The Woman You Should Not Be. Mrs. Johnson is a high-energy, productive, choleric wife. Her husband always feel disrespected most of the time. Where is the balance between such a couple?
Wives should be sensitive and not usurp the authority in the house.
Here are the type of wives that need to exercise some caution in this area.
The Woman You Should Not Be 1. The Choleric wife
Cholerics are known to be energetic, sharp-mouthed, unemotional with words and actions, and can survive on their own.
They usually don’t need any encouragement to forge ahead.
They can be very independent and this can often lead to friction in the house.
The couple should learn to maximize their strengths and minimize their weaknesses. Usually, a choleric wife will be married to an opposite temperament, someone who is reserved, laid back, and probably an introvert.
The choleric wife should go out of her way to ensure she honours her husband at all times.
2. The Proud Career wife
A woman at the top echelon of her career can often become prideful if care is not taken.
The husband should be secure enough to let his wife go for the best and ultimate in her career.
There are husbands who can be so threatened by the progress of their wives. This is a wrong heart. Let her be, and let her go for the best. Give her wings to fly!
Much work lies with the wife in refusing to get proud of her achievements. The keyword is honour.
3. The stubborn wife
Some wives can be stubborn o! From counselling experiences, I have seen wives that would stand by their opinion even when you show them the scriptures. There are stubborn men as well o!
Stubborn wives don’t talk much, they just won’t budge. They will just be looking at you like Lucozade, but what they will do is what they will do.
This is not good as well. It is not beneficial for the prayer life of the couple. Anything that will engender strife should be flushed out of the home.
4. The manipulative wife
The manipulative wife has several weapons in her arsenal including crying, throwing tantrums, withdrawing, talking endlessly, refusing sex, and nagging, until she gets what she wants.
She always wants the man at her beck and call.
This may go on for a while especially if the husband is on the calm side, but one day, the hidden molten magma may give way to eruption. And this is not usually the best.
Every husband must strive never to get to the point of exploding.
5. The insistent wife Another type of the woman you should not be is the insistent wife who is hard, difficult, and doesn’t listen to anything apart from what she knows or wants.
Her major weapon is anger.
She always wants to be told what she wants to hear and she picks up quarrels with anybody that dares go against what she feels.
Her husband lives in perpetual fear of what could happen next.
This is a wrong attitude that could be detrimental to the marriage.
The problem is that what she knows is limited and what she wants can often be a wrong desire.
We are all a work in progress and nobody knows it all. Meekness or being teachable is a great virtue in marriage.
Husband and wife should strive to live considerably with one another.
Put yourselves in one another’s shoes.
The following verses are probably the best advice for the couple
WIVES
1Pe 3:1-2 (AMPC) IN LIKE manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives, [2] When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him–to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband].
HUSBANDS 1Pe 3:7 (AMPC)
In the same way you married men should live considerately with [ your wives ], with an intelligent recognition [ of the marriage relation ], honoring the woman as [ physically ] the weaker, but [ realizing that you ] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [ Otherwise you cannot pray effectively. ]
How To Get Out Of The Prison. Sally and Bode were so much in love, or so, Sally thought. She was looking forward to the wedding and settling to raise a family with Bode. Sadly, Bode had other plans. He led her on, to the edge of nowhere and led her soul hanging to nothing. All the while Sally thought it was a romantic journey, she ignored all the warning signs and now she has been lethally thrown into a dungeon of sadness and bitterness. Bode got married to another person!
On the day she saw the wedding pictures on Instagram, Sally lost it all. Her praise vaporized into thin air. Bitterness settled and she became angry at God.
The case of Mrs. Johnson wasn’t different. Ever since she discovered her sweet loving Christian husband was cheating on her, she couldn’t easily forgive. Her trust bowl was shattered, her fragile heart was ruptured, her gait was wobbled, her dancing feet were frozen, her laughter became a dirge and her praise was gone.
The devil had Sally and Mrs Johnson where he wanted them. Soul imprisoned!
David in the Bible was there too. He said in
Psa 142:7 (KJV) Bring my soul out of prison, that I may praise thy name: the righteous shall compass me about; for thou shalt deal bountifully with me.
Every time you find it hard, difficult or impossible to praise God, the soul is in the prison. Every time your lips become heavy to praise God, the soul has been caught and shackled in the snare of the fowler. And when the soul is in that position, bountiful blessings will be impossible to receive.
Just like it’s impossible for a prisoner to have maximum benefit that life has to offer. His movement is restricted and he cannot meet great people. His choices are limited and his will are controlled and he must be under servitude. He can’t go on vacation and he can’t choose what he wants to eat. His life became regulated with force.
The Message Translation puts it this way:
Psa 142:7 (MSG) Get me out of this dungeon so I can thank you in public. Your people will form a circle around me and you’ll bring me showers of blessing!”
The dungeon of life is where you have ceased to give thanks to God.
How To Get Out Of The Prison
You must purge your soul of hurts, unforgiving spirits, bitterness, wounds, or just anything that hinders you from praising God continually.
You must find a place of forgiveness for those who dealt with you badly, cheated, jilted, deceived, and despitefully used you. You must find forgiveness for an erring spouse, and allow God to do His work. Hurts must not be allowed to hunt you down and wounds must not build mounds over your destiny.
Don’t allow anything to take your praise away! This is How To Get Out Of The Prison May God grant you more understanding.
Your relationship will not crash. Your marriage will not suffer a mishap!
I might look like this super amazon of a lady that has everything figured out, but there is a little girl in me that wants to be tantalized!
She wants you to be caring!
She needs you to be tender.
She doesn’t like it when you shout at her.
As singles in courtship, you must be careful that the TLC does not lead to bedroom! Keep the bed undefiled!
