That is respect for individuals. People are like ladders. Does he treat people well? How about his mum, sisters, father, colleagues, etc. Is she courteous? Is she respectful? Does she disdain folks with a passion?
6. The Test of Excellence
That is wisdom. Is he hungry for wisdom or does he thinks he knows it all? A friend who isolates himself will crash. He or she cannot be corrected. There are no authority figures that can speak to him or her.
Let me tell you something here. The moment you look at a person and there is nobody you can report him to, there are no regards for parents or pastors, he is just an island by himself, you need to reconsider such friendships.
It is a trap of the devil and such tendencies are symptomatic of an unhealthy outlook to life.
7. The Test of God’s Fear
He must love God. She must be a God lover. Does he value God and His word? Does she revere God? This is the ultimate acid test. If he doesn’t love God, he cannot love you!
If he treats the things of God shabbily, he will end up treating you the same way. Let him or her be a person that fears God!
It is not enough to say one is born again these days, because the term has been grossly misapplied. It is not even enough to say one is a pastor or a choir leader or administrator in church; the question is does he or she fear God?
It was the fear of God that made Joseph run away from adultery. It was lack of God’s fear that made Samson with all his anointing to get into sexual sins repeatedly until he brought himself down. God gave him a long rope because the scripture says he judged Israel for twenty years.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the Spirit of wisdom to discern and choose that which is good for my destiny.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Holy Spirit, fill me afresh with your wisdom in the affairs of my relationship.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 21:5 MSG Careful planning puts you ahead in the long run; hurry and scurry puts you further behind.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Commit your ways unto the Lord
Is he or she focused? Where is his passion? A visionless man is so easy to identify. His speech will betray him because the mouth speaks out of the abundance of the heart. Once you know a particular friendship is getting deepened, ask a lot of questions when you can still reason well before emotions take over.
The world is full of people who will readily compromise and who lack focus. You haven’t been together for long and he or she is already asking for sex? That is gross irresponsibility. Run from such people, they are not your friends!
Jesus said; “What a generation! No sense of God! No focus to your lives!” -Luke 9:41a (MSG)
You ask him what his job is, and he says “He is planning to travel out of the country.”
“Since when?”
“Well, for like three years now.”
Is that a job? Why must a young person stop his or her life because of plans to travel?
4. The Test of Sincerity.
That is openness. Is he sincere about his faults, weaknesses, feelings? Is she willing to talk about them or does she pretend?
It is dangerous to walk with someone who lives in a delusion of grandeur. Some of the most dangerous sets of people are those who are self-deceptive. They can abort twenty times and simply use some scriptures to cover up. If it was done in ignorance, that is another thing, because God cleanses you and you can start your life all over again when you genuinely repent.
But I am talking of those who have successfully combined this sinful lifestyle with serving God alongside. I don’t care if he is a pastor or she is a minstrel, if he or she uses scriptures to justify a habitual sin that even an unbeliever will often refrain from, you should run from such people and not be joined in their unrepentant sinful adventures.
An insincere guy will lure you into sexual sin and then turn around to say you seduced him. What are you doing with such people? An insincere lady will offer her body to get some money and then turn back to say you forced her. That is nothing short of wickedness. Those are not friends! He says he is a pastor and he slides his hands into your blouse each time you visit his office.
I don’t care how much ‘anointing’ you think he has, he is a charlatan! What counseling are you looking for with such people, run for your life because there are counsels that can cancel destinies.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the Spirit of wisdom to discern and choose that which is good for my destiny.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Holy Spirit, fill me afresh with your wisdom in the affairs of my relationship.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Careful planning puts you ahead in the long run; hurry and scurry puts you further behind. – Proverbs 21:5 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Commit your ways unto the Lord
I know that there are no perfect persons and we are all projects in the hands of God, however, there are basic traits to watch out for generally. While you may not be able to find a person that successfully combines all these, the qualities should guide you in your decision. If a person does not have character defects and does not live in habitual sin, some of these qualities can be improved upon by asking God for His grace.
1. The Test Of Integrity.
Test him for faithfulness and integrity in little and big things. Make sure she has integrity and her words and actions line up. Integrity is very important because that is what will eventually preserve you.
The integrity of the upright shall guide them: but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them. -Proverbs 11:3 (KJV)
God loves integrity. In Job 2:3, God boasted about Job and he mentioned his integrity. Integrity in that verse means ‘innocence.’
The potential guy or the lady must have integrity as well. It is a great legacy to pass to the children. Integrity is from the word ‘Integral” meaning one. You are supposed to be the same person within and without.
Don’t marry a gentle saint on Sundays but a vicious man on Mondays. Be careful of dual personalities who seem to give their lives to Jesus one moment and then take the life back the next moment. How will you know all these? These are the things you will find out when you are friends.
