Having to start your day with asking God for forgiveness daily can be very frustrating, especially when you know you are going to commit the sin again. Self condemnation comes once we violate God’s principles.
This self-condemnation will surface at much unexpected times. Most times, young folks get involved in jeru trip before marriage in order to express their freedom or liberty. In the end, the purpose is defeated, because the very freedom they seek to express will be lost to emotional captivity and slavery. Freedom from a guilty conscience will be gone.
Years ago, a lady sat before me. She was genuinely troubled. She felt God would never forgive her, because she was involved in jeru trip. She wept bitterly. She said she has asked God to forgive her severally and she was not sure God heard her.
Another lady actually lost her mind after indulging in jeru trip because she believed she had committed an unpardonable sin. She couldn’t recognize anybody again. She embraced the devil’s lie that she has committed the unpardonable sin because of the jeru trip. She was talking gibberish and making faces. When we were called (alongside another pastor) upon to pray for her, all our attempts failed until we started to address the issue of guilt by the Spirit of God. As we began to speak to her about God’s love and kindness, that demon left her, she calmed down, sobered up and tears began to flow. It was only then she was restored. It was then she told us what really happened. The negative emotion of guilt is a terrible experience. Guilt can be so real to the point of being suicidal.
When troubles ganged up on me, a mob of sins past counting, I was so swamped by guilt I couldn’t see my way clear. More guilt in my heart than hair on my head, so heavy the guilt that my heart gave out. (Psa 40:12 MSG)
I’m swamped by my bad behavior, collapsed under gunnysacks of guilt. (Psa 38:4 MSG)
You wouldn’t want to live with guilt all your life for violating God’s law. However, no matter how guilty you feel right now; God can always send help if you call upon Him and trust in His Word. That’s the way out. It could be a sin of fornication or adultery or any form of sexual perversion, the blood of Jesus took care of all!
Then I let it all out; I said, “I’ll make a clean breast of my failures to GOD.” Suddenly the pressure was gone– my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared. (Psa 32:5 MSG)
I want you to know that there is a lover of your soul that is different from any lover who might have disappointed you. You might have been disappointed by men, abandoned by men, used and dumped by men, treated shabbily by men…but when you meet the man, He will restore your soul! The Samaritan woman had met so many men…but then when she met the man, the lover of her soul, she couldn’t but express the difference that turned her life around!
Joh 4:28-29 KJV The woman then left her waterpot, and went her way into the city, and saith to the men, Come, see a man…
Respond to God’s love today. Refuse the emotion of guilt! You see the moment you have asked your father to forgive you, He forgives and forgets. The devil tries to bring guilt so that you can feel unworthy and thereby prevent you from coming into God’s presence boldly.
But you see, this issue is a family affair! If your earthly father has forgiven you of an offence, what else can the servant in the house say? You simply tell him to shut up!
That is the way you handle the devil. It’s none of his business. God forgave you, period. Tell the devil to shut up, it’s between you and your father, it’s a family affair and it is settled! He should stop poke nosing. The blood of Jesus handled it already!
If he tries to remind you of your past, remind him of his future, it’s the bottomless pit! Make sure you stop sinning. That is what God does not want, especially continuous and habitual sins. Grace cannot abound when sin continues!
Only hearken to what Jesus said to that adulterous woman caught in the act.
Joh 8:11 KJV… And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.
The fact is that you did something wrong. The lie is that you will never be forgiven. The Truth is that you are already forgiven and it is forgotten! Embrace the truth today and let it set you free! Truth is superior to fact!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse the lie from the devil. I embrace the truth of God’s word.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask that God helps you to see the truth in his word.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psalm 32:5 (KJV)I acknowledge my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah.
God is a God of order. He is a beautiful and loving God. And more importantly, He is an intelligent God. I mean, He has to be the greatest being that has the most intelligence to manage all of humanity in their diverse religion, culture, race, language and dispositions without wiping the brow. That is an extreme intelligence, you will agree!
As a young man in the Primary school, I would often sit at our balcony and stare at the sun imagining who God is and where He is. I would wonder at who gave birth to Him. Then I would consider there was nobody before him which means no parents. So, then where did he come from? And then, after a while, I will just give up!
Today I know He is simply unfathomable! His wisdom is too deep!
Rom 11:33 (AMPC) Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unfathomable (inscrutable, unsearchable) are His judgments (His decisions)! And how untraceable (mysterious, undiscoverable) are His ways (His methods, His paths)!
It is from this perspective of God as an intelligent father that I want you to know that He wouldn’t want or lead you into a marriage that will extinguish your fire!
It can’t be God when you are so full of fire, serving the Lord with Zeal and passion and then you suddenly become your old self because you are now “in a relationship!”
Something is not right! Something is not at par! When it is like that, you really need to slow down and really understand what God in all His wisdom is trying to pass across to you! It calls for you lifting up your voice and praying that God should show you what you don’t know!
Jer 33:3 (MSG) ‘Call to me and I will answer you. I’ll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own.’
A few things to note: 1. Let the leadership of the church be in the know with your decisions. Not with the intent of manipulating you, but to provide counsel relating to your decisions.
2. Don’t join a church for the sole purpose of getting a guy or a lady. Go there because you want to serve God. 3. Serve God genuinely and get busy for Him. When you get busy for God, God will get busy for you. 4. Let the pastor know before you ask a lady for her hand in marriage. It helps you to be orderly about it. In one of the churches where I had pastored, a guy went to propose to a lady who is already married with child. This could have been avoided if he went about it the right way. 5. Before you say ‘Yes,’ tell your pastor about it. Ask questions about him, what he does and where he is coming from. Imagine this kind of conversation:
Lady: Pastor, I will be getting married next month. Pastor: Good. To who? Lady: His name is Buddy Pastor: What does he do? Lady: I don’t really know… I think business. Pastor: Is he born again? Lady: He said so Pastor: Where does he worship Lady: ehmmm…I have forgotten the name of his church Pastor: Is he a worker in his church? Lady: He said he will start after marriage Pastor: Does he drink? Lady: He said he has stopped…. except for small stout for his health.
And so on.
Is this lady doing the right thing? No! You don’t fall in love with strangers! This is why weddings are canceled a few days before the proposed date. 6. Let God guide you, not your feelings alone. Feelings come and go, but God’s word will endure forever. 7. Become friends first. Let it grow. Don’t go and tell somebody you met two hours ago that you are in love. You cannot love somebody you don’t know! There is a difference between love and lust. 8. If a guy in church who is active or who is a leader is asking for jeru trip, disconnect from such a person, or you will soon yield to the pressures. You don’t visit such a person at home! Definitely, something will happen.
