1. He wants you to have a conscious and deliberate relationship with Him evidenced in your consistent time spent in the word and prayers. As a wife in the making, you will be able to derive and draw a lot of strength from the presence of God in other to succeed at the multi-tasking nature of a woman’s role in the house. Spending consistent time in His presence will help you to avoid burn-out and stress. It is in the presence of God you get fresh oil and get rejuvenated to cheerfully attend to your duties as a wife and a mother.
2. He wants you not only to birth children but also to birth miracles, open doors, promotions and everything desired in the place of prayer. A woman is anointed and empowered to birth. God wants you to birth the picture you desire in the place of prayer. As a single in waiting, God wants you to birth the family you desire in the place of prayer.
A woman is like a spiritual factory where miracles can be birthed if the price can be paid. Rather than worry about that issue of delay, cast your care on Jesus and get into the place of your strength, the place of prayer. Pay the price and wait on Him.
3. He wants you to take care of your family by being motherly and caring. God wants you as a woman to strike a balance between your career and motherly responsibilities. At the end of it all, your children would be the greatest legacy you have, so it is important to spend time developing them and nurturing them in the ways of the Lord.
May God grant you more understanding!
What else do you think God wants from you as a single lady/ Let’s hear in the comment section.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY God will guide me in the right path. As a lady, I will not make a mistake.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, I ask that you open my eyes of understanding in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psa 144:12 That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace:
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take an inventory of your life in the light of God’s principles
Life can be tiring. Relationships can become wearisome really fast especially when there have been disappointments after disappointments. Discouragement can creep in so stealthily that it transforms into despondency quickly.
The pain of broken engagements is not good on the heart in any way. Delay in finding the right person can really get any strong person doubting and tired. Entanglement with the wrong persons can make your faith fizzle away that you get to a point of giving up and blaming God.
What do you do at those points when you are so down?
God’s voice reverberates through His words at those moments.
Mat 11:28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
It’s an invitation for you. And it comes with a powerful promise. He will take your labor and whatever it is that makes you heavy laden, and give you rest in its place.
I really love what it says in The Passion Translation
Mat 11:28 “Are you weary, carrying a heavy burden? Then come to me. I will refresh your life, for I am your oasis.
There is a refreshing that awaits you, a refreshing of your life and destiny, a refreshing of your broken heart, a refreshing of your shattered emotions, and guess where that refreshing is coming from?
It’s coming from God because He is your oasis!
How powerful can that be?
Rather than resort to the hate and bitterness which comes as a result of how you have been treated, you can choose to hand it all over to your oasis and you can be sure there will be a refreshing.
It is this refreshing you need to start afresh, to begin again, and to get the best despite what has happened.
Have a wonderful day!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive a refreshing from the oasis
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray for rest
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mat 11:28 “Are you weary, carrying a heavy burden? Then come to me. I will refresh your life, for I am your oasis.
The faithfulness of God never ceases to amaze me. It is beyond every explanation. It is beyond the parameters of cognition. It supersedes the highest of the mountains, the loftiest of the buildings, the grandest of the beauty in nature, and the calmness of the night seasons.
It is a thing to know God is faithful, it is another thing to JUDGE God faithful. Ever thought of that?
The scripture elucidates here;
Heb 11:11 (KJV) Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she judged him faithful who had promised.
Our discourse tonight centers around the verse above. I want you to see it as I see it and as God wants you to see it. The reason Sarah received strength to conceive seed and was delivered was because she JUDGED God faithful!
Oh, how that percolates to very bone marrow!
Can you judge God faithful in your relationship? Can you judge God faithful in that broken relationship and abandoned wedding plans?
Everything about Sarah’s conceiving looked like a mirage, but she JUDGED God faithful.
I now love the Passion Translation!
Heb 11:11 (TPT) Sarah’s faith embraced the miracle power to conceive even though she was barren and was past the age of childbearing, for the authority of her faith rested in the One who made the promise, and she TAPPED into his faithfulness.
Whoa!
Can you dare to tap into His faithfulness today concerning the deepest desires of your heart? Can you tap into God’s faithfulness concerning that brother or sister? Can you tap into God’s faithfulness concerning that issue that looks like delay?
Oh sure, if Sarah did allow the authority of her faith to rest in the one who made the promise, then you can too!
I pray that God grant you more understanding to TAP into His faithfulness!
Be blessed today and always!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I judge God faithful.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Go ahead and tap into the faithfulness of God.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Heb 11:11 (KJV) Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she judged him faithful who had promised.
In those days, when a new bride has been given, the bridegroom will lead her into a hut where their love will be consummated. Everybody will wait outside, expecting the groom, or is it the bride herself now, to bring out a red stained cloth, a token signifying that she was a virgin till her wedding.
Yes, these values and powerful cultural practices are quickly being eroded by civilization cum immorality, we still must raise the standard as children of God.
Our bed must remain green! A green bed signifies a life devoid of sexual immorality and pre-marital compromise.
A green bed is devoid of perversions and all antics that have been invented by the enemy of our soul.
Here is how the scripture puts it
Son 1:16 (KJV) Behold, thou art fair, my beloved, yea, pleasant: also our bed is green.
Let the bed remain green!
Oh yes, I know, a lot of bed have been stained even before the age of accountability, through abuses that emanated from people we have trusted.
The trauma of the past must not be allowed to create a permanent stain on our soul. We must allow the blood of Jesus to remove every red stain and clean up our soul as if we were never stained before.
This is the heritage we have in God. Allow Him to bring forgiveness to you over the perpetrator, that every stain can be removed and your destiny cleaned up for the fulfillment of God’s plan for your life.
