Skin Deep Or Real Thing? Sally is in love with George but George is not in love with Sally! It is not a good idea to be in love with the one that is not in love with. Outwardly, the relationship looks cool, like something you even want to envy, but it’s actually riddled with insecurities, endless quarrels and perpetual suspicion. The relationship is only skin deep!
The Johnsons who have been married for a while are great actors. They have been living in a cycle of strife, but they have learnt to put up appearances. All they are interested in is how people see them, not how God sees them. They are just going through the motions, their love is just skin deep and any little provocation would result in expulsion of deep seated magma within the crust of their hearts.
We have been looking at the book of Ezekiel for a while, and this morning, I want to show you an insight God gave me here which describes many relationships and marriages! Skin Deep Or Real Thing?
We looked at verse 7 yesterday. Today, we are looking at verse 8
Eze 37:8 (KJV) And when I beheld, lo, the sinews and the flesh came up upon them, and the skin covered them above: but there was no breath in them.
Sinews, flesh and skin came upon the bones! What an astounding miracle!
But there is a “But”
It says there is no breath in them! It was a miracle, but not complete!
This describes a lot of relationships and marriages. Just skin deep. Covered with sinews and flesh, but no breath. So it is still lifeless.
A little provocation, there is fight. A little correction there is strife for a month. A different opinion, there are tantrums, withdrawal, and silent treatments! Good and playful intentions are seen as an affront and disrespect. The couple is walking on egg shells!
That relationship or marriage has sinews, flesh and skin, but no breath! Skin Deep Or Real Thing?
What did God do? He didn’t give up.
He said again, Prophesy!
So you don’t give up at this stage. There is hope because it’s not completely dry bones again, at least there is sinews and skin now!
Pray this morning, that God will complete His work in your life, relationship and marriage in Jesus name! You may also use REVIVE day 5 to pray as that was what we discussed and prayed about. You will see the video below!
Bone To His Bone. Let me start by wishing you a beautiful Merry Christmas! I pray that you experience the reason for the season!
Today, we will quickly continue with our study and look at Ezekiel 37. We stooped earlier at verse 5.
Eze 37:6-7 (KJV) And I will lay sinews upon you, and will bring up flesh upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and ye shall live; and ye shall know that I am the LORD. [7] So I prophesied as I was commanded: and as I prophesied, there was a noise, and behold a shaking, and the bones came together, bone to his bone.
Where I am going exactly is verse 7!
and as I prophesied, there was a noise, and behold a shaking, and the bones came together, bone to his bone.
This morning, this is the word of the Lord for you!
Bones are coming together! Bone to his bone!
What are bones here? Take a look at this scripture here:
Gen 2:23a (KJV) And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones,
When Adam saw Eve for the first time this was what he said!
I pray for you this morning, bones are coming into alignment for you!
Things are coming together for you in a beautiful sequence.
The lines will fall on you in pleasant places. All things are working together for you!
The valley of dry bones was a hopeless situation. The bones were not only dry but they were also scattered!
Everything was in disarray!
Yet God performed a miracle!
Bone came to his bone!
God will give you a miracle in your relationship or marriage!
For singles, bones will come together! In supernatural circumstances, you will meet that God-ordained person in Jesus’ name!
For couples, in every marriage that has been “scattered” there is a coming together!
Scattered communication, scattered emotions, misplaced affection, and so many issues! Irrespective of what it is, God is performing a miracle in your marriage today!
The situation is intense with the Johnsons. The marriage is extremely troubled. There have been accusations and counter-accusations. Wrong words have been said. Strife and bitterness have become the order of the day. The marriage seems headed for a resounding crash.
Sally’s relationship with her fiancee is troubled too. She changed her status to “it’s complicated” because that is what could describe the scenarios.
Both situations above can be described as deep valley experiences.
In our study in Ezekiel 37 yesterday, we saw that the beginning instruction that God gave to the prophet is to prophesy, and say something!
The next verse says:
Eze 37:5 (KJV) Thus saith the Lord GOD unto these bones; Behold, I will cause breath to enter into you, and ye shall live:
God is revealing His plan of action! Your Relationship or Marriage Will Live
He is going to cause His breath to enter into that relationship or marriage and it will Iive.
It doesn’t matter if the marriage seems dead.
God has a plan of action. Something will “enter”
I pray for you this morning, God will breathe into your relationship, and cause it to live in Jesus’ name!
His breath is the power of the Holy Spirit.
How much of the Holy Spirit are you giving space for in your relationship or marriage?
Oh Pastor, don’t spiritualize this!
Well, no matter how disconnected you are from the Holy Spirit, no matter how far away from developing a relationship with the Holy Spirit, the truth remains that the Holy Spirit is the one that will do most of the work within you.
You are the one that will enter yourself. The breath God will cause to enter is not some air, it is the person of the Holy Spirit. Your Relationship or Marriage Will Live
If you are filled with the Holy Spirit, that is the coolest thing that can happen to you and your spouse or fiance.
