I Want to Love My Spouse: Steps to a Deeper, God-Centered Love
Loving your spouse isn’t always easy—it requires intentionality, grace, and a willingness to grow. If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “I really want to love my spouse, but I don’t know how,” you’re not alone. Marriage is a journey of learning, sacrifice, and leaning on God’s strength. Here are five biblical steps to help you cultivate a deeper, more authentic love for your spouse.
1. Pray for Your Spouse Daily
Love begins in the heart, and prayer opens the door for God to work in both your life and your spouse’s life. When you pray for your spouse, you invite God to soften hearts, heal wounds, and strengthen your bond. 1 Peter 3:7 encourages husbands to treat their wives with understanding, adding, “so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” Prayer aligns your heart with God’s purposes for your marriage.
Praying for your spouse shifts your focus from their flaws to their needs. It helps you see them through God’s eyes and fosters compassion.
2. Choose Love Over Feelings
Feelings of romance may ebb and flow, but love is a choice—a daily decision to act in kindness, patience, and selflessness. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 reminds us that love is patient, kind, forgiving, and enduring. Even when feelings fade, you can choose to love your spouse through actions that honor God and reflect His character.
Feelings are fleeting, but intentional love builds trust and security. Choosing love, even when it’s hard, demonstrates commitment and faithfulness.
3. Communicate with Grace and Humility
Healthy communication is the foundation of any strong relationship. Speak words of encouragement, listen without judgment, and address conflicts with humility. Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Loving your spouse means valuing their perspective and seeking resolution rather than winning arguments.
Communication creates connection. When you communicate with grace, you create an environment where love can flourish.
4. Serve Your Spouse Willingly
True love is expressed through service. Jesus set the ultimate example of servant leadership when He washed His disciples’ feet (John 13:15 ). Serving your spouse doesn’t mean keeping score or expecting something in return—it means meeting their needs with joy and humility.
Acts of service show your spouse they are valued and cherished. Small, consistent gestures of kindness can reignite affection and deepen intimacy.
5. Pursue Growth Together
Marriage thrives when both partners grow spiritually, emotionally, and relationally. Spend time studying Scripture together, attending church, or engaging in activities that draw you closer to God and each other. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 reminds us, “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.” Growing together strengthens your bond and keeps your love vibrant.
When you pursue God as a couple, you build a partnership rooted in eternal values.
Love isn’t built in a day, like we desire it to. It’s planted, watered, nurtured, and pruned. Four hard tasks. In other words, love actually screams work!
Too many people want the flowers of love—the romance, the connection, the companionship, the communication, the oneness—without committing to the gardening. But gardens don’t bloom because we wish them to. They bloom because someone gets their hands dirty.
In relationships, planting looks like intentionality—choosing someone, showing up consistently, building trust. You have to be intentional about your relationship—right from choosing someone.
Watering looks like kind words, small acts of service, listening, and forgiveness.
Pruning? That’s probably the tough one. It means removing habits, attitudes, and even friendships that threaten the health of your love. Why are you still chatting with your ex and hiding it from your spouse? Why are you still hanging out with him/her without your spouse? That relationship has to go! That’s pruning.
So, gardens need work. Neglect a garden long enough and weeds grow—resentment, silence, pride, selfishness. And soon, something that once had promise becomes overgrown with pain.
If you’re single, ask yourself: Am I becoming someone who knows how to garden love, or just someone who wants to enjoy its beauty?
If you’re married, ask: Have we been nurturing our garden, or have we let weeds grow unchecked?
The best gardens aren’t the ones with the rarest seeds. They’re the ones who were cared for every single day. They had the best gardeners who did the work.
So today, tend your garden.
Pull out a weed. Plant a word. Water with prayer. And trust God for the increase.
How Understanding Grace And Law Can Transform Your Relationship
The age-old conversation between Grace and Law is one every believer must understand. Are they at odds, or are they two parts of God’s redemptive story?
“For the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ.” (John 1:17 KJV)
The Law, given through Moses, was holy, just, and good. It set a divine standard, revealing God’s nature and exposing man’s weakness. However, it could not make us righteous. It was like a mirror, able to show us our flaws but powerless to cleanse them.
Grace, on the other hand, came through Jesus. It doesn’t lower the standard, it empowers us to meet it. It’s not an excuse to live in sin, but the divine enablement to live above it.
“For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.” (Romans 6:14 KJV)
Under the Law, there was demand without supply. But under Grace, God supplies what He requires. Through the finished work of Christ, we are no longer striving to earn God’s favor, we already have it.
“For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world.” (Titus 2:11–12 KJV)
Dear believer, don’t see Grace and Law as enemies. The Law was our tutor, pointing us to Christ. Grace is our inheritance, drawing us to walk with Him. Jesus didn’t abolish the Law; He fulfilled it, and now He lives through us.
