I discussed the topic “How To Overcome Hurt In Marriage” yesterday and today, I will be concluding on the topic.
We established that the enemy often seeks to use the weapon of hurt to wrought his 3 fold agenda in marriages which is to steal, kill and destroy. No marriage is immune to the strategies and attacks of the enemy. He will often steal from our marriages, kill and snooze out life from our marriage and totally destroy all that our marriage stands for.
Hurt is a blessing blocker. When you are hurt, your heart cannot receive from God.
Getting rid of hurts and making sure your heart is guarded against any form of hurt that may arise. See the spiritual implication of hurt and what it can potentially do to your marriage.
If you don’t learn to handle your hurts the right way, it will lead to bitterness, which can lead to rage which can lead to all sorts of vices like murder.
There is a right way and a wrong way of handling hurts. Make sure you are not a victim to the deadly poison of hurt.
Some wrong and unhealthy ways to handle hurt include:
1. Vengeance or retaliation. This is when you allow the hurt to get at you so much that you act back based on the hurt. Retaliation could come in various ways, wanting to hurt your spouse back, or inflict pain.
2. Closing your heart We have a tendency to block our hearts as a way of protecting our hearts from further hurts.
3. Rehearsing or replaying the hurt We may also be in the rot of replaying the words or event that hurt us.
I know there are different levels and degree of hurt, but whichever, we have a responsibility of guarding our heart and we have a choice not to be hurt.
The best way to guard our heart against hurts is taking communion. Try it because it works so well. Take communion and plead the blood of Jesus over your heart.
Also take authority over the hurt. Exercise authority over words that cause hurts. Guard your heart against the effect of hurt using these two scriptures
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Luke 10:19 KJV
No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord. Isaiah 54:17 KJV
Anytime there is a quarrel between couples and there are exchange of harsh words, you will do well to guard your heart against this hurt.
Even after you have made up and started talking, if not properly dealt with , you could still be nursing the hurt. Get rid of the hurt and don’t allow any root of bitterness defile you.
Let your heart be void of offence, bitterness or hurt against your spouse, siblings, parents, God, life, etc
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse to be hurt. I refuse to be bitter.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to forgive those who hurt me.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord . Isaiah 54:17 KJV
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to get rid of offense
Every marriage atone time or another will need the wine in the marriage to be renewed or replenish. This happens probably because we made more withdrawals than deposits in the emotional tank of each other.
Life happens and a times we get too busy or occupied with our tight schedules that we lag behind in the things that make our marriage sizzle. Maybe as a wife you have been busy with house chores, children , in laws, office work and you have been a liitle grouchy lately.
As a husband too, maybe you have been cranky lately with bills piling up and their deadline approaching or as a son to your parents you have responsibilities to fulfill or maybe your mechanic played a fast one on you and the list could be endless of different things that get us overwhelmed with life itself.
All these will eventually affect our marriage one way or the other.
In John 2:1-11 in the story of the Marriage at Cana in Galilee, we saw that at a particular point and time in the marriage the new finished. Thank God for Jesus being around at the marriage.
Jesus is the only solution for finished wine in our marriage. But Jesus alone did make it happen. Just as your being born again doesn’t guarantee the automatic renewal of the wine of your marriage.
In the marriage at Cana of Galilee, the key players are
1. Jesus Christ 2. The mother of Jesus 3. The Servants 4. The Bride and Groom 5. The chairman of the ceremony
For there to be renewal of your marriage wine you also need these people in your marriage.
1. Jesus Christ. – He is the Word. You need the word to be spoken over your marriage. You have to have an active relationship with the word and invite Jesus into your marriage.
2. The mother of Jesus. – you need people who care and are interested in you because they love you. They notice the little details of your life about your life and watch out for you. You have to give them the permission into your space.
They are like your mentor. This could also pass for the Holy spirit. Who nudges you that the wine in your marriage needs renewal.