For those in courtship, do you find yourself in a situation where you think you might have made a mistake? Well, you need to stop afflicting yourself. What you need to do now is the way forward and not some regretful emotions. Get into a prayerful mode and ask God to intervene. Seek counsel from your pastors and mentors as well. God will surely send help to you and make everything new for you.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not fall in love with the wrong person
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask that God opens the eyes of your understanding
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness. (Psalms 143:10 KJV)
Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness. (Psalms 143:10 KJV)
In deciding who to marry, the singular most important factor is God’s direction. This cannot be traded with the fact that you met in church. Here is a story narrated by a lady some years back. I read the account in a Newspaper (It was either Punch or Daily Sun)
She was going out with a guy that she met in a big Pentecostal church in Lagos. Everything looked good. ‘At least they met in church,’ so she thought. The guy had a jeep and would often drop her for choir meetings and pick her up later. This went on for about six months.
One of those days after choir meeting, he came to pick her as usual. But that particular day, he seemed to be in a hurry. He asked that he needed to dash down to a place before dropping her. That was no issue for her; that was her fiancé talking!
So he drove quite a long distance and just drove and drove.
‘Sorry dear, we are almost there.’
The next thing was that he veered off the road and drove far into the bush. Then he packed, got down, dragged her down and wanted to cut off her head. The girl screamed, but there was nobody to help in the bush. He pressed the knife to her neck hard to decapitate her head, and the lady struggled. She was a little bit strong, she fought back, but the guy held the knife firmly on her neck, knowing she would become weak after losing much blood.
Then, some movements were heard. The guy jumped in his jeep and drove away, with the intention to come back for the head.
Some hunters showed up, but on seeing the sight of the girl, they ran away without offering help. The case could be turned on them.
In a daze, losing blood and already weak, this lady stood up and just began to move in just a particular direction. She got to a particular hut where she got help with herbal care and then she was later moved to town.
Of course, the ‘brother in the Lord’ was nowhere to be found.’ It was from the hospital bed that this lady narrated her ordeal.
You can read about this because she lived to tell her story. How many of these would have happened that the victims never lived to tell the story?
This story is to let you know that meeting a person in church does not automatically translate that you are in God’s will or God’s choice for your life.
You will always be responsible for the choice you make because you will always live with your choice.
There are different kinds of people in the church.
There are sincere people, deceptive people, and deceptive people who want to become sincere. There are newly born again Christians whose minds are not renewed at all. There are Christians who are still very carnal. There are those who are very religious who think being in the choir can insure their habitual sexual compromise. So you see all kind of people.
There are people who come to church not because they want to serve God but because they want a man or a lady.
Tomorrow, I will share with you lessons we can learn from the above story.
Don’t miss it!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not fall in love with the wrong person. I will not be meeting the right person at the wrong place.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask that God will arrange your meeting with the right person
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness. (Psalms 143:10 KJV)
This is the concluding part of our series on what ladies need to know about men before saying ‘I do’.
We have talked about
1. Be ready to massage his ego 2. Be ready to respect him 3. Be ready to satisfy him sexually 4. Be ready to cook for him 5. Be ready to dress for him
6. Be ready to pray for him. Pray for your husband. Don’t let your early years in marriage be characterized with quarrels and hurts and wounds. You will slow yourself down that way. Yes, he is not a good man, he is not caring, he is not loving, she is not submissive, she is not respectful…but you are married! You are one in God’s eyes. You need each other’s agreement; you need each other’s prayers!
Pray for him from the depth of your heart and support him, don’t close up your spirit on him because of some issues…support him. Never open your mouth to curse him; it would be like cursing yourself because you are one!
7. Be ready to help him You are a helper. There are only two people referred to as ‘helper’ in the whole of Genesis to Revelation. That is the Holy Spirit and your wife!
That is why you have been told never to grieve the Holy Spirit and never to be bitter with your wife. That is why you don’t lift your hand against your helper! Ladies, be there to help him succeed. Support his endeavours.
Singles, you help your fiancée when you refuse to compromise. You are not helping him when he says ‘let’s kiss baby, and you too submit your lips for the next two hours like you are submitting a paper in the exam hall! Tell him, if you are hungry, you go by Ponmo or some cow-hide in the market, you ain’t chewing my mouth! These lips are reserved till marriage!
The power of life and death lies in your mouth, you use it to give direction to your life, not for kissing the one you are not married to! After, your marriage, you can do all of that, even for days, and God will still be excited about it!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have wisdom to make my relationship work
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh God, help me to know what I ought to know that I do not know
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 4:7(KJV) Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
Today, we continue on our topic which we started few days back.
We have talked about
1. Be ready to massage his ego 2. Be ready to respect him 3. Be ready to satisfy him sexually
Here we go;
4. Be ready to cook for him Now, this is very important. Food is very important and it is something constant in a family system.
‘Whatever happened to house-helps?’ Yes, they can help, but don’t let them take over the kitchen completely except in situations where you are your husband agree to employ trusted family cooks. But this is not usually the scenario in young families. Not a few ladies have their families disrupted by house-helps who were lured by the man in the house.
Even if the house-help will help in certain times, which is inevitable, try as much as possible to serve your husband yourself. This is very important. By the time you are not always there for days, while a young girl serves your husband, anything can happen if the man lacks self-control or has no fear for God.
While you are still single, don’t leave your mum to do everything, get in there and learn all you can.
Don’t be like the lady who got married and for days they were just eating out. After a while the husband got tired and requested for Amala. (A Nigerian local delicacy) Then trouble began. So the pot of water is on the fire, and she calls her mum to ask, ‘Mum the pot is on the fire now, at what minute do I add the yam powder?
5. Be ready to dress for him This is important as well. You should learn to dress for your husband at home. Why is this important? Men are moved by sight. They are moved by what they see, including anointed men and apostles and popes!
Don’t be like a lady who is so busy tied up in a wrapper and that was the last picture her husband saw before leaving for work. By the time he comes back, she is back in the wrapper trying to get food ready! Meanwhile, at work, he is accosted by this delectable, adorable and impeccably dressed secretary every morning who is saying ‘I am available’ with her body language! If the guy doesn’t’ know what he is doing or is brainless like Message translation says concerning adultery, he will simply mess up.