Prayer
Father, thank You for the gift of Grace through Jesus Christ. Teach me to walk daily in the freedom You have given, not by legalism, but by the Spirit. Help me to honor You, not out of fear of punishment, but through love empowered by Your grace.
“When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.” Isn’t that what they say?
But what if you aren’t tough enough, or not tough at all? Every human being encounters a season in life when breaking through feels impossible. Those seasons come in waves. It’s rarely just a one-time thing. Yet, in those moments of weakness and fragility, one thing remains true: we are made strong through God’s strength.
God understands exactly how you feel in your moments of frailty; the hopelessness and confusion when you’ve been believing Him for a good job, or trusting Him for the right partner. He knows, and that’s the truth.
If it weren’t true, the Bible wouldn’t highlight the weaknesses of our heroes of faith. We wouldn’t know that the man after God’s own heart made major mistakes. We wouldn’t read about how Peter was right one moment and rebuked the next. Those stories were recorded because God wanted you to know that, at the end of the day, we are all just human and we always need Him to make things right.
Hebrews 4:15 [NLT] This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin.
That’s your turning point. God is always a million steps ahead. He figured it all out before you were even conceived. He sent you a Helper: the Holy Spirit. I mean, who needs help if they already have it all figured out?
So yes, it’s okay not to know what to do, because you don’t always have to. The Bible tells us not to lean on our own understanding. Why? Because even when we think we have the answers, God always knows best.
Bottom line: You need to be vulnerable before Him and always seek His face, because His strength is made perfect in your weakness, and you can always lean on Him.
Sarah, the wife of Abraham, had passed away. She had been his companion for many years through every journey, every promise, every joy, and heartache. And Abraham did what anyone would do after losing someone they love deeply: he wept. He didn’t avoid his grief. He sat in it, felt it, and honored her with his tears.
Genesis 23:2-3 – “And Sarah died in Kirjatharba; the same is Hebron in the land of Canaan: and Abraham came to mourn for Sarah, and to weep for her. And Abraham stood up from before his dead, and spake unto the sons of Heth…”
But then, he stood up.
Not because the sorrow disappeared, or because he stopped loving her, but because life was still moving forward. There were things to be done, and a future that still held God’s promises.
And Abraham stood up from before his dead These words are a reminder that grief is real and necessary, but so is rising again. Many of us have sat too long beside the memories of what we’ve lost, whether it’s a person, a dream, or a part of ourselves.
Just like the bible says, there’s a time to mourn, and there’s also a time to rise.
Getting up doesn’t mean forgetting. It means choosing not to stay stuck. It means believing that God’s plan for your life isn’t over, even when it feels like something important is gone.
Maybe your “Sarah” was a relationship, a job, a chapter of life, a contract, or a version of yourself you miss. Whatever it is, know this: you can grieve, and you can also move forward.
Feeling unloved by your husband can be one of the most painful experiences in marriage. It shakes the foundation of trust, intimacy, and emotional security that a healthy relationship should provide. But even in this place of hurt, there is hope. God sees your pain, and His Word offers comfort, guidance, and strength to help you navigate this difficult season. Here are five truths to hold onto when feeling unloved by your husband.
1. God Loves You Unconditionally
When human love fails or feels insufficient, remember that God’s love never wavers. Jeremiah 31:3 says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” No matter how your husband treats you, God cherishes you deeply and sees your worth. His love is a safe refuge when earthly relationships fall short.
Focusing on God’s unwavering love helps you find validation and peace outside of your husband’s actions. It reminds you that your identity isn’t tied to how he behaves but to whose you are—God’s beloved child.
2. Pray for Your Husband’s Heart
It’s easy to grow bitter or resentful when you are feeling unloved by your husband, but prayer can soften hearts, including your husband’s. 1 Peter 3:1-2 encourages wives, “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives…” Your prayers and godly example can create space for transformation.
Prayer shifts your focus from bitterness to intercession, inviting God to work in your husband’s heart. Trust that He hears your cries and is able to restore what is broken.
3. Guard Your Own Heart Against Bitterness
Feeling unloved by your husband can lead to resentment, anger, or despair, but nurturing these emotions will only harm you further. Hebrews 12:15 warns, “See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” Protect your heart by surrendering your pain to God and choosing forgiveness.
Forgiveness doesn’t excuse harmful behavior, but it frees you from carrying the weight of bitterness. Letting go allows God to heal your wounds and guide you forward.
4. Seek Support and Accountability
You don’t have to face this struggle alone. Surround yourself with trusted friends, mentors, or counselors who can offer wisdom, encouragement, and accountability. Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors, there is safety.” A supportive community can remind you of your value and help you process your feelings constructively.