3. The servants. –These are like your Protégées. They will do whatever you ask them to do. You must know how to manage them for the benefit of your marriage. Don’t let them become pain to you, they are gift. This could pass for your faculties you employ and yield in obedience to Jesus
4. The bride and groom. – they are the couples whose marriage the wine needs renewal. Their marriage can become beautiful again. They can be helped of God and become the envy of all people.
5. The chairman of the ceremony. – this stands for the unbelievers around who will witness and share in the joy of what the Lord has and can do in your marriage when invited.
May we always allow Jesus into our marriage. God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY The wine of my marriage will not finish. I receive divine refilling.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to know when I need a refill.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY John 2:5 His mother saith unto the servants, Whatsoever he saith unto you, do it.
It takes the grace of God for you accept discipline with humility. The most natural way you would likely react would be to reject it instantly. Maybe, you spent longer than you should at a friend’s place and your mother grounds you.
“But, it was just 30 minutes” you say to her. Instantly your brows build up a storm on your face, your mouth shoots out, you fold your arms and turn an almost 180 degree away from your mother. This is not how to accept discipline with humility.
“Not just 30 minutes only, you also didn’t wash the dirty plates in the sink before you left,” your mum replies.
Just 30 minutes, but you stayed longer than you should and didn’t wash the plates also.
The first thing you should have said was “I am sorry, mummy.” That’s how to accept discipline with humility. That alone would first make your mother calm down.
“I will wash the plates immediately.” Another sentence that will douse the situation again. Then you can start to give your reasons for staying long, that is if they are tenable. If they are not don’t say anything. Accept discipline with humility.
Saying sorry is a sign of true humility. It shows you are sorry for your actions and are open to making amends for what you have done.
Here is what the bible says about people who are humble
“The Lord hates those who are proud. You can be sure that they will be punished. Psalms 149: 4 ICB.
“God is against the proud but he gives grace to the humble” James 4:6 ICB.
God doesn’t like pride because it is a sin. Pride in your salvation through Christ and as a God’s creation is good. Learn humility; accept discipline with humility.
Being proud is saying that you are above mistakes and therefore can’t and shouldn’t be corrected. As a child, you need to be always corrected.
May God give you a heart that is open to correction. Amen.
Prayer: Lord, give me the spirit of humility through Your Holy Spirit. Teach me to accept discipline with humility. In Your mighty name I pray, amen.
Action point: Remember to always apologise first before giving excuses.
It is the greatest miracle of all ages. After the miracle of resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ, it is the next greatest mystery of all times. The worshipped will live in the worshipper! The Trinity became domiciled in humanity! It’s unheard of, but that was what happened.
It is the believer’s greatest advantage which has been provided. It is the greatest synergy that will ever happen between the divine and the humane. This mortal body of ours will become an abode, a milieu to the Spirit, not just any spirit, but the Holy Spirit! He is the helper. He is the interpreter of scriptures. He is our teacher. He brings understanding. He empowers us. He energizes us. He reveals. He explains. He dissolves puzzles of life. He demystifies enigmas!
2Co 4:7 KJV But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the Excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.
He teaches us all things. He helps me to write fresh word on KHC devotional everyday, since 2010, without fail, with amazing testimonies of lives touched around the world. He brings this devotionals to you and makes it applicable to you in a unique way. One write up daily, several lives blessed, shackles broken, sexual perversion destroyed! Help provided!
He helps you to decide. He helps you to identify the right persons and the wrong persons. His name is the Holy Spirit! He lives in you. He propels you. He moves you!
He was the secret strength behind the exploits of the patriarchs and the prophet of old! He was the secret behind the parted sea, the plagues unleashed on the Egyptians, the sun that stood still, the force behind the stone that felled Goliath, the exploits of Elijah and his protégé, Elisha and so many others too numerous to mention. He was the secret behind Samson!
Jdg 13:25 KJV And the Spirit of the LORD began to move him at times in the camp of Dan between Zorah and Eshtaol.