I don’t like wrappers and my wife doesn’t like it as well. So unromantic! It is not a sin to wear a lingerie at home! Dress cute for your husband at home and learn to set him in the mood. He likes that, he may not verbalize that, but I am helping him to do that now.
Singles, watch what you wear to your fiancée’s house. Don’t kill the guy; let him fulfill destiny! You are going to see him so that you can pray together by 9.00pm in a mini skirt that has a slit! How will the guy pray? The eyes will be turning red, the tongues will change and you will think it is the anointing? Nay, he is suffering and his tongues is probably, ‘O Lord deliver me from what I see with my eyes!’
When they David saw Bathsheba taking her bath, a seed for adultery and murder was sown. When Samson saw a harlot, he went in unto her. He saw another lady, and he could not speak correctly again, he told his father,
‘Get her for me to wife!’ Check it out in your Bible!
Men can lose their temper, temperature and temperament altogether when they see a beautiful lady!!! Men, can you bear me witness?
What other things do you need to know before saying I do?
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I know the things to do to advance my life
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for wisdom to know the things to do.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 4:7(KJV) Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Write down the things you are learning.
Ok, I promised to continue from where we left off yesterday and I will keep to my promise as some new topics are screaming at me right now. Yesterday we looked at the first two things that are very important before you say ‘I do’, which are
1. Be ready to massage his ego 2. Be ready to respect him
We still have five more points to go.
3. Be ready to satisfy him sexually 4. Be ready to cook for him 5. Be ready to dress for him 6. Be ready to pray for him. 7. Be ready to help him
Today we continue from the third one.
3. Be ready to satisfy him sexually You and I know this is very important right? But here are few things about that. Now, talking to married couples first, I want to tell wives, if it is possible, try as much as you can to always satisfy your husband sexually. It is the number one preventive for an adulterous lifestyle. I am not trying to justify any man’s recklessness in his family, but I am saying a few things can be guard against.
Young wives, you need to know that jeru trip is not a tool for punishment or reward. When he is nice and has bought something for you, you cooperate with him. When he has not been nice, you start singing ‘my head, my shoulder, my knees, my toes, they all are paining me! That is not fair!
Well, the scripture admonishes couples, ‘defraud ye not one another!’ The scripture calls it fraud when you deny one another without genuine reasons! And really, genuine reasons should only come up once in a while!
Why is jeru trip so important to men? It is because of their wiring, it is not their fault. However, the scripture makes it clear that a sexual relationship should only be with your spouse, not with a colleague or somebody you met in a one-nightstand somewhere! The consequences of adultery are debilitating. It comes with agony and regrets!
If you are not enjoying it as a wife, you should let your husband know so that you can find ways to resolve that. It is not right to keep rebuffing his advances because ‘you are not enjoying it!’ You should be enjoying it to the fullest because one of the reasons why God made jeru trip is pleasure. There could be many reasons why you don’t enjoy it and you might need to see a trusted counselor together (never alone) who can keep your issues confidential.
If you feel your husband rushes you and is never patient, teach him and lead him gently until he learns to wait for you. I would have gone deeper on this, but singles are reading this too, so I don’t want to ‘afflict’ their souls! Lol.
Let him know areas you would want him to touch. Every man ought to know every lady needs an average of twenty minutes to be fully ready! So ladies, when you notice your husband has been reacting, withdrawing, getting angry at little things, getting irritated at almost everything, complaining about what he used to ignore, check out whether you have been refusing his advances and his ego is not allowing him to ‘beg’ for it. It is actually not a good place for any man to be because a sexually starved man is capable of messing up anytime!
Protect your marriage by enjoying each other and never denying each other. For a lady, it is more than a physical workout, it is an emotional thing for her, so when she is hurt, she may not be able to release herself. This is why it is important to forgive easily and let go…because you are still one! It is also why you should treat your wife gently and be caring!
For the singles, I mentioned some things yesterday. You are not to satisfy anybody until after you say I do, which is in marriage. You can put forth all kinds of lame excuses why it should happen but that is not God’s order. If you are going to have God’s support, favour, and help in this life, then you had better do it God’s way. And I really don’t think anybody wants to live without God’s support, favour, and help in this life. Those are what would distinguish and make a difference in your life.
If as a married couple, you are already involved with adultery or with pre-marital sex as a single, it is never too late to ask God for forgiveness and turn around in your ways. That is how not to delay yourself or slow yourself down.
Conclusively, you will never be able to ‘insure’ any relationship or ‘keep’ a man through compromise. Your body is not a commodity to trade; it is the temple of the Holy Ghost! Respect your body and don’t trade it around because God puts a lot of value on your body and on your person!
To be continued tomorrow.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the wisdom to make my relationship work
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask that God will give you wisdom.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 4:7(KJV) Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
1. Be ready to massage his ego Every man has an ego. It is part of him and that is what makes him a man. He needs that ego to survive and to be the best he can be. While I don’t subscribe to men who are overly egocentric and who manipulate their fiancées or wives as a result, I know that as a lady you should be ready to stroke that ego and not crush it. If you keep on crushing a man’s ego, you will keep seeing the other side of him that is not really nice! How do you crush a man’s ego?
Let me give you a sample. You and your husband are dining alongside another couple. The other lady goes like, ‘one thing I like about my husband is that he is so patient with me, always available to even help me out in the kitchen most times” And then, you go like, “You are so lucky! My own husband? He is so lazy and behaves like an impatient drone. Rather than for him to help me out in the kitchen, he prefers to sit down playing cards with little kids like a deranged man. I wish he is like your husband…you are so lucky o.”
This looks like an extreme example, but anything like this, you have just finished the man, and he would look for ways to finish you as well because you just crushed his ego publicly! A man’s ego is so important to him that even if you try crushing it in privacy when you are alone, he will react immediately, not to talk of openly. It is not the way to go.
2. Be ready to respect him Respect is a major issue for men. So major that they are not ready to compromise in that area. So make up your mind to respect and be submissive to your husband if you really want to enjoy your marriage. Interestingly, the more submissive you are, the more he will listen to you eventually, and the more you will be able to influence him.
If you are a lady, and your song is ‘he never listens to me,’ I can tell you what is happening. Somewhere in his mind, he believes you are disrespectful.’ So any attempt to make contributions he flares up! Do you know why? He sees your contributions as trying to usurp his authority and he shuts you down or ignores you. When you find yourself in this kind of situation, rather than fight back or withdraw in frustration, try making adjustments in how you respect him, even in your choice of words and tone of voice, it all matters.
