The issue of in-laws is a very important one. If you have in-laws and they live in the town where you live, proximity should be handled with care.
In laws ought to wish their children the best at least to the best of their knowledge.
I believe it is best before marriage to prepare your heart to accommodate your in-laws in a cordial relationship. It is also good to accept them for who they are.
I am so blessed, when it comes to my in laws. My father, brother and sisters in law are so warm, I couldn’t have asked for anything more.
Both in laws live in another town from us and it’s a blessing (although it has its own disadvantages).
So when some of our married couples begin to say their issues about in-laws I just wonder. Nonetheless, it’s an issue that affects our home and marriage and so has to be addressed.
Here are some helpful hints.
1. It is wrong to discuss your spouse with your parents and in-laws.
2. Getting in touch and staying in touch has to be done by the couple at both ends.
3. If an in-law has to stay with you, it has to be your joint consent. If your spouse is not in agreement, you have to pray about it. Until there is consent, don’t go ahead.
4. If your in-laws need financial support (brother or sister) you should decide together how much you will give.
5. It is your responsibility to send financial support to your parents and in-laws every month or otherwise as the case may be.
6. In the event that a sick parent or in-law has to stay with you, you must give your wife all the support she needs, emotional, physical and financial. Make her comfortable taking care of them.
7. Don’t let any in-law come in between you. You are married and nothing should change that.
8. In case you are parents in waiting, don’t allow the pressures of your in laws to tear you apart.
9. No one should encroach on your privacy. Don’t allow or permit it. You are married to your spouse.
10. You must put your foot down when it comes to protecting your spouse. But you also need the wisdom of God. So make sure you pray for wisdom and God’s help.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have God’s wisdom
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God strengthens you to make the right decisions
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Hosea 14:4 I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely: for mine anger is turned away from him.
Married couples, your marriage vows are very sacred and needs to be kept as such. Extramarital affairs should be avoided at all costs. Marriage should be held in high esteem and the bed must remain undefiled.
We should always make sure we fulfill our roles as married couples. Marriage is for companionship, where both parties stay and stick with each other no matter what.
The chief culprit in developing extra-marital affairs is when either of the party is not a real companion. Real companionship is not just about pictures all over social media.
Issues in marriage don’t have to be left unaddressed. These issues start like ordinary and minor issues. The devil does not attack us at full force all at once. He introduces his attacks in subtle ways.
Every married couple needs a marriage counselor or a mentor, where these issues are addressed.
Extramarital affairs start when we try to meet marital needs outside of the sanctity of marriage. You should never be close to any opposite sex other than your wife or husband.
An attempt to do that is looking for trouble. Don’t ever put yourself into a tight corner. The devil usually set up certain atmosphere for adultery.
I know there are different situations. I have heard of rape cases or situations where the lady was drugged. That’s why it’s good to pray and commit our ways into God’s hands and be led by the Holy Spirit.
The truth is that extramarital relationships are not worth it. The Bible says that stolen waters is sweet but in the end, it’s like gravel in the mouth. Work on your own marriage no matter what.
I know that there are some extreme cases where the husband or wife is so impossible and there’s just a yearning for love and companionship. Just hold on, pray, seek help and trust God will sort it out rather than seek pleasures outside. You will yet smile again.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not have extramarital affairs
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father help me to stand faithful
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psa 86:11 (KJV) Teach me thy way, O LORD; I will walk in thy truth: unite my heart to fear thy name.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Avoid all forms of extramarital affairs
READ THROUGH THE BIBLE IN ONE YEAR 2 Samuel 16 – 18
Yes, we need to take foreplay to another level. It is very possible to enjoy the other room in marriage
Foreplay is so relaxing, soothing, and rejuvenating. After such a tiring day, there is nothing as good as good love-making preceded by good foreplay.
I like the fact that it is therapeutic in nature. The release of hormones makes it a good medicine and it is also a good exercise.
I know some marriedcouples don’t have it as good. So I would like to address both husband and wife.
First, to those who are not really enjoying or having it regularly.
Whatever issue is causing you not to have regular love-making is demonic and an attack from the pit of hell. You cannot be married and be sleeping in different rooms. It’s simply unacceptable.
Such things as he snores, she snores, he has body odour or she has body odour are not enough reasons to abandon your spouse. What matters is that you are married, you two have become one flesh and nothing should separate you.
It is abnormal for a guy not to have it with his wife when he is not sick. For a man, it is more of releasing tension. Without regularity, he can’t really function as he should.
So see whatever is preventing you from having it in marriage as an attack. Address it ruthlessly. Don’t say you can handle it or you don’t care. Divorce and adultery are the consequences of such neglect.
If you have to plan it and do like a timetable, do it. The fire must never go down in the bedroom. When the fire goes down in the bedroom, the whole home catches fire.
It should be regular. For a very busy couple at least once or twice a week is okay.