As long as the Spirit of God moved Samson, his hands wrought unimaginable exploits. If you will be outstanding in this generation as a child of God, you should not joke with the Holy Spirit of God.
Jesus had to wait for Him to come before his ministry took shape and the miracles began. The apostles had to tarry for him to come and be endued with power from on high before their ministry exploded. But today, we don’t even have to tarry for him, we only need to receive him.
He helps us to resist sin. He helps us to say No to compromise. He brings light to darkened areas of our souls. His sweet voice is an elixir and a soothing balm in difficult and painful times. His peace enraptures and preserves us in the midst of storms.
You cannot do without him. That is why he has been provided. He makes Christianity exciting. He eliminates frustrations and helps to say “Abba Father!”
Samson took him for granted, and his destiny was terminated. It was that profound. You have been configured as a child of God to survive with His help. When you ignore him, you suffer for it.
It is not wise to ignore your maker. You will simply be ‘unmade’ like that! When he departed from King Saul, he transitioned from royalty to madness!
It is high time you get filled with the Holy Ghost. It is high time you tap into the vast reserve of divine and incredible power that is available for you as a child of God. It is high time you initiate a conscious and deliberate relationship with the Spirit of God.
Samson’s end came with one sobering statement! Don’t ever get to that spot in your life! Don’t ever dance in that forbidden zone! What is that statement?
Jdg 16:20 KJV And she said, The Philistines be upon thee, Samson. And he awoke out of his sleep, and said, I will go out as at other times before, and shake myself. And he wist not that the LORD was departed from him.
Sinful lifestyle, unrepentant attitude, taking God’s grace for granted, undisciplined life, and lack of self-control got Samson to this spot!
The Spirit of God has departed and he didn’t know! How many people are simply going through the motions, both in the laity and the clergy, in the pews and he pulpits, shaking themselves as before, but in reality, they are disenfranchised for the Holy Spirit because of sin, disobedience, and compromise.
Before the philistines lay their hands on you, while you are frolicking on Delilah’s laps, wake up and take charge of your destiny! If the philistines lay their hands on you, the first thing they are going for is your eyes, where the scriptures makes no more meaning and the conscience is seared!
Get back to a relationship with the Holy Spirit today. Stay away form sin and compromise, and let God begin a new thing in your life, relationship and marriage.
I pray for God’s help for you this day, this week in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be disconnected from my Help provided in Jesus name
PRAYER FOR THE DAY I pray for God’s wisdom in the area where help has been provided for in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth:for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak:and he will shew you things to come. (John 16:13 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Write out your goals about your relationship with the Holy Spirit.
Jer 33:1-3 KJV (1) Moreover the word of the LORD came unto Jeremiah the second time, while he was yet shut up in the court of the prison, saying, (2) Thus saith the LORD the maker thereof, the LORD that formed it, to establish it; the LORD is his name; (3) Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.
This is what I love about the God’s word. The word of the Lord came unto Jeremiah… Here, it is like saying a human being walks up to you…but actually, God’s word is more tangible than a human. The word of God is life…it is alive and it is the source of every life. It is that same word that became flesh and dwelt among us!
You see, the word of the Lord will always come and that is the beginning of good things in your life and the end of unpalatable experiences. The word of the Lord….let it come unto you daily before you leave your room, before you step out into your daily endeavor, it is the secret of life! Before you see the dawn of the day, and step out into the early morning sunshine, let the word of God light your soul in its blazing Shekinah glory!
And you see, the word of the Lord was not just coming unto Jeremiah…the scripture says it came unto him the second time…. God is a God of the second chance, and the third chance and the fourth chance and until you get it! He will come to you again and again because of His loving kindness and mercy…to you out there reading this…don’t back out on God, for He will lovingly embrace you when you respond to His word. You are not too far-gone; don’t allow the devil to deceive you. God will embrace the vilest of sinners that come unto Him and wash them clean as white as snow!
I then I love this… “…while he was yet shut up in the court of the prison. The word of God is not location-limited or circumstance-hindered. It does not discriminate and it does not play politics! It is not partial or biased. There is no distance in the realm of the spirit. That word came unto Jeremiah while he was still locked up.
