How To Choose The Right Person

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Janet: So… what are you wearing tonight for your date?

Liz: I’m thinking of that red dress Stephen got me last month. It should work.

Janet: Wait, Stephen? You’ve left him already? I thought you said he was the right person.

Liz: Correction. I didn’t leave him. We’re still in the talking stage.

Janet: Talking stage? Liz, it’s been six months. Are you guys stammering or what?

Liz: laughs. He’s sweet, but… he’s not really my type.

Janet: sighs. I honestly don’t get you sometimes. Stephen’s the fifth “serious” guy I’ve seen around you lately. And now you’re going on a date with someone new?

Liz: That’s why it’s called a date. To figure people out and get to know them.

Janet: Really? Because at this rate, it feels like you still haven’t figured out Jude, Taiwo, Peter, Osas… or Stephen. Honestly, I feel like I need a date with you to understand what’s going on.

Liz: Don’t be dramatic. Jude was too soft. Remember when that bike guy yelled at me? Jude apologized to him.

Janet: He told me you were rude to the guy.

Liz: Even if I was, he could’ve backed me up in the moment and addressed it later. You stand up for me publicly, then correct me privately. I need someone who’s got my back publicly.

Janet: Huh. So I guess Peter’s more your vibe then?

Liz: rolls eyes. peter? He tries too hard. Everything feels like a performance.

Janet: Isn’t that what he’s supposed to do- try?

Liz: Sure, but there’s trying… and then there’s being over-the-top. I want a guy who knows when to show up and when to chill.

Janet: [looking genuinely puzzled]

Liz: Aren’t you gonna ask about Osas and Taiwo?

Janet: Nope. I already know you ghosted them. I’m not even mad, just… I hope things work out with Stephen.

Liz: smiles softly. Thanks.

Janet: But let me say this, girl, you really need to figure out what you want for yourself. Otherwise, you’ll keep bouncing from guy to guy, looking for something that’s not lost in the name of looking for the right person.

Liz: groans playfully. There she goes again with the life coaching.

Janet: I’m just saying. Six guys and counting in under two years? At some point, you’ve gotta ask: maybe it’s not them. Maybe it’s… you.

Liz: I know what I want in a man.

Janet: Okay, but do you know what you want in yourself?

Liz: So… what’s the moral of this little intervention, Dr. Janet?

Janet: laughs. It’s not an intervention. Just girl talk with a sprinkle of truth.

Liz: More like a bucketful.

Janet: Look, dating’s not a crime. Neither is exploring your options. But at some point, you’ve got to stop collecting names and start collecting lessons.

Liz: Oof. That one hit.

Janet: I’m serious. The real glow-up is self-awareness.

Liz: So you’re saying I should take myself on a date first?

Janet: Exactly. Figure out what you want from you; peace, growth, stability, and the right person won’t feel like a puzzle piece you’re forcing to fit.

Liz: So basically, know yourself, show up honestly, and don’t stop growing?

Janet: Now that’s the real red dress energy.

Liz: laughs. Okay, okay. Fine. Maybe I’ll start with dinner… with myself.

Janet: That’s the best date you’ll ever go on.