To those of us who are enjoying it, we should try to improve. There is always room for improvement. Find creative ways to satisfy each other.
Take your foreplay to another level. Spend time with each other. Explore each other’s bodies. A healthy love life makes you more productive, more relaxed, and more focused. You will be more coordinated.
Create the right atmosphere that will make you enjoy yourself. If you can get away, plan it out. Go to a hotel or a resort center just by yourself. Just like we do sometimes. Leave the children with someone reliable and take time out to enjoy yourselves. When you come back, you will be refreshed and more relaxed than before you went.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I give myself to my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help us in this area of life
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Co 6:16 (MSG) (paraphrased)There’s more to it than mere skin on skin. It is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.”
Well, we have finally come to the end of our series on handling stress in marriage.
In our final series, I will be talking about
Ungratefulness
The whole bible is from the old testament to the new testament has several instances where gratitude, Thanksgiving, the gratefulness of heart is encouraged and even commanded.
The human heart has the capacity to be ungrateful and to forget where we were and where we were coming from. Once we get relieved, we are quick to forget the hands that held us up.
Now, I would like to write today about gratitude to God and gratitude to those who were there for us and how it helps in handling stress in marriage.
If we don’t learn to show appreciation and train ourselves to be thoughtful enough to show gratitude, we will stress our partners.
No matter how difficult your spouse is, we can still choose to be grateful to God for them. Someone said, don’t complain you have an headache, thank God that you even have a head.
How true this is. On matter our condition, the place of praise and thanksgiving will still remain intact. We may however, choose not to see it or cease the opportunity to be grateful.
Let check out few places in the bible we were admonished to live a thankful life.
Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise his name. Psalms 100:4 NLT
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Philippians 4:6 NLT
And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Ephesians 5:20 NLT
And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Colossians 3:15 NLT
We are encouraged in scriptures to show gratitude to God in everything and at all times.
If you think, you will be able to thank. If you think that you didn’t create yourself, you can’t sustain yourself, the breadth that you breadth you didn’t provide it for yourself, the hair on your head, you didn’t put it there, that you go to work and come back meeting everything intact is because God is a merciful God.
So when you think of all the goodness of the Lord you should return gratitude to Him.
If you are grateful for the many things God has done for you, it will also flow also in gratitude to others. It is the same heart it takes to be grateful to God that it takes to be grateful to others.
A spouse who is always complaining and has an entitlement mentality is a pain in the neck.
When a couple learn to appreciate each other in little things and show gratitude for efforts and every little attempt to improve, there will be bliss.
It takes a heart of understanding to give thanks. Someone said when you are thankful your tank will be full. This is the one of the best things to do when handling stress.
Everything dries up in an atmosphere of complaint.
Don’t put the strain on your marriage rather put the strain off your marriage.
I hope we have learnt one or two things from our series.
Your marriage is a living entity, and as such you don’t want to do things that will quench the fire of passion.
I pray if any marriage is being besiege by stress or its effect, God will cause peace to reign in Jesus name
I will continue from where I stopped yesterday. We have been looking at different types of stressors and how we can avoid them. How these stressors cause stress and strain in our relationship with our spouse.
We looked yesterday at how unforgiveness can be a sources of unhappiness in marriage. It can cause a lot of tension between couples.
Today, we are moving on to
8. Not being open and transparent.
Marriage is translated H.O.T, honest, open and transparent. Husband and wife should be naked and not ashamed.
And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
Genesis 2:25 KJV There should be no shame whatsoever between husband and wife. If both understand their position in covenant and how God sees them.
There should be zero inhibitions. We should be 100%/vulnerable to each other
It is very stressful when as husband and wife you censor what you have to say, walk as though on an egg shelf, hide, be secretive, tell packaged truth, sometimes tell little lies, structured lies, and all manner and shades of lies.
It is frustrating to have a spouse who is always suspecting you.
I want us to know that the devil is at the root of every kind of suspicion. If this is happening in our marriage, God will grant us victory and every storm will cease in Jesus name.
The devil hates marriage and unity between husbands and wives. This kind of stress can cause strain on the marital union. It could be handled by both husband and wife working together correcting their wrongs and trusting God for the covenant of oneness to be appropriated in their lives and marriage.
9. Unrealistic expectations.
These are the things we expect from our spouse which cut across as being over the board or giving the present situation may be difficult to meet.
Our spouse should try and they are under obligations to meet our needs. But there are some needs that are not humanly possible.
This usually happens when either of the spouses is selfish and inconsiderate. If for example the husband or the wife already has a particular mould he/she wants for his spouse and then try to force the spouse into that mould. That will be an unrealistic expectation.
This is capable of causing frustration. I will stop here today and continue tomorrow on these stressors by God’s grace.
May God grant us the spirit of forgiveness to all that has offended us in Jesus name.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a wise spouse. I know how to relate with people.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, give me wisdom
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
