by Praise Eniolorunda | Aug 3, 2025 | Singles and Married
Reading Time: 3 minutes
Wholeness Before Romance
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. spread the word!
There is that space between “I’m working on myself” and “I think I’m ready to love someone,” but you’re also dealing with memories, soul ties, silent temptations, past mistakes, and the fear that you might not get it right.
I used to think I just needed to wait, pray, and stay busy. But healing and wholeness go beyond that. There are layers to it, things you won’t post about. Areas where it’s not about doing devotions or attending programs—it’s more about dealing with the stuff you’ve been ignoring:
That situationship you never fully healed from.
The attention you still crave from people who aren’t serious.
The guilt from compromising, even when you knew better.
That fake confidence you put on to act like this season isn’t hard sometimes.
“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” — Matthew 5:8
So yes, wholeness before romance. No pretense whatsoever. Rather, you are you, just growing to become the best version of what God has ordained you to be.
Areas of wholeness
Wholeness here means you’re no longer depending on people for validation. It means your heart has been checked, your boundaries are clear, and your peace isn’t easily shaken just because someone left or didn’t choose you. It’s learning how to guard your heart without hardening it, and that takes real growth, not just time.
Spiritually, it’s about more than reading your Bible or showing up to church. This is about whether your life is actually built around God, or if He’s just someone you run to when your plans don’t work out. If your connection with God rises and falls based on your emotions or your relationship status, something’s off. Being spiritually whole means your identity is rooted in what God says about you—not how lonely you feel, who left, or how long you’ve been waiting. You’re not searching for someone to complete you spiritually; you’re learning to walk with God daily, not just when it’s convenient or when life gets hard. That kind of stability matters, especially when emotions get involved.
Sexually, it’s not just about whether you’re sleeping with someone or not. You can be physically abstinent and still be struggling. Sexual wholeness has more to do with mindset, discipline, and how you respond to pressure, temptation, and loneliness. Are you having conversations you shouldn’t? Are you feeding thoughts and fantasies that slowly wear you down? Are you excusing small compromises because “it’s not that deep”? This is where honesty matters. Sexual purity isn’t just about rules—it’s about not giving yourself away in pieces because you’re tired of waiting. It’s about choosing discipline even when nobody’s clapping for it, because you know your body is not a bargaining chip—it’s sacred. And even if you’ve messed up before, sexual wholeness is still possible when you let God deal with the root, not just the symptoms.
Before bringing someone else into your life, there are certain areas you have to be honest about. Not because you have to be perfect, but because if you’re not whole in these parts of your life, you may end up carrying confusion, frustration, or even damage into the relationship.
Emotionally, it’s easy to think you’ve moved on, until something small exposes the fact that you haven’t. You may not be dating anyone, but your emotions are still tied to someone you stopped talking to months ago. Or you find yourself getting anxious, overly attached, or shutting down quickly because of unresolved issues from your past.
In conclusion
Wholeness isn’t about getting ready for someone—it’s about finally showing up for yourself. The emptiness you feel isn’t fixed by being chosen; it’s healed by letting God into the parts you’ve avoided. Love won’t save you. But God will. And that’s where real healing begins.
by Miracle Adedugba | Jul 23, 2025 | Singles and Married
Reading Time: 3 minutes
Loving Someone Who Isn’t Ready Yet
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
Loving Someone Who Isn’t Ready Yet
There’s a special kind of ache that comes from loving someone who isn’t ready. You see the potential, the prayers you’ve prayed seem to be forming in them but they’re not quite there yet. You’re emotionally invested, but spiritually torn. And so, you wait. Now, the real question is: did God ask you to wait?
Many times, we romanticize waiting. We tell ourselves we’re being patient, loyal, and long-suffering. Meanwhile, love without wisdom is an idol, and you may unknowingly be putting yourself in the place of God. If they’re not ready for commitment, consistency, or growth, then you need to call yourself back. If you keep hoping they will change, you have to ask: Is this faith or fear of letting go?
God’s kind of waiting always brings peace, not anxiety. He doesn’t keep us in emotional limbo. When God says “wait,” it comes with assurance, clarity, and purpose, not confusion or heartbreak. “For God is not the author of confusion but of peace…” (1 Corinthians 14:33).
It’s okay to love someone or something deeply and still choose obedience. God will never ask you to lose yourself while trying to prove your love to someone else. If they are not ready, that’s it. No amount of waiting can make them become who only God can shape them to be.
