Everyone has friends, but you must choose your friends wisely. This is because they can be a great asset or a great source of regret. Yeah, your friends can either make you or mar you. Their influence is very strong. It is not everyone that comes your way that qualify to enter into your friend zone; this is the reason you have to review your friends from time to time.
To review and choose your friends, ask questions like:
Who are your friends? Are they from Christian homes and do they attend to the things of God with honour? Do they tell lies? Do they say vulgar jokes? Do they encourage you to do good or bad?
Look at the questions and truthfully answer them. This helps you to know who to continue to have as a friend, and who to cut off from your side. The questions will help you to choose your friends.
Great people do not become friends with just anyone; they are careful with the people they call friends. This does not mean you should not be good to everyone or that you should not greet some people. It just means that it is not everyone that they share their life with. It is not everyone that they take counsel from. Friends are people you communicate well with, and therefore you have to choose your friends wisely.
It is my prayer that God will keep you, and that He will bless you with good friends. Amen.
Prayer: Lord make me a better friend and bless me with good friends.
Action point: Make a list of all your friends and start to examine that friendship list critically. Choose your friends. Then deliberately distance yourself from people you do not want to have as f
Those who honor was taught by Pastor Dunamis Okunowo on the 16th of May 2021 at Shouts of Grace Center, Joke Plaza, Beside Trans Amusement Park, Bodija-UI Road, Ibadan.
To Listen to the audio of this message, kindly go HERE or HERE
Proverbs 4:20; 7:24
The reason we pray long most times, for years often is that we are violating principles
How To Honor
1. You honor your father(either spiritual or biological) by paying attention to his words.
What you take in is what will bring the quality out of your life. It is also what will determine the gloriousness of your future.
Ephesians 6:1-3
When you honor, nothing can cut your life short.
Obeying your parents is giving them honor.
God looks at your heart and, not your actions.
When your heart is bad everything else will be bad.
As bad as the devil is, he can’t access your life unless you give him permission – That is when you go agsint God’s instructions.
Don’t allow your heart to be a deposit of junk.
Learn to obey because it translates to honor
Don’t allow strife, hurt, anger, bitterness get the best of you.
One day of favour has the ability to rubbish a hundred years of labour.
The devil came, but Jesus has come too.. John 10:10
Stay with the word, enjoy God.
Honoring God requires sacrifice.
2. Honor your father by paying attention without arguing – Titus 2:9
Whoever you argue with, you dishonor.
Paying attention causes you not to talk back. It is an honor to listen first. You can go as far as prostrating for a person and still dishonor that person.
It is your heart that matters most (the content of your heart and motives).
The gloriousness of your destiny is dependent on what you take i.
3. Honor by paying attention to all instructions whether big or small – John 2:5
Signs of Dishonor
Isaiah 53:3
Your absence can be a sign of dishonor – 1 Samuel 15:28-30
Your failure to call on someone can be a sign of dishonor. Matthew 2:15-16. Refusal to answer a call is also a sign of dishonor.
Disregarding advice. Deuteronomy 5
Leaving can also be a sign of dishonor – Luke 15:17-18. When you leave unceremoniously, you are disregarding your parents.
Your stubbornness can be a sign of dishonor – Exodus 14:3-4
The Covenant of help was taught by Pastor Sophia on the 16th of May 2021 at Shouts of Grace Center, Joke Plaza, Beside Trans Amusement Park, Bodija-UI Road, Ibadan.
To Listen to the audio of this message, kindly go HERE or HERE
Times and seasons are in the jurisdiction of God.
God is cutting a covenant with us where he is arising, saying that it’s our time and season.
What part do I have to play in the covenant?
1. Put the word of His help in your heart and on your lips. Meditate on it
I need help and I also need to come to the realization that I need help in my destiny, marriage, ministry, career e.t.c.
Isaiah 50:7
Get busy with God, meditating on scriptures, praying, worshipping and you won’t have time for the flesh – genesis 49:25, 1 Chronicles 12:22, Psalm 46:5
The word of God never dies.
2. Believe the word
Never doubt God’s word regardless of the circumstance.
God’s every word is interwoven. God can do more than we can conceive. The word of God eliminates the agenda of the devil.
3. Be consumed by the word
There is always work to do whichever way you take, whether the way of the covenant or the way of the world.
4. Thank God for the word of help
The process of faith is not complete without gratitude.
Focus on Him. The process of obtaining from God will have to do with all of you. Your whole life, attention, thoughts. e.t.c
God is a jealous God and so he requires that you give him your all.
5. Be sensitive to the Holy Spirit
God will accomplish his help by his spirit
God wants us to show forth and show off and do the impossible in your life.
