Gifts are one of the love languages as postulated by Gary Chapman.
Below are a few of my thoughts concerning this topic.
1. Don’t Manipulate Your Spouse Into Gifts Buying
As married couples, the idea is not to disconnect or quarrel with your spouse if he or she is not speaking your language.
You can lovingly discuss with your spouse what makes you happy. You can also reach out and buy him or her gifts and then your spouse does the same in return.
2. Intertwined
As married couples, acts of service and gifts are intertwined. This is because you can give your time, encouragement, empathy, show your love to her in the kitchen and give her some of your time, watch a football match with him when you will rather be having a nap.
But there are people who associate gifts as a love language to have a lot of money.
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3. Eat your cake and have it?
Some single ladies have different guys for different purposes. Some to buy them phones and tabs, some to pay their rent, some to load their phones, some to buy them air tickets, some to load them with cash… well, this is not about love language, it is more of trying to eat your cake and have it.
If this idea and way of living is brought into the marriage, there will be a lot of issues.
It is more of greed and covetousness. It is more of being caught in the web of the deceitfulness of riches. It is not consistent with God’s principles and this will rather slow you down in your journey to a good marriage.
4. Conclusion
In conclusion, and in expressing this language, let God’s word guide you and keep you within godly boundaries.
Don’t borrow to give gifts. Don’t take a loan just to impress someone.
Don’t start what you cannot sustain. Don’t spend the money you don’t have to buy things that are not needed in order to impress people that are not looking.
Finally, we have come to the end of our discussion about love languages. Every husband should have been able to discover to a large extent what his wife’s love language is by now.
You must have discovered that the way you speak your wife’s language is by speaking her love language. It is the language she understands.
God is not an author of confusion, so God would have put on your inside the ability to speak this language which is your wife’s love language. How often you speak this love is how often your wife feel loved. The extent to which you stubbornly refuse to speak this love language is the extent to which your wife feels unloved. So if you want your wife to feel unloved, you can go ahead and not speak her language. But if you are tired of quarrels and you want to experience peace in your home and life, then you have to learn these love languages and speak them.
The five love languages are:
1. Words of affirmation 2. Quality time 3. Service 4. Gifts 5. Physical touch
We are looking at the last love language which is:
5. Physical touch Here, the wife loves you to touch her. She feels connected to you when you touch affectionately. You must learn to hold her hands whether in public or in private.
Research has found out that there is a number of touches you give a woman daily and this will prolong her life span.
A husband who instead of touching his wife complains that she is immature is not being smart. He is only pulling trouble by the hands. Your touch must be meaningful. It does not have to be sexual, but meaningful.
Your touch must be special and mean more to your wife at all times. It must communicate love, tenderness, hope, appreciation, fondness, care, security, friendship, companionship, togetherness, spiritual covering, playfulness, thoughtfulness, blessing and all the good things you can think of.
Another aspect of physical touch is praying for your wife. Each husband must learn to hold hands with his wife and pray. There is the power of agreement when you hold hands and pray. He should also lay his hands on her head and proclaim and release blessing.
You have not touched your wife in days except when it comes to jeru trip, it does not work that way.You should be able to sit down side by side, hold hands and even kiss in public.
If your wife has her love tank filled up, she will not be tempted with looking elsewhere for love. This will eliminate to a large extent the problem of infidelity.
Satisfy your wife by speaking her love language to the best of your ability and stop complaining that she is difficult. No woman is difficult. Her love language is like her password. Once you know it and use it, you have her doing everything you want.
Love covers a multitude of sins. That means when you learn to speak your wife’s love language, that action covers up her sins even if they are many. You don’t have to see your wife’s sin, just focus on speaking her language.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am the most loving husband to my wife
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, open thou the eyes of my understanding in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Son 4:11 Thy lips, O [my] spouse, drop [as] the honeycomb: honey and milk [are] under thy tongue; and the smell of thy garments [is] like the smell of Lebanon.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Speak your wife’s love language
Yea, we aregetting close to the end of discussing love languages and I hope you are getting blessed. If you have questions you may ask and at the end of the topic we will try and answer them.
It bears repetition, that it is the husband’s responsibility to love his wife. God commanded the husband to love his wife. What God commanded the wife is to respect and honor her husband.
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Maybe it is because naturally, a wife loves her husband. What is not natural is for a husband to love. Men find it more difficult to show or express love. Women find it easy to love but difficult to respect. So God says focus on what is unnatural with you to do and get better at it as I give you strength. It is not going to be easy but once you are prepared to love your wife and ask God for strength, He will give you.
Your wife will sense love when you speak any one of these love languages. There will be one or at most two of these languages that will readily resonate with your wife. Be very tactical in discovering which one it is and start speaking it.
Note, it is not that you cannot express love by using any one of these languages, but we are looking at the one that best describes your wife’s love language.
The 5 love languages are:
1. Words of affirmation 2. Quality time 3. Service 4. Gifts 5. Physical touch
We will look at the next one.
4. Gifts
In this love language, you have to be a giver and enjoy it. If this is your wife’s primary love language. It is a love language for the giving husband or let’s say the thoughtful husband. Even though not all rich husband express their love in this way. It is advisable to show your wife love this way if you want her full cooperation.
Here, the gift does not have to be expensive. It just has to be a gift. A box of chocolate, a bar of candy, something for her hair, a roll-on, soap, perfume, earrings and the list goes on and on.