Irrespective of the mistakes of the past, you can approach marriage with a green bed, not a stained, ugly distorted bed, for that often comes with bedsheets of stigmatized coverings! Rather allow the blood of Jesus…that will do the ultimate work.
Be blessed today and always!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My bed is green
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help my bed to remain green
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Son 1:16 (KJV) Behold, thou art fair, my beloved, yea, pleasant: also our bed is green.
After God created man, God spoke to him in the very first words ever recorded from God to him. Interestingly and amazingly, God referred to man as “them”
Gen 1:27 (MKJV) And God created man in His image; in the image of God He created him. He created THEM male and female.
God created man. He created them! What is going on here? The reason is that God wasn’t only talking to Adam, He was talking to Adam and all of humanity in his loins. Male and female were both within the loins of Adam and God addressed all of humanity at that moment.
If you are like me, you will want to be interested in the very first words God spoke to Adam and all of humanity. As Adam stood before the Lord, along side with you and me, in huge frame and in the very image of God, here is what happened.
Gen 1:28 (MKJV) And God blessed them. And God said to them, Be fruitful, and multiply and fill the earth, and subdue it. And have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the heavens, and all animals that move upon the earth.
So we see what God did. And He spoke the very first words!
Be Fruitful!
Herein lies the mandate of God over your relationship and eventually marriage.
Fruitfulness does not include broken relationships. Fruitfulness does not include jilting experiences and broken hearts. Fruitfulness does not include abandoned marital promises. Fruitfulness does not include irresponsible brothers or unavailable sisters, who are just out to scam your emotions and make a mincemeat of your emotional health.
Never accept or believe anything less of the mandate of God over your life and relationships. It’s fruitfulness all the way and nothing more! This is what you should embrace. This is what you should believe. And that is what will be your experience. So I declare over you in Jesus name!
Don’t forget to join us daily for a daily Encounter in prayer on “Oil For Today” by 5.30am on Mixlr (khcglobal) and on Instagram (pastordunamis). If you miss that time, we are still live daily on YouTube by 6.00am (Dunamis Tunde Okunowo)
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will fulfill the mandate of God over my life.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to fulfill the mandate
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gen 1:27 (MKJV) And God created man in His image; in the image of God He created him. He created THEM male and female.
Our text this morning comes powerfully shining a spotlight on the very beginning of things.
1Jn 1:1 (KJV) That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands have handled, of the Word of life;
From the text above, there was something or someone which was from the beginning.
Your spouse to be or the person you are about to marry is not just about to be decided by God. He already existed in the mind of God, even before you were born.
Both of you have been “chosen” before you were born! You can now begin to appreciate the scripture which says
Jer 1:5 (MSG) “Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you. Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you: A prophet to the nations— that’s what I had in mind for you.”
You are wondering whether you just read the right words? Oh yes you did! Before your conception, some things have been decided by God!
No wonder most of all what God wants from you is to listen to Him, follow him and follow that divine map!
Psa 81:13 (MSG) “Oh, dear people, will you listen to me now? Israel, will you follow my map?
If that is the case then, can all singles go and rest a while and stop disturbing yourselves about who to marry?
No wonder Adam had to go to “sleep” before Eve showed up.
Could it be that you have ben too “awake,” and you have been trying to do your own thing rather than simply cooperate and follow that which was from the beginning?
Oh, how the reality sets in, powerfully and resolutely, God has it sorted out!
I only need to trust Him and believe Him as the Lord my shepherd who will not lead me wrong!
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, show me what I need to know that I don’t know.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
Having to start your day with asking God for forgiveness daily can be very frustrating, especially when you know you are going to commit the sin again. Self condemnation comes once we violate God’s principles.
This self-condemnation will surface at much unexpected times. Most times, young folks get involved in jeru trip before marriage in order to express their freedom or liberty. In the end, the purpose is defeated, because the very freedom they seek to express will be lost to emotional captivity and slavery. Freedom from a guilty conscience will be gone.
Years ago, a lady sat before me. She was genuinely troubled. She felt God would never forgive her, because she was involved in jeru trip. She wept bitterly. She said she has asked God to forgive her severally and she was not sure God heard her.
Another lady actually lost her mind after indulging in jeru trip because she believed she had committed an unpardonable sin. She couldn’t recognize anybody again. She embraced the devil’s lie that she has committed the unpardonable sin because of the jeru trip. She was talking gibberish and making faces. When we were called (alongside another pastor) upon to pray for her, all our attempts failed until we started to address the issue of guilt by the Spirit of God. As we began to speak to her about God’s love and kindness, that demon left her, she calmed down, sobered up and tears began to flow. It was only then she was restored. It was then she told us what really happened. The negative emotion of guilt is a terrible experience. Guilt can be so real to the point of being suicidal.
When troubles ganged up on me, a mob of sins past counting, I was so swamped by guilt I couldn’t see my way clear. More guilt in my heart than hair on my head, so heavy the guilt that my heart gave out. (Psa 40:12 MSG)
I’m swamped by my bad behavior, collapsed under gunnysacks of guilt. (Psa 38:4 MSG)
You wouldn’t want to live with guilt all your life for violating God’s law. However, no matter how guilty you feel right now; God can always send help if you call upon Him and trust in His Word. That’s the way out. It could be a sin of fornication or adultery or any form of sexual perversion, the blood of Jesus took care of all!