The next thing is to bring alive your relationship with the Holy Spirit so that you may live and your relationship or marriage may live.
You do this by communicating with Him and listening to Him for instructions on what to do and how to do it.
You should no longer live by reactions, feelings, and sentiments! All these don’t bring life.
What will bring life is a conscious and deliberate relationship with the Holy Spirit
Open Your Mouth Sound is powerful. When a baby is born, the first sign of life is that the baby makes a sound. Once the baby cries out, everybody is happy! Why is this so? It is because sound announces life!
We started looking at Ezekiel 37 yesterday!
The situation was hopeless. It was a valley of not just dry bones, but very dry bones!
Where do we even start? If it’s somebody who just died, maybe there will be a window of hope for resurrection. But very dry bones?
Is your relationship or marriage like a valley of dry bones? Well, the first instruction God gave to Ezekiel is to open his mouth!
Eze 37:4 (KJV) Again he said unto me, Prophesy upon these bones, and say unto them, O ye dry bones, hear the word of the LORD.
You will need to do the same in your situation. Notice, God did not argue or deny the dryness of the bones!
But open your mouth and say “Hear the word of the Lord…” Open Your Mouth
This is what we are doing with REVIVE! Hear me, nothing withstands the word of God!
The teaching and prayers for REVIVE Day 2 is on Youtube and You can access it here!
So open your mouth and begin to declare life into that relationship or marriage! Begin to say the right things!
Ignore all the attitudes or uncooperative attitudes of your spouse. Focus on the instruction!
As singles, it’s the same thing. Speak life into that relationship and say what you want to experience rather than what you are experiencing!
The dry bones were in a valley…
When either of the spouse is in a valley, things are unclear, sight is obscured, and the mountaintop advantage is absent.
So ignore attitudes and pull yourselves out of that pit of depression, confusion, and irritation toward your loved one! Open Your Mouth
Where do you think all the irritation and hatred are coming from? Where do you think all the assumptions are coming from?
Sure you know they are not from the Holy Spirit. They are coming straight from hell. Demonic entities assigned to ruin things for you. But you reject their antics by opening your mouth!
Do you know you are a repairer, a renovator and restorer?
Isa 58:12b (KJV)…and thou shalt be called, The repairer of the breach, The restorer of paths to dwell in.
You are a repairer of the breach!
Take a look at the Message Translation
Isa 58:12b (MSG) …You’ll be known as those who can fix anything, restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate, make the community livable again.
Your relationship or marriage can be livable again!
How? By the word!
You build by the word.
God himself framed the world with His word. We are created in His image, so we can build our world with the Word too!
Open your mouth and let God fill it with choice words that will navigate you out of that depression and confusion!
I speak life to your relationship or marriage now! I command the power of hell to be broken over your life in Jesus’ name! If there is any sickness of pain you have, I command them to leave now in Jesus name! Be healed now!
I want to be sincere with the question I want to ask right now.
With the way your marriage is, is there still any hope yet?
Have you given up on your marriage or relationship and you are just going through the motions?
What is your response?
I want to show you something powerful this morning, which was what we taught on REVIVE Day 1. If you missed it on Mixlr earlier this morning at 5.00am, there will be a repeat broadcast on YouTube soon.
I was writing a story yesterday! Permit me to pause the story and I will be back to continue the story later!
Can These Bones Live?
Eze 37:1 (KJV) The hand of the LORD was upon me, and carried me out in the spirit of the LORD, and set me down in the midst of the valley which was full of bones,
These valleys were full of bones and Ezekiel must have been asking, what is God up to here? I mean these are dry bones and nothing much can come out of them.
Have you come to a place like that in your marriage where you believe it can’t be good again?
Have you been in a cycle of strife and bitterness that you believe marriage is not for you?
Have you had so many broken relationships as singles that you believe you should just remain single?
This is where Ezekiel found himself. Can These Bones Live?
Verse 2 makes it worse!
Eze 37:2 (KJV) And caused me to pass by them round about: and, behold, there were very many in the open valley; and, lo, they were very dry.
Lo, they were very dry! It’s not a little dry and but very dry!
Things have gone really bad!
Eze 37:3 (KJV) And he said unto me, Son of man, can these bones live? And I answered, O Lord GOD, thou knowest.
If Ezekiel were a Nigerian, he would be like “God, are you whinning me? How can they live?
He said, God, it’s you that knows!
Are you in that place already? Can your marriage be good again?
Uhmm, It’s God that knows!
When will you get married?
It’s God that knows!
This is what we addressed and prayed about this morning! Can These Bones Live?
God is asking you that question not to point you to the impossibility but to ignite your hope that He will intervene in your situation!
God will come through for you!
He will intervene!
The first step is to let all aches and bitterness go! Let God! Forgive and let God bring something new in your life!
God was trying to work on the heart of Ezekiel with that question!
God wants to heal your heart first!