Sometimes, the most powerful display of love is letting go and trusting that if it’s God’s will, He’ll bring it back matured, whole, and aligned. Until then, choose your peace, clarity, and God’s timing over emotional desperation. “He has made everything beautiful in its time…” (Ecclesiastes 3:11).
Here are five steps to detach from someone who isn’t ready yet:
1. Accept the truth
Stop holding on to their potential. You may see glimpses of who they could become, but love must be rooted in reality. God doesn’t call us to wait on maybes. If they’re not showing up with clarity, commitment, or growth, believe what you see, not just what you hope for.
2. Pour your emotions out to God
God can handle your heartbreak. He can bring the tears, confusion, and disappointment to Him without filters. This is where healing begins. “Cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)
3. Create a healthy distance
Love doesn’t mean unlimited access. Guard your heart by setting boundaries emotionally, mentally, and even digitally. Muting, unfollowing, or creating space isn’t cruelty; it’s wisdom. You can’t heal while staying where you’re constantly triggered.
4. Reclaim your identity and purpose
You are not less because someone wasn’t ready for you. You are still chosen, loved, and whole in Christ. So, refocus on who you are and what God has called you to do. Your worth is not tied to their readiness.
5. Surrender the outcome to God
Let go of the emotional control. Trust that if it’s truly God’s will, it will return whole, healed, and aligned. Until then, choose obedience and peace over those pressures.
Dear KHCites, love is a beautiful thing, but it must be mutual, mature, and God-led. If they’re not ready, don’t stay stuck. Trust God with your heart. He knows how to restore, redirect, and reward those who obey even when it hurts.
Shalom!
Loving Someone Who Isn’t Ready Yet
by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Jul 22, 2025 | Singles and Married
Reading Time: 3 minutes
How to Fight for Your Relationship as a Single Person
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
Being single doesn’t mean you’re sidelined in the journey of love—it’s an opportunity to prepare, grow, and actively position yourself for the relationship God has designed for you. While society often pressures singles to “wait” passively, Scripture encourages us to take intentional steps toward the future He has promised. Here’s how you can fight for your future relationship while still single.
1. Fight for Your Own Growth
The foundation of any healthy relationship starts with you. Use this season to become the best version of yourself spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Focus on developing qualities like patience, kindness, humility, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). Invest time in personal hobbies, education, or skills that align with your purpose. When you prioritize growth, you not only honor God but also prepare yourself to contribute positively to a future partnership.
Proverbs 4:7 says, “The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom, and whatever you get, get insight.” Wisdom and maturity are gifts you bring into any relationship, so start cultivating them now.
2. Fight Through Prayer and Fasting
One of the most powerful ways to fight for your future relationship is through prayer and fasting. Ask God to prepare both you and your future spouse. Pray for clarity about His timing, protection from unhealthy relationships, and guidance toward the right person. Fasting adds spiritual intensity to your prayers, demonstrating your dependence on God rather than your own efforts.
Matthew 7:7 reminds us, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Trust that God hears your cries and is working behind the scenes to align everything according to His perfect plan.
3. Fight Against Negative Mindsets
Society bombards singles with messages of inadequacy, loneliness, and impatience. Combat these lies by renewing your mind with truth from Scripture. Remind yourself daily that your identity isn’t tied to relationship status—it’s rooted in Christ (Ephesians 2:10). Refuse to settle out of desperation or fear of being alone. Instead, embrace singleness as a gift (1 Corinthians 7:32-35) and use this time to deepen your walk with God.
Philippians 4:8 encourages us to focus on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. Fill your mind with these truths instead of doubt or discouragement.
4. Fight for Healthy Boundaries
Even as a single person, boundaries are essential. They protect your heart and ensure you’re pursuing relationships that honor God. Set clear standards for the type of person you’ll date—for example, someone who shares your faith, values, and commitment to Christ. Avoid compromising just because you feel pressure to be in a relationship.
Proverbs 4:23 advises, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Establishing boundaries demonstrates self-respect and attracts partners who value you appropriately.
5. Fight by Building Strong Friendships
Healthy friendships lay the groundwork for strong romantic relationships. Surround yourself with godly men and women who model Christlike character and can offer wise counsel when needed. Learn how to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts, and show empathy within friendships—skills that will serve you well in marriage.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 highlights the importance of community: “Two are better than one… If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” Cultivate meaningful connections that reflect God’s love and prepare you for partnership.
