A happy marriage does nothappen by accident, there are deliberate steps both spouse have to take, we’ll continue on this topic today.
9. Delight in your days together.
That is consciously being a happy person. Celebrate what you have now. Yes, things will be better, but don’t postpone your happiness till when things become better.
At whatever stage you are in right now, be happy. Celebrate and be proud of your spouse. Don’t be quick to want to fix things about your spouse. Stop being overly sensitive to the faults of your spouse. Don’t use a magnifying lens to see and look at your spouse’s faults.
Don’t exaggerate your spouse’s faults. Know that we are all humans. We are giving to mistakes, errors, and shortcomings. Teach by example, give information, don’t sermonize, don’t criticize. Never allow your spouse to feel they are no good. Stop drawing attention negatively to your spouse.
Delight in your selves together. Enjoy your selves. Have a good sexual life and do a lot of talking. Don’t let work, business or the children steal your time spent together.
10. Aim at love every time. Let your guide post be to walk in love.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
1 Corinthians 13:4 – 7 NLT Let the words of this scriptures be before your face. Meditate on it. Keep not in your heart, put it on your lips. Confession brings possession. As part of your daily routine and daily prayers. Ask God to make you a love being. A dispenser of love and confess the whole attribute of love over yourself and your spouse. Speak to your spirit that you are patient and kind.
The more you talk about these virtues to yourself the more you become them. That is walking in the spirit and not gratifying the deeds of the flesh.
Try and follow all these tips and improve on them. You will see your marriage take a new turn for the better.
May God grant us more understanding.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will work.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, give me an understanding for my marriage in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:28 ESV In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Have a hearty discussion with your partner today.
Marriage is instituted by God. The devil hates marriages. That is why the devil attacks marriages with a passion. A lot of people have terribly wrong notions of what marriage is.
In looking at the scriptures, we see a picture of what marriage is supposed to be. This morning, we’ll look at some of those underlining principles. Here are some wrong notions.
1. Marriage is a necessary evil
God does not create evil. In Genesis, everything He created, He said, “It is good.” However, the devil has succeeded in most people at misrepresenting the original intentions of God as concerning marriage. Marriage is not a necessary evil. If it were, then God will be unjust to set us up in that way. If I may put things in perspective, I will say Marriage is a blessing. It is a beautiful, thoughtful idea of God on humanity.
God’s idea is that one will chase a thousand, but two shall put ten thousand to a flight! God’s idea is that in marriage, your strength is multiplied. Marriage is not a nemesis, it is not a mistake, it is a divine arrangement of God to fulfill His purpose on earth.
2. Marriage is not necessary; I can just have one or two children
I have heard several ladies say this. I don’t want to get married to any man, but I want to have children. In the arrangement of God, children are supposed to come from a couple, a husband and wife, a man and a woman. God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve, not Eve and Eva! God’s idea is that children are raised in the atmosphere of love, with a man and a woman, a father and a mother. Every time, that man has flouted this, it has landed him into trouble.
Our prisons are filled today with people in a large percentage that were raised without a father or mother figure. Every time, a father or a mother was not there, it had produced dysfunctional children and ultimately dysfunctional families. By the time you have a dysfunctional generation, what you have in the end is a dysfunctional society.
3. There are no good men; all the good men have died
This is a wrong conclusion. Usually, ladies who have gone through harrowing and unpleasant experiences and disappointments in the hands of several men usually sing this song. Well, experiences, no matter how intense, cannot replace the truth of God’s word.
The reality is that there are still faithful men and good men! The danger here is that what you believe is what you attract. That is the law of life.
You see, it is always good to do things God’s way and not try to put things into your hands. When you try to follow your own limited wisdom, things can really get awful. You are not designed to do it by yourself or in your own strength!
4. You cannot be a ‘celebrity’ and have a good marriage
This is another lie of the devil. First of all, who does God see as a celebrity? I am not sure it is the same way our society views that. But that topic is for another day. Let’s follow the secular definition of who a ‘celebrity’ is.
Here are few things that usually land them in many unsuccessful attempts at marriage.
a. They have a lot of fame. With that comes a massive ego and a lot of pride. Usually, the selflessness that makes a marriage work does not come with all that.
b. They have a lot of money, so submitting to a husband or loving a woman is a great challenge. Without the constant renewal of mind which comes as a result of God’s word, this is usually a challenge.
c. There is something called deceitfulness of riches. It makes one feel you can do all you want to do and you don’t really need God. But then, this kind of attitude to life usually comes with its consequences as seen in today’s world.
d. They usually stay away from marriage because they feel that would tie them down and not allow them to live the kind of life they wanted.
e. A few of those who were married ended in divorce ad separation because they were not able to give time and attention to their spouses.
f. Their lifestyle and nature of work usually attract adulterous relationships. This further complicates the whole equation.
g. They are not able to submit to any authority figure for spiritual accountability purposes.
5. Marriage succeeds as long as there is money.
It does not work that way. Marriage requires both parties to work at it, loving themselves genuinely, understanding and speaking their love languages, spending quality time, and giving attention to the marriage.
I pray that God will give us more wisdom on this topic as we all work towards a successful marriage.
I pray for all going through one challenge or more in their relationships or marriages, I ask for peace on every storm and pray specially for God’s intervention in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the wisdom of God. I am delivered from the wrong relationship.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to discard every wrong notion about marriage in my mind.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female (Mark 10:6 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to live by God’s principles.
Dear wives, you have to learn to freely ask for it. Ask him for jeru trip when you feel like.
In marriage, wives should learn to ask for jeru trip when they want it from their husbands. And dear husband, when your wife asks for it, don’t deny her, just go ahead and enjoy the wife of your youth!