But Pastor, he doesn’t love me, why should I respect him? The instruction in Ephesians 5 is not a 50-50 contract. It’s 100% instruction. You are not to respect him because he loves you. You are to submit to him because he is your husband. The same goes for men, you don’t love your wife because she respects you, you are to love her because she is your wife. When couples start seeing it this way, they will be amazed at the changes that will take place in their marriage!
Now, listen to this, if you are so independent and you are not ready to respect and submit to your husband, you are not ready for marriage! It doesn’t matter whether you earn more than him or whether you are more traveled, he remains the head of the house. There cannot be two heads in the house, any two-headed creature is a monster. This is how God instituted it, and that is how it is going to work. But sincerely, in an atmosphere of love, the wife does not need to be shouted upon, ‘I am the head of the house!’ Like somebody said, the moment you have to keep screaming that, you have just lost the headship!
For singles in courtship, here is what you need to know. Never ever try disobeying God in any way because you want to respect your fiancé. For example, he asks you to come over and spend the weekend with him while you are not yet married. You have every right to disagree on that because you and I know what that would lead to. In fact, you need to review any kind of relationship where the guy is putting pressure on you for pre-marital sex. So, in your
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the wisdom of God. I know how to make my relationship work
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask that God will help you to know what to do per time.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 4:7(KJV) Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
Sandy and Bobby have been married for only seven months and yet Sandy is completely frustrated.
‘I will never be able to please this man. I don’t understand him. I thought we courted and I knew him.’ Their marriage has been characterized with daily quarrels, anger tantrums, and bitterness towards each other. Sandy doesn’t know what to do again because according to her, ‘this man doesn’t really love me!’
What was Sandy’s issue? She went into marriage not knowing who a man is! She was involved in jeru trip and that distracted her from the real preparation of the heart. Part of the preparation of the heart is to read wide, study hard, ask questions, stay under mentors, and so on.
Every man, whether he is born again or not has some peculiarities. When he has a relationship with God, has the fear of God and his mind is renewed, he is better able to handle these peculiarities.
Unfortunately, most ladies walk down the aisle in sheer ignorance of some of these peculiarities and after a few months, they really want to retrace their steps and walk up the aisle and out of the marriage.
If you are still single, these are some of the things you should know and probably read more about. This is what we try to achieve by God’s Spirit on KHC, if you can follow these devotionals, which are inspired by the Spirit of God, and you can follow the instructions passed across, you will succeed in your marital endeavors.
Why do I say that? That is the grace and unction upon the ministry, to raise a standard, to set things aright in courtships, and to restore dying marriages.
What are these peculiarities? The list is not exhaustive, but these seven are the pertinent ones.
1. Be ready to massage his ego 2. Be ready to respect him 3. Be ready to satisfy him sexually 4. Be ready to cook for him 5. Be ready to dress for him 6. Be ready to pray for him. 7. Be ready to help him
Tomorrow, we will pick these seven issues one by one.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the wisdom to make my relationship work
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask that God will give you wisdom.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 4:7(KJV) Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
Sister Faith was spiritual! While on campus, she was everywhere. From prayer group to the Choir and then the missions, she tirelessly served God and it was obvious God’s hands were upon her. She counseled younger ladies, prayed for them, and ensured new converts were established in the fellowship. The fellowship missed her like “Mississippi” when she left.
At the one-year national orientation camp, the fire continued to burn, but not for long! The news soon filtered, she got involved in a relationship with someone who is not born again. All the attempts of other ‘brethren’ to stop her were futile. In later years, she was not happy. Her rich husband would not allow her to work or serve God. She became a permanent housewife, disappeared from church, and later entered into depression. Needless to say, she did not enjoy her marriage.
The question of destiny! This one cannot be over-emphasized. As singles, you cannot be involved with a man or woman that has no sense of destiny in God! In these days, and for whatever reason, you should not go into a marriage with someone that will hinder or stop your relationship with God. There are dream killers and destiny destroyers. When you marry such people, whole destinies can be swallowed up.
I feel like I’ve got a trumpet in my mouth to sound a warning to this generation about emotions and sexuality. You see, God cannot be mocked! Marriage is not what you fall into like a lamb being led to the slaughter because you are in love. Marriage comes with pressures, and those pressures are amplified when you get married to someone with no sense of destiny.
With marriage, dreams can come alive, and dreams can die, literally vapourize until you become a shadow of yourself. With marriage, the heavens can be opened, and with it, the heavens can also become iron. With marriage, you can move to your next level in God and you can be reduced to the level of your partner. With marriage, you can enter into unbelievable rebellion and bite the fingers that fed you, and you can honour those who have contributed to your life positively. With marriage, you can find your rhyme, come alive with hidden gifts bursting out into manifestation and divine expressions, and gifts can also be wrapped up and buried in the tomb of unbelief and depression.
Why is marriage that powerful? You see it is a covenant. In the book of Proverbs, the Bible says God’s word will keep you away from evil men and strange women. So, there are evil men and strange women. There are Delilahs whose mission is to destroy. There are Jezebels whose mission is to use you. There are Samsons who are anointed but are full of lust and will not mind sleeping with you before marriage and then preach the next day. There are Herods who don’t see anything in killing infants and will take to abort over and over.
In marriage, destinies are wedged together. Like the dog whose jaws are locked when it bites, there are people you kiss and your jaws are locked. In marriage, blessings and afflictions become intertwined and your issues become his\her issues.
Psa 92:1-2 KJV It is a good thing to give thanks unto the LORD, and to sing praises unto thy name, O most High: To shew forth thy lovingkindness in the morning, and thy faithfulness every night,
I love this scripture a lot! It is a good thing! What do you do that translates into a good thing?
There are four things mentioned.
To give thanks unto the Lord
Sing praises unto God’s name
To show forth His loving kindness in the morning
To show forth His faithfulness every night
It is good as a child of God to learn to do these daily! Why must we do these? It’s because it is good to do them. Just like when you say it is good to eat good food. It is good to have your bath…the same way, for your spiritual health, for your victory in life; it is good to these things.
Rather than complain about your partner, give thanks unto the Lord. Rather than nag at him, give thanks unto the Lord. Rather than sulk over being jilted or abandoned, give thanks unto the Lord.
Then it says, sing praises unto God’s name. You don’t need to be on key to do that. You can even sing along with your tab or phone.