I startedthis topic yesterday and I will be concluding on it today. Other signs that shows that your marriage needs attention on time before it becomes too late are:
5. Your spouse cannot be trusted.
In this case trust has been ruptured in time past by some events and the spouse in question has done nothing to build back the ruptured trust. The spouse is also still doing things that makes his spouse suspicious like keeping secrets, passwording phone, not been able to receive calls when your spouse is around, deleting messages, keeping late nights and the list goes on. Your marriage needs a lot of help and both of the spouses will need to be counselled. Forgiveness on the faithful spouse and repentance on the erring spouse will be necessary for healing.
6. When there is extramarital affairs.
Nothing breaks marriage like extra marital affairs. Whatever the reasons for this, scriptures enjoins us that no matter what, we should never drink water from another Cistern unjustifiably. For no reason should any of the spouses go onto an extra marital affair. The book of Proverbs especially chapter 6, talks about transparency. Couples should be sincere, open and truthful to each other.
7. When both husband and wife are not on the same page.
The very essence of marriage is that the couples be naked and are not ashamed, and that the union produces oneness that no man can put asunder. When both couples are not on the same page, the power of agreement is broken. Couples can no longer pray the prayer of agreement and see results. There are several reasons for this, that’s not what we are looking at today. The couple should not just wait, hoping some day things will turn out better. Time doesn’t make things better only intervention help sort out issues.
8. Unresolved conflicts.
Nearly all marriages have had several conflicts in their marriage. In fact, conflicts show that you married a human being with feelings and different opinion to yours. What makes the difference and marks the boys from the men, is the ability to resolved issues and get better and stronger together. It takes a whole lot of maturity to resolve conflicts. Unresolved conflict, no matter how small or little the conflict was, has the ability to break a marriage. Always resolve every issue and ensure no party is in unforgiveness, bitterness, anger.
9. Criticism
Couples should have constructive criticism which is healthy for the union. When criticism become frequent, destructive and done outside of love, then it is a sign the marriage needs help and the erring partner should be educated.
10. Finances
When couples are not transparent and open about their financial dealings, the marriage needs attention. When you hide your money, your investments, your debt, your financial givings, things you buy, and the language “my money” is often used rather than “our money”, something is terribly wrong. Your marriage needs help. You need to seek wisdom. I never want to know who is responsible, but couples should pull their resources together and jointly forge ahead. Any issue in marriage that attempts to pull you away from each other makes you need help. You can sort for help in several means, you can pray about your marriage, you can read books to enlighten you, you can take up the matter with your mentors, or change your character for the better. Whichever method is chosen, don’t just gloss over issues on your marriage.
May God grant us more understanding. God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I pay attention to my marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to pay attention to my marriage.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Most times, family members are the most ignored set of people. We tend to think that they will always be there or they don’t need much from us. We pay more attention to people that we meet on the street than to the people we have inside the house. You can easily apologize to a random person you stepped on in the street, but you find it difficult to say ‘sorry’ at home. That is not how it should be!
Now take a good look at your relationship with your family members. Do so by asking yourself these questions and giving an honest answer to each of them:
How often did you tell or show them you love them?
How many times did you help them when they needed it?
How often did you help your parents at home?
How often did you obey parental instructions?
How many times did you pray for your parents or siblings?
What was the last gift you gave your family members?
How often did you spend time with them?
How often did you fight your sibling?
These are personal questions that will guide you. You can and should add yours to these. Showing love to your family is important and gladdens the heart of God. One of the reasons is because the family is the fundamental unit of the society; when things are right there, things will be right in the larger society. As a Christian child, you are supposed to value the family system. Christianity itself is a family of believers in Christ. May the Lord bless you in name of Jesus. Amen.
Prayer: Lord, I am grateful for the family you have blessed me with. I thank you for my parents and siblings. Help me to value them more. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Action point: Start by saying a big thank you to your family members for being there for you throughout the year. You can make a big “thank you” card for them.
Somebody was once asked what are the three most important ingredients of a relationship or marriage that would be successful. He simply gave them:
Communication
Communication
Communication I believe he was right!
Communication is powerful and is so essential. Right from the very first few seconds of a baby’s entrance into this world, there must be communication or the baby will be given some baby smacks to give out a sound! As a matter of fact, communication, in an unexplainable way begins right from the embryonic stage of the baby in its mother’s womb. When communication in a relationship or marriage nosedives, the consequences show up immediately. In every relationship and marriage, there are levels of communication that must be explored to create a balance.