Psa 12:5 (MSG) Into the hovels of the poor, Into the dark streets where the homeless groan, God speaks: “I’ve had enough; I’m on my way TO HEAL THE ACHE IN THE HEART OF the wretched.”
Decide to forgive one more time. Decide to let go of bitterness!
Watch the video below the page anytime from around 8am and use the prayers!
In The Hole – The Assault. In one deft kick, I sent him sprawling on the ground. He couldn’t believe it. In a melange of consternation and agony, he came for me. I was ready for him and I expected that. His consternation arose from the reality of a lady humiliating him like that, a rather slim lady. His agony from the lethal pain I carefully meted out to him.
I knew something like that might happen at such an ungodly hour. It was a risk I had to take as I was feeling feverish and I couldn’t stay throughout the party. I had to risk it and walk home. My bestie that would have walked me home was as drunk as a fish.
In The Hole – The Assault
This unwanted ally had approached me thinking he had easy meat to fry. He was going to sexually assault me, and I was in no mood for such. Little did he know I was a black belter.
His consternation and agony morphed into a fearful fury as he saw that I did not run from his charge. He came with his right hand raised and clenched. The mistake of his life.
He swung his right hand with all his might with the intention to knock me out, and he could have, but I dodged in a very cute way, by bending a little, and that was all the opportunity I needed. My clenched knuckles landed on the region between his thighs. His eyes popped out as he grabbed his balls, then a scream, and then he yelled in vernacular, “Ye mo gbe o, Aje lomo yi o.“
I chuckled. It’s not only a witch you will see, you will soon see a wizard. The pernicious knuckles I gave him had him in the hole, writhing in pain. I walked away.
That pain meant nothing to me. All my life had been one of pain.
In The Hole – The Assault
How did I get here? My early years were all loving and cute until the enemy interrupted me. I used to be a church girl. I still remember my first memory verse. Will never forget it.
Pro 1:10 (KJV) My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not.
I was just five years old then. Looking back, I had not only consented, but I am now the sinner enticing others. I was holed up in the hole.
It’s not even funny. Mu mum would convulse in her grave to have an inkling of how my life is.
My dad? He is alive but does not exist in my life. I care less. I hate him too.
When The Flags Go Red. Sally knew within her something is not right. But she ignored them because she felt nobody is perfect. She decided to overlook all the red signs. She should have met the couple next door, the Johnsons, the husband saw all the red flags and decided to “skip the part” Now a major issue is pulling them apart in their marriage!
What are these red flags, as singles or married? Let’s take a look at one today!
When The Flags Go Red
Red Flags Before Wedding
Lies and Deception
Your lover tells lies and you know! Really a red flag. If it has become habitual, the storyline would likely continue after the wedding. Habits don’t die easily unless one is willing to really confront them head-on. But the challenge with a habitual lair is that he or she is already courting with the spirit of deception. That same spirit responsible for always cooking up lies and telling others would also lie to the lar. This is what you call self-deception!
The habitual lair sees lying as sport or fun! This even becomes intense because God warned about this sternly!
Joh 8:44 (KJV) Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.
The devil himself is a liar and the father of all liars.
This is really fearful, to say the least.
Again, the Bible says without mincing words here that lairs have a damnable destination!
Rev 21:8 (KJV) But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, AND ALL LIARS, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
Like Bishop Oyedepo would say, Caution! Caution! Caution!
A lying spirit should not be accommodated in one’s life! When The Flags Go Red
You can even take it further and discover that all adulterous lifestyles, all cheating, unfaithfulness, or infidelity are predicated on lies! An adulterer would be a good liar!
The one flesh principle of marriage, however, stipulates that when you are telling a lie to your spouse, you are lying to yourself because you are one!
Can you now see how chaotic things can get with this undesirable habit?
A lover who lies is raising a red flag for you to see!
A spouse who lies is toying with the marriage because telling lies hobnobbing directly with the devil himself. The door will be left open and the devil will explore that loophole!
Now, people tell lies for a lot of reasons, but that won’t stop the consequences! Some were even taught to lie by parents and guardians especially if you are from a polygamous setting or a broken home!
The reality is that you have to take charge of your life! You have to be responsible. Decide to confront the habit and come open before God like Jacob had to do! When The Flags Go Red
Your openness, sincerity, and integrity will save not only save you and your family and prevent unnecessary tears and agony but would also save your regeneration unborn! Put your feet down and let the devil know you will not be a gateway to his antics and deception in your lineage!
Be sincere with your spouse knowing that you will have to face God one day and give account! Why don’t you talk to God now?
There is a Good News! As we had meetings after meeting via Whatsapp with singles and married, a lot of deep questions come up that can’t be answered with some steps but require deep counseling and therapy! Kisses and Huggs Club has several books, courses, and counseling packages that can help out. However, I see a lot of people are not making the investment maybe because they don’t know the worth or are not financially disposed. Well, the good news is that all of us can now hop on our resources and enjoy the following:
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What Version Is Your Lover? Sally is such a beautiful girl. Her gentle mien, so angelic was an attraction to George who is hopelessly in love with her. Their love story looked straight out of the movies. Everything looked good. Till they began their courtship. Well they say, beauty is only skin deep. The person who lies beneath the skin showed up. the real Goerge within George met the real Sally within Sally! Things began to fall apart and the center could not hold.