Isolation amplifies pain, while connection fosters healing. Talking to others ensures you’re not navigating this season alone and provides clarity about next steps.
5. Trust God’s Plan for Your Marriage
Even in the darkest moments, God is still at work. If reconciliation is possible, He can bring restoration. If separation or divorce becomes necessary due to abuse or abandonment, He promises to be your provider and protector. Isaiah 54:5 declares, “For your Maker is your husband—the Lord Almighty is his name.”
Trusting God’s sovereignty gives you peace, knowing that He holds your future. Whether your marriage is restored or you walk a new path, He will never leave you nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6 ).
Marriage is a beautiful union of two unique individuals, each with their own personality, background, strengths, and weaknesses. While love often draws people together, it is acceptance that sustains the bond through the inevitable changes and challenges of life. Acceptance in marriage goes beyond tolerating differences; it means embracing your partner wholly, flaws, quirks, and all, and committing to grow together in understanding and unity.
1. Acceptance Builds a Foundation of Peace
When couples accept each other as they are, it creates a peaceful and secure environment. There is less pressure to perform or pretend, and both partners can truly be themselves. This emotional safety fosters open communication, reduces defensiveness, and enhances intimacy. It allows each person to be vulnerable, knowing they are loved even in their imperfections.
2. It Encourages Growth, Not Control
Many people enter marriage with the silent hope of changing their partner. However, true acceptance does not mean ignoring areas that need improvement—it means encouraging growth in a loving, patient way, rather than trying to control or criticize. Change becomes more natural and long-lasting when it is inspired by love rather than forced by pressure.
3. Strengthens Emotional Connection
Feeling accepted by your spouse affirms your worth and value. It strengthens the emotional connection and deepens the bond between you. When both partners feel respected and appreciated, trust grows, and conflicts are handled with more compassion and understanding.
4. Reduces Unnecessary Conflicts
Many marital conflicts stem from unmet expectations or frustrations over differences. Acceptance helps reduce these by shifting the mindset from “Why can’t you be more like me?” to “I value who you are, even when we’re different.” This reduces resentment and increases cooperation, making it easier to resolve disagreements.
5. Reflects Christ-like Love
For those who view marriage through the lens of faith, accepting one another reflects the love of Christ. The Bible says in Romans 15:7, “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you.” This kind of love is sacrificial, unconditional, and full of grace. It’s not based on perfection, but on a decision to love faithfully.
6. It Promotes Longevity in the Relationship
Marriages thrive not because partners are perfect, but because they learn to accept and support one another through every season. Acceptance makes it easier to navigate the ups and downs, the changes in health, careers, or dreams, and to remain committed through life’s unpredictability.
In Conclusion
Acceptance in marriage is not passive; it is a deliberate act of love. It requires humility, grace, and a willingness to see your spouse through the lens of compassion. When couples embrace acceptance, they create a marriage that is not only enduring but also deeply fulfilling.
Being single can come with all kinds of emotions. Some days feel okay. I mean, you’re managing things well, staying productive, and maybe even enjoying the space to grow on your own. Other days may feel quiet, slow, or uncertain. Maybe you thought you’d be in a different place by now—career-wise, financially, emotionally, or in your relationships. Maybe you’re wondering when life will finally start making sense.
And when things feel delayed or unclear, joy can feel distant. Not because you’re ungrateful, but because your reality looks different from what you hoped for or expected.
That’s where this verse speaks clearly.
John 15:11 — “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”(NIV)
Jesus said these words to His disciples to remind them that joy wasn’t meant to come from their circumstances but from being connected to Him. He says His joy can be in you, and that it can be complete. Not halfway. Not temporary. But full.
This isn’t about forcing yourself to feel happy or pretending you don’t care about the things you still want. It’s about learning to stay close to God and letting Him be your source of peace and strength in the middle of it all.
The truth is, expectations can quietly steal your joy. You might not even realize it’s happening. You expected to be at that “Place”. You expected something to have happened by now. And when those things don’t happen, it can feel like you’re falling behind. But joy isn’t found in finally reaching the next goal. It’s found in knowing that God is present and involved in your life, even when you can’t see how everything will work out.
Your life isn’t on pause. This season matters. It’s not wasted time. God knows where you are, and He’s still leading you. You don’t have to wait until everything comes together before you allow yourself to experience joy. Jesus offers it now, and He offers it fully.
Janet: So… what are you wearing tonight for your date?
Liz: I’m thinking of that red dress Stephen got me last month. It should work.
Janet: Wait, Stephen? You’ve left him already? I thought you said he was the right person.
Liz:Correction. I didn’t leave him. We’re still in the talking stage.
Janet: Talking stage? Liz, it’s been six months. Are you guys stammering or what?
Liz: laughs. He’s sweet, but… he’s not really my type.