Fighting for your relationship as a single person means trusting God’s timing while actively preparing yourself for the blessing He has in store. It’s not about sitting idly by but engaging in the process of becoming ready—spiritually, emotionally, and relationally.
Remember, Psalm 37:4 promises, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” As you focus on growing closer to God and living purposefully, He will align your life with His plans, including the right relationship at the right time. So keep fighting—not out of desperation, but out of faith. Your future begins today.
by Ogbonnaya Akpoke | Jun 22, 2025 | Singles and Married
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Love Should Feel Safe
Love should feel like safety, not tension.
Not walking on eggshells.
Not hiding how you really feel just to “keep the peace.”
Whether you’re dating, married, or maybe somewhere in between (lol), one thing is true:
If love doesn’t feel safe, something’s really off.
Singles, listen closely:
If you’re constantly questioning yourself…
If you are afraid to speak your mind…
If every disagreement feels like a battle you’re scared to start…
Then you’re not in a safe space.
Before you commit your heart, ask:
Can I be vulnerable without being shamed?
Can I say “I’m not okay” without being ignored?
Can I make a mistake and still be treated with grace?
Can I express my feelings without being mocked?
Can I share my past without it being used against me?
If the answer is “no,” then pause. Like, PAUSE!
You were not made to beg for kindness.
Married couples, emotional safety is not automatic—it’s built daily. And you can build it.
If you want your spouse to open up, to grow close, to feel safe with you, here’s what you can do:
1. Listen without interrupting.
Let them finish their thought, even if you disagree.
2. Don’t weaponise their past.
What they told you in trust should never become your tool for attack.
3. Stop using silence as punishment.
If you need time to process, say so—but don’t shut your partner out.
4. Say “sorry” often and mean it.
Pride builds walls. Humility builds bridges.
5. Be gentle when correcting.
You can speak the truth and still protect their dignity.
Proverbs 31:11 says, “The heart of her husband safely trusts in her.”
That’s the goal—a love where hearts feel safe, not scared.
If your love isn’t safe, it won’t last.
But when safety is present, trust grows. Walls crumble. Hearts find rest.
And real intimacy begins.
Love Should Feel Safe.
by Miracle Adedugba | Jun 18, 2025 | Singles and Married
Reading Time: 2 minutes
What to Do When Love Feels One-Sided
You text first. You call first. You plan the hangouts, say sorry just to keep the peace, and always fight for the connection even when it’s clear they’ve stopped showing up.
Let’s be honest: nothing hurts more than feeling like you’re the only one trying in a relationship that was supposed to be mutual.
Love Wasn’t Meant To Be Begged For
Real love is intentional. It gives, it shows up, it sacrifices on both sides. When only one person is carrying the weight of the relationship, something is fundamentally wrong. You weren’t created to chase someone into loving you back; that’s not love, that’s survival.
In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, love is described as patient and kind, not self-seeking. Notice how these qualities flow both ways. God designed love to be mutual, not a one-person show where you’re constantly proving your worth.
The Reality Check You Need
Stop making excuses when love feels one-sided. Stop making excuses for someone’s lack of effort. If they wanted to text you back, they would. If they cared about your feelings, it would show consistently. Matthew 7:16 reminds us, “By their fruit you will recognize them.” People’s actions—not their occasional words—reveal their true heart toward you.
Amos 3:3 asks, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Healthy relationships require two people moving in the same direction with equal commitment.
You Deserve Better
You deserve someone who chooses you back without confusion, without pressure, without delay. Someone who meets you halfway, prays with you, and values your presence. Ephesians 5:25 shows us that love should be sacrificial and intentional, on both sides.
Permission to Pause
If you’re exhausted from being the only one trying, it’s okay to pause. It’s okay to stop texting first. This isn’t about games but about protecting your heart and seeing the relationship clearly.
God sees every unanswered text, every one-sided conversation. Psalm 56:8 says He keeps track of all your sorrows and collects your tears. Your heart matters to Him.
Sometimes God is trying to pull you out of places where you’re not truly valued. Don’t shrink yourself to fit into someone’s limited capacity to love. Trust that He’s writing a better story, one where love flows both ways.
You’re not too much. You’re simply asking for what love should naturally provide. And that’s not too much to ask for at all.
Shalom!
What to Do When Love Feels One-Sided.