Then I let it all out; I said, “I’ll make a clean breast of my failures to GOD.” Suddenly the pressure was gone– my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared. (Psa 32:5 MSG)
I want you to know that there is a lover of your soul that is different from any lover who might have disappointed you. You might have been disappointed by men, abandoned by men, used and dumped by men, treated shabbily by men…but when you meet the man, He will restore your soul! The Samaritan woman had met so many men…but then when she met the man, the lover of her soul, she couldn’t but express the difference that turned her life around!
Joh 4:28-29 KJV The woman then left her waterpot, and went her way into the city, and saith to the men, Come, see a man…
Respond to God’s love today. Refuse the emotion of guilt! You see the moment you have asked your father to forgive you, He forgives and forgets. The devil tries to bring guilt so that you can feel unworthy and thereby prevent you from coming into God’s presence boldly.
But you see, this issue is a family affair! If your earthly father has forgiven you of an offence, what else can the servant in the house say? You simply tell him to shut up!
That is the way you handle the devil. It’s none of his business. God forgave you, period. Tell the devil to shut up, it’s between you and your father, it’s a family affair and it is settled! He should stop poke nosing. The blood of Jesus handled it already!
If he tries to remind you of your past, remind him of his future, it’s the bottomless pit! Make sure you stop sinning. That is what God does not want, especially continuous and habitual sins. Grace cannot abound when sin continues!
Only hearken to what Jesus said to that adulterous woman caught in the act.
Joh 8:11 KJV… And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.
The fact is that you did something wrong. The lie is that you will never be forgiven. The Truth is that you are already forgiven and it is forgotten! Embrace the truth today and let it set you free! Truth is superior to fact!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse the lie from the devil. I embrace the truth of God’s word.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask that God helps you to see the truth in his word.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psalm 32:5 (KJV)I acknowledge my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah.
God is a God of order. He is a beautiful and loving God. And more importantly, He is an intelligent God. I mean, He has to be the greatest being that has the most intelligence to manage all of humanity in their diverse religion, culture, race, language and dispositions without wiping the brow. That is an extreme intelligence, you will agree!
As a young man in the Primary school, I would often sit at our balcony and stare at the sun imagining who God is and where He is. I would wonder at who gave birth to Him. Then I would consider there was nobody before him which means no parents. So, then where did he come from? And then, after a while, I will just give up!
Today I know He is simply unfathomable! His wisdom is too deep!
Rom 11:33 (AMPC) Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unfathomable (inscrutable, unsearchable) are His judgments (His decisions)! And how untraceable (mysterious, undiscoverable) are His ways (His methods, His paths)!
It is from this perspective of God as an intelligent father that I want you to know that He wouldn’t want or lead you into a marriage that will extinguish your fire!
It can’t be God when you are so full of fire, serving the Lord with Zeal and passion and then you suddenly become your old self because you are now “in a relationship!”
Something is not right! Something is not at par! When it is like that, you really need to slow down and really understand what God in all His wisdom is trying to pass across to you! It calls for you lifting up your voice and praying that God should show you what you don’t know!
Jer 33:3 (MSG) ‘Call to me and I will answer you. I’ll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own.’
A few things to note: 1. Let the leadership of the church be in the know with your decisions. Not with the intent of manipulating you, but to provide counsel relating to your decisions.
2. Don’t join a church for the sole purpose of getting a guy or a lady. Go there because you want to serve God. 3. Serve God genuinely and get busy for Him. When you get busy for God, God will get busy for you. 4. Let the pastor know before you ask a lady for her hand in marriage. It helps you to be orderly about it. In one of the churches where I had pastored, a guy went to propose to a lady who is already married with child. This could have been avoided if he went about it the right way. 5. Before you say ‘Yes,’ tell your pastor about it. Ask questions about him, what he does and where he is coming from. Imagine this kind of conversation:
Lady: Pastor, I will be getting married next month. Pastor: Good. To who? Lady: His name is Buddy Pastor: What does he do? Lady: I don’t really know… I think business. Pastor: Is he born again? Lady: He said so Pastor: Where does he worship Lady: ehmmm…I have forgotten the name of his church Pastor: Is he a worker in his church? Lady: He said he will start after marriage Pastor: Does he drink? Lady: He said he has stopped…. except for small stout for his health.
And so on.
Is this lady doing the right thing? No! You don’t fall in love with strangers! This is why weddings are canceled a few days before the proposed date. 6. Let God guide you, not your feelings alone. Feelings come and go, but God’s word will endure forever. 7. Become friends first. Let it grow. Don’t go and tell somebody you met two hours ago that you are in love. You cannot love somebody you don’t know! There is a difference between love and lust. 8. If a guy in church who is active or who is a leader is asking for jeru trip, disconnect from such a person, or you will soon yield to the pressures. You don’t visit such a person at home! Definitely, something will happen.
For those in courtship, do you find yourself in a situation where you think you might have made a mistake? Well, you need to stop afflicting yourself. What you need to do now is the way forward and not some regretful emotions. Get into a prayerful mode and ask God to intervene. Seek counsel from your pastors and mentors as well. God will surely send help to you and make everything new for you.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not fall in love with the wrong person
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask that God opens the eyes of your understanding
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness. (Psalms 143:10 KJV)
Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness. (Psalms 143:10 KJV)
In deciding who to marry, the singular most important factor is God’s direction. This cannot be traded with the fact that you met in church. Here is a story narrated by a lady some years back. I read the account in a Newspaper (It was either Punch or Daily Sun)
She was going out with a guy that she met in a big Pentecostal church in Lagos. Everything looked good. ‘At least they met in church,’ so she thought. The guy had a jeep and would often drop her for choir meetings and pick her up later. This went on for about six months.