1. Communication with your maker No matter how good you are with communication or how adept you are in relating with others, if you have not first communicated with your maker, all the efforts will be futile. You see, you need to understand this, as it is fundamental. Your success in a relationship or marriage is predicated on your relationship with God as a foundation. Do you know God? If you don’t know God first, you won’t be able to know him or her. For you to understand what love is and how to love appropriately, you have to know God first because God is love! When you say something like, “I don’t want to be spiritual,” you are not being true to yourself, because you are essentially a spirit! You are a spirit who thinks with a soul and lives in a body! The body is not the real you! That is why the body is here on earth and decays after the man dies. When a man dies, the real him escapes from the body and reports to God!
Marriage itself is spiritual, from the very day that God instituted it. To succeed therefore in such, you need to first retrace your steps and establish a deliberate relationship with God. This is why we often say that it is risky to marry a man or woman that doesn’t know God! Do you know that knowing God, reading His word regularly will help you from falling into the hands of the wrong spouse? You see that in the book of Proverbs where it says specifically that He will deliver you from the evil man and from the strange woman!
To deliver thee from the way of the EVIL MAN, from the man that speaketh froward things; (Proverbs 2:12 KJV) To deliver thee from the STRANGE WOMAN, even from the stranger which flattereth with her words; (Proverbs 2:16 KJV)
2. Communication with yourself The next stage is communication with yourself. Who are you? This answers the question of identity. Why are you here? This answers the question of purpose. This stage is important because if you don’t answer these questions before venturing into a relationship or marriage, you will end up frustrating him or her.
The questions of identity and purpose, if left unanswered would weary you and bring confusion as you begin to deal with another person. True love with yourself is a personal discovery of who you are and why you are here. If you don’t have true love for yourself, you cannot love another person. A person for example, who has answered the questions of identity and purpose, would not sleep around irresponsibly. The reality of who he or she is in God and the weight of his assignment would not allow him or her to misbehave. The gloriousness of his assignment would debar him from traveling down the road of compromise. When you know who you are, you will not try to get affirmations from the opposite sex who is looking for some lustful flings. When you know God’s plan for your life, the awesomeness of your future will prevent you from opening your legs to everybody that knocks! When a sense of purpose drives you, the fear of God will keep you from deceiving that guy or girl because of some paltry sums of money. When you know who you are, you won’t end up with a gut or girl in bed who you just met a few hours ago.
I challenge you this morning to seek the face of God in fasting and prayer to answer these questions. Who are you? Why are you here? Where is your location? There is a geographical milieu where you will thrive and flourish. Where is that place? You are a seed of God and every seed doesn’t grow everywhere. Before you travel or relocate to that country, have you been led by God? These are simple questions that will solve complex equations in your lives! May God grant more understanding! Wherever you are now, you can begin by talking to God and asking him these questions!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will communicate right with my maker
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to do it right.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Prov 2:11-12 (NIV) Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you. Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men, from men whose words are perverse,
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study the word “communication”
Losing a loved one is a painful experience. During such a period, they need to be comforted because of the pain they are in. They miss their loved ones and are trying to come to terms with not having them around anymore. This can truly be an excruciating experience for people.
At such a time of loss of a loved one, they need to be comforted and only God can do that for them. No word that anyone can speak will be able to offer the much needed comfort, if God does not come in. And how do we bring God into the situation? It is simply by praying for these ones.
You can pray to God to comfort the people that has lost a loved one. Before you go to say a word to them, get on your knees and say a prayer for them. Only He can comfort them as they should be comforted. His love for them will make Him to.
Say their names in prayer, asking that the grace of God will help them get back on their feet and continue with their lives. Losing a loved one will definitely create a gap in the lives of the people, but God is able to fill up that gap and make their lives whole again. That is the reason you need to pray for comfort for them.
Prayer: Lord, please comfort all those who need to be comforted right now. Help the people who has lost a loved one to receive your comfort and love in the name of Jesus. Amen
Action point: Pray for that person you know who has just lost a loved one. Pray that they will receive comfort right now.
Signs or symptoms make us pay attention to certain areas of our lives.
There are certain signs or symptoms that our marriage shows that make us know that it is time to pay attention to our marriage. When you have a headache, it is a sign that you need to pay attention to your body. Something is wrong somewhere. It could be as a result of body weakness or something.
Finding out what went wrong is a whole lot of effort on its own. After you find out what is wrong, you then take the right medicine to cure or get rid of the symptoms.
In the same way, our marriage show certain signs that makes is aware of the fact that our marriage need help.
Here are some of those signs:
Observation from friends and family. When friends and family begin to ask questions and are worried about the way your marriage is going. When things are obviously wrong and it is visible to your friends. Then you need to retrace your steps and begin paying attention to your marriage.