They managed and got married thinking once wedded, their demons would leave them. Alas, it was not to be. It was as if the issues got married too and followed them to honeymoon and then to home.
Every time, Sally wished she could have back the George she met when he proposed to her. George longed for the Sally that used to cause all the butterflies to spread their wings in a romantic matric within his tummy, but he couldn’t find her.
What really happened? What Version Is Your Lover?
Do you want to know what happened?
You see, when two people are together, as singles in courtship or as a married couple, and begin to “abuse” the relationship or marriage, they inadvertently create another version of a lover or spouse!
When you “mistreat” your spouse continually, taking advantage of him or her, always the one doing one wrong thing or the other, there would be a reaction. That reaction is the version of a lover you have created with perpetual carelessness and insensitivity to your spouse. There comes a time, you are almost looking for your lover and can’t find him or her, yet beside you!
Son 3:1 (KJV) By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not.
And the devil loves this. Both the person causing the issue and the one reacting are both in the flesh. Both sides believe the other is wrong. The hatred with which you hate now becomes greater than the love you use to love!
2Sa 13:15 (KJV) Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone.
May you not be found in this milieu!
What Version Is Your Lover? Depending on who is on the receiving end, you either have a version of a husband who is cranky most of the time, prefer to come home late to avoid trouble, and whose vulnerability without the home is beginning to trap him or a version of a wife who is withdrawn, withholding sex, bitter and depressed.
This happens in courtship too. You keep taking advantage of that relationship, apologizing every day and yet going back the next day to do the same thing, like you are the one anointed to create problems and the other is empowered to deal with the mess. After a while, you create a version of an angry lover who might eventually walk away.
The coordinates I am trying to establish this morning are very simple. What version of lover or spouse do you think you have created? What Version Is Your Lover?
How long will you stay in the flesh, remain stubborn, and stay in strife because you think you are right? How long will you open the door for the devil because of ego? How long will you continue to deny your weakness and bad habits that is causing woes for your spouse? For how long will you allow a spirit of deception to have a hold on your soul and refuse to confront the obvious?
Will you cry to the Lord this morning and ask for help? Will you seek the needed counsel you need or watch as thing degenerate more?
This is my conteplation this morning! You’ve got to take charge come out to open and honest and begin to treat and love your lover or spouse as the scripture recommended.
Amo 3:3 (KJV) Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
Are you truly submitting to your husband? Are you truly loving your wife? Are you truly having a godly relationship without sex as singles? Selah before you answer the questions and let them lead you to a point of change and decision!
Don’t Stop The Music! No matter how Sally tried, she was never happy! Her past seemed to haunt her at every point. Her experiences in the past had become a monster reaching beyond her present and even into her future and everything looked bleak for her. Even after the wedding when she thought things would change, they pretty much remained the same!
I want to quickly write to singles and married this morning. What is expected of you? What does God want from you? While we cannot exhaust them all, here is a quick excursion into that discourse.
Isa 35:10 (KJV) And the ransomed of the LORD shall return, and come to Zion with songs and everlasting joy upon their heads: they shall obtain joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.
If you look at the above scripture, you will see that being glad and joyful is a choice you need to make!
Don’t Stop The Music!
Go after God. Let Him be the lover of your soul before you start looking for a lover of your body. Your single years should be expended on a hot pursuit after God. You see, that is the season of your life when you have the most time. After the wedding, you are going to get so busy! You should be so busy for God that there is no time for depression or some negativities.
For those who are married, let God be your priority in your family. Let Him have the rule over your family and all affairs. Trust me, as we learned on our Whatsapp Community yesterday, to keep the music on, you will need God all the way!
Don’t Stop The Music!
I taught yesterday via WhatsApp, that what the devil wants is to mute your music and stop your dance and move from a dance ballroom into a boxing ring where all you do is fight and bicker.
Even in courtship, the devil hates your music and dance. He doesn’t want you happy! He wants your relationship riddled with quarrels.
His method is to get you to sin and offend God through sexual sins so that you can be cut off from God and His favour!
Don’t Stop The Music!
Make up your mind to live for God!
Your first song is “Nobody stops my music and dance! “
Don’t let any past issues, past abuse, or past experiences stop your music.
You need that atmosphere of joy and rejoicing to get things done and have perpetual victory as single or married.
Have you ever fought and stayed in strife with your lover or spouse till you forget what even caused it in the first place? That’s the attempt of the devil to stop your joy!
Don’t allow him. You have that choice to make! Don’t Stop The Music!
There is a way to love him without unloving God. There is a way to love him and yet be godly. There is a way to make God happy while making him glad. How do you achieve that?