7. I want a lover-boy, not a lecturer or sermonizer
When she is tinkering with her moods, she needs you to lovingly find out what is happening and not lecture or sermonize!
It is not a classroom or church.
You are supposed to be a lover boy, not a lecturer or a pastor!
Sometimes, what your wife needs is just to know there is a husband who shows some understanding because she sometimes doesn’t even understand herself!
If you are still single and you have a lecturer or sermonizing lover, that is what will likely continue in the marriage. If it’s not something you like right now, it is in the order for you to go for counsel. Don’t walk down the aisle thinking all will just change overnight because you are now married.
8. I need you to whisper in my ears and taunt me lovingly
Your wife loves that a lot.
You just try it out.
Most husbands are too serious about reading Bible all the time or doing some office work at home.
Office work should be left at the office.
Have some family time and some “wife” time.
It would improve a lot of things.
Singles, no need to whisper anything, for now, you need more prayer whispers than ear whispers!
9. Concerning sex, make sure we both finish
This is strictly for married couples. Singles can just skip…lol
She doesn’t want to be abandoned along the mountaintop!
Sex for a man is a sure arrival.
For your wife, it is a gradual ascent, a mountain climbing, multi-orgasmic experience.
This requires a lot of skill and patience on the part of the husband to take it slowly and guide his wife to arrive before him!
10. I need you to find out my love language and speak it
Every lady has a love language.
Find out what it is and your wife’s peculiarity and simply stick with that language.
That way, you will be able to cultivate your love more effectively.
Singles, go ahead and do online tests to find what your love language is. It will stop all the language confusion at Babel of Tower and bring you into understanding one another as in the Pentecost experience.
May your marriage be blessed.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my wife genuinely
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, destroy every wrong spirit in our marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 5:7 (KJV) Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Plan a surprise for your spouse / lover
5 Deepest Desires Of Every Woman. The desires of ladies, women, and wives can be so amazing to men because of the male-female differences. Are you aware that men and women think and process differently?
1. Read My Body Language
Women love it when you can pick up everything about them. “How am I supposed to do that, when I am not the Holy Spirit?”
Well, it is about being sensitive and studying the one you claim you love and adore. Ladies are not sometimes good with words, but they are experts in non-verbal communication, so it can be painful when the husband in question is just insensitive!
A woman loves her husband to be able to sense her needs without having to communicate them!
So, husband, you’ve heard o!
However, ladies should communicate when it is obvious your husband is not picking up anything, it is better to talk than to suffer in silence.
5 Deepest Desires Of Every Woman
2. I need more foreplay Now, this is specifically for MARRIED women!
Husbands, learn to slow down so that your wife can always look forward to sex.
The lady requires more time for foreplay, much more than a man requires.
She may not say it, but that is the probable reason she is not enjoying the whole show as much as you would have wanted to. She needs an average of twenty minutes to be ready!
Singles ladies you don’t need foreplay for anything! You don’t need any play!
Follow this advice here:
Son 2:7 (MSG) Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem, by the gazelles, yes, by all the wild deer: Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is ripe—and you’re ready.
It is clear from that scripture. Don’t stir anything up. All those making out, kissing, and smooching are nothing other than afflictions.
3. Tell me I am beautiful and mean it from your heart
By the time your wife asks you, “Am I beautiful? She had needed it so badly, she couldn’t help it.
As a good husband, part of your responsibility is to keep verbalizing and affirming your wife by telling her how beautiful she is and why you think she is beautiful.
Don’t just admire her in your heart, say it!
For singles in courtship, it is okay to use good words and proclaim what you want to see in your future wife. Words are powerful, so use them to your advantage.
4. Surprise me with gifts or outings
She loves gifts, especially shiny gifts.
A surprise from time to time will go a long way to show your love for your wife.
The gifts don’t have to be expensive, but consistent. This is applicable to both singles and married
5. Pray for me and fill me with confidence Every lady loves a praying man. A lady’s confidence and assurance that all will be well, skyrockets when her husband prays for her regularly.
There is this rest that will surround her like a shield and give her assurance for the future.
So, dear husband, pray for your wife regularly.
Singles, pray more that have fun all over the place. The cinemas, the beach visits, the outings, and the Ice creams are all good, but they should not be done at the expense of spiritual exercises like praying!
These are the 5 Deepest Desires Of Every WomanMay your relationship and marriage be blessed.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to love my lover/spouse more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:7 (KJV) Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
I Will Always Love You, Dear. When you met that special one, butterflies were dancing Buga in your tummy. The exhilaration was palpable. Ecstatic moments jumbled into one another.
Few months after, all the butterflies were almost dead! What? What happened? The few butterflies that were barely alive, their wings were broken and alas, they could no longer fly! Their colours have turned monochromatic, the rainbow has disappeared. Cute little smiles and romantic chuckles that sent shivers down the spine have given way to frowns and snappy nasty body language and responses.
No more poems. The poet in him died and all inspiration simply expired. Flowers are no longer sold, and chocolates have been banned. Ice cream is now dangerous to health and no more time for Cinemas and romantic outings. No more candlelight dinners. The bulb was sufficient. No more car-door opening, and little kisses here and there. Chai!
Her dimples have melted and the smiles went a mile!
Singles alike in courtship were all over themselves but these days, one call per week is a luxury! What happened? Networks are misbehaving and salaries have not been paid. “I love you” became scarce and expensive, almost unavailable. What is going on here?
Well, every couple ought to have commitments to each other. These commitments should be verbalized, documented and recounted to each other from time to time. Consciously, deliberately!
What are some of these commitments?