One of those days after choir meeting, he came to pick her as usual. But that particular day, he seemed to be in a hurry. He asked that he needed to dash down to a place before dropping her. That was no issue for her; that was her fiancé talking!
So he drove quite a long distance and just drove and drove.
‘Sorry dear, we are almost there.’
The next thing was that he veered off the road and drove far into the bush. Then he packed, got down, dragged her down and wanted to cut off her head. The girl screamed, but there was nobody to help in the bush. He pressed the knife to her neck hard to decapitate her head, and the lady struggled. She was a little bit strong, she fought back, but the guy held the knife firmly on her neck, knowing she would become weak after losing much blood.
Then, some movements were heard. The guy jumped in his jeep and drove away, with the intention to come back for the head.
Some hunters showed up, but on seeing the sight of the girl, they ran away without offering help. The case could be turned on them.
In a daze, losing blood and already weak, this lady stood up and just began to move in just a particular direction. She got to a particular hut where she got help with herbal care and then she was later moved to town.
Of course, the ‘brother in the Lord’ was nowhere to be found.’ It was from the hospital bed that this lady narrated her ordeal.
You can read about this because she lived to tell her story. How many of these would have happened that the victims never lived to tell the story?
This story is to let you know that meeting a person in church does not automatically translate that you are in God’s will or God’s choice for your life.
You will always be responsible for the choice you make because you will always live with your choice.
There are different kinds of people in the church.
There are sincere people, deceptive people, and deceptive people who want to become sincere. There are newly born again Christians whose minds are not renewed at all. There are Christians who are still very carnal. There are those who are very religious who think being in the choir can insure their habitual sexual compromise. So you see all kind of people.
There are people who come to church not because they want to serve God but because they want a man or a lady.
Tomorrow, I will share with you lessons we can learn from the above story.
Don’t miss it!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not fall in love with the wrong person. I will not be meeting the right person at the wrong place.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask that God will arrange your meeting with the right person
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness. (Psalms 143:10 KJV)
This is the concluding part of our series on what ladies need to know about men before saying ‘I do’.
We have talked about
1. Be ready to massage his ego 2. Be ready to respect him 3. Be ready to satisfy him sexually 4. Be ready to cook for him 5. Be ready to dress for him
6. Be ready to pray for him. Pray for your husband. Don’t let your early years in marriage be characterized with quarrels and hurts and wounds. You will slow yourself down that way. Yes, he is not a good man, he is not caring, he is not loving, she is not submissive, she is not respectful…but you are married! You are one in God’s eyes. You need each other’s agreement; you need each other’s prayers!
Pray for him from the depth of your heart and support him, don’t close up your spirit on him because of some issues…support him. Never open your mouth to curse him; it would be like cursing yourself because you are one!
7. Be ready to help him You are a helper. There are only two people referred to as ‘helper’ in the whole of Genesis to Revelation. That is the Holy Spirit and your wife!
That is why you have been told never to grieve the Holy Spirit and never to be bitter with your wife. That is why you don’t lift your hand against your helper! Ladies, be there to help him succeed. Support his endeavours.
Singles, you help your fiancée when you refuse to compromise. You are not helping him when he says ‘let’s kiss baby, and you too submit your lips for the next two hours like you are submitting a paper in the exam hall! Tell him, if you are hungry, you go by Ponmo or some cow-hide in the market, you ain’t chewing my mouth! These lips are reserved till marriage!
The power of life and death lies in your mouth, you use it to give direction to your life, not for kissing the one you are not married to! After, your marriage, you can do all of that, even for days, and God will still be excited about it!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have wisdom to make my relationship work
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh God, help me to know what I ought to know that I do not know
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 4:7(KJV) Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
Today, we continue on our topic which we started few days back.
We have talked about
1. Be ready to massage his ego 2. Be ready to respect him 3. Be ready to satisfy him sexually
Here we go;
4. Be ready to cook for him Now, this is very important. Food is very important and it is something constant in a family system.
‘Whatever happened to house-helps?’ Yes, they can help, but don’t let them take over the kitchen completely except in situations where you are your husband agree to employ trusted family cooks. But this is not usually the scenario in young families. Not a few ladies have their families disrupted by house-helps who were lured by the man in the house.
Even if the house-help will help in certain times, which is inevitable, try as much as possible to serve your husband yourself. This is very important. By the time you are not always there for days, while a young girl serves your husband, anything can happen if the man lacks self-control or has no fear for God.
While you are still single, don’t leave your mum to do everything, get in there and learn all you can.
Don’t be like the lady who got married and for days they were just eating out. After a while the husband got tired and requested for Amala. (A Nigerian local delicacy) Then trouble began. So the pot of water is on the fire, and she calls her mum to ask, ‘Mum the pot is on the fire now, at what minute do I add the yam powder?
5. Be ready to dress for him This is important as well. You should learn to dress for your husband at home. Why is this important? Men are moved by sight. They are moved by what they see, including anointed men and apostles and popes!
Don’t be like a lady who is so busy tied up in a wrapper and that was the last picture her husband saw before leaving for work. By the time he comes back, she is back in the wrapper trying to get food ready! Meanwhile, at work, he is accosted by this delectable, adorable and impeccably dressed secretary every morning who is saying ‘I am available’ with her body language! If the guy doesn’t’ know what he is doing or is brainless like Message translation says concerning adultery, he will simply mess up.
I don’t like wrappers and my wife doesn’t like it as well. So unromantic! It is not a sin to wear a lingerie at home! Dress cute for your husband at home and learn to set him in the mood. He likes that, he may not verbalize that, but I am helping him to do that now.