You see the moment you love him to the detriment of your relationship with God, things can really go awry.
Your goal is never to offend God in your bid to make him happy. Let’s take a look at a few things.
How To Respect Your Man
Respect
Col 3:18-19 (AMP) Wives, be subject to your husbands [ subordinate and adapt yourselves to them ], as is right and fitting and your proper duty in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives [ be affectionate and sympathetic with them ] and do not be harsh or bitter or resentful toward them.
Singles:
How To Respect Your Man
Respect is a major issue for men. An average man out there is egocentric. Your ego is always there even after giving your life to Jesus. There is nothing wrong with ego, but being overly egocentric is not too wise; especially when you take it out on her all the time. It is this issue of ego that men have that makes respect a big issue for them. It is not uncommon to hear from men, even when you are not yet married, “You don’t respect me!”
As singles, there should be a limit to which you can be subservient because you are not yet married. You see, until you are married properly, and legally, there are some things that should not be dabbled into. You cannot say in your bid to respect a husband-to-be, you now allow yourself to be trampled over. You cannot lose your virtue in your bid to respect your fiance. Let me explain further with an example. He wants sex. You know it is a sin and God frowns at it.
You are not being respectful when you cooperate with him to disobey God. That is not being respectful, that is being disobedient! You see, you cannot satisfy your fiance at the expense of God. If you try that, you are sowing the seeds that will truncate that very relationship. It is God that will keep your relationship up until your marriage, not your cooperation with sin.
Another example. He has a family function. He asks you to come over and be part of the function. Being your future husband, you obeyed. You went there, and it’s getting late and you ask where you will pass the night. He says you are sleeping over with him. You say, No, you are not yet married and he gets angry. At that point, you are either going to “respect” him or “respect” God!
To wrap this up, respect for him that translates to disrespect for God should never be entertained. Let your respect for him be guided by God’s word. Respect does not mean being stupid or foolish! Anything you try to do to respect him which translates to disrespecting God will backfire. It just won’t work out, and at the end of the day, all your bid to respect him will end in disrespect of your person.
Married Couples:
How To Respect Your Man
For married couples, it is also a major issue. The Bible advises that as a wife, you should submit to your own husband. Respect for your husband is not just a physical issue; it is a deeply spiritual issue. The devil knows this and capitalizes on it. As a wife, if your husband keeps saying you don’t respect him, don’t ignore it. You need to get to the root of it.
Usually, you will not agree with him when he says that and it even hurts you to hear that, but if he keeps saying that, you need to calm down and not flare up. Usually, men are thinkers, and before they say something, they have thought about it and concluded. Of course, their conclusions can be very selfish and wrong most times, but for peace to reign in your home, don’t ignore him when he says that.
What do you do if he keeps saying that and yet you can’t see what he is saying? As I said, men and women seem to be from different planets because they think and process differently. So, what you need to do is to seek to understand what he sees and wants in terms of respect.
What is the specific definition of respect for your husband?
Is it in terms of greeting and genuflecting when you greet? Is it in terms of cooking certain delicacies? Is it in terms of food is ready by the time he gets home? Is it in terms of your cooperation with him in spiritual things? Is it in terms of your willingness and excitement in bed? Is it in terms of your career and business? Is it in terms of the way you answer him back when he talks? Is it in terms of how you treat him in the presence of his friends or your own friends? Is it in terms of finances? Is it in terms of your spending habits? Is it in terms of how you treat the children? Is it in terms of the kinds of friends you keep? And the list goes on!
So you see, why the statement, “You don’t respect me!” should not be ignored? As couples, go out eating or when you are very relaxed, say something like this:
“Dear, You know I love you? I want you to know that. I know you often say that I don’t respect you, but I really want to make you happy. Do you know sometimes, I don’t really understand what you meant by that? Can you explain this to me further? How do you want me to respect you? Tell me in practical terms and give me examples if possible so that I can understand better. I don’t want anything coming in between us, you know you are my crown.”
When you say something like that, watch your tone and your countenance! Don’t raise your voice, maintain eye contact, smile all the while, and touch him while saying that. When he starts trying to explain, don’t get angry. That is not the time to get hurt over one use of a word; it is time to try to get what he is really trying to say. Even if he gets back to raising his voice while trying to explain, allow it, because that shows it is really a big issue for him, so absorb it because your goal is not to argue or defend yourself, it is your goal to let him explain so that you understand what he really wants.
After he is done, and you get what he is really saying, hold his hands and tell him, you are going to work at it. Tell him you will need his help by being patient and gentle with you. When you are done, ask him to pray for you! He might be shy or say he doesn’t know how to pray if that is the first time, but tell him you just want him to bless you because he is anointed as the head of the house.
As you do this, you will see some improvements. That statement, “You don’t respect me!” will gradually reduce with time.