Janet:sighs. I honestly don’t get you sometimes. Stephen’s the fifth “serious” guy I’ve seen around you lately. And now you’re going on a date with someone new?
Liz: That’s why it’s called a date. To figure people out and get to know them.
Janet: Really? Because at this rate, it feels like you still haven’t figured out Jude, Taiwo, Peter, Osas… or Stephen. Honestly, I feel like I need a date with you to understand what’s going on.
Liz: Don’t be dramatic. Jude was too soft. Remember when that bike guy yelled at me? Jude apologized to him.
Janet: He told me you were rude to the guy.
Liz: Even if I was, he could’ve backed me up in the moment and addressed it later. You stand up for me publicly, then correct me privately. I need someone who’s got my back publicly.
Janet: Huh. So I guess Peter’s more your vibe then?
Liz:rolls eyes. peter? He tries too hard. Everything feels like a performance.
Janet: Isn’t that what he’s supposed to do- try?
Liz: Sure, but there’s trying… and then there’s being over-the-top. I want a guy who knows when to show up and when to chill.
Janet:[looking genuinely puzzled]
Liz: Aren’t you gonna ask about Osas and Taiwo?
Janet: Nope. I already know you ghosted them. I’m not even mad, just… I hope things work out with Stephen.
Liz:smiles softly. Thanks.
Janet: But let me say this, girl, you really need to figure out what you want for yourself. Otherwise, you’ll keep bouncing from guy to guy, looking for something that’s not lost in the name of looking for the right person.
Liz:groans playfully. There she goes again with the life coaching.
Janet: I’m just saying. Six guys and counting in under two years? At some point, you’ve gotta ask: maybe it’s not them. Maybe it’s… you.
Liz: I know what I want in a man.
Janet: Okay, but do you know what you want in yourself?
Liz: So… what’s the moral of this little intervention, Dr. Janet?
Janet:laughs. It’s not an intervention. Just girl talk with a sprinkle of truth.
Liz: More like a bucketful.
Janet: Look, dating’s not a crime. Neither is exploring your options. But at some point, you’ve got to stop collecting names and start collecting lessons.
Liz: Oof. That one hit.
Janet: I’m serious. The real glow-up is self-awareness.
Liz: So you’re saying I should take myself on a date first?
Janet: Exactly. Figure out what you want from you; peace, growth, stability, and the right person won’t feel like a puzzle piece you’re forcing to fit.
Liz: So basically, know yourself, show up honestly, and don’t stop growing?
Janet: Now that’s the real red dress energy.
Liz:laughs. Okay, okay. Fine. Maybe I’ll start with dinner… with myself.
Have you ever tried driving a car while staring in the rearview mirror the entire time?
That’s not just unwise, it’s dangerous. The mirror is there to glance at, not to live in. Yet, many of us approach life like that: always replaying past mistakes, heartbreaks, missed opportunities, and wrong choices.
God didn’t design us to live backward. He designed us to move forward, step by step, into the future. He has carefully planned for us.
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?” Isaiah 43:18-19 (NIV)
In order to perceive the new, you must stop dwelling on the old—e.g., a broken relationship, an unwise decision, or a season of regret. The past only has power when we permit it to define us.
Letting go isn’t amnesia or forgetting completely, but releasing. It’s choosing not to be bound by the emotions, the guilt, or the shame of yesterday. You’re in that state where you say, “That happened, but it’s no longer controls me.”
Paul said it beautifully in Philippians 3:13-14 (NLT)
“I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on….”
Paul had a past where he persecuted Christians. But he chose to move beyond his failures into the purpose God had for him. You can too.
Why the Future Needs Your Focus
Your future is fertile ground for God’s promises. There are people you’re meant to bless, ideas you’re meant to build, love you’re meant to receive, and healing you’re meant to carry. But none of that will grow if your mind is stuck in yesterday’s soil.
When you focus on what’s ahead:
You give hope permission to rise again.
You open your heart to love again.
You clear space for God to do something fresh.
Every day is a new page. Stop rereading old chapters. Stop quoting what hurt you and start declaring what God said about you. You are not your past. You are not the mistakes you made. You are becoming who God already sees.
So today, take a bold step:
Look ahead! Trust & again!! Dream again!!!
The best of your story is still unwritten.
Prayer
Father, help me to let go of the past and fully embrace what You have for me. Give me the courage to move forward and the faith to trust in Your plan. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
What does it mean to “always be a man”? In a world where cultural definitions of masculinity are constantly shifting, the Bible provides timeless truths about what it means to embrace authentic manhood. A man’s identity isn’t defined by societal expectations or fleeting trends—it’s rooted in God’s design. Here are five reasons why a man would always be a man, grounded in Scripture and God’s unchanging purpose.