Do you feel locked up and confused in a relationship? Do you feel barred and busted? The word of the Lord is what will free you. For you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.
In that situation that looks very bleak, what you need to get you out is the word of God. In those situations, the last thing your flesh wants to do is to read or study God’s word. Your flesh wants to panic, cry, gossip, rant, complain and play the blame-game. It wants to get depressed and have some pity-party.
But you see, in such situations, you cannot allow your body to dictate to you. You must put your body under by diving into God’s word to hear what He will say unto you.
You see, whatever you are facing right now, whatever imbroglio you find yourself, whatever relationship issue or marriage pressure that faces you, one thing guaranteed to sort you out is to know God’s word. And that word will come unto wherever you are. Joseph was in the prison until the word of God tried him. That word will dissolve every puzzle and unravel every enigma.
You are confused as to the choice of who to marry? Get back into God’s word for in Him is life and the life is the light of men! The life gives you energy to go the way that the light will show you.
Verse 3 says
Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.
Message translation says:
Jer 33:3 MSG ‘Call to me and I will answer you. I’ll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own.’
You see, there are things about your life, relationship and marriage you can never figure out on your own. You don’t often see beyond your nose. Your sight is often terminated by the horizon.
There are deceivers. A handsome man is not always a God loving man. A rich man is not always a nice man. A wicked man can be mercifully cruel! A beautiful woman can be a strange woman. The bible talks about a beautiful face on an empty head! How do you figure out some of these things?
The first thing is that the word of God must come unto you. The second thing is that you learn to call unto Him and He will answer you! The question is will it be that easy? Just call Him and then the next thing is that He will answer? This is the way I want you to see it. When you call a stranger, you’re introduce yourself first. When you call a friend, he already has your number and sometimes, you don’t even greet him or her before you say what you want to say. The scripture above is obviously one of a friendship, a relationship with God.
Call unto me, and I will answer… It didn’t say, “Call unto me, and introduce yourself and then I will consult my angel to find out who you are…”
It’s just like “Call unto me, and I will answer! Why? The background is that the word of the Lord already came unto you. There is already a relationship! It is on that premise that you call unto Him and He will answer you!
I pray for you this morning that even as you read this, the word of the Lord will come unto you to lift you out every miry clay and set you foot upon the mountain. You will overcome that challenge by the word of God.
You are not condemned because of that mistake; the word of God will come unto you and make you a new specie! You will not be cut off in the midst of your days. The very thing you need to know this day, God’s word will bring it unto you! Stop crying, wipe the tears off and get into God’s word! CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a lover of God’s word. I have what it takes to know and live the word.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will help you to know the Word
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. (John 1:1 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study a book on how to know God’s plan for your life
Now that you know what you should do, do it! Do what you should do! What is the change that you need to embrace? What is that thing or those things you need to start doing?
Knowing what to do and not doing it is a sin. Look at it here in the book of James
“And when a person knows the right thing to do, but does not do it, then he is sinning.” James 4:17 ICB.
Refusing to do the right thing shows both arrogance and ignorance of the things of God. Like we learnt in the last post that God hates the proud, God also hates feigned ignorance. So do what you should do.
Sometimes you can pretend to be ignorant of what you are supposed to do so as to fool the other person. You may fool the person, but not God. Remember that He knows and sees all things.
You are also telling God that you are not a sinner and saying God is a liar. But God doesn’t lie
If we say that we have not sinned, then we make God a liar. We do not accept God’s true teaching. 1 John 1:10 ICB
Making the changes that are needed is a sign that you value and respect the other person. Therefore learn to do what you should do.
When you apologise and start to do what you have promised to do, it builds more love between you and the other person. It also speaks well about you. You are seen as truly repentant and humble.
A word of caution though – don’t just do what you should do because you are asked to. Do it because it is the right thing to do. Don’t do it physically while in your heart you are rebelling, grumbling and hating every minute of what you are doing.