Rather than listen to Lady Gaga or Beyonce, sing praises unto God’s name. Rather than sing some secular songs whose lyrics are negative, sing praises unto God’s name!
Then, learn to shew forth His lovingkindness in the morning! How do you do that?
Message translations says:
Psa 92:2 MSG To announce your love each daybreak…
Common now! You show forth His loving kindness by announcing His love each morning! You’ve got to come to a place in God where you refuse to wake up with some heaviness because of what happened the previous day or what is ahead of you in the new day. You see, praising God is not what you do with how you feel or you will not be able to do anything. Refuse to wake up into some sad state of heart. Refuse to wake up on the wrong side of the bed. I have checked my bed severally and I also told my wife to check, there is no wrong side! Both sides of the bed are right sides; whichever side I wake from, I am good to go! You see, our bed is laid with the sheets of praise! It’s got to be good!
In the morning, the first thing to do is not to hiss and shake your head in some regrets! Stop waking up with a frown. Did someone fight you in your dream? Learn to praise Him like your life depends on it because your life depends on it!
Finally, it says, to show forth His lovingkindness in the night! Every night! That is what it says! Don’t let the last thing you do in the night be listening to News or watching some Home videos that can break homes! Don’t fall asleep on some music that can dirty your spirit.
One translation of that verse says
Psa 92:2 BBE To make clear your mercy in the morning, and your unchanging faith every night;
Ruminate and meditate on that unchanging faith of God every night! Never lose hope. Hold on to God’s word and believe that the following day will be your day!
You see, when you consciously and deliberately learn to start and end your days like these, it does something to you. It positions you in a place where you are strategically ready for what God wants to do in your life. It helps you to cooperate with God’s plan for your life!
When you learn to do these daily, there are two things that will happen in your life.
Psa 92:10, 12 AMP But my horn (emblem of excessive strength and stately grace) You have exalted like that of a wild ox; I am anointed with fresh oil. The [uncompromisingly] righteous shall flourish like the palm tree [be long-lived, stately, upright, useful, and fruitful]; they shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon [majestic, stable, durable, and incorruptible].
In verse 10, your strength will be exalted. Your productivity will be maximized. Your result will be assured. Your victory will be certain.
In verse 12, you will flourish. You will succeed. You will grow and expand. You will be durable and incorruptible!
Get ready for some victory as you listen to GOD on this, as you start your day with Him and end with Him. Before you do this for long, you will surely see the hands of the Lord on not just your relationship and marriage, but in your business and every area of your life!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will praise God in the morning and in the night. I will not give in to depression. My victory is ascertained.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh God, teach me how to praise you all day long and have victory.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY O Lord, how great are thy works! and thy thoughts are very deep (Psalms 92:5 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to praise God today
4. She will come after you and then bring you into her territory or space for maximum control
I have decked my bed with coverings of tapestry, with carved works, with fine linen of Egypt. I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning: let us solace ourselves with loves (Proverbs 7:15-18 KJV)
She had a plan all the while. She is a planner when it comes to the strange lifestyle. She will go to any extent to get what she wanted. She knows what gifts to buy to weaken the man’s resolve. She is sometimes much older and she uses her money and influence to control her prey!
The modern day “sugar mummy” is a strange woman! Run from a strange life lest strange things begin to happen! The student involved with an “aristo” is also a strange lady!
5. She is an adulterer
For the goodman is not at home, he is gone a long journey: He hath taken a bag of money with him, and will come home at the day appointed (Proverbs 7:19-20 KJV)
Any opportunity when her husband is not around is an opportunity for her to go wild. She does not mind bringing men into her matrimonial home!
I have seen it too many times, the husband is a business man in Japan or Italy, leaves the wife in Nigeria, and she simply has a man that comes into her matrimonial bed daily! While it is not good for a man to abandon his wife for months in the name of business, there is also something strange when a woman can lie, hide, be deceptive and sleeps with other men apart from her husband for whatever reasons.
I tell singles all the time, it starts as a single. The moment you can combine more than one relationship, one in Nigeria, the other in UK, or one in Lagos and the other Abuja, deceiving both sides and promising both a marriage union, there is something really strange about that.
Such lifestyles culminate in agony at the end. It is always good for you to live your life God’s way and you know what, God does not condemn you but simply wants your repentance.
God will strengthen you as you resolve to do what is right.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not fall into the trap of the strange woman.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, deliver me from the strange woman.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY For the goodman is not at home, he is gone a long journey: He hath taken a bag of money with him, and will come home at the day appointed (Proverbs 7:19-20 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Are you noticing strange behaviours in the life of someone around you? Take action now.
So she caught him…That is a language used when you set a trap and you catch a prey, isn’t it? You see when you are locked up in the embrace of a strange woman; with a woman who is not your spouse and yet will not leave you alone, you have been caught!
You might think you are a good toaster, but nay, you have been caught! You might think you are having some free stuff, but you have been trapped. That is why the Bible says, “she caught him!”
The word “caught” in literal Hebrew is interesting. It is “Chazaq” which means to “fasten upon,” “seize,” “to bind,” amongst other meanings. The next time you are entangled in bed with a strange woman, you are not a champion; you are a prey!
2. Her seduction tactics are aggressive
… and kissed him (Proverbs 7:13b KJV)
She doesn’t waste time and there is no time for rapport. The strange woman will gladly offer her body in one-night stands, with strangers in public toilets and anywhere in exchange for money.
3. She is stubborn and resilient in her seduction
…and with an impudent face said unto him, I have peace offerings with me; this day have I payed my vows. Therefore came I forth to meet thee, diligently to seek thy face, and I have found thee (Proverbs 7:13-15 KJV)
A strange woman will not give up easily. Do you remember Delilah? She vexed Samson until she got what she wanted. When a guy begins to offer some lame excuses saying, “I never wanted it even for once, she was always the one initiating Jericho trap…well, you are gone! If you were offered Rice cooked with rat poison, and you know, will you eat it and say it was because she served you?
Tomorrow, I will give you more signs of the strange woman. Don’t miss it.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not fall into the trap of the strange woman.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, deliver me from the strange woman.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY For the goodman is not at home, he is gone a long journey: He hath taken a bag of money with him, and will come home at the day appointed (Proverbs 7:19-20 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Are you noticing strange behaviors in the life of someone around you? Take action now.
She is a “talk” person, not to be muted! This is very crucial and your understanding of this will save you a lot of marital squabbles.