That is why pre-marital sex should be avoided because it will get you confused and distracted. You see, the moment you are illegally bonded together in pre-marital sex, the obvious character defects that others can see will mean nothing to you.
They will ask you questions like, “What are you doing with that kind of person?” And you will be like; ‘leave me alone, I love him, he will change!’
You see, you have not even changed yourself! You are not the Holy Spirit who changes people! What the scripture says is that you should not be unequally yoked!
Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands? -2Corintians 6:14-15 (MSG)
2. The Test Of Diligence.
You cannot afford to marry a lazy man or an indolent woman. It will slow your journey down. Diligence is measured with so many indices like tenacity, business acumen, career pursuit, doggedness, and so on. You may not have so much today, but with diligence in a potential spouse, you can be sure you will be great in life.
Do you see a man diligent and skillful in his business? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before obscure men. -Proverbs 22:29 (AMP)
You cannot afford to commit your life to the hands of a lazy person. That is subjecting your life to unnecessary afflictions that could have been avoided.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the Spirit of wisdom to discern and choose that which is good for my destiny.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Holy Spirit, fill me afresh with your wisdom in the affairs of my relationship.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Careful planning puts you ahead in the long run; hurry and scurry put you further behind. – Proverbs 21:5 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Commit your ways unto the Lord
Distractions will come at you as you plan to manage your time well. They come straight at you, heavy and unrelenting. You have to learn how to identify and stop them if you want to make good use of your time. You have to learn to remove distractions.
Distractions could be from friends, family and even you. There will be good distractions that look pleasing and reasonable but are not pushing you forward.
For instance, you want to study your bible for the evening and a friend visits and asks that you both study for a test tomorrow.
It’s a good thing – studying for a test, but is it in your plan? No. You have to learn to remove distractions. Rather than study or tell your friend you can’t study with him because of bible study, ask him to join you for bible study. After that, you can both study for the test.
Ensure you explain to him first what you are planning to do and if he agrees to wait or join you, fine. And if he refuses, well you can try to further explain to him. But you have to learn to remove distractions.
I’m sure he will agree. If he doesn’t, well, it’s not your fault, you just have to stick to your plan.
Remember, there’s a time for everything under the sun.
There is a powerful concept of time that you should know – time lost can never be recovered. It’s not a piece of paper that can be found or a missing person. It goes away and becomes history to you. So you have to learn to remove distractions.
Always put this thought before you as you do things. Ask yourself ‘What I am doing now, is it what I should be doing?’
May God grant you more insight about the concept of time. Amen.
Action plan: Lord, give me the strength and wisdom to handle any distraction that comes my way. Teach me how to remove distractions. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Action plan: Stay firm in how you manage your time.
Temiloluwa ensured that everyone around her felt her sadness and displeasure. She sighed sadly, squeezed her face, hissed many times, kept a low profile and didn’t give much attention when spoken to. God had not answered her prayers. This was like the hundredth time she had asked for Tina, her friend, who was failing miserably at school. Her last test score was poor and the rest of the class made fun of her when the teacher announced the scores.
Wasn’t God supposed to answer prayers? Wasn’t He the All-Powerful and Great God? The All-Knowing, All-Seeing and All-Doing God? She couldn’t help but wonder why God didn’t want Tina to do well at school.
‘You have been sighing and frowning since you came back from school and all morning too,’ her mother said to her later that day. ‘What’s going on with you? Care to share?’
‘It’s God,’ Temiloluwa replied.
‘What about God?’
‘He doesn’t want to answer my prayers.’
‘What have you been praying for?’
‘I have been asking Him to help Tina pass her exams and tests at school.’
‘And how do you know so?’ her mother asked again.
‘She failed the test again yesterday. Doesn’t God answer prayers anymore?’
‘Of course, He still answers prayers and will always do so.’ Her mother wondered why she would ask such a question.
Then why hasn’t He answered my prayers? Why is Tina still failing her tests?’
‘Is she studying as she should? Does she listen in class and understand her lessons?’
‘She does, mum. She sits beside me in class.’
‘Have you tried asking her what the problem is and maybe help her study after school?’
Temiloluwa paused and thought about this. She had never asked Tina that. ‘No, mommy. I have never asked her what the problem was.’
‘There goes your answered prayer.’
Have you ever felt like Temiloluwa?
Apart from praying for someone, you can always ask them what the problem is and see if you can help. That can be your answered prayers sometimes.
Temiloluwa asked Tina what the problem was and discovered that Tina felt timid in asking questions when she didn’t understand the lessons. With this knowledge, Temiloluwa was able to explain and teach her friend, and in no time, Tina’s grades improved at school.
