We have been looking at this topic building to last in marriage for some time now and I will be taking the concluding part of the same topic.
I pray and sincerely hope this message will bring couples to ways they can discuss this together to find their own way of implementing the points. There may be ways based on their peculiar situation, they could adapt the points discussed here.
8. Never talk bad about your spouse to anybody
Respect the covenant between you. Let no one be able to come between you. Don’t betray trust. Defend each other. Don’t fight with each other but fight for each other. Don’t fight your spouse because of any other person. Don’t give any other person the privilege of being more special than your spouse. It will backfire. What is between the two of you cannot be compared with any other relationship.
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9. Love jeru trip
Enjoy Jerusalem trips. It is pleasure to both of you. Never get tired of each other. Give yourself to one another unhindered
10. Keep the word ‘divorce’ out of your dictionary
Remember your marriage vows. It is till death do us part. There are no problems without solutions. There are issues, challenges but there are ways of handling them. We may not be patient enough or seek God’s face enough to find a lasting solution. God has promised us a way of escape.
Jesus said in John 14:6, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life
Have a bulldog approach to your marriage. Whatever happens, God can restore and make all things new. That doesn’t mean staying in an abusive relationship and environment. Seek all the help you can get for your marriage to be better.
11. Understand each other’s love language
Your love language is like your native mother language, you are most comfortable speaking it and have a free flow with it. Just like you speak the language your spouse understands, you must be willing to learn and understand your spouse’s love language. Don’t insist on your own way of expressing love.
Try to please your spouse. Do whatever he/ she likes and best expresses that you love and care for him/her.
It is either it is gifts, words, touch, actions, or quality time. If it is words, learn to speak tender and kind words to your spouse. Don’t be harsh with your words. Don’t correctly sharply.
If gifts, surprise each other with gifts, do this frequently.
If actions, help to do the dishes, throw the garbage out, wash the car, etc, just offer to do something.
12. Spice up your marriage with little gestures.
Surprise each other with gifts, kisses, and sex. That shows you are thinking of your spouse. Let your spouse know that you are still in love with them.
Kiss passionately, hold hands, cuddle and show public display of affection. Look into each other’s eyes when talking. Be deeply concerned about each other. Look out for yourselves and ask whatever may be happening to your spouse emotionally, physically, or otherwise.
May God bless our marriage as we put these things into practice.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse wholeheartedly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me how to trust my spouse in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to show genuine love to your spouse.
First of all, there is a difference between one’s love language being “gifts” and when one is just being covetous or greedy.
If your fiancé/fiancée/spouse’s love language is gifts, what it means is that until you start appreciating him or her with gifts in a consistent manner, he or she will not feel loved.
How do you know if someone is not just being greedy?
1. Do or Die?
He will not always demand gifts in a do-or-die manner.
2. Love Gives
When you are in a relationship, and no gifts are forthcoming, there may be an issue there because love gives.
What if he or she has no money or has no job? As I said, a gift is a gift and it doesn’t have to be expensive. Writing her a poem is a gift!
Buying him one tiny little chocolate is a gift! What is important is not the gift itself, it is the gesture that brings assurance of being loved and cared for.
When you are able to give gifts in the midst of not too much provision, you will also be able to do so when you eventually have more income.
Your giving spirit is more of an attitude than spending power.
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3. Love is patient
He will not back out just because gifts are not forthcoming. She will not break the relationship because you are not financially buoyant.
4. He will not just be a receiver
He will not just be demanding while he folds his arms and never gives back. Love gives.
5. Giving Back
He will give away gifts too because that is the language he understands and that is what he craves. She would want to give back gifts as well.
6. Gift is not Payment
When a lady gives out her body for money, that is not about love language because what she gets is no longer ‘gifts’ it has become an illegal payment for services rendered and that is not God’s order.
7. Conclusion
In conclusion, and in expressing this language, let God’s word guide you and keep you within godly boundaries.
Don’t borrow to give gifts. Don’t take a loan just to impress someone. Don’t start what you cannot sustain. Don’t spend the money you don’t have to buy things that are not needed in order to impress people that are not looking.
May God grant more understanding!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not greedy.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to love correctly.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Joh 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes, should not perish, but have everlasting life.
Gifts are one of the love languages as postulated by Gary Chapman.
Below are a few of my thoughts concerning this topic.
1. Don’t Manipulate Your Spouse Into Gifts Buying
As married couples, the idea is not to disconnect or quarrel with your spouse if he or she is not speaking your language.
You can lovingly discuss with your spouse what makes you happy. You can also reach out and buy him or her gifts and then your spouse does the same in return.
2. Intertwined
As married couples, acts of service and gifts are intertwined. This is because you can give your time, encouragement, empathy, show your love to her in the kitchen and give her some of your time, watch a football match with him when you will rather be having a nap.
But there are people who associate gifts as a love language to have a lot of money.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
3. Eat your cake and have it?
Some single ladies have different guys for different purposes. Some to buy them phones and tabs, some to pay their rent, some to load their phones, some to buy them air tickets, some to load them with cash… well, this is not about love language, it is more of trying to eat your cake and have it.
If this idea and way of living is brought into the marriage, there will be a lot of issues.
It is more of greed and covetousness. It is more of being caught in the web of the deceitfulness of riches. It is not consistent with God’s principles and this will rather slow you down in your journey to a good marriage.