Why I have gone to this extent to break it down? I am committed to the success of your relationship and marriage. It is my passion and assignment and God has given me tremendous grace to do that. I pray God will grant you grace to follow His principles which will ensure the success of your relationship/marriage.
Overcoming Backwardness In Life. Sally has been experiencing setback after setbacks. It just seems everything she did never prospered! Even though she is still single, you can see lines of frustration on her forehead. She looks lost on what to do. She is losing count of dates and broken engagements. It would all look promising, only for her joy to be shattered.
The Johnsons who are already married are not spared either. They seem to be revolving around a circle. Like the proverbial rocking chair, they are involved in many businesses and activities, but no progress at the end of the day!
Overcoming Backwardness In Life
You see there is such a thing called backwardness. There is a wicked spirit whose assignment is to bring backwardness so that the saints of God can be wearied and assume a position that nothing is really working.
Once on this lane, it becomes impossible to stay in faith as every effort to believe God is frustrated!
See the reality ion backwardness in the scriptures:
Jer 7:24 (KJV) But they hearkened not, nor inclined their ear, but walked in the counsels and in the imagination of their evil heart, and went backward, and not forward.
It is actually possible for a person to go backward and not forward. According to the verse above, the chief cause of this is a refusal to listen to God, but rather choosing to follow one’s own counsel and imagination!
Take a look at other translations:
Jer 7:24 (MSG) “‘But do you think they listened? Not a word of it. They did just what they wanted to do, indulged any and every evil whim and got worse day by day.
The Amplified Version is even more intense:
Jer 7:24 (AMPC) But they would not listen to and obey Me or bend their ear [to Me], but followed the counsels and the stubborn promptings of their own evil hearts and minds, and they turned their backs and went in reverse instead of forward.
I pray for you this morning, you will not go in reverse in Jesus’ name!
Take these prayer points: Overcoming Backwardness In Life
Every satanic investment in my life is wasted, in the name of Jesus.
Every power that swallows divine opportunities, dies, in the name of Jesus.
I enter into my prophetic destiny, in the name of Jesus.
Betty gave her all to that relationship. It was the very fast time she would fall in love, is it meant a lot to her. She saw nothing other than a glorious wedding, a blissful marriage and wonderful children ahead. She fantasized herself being with Bode, loving each other as married couples.
She nearly failed her exam at a time because she was in love. The love was like drugs to her. She thought about nothing other than Bode. Her friends told her to slow down but she told them they were jealous and its because theirs weren’t working!
“Nobody will mess up my romantic story,” she would say.
As time progressed, quarrels reared their heads. The love story began to develop unwanted twists that nearly ended the story abruptly. But she hung on.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was when Betty discovered that Bode was cheating on her with three different ladies, one of them being her best friend.
Her hearts was shattered, scattered and battered.
“All men are scum!” She said.
She went from anger into hurt and then bitterness. From there she entered acute feminism and she was beginning to sing that “marriage is not for me”
Have you ever find yourself in this kind of scenario?
I have a word of the Lord for you this morning.
Even though you are hurting and bitter, God will heal your soul! Yes, He promised that!
Psa 23:3 (KJV) HE RESTORETH MY SOUL: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
He would not just heal your soul which its battered, He will restore it and reset it! Then He will now lead you into His God’s ordained plan for you maritally.
So when you are hurting, don’t stay in that hurt, Go to God and let God do only what God can do.
For married couples, you have to intentionally forgive. You won’t be able to do much in a state of hurt or bitterness. Will your spouse offend you? Severally? So what do you do? You keep forgiving! You don’t even want anything to block your prayers or render them effective. May our lives not be wasted by unnecessary hurt and bitterness in Jesus name!
I pray for you, healing and restoration will come to your soul in Jesus Name!
Loving more As Singles And Married. There are practical ways to love that special one more whether you are just in a relationship or you are married. There are things you can do to avoid unnecessary quarrels that can lead to break-ups, separation, or even divorce! I will like to explore some of these things with the help of the Holy Spirit. I am sure somebody is out there who will learn something.
So how do you love that special one more? Here we go!
Loving More As Singles And Married
Singles
1. The leading that you cannot do without If you are a child of God, you must be led by Him. That is the best way to love that special one! You are not just in it for fun or for a fling, you are there because there is leading.
You see, there is such a thing as being led by God. He leads you, He directs you, and He shows you who to hang out with and who to discard. He becomes your shepherd.
Some people actually assume that God is not interested in their relationship or marriage. Probably God is too busy. Who says?
Listen to me, God is more interested in your relationship and marriage than you are! That’s the truth. Do you know that marriage was not a man’s idea? It was originally God’s idea!
That is why I wonder about those who are attempting to redefine marriage. They are trying to alter what they did not initiate. Confusion is bound to be the order of the day!
Be led, my dear people! There are a lot of things attempting to lead you. Your adrenaline will want to lead you. Your emotions will want to lead you. Your environment will want to lead you. Your friends will want to lead you. Your parents will attempt to lead you.