Eph 4:2 (AMPC) Living as becomes you ] with complete lowliness of mind (humility) and meekness (unselfishness, gentleness, mildness), with patience, bearing with one another and making allowances because you love one another.
Here are a few of them
I will always love you, dear It should not just be something you say to fill in the gap of boredom, it should be a commitment that emanates from the heart.
This love should be unconditional. Love does not depend on attitudes, assumptions, or behaviors.
It is simply a commitment from a heart that is made up.
I will never cheat on you This particular commitment will advance your life and marriage in no small measure.
Adultery itself is a killer. It is a stupid sin because you are simply working against yourself in the event of an adultery.
That is why the scripture says that he that commits adultery lacks understanding
I will always be there spiritually
What a blessing it is to have a spiritual spouse! A spiritual spouse is not just a prayer machine, but a quick forever and one that does not harbour and pile up hurts and wounds.
Nothing in this world can replace a spiritually sensitive spouse who can pick signals from the frequency of heaven and who can feel the heartbeat of God.
How blessed are you if you are married to a spouse who is a God-chaser? I Will Always Love You, Dear If you above three qualities and commitments, the butterflies will keep on flying!
Have a great day
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will love my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to value and appreciate my spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 4:2 (MSG) And mark that you do this with humility and discipline—not in fits and starts, but steadily, pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love,
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make the right decisions today
3 Types of Men Women Don’t Want. Life is about change and adjustments. This devotional is not to spite men, but to call us to the responsibility God has given us as head of the home. It’s a huge responsibility.
If you fall into any category of men below, it’s time to change.
3 Types of Men Women Don’t Want
1. The night crawler You are no longer single. You are now married, and that reality needs to settle.
Why would a husband keep late nights? It just doesn’t speak well. If your wife has not been cooperative, the best response is to seek counsel and a solution and not some form of late-night moves.
Keeping your wife awake when she should be sleeping due to needless late-night paroles is not a good idea.
There are some environments that would naturally encourage cheating on her, you should not be found in such places again.
For those single, understand that you really don’t change after the wedding. So all bad habits should be expunged as a single.
2. The manipulator Here, the man uses his money or any other thing to coerce the wife into obedience.
At the end of the day, what you get is not obedience but a bitter, hurt, offended, and wounded wife. And that can be dangerous under the same roof.
These are abnormal relationships between couples. What God ordained is a loving, healthy relationship that will provide an enabling environment for the children to be raised.
As singles in relationships, don’t introduce money and gifts as rewards or punishments. The relationship will become money-driven and true love will escape into the air.
3. The non-spiritual husband Here, the man simply refuses to provide spiritual leadership for his wife and family.
He is evasive, full of excuses, and never puts God first place in their affairs.
He will never read his Bible. He will never pray.
The reality is that without a conscious and deliberate relationship with God, man will be incapacitated in providing any spiritual leadership.
Eyes are located in the head, so the man as the head of the house is supposed to give sight and vision to the family. The navigation system for the family and the compass lie with the man.
But the man can’t even see beyond his nose without God. His capacity for vision will be minimized.
For singles, ask a lot of questions and get to know properly who you are walking down the aisle with.
I will stop here this morning. These are the 3 Types of Men Women Don’t Want.
May your marriage be blessed.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am wise
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be a great husband
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:7 (GW) Husbands, in a similar way, live with your wives with understanding since they are weaker than you are. Honor your wives as those who share God’s life-giving kindness so that nothing will interfere with your prayers.
5 Things Women Shouldn’t Say In Marriage. Ola would not speak to his wife for days. He buried himself in his work. Outwardly, the Johnson family was the quintessential couple everybody admired. Their marriage seems planned out of the very heavens. They were models to younger people as their PDA was simply top notch!
But, all that was pulchritude! Ola Johnson was not happy! Alone in the house, they despised each other! Ola would not speak to his wife for days. Kelly Johnson was just simply confused how his once romantic husband had hibernated and shut down his emotions towards her.
They acted good in public but were wrecks in the home. They maintained social media life while their reality is tearing apart!
Strife became the order of the day. Little actions would lead to massive provocations. They both knew they won’t last that way. Ola would not bulge. Their sex life was emotionless and the few times they made love, Kelly could almost be reading a novel while they were at it!
What happened?
Yesterday we looked at 5 Things Men Shouldn’t Say In Marriage. If you missed it read it HERE
Today, we are looking at 5 Things Women Shouldn’t Say In Marriage. Well, Ola Johnson had been beaten with words. Being a chronic phlegmatic, and his wife the sharp-mouthed choleric, the only thing he felt safe to do was to resort to intimacy anorexia. He simply withheld his affection because he felt disrespected. He believed his wife would not change!
But what were the mistakes of Kelly Johnson? These are some of the words she used over and over again!
5 Things Women Shouldn’t Say In Marriage
1. I feel you are not being a man in this marriage. That would certainly crush his ego and he would be helpless because we are dealing with personalities here
2. Why can’t you learn from that Mr so and so? Never compare your husband with any other man. The results will be unpleasant.
3. With the way you are going, I am not sure you can provide for me and the family Never say this to your fiance or husband. If you know you love him and you are led by God, what you need to do is to intercede for one another.
4. You are just slow and lazy. The only thing you know to do is sleep and watch football. Your fiance or husband will not take likely to such words repeated in his ears. Those words won’t make him to change either.
5. I made a mistake when I married you. I never suffered like this in my parents’ house. When you know you could not take care of me, why did you marry me? If you understand one flesh principle in marriage, you won’t even talk like this!
These are the 5 Things Women Shouldn’t Say In Marriage. Read 1 Pet 3: 2 in Amplified Version!
I am going to stop here this morning. Note that this devotional is not to justify the unhealthy habits of spouses but to point your attention to the fact that wrong, negative, caustic words will only jeopardize the marriage more.