When your children’s attitude begins to change. There are several ways when things are not cordial between husband and wife, that affect the children. They may become withdrawn, stubborn, sickly, prone to domestic accidents, lower performance in school. Once you begin to see these signs, then your marriage needs attention.
Physical abuse If there is any kind of abuse in your marriage then that marriage needs attention. Either you visit a marriage counselor, read books, pray, listen to messages, or change your attitude or behaviour. When either of the spouses becomes violet or threatens the marriage, then your marriage needs attention. Note that in all these, it is not about who is right or wrong, it’s about quick intervention in the marriage, and proffering solution to wherever the problem is.
Withdrawal When either of the spouse is withdrawn and no longer enjoy the company of the other spouse, that marriage needs quick intervention. When the couples are nothing but mere bed mate or housemate When silence becomes the order of the day and you find it difficult to share your thoughts, feelings, et cetera. That marriage needs help. When the new normal is monosyllable questions followed by monosyllable answers, your marriage needs help.
I will stop here today and continue tomorrow by God grace.
May God send us needed help at the right time.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I pay attention to my marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to pay attention to my marriage.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
There shouldn’t be issues of somebody giving you a “nail” when you propose if you follow simple traffic rules.
The guy is like the one driving a car and the lady is the parking space.
So the guy is driving and he wants to ‘branch’ into a place, traffic rule says you should trafficate.
According to Wikipedia, Trafficators are semaphore signals which, when operated, protrude from the bodywork of a motor vehicle to indicate its intention to turn in the direction indicated by the pointing signal.
So a guy is interested in a lady, you want to turn in her direction, the next thing to do is to use your trafficator! How do you do that?
You indicate your intention in little but healthy ways. You must have been friends of course! You send her an SMS (not to propose, but just saying hi), buy her a card, or keep a bar of chocolate for her. Those are some little healthy gestures that tell her, I want to “turn here.” That way, you are using the trafficator.
Now, the girl with her attitudes, reactions, and body language will either welcome you or rebuff you completely. It is either she brings up a signpost that tells you that you can turn in here or she brings up a warning sign, ‘No Parking!’
Once you see ‘No parking’ repeatedly, you simply drive on and say, ‘who wants to park before, my hands just mistakenly hit the trafficator!
You see that way, you stop wasting your time and energy and you avoid unnecessary rejection and you are still friends at the end of the day.
But you see, there are guys who are not really interested in commitment who just want to have a place to park illegally and have some jeru trip. Be wary of such.
Then, there are guys that will not trafficate at all and will just turn in. That is a traffic offence tantamount to justified rejection. You don’t operate like that in the kingdom.
There are also guys, who will trafficate right and then they abruptly turn to the left. That is nothing but wickedness. It is a traffic offence! Those kinds of guys should not be given an inch of parking space at all. They are not being sincere about what they really want.
Then there are also guys who will leave their double blinker on. You are not sure where they are going because the trafficators show they are turning both left and right at the same time. Don’t give your attention to such guys!
Traffic offences will always attract traffic officers and they will either arrest you or waste your time. Learn to do it God’s way so you don’t end up wasting a few years in your attempts at marriage.
And then for guys, look at the signs very well before you turn in. There are some places that are just dead ends. When you get entangled and fall in love with someone who has no relationship with God in any form but because she has hot legs, you are simply looking for trouble.
There are also places where the parking space is full, there is no reason getting involved with a married person. But you and your car may not survive it!
For married people, appreciate your spouse and stop using your trafficators on forbidden zones. There are some places you are not permitted to drive to again. You can admire those parking spaces but don’t desire them and don’t go there. Go back and use your space that God has given you and God will bless you on that.
As a married man, there are several parking places that look so alluring but God says don’t try it. They look beautiful with soft grass where your car can easily be parked but underneath are sharp pricks that will ground your vehicle. You will be immobilized, your destiny will be truncated and you will be grounded.
If you are illegally parked somewhere, it is time to move before you are grounded. If you are already grounded, get a towing vehicle and move out fast. That will cost you a little but it is the best thing to do. Run to God and decide to do it right. That is when you can run your race with grace and you will be sure you will get to your destination.
I pray for you this morning that every hindrance in your way is removed in Jesus name. You will surely get to your destination.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to trafficate rightly.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ephesians 1:17-18 NLT asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Trafficate before you park
Another thing you can ask God to do for people is to provide. God is our great provider, and that is the confidence you use to pray for provision for the people around you.