Singles, watch what you wear to your fiancée’s house. Don’t kill the guy; let him fulfill destiny! You are going to see him so that you can pray together by 9.00pm in a mini skirt that has a slit! How will the guy pray? The eyes will be turning red, the tongues will change and you will think it is the anointing? Nay, he is suffering and his tongues is probably, ‘O Lord deliver me from what I see with my eyes!’
When they David saw Bathsheba taking her bath, a seed for adultery and murder was sown. When Samson saw a harlot, he went in unto her. He saw another lady, and he could not speak correctly again, he told his father,
‘Get her for me to wife!’ Check it out in your Bible!
Men can lose their temper, temperature and temperament altogether when they see a beautiful lady!!! Men, can you bear me witness?
What other things do you need to know before saying I do?
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I know the things to do to advance my life
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for wisdom to know the things to do.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 4:7(KJV) Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Write down the things you are learning.
Ok, I promised to continue from where we left off yesterday and I will keep to my promise as some new topics are screaming at me right now. Yesterday we looked at the first two things that are very important before you say ‘I do’, which are
1. Be ready to massage his ego 2. Be ready to respect him
We still have five more points to go.
3. Be ready to satisfy him sexually 4. Be ready to cook for him 5. Be ready to dress for him 6. Be ready to pray for him. 7. Be ready to help him
Today we continue from the third one.
3. Be ready to satisfy him sexually You and I know this is very important right? But here are few things about that. Now, talking to married couples first, I want to tell wives, if it is possible, try as much as you can to always satisfy your husband sexually. It is the number one preventive for an adulterous lifestyle. I am not trying to justify any man’s recklessness in his family, but I am saying a few things can be guard against.
Young wives, you need to know that jeru trip is not a tool for punishment or reward. When he is nice and has bought something for you, you cooperate with him. When he has not been nice, you start singing ‘my head, my shoulder, my knees, my toes, they all are paining me! That is not fair!
Well, the scripture admonishes couples, ‘defraud ye not one another!’ The scripture calls it fraud when you deny one another without genuine reasons! And really, genuine reasons should only come up once in a while!
Why is jeru trip so important to men? It is because of their wiring, it is not their fault. However, the scripture makes it clear that a sexual relationship should only be with your spouse, not with a colleague or somebody you met in a one-nightstand somewhere! The consequences of adultery are debilitating. It comes with agony and regrets!
If you are not enjoying it as a wife, you should let your husband know so that you can find ways to resolve that. It is not right to keep rebuffing his advances because ‘you are not enjoying it!’ You should be enjoying it to the fullest because one of the reasons why God made jeru trip is pleasure. There could be many reasons why you don’t enjoy it and you might need to see a trusted counselor together (never alone) who can keep your issues confidential.
If you feel your husband rushes you and is never patient, teach him and lead him gently until he learns to wait for you. I would have gone deeper on this, but singles are reading this too, so I don’t want to ‘afflict’ their souls! Lol.
Let him know areas you would want him to touch. Every man ought to know every lady needs an average of twenty minutes to be fully ready! So ladies, when you notice your husband has been reacting, withdrawing, getting angry at little things, getting irritated at almost everything, complaining about what he used to ignore, check out whether you have been refusing his advances and his ego is not allowing him to ‘beg’ for it. It is actually not a good place for any man to be because a sexually starved man is capable of messing up anytime!
Protect your marriage by enjoying each other and never denying each other. For a lady, it is more than a physical workout, it is an emotional thing for her, so when she is hurt, she may not be able to release herself. This is why it is important to forgive easily and let go…because you are still one! It is also why you should treat your wife gently and be caring!
For the singles, I mentioned some things yesterday. You are not to satisfy anybody until after you say I do, which is in marriage. You can put forth all kinds of lame excuses why it should happen but that is not God’s order. If you are going to have God’s support, favour, and help in this life, then you had better do it God’s way. And I really don’t think anybody wants to live without God’s support, favour, and help in this life. Those are what would distinguish and make a difference in your life.
If as a married couple, you are already involved with adultery or with pre-marital sex as a single, it is never too late to ask God for forgiveness and turn around in your ways. That is how not to delay yourself or slow yourself down.
Conclusively, you will never be able to ‘insure’ any relationship or ‘keep’ a man through compromise. Your body is not a commodity to trade; it is the temple of the Holy Ghost! Respect your body and don’t trade it around because God puts a lot of value on your body and on your person!
To be continued tomorrow.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the wisdom to make my relationship work
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask that God will give you wisdom.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 4:7(KJV) Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
1. Be ready to massage his ego Every man has an ego. It is part of him and that is what makes him a man. He needs that ego to survive and to be the best he can be. While I don’t subscribe to men who are overly egocentric and who manipulate their fiancées or wives as a result, I know that as a lady you should be ready to stroke that ego and not crush it. If you keep on crushing a man’s ego, you will keep seeing the other side of him that is not really nice! How do you crush a man’s ego?
Let me give you a sample. You and your husband are dining alongside another couple. The other lady goes like, ‘one thing I like about my husband is that he is so patient with me, always available to even help me out in the kitchen most times” And then, you go like, “You are so lucky! My own husband? He is so lazy and behaves like an impatient drone. Rather than for him to help me out in the kitchen, he prefers to sit down playing cards with little kids like a deranged man. I wish he is like your husband…you are so lucky o.”
This looks like an extreme example, but anything like this, you have just finished the man, and he would look for ways to finish you as well because you just crushed his ego publicly! A man’s ego is so important to him that even if you try crushing it in privacy when you are alone, he will react immediately, not to talk of openly. It is not the way to go.