Good morning!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will respect my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me wisdom to treat my spouse right
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:2 (AMPC) When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him–to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband].
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Change your method and be better to your spouse
5 Things Men Shouldn’t Say In Marriage. Bode and Sade got married a few years back. Bode was the quiet easy going gentle giant while Sade is the vivacious hard laughing babe! And that was the attraction. Bode wanted an exciting wife to complement his inward introvert nature. And he got that for a few days only after their wedding.
Today, Sade is a shadow of herself. Bode is frustrated and Sade is hurt and bitter. What happened? Well, life happened, temperamental weaknesses visited and hibernated reactions came to life.
What really happened? They both came into the marriage with high expectations. They’ve had their fair share of quarrels here and there, but those were just child’s play compared to what they are experiencing.
Sade didn’t like harsh words because she was raised in a family where one single abusive word was never used.
Bode grew in an environment where he was cooked with negative utterances and vituperations.
Bode gave what he had. Sade reacted by withdrawing into her shell. Every excitement which Bode liked disappeared. Bode was frustrated and dished out more of the only thing he knew, harsh words.
He didn’t understand why just “stating the facts” can affect his wife. He believes his wife didn’t want to hear the truth!
He obviously forgot the scripture that says
Eph 4:15 (KJV) But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:
The truth must be spoken in love! Do you think your fiancee is reacting? Is your wife no longer talking and she is withdrawn? The reason might not be far-fetched.
Here are five examples of words you should not say to your wife or fiancee
5 Things Men Shouldn’t Say In Marriage
I thought I married a joyful wife. You are obviously a sadist The priest of the house should not say something like this.
I don’t like the way you make stupid mistakes. I am having doubts about this wedding/marriage She would make more mistakes if you are not careful
You are too slow for me. With the way we are going, we won’t last in this relationship/marriage You might end up having exactly what you said. Words are powerful.
What is wrong with you? You keep making mistakes every day. Are sure you are okay? She would lose her self-esteem and have self-doubts.
I am not sure you are well brought up. My mum is not like this. She is not lazy and she took care of my dad! Comparison in marriage is sacrilege!
These are just a few examples of Things Men Shouldn’t Say In Marriage. These kinds of statements will be like piercings of the swords in the heart of your wife. Sometimes it is the other way around and it is the husband on receiving end.
Whichever way, you are where you are today because of the words you have spoken. Start changing your vocabulary and let them be aligned with God’s word!
May God grant you grace to be a gracious person, whose tongue is bridled in your relationship or marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will speak healthy words.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, bridle my tongue and take every pain away in my heart
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 4:15 (GNB) Instead, by speaking the truth in a spirit of love, we must grow up in every way to Christ, who is the head.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Don’t talk when you are angry
The Bizarre Truth Behind Marital Offences. Mr. and Mrs. George have never had one week of peace since their wedding. One thing would happen, and they will get offended and stay in strife. Most of their marriage days have been filled with bickering, bitterness, and offences.
In the same vein, Debby and Craig fought most of the time in their courtship. They tagged along hoping things will change for the better when they wed and start living together. They should have consulted with the Georges to know that marriage does not annihilate offences.
What is the bizarre truth behind offences? I taught this message yesterday in church, on spur of the moment and this will bless you!
Take a look at the Holy Writ!
Mar 4:16-17 (KJV) And these are they likewise which are sown on stony ground; who, when they have heard the word, immediately receive it with gladness; [17] And have no root in themselves, and so endure but for a time: afterward, when affliction or persecution ARISETH FOR THE WORD’S SAKE, immediately they are OFFENDED.
In the above verse, affliction or persecution comes not because your spouse is unloving, not because your spouse is insensitive and whatever reasons you may proffer, they come for the word’s sake! And because that same word or revelation is not rooted, offence comes! And the seed of the word is lost and there is no fruit to show for it.
Let me give a practical example. Your spouse or your fiancee does something so annoyingly and refuses to ask for forgiveness and he’s even blaming you for it. You are wondering why your lover or spouse can’t own up. You are really angry and you get offended. You refuse to talk to him or her. Strife sets in, offence comes. Now, here is the bizarre truth. All that happened, not because your spouse is wicked or bad and all that, but because the devil doesn’t want any fruit from the word you heard last Sunday, midweek, or from your personal study!
Afflictions and persecution come for the word’s sake!
Amplified Bible puts it this way; …when trouble or persecution arises on account of the Word, they immediately are offended (become displeased, indignant, resentful) and they stumble and fall away.
You will not stumble! You will not fall away!
Be wise not to allow stuff between you and your lover or spouse to degenerate into strife! Forgive quickly!
Singles who are not in any relationship, refuse offences from colleagues, family, or friends.
Offence will stifle, choke, and strangulate the seed of the word, prophetic proclamations, and blessings from becoming a reality!
It is not your boss, friend, lover, or spouse that is the problem, it is on account of the word! This is The Bizarre Truth Behind Marital Offences!
May God grant you more understanding!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse to be offended
PRAYER FOR THE DAY My fruit will not be lost in Jesus name!
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mar 4:17 (CEV) But they don’t have any roots, and they don’t last very long. As soon as life gets hard or the message gets them in trouble, they give up.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY End all strife and bickering
How To End Quarrels And Bitterness. Ade and sally’s relationship was riddled with unending quarrels. They practically fought all through their courtship days. They hoped it would stop after the wedding, but alas, it intensified. They were both churchgoers, perceived as children of God, but filled with bitterness.
Somehow, they hoped things would change as each of them maintained their stances. They both had points to prove but nothing changed.