The bible tells us that God meets all our needs. He is able to provide our daily bread. He is able to make us lie down in green pastures. He was the One that provided manna for the children of Israel as they journeyed through the wilderness! And just like He met all the needs of the Israelites while they were on their way to the Promised land, He is able and willing to meet yours too. He gave the Israelites food, water, healing, protection, and lots more. So you must learn to pray for provision.
And my God will liberally supply (fill to the full) your every need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:19 (AMP)
Pray that God will provide for the needs of your friends, especially those whose parents are struggling to pay their fees at school. Ask that God will send help their way.
Pray for provision for neighbours who have needs too. God can do this for them. God can bring surprises their way, if only you can pray for provision. Pray for your parents. Ask that God will provide for them to provide for you and your siblings. Pray for people who are around you whose needs you can see and know of. Pray that God will give them whatever they need.
When you pray for provision for others, God will provide for you too. Besides, you don’t know who is even praying for you too. That’s just the way it works.
Remember, with God nothing is impossible. So, don’t think your prayers are in vain. God hears them all.
May the Lord answer your prayers, as you pray for provision. Amen.
Prayer: Lord, please provide for all the people I know and don’t know who need provision of any kind. Send help to them right now. Amen.
Action point: Start to pray for provision for others.
You can’t afford to fail God or your spouse in your marriage. Apartfrom the fact that marriage is a wonderful relationship with the one you love, there is also the responsibility part. There is something always there to remind us of his truth. Yet for some of us our flesh, stubborn self, ego, revenge, the taste of tit for tat, strife, unforgiveness keeps us constantly with our spouse, like a mosquito always thirsty for blood.
When you view your marriage from another perspective, from the perspective of Covenant, it will change the way we view your marriage.
My husband, during our midweek service, taught along this line. It was such a blessing and it changed my perspective about my marriage forever. God is cutting a new covenant with His people. To God, our marriage is about the covenant and not just about our spouse.
And I will give them one heart and one purpose: to worship me forever, for their own good and for the good of all their descendants. And I will make an everlasting covenant with them: I will never stop doing good for them. I will put a desire in their hearts to worship me, and they will never leave me. I will find joy doing good for them and will faithfully and wholeheartedly replant them in this land. Jeremiah 32:39 – 41 NLT
More so, God was in Christ when He cut a new covenant with us by His blood. Jesus became both the offering and the offerer. When He had to fulfill the demands of the law to set us free from death and its consequences. Jesus took the cross, suffered great agony, endured such shame and pain that He might see us free.
When you begin to see your marriage as a vital art of you, that Jesus paid the price for you will sit up.
Just like the Israelites, Pharaoh wanted to negotiate them out of taking their children, livestock and all that belong to them. They were wise enough to know that God was giving them a total and complete deliverance that includes all they have.
Your marriage to God is all about the covenant. There is a higher purpose, there is a more important agenda in the father’s heart. Which is total deliverance.
Jesus didn’t just die for our spirit not to be lost in hell. He died for everything about our lives. Our health, children, marriage, finances, mental health, emotional life, everything.
We owe God to respond back in gratitude, faithfulness and obedience to our part of the covenant. Our part is to obey every instruction in the word.
For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. Ephesians 5:22 – 26 NLT
My marriage before God is obeying Ephesians chapter 5 verses 22 to 26, whether I feel like obeying or not, is not the issue.
That Jesus also despise the shame. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. Hebrews 12:2 NLT
Necessity is laid on is to carry our cross of fulfilling our marriage covenant.
If you refuse to take up your cross and follow me, you are not worthy of being mine. Matthew 10:38 NLT
We become worthy of the sacrifice of Jesus when we carry our cross daily and follow Jesus. We carry our cross by obeying Him despite how or what we feel like doing.
To our spouse, our marriage is a responsibility that we must not fail to fulfill. It is spelt out in Ephesians 5: 22-26. What husbands should focus on doing as well as what wives should focus on doing. Here each party must focus on his/her part of the deal.
We owe our spouse to appropriately respond to our part in our covenant with them. To make sure we provide a conducive environment that will not leave our spouse vulnerable to the attacks and lies of the devil.
We owe our spouses to conduct ourselves in such a way that makes them comfortable in our presence. In being submissive, loving, caring, forgiving, available et cetera. We owe our spouses to be covenant partners in all ways and all aspects of our lives and existence. Whether spiritual, in the soulish realm, and physically.
But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys himself. He will be wounded and disgraced. His shame will never be erased. Proverbs 6:32 – 33 NLT
We owe our spouses to surround them so that we shut the door against the senseless and foolish sin of adultery and every form of emotional affairs.