But listen to me, there is no leading like that leading of the Holy Spirit. He can never lead you wrong. His leading will end in joy. His leading is His perfect will for you!
Oh, what peace engulfs you when you are led by God? It is the peace that passes all understanding!
“And God’s peace [ shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace ] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (Php 4:7, AMP)
Loving More As Singles And Married. God is the only one that knows the person that will love you now and will still love you in another forty years! He is the only one that knows the person that will be okay with your intelligence, creativity, and sometimes foolishness and stupidity!
You cannot even see beyond your nose. It pays to follow His leading!
How do you know His leading?
It begins with a relationship with God Himself. If you distance yourself from God and His fellowship, you will miss his leading. Then you need to get filled with the Holy Spirit with the evidence of Speaking in tongues. That is very important!
When you do that, He would begin to speak to you through His Holy Spirit. When you are with the wrong person, He will tell you. When somebody is deceiving you, He will tell you! He will warn you against the wicked man and froward man whose mouth speaks perverse things. He will warn you against the strange woman who flatters with her mouth but whose path leads to death!
Make up your mind to be led by Him. That is how to avoid heartaches and unnecessary agony!
Married
Loving More As Singles And Married
If you are already married, make sure you continue in His leading in every other area of your life. That would guarantee unending peace. Your continual seeking of His face brings peace into your marriage. Oh yes, I know there are some of you who are married and you think you are with the wrong person. What do you do? Leave such a person? No! God does not want divorce or separation unless you can no longer help it.
You can go back to God, and God can re-write your history. You can fight for your marriage and home in the place of prayer.
Do you have an erring husband? You can handle him in prayer. Do you have an uncooperative wife? Take it to the Lord in prayer.
A lot of God’s children are no longer conscious of the power they possess, and that is in the place of prayer. When last did you go on your knees concerning your spouse? When last did you besiege the heavens, and the angels of God will have no choice but to move in your favour?
You bought her pieces of jewelry and she is still depressed and you are wondering what happened? It is because you didn’t pray in the morning. Loving More As Singles And Married
Fight for your marriage, not by refusing to cook for him or by ignoring her, but by going into your prayer closet.
I tell you, heaven will hear you, and earth will cooperate with you!
Handling Your ‘Ex’ As Singles And Married. Break ups in relationships or divorce in marriage are not the best things to look forward to or desire to experience. God hates divorce! However, it happens to a few, even though that is not God’s best for His children.
After broken relationships, separation, or divorce, there will definitely be hurt, betrayal, pain, tears, regret, and heartache. But make up your mind to receive God’s help. Who is at fault is not the issue but getting healed from every hurt. In the name of Jesus, He will give you double for your trouble. God will compensate you so much, He will make you forget.
Here are 5 ways to handle your ‘Ex’ so you don’t become a bitter person but a better person.
Handling Your ‘Ex’ As Singles And Married
1. Accept the fact that the relationship has ended Some people may be in denial, hoping and praying something will happen. That something will happen is not your prerogative. It takes two committed people to sustain a relationship.
If your ‘Ex’ is not willing, you can’t change that. Don’t try to put a comma where a full stop already existed. Until you accept this fact you are not ready to move forward. You have to let go of the past so you can enter into the new. Even God had to recognize the death of Moses before Joshua can succeed him.
Handling Your ‘Ex’ As Singles And Married
2. Reduce all forms of communication to the barest minimum All forms of communication should be reduced totally. This will help you avoid double dating and cheating on your new lover. All visits, calls, chats, and texts should be cut off. Some people don’t want to be committed to you yet want to enjoy your company. Please don’t allow this.
They will only end up wasting your time, get you emotionally vulnerable, and then hurt you more. Don’t keep checking their Facebook status to catch up on what is happening in their lives. Don’t get jealous when you see them with someone else. Let your ‘Ex’ be. Don’t beg to be loved. Some relationships just can’t work.
Handling Your ‘Ex’ As Singles And Married
3. Learn from your past relationship The best revenge you can give the devil is to make up your mind to become better. Don’t let the devil have the last laugh. You might have been cheated or outsmarted, just learn from your past.
It takes two to tangle, so there would have been one or two mistakes you made. Don’t be in a rush to enter another relationship. Don’t try to prove any point.
You are not running a rat race nor are you competing with anyone. Go at God’s pace. Ask questions, what went wrong? What were the wrong choices I made? The questions are not to make you depressed but to make you wiser. Learn human behaviors and tendencies. Learn how not to treat a lover. Learn that ultimately it is only God that keeps and sustains a relationship. Learn that above all God should be top of your priority list.
For people who have been married once, divorce is never the best option for you. God doesn’t want it. But if it has happened, well, you have to trust God to move on, once all hope of reconciliation is out or when there is violence and abuse involved. In addition to what we mentioned above, the key to moving on here is forgiveness. Bitterness will crush you more, so get healed. Don’t use the children to fight back lest you plant bitterness in the heart as well.
