Yes, we need to take foreplay to another level. It is very possible to enjoy the other room in marriage
Foreplay is so relaxing, soothing, and rejuvenating. After such a tiring day, there is nothing as good as good love-making preceded by good foreplay.
I like the fact that it is therapeutic in nature. The release of hormones makes it a good medicine and it is also a good exercise.
I know some marriedcouples don’t have it as good. So I would like to address both husband and wife.
First, to those who are not really enjoying or having it regularly.
Whatever issue is causing you not to have regular love-making is demonic and an attack from the pit of hell. You cannot be married and be sleeping in different rooms. It’s simply unacceptable.
Such things as he snores, she snores, he has body odour or she has body odour are not enough reasons to abandon your spouse. What matters is that you are married, you two have become one flesh and nothing should separate you.
It is abnormal for a guy not to have it with his wife when he is not sick. For a man, it is more of releasing tension. Without regularity, he can’t really function as he should.
So see whatever is preventing you from having it in marriage as an attack. Address it ruthlessly. Don’t say you can handle it or you don’t care. Divorce and adultery are the consequences of such neglect.
If you have to plan it and do like a timetable, do it. The fire must never go down in the bedroom. When the fire goes down in the bedroom, the whole home catches fire.
It should be regular. For a very busy couple at least once or twice a week is okay.
To those of us who are enjoying it, we should try to improve. There is always room for improvement. Find creative ways to satisfy each other.
Take your foreplay to another level. Spend time with each other. Explore each other’s bodies. A healthy love life makes you more productive, more relaxed, and more focused. You will be more coordinated.
Create the right atmosphere that will make you enjoy yourself. If you can get away, plan it out. Go to a hotel or a resort center just by yourself. Just like we do sometimes. Leave the children with someone reliable and take time out to enjoy yourselves. When you come back, you will be refreshed and more relaxed than before you went.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I give myself to my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help us in this area of life
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Co 6:16 (MSG) (paraphrased)There’s more to it than mere skin on skin. It is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.”
Have you ever been unresponsive to your husband’s playful advances? I have been several times. That was before I learned that part of my role as a wife is to be responsive to him and to be his playmate every time and any time.
Do I respond every time? No. I still consider my husband playful and don’t join, thankfully we have three boys who can play with him.
My husband sometimes considers me as being too serious. I never grew up with a sanguine in the house so having fun was not a regular thing. We were quiet in our family and our idea of fun was little laughter here and there.
My husband is not so much of a Sanguine but his Choleric tendencies have made him an extrovert at least to me. He seems quiet when he wants to but when he is in his rhyme, he really wants to talk and play.
Sometimes he wants to play, sing *winks*, be funny, talks, disturb me and all the rest. He is just full of energy and he wants to release some.
The one thing that men don’t leave behind from being boys is playing and having fun. They love to have fun and as their wives, you have to learn to have fun with them.
You may be pushing your husband out to look for a playmate. You must learn to be jovial. Be responsive to his jokes. Laugh with him. Laugh at him. Your role as his wife is not to stop him from playing, it is to play with him.
Don’t stop him from watching his football games or any other games, join him in. Don’t be too busy for him. I know you have a lot to do especially when you don’t have help. The idea is to let your husband occupy the first place and every other thing will find its place.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am my husband’s playmate
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Help me Lord to cast my care upon you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:23 (KJV) For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be responsive to your husband’s play and jokes.
So here is the concluding part of our series on Handling affairs in marriage. Let me just delve into today’s teaching and get it over with.
Like I said earlier, the Grace of God needs to be embraced in an abundant measure to effectively help with handling affairs in marriage.
4. A lot of teachings
It is good for the spouse of the erring couple to surround the spouse involved in an affair with a lot of good teaching materials. It is the truth from inside those books that God will use to set him/her free. It is the truth that set free
Joh 8:32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
No matter your good words it will not be as effective as God’s word. Let good lead you to specific materials and tapes of anointed men and women of God. There is virtually every book on every topic you are looking for on telegram, books on handling affairs in marriage inclusive. Download them and let the spouse involved in an affair, read them.
Transformation only comes by renewing the mind.
Rom 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
It will also be helpful if the erring spouse can have some time of sober reflection, this has a good part to play in handling affairs in marriage.
This becomes very important. Intercession must be going on for the spouse involved in affair as much as the erring spouse should also be doing a lot of prayer for himself or herself.