Allowing her to express herself without fear, trepidation, and inhibition is allowing her to be all that God has created her to be. Allowing her to be all that God has created her to be is fulfillment and prosperity for her and for you eventually.
The greatest misfortune that can befall a man is living daily with a frustrated wife. When she is not allowed to express herself, she would begin to internalize. The more she internalizes, the more it can really become dangerous and you will not be happy about that.
It’s been said that an average man speaks about ten thousand words in a day. But an average woman speaks about twenty-five thousand words daily! By the time the husband returns from work, he has probably exhausted his quota of ten thousand words at work, with colleagues, with friends, and over the phone.
By the time the wife comes back from work, she probably would have done about ten thousand words as well. But, you see, she still has about fifteen thousand words bubbling in her entrails that she wants to unleash on her husband, children, and anybody available.
Now, this is the reason all the man wants to do is eat, listen to the news, check emails, have Jeru trip, and sleep! This is also the reason why your wife wants to talk a lot and explain a lot of things that the husband deems unnecessary!
So when a man asks his wife, “how was work today?” Bam! That question will be well answered with every detail of what happened since she drove out in the morning while the husband is wondering, ‘Why did I ask this question. What did I ask, what am I hearing?” You need to understand this need of ladies.
It is also the reason why many husbands doze off while the wife keeps talking. And then she asks, “Are you sleeping already,” and you tell a “holy” lie, “no I am listening, dear!” Now, it becomes even more intense when your wife has not started work or she is a housewife! My God, the words are piling up, day in day out, they are being carried over!
This is why as a man, you should sit down with her and talk to her deliberately. Ever wondered why some ladies would be in a relationship with drivers, cooks, and gardeners, and so on, well the reason is obvious. They need to talk and they talk with whoever gives a listening ear. This is why you also need to avoid strife like a plague in your matrimonial home. If you have not been talking to your spouse for days or weeks, that can be dangerous. You are inflating her vulnerabilities because she will find somebody else to talk to, and God forbids that the allegiance shifts!
But what if she offended me and she is wrong? Well, end the strife first, even when you have to apologize for what you didn’t do, then after that, you can discuss intelligently. Ladies are to note, however, that expression of yourself in your matrimonial home as healthy as it is has boundaries. When you cross the line to the dangerous milieu of “Nagging” it can be very counter-productive!
Talking with your husband is different from nagging him! As singles, if you are being muted already, something is not quite right. If communication is defective, slow down and find out why rather than ignore all the symptoms and rush into marriage only to discover it is a mistake!
Singles, never say to your fiancé/fiancée these two words: “Shut up!”
If a lady “shuts up for you and you think you won, you are joking!” Ever seen molten magma before? That is what it is like when a woman shuts up every time. The day the volcanic eruption comes forth, it can be disastrous. Be wise, keep the communication line open. Stop saying you are busy and that is why you have not called her in one week! What is your phone meant for? When you love a person, you want to talk with that person! Single ladies, there is a difference between courting a guy and courting disaster.
When a guy has not called you once in three months, the truth is that you are not in a relationship. Move on with your life, be happy, develop new friendships, and don’t allow anybody to keep your life suspended.
God hates divorce. It is not always God’s best option.
Here is the scripture:
“I hate divorce,” says the God of Israel. God-of-the-Angel-Armies says, “I hate the violent dismembering of the ‘one flesh’ of marriage.” So watch yourselves. Don’t let your guard down. Don’t cheat. Mal.2:16 MSG
I must however be quick to say that there are genuine instances where divorce is recommended. God intends that a man and woman should be in marriage as long as they are alive, but He has also made exceptions and this is what we want to look at from the scriptures.
When people remarry under the circumstances that we will be looking at, they should not entertain any condemnation again from the devil.
1. The Question of Marital unfaithfulness The first exception for divorce that God made has to do with unfaithfulness. This has to do with adulterous sin or any other sexual sin.
But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery:and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. (Matthew 5:32 KJV)
When there is marital unfaithfulness and sexual sin is involved, the marriage covenant is broken. As a result of this, the other spouse is freed. There have been cases where the spouse is willing to forgive and move on especially in instances where he or she has indirectly contributed to the spouses’ infidelity. But in cases where the spouse is unrepentant from the unfaithfulness, divorce becomes valid.
The reasons are obvious. A man or woman who is sexually and unrepentantly promiscuous can bring home a sexually transmitted disease. This cannot be God’s will. I once watched a documentary of seven women who all tested positive to HIV and the disease was already at an advanced stage. In each of the instances, the woman had been faithful, but had been unfortunately married to an unfaithful man who transmitted the disease! They faced their deaths because they were married to sexually irresponsible men!
2. The Question of Abandonment or Desertion The next scenario is when the spouse is unsaved and really wants to end the marriage. This often plays out by the uninterested spouse walking away from the marriage and abandoning his or her spouse. In such cases, the spouse is not obligated to stay.
But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. (1 Corinthians 7:15 KJV)
When the person abandoned gets remarried, it is not considered adultery. I have had to handle cases where some women’s husbands have abandoned them for upward of ten years! The emotional trauma and sense of isolation is tremendous and some of such women have gone on to become women of easy virtue because of the obvious vulnerability. When a spouse walks away for some five to seven years, something is definitely wrong somewhere. He keeps promising he is going to come back, but he might never! You need to answer the questions above.
3. The Question of Intense brutality which can be physical, mental, and or sexual abuse This is another valid reason for divorce. It is not easy to live with a man who you are not sure of his love for you. Having to live in the same house with a man who can strangle you and end your life before daylight can be very crushing. When either spouse has been brutalized, this is often seen as equivalent to ‘desertion.’ It is often called constructive desertion.
When your life is no longer safe, when you have been battered over and over again, it is not worth it in such marriages. Not a few women have lost their lives in the hands of abusive spouses. If your spouse attacks you physically and then apologizes and stops, please kindly embrace him back. It is not appropriate to jump to a conclusion and head for divorce because of a mistake he makes after you aggravated him.
But talking candidly to men, never raise your hand against your wife. It is not manly and it is not godly. That woman was given to you so that you can protect her, not end her life. I know some ladies can be very sharp-mouthed and extremely rude, but when you see her as one with you, you will patiently resolve all issues rather than resort to violence.
When your spouse forces you into sexual sins and into perversions, don’t keep quiet. Seek help and seek counsel. Ask him questions.