The reality is that wedding changes nobody. If you fight frequently during your courtship, you would most likely continue the quarrel party after the wedding.
Frequent quarrels should not be ignored or seen as normal as singles. Pay attention to it and seek help.
Yes, there will be friction that comes from male-female differences and temperamental differences, but there has to be a way of resolving those differences and forgiving each other as quickly as you can.
Bitterness in your relationship and marriage will slow you down, It will defile you and defile everybody around you.
It will create loopholes for the devil to exploit and create cracks that will be expanded.
How To End Quarrels And Bitterness
Heb 12:15 (KJV) Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;
Can you see that? It will cause grace to fail, it will trouble you and defile many others!
Bitterness is a no no!
Bitterness is defined as “anger and disappointment at being treated unfairly; resentment”
It includes extreme hatred and wickedness.
Now you don’t need this in your marriage! You can see that it is a tool in the hands of devil.
You are in courtship, you have not been calling each other and yet you want to get married? What’s that?
You are married and you sustain animosity for months at a time! Eh! You are not only going to ground your prayers, but you are also going to stop financial flow!
What has your spouse done! You must forgive, or a lot of things will simply be slowed down!
In your marriage, you should work at it! Both of you. Don’t just look on till it degenerates to a point you won’t like and thing get stagnant and messy! This is How To End Quarrels And Bitterness
Seek help. Seek counsel!
I pray God will grant you more understanding!
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I will not be bitter. I forgive easily
PRAYER FOR THE DAY I destroy the spirit behind incessant quarrels in Jesus’ name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Heb 12:15 (AMPC) Exercise foresight and be on the watch to look [after one another], to see that no one falls back from and fails to secure God’s grace (His unmerited favor and spiritual blessing), in order that no root of resentment (rancor, bitterness, or hatred) shoots forth and causes trouble and bitter torment, and the many become contaminated and defiled by it-
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY End all bitterness and forgive
Why Apostle Paul Said You Should Not Marry. Did Apostle Paul actually say this? Yes, he did. He was actually asking the singles to stay single if they can and the married to stay married and not contemplate separation or divorce. Why would Apostle Paul say this?
Let’s look at the context in which he said this.
1Co 7:27 (MSG) Are you married? Stay married. Are you unmarried? Don’t get married.
Now, I already know all the singles here want to get married, so that is not my subject of contemplation this morning.
The point I am trying to make is found in the next verse:
Why Apostle Paul Said You Should Not Marry 1Co 7:28 (MSG) But there’s certainly no sin in getting married, whether you’re a virgin or not. All I am saying is that when you marry, you take on additional stress in an already stressful time, and I want to spare you if possible.
Did you see that phrase?
All I am saying is that when you marry, you take on additional stress in an already stressful time!
Wow! Is there really additional stress that comes with marriage?
Well, the reality is that it is true!
Since you want to get married, (otherwise, you wouldn’t be on the Kisses and Huggs Club site, lol) what we should focus on is finding out what this stress is and how to manage the stress
The stress is what comes as a result of temperamental differences, man-woman differences, the needs of men versus the needs of women, and so on and so forth. This is Why Apostle Paul Said You Should Not Marry
And you know what, these differences can be very overwhelming and have led to separation and divorce in some couples. This additional stress can make you do what you don’t intend to do!
This additional stress comes when you refuse to learn the ropes. They come when you are not accountable to anyone in marriage. They come when you are unloving and not submissive. They come when you are trying to prove points in marriage. They come when you don’t understand that marriage is not a place to demand your rights, but a place to please your spouse after pleasing God. They come when you won’t love your wife the way the Bible recommended, and when you won’t submit to your husband the way the Bible advocated.
Prepare yourselves singles. Read all you can read. Go for wisdom. Work on your character. Develop a strong relationship with God. How do you relate with your roommates or colleagues at work now? Are they complaining about specific attitudes? That is what your future spouse would likely complain about after “eyes don clear!” Don’t ever go into marriage without proper Marriage Counseling! That you say apart is no longer an excuse, there are online Pre-Wedding Counseling that is comprehensive enough to give you a head start.
Married couples? Don’t be stressed out. Enjoy the wife of your youth. Make up your mind not to lose your joy! Treat one another tenderly. TLC – Tender Loving Care! Invest in your marriage. Go for Marriage Therapy when things are going South! When things are not working, don’t ignore or look on, or they will get worse, don’t just pray alone, learn, read, research, and go for Professional Therapy if need be!
May God bless your relationship and marriage!
I pray God will help you indeed.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will follow God’s leading for my life
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, lead me into your marital plan for me
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Co 7:27 (TPT) If you are married, stay in the marriage. If you are single, don’t rush into marriage.
The Drawer of Relationship and Marriage. Back then in our University days, we had to go and fetch water some five houses away when our water tank got depleted. We would usually use a water drawer, which could be scarce in those days.
Without the drawer, you are on your own. The one with the drawer was always the champion.
When you are the one that owns the drawer, you simply guard it jealously, because some fellows can be careless and break the drawer, spoil the rope and it would start leaking and all.
I want to teach you this morning how not to spoil your drawer! What is The Drawer of Relationship and Marriage?
Salvation is more than being saved from sin. The word salvation is “Yeshua” in Hebrews and it means deliverance, welfare, prosperity, salvation, victory (in relationship and marriage) and more.
Think of Salvation as well. Think of drawing protection, life, deliverance, health, prosperity, and more from that well.
What is The Drawer of Relationship and Marriage? How do I ensure my drawer is not spoiled so I can fetch good relationships, courtship, and marriage?
Here it is!
Isa 12:3 (KJV) Therefore with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation.
With joy! Joy is The Drawer of Relationship and Marriage!