Prayers for the help of God, Mercy, forgiveness, Grace to crucify the flesh and not yield to its dictates must be said as often as possible by the erring spouse. Faith and hope must also be kept alive because if the devil succeeds in getting the erring spouse to a point of defeat, this will help in handling affairs in marriage. A point where he/she feels despondent or a feeling of ‘there is no point’, ‘ let give up’, the battle has been lost.
But keep hope alive and encourage the erring spouse that with God all things are possible. The grace of God can make strong. The flesh cannot have dominion over you because Christ has already died for you. Prayer is a game-changer when it comes to handling affairs in marriage
We are not of them that give up. Christ never gave up even though the pain and the price he paid was so much. He won the victory. He won the battle. So we have the victory. We are only enforcing our victory because the devil is a liar.
The devil seeks to kill, steal and destroy. The erring spouse must just be encouraging to stand his ground.
Psa 30:5 For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.
There will be great joy, if you endure the discipline of enforcing your victory and you’re finally able to handle and put a stop to affairs in marriage.
Jas 4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
When you learn to submit to God and his principles and ways of doing things, you will resist the devil and he has no choice but to flee, and this will help a great deal in handling affairs in marriage.
Resist him no matter how strong the temptation is or long the addiction has been. You resist him in the name of Jesus. Use every weapon to resist him. The blood of Jesus, communion, the word, prayers and he will flee.
God bless you.
May God grant us more understanding and give us grace to do. God surround our marriage in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will be faithful to my partner.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, help me to keep my marriage vows.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY James 4:7 (ESV): Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Open up to your spouse, if need be.
I remember many years ago, as a young Christian, I was praying and trusting God for some things. God answered me very clearly and told me to forgive so and so. Now, these people really hurt me, and I felt justified walking in an unforgiving spirit. But then God gave me two scriptures and said if I want to move forward in life, I have to forgive.
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” (Romans 12:19 ESV)
The second scripture God gave me was:
To whom ye forgive any thing, I forgive also: for if I forgave any thing, to whom I forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ; Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices (2 Corinthians 2:10-11 KJV)
I had to listen to God and it was only then I was able to move forward.
2. From the above scriptures, a few things are clear.
3. People will hurt you, as long as you are human and you are in the days of your flesh.
4. You will like to get even, born again or not.
5. Don’t get even; don’t avenge yourself.
6. God will avenge you, He will fight for you and that is when it is sweetest.
7. If you stay in unforgiving mode, Satan will use it as loophole to cause havoc.
You are not to be ignorant of how the devil operates.
A third scripture I will like you to see is here:
For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses (Matthew 6:14-15 KJV)
Now, you don’t want to find yourself here. You don’t want to find yourself in a place where God will not forgive you. And yet, the only way not to get there is to forgive people easily! Now as you read this, I really want you to check yourself out. Are you holding a few people in your heart without forgiving them? Well, it could slow you down, literarily!
It could cause delays in marriages, it could cause relationships not to work out, and other havocs can be wrecked. That’s why I tell people; don’t start another relationship immediately after one has just ended. Give yourself a break, at least, six months. Why? When you rush into another relationship with hurts, wounds, bitterness, and an unforgiving spirit, you will end up frustrating that other person, and the relationship will still not work out. You cannot establish a relationship on a foundation of hurts, wounds, and bitterness!
When you stay in unforgiving mode, it’s like moving away from God’s protective arm into the terrain of the devil. A lot of us fast and pray fervently, but hear me and hear me well, if you don’t forgive, you will never be able to enjoy the fullness of God’s blessings. I come to you this morning, by the Spirit of God and by His grace which He has endowed me with and I speak into your life and destiny, ‘Forgive!’
Yes, I know you are hurt! Yes, I know you were jilted. Yes, I know you were raped. Yes, I know you were defrauded. Yes, I know you were abandoned when it is just a few days before the wedding. Yes, I know there has been a divorce. Yes, I know you were cheated. Yes, I know you were wrongfully accused. Yes, I know your spouse cheated on you and manipulated you…and the list goes on.
But you cannot afford some bitterness. It is too expensive for you! You need God now, don’t you? You yourself are not perfect, are you? The only way God can overlook, forgive and forget your own imperfections and cause His mercy to avail for you is when you forgive that person.
