It’s just amazing how we are not intentional in curating the right atmosphere for our children to grow in. We end up raising children that will become a pain to us in the future. Listen, the atmosphere in which a child grows is important. A child that grows in an atmosphere of love will be full of love.
A home always filled with anger, shouting, physical abuse, etc. will raise a child who is damaged, regardless of what you tell that child. This is because children learn more from what they see than from what they are told. They learn more from YOUR SHOWING than from YOUR TELLING. If your showing is wrong, just keep your telling to yourself, because it’s your showing that will mold them.
So, what are you showing your kids?
Sometimes we deceive ourselves that children don’t see and know what’s going on. I came bearing new news today: they know! They see! They hear!
Dear husband and wife, what are you playing before your kids? Remember the sheep of Jacob? They eventually gave birth to that which they constantly looked upon (Genesis 30:37-39). As your children behold your relationship with each other, you’re molding something in them and that’s what they will give birth to in their lives. So, your marriage is not just about you and your spouse; it has a great impact on your children.
Dear singles, as you’re searching for a spouse, please have your children in mind. Go for a spouse who will help you in creating the right atmosphere for your children to grow in. Go for a spouse that will be the right example for your children. That man you’re considering, if your son becomes exactly like him, will that be okay? I just said to ask o…
The story of Abraham and Isaac, as they journey together to offer the sacrifice as commanded by God, is instructive. They get to a point in their journey and Isaac asks,
“…Behold the fire and the wood: but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?” Genesis 22:7 KJV
Isaac must have been pondering on this for a long time. I’ve SEEN my father many times make sacrifices. There’s always the wood, the fire, and the lamb. What’s going on here now? Where is the lamb for the sacrifice?
The point is this: Isaac knew the rudiments of a sacrifice because he had been following his dad and watching him. Abraham was SHOWING.
The Song of Songs, a book of love and intimacy, opens with such profound lines that I would love to present to you today.
“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: For thy LOVE IS BETTER THAN WINE.” Song of Solomon 1:2 KJV
This verse captures a strong intimacy between the bride and her groom. There was an intense desire for one another locked up in the hearts of these lovers. This verse should, however, not just be read with the physical sensual passion in mind, but with the wholistic view of intimacy. You can’t even achieve the highest pleasure on the bed as a couple if you are not intimate outside the bedroom. So intimacy goes beyond the activities in the bedroom.
Intimacy is about how he is thoughtful about you and things concerning you. Intimacy is about how you occupy her heart. Intimacy is in those cares and little acts of kindness. Intimacy is in how nothing else competes with you in his heart, where your love is indeed better than wine. Intimacy is in how you look out for one another. It’s in those random calls to say, “I was just thinking of you.”
My dear couples, do you have this burning intimacy between you and your spouse? No? Then it’s something to begin to strongly desire, pray for, and work toward. Marriage was designed for this kind of beauty.
My dear singles, that one professing love for and to you, do you really weigh in his/her heart? Or are you simply a makeshift? Are you Someone he/she is just settling for because age is no longer a friend? Wash your eyes and marry well, my dear.
“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: For thy LOVE IS BETTER THAN WINE.”
Kai… I can’t seem to get over this. There is really something strong going on here.
What the bride was simply saying here is: Our love is intoxicating. Our love for each other is better than any other thing.
Their hearts were strongly locked in desire for one another.
Dear couple, don’t settle for less.
Not by constantly nagging your spouse, but by intentionally becoming an intimate partner while gently nudging your spouse. Plant that random kiss. Send that random text message that says “I care,” or “I’m thinking about you.” Be thoughtful and secretly buy that thing for your spouse and gift him/her.
Dear single, don’t settle for less.
Marriage is meant to be beautiful, so don’t settle for someone who doesn’t value you. Become that person who intentionally loves and doesn’t settle for one who is not. The LORD has someone amazing for you too; but if you don’t break up with the one occupying space, how will you receive the one God has for you?
As we continue reflecting on how we can make our relationships and marriages better in this new year, I wish to show you one key principle that I believe will surely make things better in your life. It’s in the book of Ephesians:
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” Ephesians 4:2-3
This is one verse that shows us that love is not just words (nor emotions), it requires effort. It can be easy to profess love verbally, but can you decide to really ACT IN LOVE this year and beyond? Don’t just SAY LOVE, ACT LOVE. Without corresponding actions of love, our profession of love can easily become like the noise of a clanging cymbal to our person. The Scripture says to be “patient, bearing with one another IN LOVE,” meaning that it is love that produces this action. Love always produces corresponding actions, so don’t just verbalize love, DO love.
“FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE GAVE His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3: 16 NKJV
What is your love making you DO? You need to start asking yourself this question.
Love should make you strive to be a better partner.
Love should make you be patient, and bear with your spouse. For singles, this is not saying you should go ahead and marry someone who is already verbally, emotionally, and physically abusing you even when you are not yet married. To you, I say, “Flee o.”
Love will make you go out of your way to seek the good of your partner.
Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect. Love does not selfishly seek its own honor.
Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong. Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up. 1 Corinthians 13:5-7 TPT
Do you have the DOINGS of love, or is it just the SAYINGS?
Selah.
P.S.:
For singles, don’t just be carried away with the nice words, look beyond… look for the actions.
It’s the beginning of a new year. As usual, energies are high, and spirits are pumped up. Resolutions are made occasionally, with everyone hoping to do better. I’m excited too, but I also know that, like every other year, it’s only a matter of weeks and everybody will return to square 1. Well, not everybody. A few will truly become better and end up having a better year. But the majority? Ehm, I didn’t say anything.
Yesterday, we mentioned that consistency is an important area to grow in. If you don’t grow in consistency you will be among the majority that will drop out before the end of the 1st quarter. I know you don’t really want that. So I will be sharing with you some ways you can remain consistent through the year. Let’s go!
The first is: beyond setting resolutions, set executions. What do I mean by this? Instead of setting resolutions—saying things like I’ll do better in my marriage this year, I’ll grow in my career this year, I’ll read more books this year, etc.—make them executions—specific things you will start doing like I will take my family out every 3rd Saturday of every month, I’ll take so so course by so so time, I’ll read one book every month, etc. What this does is to set your body for action.
Secondly, set structures to ensure you fulfill your executions. Don’t just end at listing them out, set structures that will ensure you do them. It may be as simple as setting a reminder for the beginning of every third week that will remind you of your family outing or as complex as actually looking for the courses you wish to take and registering for them, even if it’s making a commitment payment. How do you seek to ensure you read a book every month? Maybe you can set a particular time for your reading daily. Maybe you can tie it to a habit you already have. Just think, and set structures that will make you do what you have said you will do.
Finally, I would say be accountable. Accountability is one way to ensure you do what you want to do. Sometimes, for some people, desiring to do something doesn’t mean they will end up doing it. So, find someone who can hold you accountable for your executions. Someone who will keep asking you, “How far?” Accountability can even be as simple as voicing out what you want to do to people. Merely saying it to the hearing of others will help make you committed to it. Tell your family members you will be taking them out every third Saturday, and your children will hold you accountable. Hahahaha.
Today is Oil For Today – Day 258. Let’s lift up our voice one more time as we pray to God! Watch Video on Youtube HERE. Check other days HERE.
Scriptures For Today
Oil For Today – Day 258
He drew me up out of a horrible pit [a pit of tumult and of destruction], out of the miry clay (froth and slime), and set my feet upon a rock, steadying my steps and establishing my goings.
Psalm 40:2 AMPC
Prayer Points For Today
Oil For Today – Day 258
2. I declare angelic deliverance from every pit of destruction in the name of Jesus
3. I am rescued from the miry clay; from the slime of sin and deception in Jesus’ name
4. O LORD, steady my steps today; may the feet of my business/career not wobble in Jesus’ name
5. Establish and increase me through the works of my hands O LORD
6. I declare that the favour of the LORD works for me today in Jesus’ name
7. O LORD, rescue me from every enchantment and divination against me in Jesus name
8. I declare that my feet is established upon the Rock; I will not be put to shame!
9. May my light never grow dim nor be put out in Jesus’ name
Confession For Today
Oil For Today – Day 258
In the name of Jesus, I am rescued from destruction. I will not perish in darkness. The light of God floods my life. By the mercies of God, I am coming out of every pit. Every stumbling block on my way is removed. My feet are steady. No shaking, no dilly-dallying. My going out and coming in is established and secured. I release angelic ministrations over my life and destiny today in Jesus’ mighty name, Amen.