2. Be ready to respect him Respect is a major issue for men. So major that they are not ready to compromise in that area. So make up your mind to respect and be submissive to your husband if you really want to enjoy your marriage. Interestingly, the more submissive you are, the more he will listen to you eventually, and the more you will be able to influence him.
If you are a lady, and your song is ‘he never listens to me,’ I can tell you what is happening. Somewhere in his mind, he believes you are disrespectful.’ So any attempt to make contributions he flares up! Do you know why? He sees your contributions as trying to usurp his authority and he shuts you down or ignores you. When you find yourself in this kind of situation, rather than fight back or withdraw in frustration, try making adjustments in how you respect him, even in your choice of words and tone of voice, it all matters.
But Pastor, he doesn’t love me, why should I respect him? The instruction in Ephesians 5 is not a 50-50 contract. It’s 100% instruction. You are not to respect him because he loves you. You are to submit to him because he is your husband. The same goes for men, you don’t love your wife because she respects you, you are to love her because she is your wife. When couples start seeing it this way, they will be amazed at the changes that will take place in their marriage!
Now, listen to this, if you are so independent and you are not ready to respect and submit to your husband, you are not ready for marriage! It doesn’t matter whether you earn more than him or whether you are more traveled, he remains the head of the house. There cannot be two heads in the house, any two-headed creature is a monster. This is how God instituted it, and that is how it is going to work. But sincerely, in an atmosphere of love, the wife does not need to be shouted upon, ‘I am the head of the house!’ Like somebody said, the moment you have to keep screaming that, you have just lost the headship!
For singles in courtship, here is what you need to know. Never ever try disobeying God in any way because you want to respect your fiancé. For example, he asks you to come over and spend the weekend with him while you are not yet married. You have every right to disagree on that because you and I know what that would lead to. In fact, you need to review any kind of relationship where the guy is putting pressure on you for pre-marital sex. So, in your
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the wisdom of God. I know how to make my relationship work
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask that God will help you to know what to do per time.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 4:7(KJV) Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
Sandy and Bobby have been married for only seven months and yet Sandy is completely frustrated.
‘I will never be able to please this man. I don’t understand him. I thought we courted and I knew him.’ Their marriage has been characterized with daily quarrels, anger tantrums, and bitterness towards each other. Sandy doesn’t know what to do again because according to her, ‘this man doesn’t really love me!’
What was Sandy’s issue? She went into marriage not knowing who a man is! She was involved in jeru trip and that distracted her from the real preparation of the heart. Part of the preparation of the heart is to read wide, study hard, ask questions, stay under mentors, and so on.
Every man, whether he is born again or not has some peculiarities. When he has a relationship with God, has the fear of God and his mind is renewed, he is better able to handle these peculiarities.
Unfortunately, most ladies walk down the aisle in sheer ignorance of some of these peculiarities and after a few months, they really want to retrace their steps and walk up the aisle and out of the marriage.
If you are still single, these are some of the things you should know and probably read more about. This is what we try to achieve by God’s Spirit on KHC, if you can follow these devotionals, which are inspired by the Spirit of God, and you can follow the instructions passed across, you will succeed in your marital endeavors.
Why do I say that? That is the grace and unction upon the ministry, to raise a standard, to set things aright in courtships, and to restore dying marriages.
What are these peculiarities? The list is not exhaustive, but these seven are the pertinent ones.
1. Be ready to massage his ego 2. Be ready to respect him 3. Be ready to satisfy him sexually 4. Be ready to cook for him 5. Be ready to dress for him 6. Be ready to pray for him. 7. Be ready to help him
Tomorrow, we will pick these seven issues one by one.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the wisdom to make my relationship work
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask that God will give you wisdom.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 4:7(KJV) Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
Sister Faith was spiritual! While on campus, she was everywhere. From prayer group to the Choir and then the missions, she tirelessly served God and it was obvious God’s hands were upon her. She counseled younger ladies, prayed for them, and ensured new converts were established in the fellowship. The fellowship missed her like “Mississippi” when she left.
At the one-year national orientation camp, the fire continued to burn, but not for long! The news soon filtered, she got involved in a relationship with someone who is not born again. All the attempts of other ‘brethren’ to stop her were futile. In later years, she was not happy. Her rich husband would not allow her to work or serve God. She became a permanent housewife, disappeared from church, and later entered into depression. Needless to say, she did not enjoy her marriage.
The question of destiny! This one cannot be over-emphasized. As singles, you cannot be involved with a man or woman that has no sense of destiny in God! In these days, and for whatever reason, you should not go into a marriage with someone that will hinder or stop your relationship with God. There are dream killers and destiny destroyers. When you marry such people, whole destinies can be swallowed up.
I feel like I’ve got a trumpet in my mouth to sound a warning to this generation about emotions and sexuality. You see, God cannot be mocked! Marriage is not what you fall into like a lamb being led to the slaughter because you are in love. Marriage comes with pressures, and those pressures are amplified when you get married to someone with no sense of destiny.
With marriage, dreams can come alive, and dreams can die, literally vapourize until you become a shadow of yourself. With marriage, the heavens can be opened, and with it, the heavens can also become iron. With marriage, you can move to your next level in God and you can be reduced to the level of your partner. With marriage, you can enter into unbelievable rebellion and bite the fingers that fed you, and you can honour those who have contributed to your life positively. With marriage, you can find your rhyme, come alive with hidden gifts bursting out into manifestation and divine expressions, and gifts can also be wrapped up and buried in the tomb of unbelief and depression.