May God grant us understanding.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not fail God in my marriage
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me no to fail you.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY then I will give them one heart and one way, that they may fear Me forever, for the good of them and their children after them. (Jer 32:39 NKJV)
The marriage bed – There are things that are popular and prevalent but not necessarily of God. That something is nearly ubiquitous does not validate it.
The voice of the people is sometimes reverberations and echoes of the devil! The voice of God is what stands any day, any time. The voice of man and the principles of man are often fraught with errors and casualties.
There are things that have been defined by the media and societal inclination; but as long as they are not founded on the word, they are as fickle as a flower that blossoms today and withers tomorrow.
You cannot build your life on such, or else when the storm rages; the wind blows and the rain falls, great will be the ruin of such a building.
For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ. (1 Corinthians 3:11 KJV)
So, what are some of those popular things?
1. She has to get pregnant before marriage
Some families will insist on this before they agree on any marriage. They want to be sure that the daughter they are bringing into the family is fertile or the guy that wants to marry their daughter is not impotent.
No matter how logical this looks, it contradicts the principle of God in terms of making the marriage bed undefiled.
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. (Hebrews 13:4 KJV)
However you want to see it, even though it is popular, what is wrong is wrong. When your marriage is therefore founded on disobedience, it cut short the blessings of God.
It is not the ‘fertility’ of the lady or the potency of the man that will guarantee the next pregnancy after marriage. The same way it sounds logical to say one has to be sure with pregnancy also contradicts itself.
The same logic says what if he gets pregnant and one gets married and then loses the pregnancy, what happens? Then one will know how to cry unto God.
2. He has to be ‘mobile’ (He‘s got to have a car!)
Well, this is good! Who doesn’t want the best of things and who wants to ‘suffer’ first? If your fiancée has a good car before marriage, great!
You are blessed! But to make this a criterion will be a great error. The important thing is to find out God’s plan for your life. His thoughts towards you are thoughts of peace and not of evil!
Are you marrying the car or the guy? What if something happens to the car? There are seemingly rich guys today who are on their way to being massively broke. But there are also guys who are seemingly broke today but are on their way to being unrepentantly rich! As a lady, you need to follow your heart and you have to be able to “perceive!”
3. We have to be compatible in bed
You just want to satisfy your lust, simple! How do you measure this compatibility in bed? What would he or she do that will give a pass mark? And if he or she is not compatible according to your judgment, what happens?
Look for the next available person and jump in bed to measure compatibility? Compatibility in bed is a figment of the imagination, and that is why you keep measuring after the first “measurement” It is high time we stop that deception.
It is high times ladies woke up and stop being easily deceived. wait for the marriage bed!
If the lady was good in bed, you’ll say she is too exposed; she has slept with too many people. If she is naïve in bed, you’ll say she is Mummy’s girl! So, exactly what are you up to?
4. We have to seek Prophet’s consent
This is another nonsensical pursuit. It is a waste of time. What you need to know is that there are prophets for profit. They are hungry and they need to eat, so they will always see something. Even when you give them three non-existent names, they will still see something! That spirit in them will not be able to identify that those are non-existent names.
In the Old Testament, the people will consult the prophet for direction because the Holy Spirit is only upon these prophets. But in the New Testament, the primary function of the prophet has moved from foretelling to forth-telling.
The Holy Spirit is now upon all believers, and you are supposed to be led by the Spirit of God individually. If your prophet or pastor confirms what is already in your heart; that is okay. I have done that for a lot of people, but pastors or prophets are not to be sought for direction on who to marry! You are to decide, they can confirm! If a pastor insists you must marry somebody you dislike and you are not in love with, that is nothing more than emotionalism and manipulation!
5. I don’t really love him or her, but I need the citizenship
This is another wrong reason to get married. Getting married to an older person to get some papers? Don’t be that desperate; allow God to do what He wants to do in your life.
What if you are not supposed to be in that place, according to God’s direction for your life? You would have sentenced yourself to a life of non-fulfillment and dissatisfaction.
You might end up having some dollars, but you will never have the peace of mind that way, and there is all likelihood that such marriages will not last! You don’t have God’s support when you venture into such deals.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I do not go by what’s popular. I will follow God’s plan for my life. Popular opinion does not move me, only the word of God does.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, lead me to the right person for me.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Wisdom is the principal thing; Therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding (Proverbs 4:7 NKJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Don’t look for what is popular. Pray in the spirit instead.
Over the years, from counseling experiences, and even from the scriptures, one guaranteed reason a relationship or marriage will crash is when there is no form of mentoring or tutelage, or better put, when there is no accountability!
The kingdom of God is so orchestrated in such a way that you are not supposed to stay in isolation. Isolation will usually dovetail to desolation.