No wonder the devil attacks your joy! No wonder your exuberance is always in contention!
Yorubas call Drawer “Doro!” Hey, don’t come and spoil my Doro!
When that guy starts disturbing you as a single for sex, he wants to spoil your drawer! Because afterward, you are going to be filled with guilt, lose your joy, and can’t fetch anything!
Husbands and wives, those little altercations that you allow to degenerate into strife and bickering, you are spoiling your drawer!
Guard your joy! Protect your Doro.
Leave my drawer alone!
It is not every quarrel you respond to. It is not every right you contend for. Go for peace and apologize quickly so you can fetch all you need out of that well per time!
Envy, jealousy, gossip, strife, bitterness, unforgiving spirit, animosity, and the like will spoil your drawer.
Avoiding them like a plague is simply how not to spoil your drawer!
Know this and know peace!
Good morning!
PRAYER FOR THE DAY I keep my joy intact
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isa 12:3 (MSG) Joyfully you’ll pull up buckets of water from the wells of salvation.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY End all strife and bickering
The Rock And Hole of Marriage. The ubiety of duality cuts across the landscape of human endeavors. Life has a way of dishing it out in twos. Man and woman. Boy and girl. Husband and wife. Heaven and earth. Light and darkness. Life and death. I could go on and on.
In the same vein, there are two coordinates I want to establish this morning with their significance and application.
The Rock And Hole of Marriage.
Let’s take a look at scripture.
Isa 51:1 (KJV) Hearken to me, ye that follow after righteousness, ye that seek the LORD: look unto the rock whence ye are hewn, and to the hole of the pit whence ye are digged.
We are exhorted to look at two things; the rock and the hole.
In our relationship or marriages, you are dealing with two dimensions in your spouse or lover if you are not yet wedded.
Your spouse or lover is a product of rock and hole.
The rock is that which you look up to. The scripture says that rock is Christ.
Look unto Jesus, constantly and continuously beholding His word.
In your relationship or marriage, that rock must be your motivation, allowing it to draw you and pull you closer to God. The closer you and your spouse or lover yield to that rock, the more you experience God, and the more you are established as a rock.
But then, we are told to look at the hole as well. The hole from which we are dug.
The hole represents that past where you came from. The mess from which your message emanated. The hole is that which you were delivered from. It is the snare that has been broken, and from which your soul has escaped. It is the past bondage that held you by the jugular, that the power of Christ, the rock pulled you from.
Why look at the hole? I can understand looking at the rock, it’s positive, and it presents a picture of progress. But the hole?
Well, looking at the hole is to usher you into perpetual gratitude, to have an overwhelming heart of thanksgiving to God for where he dug you from.
You could have died in that hole, but He brought you out and made you whole! Glory to God.
Looking unto the rock keeps you fired up and productive. Looking unto the hole keeps you humble and filled with thanksgiving.
These two dimensions, when engaged, keep you in your marriage and relationship. The Rock And Hole of Marriage.
May God grant you more understanding.
Have a great Sunday and be blessed.
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CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I look to the rock constantly
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, establish me upon the rock
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isa 51:1 (MSG) “Listen to me, all you who are serious about right living and committed to seeking GOD. Ponder the rock from which you were cut, the quarry from which you were dug.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Thank God for digging you out of the hole
Kisses of Enemies And Wounds Of Friends. Ade met Sally and professed his love. He was all over her. Six months later, Sally was heartbroken. Ade became her enemy. There have been several kisses, but they were kisses of an enemy.
Mr. and Mrs. Johnson have married two years ago. Mr. Johnson had a bad habit that only his wife knows. His wife was on his case, until he began to make changes. His ego was bruised, and his pride was punctured, but he got better. He was wounded, but they were wounds of a friend.
The scripture is filled with God’s wisdom. There is enough wisdom in God’s word such that, if followed, crises in relationships and marriages will be minimized.
Let’s take a look at the scripture
Pro 27:6 (KJV) Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
There is an obvious contradiction in the verse above. I would have understood if the Bible says “The kisses of a friend and the wounds of an enemy. But the scripture says “Wounds of a friend and the kisses of an enemy.”
The friend comes with wounds. The enemy comes with kisses. Kisses of Enemies And Wounds Of Friends
Your lover or spouse will often come with wounds, yet he meant well. Corrections and confrontations will burst you ego, will dissolve your pride and will challenge your weakness zone! You will feel wounded either in courtship or marriage because that which you are used to is being unsettled.
Never refuse instructions from your spouse because your spouse knows you in and out.
Pro 15:32 (KJV) He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding.
Get ready to be wounded by those who love you! The one decorating you with kisses only is actually an enemy! The one that doesn’t correct you and tells you what you want to hear all the time is an enemy.
True love can be tough. God chastises those He loves! It pleased God for Jesus to be wounded so that we might be saved. It took a kiss from Judas for Jesus to be betrayed.
A kiss came from the devil because the Bible says Satan entered Judas. But a wound came from God to Jesus. He was wounded for our transgressions!
Your friend is a “wounder” and your enemy is a “kisser! Know this and know peace!
When you understand these dynamics, you will know that your spouse is not an enemy, the one who is not your spouse but is taking advantage and telling you stuff is actually an enemy! This is where we will stop on Kisses of Enemies And Wounds Of Friends. May God grant you more understanding!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not cooperate with my enemy
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask God to show you the motives of people around you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 15:32 (MSG) An undisciplined, self-willed life is puny; an obedient, God-willed life is spacious.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Appreciate those who correct you
Love Before And After Wedding. Don’t Fall In Love With Just Anybody. Why fall in love with another person’s spouse? What do you wish the other person? That he or she should die so that you can get married to that person? Not a good wish and that is a prayer God will never answer.
