Some days, love feels like butterflies. Other days, it feels like a sacrifice. If you think godly love is just about how you feel, you’ll walk away the moment the feelings fade.
The truth is, love that lasts is not always powered by emotion; it’s powered by intention.
Feelings come and go. They rise and fall with mood, stress, seasons, and even hormones. But real love, the kind God talks about, is deeper than that. It shows up when it’s hard. It stays when it’s uncomfortable. It chooses even when it doesn’t feel like it.
1 Corinthians 13 doesn’t say love is a feeling. It says love is patient, kind, not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs. Those aren’t emotions. They’re decisions. Daily decisions.
You won’t always “feel” in love, and that’s okay. What matters is what you do in those moments. Do you still choose to honor? To forgive? To pray for them? To show up? That’s godly love.
You see, culture tells us to follow our hearts. But God says to guard it (Proverbs 4:23). Feelings are unstable in everything, especially in relationships.
Even Jesus didn’t feel like going to the cross. He prayed, “If it be possible, let this cup pass from me” (Matthew 26:39), but love made Him stay. Love made Him choose obedience. That’s what godly love looks like. It’s a decision to honor God even when it’s uncomfortable.
Commitment is the only virtue that will take you further than chemistry, so you won’t always wake up with butterflies. I encourage you to choose love, not just when it feels good, but when it reflects Christ.
You started the relationship with joy. The butterflies were flying, prayers were loud, and everything felt like a dream come true.
But slowly, your devotion to God started fading. Your prayer life grew cold. The fire you once had started burning low, all because of love.
Get on the seat and let’s gist. Look, it’s easy to get so caught up in someone that you forget the One who gave them to you.
Dating was never supposed to pull you away from God; it’s supposed to pull you both closer to Him. Any relationship that weakens your spiritual life is not a blessing; it’s a distraction.
Romans 12:11 says, “Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.” That means even while dating, your fire should still be burning. Your altar should still be alive.
If your relationship is costing you your connection with God, it’s too expensive. Love shouldn’t make you skip devotionals. It shouldn’t make you hide. It shouldn’t silence your convictions. True love doesn’t compete with God.
Don’t fall for the lie that says, “It’s just a season” or “It will get better.” Many have carried spiritual dryness into marriage because they never checked it during dating.
Pray together, yes. Also, pray alone.
Talk about your future, yes. Also, grow in your personal walk.
Love them deeply, but love God deeper.
You don’t have to choose between love and fire. You can have both when the relationship is built on the right foundation.
So, if you feel your fire slipping;
Pause
Reconnect
Return to your first love.
No matter how amazing they are, only God can satisfy your soul. You’re not just dating for fun, you’re dating for purpose, and purpose starts with staying connected to the One who holds it all together.
Why Godly Relationships Require More Than Just Prayer
You’re praying, fasting, and declaring, but the relationship still feels shaky. You keep saying, “God will change him/her,” even though the signs are clear. Prayer is powerful, but prayer alone doesn’t build a relationship.
Yes, God answers prayers, but Godly relationships require effort, wisdom, and responsibility. You can’t pray your way into a healthy relationship while ignoring red flags, poor communication, or a lack of commitment.
Some people are using prayer to stay in what God is trying to rescue them from. Just because you’re praying together doesn’t mean you’re growing together. You can hold hands and still be heading in two different directions.
James 2:17 says, “Faith without works is dead.” That includes relationships. You can’t pray for a godly partner but stay with someone who dishonors your boundaries, mocks your convictions, or refuses to grow. You can’t build something strong if you’re the only one doing the building.
Prayer should not be used to cover dysfunction. It should invite clarity, correction, and confirmation. Godly relationships require communication, accountability, honesty, service, maturity, and action. Not vibes, excuses (God told me you’re my wife) with no follow-through.