1. A Man Reflects God’s Image
From the moment of creation, men were designed to reflect God’s character and authority. Genesis 1:26-27 says, “Then God said, ‘Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness… So God created mankind in his own image.” Men are called to steward God’s creation with wisdom, strength, and compassion—qualities that mirror the Creator Himself.
Being a man isn’t about conforming to worldly standards; it’s about fulfilling God’s original intent. A man who lives according to God’s design will naturally embody qualities like integrity, humility, and courage.
2. A Man Is Called to Lead with Servant Leadership
Biblical manhood is not about domination but service. Jesus redefined leadership when He said in Matthew 20:26-28, “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant.” A true man leads by example, putting others’ needs before his own and serving his family, church, and community with humility.
Servant leadership reflects Christ’s heart. A man who leads this way creates trust, fosters unity, and leaves a legacy of godly influence.
3. A Man Protects What Matters Most
God has entrusted men with the responsibility to protect their families, communities, and values. This doesn’t just mean physical protection—it includes guarding emotional, spiritual, and relational well-being. Ephesians 6:11 encourages believers to “Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.”
Protection is an act of love. A man who stands firm in faith and shields his loved ones from harm demonstrates strength and devotion.
4. A Man Provides Through Diligence and Faithfulness
A man’s role as a provider isn’t limited to finances—it extends to offering emotional support, spiritual guidance, and unwavering presence. 1 Timothy 5:8 states, “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
Providing requires diligence and sacrifice. Whether through hard work, prayerful leadership, or simply being present, a man fulfills his calling by ensuring the needs of those he loves are met.
5. A Man Lives Out His Purpose with Integrity
True masculinity is marked by integrity—a steadfast commitment to doing what’s right, even when no one is watching. Proverbs 20:7 says, “The righteous lead blameless lives; blessed are their children after them.” A man who walks in integrity builds trust, inspires others, and honors God.
Integrity defines a man’s legacy. When a man lives out his purpose faithfully, he leaves behind a testimony of righteousness that impacts future generations.
Whether you are single or married, life can sometimes feel solo. The reality, however, is that God never designed us to do life alone. When he made Adam, he said it is not good for man to be alone, because he knew the power in partnership. He knew the strength available when you are joined with the right person.
That is why Solomon said;
Ecclesiastes 4:9 (KJV) “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.”
When a man and a woman are going in the same direction, they tend to move faster. However, who you are going with matters a lot. The fact that someone is available does not mean they are compatible, which is why a lot of care should be given in considering who you journey with.
According to the scripture above, it is not just about having a reward, but a good reward, which is where fulfilment comes from.
The bible says if you are joined with Christ, you are one with him. Likewise, you become one with whoever you are joined with physically. So, before you agree to walk down the aisle, are you ready to be one with him or her? Do you see you both fulfilling purpose together? Is this person helping me walk towards God’s plan for my life? If you don’t see it now, you are not likely to see it in marriage.
And if you are already married, are you both moving in the same direction? Are you building together? Is what you are doing likely to give you a good reward? If your answers are in the affirmative, ask yourself: How can I be a better partner to my spouse?
May God help you to be joined with the right person.
Matthew 5:28 (KJV) says, “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” Matthew 5:28, part of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, challenges us to examine the condition of our hearts and minds. It goes beyond outward actions and addresses the inner motivations that shape our behavior.
Here are five key lessons we can draw from Matthew 5:28:
1. Sin Begins in the Heart
Jesus emphasizes that sin isn’t just about physical actions—it starts in the heart. Lustful thoughts are as sinful as committing adultery because they reflect the same internal rebellion against God’s design for purity. Proverbs 4:23 reminds us, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Our thoughts and intentions matter deeply to God.
Be vigilant about what you allow into your mind through media, entertainment, or unchecked thoughts. Guarding your heart is essential for spiritual and relational health.
2. God’s Standard Is Holiness, Not Just Outward Compliance
The Pharisees focused on external obedience to the law, but Jesus calls us to a higher standard—holiness of heart and mind. Adultery isn’t just a physical act; it begins with impure desires. 1 Samuel 16:7 declares, “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” God cares about the purity of our inner lives.
Pursue holiness not just in actions but in attitudes. Regularly ask God to search your heart and reveal areas that need cleansing (Psalm 139:23-24 ).
3. Accountability for Thoughts and Intentions
This verse makes it clear that we are accountable not only for what we do but also for what we think. Allowing lustful thoughts to take root is equivalent to crossing a boundary God has set. 2 Corinthians 10:5 instructs us to “take every thought captive to obey Christ.” Our thoughts have power, and unchecked ones can lead to destructive behaviors.
When inappropriate thoughts arise, immediately redirect your focus to things that are pure, noble, and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8 ).