Such desires waste your time, it blinds you to the original thing God wants to do in your life and ultimately bring delay in God’s individual plan for you. Besides, you will be endangering your life. The wrath of a man or woman whose spouse is being trifled with is not something to experience.
It’s the same when you have sex with your neighbor’s wife: Touch her and you’ll pay for it. No excuses. Adultery is a brainless act, soul–destroying, self–destructive; Expect a bloody nose, a black eye, and a reputation ruined for good (Proverbs 6:29,32-33 Message)
Why fall in love with a person you cannot spend your life with? You don’t like him, but you are in love. You know he doesn’t like you but you are in love. The pastor must not know about the relationship, but you are in love. Your parents must have none of that relationship, but you are in love. All your friends are warning you about this person, but you are in love. God’s principles are being violated but you are in love.
Well, that would not really be love, because you cannot love a person you don’t like! Something is amiss somewhere and it is an indication for you to apply the brakes.
Why fall in love with a man because of money?
You don’t love him, you hate his guts, but now you have fallen in love with his money. Man is not designed to be Jehovah Jireh, so don’t attempt to invent that.
That man promising you heaven and earth will fail you in the end. Why? Man is built to disappoint!
Why do you put up with him? Money? The wrong purpose for sticking together! Why would you put up with an older woman? Money? Wrong way of living! It is what Jesus Christ referred to as the deceitfulness of riches.
Married Couples – Love Before And After Wedding
Married couples, You fall in love over and over again with your spouse after the wedding because it keeps the marriage fire burning. It is what you must do deliberately.
Love Before And After Wedding. Let’s talk to married couples.
In marriage, you should not allow the fire to go out. Be creative. Never stop wooing each other.
There are intense temptations and traps out there, so you protect each other by falling in love repeatedly! Take yourselves out again. Toast her again. Get the flowers and write the poems again!
When you make that sacrifice for each other, you will have peace of mind in your marriage and you will be able to maximize the power of agreement that lies in a good marriage!
Finally, what do you do when you find yourself in love with the wrong person? Walk away. Run away. Fly away! By all means, save your soul!
Deliver thyself as a roe from the hand of the hunter, and as a bird from the hand of the fowler. (Proverbs 6:5 KJV)
I know it can be uneasy because of emotional connection, but when you think of the inevitable agony that lies ahead, the consequences of disobedience that are sure to come, the disenfranchising of oneself from the favour and support of God, and the delay of God’s beautiful plan, when you think about all those and more and you sum them together, you will muster enough strength to fly away and say a “strong NO” to a wrong lifestyle.
And the beauty of it all, God will be waiting to embrace you and make all things right! Decide today! May you receive strength today to live for God! This is Love Before And After Wedding
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give you direction
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 6:5 (MSG) Run like a deer from the hunter, fly like a bird from the trapper!
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Disconnect from all ungodly relationships
How To Be Romantic And Spiritual. Being spiritual is one thing, being romantic is another. One should not take the place of the other in marriage. Both are essential, necessary, and needed for successful family life.
The Speaking After speaking in tongues, make sure you speak to each other. This “speaking” is important and should be perpetual. Toasting should not end on the wedding day, in fact, it should just begin. Speaking the right words is needed for a great sexual experience, especially for the wife. It helps her to get ready!
On the other hand, singles should use the right words for each other, and align their souls rather than their bodies. The bodies are meant to come together after the wedding, not before.
What should come together before the wedding is the souls, in the place of beautiful conversation, healthy chats, romantic exchanges of words, making plans for the future, and envisioning the future together.
Speaking in tongues should not replace speaking loving words to each other. Both are very important. Speaking loving words to your lover should not replace speaking loving words to your creator.
Both are lovers. God is the lover of your soul, your dear one is the lover of your body! God loves you to speak loving words to Him. Your lover craves loving words to be spoken to him or her. After you have prayed, make sure you also play with your loved one!
There must be a balance of the romantic and the spiritual in order to keep your love life going and in order to make the relationship lead to marriage. This is How To Be Romantic And Spiritual
Speaking loving words to each other will keep false assumptions away. Speaking in tongues will keep demonic influence away.
Speaking loving, romantic words to each other adds strength to your love life. Speaking in tongues adds strength to your inner man.
With your love life, you fight doubt and insecurities. With your inner man, you fight and wade off attacks of the enemy.
That is why the scripture emphasizes that romance alone will not deliver.
Rom 14:17 (KJV) For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.
That is, if you want to bring the kingdom of God into your relationship or marriage, it is not in meat and drinks alone, it is not in ice cream and cinema outings alone, it is also in right living, in Shalom, and in the Holy Spirit!
Do you get it? That he is handsome alone would not be enough, can he speak in tongues? That she has hot legs alone would not suffice, does she have a hot heart as well?
I will stop here this morning! This is How To Be Romantic And Spiritual
As we begin a new month, I pray for you, that God will bring a new beginning into your life.
I prophesy new beginnings in your relationships, marriage, home, family, finances, and career.
So shall it be for you in Jesus’ name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a love being
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to balance my love life
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 14:17 (MSG) God’s kingdom isn’t a matter of what you put in your stomach, for goodness’ sake. It’s what God does with your life as he sets it right, puts it together, and completes it with joy.
This Is Why Your Love Life Took A Nap. Marriage wine can often dry up, turn sour or simply lose taste. Relationships can lose the spark, the fun, and the glee! Love can wane, can grow old, and can fast dissipate. Feelings are fickle, never with a forever status.
What do you do when love seems to wane when the tummy butterflies have all rested their wings, love birds have no more songs when words evoke no more feelings, and the blushing, the dimples, and the smiles have all gone?