Yes, pray, but while you’re praying, also pay attention. How do they treat people? Do they honor your values? Do they have vision? Do they lead with love and responsibility? Stop using prayer to ignore reality. When God brings two people together, He doesn’t just give them emotions; He gives them instructions. Godly love must be nurtured intentionally.
So, keep praying for your relationship, and don’t ignore the work. Set boundaries, communicate, seek counsel, heal, apologize, and grow. Even the best prayers need the right actions. A godly relationship doesn’t just fall from heaven; it’s built with prayer and purpose.
In a world where emotions are easily mistaken for divine direction, it’s important to pause and ask: How do I truly know this is God’s will for me?
Butterflies are beautiful, but they’re not divine confirmation. That quickened heartbeat when they text or the way they make you smile, though exciting, does not automatically mean they’re God’s best for you. Feelings are fleeting; God’s will is founded in truth and peace.
“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9, KJV).
Your emotions can scream “yes!” even when God is gently saying “wait” or “no.” That’s why peace in your spirit is more reliable than the thrill in your chest.
Proverbs 3:6 says, “In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” If it’s truly God, His direction will be clear, not chaotic. His peace will rule in your heart, not anxiety or fear (Colossians 3:15).
You’ll know it’s God when the relationship pushes you closer to Jesus, not away, when purity is protected, not compromised, when conversations are edifying, not manipulative. A relationship led by God will reflect 1 Corinthians 13, which states, patient, kind, honoring, not self-seeking.
God may confirm His will through wise counsel, Scripture, godly mentors, dreams, or even closed doors. Don’t ignore spiritual red flags just because you like the person. Remember, God is not the author of confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33).
Sometimes “the one” won’t fit your list, but they’ll fit your destiny. They will honor your calling, carry God’s grace, and bring out the best in you.
Before you say “yes,” ask: Is this God’s leading or just my longing? Let your emotions be quieted. Allow your spirit to listen. And above all, let God confirm it.
When it’s God, you won’t have to force it. His love story for you will be marked by peace, purpose, and His undeniable presence.
You text first. You call first. You plan the hangouts, say sorry just to keep the peace, and always fight for the connection even when it’s clear they’ve stopped showing up.
Let’s be honest: nothing hurts more than feeling like you’re the only one trying in a relationship that was supposed to be mutual.
Love Wasn’t Meant To Be Begged For
Real love is intentional. It gives, it shows up, it sacrifices on both sides. When only one person is carrying the weight of the relationship, something is fundamentally wrong. You weren’t created to chase someone into loving you back; that’s not love, that’s survival.
In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, love is described as patient and kind, not self-seeking. Notice how these qualities flow both ways. God designed love to be mutual, not a one-person show where you’re constantly proving your worth.
The Reality Check You Need
Stop making excuses when love feels one-sided. Stop making excuses for someone’s lack of effort. If they wanted to text you back, they would. If they cared about your feelings, it would show consistently. Matthew 7:16 reminds us, “By their fruit you will recognize them.” People’s actions—not their occasional words—reveal their true heart toward you.
Amos 3:3 asks, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Healthy relationships require two people moving in the same direction with equal commitment.
You Deserve Better
You deserve someone who chooses you back without confusion, without pressure, without delay. Someone who meets you halfway, prays with you, and values your presence. Ephesians 5:25 shows us that love should be sacrificial and intentional, on both sides.
Permission to Pause
If you’re exhausted from being the only one trying, it’s okay to pause. It’s okay to stop texting first. This isn’t about games but about protecting your heart and seeing the relationship clearly.
God sees every unanswered text, every one-sided conversation. Psalm 56:8 says He keeps track of all your sorrows and collects your tears. Your heart matters to Him.
Sometimes God is trying to pull you out of places where you’re not truly valued. Don’t shrink yourself to fit into someone’s limited capacity to love. Trust that He’s writing a better story, one where love flows both ways.
You’re not too much. You’re simply asking for what love should naturally provide. And that’s not too much to ask for at all.