In conclusion, I will still tell you that divorce is never the best! Do all you can to fight for your marriage until it becomes absolutely impossible to continue in that marriage! This also means that such flimsy excuses as irreconcilable differences, lack of love, incompatibility, different career goals, and so on are not valid grounds for divorce.
For singles, you can prevent divorce by not rushing into a marriage with a man you don’t know. You don’t go into marriage haphazardly; you go into it deliberately, intentionally, and consciously following God’s plan and injunctions.
Happy new month!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I ask the right questions.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to ask the right questions
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mal 2:15 (GW)Didn’t God make you one? Your flesh and spirit belong to him. And what does the same God look for but godly descendants? So be careful not to be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.
Why is this so important? If you don’t love yourself, it is not possible for any other person to love you the way they should. They will only be using you rather. It is important to deal with this. You have to love yourself. You have to accept yourself. Loving yourself is key!
1. Discover your potentials One of the ways to love yourself and overcome self-hate is to discover your potentials. If you have not discovered your potentials, you will keep on comparing yourself to another, who in the real sense may be envying you! Your gifting and natural talents are an indication of your potentials and a pointer to your purpose in life! You have to discover what you are created for.
Listen to me, when you discover your potential and the reason you are on this earth, you will love yourself. All the negative feelings of self-hate and self-rejection will vapourize! Nobody is created for fun. We are all created for a purpose!
Your potential or natural talents may not even be in vogue now, but just stay with it! That is part of loving yourself.
In the seventies and early eighties when we go out to play football, our parents would reprimand us and tell us to go and read our books! Today, parents are buying footballs, and telling their wards, you must know how to play this thing! Why? Footballers are heavily paid today!
Some twenty years back, comedy is not a profession as it were in Nigeria. Today, they make millions in the hour! What are your natural talents? You’ve got to discover them because that is where your prosperity is!
2. Develop your potential After you have discovered your potential, the next thing to do is to develop it. Organise your potential for productivity. Equip your potential for profit. How do you do that? Get information about your potential, gifts or talents. Read books on them. Get all you need on it and be adequately informed.
3. Deploy your potentials The next thing to do is to package your potential and deploy it. Step out on it! Start something today. A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step! Stick out your neck and move on! A wet swimmer is better than a dry boat-sitter!
4. Be passionate about what you do Be passionate about your assignment. You see, when you are busy with all these, you will not have time for self-hate or self-rejection or not loving yourself appropriately. The proof of desire is always in your pursuit.
A young man that wakes up by 9.00am has woken up too late. By that time, several people have made their first million for the day! Approach life with passion. Commit to your potential. Write the vision and make it plain that he that readeth may run with it. After you have prayed and prayed, then step out so that God can bless the works of your hands.
Don’t be like the pastor who wanted to organise a crusade. He prayed like no man’s business. Morning, afternoon and night, he was praying and groaning. But he didn’t make a single flier neither was he on T.V or Radio! So on the day of the crusade, all of heaven was aware, but nobody knew except him on earth. The result? The crusade ground was jam-packed with angels, but not a singe human! Warrior angels, praise angels and so many were there, because heaven was aware. But not a single human being knew! Even though he has prayed, and made tremendous power available, his spiritual efforts were not complimented with adequate publicity.
You see, if God will help you, you must be doing something for him to help!
Don’t be like a man who wants to get married but has no job and has no intention of getting one. The wife is supposed to be a help-meet. So, what was she coming to help you with?
5. Be full of praise Finally be full of praise. Be grateful to God for the gift of life! Why would you complain about a simple headache? Don’t you know that it is only people that have heads that can have headache? So thank God for giving you a head first!
You got depressed because your result in school was not that good? Don’t you know the other child whose destiny has been retired to selling and hawking oranges is wishing that he had the kind of opportunity you have? You are sad because you are not yet married? Thank God for your time of singleness and enjoy it because some married people wish they can just be single again to correct a lasting mistake!
It is when you come to God with an attitude of praise, that the heavens open over you to satisfy the desire of your heart!
Wake up with praise and gratefulness in your heart and not with complaints and murmurings. Go to bed thanking God for the day and not with emotions of regret. Then, you are qualified for God’s hand upon you afresh and you can love yourself the way God loves you.
Shalom!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love myself. I am loving in my approach.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me how to love and appreciate myself
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psalms 90:14 O satisfy us early with thy mercy; that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be loving to yourself by taking yourself out
Apart from the points we discussed yesterday, how else will a man show his love for you?
Let’s go…
4. He will never raise his hands against you. A godly man that truly loves you will not lift his hands against you. Ladies, hear me and hear me well, if he is already donating slaps to you and you are gladly receiving them in love, it won’t stop after marriage. In fact, he will take it to the next level, and turn you into his punching bag. But he said ‘he will change!’ Why can’t he change now? Marriage doesn’t change anybody! In fact, it amplifies who you are because there is pressure of living with somebody now.
If you are courting a man that beats you regularly, that is nothing more than courting disaster. Deliver yourself like a roe out of the hands of the hunter and fly away before you become a prey. I know there are soul ties because of sexual involvement which is disobedience in itself, but the reality that you might be beaten all the days of your life should severe any soul ties and make you wake up! It is not God’s plan for you to be in a relationship where you are being physically abused consistently!
5. He will not draw you into sexual perversion. A godly man that truly loves you will not pull you into the world of sexual perversion where unimaginable things are being perpetrated. Don’t allow yourself to be treated like a jeru trip object, because you are not one.
He will not suggest to you things that you know are ungodly. He will not satisfy his lust at the expense of your relationship with God. He will not be asking you to send nude pictures. For what purpose would that be? He will not pull you further into the miry clay of sin where you keep slipping into iniquity. He will pull you up. He will be an encourager. He will be a positive motivator. Don’t settle for less.
6. A godly man that truly loves you will be accountable. He is not the alpha and omega of his life and home. He has mentors and authority figures over him that he is submissive to. Ladies, never get involved with a guy who has no authority figures over him. Anything could happen, and there would be nobody to talk to.
7. A godly man that truly loves you is a giver. He gives and he supports God’s work. He does not argue about paying tithes. He gives to God and he gives to you! What if he has not started work? Giving has nothing to do with the amount, it has a lot to do with the gesture and the heart!
May God grant you more understanding in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not fall in love with the wrong man.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God leads you to the man who will love you genuinely
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Ask questions about your relationship and take decisions.
1. He will truly support your dreams and vision. Not a few women have had their dreams and vision suffocated and swallowed up because of unnecessary intimidation.