What do you do at such times? This is the subject of our discourse this morning.
You are in courtship and everything seems intense, but recently, you are no longer excited. You don’t even look forward to hearing from each other and yet you still have peace that you are in the right relationship.
You are married, and the marriage bed has gone cold. Sex used to be a trip but right now it is a complete bore. You could almost be reading a novel while you are at it.
And yet the Bible unequivocally advises that
Pro 5:19 (KJV) Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
What happened? Here are a few things that could steal the wine from the marriage shelf, that could sap out and zap off every fun in the union.
This Is Why Your Love Life Took A Nap 1. When you allow pressures to stifle the pleasure There will always be pressures, especially pressures from work. Wise husbands and wives learn to leave office pressures at the office and not bring them home.
For those in courtship, do not allow work pressures to swallow up fun communication times, times of bonding, and times of aligning the souls.
Decide to enjoy your courtship through vibrant communication and unhindered flow irrespective of the pressures that be
2. When you allow the hustles and bustles of life to steal your rest in God Whether you like it or not, there will always be issues to deal with. You must have a commitment to each other in relationship or marriage to put each other first place after God.
3. When you refuse to spend quality time together Love will wane when you don’t spend time with each other. Nothing will ever replace quality time spent together enriched with destiny discussions and plans for the future.
Those times of fellowship can never be replaced with any other thing For singles in courtship, this quality time must not be tainted with sex and other sexual sins.
With compromise, quality time will become dangerous time, bringing with it, damnation and guilt.
4. When you refuse to give yourself self-development and learn how to please each other Bringing new wine into a relationship or marriage can be learned. Both parties must give attention to learning.
Study temperaments, weaknesses, and strengths. Learn how to minimize your weaknesses and maximize your strength
5. When you stop praying and the devil starts preying When the wine finished at the wedding at Cana in Galilee, they had to enlist the help of Jesus. There is no doubt that the supernatural is needed in keeping the fire of the bedroom hot and in bringing fresh wine into relationships and marriages.
Keep your relationship and marriage established on the foundation of prayers!
That is how it is going to last! These are different reasons Why Your Love Life Took A Nap
May God grant more understanding in Jesus’ name
CONFESSION I am refreshed in God
PRAYER Lord, I ask for new wine in my relationship/marriage
THOUGHT Pro 5:19 (MSG) Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose— don’t ever quit taking delight in her body. Never take her love for granted!
ACTION PLAN Invest time in your relationship/marriage
There’s No Going Along With The Crowd. Our generation is beleaguered with so many pressures that believers are even compromising heavily, and yet the truth is that God will not lower or change his standard because of the peculiarity of our generation or the pressures of our environment. God’s word remains forever.
Look at the following verse:
Eph 4:17 KJV This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind,’
The Spirit of God writing through Paul here says, as children of God, we cannot walk as the unbelievers walk. There has to be a distinguishing. We cannot be lumped together. Our light must shine in the midst of darkness. We must stand out. The life of God in us will not allow us to live carelessly.
Message translation says we cannot move with the crowd!
Eph 4:17 MSG And so I insist–and God backs me up on this–that there be no going along with the crowd, the empty-headed, mindless crowd. There’s No Going Along With The Crowd!
You as a child of God cannot flow with the tide. Having done all, you’ve got to stand, unmoved, unshaken, and unyielding to the grip of iniquity.
Verse 20 says: Eph 4:20 KJV But ye have not so learned Christ;
That is not what we learn about Christ when we gave our life to Christ. At what point did we accommodate the devil’s antics into the programme of our lives?
At what point did we think that as a child of God, you can be dating three people at a time?
At what point did we start combining a life of fornication with a life of leading others in worship?
At what point did pastors think they can go free with sleeping with naive church members because they are anointed? That is not how we learned Christ! There’s No Going Along With The Crowd!
Eph 5:2 MSG Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.
You’ve got to learn a life of love and not a life of lust. God did not love us in order to get something from us! The moment you say you are in love with a person and then you want something you can get, either money or sex, you have moved from love into lust. People ask me, how can I know whether he or she loves me? That is the answer right there!
Love wants to improve the other person’s life, not deplete it. If you are in a relationship with a person, and your Christian life goes down, watch it. God will not lead you into a relationship where all you have is the anguish of the soul, a life of iniquity, and a life full of lust. You cannot tell me you love a lady whom you have impregnated thrice and paid for abortions. That is not love!
Look at the next verse:
Eph 5:3 MSG Don’t allow love to turn into lust, setting off a downhill slide into sexual promiscuity, filthy practices, or bullying greed.
I will stop here this morning! Good morning! There’s No Going Along With The Crowd!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a love being. I love like God loves.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, show me how to imitate you through your word
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:4 GNB – Nor is it fitting for you to use language which is obscene, profane, or vulgar. Rather you should give thanks to God.
Two Indications That A Marriage Might Crash. Our Marriages will not crash in Jesus’ name. However, there are indications or tendencies we should guard against.
These indications are sure signals that marriage will crash.
Two Indications That A Marriage Might Crash. What are they?
1. When the couple lives in deception No marriage can be built on deception. Deception is a sandy, fragile, frail, and flaky foundation that would seem to hold a marriage for a while, but will give in, and crash eventually.
Deception brings with it, false promises and this even becomes intense when both husband and wife are deceiving and lying to each other.
It is a matter of time before the loud crash is heard around and beyond.
Pro 27:6 (KJV) Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
It is even worse if the couple knows they are in deception, and they keep encouraging each other rather than seeking help.
2. When the couple lives in isolation A couple that lives in isolation will die in desolation.
It is not a curse, it is a predictable end.
A couple that has nobody speaking into their lives is at risk.