4. Conclusion
In conclusion, and in expressing this language, let God’s word guide you and keep you within godly boundaries.
Don’t borrow to give gifts. Don’t take a loan just to impress someone.
Don’t start what you cannot sustain. Don’t spend the money you don’t have to buy things that are not needed in order to impress people that are not looking.
Finally, we have come to the end of our discussion about love languages. Every husband should have been able to discover to a large extent what his wife’s love language is by now.
You must have discovered that the way you speak your wife’s language is by speaking her love language. It is the language she understands.
God is not an author of confusion, so God would have put on your inside the ability to speak this language which is your wife’s love language. How often you speak this love is how often your wife feel loved. The extent to which you stubbornly refuse to speak this love language is the extent to which your wife feels unloved. So if you want your wife to feel unloved, you can go ahead and not speak her language. But if you are tired of quarrels and you want to experience peace in your home and life, then you have to learn these love languages and speak them.
The five love languages are:
1. Words of affirmation 2. Quality time 3. Service 4. Gifts 5. Physical touch
We are looking at the last love language which is:
5. Physical touch Here, the wife loves you to touch her. She feels connected to you when you touch affectionately. You must learn to hold her hands whether in public or in private.
Research has found out that there is a number of touches you give a woman daily and this will prolong her life span.
A husband who instead of touching his wife complains that she is immature is not being smart. He is only pulling trouble by the hands. Your touch must be meaningful. It does not have to be sexual, but meaningful.
Your touch must be special and mean more to your wife at all times. It must communicate love, tenderness, hope, appreciation, fondness, care, security, friendship, companionship, togetherness, spiritual covering, playfulness, thoughtfulness, blessing and all the good things you can think of.
Another aspect of physical touch is praying for your wife. Each husband must learn to hold hands with his wife and pray. There is the power of agreement when you hold hands and pray. He should also lay his hands on her head and proclaim and release blessing.
You have not touched your wife in days except when it comes to jeru trip, it does not work that way.You should be able to sit down side by side, hold hands and even kiss in public.
If your wife has her love tank filled up, she will not be tempted with looking elsewhere for love. This will eliminate to a large extent the problem of infidelity.
Satisfy your wife by speaking her love language to the best of your ability and stop complaining that she is difficult. No woman is difficult. Her love language is like her password. Once you know it and use it, you have her doing everything you want.
Love covers a multitude of sins. That means when you learn to speak your wife’s love language, that action covers up her sins even if they are many. You don’t have to see your wife’s sin, just focus on speaking her language.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am the most loving husband to my wife
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, open thou the eyes of my understanding in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Son 4:11 Thy lips, O [my] spouse, drop [as] the honeycomb: honey and milk [are] under thy tongue; and the smell of thy garments [is] like the smell of Lebanon.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Speak your wife’s love language
Yea, we aregetting close to the end of discussing love languages and I hope you are getting blessed. If you have questions you may ask and at the end of the topic we will try and answer them.
It bears repetition, that it is the husband’s responsibility to love his wife. God commanded the husband to love his wife. What God commanded the wife is to respect and honor her husband.
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Maybe it is because naturally, a wife loves her husband. What is not natural is for a husband to love. Men find it more difficult to show or express love. Women find it easy to love but difficult to respect. So God says focus on what is unnatural with you to do and get better at it as I give you strength. It is not going to be easy but once you are prepared to love your wife and ask God for strength, He will give you.
Your wife will sense love when you speak any one of these love languages. There will be one or at most two of these languages that will readily resonate with your wife. Be very tactical in discovering which one it is and start speaking it.
Note, it is not that you cannot express love by using any one of these languages, but we are looking at the one that best describes your wife’s love language.
The 5 love languages are:
1. Words of affirmation 2. Quality time 3. Service 4. Gifts 5. Physical touch
We will look at the next one.
4. Gifts
In this love language, you have to be a giver and enjoy it. If this is your wife’s primary love language. It is a love language for the giving husband or let’s say the thoughtful husband. Even though not all rich husband express their love in this way. It is advisable to show your wife love this way if you want her full cooperation.
Here, the gift does not have to be expensive. It just has to be a gift. A box of chocolate, a bar of candy, something for her hair, a roll-on, soap, perfume, earrings and the list goes on and on.
However, the gift needs to be thoughtful. Your wife can’t need a perfume and you buy her a knife. It is not just buying anything. There are appropriate gifts and inappropriate gifts. There are also gifts that speak volumes and the ones that are casual gifts. There are gifts that show your thoughtfulness and there are gifts that reveal your absent mindedness.
You should not buy your wife a gift and you buy a shoe three times short her size. You buy a winter jacket in summer. It has to be meaningful, useful and thoughtful.
If your wife’s love language is expressed by giving her gifts, then it has to be consistent. Buy her gifts regularly, not once in a blue moon. Don’t let her receive one gift now and have to pray in tongues for months before you buy her another. Let it be as consistent as it can be especially since it is not expensive. It is better not to be expensive but consistent than expensive but inconsistent.
Let her special days not end without you buying her a gift. Your gifts mean so much to her. Each time she uses it or sees them, she is happy to know that you bought them for her.When she thinks of how many gifts you have bought for her, let her feel grateful to God for you. Her love tank is full, knowing that you love her.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will love my wife consistently
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, empower me, to love my wife consistently.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 18:16 A man’s gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Buy a gift for your wife today