I haveoften heard that those we love hurt us deeper than anyone else. Especially our spouse. I had felt it can’t be that bad.
This world is full of hurtful people. I think the hurt is deeper when in marriage you hurt yourselves and keep on hunting yourselves unless you made up your mind not to hurt.
Hurt is a decision. It is not based on your feeling. You have to make a conscious effort and decision against hurt. Some people have been hurt most years of their life.
That is what the devil wants. He is busy having a nice time stealing joy, peace, life, compassion, unity and love from families.
The point is, people, your spouse, and those you hold dear to you will not stop hurting you but you have to make up your mind you won’t allow the hurt get at you.
Hurtful words spoken are like the cutting of the sword especially if your spouse is a choleric. You cannot prevent people from misunderstanding you, people judging you falsely, lying about you etc.
There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health. Proverbs 12:18 KJV
From this scripture, you can pray for your spouse or of its a God ordained relationship or a relationship you can’t avoid. Pray that their tongues become the tongue of the wise that brings healing.
Hurt is like drinking poison and hoping your neighbour dies. That’s not going to happen. Hurts make you bitter. You can be bitter all your life if care is not taken. You will just see that 60 years of your life is gone without achieving much because of hurt and bitterness.
Let receive Grace from the Lord. Jesus was hated, misunderstood, lied against, misjudged, criticised, yet none of this affected him.
He choose to be immune against hurt. He kept His vision before His eyes. He choose between being powerful or being pitiful. He couldn’t possibly have died for humanity if He hated humanity. If he didn’t forgive on time, He couldn’t go to the cross.
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Luke 10:19 KJV
Jesus knew we will be faced with hurt and made provision for it. We have to walk in our authority over hurts.
No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord , and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord . Isaiah 54:17 KJV
You have to take charge of your emotions. Not even your feelings should be strong enough to stop you from fulfilling your purpose. You are only answerable to one. The one who died on the cross for you. When you face to face before Him on the judgement day, you will have no excuse to offer. Jesus passed through the same and was victorious. He overcame and gave you the victory. He gave the blood of Jesus, the Word, the shield of faith, communion etc.
You have to take the shield of faith which is the Word of God. Anytime words are spoken to you that are hurtful, lies, etc remind yourself and confession out loud and use it against the wile of the enemy.
Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. Ephesians 6:16 KJV
Remember protect yourself against hurt and every negative emotions.
Protect yourself Gods way. There are negative ways of dealing with hurts. I will talk about that later.
Whether you want to believe it or not, angels are real. That is one of the reasons you are still alive today!
There are demonic beings and principalities all over the place that you cannot see with your physical eyes who are looking for every opportunity to carry out their master’s mandate which is steal your joy, to kill your destiny, and to destroy your relationship with God, and ultimately, end your life, if the opportunity arises.
No wonder the scripture says that the devil is come down with a great wrath. He knows his time is short. He is a like a roaring lion looking for whom he can devour.
But you also need to know that there are angels all over the place that you cannot see with your physical eyes as well! They are mighty massive beings that are constantly watching out for the plans of the enemy and thwarting them!
When we pray to God, God sends His angels to us. When we are careless and we have not prayed, God still sends His angels. Otherwise, some little loophole and the devil would have struck, but God’s mighty angels would not allow.
Let’s look at a few scriptures
1. They are committed to keeping us!
For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. (Psalms 91:11 KJV)
God has given His angels charge to ensure that we are kept! Glory to God. In these days of palpable fear of Covid-19 and terrorism, we are kept! We are kept by His power. We are surrounded. We are not left alone. You need to have that consciousness!
The angel of the Lord encampeth round about them that fear him, and delivereth them. (Psalms 34:7 KJV)
2. We have individual angels guarding us!
Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven. (Matthew 18:10 KJV)
Kenneth Hagin of blessed memory once had an open vision where He saw Jesus Christ and a mighty being standing nearby. In the course of their conversation, Kenneth Hagin asked Jesus Christ, “who is that fellow?” and Jesus Christ answered “That is your angel! He referred him to the scripture above and told him that our angels don’t leave us when we grow up! They are still protecting us! Glory to God!