4. The Importance of Self-Control
Lust thrives when self-control is absent. Jesus calls us to exercise discipline over our eyes and minds. Job 31:1 provides an example of intentional self-control: “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman.” Choosing where to direct our gaze reflects our commitment to honor God and others.
Set boundaries around what you watch, read, and consume. Cultivate habits that strengthen self-control, such as prayer, fasting, and accountability with trusted friends.
5. A Call to Radical Measures Against Temptation
In the verses following Matthew 5:28, Jesus urges drastic action if something causes us to stumble: “If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out… If your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off” (Matthew 5:29-30). While this is hyperbolic language, the point is clear: take radical steps to avoid temptation. Sin has serious consequences, and avoiding it requires decisive action.
Identify triggers or environments that lead to lustful thoughts and remove them from your life. This might mean limiting screen time, installing accountability software, or seeking godly counsel to address deeper struggles.
Words are powerful. They can either build a home or tear it down, heal wounds or deepen them. In relationships, especially marriage, the way we speak — and the timing of our words — matters immensely.
In the heat of an argument, it’s tempting to blurt out whatever comes to mind. But wisdom calls us to pause. Sometimes, the right word spoken at the wrong time can still wound. Timing, just like content, is crucial. A gentle word after emotions have settled can bring healing that a harshly spoken truth could never achieve in the heat of the moment.
A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. Proverbs 25:11 (NKJV)
Marriage is a daily journey of two imperfect people learning to love like Christ, patient, kind, slow to anger. Wise words show respect and understanding. Timely words show self-control and care.
When we listen more and speak thoughtfully, we reflect God’s heart. And in doing so, we create a safe place for love to thrive.
Reflection Questions:
– When was the last time my words brought peace into my marriage?
– How can I practice pausing and praying before speaking during tense moments?
– Am I more concerned with being “right” or being “loving” in my conversations?
Prayer:
Father, help me to guard my tongue and speak words that bring life, not harm. Teach me to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. May my words always be seasoned with grace and timed with wisdom. Let my speech build my relationship and honor you. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Action Step:
Today, before speaking into any sensitive or emotional situation, pause for a moment. Ask God for wisdom and timing. Notice how much difference that small pause can make.
The bible makes us understand that life is filled with seasons, and each season demands a different response. There’s a time to tear and a time to mend. This is a simple statement but yet it carries deep meaning, especially when one is navigating through times of change, heartbreaks, loss, or a transition phase.
“A time to tear and a time to mend.” — Ecclesiastes 3:7 (NIV)
The tearing season can be uncomfortable, but it is often necessary. In Scripture, tearing one’s clothes was a symbolic gesture of grief, repentance, or mourning. It was a way of saying, “This part of me is no longer whole. Something is wrong, and I can no longer ignore it.”
In our lives, there are seasons when we need to tear away parts of ourselves that are no longer beneficial. Sometimes, we need to let go of things like old wounds, unhealthy habits, relationships, or even dreams that no longer align with God’s will. Tearing isn’t about destruction; it’s more like a release. It’s acknowledging that something has to go so that something new can grow.
The process of tearing is not easy. It takes courage. It can be painful, and it might even feel like you’re losing something valuable. Yet, God uses these times of tearing to prepare us for healing and growth. The key is knowing that this act is part of His greater plan—removing what doesn’t serve His purpose in our lives.
But you see, tearing is not the end of the process. The verse also reminds us that there is a time to mend. This part is where God’s grace truly shines. Once something has been torn—whether it’s a part of our heart, mind, or life—God doesn’t leave us in that broken state; rather, He begins the process of mending.
The act of mending is restorative. It’s the slow and steady work of God stitching us back together, restoring the broken pieces. It might take time, and the healing process might not happen overnight, but God’s mending is always thorough and intentional. His restoration goes deep, healing not just the surface but the roots of our wounds.
This mending process often requires us to be patient. God doesn’t rush healing, and neither should we. Sometimes, we want to hurry up and move on, but God uses the time of mending to teach us dependence on Him, refine our character, and prepare us for the next season. It’s also in this mending that we learn the depth of God’s love and faithfulness. He doesn’t just heal our wounds; He makes us whole again, often in ways we didn’t expect.
When we are in a season of tearing, it can be easy to feel hopeless. But remember, tearing is a temporary part of God’s greater plan. In Romans 8:28, we are assured that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” And when God is ready to restore, He will mend. He will repair the things that are broken, whether it’s our hearts, relationships, or dreams.
So all you have to do is trust the process by obeying Him, leaning on His word, and believing. In time, He will make all things new.
I thought love was constant communication: texting every hour, long late-night calls, never giving a breathing space.
But then I learned—love is not obsession. It breathes. It gives space. It respects boundaries.
Communication is vital in love, but love doesn’t choke each other.