Why is marriage that powerful? You see it is a covenant. In the book of Proverbs, the Bible says God’s word will keep you away from evil men and strange women. So, there are evil men and strange women. There are Delilahs whose mission is to destroy. There are Jezebels whose mission is to use you. There are Samsons who are anointed but are full of lust and will not mind sleeping with you before marriage and then preach the next day. There are Herods who don’t see anything in killing infants and will take to abort over and over.
In marriage, destinies are wedged together. Like the dog whose jaws are locked when it bites, there are people you kiss and your jaws are locked. In marriage, blessings and afflictions become intertwined and your issues become his\her issues.
Psa 92:1-2 KJV It is a good thing to give thanks unto the LORD, and to sing praises unto thy name, O most High: To shew forth thy lovingkindness in the morning, and thy faithfulness every night,
I love this scripture a lot! It is a good thing! What do you do that translates into a good thing?
There are four things mentioned.
To give thanks unto the Lord
Sing praises unto God’s name
To show forth His loving kindness in the morning
To show forth His faithfulness every night
It is good as a child of God to learn to do these daily! Why must we do these? It’s because it is good to do them. Just like when you say it is good to eat good food. It is good to have your bath…the same way, for your spiritual health, for your victory in life; it is good to these things.
Rather than complain about your partner, give thanks unto the Lord. Rather than nag at him, give thanks unto the Lord. Rather than sulk over being jilted or abandoned, give thanks unto the Lord.
Then it says, sing praises unto God’s name. You don’t need to be on key to do that. You can even sing along with your tab or phone.
Rather than listen to Lady Gaga or Beyonce, sing praises unto God’s name. Rather than sing some secular songs whose lyrics are negative, sing praises unto God’s name!
Then, learn to shew forth His lovingkindness in the morning! How do you do that?
Message translations says:
Psa 92:2 MSG To announce your love each daybreak…
Common now! You show forth His loving kindness by announcing His love each morning! You’ve got to come to a place in God where you refuse to wake up with some heaviness because of what happened the previous day or what is ahead of you in the new day. You see, praising God is not what you do with how you feel or you will not be able to do anything. Refuse to wake up into some sad state of heart. Refuse to wake up on the wrong side of the bed. I have checked my bed severally and I also told my wife to check, there is no wrong side! Both sides of the bed are right sides; whichever side I wake from, I am good to go! You see, our bed is laid with the sheets of praise! It’s got to be good!
In the morning, the first thing to do is not to hiss and shake your head in some regrets! Stop waking up with a frown. Did someone fight you in your dream? Learn to praise Him like your life depends on it because your life depends on it!
Finally, it says, to show forth His lovingkindness in the night! Every night! That is what it says! Don’t let the last thing you do in the night be listening to News or watching some Home videos that can break homes! Don’t fall asleep on some music that can dirty your spirit.
One translation of that verse says
Psa 92:2 BBE To make clear your mercy in the morning, and your unchanging faith every night;
Ruminate and meditate on that unchanging faith of God every night! Never lose hope. Hold on to God’s word and believe that the following day will be your day!
You see, when you consciously and deliberately learn to start and end your days like these, it does something to you. It positions you in a place where you are strategically ready for what God wants to do in your life. It helps you to cooperate with God’s plan for your life!
When you learn to do these daily, there are two things that will happen in your life.
Psa 92:10, 12 AMP But my horn (emblem of excessive strength and stately grace) You have exalted like that of a wild ox; I am anointed with fresh oil. The [uncompromisingly] righteous shall flourish like the palm tree [be long-lived, stately, upright, useful, and fruitful]; they shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon [majestic, stable, durable, and incorruptible].
In verse 10, your strength will be exalted. Your productivity will be maximized. Your result will be assured. Your victory will be certain.
In verse 12, you will flourish. You will succeed. You will grow and expand. You will be durable and incorruptible!
Get ready for some victory as you listen to GOD on this, as you start your day with Him and end with Him. Before you do this for long, you will surely see the hands of the Lord on not just your relationship and marriage, but in your business and every area of your life!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will praise God in the morning and in the night. I will not give in to depression. My victory is ascertained.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh God, teach me how to praise you all day long and have victory.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY O Lord, how great are thy works! and thy thoughts are very deep (Psalms 92:5 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to praise God today
4. She will come after you and then bring you into her territory or space for maximum control
I have decked my bed with coverings of tapestry, with carved works, with fine linen of Egypt. I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning: let us solace ourselves with loves (Proverbs 7:15-18 KJV)
She had a plan all the while. She is a planner when it comes to the strange lifestyle. She will go to any extent to get what she wanted. She knows what gifts to buy to weaken the man’s resolve. She is sometimes much older and she uses her money and influence to control her prey!
The modern day “sugar mummy” is a strange woman! Run from a strange life lest strange things begin to happen! The student involved with an “aristo” is also a strange lady!
5. She is an adulterer
For the goodman is not at home, he is gone a long journey: He hath taken a bag of money with him, and will come home at the day appointed (Proverbs 7:19-20 KJV)
Any opportunity when her husband is not around is an opportunity for her to go wild. She does not mind bringing men into her matrimonial home!
I have seen it too many times, the husband is a business man in Japan or Italy, leaves the wife in Nigeria, and she simply has a man that comes into her matrimonial bed daily! While it is not good for a man to abandon his wife for months in the name of business, there is also something strange when a woman can lie, hide, be deceptive and sleeps with other men apart from her husband for whatever reasons.