However, the gift needs to be thoughtful. Your wife can’t need a perfume and you buy her a knife. It is not just buying anything. There are appropriate gifts and inappropriate gifts. There are also gifts that speak volumes and the ones that are casual gifts. There are gifts that show your thoughtfulness and there are gifts that reveal your absent mindedness.
You should not buy your wife a gift and you buy a shoe three times short her size. You buy a winter jacket in summer. It has to be meaningful, useful and thoughtful.
If your wife’s love language is expressed by giving her gifts, then it has to be consistent. Buy her gifts regularly, not once in a blue moon. Don’t let her receive one gift now and have to pray in tongues for months before you buy her another. Let it be as consistent as it can be especially since it is not expensive. It is better not to be expensive but consistent than expensive but inconsistent.
Let her special days not end without you buying her a gift. Your gifts mean so much to her. Each time she uses it or sees them, she is happy to know that you bought them for her.When she thinks of how many gifts you have bought for her, let her feel grateful to God for you. Her love tank is full, knowing that you love her.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will love my wife consistently
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, empower me, to love my wife consistently.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 18:16 A man’s gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Buy a gift for your wife today
I am devoting a lot of time on these love languages because it is a key element in having a fulfilling marriage. Once you understand your spouse’s love language and the God factor is involved in your marriage, at least, a large percentage of understanding yourselves and loving yourselves is guaranteed.
When you understand your wife’s love language and endeavor to speak it, half of the marital issues are solved.
When you love your wife the way she wants to be loved, you will see a new radiance on her. Then she will blossom, she will be more responsive, more cooperative and supportive. She will have more energy and her creative juice will be more alive.
She will be happy and the home will be more calm and peaceful. Your wife will be that joyful wife you have always dreamt she will be. There will be unity among you and you will be able to fulfill God’s mandate of one chasing one hundred and two of you chasing ten thousand.
The 5 love languages are:
Words of affirmation
Quality time and Attention
Acts of Service
Gifts
Physical touch
Let’s look at another love language today.
3. Acts of Service This is a beautiful way of showing that you care and love your wife. But don’t try to speak this love language if this is not your wife’s love language. A wife may get irritated at your wanting to help her do her “duties”.
A wife may frown at the idea of her husband coming to the kitchen or cooking dinner. She may even put up a fight, saying that her husband thinks she is a lazy brat that cannot cook. She may even say her husband thinks her food is not sweet.
Any woman that feels that way, definitely her love language is not acts of service or maybe she prefers the acts of service in another way. You will know it is your wife’s love language when she demands that you help her do stuffs.
She will always call on you to help her do things, unlike the wife who has all the energy and will do everything so that even if you want to help, there is nothing to help with.
You communicate love to a wife whose love language is acts of service by doing things for her. You help her with dishes, the kids, laundry, throwing the trash, cleaning the house, cooking, packing her clothes and everything that she needs help for.
Here, the husband must enjoy helping her before she can sense love. If you are too busy, you have to employ people that can help her out. In her frustration, she may cry out that she is slaving herself for you.
Some wives are satisfied when you do things for them. They don’t even want gifts as such. Once you are doing things for her, she’s okay.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am becoming a loving husband
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, teach me to understand my wife.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:25-26 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Pay attention to loving your wife
We startedyesterday talking about how important it is for you to speak your wife’s language. I also stated that language here means your wife’s love language.
If you didn’t read yesterday’s post, I will implore you to go ahead and read it.
There are five basic love languages which are:
1. Words of affirmation 2. Quality time and Attention 3. Service 4. Gifts 5. Physical Touch
We have looked at Words of affirmation. Let’s continue from where I stopped yesterday.
2. Quality time and Attention It is good to know that basically, it is the responsibility of the husband to learn his wife’s love language. It is God’s order in a marriage that the husband loves his wife while the wife respects and honors her husband.
It is not a case of “my wife is too demanding, she always wants me to speak her love language while she doesn’t attempt to speak mine.” Husbands must concentrate on loving your wife.
Quality time as it suggests means spending quality time with her. Here, quality time could mean different things to different women. To some, it could mean spending time with her when she is in the kitchen cooking, it could mean going on vacation together, having weekend trips, going to the movies, shopping, just spend time with her.
It means you are spending time and giving her attention. You let her know your plans, your whereabouts, investments, meetings, friends, and everything. You don’t keep secrets.
Your wife may be crying for your attention and you are busy working yourself out to stupor trying to provide for the family. She will not sense your love until you slow down and spend some time with her.
If you are a busy husband, schedule time consciously to be together. We had to plan that into our marriage. Call it me and you time. Let nothing interrupt this time. You may need to switch off your phone or do a get-away for two.
It doesn’t have to be expensive or far. If the children are still young, find a friend’s place you can keep them for a few hours to just go. Your wife will appreciate you more for your effort.
Many quarrels go on in marriage because we don’t know where to focus our resources and energy. Once you discover your wife’s love language, go ahead and start speaking it and improve on speaking it.
Your wife may be throwing tantrums just because she doesn’t feel your love. She feels your love when you speak her love language. She will adore you and respect you the moment she can sense your love.
Try and pay attention to her and seek to find out her love language. What does your wife complain about all the time? It is a clue to what her love language is. You may have to try different things before you finally discover which one it is.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have wisdom for my marriage
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “In the same way you married men should live considerately with [ your wives ], with an intelligent recognition [ of the marriage relation ], honoring the woman as [ physically ] the weaker, but [ realizing that you ] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [ Otherwise you cannot pray effectively. ]” (1Pe 3:7, AMP)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Find out what her love language is