3. Angels are not to be worshipped.
Are they not all ministering spirits, sent forth to minister for them who shall be heirs of salvation? (Hebrews 1:14 KJV)
Angels are not to be worshipped; only Jesus is to be worshipped! That is why when an angel appears to a human in their fullness and on a supernatural level, the first thing they say is “Fear not!” and they will not allow you to worship them!
Why? They are ministering spirits! The nearest word is “waiters!” They are waiting on us who are heirs of salvation! Glory to God, I am not alone! You are not alone! There is a fellow, a mighty being, a supernatural being, guarding you!
4. To activate their ministry in your relationship, fill yourself with God’s word!
Bless the Lord, ye his angels, that excel in strength, that do his commandments, hearkening unto the voice of his word. (Psalms 103:20 KJV)
Here, the scripture tells us that they excel in strength. They are mighty beings. They do the commandments of God and listen; they hearken to the VOICE of His WORD! It is the voice of God’s word.
When your utterances are aligned to God’s plan for your life, you release the ministry of angels to come to bear for you.
In order words, stay in God’s plan and speak His word constantly. In order to speak His word constantly, you have to study that word regularly.
5. Don’t make negative utterances!
When you make negative statements, you deactivate their ministries.
Suffer not thy mouth to cause thy flesh to sin; neither say thou before the angel, that it was an error: wherefore should God be angry at thy voice, and destroy the work of thine hands? (Ecclesiastes 5:6 KJV)
Negative words attack your faith and bring fear. Only speak God’s word in any situation you find yourself. Stop speaking facts, speak the truth!
May God grant us more understanding!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY The angles of God encamps around me because I fear the Lord
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God’s counsel and will become a reality in your life
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY And he dreamed, and behold a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven:and behold the angels of God ascending and descending on it. (Genesis 28:12 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Fill yourself with God’s word
Yesterday we began to look at discipline. Today, we will see how you as a child should accept discipline. The first thing you need to know is that your parents love and want the best for you. It’s only a child that is loved by a parent that is corrected and disciplined. So you need to accept discipline as a show of love.
Think of it like this; why would your parents remind you to brush your teeth every night before going to bed? They are not asking you to brush your teeth or that of your sibling or even theirs. It’s your teeth and you will carry them for the rest of your life in whatever condition you put them in.
So, if you brush them twice daily, you will enjoy perfect dental health in future. And if you don’t listen to their advice, you will have bad dental health as well as reap the consequences of it. The consequences include: a bad self-image, rotten teeth and gums, bad breath and more. You see that? So you need to accept discipline as a show of love.
Your parents discipline you out of the love they have for you, not hate like you would like to think. Just like God telling us not sin because sin in the end has consequences that can never benefit us in any way. It can only harm and destroy us.
“If you do good, I will accept you. But if you do not do good, sin is ready to attack you. Sin wants you. but you must rule over it.” Genesis 4:7 ICB
Also, knowing discipline is done from a place of love (when you accept discipline as a show of love) gives you the power to grow from being a person that doesn’t know how to do something to someone who does now. When you learn how to arrange and keep your clothes well, you have grown into a well-organised person.
“I correct and punish those whom I love. So be eager to do right. Change your heart and lives. Rev. 3:19 ICB.
Reciprocate the love of your parents by releasing yourself to discipline. And by doing so, you are creating for yourself an adult life filled with excellent values that help add to your society and church. Say to yourself right now: I accept discipline as a show of love.
I pray that your heart will be open and ready for discipline. Amen.
Prayer: Lord, help me to see the actions of my parents towards me in light of the love they have for me. Help me to also obey you and receive your discipline because I know you love me too much to see me remain in sin.
Action Plan: How about apologizing to your parents for disobeying them and thanking them for their love for you.