I pray God will give you strength in Jesus’ name. Do all you can to fight for your marriage. The consequences of separation and divorce are not what anybody should go through.
I pray that my God will restore that which is lost and fill your mouth with laughter again in Jesus’ name
When God created Adam, the first thing he saw was work. God told him to dress the garden. He bonded with work. Since all humanity was in Adam, we inherited the same disposition. That is why that man around you will always get his fulfillment from work.
When God created Eve, the first thing she saw was a man “toasting” her and staring at her beauty! That is why that woman around you loves to be “toasted,” and gets her fulfillment from home and family.
The man is work oriented and the woman is relationship oriented.
Why Are We So Different?
When a man is out of work or is not working, it affects his self-esteem. When a woman’s love life or family is in disarray, it affects her self-esteem.
When a man meets his friend after many years, the first question is “where do you work now?” When women meet each other after many years, they are showing pictures of the family from their phones!
A man is fulfilled after a good day of work. A woman is fulfilled if she has been loved up with tender loving care since morning!
Why Are We So Different?
Husbands who are workaholics need to be careful. It is a point of quarrel in your home and you may not really know! Ladies who neglect home and care for family need to be careful as well. It will always lead to issues when you fail to care for your home.
Men, leave work at work and don’t bring work home. When you are coming home, think family, think about your wife, be romantic, and your marriage will get better.
Ladies, show interest in your husbands while they work! It will work wonders! Men, go and talk to her while she is getting food ready in the kitchen. She is likely to find that romantic!
There must be balance! Don’t allow her to see your laptop as her rival. Study her love language and speak that language.
Ladies, guys are logical. Be involved in his thoughts. When you are disconnected from him, he gets jealous and he actually begins to think you are someone else!
Keep communication open. Talk about what has been bringing frustration and confront them, rather than sweep them under the carpet.
Why Are We So Different?
Be sincere with each other, and do not hide things from each other. Talk about how you feel, and don’t expect your spouse to be the Holy Spirit that knows all things.
Work like a team and don’t be grouchy over everything. Don’t get hurt by every statement. Be calm, and be patient. Lock the devil out of your home by walking in love with each other and praying for one another.
The same principles work for singles who are in courtship. Make sure there is balance. You can’t say you are busy at work and have not called her in one week! There will be issues. Also, you can’t expect her to be very happy when you are not working and yet you are planning a wedding. What if a man can’t find a job in time? Then find work to do. You may be out of a job, but never be out of work. Simply find something to do and while you are at it, heaven will kiss the earth on your behalf and help will arise for you!
1. You will be sincere with her. One of the first indications of true love is sincerity. Love is genuinely truthful. Love is truthful to a fault. The concept that God has of marriage is that of a covenant perspective. You are one. The moment you begin to hide stuff, it’s like a beehive of troubles.
As singles in courtship, if you are not sincere, it is already founded on shaky ground. It is sincerity that eventually establishes trust. Trust, however you see it, is an important ingredient in marriage. Without it, the marriage will not survive.
If you notice that your loved one is habitually insincere, it is in order that you examine that relationship all over again.
It goes without saying that what you court is what you’ll marry. If you court the truth, you’ll enjoy it in marriage, if you court lies, your guess is as good as mine.
If there is an issue of mistrust and you are already married, seek help. Seek counsel. Don’t keep quiet till it degenerates to a point you cannot manage it.
Ways That Show You Love Her
2. You will express your love to her
Where your treasure is, that is where your heart will be. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. So, I really have a problem with folk who don’t appreciate the ones they love and verbalize their commitments from time to time.
Expression of love within the context of a godly courtship should be verbal, not physical. There is a way we do things in the kingdom.
When a guy begins to get physical on the first date, then your antenna should go up and you should know who you are dealing with.
You get to know a person through interaction first. Not through touch.
As a young lady, you should not be freely available to be touched, smooched, and petted when you are not married. Expression of love should be contained within the parameters of verbal communication.
In marriage, you need to understand that praise and affirmations are like food to a woman. She has to be complimented. The tendency is that if you don’t compliment her regularly, you will lose her emotionally.
Again, you need to know that complimenting her, praising her, and affirming her is actually protecting her. When you don’t do these, you increase her vulnerability because people will keep complimenting her outside.
If you are in courtship, and communication is defective, praise and affirmation are absent, you need to know it is not likely to improve after marriage.
As a guy, if you have not been constantly verbalizing your love for her, you’ve not been praising her, you really need to repent of your “sins” and then make sure you change.
If a guy grows up In a family where they are non-expressive, praise and affirmation are non-existent, he is more likely to find it difficult to naturally do all of these.
However, it is never an excuse. As a man, you have a responsibility to make your relationship/marriage work by making the needed adjustments. That is what makes you a man.
Also to note, there could be needy ladies, who are too overbearing on the man, your fiance or husband is not the Holy Spirit, he would not be able to fully satisfy some very deep longings that only God’s word will sort out.