Here is God’s word:
God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains: but the rebellious dwell in a dry land. (Psalms 68:6 KJV)
God in His wisdom has surrounded us with not only physical families but also spiritual families. You have to be able to identify your spiritual family and stay there. There is a man or woman that God has placed over you from whom you can access wisdom and who will be able to speak into your life in the times of storms.
There are times that you face some issues, and yet the solution to that storm is just a sentence or two away in the mouth of an anointed servant of God.
This is why I am often scared of couples that have nobody they are accountable to. I am often scared of couples that have no mentors over them. Somebody has rightly said that you need mentors to avoid tormentors of life!
Singles, beware of getting into a relationship with a person who is accountable to no one! The moment he or she begins to tell you that God is his mentor, something is wrong somewhere.
Now, I will tell you why it is so important that you get married to somebody who is accountable.
There are some times that couples call in for counseling and upon listening to them, there would only be one way to move forward.
So, I would ask the question,
“Who is your husband’s mentor?”
It is always sad when the answer is “Nobody sir!”
So, I would usually reframe the question, “Who does your husband respect? Who can talk to him?”
And then, a sadder answer comes “Nobody sir!”
Then I would make one more attempt, “What about his parents?”
“He does not listen to his parents! Nobody can talk to him!”
At this point, the situation actually looks bleak… because you can hardly help an isolated and disenfranchised person!
One of the pertinent things to be sure of in considering marriage is the issue of accountability!
Don’t get involved with someone who says you don’t need a mentor. That would be risky!
Let me conclude with this scripture:
Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established. (Proverbs 15:22 KJV)
Purposes can be genuine, but when they are without counsel, they can be frustrated and disappointed.
See it in Message translation:
Refuse good advice and watch your plans fail; take good counsel and watch them succeed. (Proverbs 15:22 Message)
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the wisdom of God. I am not isolated. My relationship will not crash.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, show me who you have appointed to speak into my life so that my relationship will not crash.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY The empty–headed treat life as a plaything; the perceptive grasp its meaning and make a go of it. (Proverbs 15:21 Message)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Discuss and decide on who will be your mentor
The world is full of so much evil; everyone needs to be protected. And this is where your prayer comes in – you can also pray for protection; for people to be protected by God. The bible tells us that God is the ultimate protector of all mankind. If God does not protect someone, then every form of human protection is utterly useless. See this verse of the Bible:
If the LORD does not build the house, the work of the builders is useless; if the LORD does not protect the city, it does no good for the sentries to stand guard.
Psalm 127:1 (GNT)
Did you see that? Therefore you must learn to pray for protection, if you want people to be guarded by God. Pray for your parents on their way to work, at work, and on their way back home. Pray for your friends, neighbors, extended family members, classmates, and others.
Pray that God will keep them safe from any accident, infection, trouble, or loss. God can protect, and He will protect whatever you hand over to Him. Do you think there is anything that can come and take what is in the Hand of God? I don’t think so. God is so powerful that whatever you commit to Him is kept safe. When you pray for protection, you are putting those people or things into the Hand of God, and they will sure be safe.
You could pray for people worldwide also, especially in places where there are wars or insecurity.
May the Lord keep you and your family safe, as you pray for protection. Amen
Prayer: Lord, I pray that you keep all my family members safe throughout today. Keep my friends safe. Watch over all my loved ones. Amen.
A happy marriage does nothappen by accident, there are deliberate steps both spouse have to take, we’ll continue on this topic today.
9. Delight in your days together.
That is consciously being a happy person. Celebrate what you have now. Yes, things will be better, but don’t postpone your happiness till when things become better.
At whatever stage you are in right now, be happy. Celebrate and be proud of your spouse. Don’t be quick to want to fix things about your spouse. Stop being overly sensitive to the faults of your spouse. Don’t use a magnifying lens to see and look at your spouse’s faults.
Don’t exaggerate your spouse’s faults. Know that we are all humans. We are giving to mistakes, errors, and shortcomings. Teach by example, give information, don’t sermonize, don’t criticize. Never allow your spouse to feel they are no good. Stop drawing attention negatively to your spouse.
Delight in your selves together. Enjoy your selves. Have a good sexual life and do a lot of talking. Don’t let work, business or the children steal your time spent together.
10. Aim at love every time. Let your guide post be to walk in love.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
1 Corinthians 13:4 – 7 NLT Let the words of this scriptures be before your face. Meditate on it. Keep not in your heart, put it on your lips. Confession brings possession. As part of your daily routine and daily prayers. Ask God to make you a love being. A dispenser of love and confess the whole attribute of love over yourself and your spouse. Speak to your spirit that you are patient and kind.