There are some of us that hold our parents in derision. You are wrong to do that. But my parents are not born-again! You see the scripture never says you should honour your born-again parents! He said you should honour your parents! That is how to last on the planet earth! So that your days will be long! In fact, a particular translation says, honour your parents so that God can say well done to you!
Some of you are having delays in marriage because you are walking in disobedience. If your parents have ever said wrong words to you because you were at loggerheads with them, go back to them and apologize. Humble yourself, so that you won’t slow yourself down. Dishonoring your parents and refusing to forgive them can cost you your life! Read your Bible very well.
Go back to them, buy a gift, prostrate or kneel down and ask them to bless you! That act alone will be better off than ninety days of fasting and prayers, which might not yield results because of an unforgiving spirit.
Forgive your spouse. You will do yourself a lot of good if you do that. If you don’t forgive him or her, your prayers will be hindered. Don’t block God’s blessings over you at this time. Why waste your time praying? Isn’t that a religious spirit at work? Married couples, be quick to forgive each other! Don’t allow strife in your family. If you have been in prolonged hurt and strife, it is dangerous. End it today and allow God’s blessing to flow in your family. Leave your ego behind and obey God. Take your wife out, buy her a gift and apologize! Go to your husband and kneel down and ask for forgiveness. It is not old-fashioned; it is scripture!
Let go and let God! Let it be a beginning of a new day for you and yours! Let go of everybody you are holding in your mind. Burn your little black book of offenses and stop recording hurts. Delete them not only from your memory but from recycle bin as well. Guard your heart with all diligence for out of them are the issues of life.
May God help you and give you strength to forgive all you need to forgive in Jesus name!
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CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have a forgiving attitude. I am quick to forgive.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me the grace to let go of all who have hurt me
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: (Matthew 6:14 KJV)
I startedthis topic yesterday and I will be concluding on it today. Other signs that shows that your marriage needs attention on time before it becomes too late are:
5. Your spouse cannot be trusted.
In this case trust has been ruptured in time past by some events and the spouse in question has done nothing to build back the ruptured trust. The spouse is also still doing things that makes his spouse suspicious like keeping secrets, passwording phone, not been able to receive calls when your spouse is around, deleting messages, keeping late nights and the list goes on. Your marriage needs a lot of help and both of the spouses will need to be counselled. Forgiveness on the faithful spouse and repentance on the erring spouse will be necessary for healing.
6. When there is extramarital affairs.
Nothing breaks marriage like extra marital affairs. Whatever the reasons for this, scriptures enjoins us that no matter what, we should never drink water from another Cistern unjustifiably. For no reason should any of the spouses go onto an extra marital affair. The book of Proverbs especially chapter 6, talks about transparency. Couples should be sincere, open and truthful to each other.
7. When both husband and wife are not on the same page.
The very essence of marriage is that the couples be naked and are not ashamed, and that the union produces oneness that no man can put asunder. When both couples are not on the same page, the power of agreement is broken. Couples can no longer pray the prayer of agreement and see results. There are several reasons for this, that’s not what we are looking at today. The couple should not just wait, hoping some day things will turn out better. Time doesn’t make things better only intervention help sort out issues.
8. Unresolved conflicts.
Nearly all marriages have had several conflicts in their marriage. In fact, conflicts show that you married a human being with feelings and different opinion to yours. What makes the difference and marks the boys from the men, is the ability to resolved issues and get better and stronger together. It takes a whole lot of maturity to resolve conflicts. Unresolved conflict, no matter how small or little the conflict was, has the ability to break a marriage. Always resolve every issue and ensure no party is in unforgiveness, bitterness, anger.
9. Criticism
Couples should have constructive criticism which is healthy for the union. When criticism become frequent, destructive and done outside of love, then it is a sign the marriage needs help and the erring partner should be educated.
10. Finances
When couples are not transparent and open about their financial dealings, the marriage needs attention. When you hide your money, your investments, your debt, your financial givings, things you buy, and the language “my money” is often used rather than “our money”, something is terribly wrong. Your marriage needs help. You need to seek wisdom. I never want to know who is responsible, but couples should pull their resources together and jointly forge ahead. Any issue in marriage that attempts to pull you away from each other makes you need help. You can sort for help in several means, you can pray about your marriage, you can read books to enlighten you, you can take up the matter with your mentors, or change your character for the better. Whichever method is chosen, don’t just gloss over issues on your marriage.
May God grant us more understanding. God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I pay attention to my marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to pay attention to my marriage.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