I tell singles all the time, it starts as a single. The moment you can combine more than one relationship, one in Nigeria, the other in UK, or one in Lagos and the other Abuja, deceiving both sides and promising both a marriage union, there is something really strange about that.
Such lifestyles culminate in agony at the end. It is always good for you to live your life God’s way and you know what, God does not condemn you but simply wants your repentance.
God will strengthen you as you resolve to do what is right.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not fall into the trap of the strange woman.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, deliver me from the strange woman.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY For the goodman is not at home, he is gone a long journey: He hath taken a bag of money with him, and will come home at the day appointed (Proverbs 7:19-20 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Are you noticing strange behaviours in the life of someone around you? Take action now.
So she caught him…That is a language used when you set a trap and you catch a prey, isn’t it? You see when you are locked up in the embrace of a strange woman; with a woman who is not your spouse and yet will not leave you alone, you have been caught!
You might think you are a good toaster, but nay, you have been caught! You might think you are having some free stuff, but you have been trapped. That is why the Bible says, “she caught him!”
The word “caught” in literal Hebrew is interesting. It is “Chazaq” which means to “fasten upon,” “seize,” “to bind,” amongst other meanings. The next time you are entangled in bed with a strange woman, you are not a champion; you are a prey!
2. Her seduction tactics are aggressive
… and kissed him (Proverbs 7:13b KJV)
She doesn’t waste time and there is no time for rapport. The strange woman will gladly offer her body in one-night stands, with strangers in public toilets and anywhere in exchange for money.
3. She is stubborn and resilient in her seduction
…and with an impudent face said unto him, I have peace offerings with me; this day have I payed my vows. Therefore came I forth to meet thee, diligently to seek thy face, and I have found thee (Proverbs 7:13-15 KJV)
A strange woman will not give up easily. Do you remember Delilah? She vexed Samson until she got what she wanted. When a guy begins to offer some lame excuses saying, “I never wanted it even for once, she was always the one intimacy…well, you are gone! If you were offered Rice cooked with rat poison, and you know, would you eat it and say it was because she served you?
Tomorrow, I will give you more signs of the strange woman. Don’t miss it.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not fall into the trap of the strange woman.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, deliver me from the strange woman.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY For the goodman is not at home, he is gone a long journey: He hath taken a bag of money with him, and will come home at the day appointed (Proverbs 7:19-20 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Are you noticing strange behaviors in the life of someone around you? Take action now.
She is a “talk” person, not to be muted! This is very crucial and your understanding of this will save you a lot of marital squabbles.
Allowing her to express herself without fear, trepidation, and inhibition is allowing her to be all that God has created her to be. Allowing her to be all that God has created her to be is fulfillment and prosperity for her and for you eventually.
The greatest misfortune that can befall a man is living daily with a frustrated wife. When she is not allowed to express herself, she would begin to internalize. The more she internalizes, the more it can really become dangerous and you will not be happy about that.
It’s been said that an average man speaks about ten thousand words in a day. But an average woman speaks about twenty-five thousand words daily! By the time the husband returns from work, he has probably exhausted his quota of ten thousand words at work, with colleagues, with friends, and over the phone.
By the time the wife comes back from work, she probably would have done about ten thousand words as well. But, you see, she still has about fifteen thousand words bubbling in her entrails that she wants to unleash on her husband, children, and anybody available.
Now, this is the reason all the man wants to do is eat, listen to the news, check emails, have Jeru trip, and sleep! This is also the reason why your wife wants to talk a lot and explain a lot of things that the husband deems unnecessary!
So when a man asks his wife, “how was work today?” Bam! That question will be well answered with every detail of what happened since she drove out in the morning while the husband is wondering, ‘Why did I ask this question. What did I ask, what am I hearing?” You need to understand this need of ladies.
It is also the reason why many husbands doze off while the wife keeps talking. And then she asks, “Are you sleeping already,” and you tell a “holy” lie, “no I am listening, dear!” Now, it becomes even more intense when your wife has not started work or she is a housewife! My God, the words are piling up, day in day out, they are being carried over!
This is why as a man, you should sit down with her and talk to her deliberately. Ever wondered why some ladies would be in a relationship with drivers, cooks, and gardeners, and so on, well the reason is obvious. They need to talk and they talk with whoever gives a listening ear. This is why you also need to avoid strife like a plague in your matrimonial home. If you have not been talking to your spouse for days or weeks, that can be dangerous. You are inflating her vulnerabilities because she will find somebody else to talk to, and God forbids that the allegiance shifts!
But what if she offended me and she is wrong? Well, end the strife first, even when you have to apologize for what you didn’t do, then after that, you can discuss intelligently. Ladies are to note, however, that expression of yourself in your matrimonial home as healthy as it is has boundaries. When you cross the line to the dangerous milieu of “Nagging” it can be very counter-productive!
Talking with your husband is different from nagging him! As singles, if you are being muted already, something is not quite right. If communication is defective, slow down and find out why rather than ignore all the symptoms and rush into marriage only to discover it is a mistake!
Singles, never say to your fiancé/fiancée these two words: “Shut up!”
If a lady “shuts up for you and you think you won, you are joking!” Ever seen molten magma before? That is what it is like when a woman shuts up every time. The day the volcanic eruption comes forth, it can be disastrous. Be wise, keep the communication line open. Stop saying you are busy and that is why you have not called her in one week! What is your phone meant for? When you love a person, you want to talk with that person! Single ladies, there is a difference between courting a guy and courting disaster.
When a guy has not called you once in three months, the truth is that you are not in a relationship. Move on with your life, be happy, develop new friendships, and don’t allow anybody to keep your life suspended.