I thought love was fireworks. You know, butterflies. That head-over-heels, can’t-eat, can’t-sleep feeling. Uhhhhh, my God! That kind that elicits “God, when o?” “Am I a spoon?” from friends.
But then I realised—feelings can fade. Real love shows up when the butterflies are gone; commitment is the only thing standing.
Yes, love elicits butterflies, but if love is not founded on commitment, it’s never gonna last. Never!
I thought love was someone finally choosing me, so I’d feel valuable. Ehm, don’t blame me. The blame is on low self-esteem. I was immersed in it from the experiences I had in childhood. Well… I sought love to feel valuable.
But then I understood—love doesn’t prove your worth. It recognises it. You don’t need love to feel valuable. You need value to love well.
I thought love meant never arguing, always agreeing, always smiling.
But I discovered—love isn’t the absence of conflict, it’s the presence of grace. It’s knowing how to “disagree to agree,” how to apologise sincerely, and how to grow together. It’s learning that I am on the same team as the one I love.
I thought I knew what love was.
Now I’m unlearning and relearning with God as my teacher.
I’m chasing wholeness. Wisdom. Purpose.
Because I want a love that looks like Christ—selfless, kind, consistent, and strong.
One of the greatest gifts a believer can develop is the ability to see beyond the surface. This spiritual perception is often called discernment. It’s the inner knowing that helps you sense what the natural eyes cannot see and understand what words cannot fully explain.
Hebrews 5:14 says, “But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who because of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.” Discernment grows through spiritual maturity and intentional use. It is not automatic, but cultivated.
In a world where deception can be dressed in beauty and evil can wear the face of good, discernment helps you recognize truth, align with God’s will, and make sound decisions.
The Holy Spirit nudges you when something isn’t right, guides you when a path is unclear, and gives you peace when a decision is divine.
Jesus functioned with spiritual perception. Luke 5:22 says, “But when Jesus perceived their thoughts, he answering said unto them…” He wasn’t guessing; He was spiritually aware.
Discernment helps in relationships, decisions, and spiritual warfare. It shields you from wrong connections and helps you embrace God-ordained opportunities.
Ask God today for a heart that perceives. Pray like Solomon in 1 Kings 3:9, “Give therefore thy servant an understanding heart…”
Also, we don’t just need eyes that see, we need hearts that perceive. What you discern today can protect your destiny tomorrow.
Stay close to the Word, sensitive to the Spirit, for the sharpening of your perception.
I want to take a moment to speak to the women this morning.
A woman often senses who her husband is before the man even realizes it himself. It’s part of how God made them. Women are naturally intuitive. There’s a knowing deep within, long before anything is said or done. But even with that inner knowing, it’s not her place to take the lead or make the first move.
On Kisses and Huggs Club, we do not advocate a woman asking a man out, no matter how convinced you are. You can position yourself, present yourself, but not ask out.
This is because God is a God of order, and that order has purpose. When we step outside of it, confusion tends to follow. The man is designed to pursue; the woman is meant to respond.
Genesis 2:23 (ISV): So the man exclaimed, ‘At last! This is bone from my bones and flesh from my flesh. This one will be called “Woman,” because she was taken from Man.’
The first wisdom here is that it was the man who exclaimed. The man who spoke up. Not the woman. Notice that God didn’t even say anything at that moment. He left it all to the man to recognize what was before him and to respond accordingly.
The second wisdom here is that as soon as Adam saw Eve, he spoke. A man who’s serious about you won’t leave you guessing. He’ll be clear from the beginning. So if you’ve been spending time with a man for a while, and he still hasn’t made his intentions known, it’s worth paying attention to that.
He’s been around, but not stepping forward? That silence speaks volumes.
The third wisdom here is this: Adam recognized Eve as his. He said, “bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh.” That kind of recognition and certainty matters. The person you’re meant to spend your life with should know, without hesitation, that you’re the one.
Yes, as a woman, you need to have peace and conviction about him. But he must be just as convinced about you. If he’s not sure, how can he truly leave his father and mother and fully commit?
The truth cannot be overemphasized. Saying the truth at all times, regardless of the consequences, is a virtue that sets the foundation for lasting relationships. That is why I smile when I see people’s checklists for a marriage partner. You’ll often find: “God-fearing,” “financially stable,” “tall,” “beautiful,” “speaks in tongues,” and so on. But rarely do you find “truthful” or “trustworthy.” And yet, without truth, everything else is at risk.
Integrity is the bedrock of peace in both singleness and marriage. It’s not just about how things are today; it’s about building a life for 30, 50 years, and beyond. Truth keeps the foundation strong. Lies may seem small today, but they ripple out into the future with painful consequences.