We startedon the topic “These types of couples need urgent help” yesterday, we will continue today
4. Two people who are sentimental
When two people who are sentimental get married, their lives will be devoid of principles that are meant to keep them focused and energetic in their marriage and home. Two sentimental people will always judge a situation from sentimental point of view rather than principles.
In no time, they can ruin themselves because you cannot go very far living and swimming in the ocean of sentiments. They would not be able to achieve much because they would have excuses for their mediocre lifestyles.
5. Two people who are angry
Two angry people in a relationship and marriage cannot go far. See the scriptures:
Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul (Proverbs 22:24-25 KJV)
The scripture here advises that you should not get involved with somebody that has anger problems and who refuses to work at it.
An angry man can take a knife or gun one day and end it all. An angry wife can ruin things in seconds.
Take a look at the Message Translation:
Don’t hang out with angry people; don’t keep company with hotheads. Bad temper is contagious–– don’t get infected (Proverbs 22:24-25 Message)
6. Two people who are deceptive
Another dangerous combo is ‘two people who are deceptive.’ They both operate under delusion of grandeur. They tell themselves lies and refuse to confront each other. They sweep things under the carpet and live under illusions. They deliberately flout God’s principles hoping that somehow things will work out.
Everybody around them wonders why they can’t see the obvious. They are unapproachable and unreachable. But the scripture is very clear:
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. (Galatians 6:7 KJV)
No matter how we pretend, we cannot mock God. You can do all of that with humans, but not with God. At the end of the day, it is not worth it wasting time on what would not work.
7. Two people who are unforgiving
Lastly, two people who refuse to forgive one another easily can block the blessings of God in their marriage, home and life.
Bitterness of heart is a blessing blocker. If one of the couple is forgiving and praying for the other, it can be easier in resolving the issues, but when both parties are hurt and bitter from time to time, they are not helping themselves, they are not helping their home and of course, the inflow of God’s blessings and favour will be truncated.
Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; (Hebrews 12:15 KJV)
Root of bitterness in a marriage will eventually spring up and get everybody including children defiled.
The way out
So what do you do? Seek help. Don’t keep quiet and watch things degenerate. Re-connect to God and pray a lot. Seek wisdom from pastors or mentors. Seek to understand your spouse and see how he or she is thinking to have the right perspective.
I pray concerning every storm in your relationship and or marriage this morning, be still in Jesus name! I speak the peace of God, Shalom, not missing, nothing broken over you and yours in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will grow in my relationship with my spouse.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 2 Corinthians 6:14 (KJV) Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to be faithful to your partner
It’s important to learn how to accept discipline as a child. The word ‘discipline’ is quite common. How many times have you had this word thrown around you by your parents? It must be like forever. Or is it like every 5 seconds you hear them use “discipline” in every sentence they say to you?
How come that’s the only word they are using? Like is that the only word in their dictionary?
How about when God disciplines you? Do you think God is just like your parents too? Well, He is like them and much more than them.
Don’t see discipline as a bad thing. It’s a good thing that will automatically build you up into a matured, responsible and God-fearing person. So you must learn how to accept discipline.
When your parents tell you to arrange your clothes well in your wardrobe, clean your room and take your bath regularly, they are teaching you to be neat in life.
When they discipline you for taking something of theirs without their permission, you are being taught a lesson about taking someone’s thing without permission. If you they don’t do that, you could end up being called a thief outside if you do so outside of the house.
Asking you to brush your teeth every night before you sleep is teaching you good dental hygiene that will increase your chances of having perfect dental health in adulthood.
It may look hard and time consuming, but it’s for your own good. The more time you give towards doing what you are supposed to do, the more it becomes part of you.
“Anyone who loves learning accepts being corrected. But a stupid person who hates being corrected is stupid.” Proverbs 12:1 ICB.
May the Lord give you the grace to receive and embrace discipline at all levels. Amen.