The more you talk about these virtues to yourself the more you become them. That is walking in the spirit and not gratifying the deeds of the flesh.
Try and follow all these tips and improve on them. You will see your marriage take a new turn for the better.
May God grant us more understanding.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will work.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, give me an understanding for my marriage in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:28 ESV In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Have a hearty discussion with your partner today.
There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother.There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness.There is a generation, O how lofty are their eyes! and their eyelids are lifted up.There is a generation, whose teeth are as swords, and their jaw teeth as knives, to devour the poor from off the earth, and the needy from among men (Proverbs 30:11-14 KJV)
I am still a small boy. I will be forty-nine in October. I have several older friends, some in their fifties and some in their sixties, so you agree with me that I am still a very young man, plus I really look young.
As a pastor for some time, there are things I have heard that made my ears tingle. There are experiences people have gone through that seemed unbelievable. Some of them came through it and lived to tell the story. Some were not so strong enough; they were swept off their feet.
I will like to reminiscence and bring you some of those scenarios. The intent is not to mock, but to teach and for you to be cautioned. The devil has no new strategies; it is the same old, dump traps that he sets. Here we go. Names are fictional.
Case 1
Sandy was being asked out by George. She refused. Sandy was a church girl; George was a street guy. She just wanted friendship. She visited him one day so that he wouldn’t feel bad again because he was refused, because George kept acting up. Sandy was served Juice.
She suspected, and then she thought, ‘he couldn’t have poisoned her drink. She took the drink since it was freshly opened, but what she didn’t know was that you don’t need to open a juice before you add some drugs. A syringe and needle were used. After taking the drink, she wanted to leave, but she was delayed. That was the last she knew.
Fast forward to seven hours later. She woke up drowsily. The room smelt of Indian hemp and alcohol. She saw George and three other guys, eyes red and faces changed. She knew she was in trouble. They were going to rape her. The music blared out loud from the deck. Shouting was useless.
Her mistakes
1. She visited them in their territory. That was calling for trouble.
2. She trusted them. That was a great mistake.
3. She made friends with wrong set of people
Lessons
1. You don’t trust an unbeliever. Even a young believer whose mind is not renewed yet is capable of doing anything.
2. People can be sweet-talking and yet have bile within. Be alert, being naïve can be tragic.
Case 2
She just got admission into the university in her teenage years. She was from a Christian home. Her parents were deacons. She had friends who were not Christians. She had a self-esteem issue. She believed her breasts were too small, and that was why she was not beautiful. Her friends said it was because he had no boyfriends to help press them.
They promised to get her a boyfriend. They did. She started sleeping around.
Fast forward, three months. She was a pregnant eighteen-year-old. Her friends said she was stupid, what happened to all the pills? She said she could not murder a soul.
They laughed at her. Her parents were devastated. They said they could not abort for her as well. Back in school, her tummy was protruding. She could not live with the shame. Her friends eventually persuaded her that it was not too late to abort.
She obliged, damning the consequences. It was removed by a person who said he was a doctor. It was a twin pregnancy. One was removed; the other was left there. Complications arose. A few days later, she died!
Her mistakes
1. Wrong set of friends. You don’t surround yourself with enemies.
2. She drew strength for her esteem from a wrong source.
Lessons
1. Jeru trip whether it leads to pregnancy or not, is not the way to go.
2. You don’t take mentoring lessons from friends, they don’t know more than you do.
Case 3
Two friends driving on the road hit an old man’s car. The old man was furious, came down, because these two guys were in a brand new car. These guys came out of their car arrogantly with no apology.
They asked the man how much his car was worth. These further infuriated the man, who said he was not interested in their money but they should fix his car. One of the guys went into his boot and brought out a big bag full of money! The little crowd around was shocked.
Unknown to them, nemesis was going to catch up on them. They soon attracted more crowd of people because the man refused to take the money and kept asking them where they got so much money from.
Policemen were soon attracted; they simply arrested them and went to their house for a search. Right there where they lived were two girls on their knees with stuff on their heads…it was a ritual case! The girls have been turned into money-spinning demonic zombies, their lives snuffed out!
Lessons
1. Not everybody that wants to sleep with you and offer you money; really loves you. Some just want to ‘use’ you!
2. Don’t follow strangers home and don’t take strangers into your house because of some quick money.
3. Learn how to live by faith and trust God for your provision rather than live by deception and a life of iniquity. The consequences are right there.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY The Holy Spirit will guide me into all truth.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open my eyes of understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits. (1 Cor 15:33 NKJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Carefully pick your friends with open eyes.