Pro 5:18-19 (AMPC+) Let your fountain [of human life] be blessed [with the rewards of fidelity], and rejoice in the wife of your youth. [19] Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant doe [tender, gentle, attractive]–let her bosom satisfy you at all times, and always be transported with delight in her love.
Pro 5:18-19 (MSG) Bless your fresh-flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man! [19] Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose— don’t ever quit taking delight in her body. Never take her love for granted!
There is nothing wrong with a wife asking her husband for jeru trip and there are several fun ways to do that!
Don’t be so spiritual to the extent that you cannot ask him when you feel like it!
His body belongs to you and your body belongs to him, so feel free in your matrimonial home!
You see, when the strange woman outside corners your husband, the first thing she asks for is jeru trap and that could get him excited if he doesn’t have the fear of God! God forbid!
So keep your husband very well, and feel free to discuss your sexuality and ask him when you feel like it.
It is not a sin!
May God bless our homes.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have God’s wisdom in dealing with my husband
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me the grace to run my race in righteousness and integrity
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God–given and God–modeled love, for “becoming one” with another. (1 Corinthians 6:18 Message)
Can yousee the possibility of a happy marriage. You have to believe that it’s possible, and tell yourself “I will have a happy marriage”, and then do the things necessary to have a happy marriage. We’ll continue from where we stopped yesterday
3. Never go to sleep with an argument.
An argument can occur between the couples at any time, on whatever issue, and in any particular place. However, it is maturity on the part of the couple not to spread the dirty linen outside for all to see.
It is maturity on the part of the husband to lovingly correct any mistake his wife does. She is not your daughter neither is she your maid or servant. She is your wife and covenant partner.
The wife is meant to respectfully suggest her opinion and ideas in such a way that it will not lead to an argument. That is maturity on her part.
Both husband and wife should be discerning enough to know when an argument is ensuring. They should also take note of their responses and how they react.
A soft answer is what the Bible recommends.
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. Proverbs 15:1 KJV
All couples should learn and practice how to answer softly.
Each couple must deal with anger. You cannot do marriage with anger
That is why it is important to deal with every unresolved issue. Every hurt, pain, unforgiveness will only lead to more unhealthy issues in marriage.
Every couple should be willing to fight for their marriage and be ready to walk in and by the Spirit. Only then can we be sure of not being carnal, judging issues rightly, having the right perspective, and being loving in our approach.
Finally, the bible says we should not let the sun go down on our anger. The life span of your anger shouldn’t be more than 24 hours
Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil. Ephesians 4:26 – 27 KJV
4. At least once a day, say something complimentary to your spouse.
If your spouse’s love language is words of affirmation, you will have to be very deliberate about complimenting him/her often. Your words mean a lot to your spouse and will often look to you for this need to be met.
You must be quick to look for virtues to celebrate, little baby steps to notice, efforts to acknowledge, and things to appreciate in your spouse.
Some temperaments don’t really need as many compliments and will do well even without a single compliment. You will do well not to judge or criticize your spouse if they need a lot of compliments.
However, as we mature, God should be our source of compliment and we should be secure in His word and promises to us and about us.
I will stop here for today. See you tomorrow by God’s Grace.
God grant us more understanding.
May God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will work.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, give me an understanding for my marriage in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY EPH 5:28 ESV In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Have a hearty discussion with your spouse today
A Happy marriage happensby consistent deliberate efforts from both spouses. Marriage is an important part of our lives which is meant to last all of our adult years. That is we are meant to be in a marriage with our partner till death do us part. And for most of us, that’s a long time.
One thing we don’t want to do is to be unhappy throughout our married life. We want to be sure we are happy with our spouse and happy with ourselves.
Here are 10 tips that will help us achieve this.
1. Never bring up the mistake of the past.
In marriage, there will be issues. We are all still a work in progress and still in the days of our flesh. There are bound to be resolved issues (issues in the past), present issues and, some issues to deal with in the past.
Bringing up past issues is like digging a grave and exposing things that should have been buried. It shows you have not fully forgiven your spouse.
Forgiveness is so important in marriage, you cannot afford to joke with it.
You cannot be digging at the past and expect to move forward or be happy.
Get rid of the past as much as possible. Make sure you resist the temptation of shaming your spouse by referring to things of the past, no matter how difficult it seems.
It takes a lot of maturity to keep your mouth shut and not refer to past mistakes.
What goes around comes around. You might be the one that needs to be forgiven next. There might be a mistake you will do in the future that also requires forgiveness. Remember, to err is human. To forgive is divine.
Let’s include some divinity in our marriage.
2. Never neglect each other. Focus on each other.
The issue of focus has now become so obvious in marriages that it needs to be addressed squarely. You see couples that prefer others to their spouse.
When they go out with their spouse, they are not used to themselves. There is no connection. They are just like any other person to them, apart from the fact that they are living together, bearing each other’s name and probably wearing the same clothes.
There should be a heart-to-heart connection. A connection that is beyond words that keep drawing you close to one another.
We have to consciously work on focussing on each other. That focus is essential to our marriage.
Avoid all forms of distractions, emotional affairs, wandering thoughts, that prevent us from focussing on our own.
Let our spouse ever catch our attention spirit, soul, and body. Let us work on focussing our minds on our spouse. No matter what anyone wears or their physical attributes, our spouse is our spouse, period.
It is about our heart. Let work on having the integrity of heart.
I will stop here this morning.
May God grant us more understanding in Jesus mighty name.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will work.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, give me an understanding for my marriage in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY EPH 5:28 ESV In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Have a hearty discussion with your spouse today