To date, some people still don’t believe Jesus rose from the dead. Why? Because a few soldiers were paid to tell a lie
Matthew 28:12-15 [MEV] When the chief priests were assembled with the elders and had taken counsel, they gave much money to the soldiers, saying, “You are to say, ‘His disciples came by night and stole Him away while we weresleeping.’ If this comes to the governor’s ears, we will satisfy him and keep you secure.” So they took the money and did as they were instructed. And this saying has been commonly reported among the Jews to this day.
Their decision not to speak the truth has had eternal consequences for countless lives. Whenever we choose deception, no matter how “harmless” it seems, we are potentially robbing others of their peace, their trust, and even their destiny.
Whether you’re single or married, let truth be your banner. If you’re waiting for a spouse, ask the Holy Spirit to open your eyes not just to beauty or charisma, but to integrity. If there’s a red flag to take seriously, it’s the inability to be truthful.
If you’re already married, let truth guide your home. Don’t allow fear or pride to choke honesty. A marriage where truth is absent is one step closer to decay, no matter how spiritually vibrant it may appear on the surface.
May Godhelp us to love the truth, speak the truth, and walk in integrity.
What’s in Resurrection Power for Relationships and Marriage?
Resurrection power isn’t just a theological concept—it’s a transformative force that can breathe new life into struggling relationships and marriages. The same power that raised Jesus Christ from the dead is available to us today, offering hope, healing, and restoration where brokenness seems insurmountable. But what does resurrection power look like in the context of marriage? How can it mend wounds, revive intimacy, and strengthen your bond as a couple?
1. Overcoming Hopelessness with New Life
When a relationship feels dead or stuck, whether due to betrayal, unresolved conflict, or emotional distance—resurrection power reminds us that nothing is beyond God’s ability to restore, Ephesians 1:19-20 declares, “His incomparably great power for us who believe… which He exerted in Christ when He raised Him from the dead.” Just as God brought life back to Jesus’ body, He can bring vitality and renewal to even the most strained marriages.
How it helps: Resurrection power gives you the courage to face seemingly impossible challenges, trusting that God specializes in making all things new (Revelation 21:5 ).
2. Breaking Strongholds That Bind Relationships
Every marriage faces strongholds—patterns of sin, bitterness, unforgiveness, or pride—that hold couples captive. These chains can feel unbreakable on our own. However, resurrection power shatters these bonds, freeing both partners to walk in freedom and forgiveness. 2 Corinthians 10:4 assures us, “The weapons of our warfare are not worldly but have divine power to demolish strongholds.”
How it helps: Through prayer, repentance, and surrender, resurrection power enables spouses to forgive one another fully and release toxic patterns that hinder their union.
3. Restoring Intimacy and Connection
Intimacy—both emotional and physical—is often the first casualty in troubled marriages. Resurrection power rebuilds what has been lost by renewing hearts and minds. Romans 6:4 says, “We were therefore buried with Him through baptism into death in order to be raised to a new life.” This “new life” includes rediscovering joy, passion, and closeness with your spouse.
How it helps: As each partner allows God to transform their heart, walls of resentment crumble, paving the way for deeper vulnerability and connection.
4. Empowering Sacrificial Love
Resurrection power equips husbands and wives to love sacrificially, just as Christ loved the church. John 15:13 teaches, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” In marriage, this means putting your spouse’s needs above your own and serving them selflessly—even when it’s hard.
How it helps: When both partners embrace this kind of love, fueled by resurrection power, they create an atmosphere of mutual respect and devotion that strengthens the marriage covenant.
5. Healing Past Wounds and Hurts
Many marriages struggle under the weight of past hurts—infidelity, abandonment, or deep-rooted insecurities. Resurrection power brings healing to those wounds, replacing pain with peace. Isaiah 61:1-3 , a prophetic passage about Jesus’ ministry, speaks of binding up the brokenhearted and comforting those who mourn. This promise extends to marriages scarred by hurt.
How it helps: By inviting God into the process, couples experience supernatural healing that human effort alone cannot achieve.
6. Renewing Commitment to Each Other
Marriage vows are promises made before God, but over time, those commitments can waver. Resurrection power renews the marital covenant, reminding couples of their purpose together. Malachi 2:15 emphasizes God’s desire for covenantal faithfulness, saying, “He did not make them to be two, but one.”
How it helps: Couples who lean into resurrection power find renewed strength to honor their vows and persevere through trials.
7. Providing Hope for the Future
Sometimes, the greatest barrier in marriage is despair—the belief that things will never get better. Resurrection power offers eternal hope. Philippians 3:10 says, “I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection.” When couples anchor themselves in this truth, they gain confidence that their marriage can not only survive but thrive.
How it helps: Hope inspires action. With resurrection power at work, couples take practical steps toward reconciliation while trusting God’s ultimate plan.