A man that truly loves you will truly support your dreams, vision and aspirations knowing fully well that you are one. What is the point of a lady serving God with so much zest and energy on her youthful and campus days and after marriage only to be permanently domiciled to kitchen and baby nursing affairs only? Yes, I know you have to take care of your family and you should but that doesn’t mean you should come to a place where you are not even lifting a finger in your local assembly. I also know that this situation could arise as a result of your own inability to properly transition from a single lady to a married woman and might not have anything to do with your husband.
If you find yourself in this situation, what to do is not go and put up a fight with your husband, but to lovingly discuss with him how you can strike a balance and be useful to God, even as a wife and a mother. I know there are also situations where you might have to blend with your husband, so I am not saying here that you should have a completely independent spirit wherein rather than be a helper to your husband, you eventually become a distraction.
2. He will truly be a lover boy to you only A godly man that truly loves you will be a great lover of you only. He is not going back and forth and getting involved with other ladies. He is focused on you. Being godly does not mean being unromantic.
A godly man that truly loves you does not come around to tell you that he has so many girlfriends but you are his first choice, as if he is filling a university admission form. He will not play games with you. He will not toy with your emotions and he will not manipulate you with logic. He knows how to take care of you and how to bring out the best in you. Ladies, do not stay with a man who sleeps around and even tells you to your face, that he would stop after marriage. Don’t subject yourself to that kind of affliction, even if he gives you a million bucks every month! You are not for sale!
In marriage, he will focus on you and will not be distracted. His love for you will keep him zipped up even in the face of pressure.
3. He will truly protect you. A man is supposed to be a protector of the lady. In courtship, he doesn’t want you to compromise your virtue, nay, he wants you to please God, so he is willing to wait. In marriage, his love for you will be evident in how he provides, pampers you, and prays for you. He wants the best for you. When there are issues, he tries to treat you gently, because he knows you are his wife.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not fall in love with the wrong person.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God leads you to your rightful partner
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Ask questions about your relationship and take decisions.
We started looking at this topic yesterday. We mentioned some things about the right woman.
1. She will truly love you. 2. She will truly and regularly intercede for you. 3. She will truly add to you and not deplete you.
What other ways can you know the right woman for you?
4. She will truly behave appropriately How do I mean? A lady that truly loves you will not aid and push you into sin. In courtship, she will not demand for jeru trip neither will she ‘supply’ it when it is being demanded. She will behave in a spiritually appropriate way. She will not trap you or manipulate you. She will not become a spiritual nuisance or distraction to you. I know guys can be forceful, manipulative and stubborn sometimes, but when a lady wants to say No, she knows how to say it.
In marriage, she will behave appropriately. She will not defraud her husband! That’s what the Bible calls it. When you deny your husband in marriage, it’s fraud!
Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. (1 Corinthians 7:5 KJV)
This doesn’t mean husbands should not allow their wives to rest, right?
Don’t go and tell your wife, ‘Pastor Dunamis said even if it is five times daily, you should be good to go!” In reality, never sex-starve your husband. It is not supposed to be a tool of punishment or reward.
5. She will be truly faithful. A lady in courtship that truly loves you will not double date. She will not live in deception. She will not be caught in betwixt the triple operation of greed, money and sex. She will remain faithful. That is all about fearing God.
In marriage, she will not cheat on you or hide things from you. Do ladies who are believers cheat on their husbands? Yes. How do I know? Through counseling! It starts with emotional affairs, nursing secret desires and keeping it away from your spouse. You see, iniquity is perpetuated in the atmosphere of secrecy. The power of iniquity is broken when it is exposed. When you are capable of hiding things from your husband, well, you don’t love him like you should, and a seed of adultery can be planted, because all it takes is your ability to do things and hide them.
Well, if you find some defects in your courtship, you might want to lovingly discuss them and make adjustments. You might also want to talk to a mentor or a counselor. You might also want to pray and ask God for wisdom. I pray that God will give you wisdom on how to make it right in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I know the right person to marry
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask that God leads you in the right direction
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Prov 18:22(KJV)Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.
1. She will truly love you. How do you know a woman truly loves you? She will submit to you. Submission is not being subservient or being oppressed, it is a conscious effort of allowing the man to have the final say as the scripture suggests.
One of the most effective ways to influence your husband is to submit. One of the fastest ways to aggravate a man is to remain stubborn and non-submissive. A man is not supposed to lord it over his wife, he is supposed to relate with her lovingly while she respectfully submits. Being submissive is not being muted, she should be able to offer suggestions and use her initiatives, howbeit, the man should have the final say. When you mute your wife, you have just silenced your helper!
2. She will truly and regularly intercede for you. A woman is a womb-man, and that is what differentiates her from a man. She has the capacity to conceive and then birth. All the confusion in this generation ought not to be. Male and female created he them! Not male and male or female and female. God did not create Adam and Steve. God did not create Eve and Eva. So there should be no issues. A woman is created with a womb, not one acquired through the trans-gender process.
She has a womb. She has the same capacity in the spirit realm and she wields tremendous spiritual power if she has a relationship with God. Just like she is endowed to birth in the natural, she is empowered to intercede in the spirit realm. I am not saying men should not pray, because the scripture says men ought to pray, but I am saying a woman can birth things in the spirit realm. If she truly loves you, she will not walk away because of challenges, she will take it up in the place of prayers.
Have you seen the scripture in Hebrews that says –
“Women received their dead raised to life again…?” (Hebrews 11:35a)
It means a woman can take what appears dead and gone and bring life into it again.
3. She will truly add to you and not deplete you. A woman not only births, she is also a multiplier. A woman will always multiply what you give her. Give a woman some ingredients and there goes a pot of delicious stew. Give a woman a house and she makes a home out of it. Give a woman spermatozoa, and she brings forth a baby months after. She is just a multiplier. That is why the scripture says a woman shall compass a man. That is also why the scripture says a woman is a helper to her husband. Not a distraction. A wife; not a knife. A wife helps; a knife cuts and lacerates. There is a difference!
When a lady that loves you comes into your life in marriage, she will add to you. He that findeth a wife findeth good and obtaineth favour! She will truly add favour to your life when she truly loves you. And that is why men should be careful about the kind of seed they plant in a lady. If you sow the wind, she will take it, press down shaken together and give you a whirlwind. If you sow stress into her life, she will give you frustration. Be careful because she is a multiplier!