Prayer: Lord, give me a heart that accepts and cherishes discipline. Help me not to refuse it. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Action point: What areas have you been rejecting discipline in your life? Think and write them out. Begin to pray for help to do them and do so immediately.
Sister Faith was spiritual! While on campus, she was everywhere. From prayer group, to the Choir and then the missions, she tirelessly served God and it was obvious God’s hands were upon her. She counseled younger ladies, prayed for them and ensured new converts were established in the fellowship. The fellowship missed her like “Mississippi” when she left.
At the one year national orientation camp, the fire continued to burn, but not for long! The news soon filtered, she got involved in a relationship with someone who is not born again. All the attempts of other ‘brethren’ to stop her were futile.
In later years, she was not happy. Her rich husband would not allow her to work or serve God. She became a permanent house wife, disappeared from church and later entered in to depression. Needless to say, she did not enjoy her marriage.
The question of destiny! This one cannot be over emphasized. As singles, you cannot be involved with a man or woman that has no sense of destiny in God! In these days, and for whatever reason, you should not go into a marriage with someone that will hinder or stop your relationship with God.
There are dream killers and destiny destroyers. When you marry such people, whole destinies can be swallowed up.
I feel like I’ve got a trumpet in my mouth to sound a warning to this generation about emotions and sexuality. You see, God cannot be mocked! Marriage is not what you fall into like a lamb being led to the slaughter because you are in love. Marriage comes with pressures, and those pressures are amplified when you get married to someone with no sense of destiny.
With marriage, dreams can come alive, and dreams can die, literally vapourize until you become a shadow of yourself. With marriage, the heavens can be opened, and with it the heavens can also become iron.
With marriage, you can move to your next level in God and you can be reduced to the level of your partner. With marriage, you can enter into unbelievable rebellion and bite the fingers that fed you, and you can honour those who have contributed to your life positively.
With marriage, you can find your rhyme, come alive with hidden gifts bursting out into manifestation and divine expressions, and gifts can also be wrapped up and buried in the tomb of unbelief and depression.
Why is marriage that powerful? You see it is a covenant.
In the book of Proverbs, the Bible says God’s word will keep you away from evil men and strange women. So, there are evil men and strange women.
There are Delilahs whose mission is to destroy. There are Jezebels whose mission is to use you. There are Samsons who are anointed but are full of lust and will not mind sleeping with you before marriage and then preach next day. There are Herods who don’t see anything in killing infants and will take to abort over and over.
In marriage, destinies are wedged together. Like the dog whose jaws are locked when it bites, there are people you kiss and your jaws are locked. In marriage, blessings and afflictions become intertwined and your issues become his\her issues.
May God guide you as you choose wisely.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will apply discretion in every area of my relationship as God helps me.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I will not be entwined with a destiny-killer in Jesus’ name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY James 4:12 MSG God is in charge of deciding human destiny. Who do you think you are to meddle in the destiny of others?
Thereare couples that are sitting on a keg of powder! As married couples, you are to deliberately work things out in your marriage and with the help of the Holy Spirit.
Here is what the scripture says:
Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. (Philippians 2:12 KJV)
In marriage, you are to work things out. A relationship or courtship does not lead to marriage automatically, you are to work things out in your disposition, attitude and reactions. A marriage does not just succeed; you are to work things out between yourselves.
Now there are some couple combinations that are sure to crack along the way. When you find yourself in these spots, you need to seek help prayerfully and with a lot of wisdom to address the lurking issues. Here are those combinations:
1. Two people who are unbelievers Two people who are unbelievers may love themselves, may be committed to each other, but when the storms of life come, they will fight their battles alone and you know, some of those battles can be very fierce.
They will not have God’s support since they don’t have a relationship with God. They will not have the benefit of son ship and it can be very intense! They need to connect with God!
2. Two people who are believers but refuse to grow The second group of couples are those who may be believers but whose minds are not renewed. The only thing is that they already have a relationship with God, but apart from that, they are still carnal.
They still do their stuffs like unbelievers would do. They still want to have fun in forbidden areas and they still want to explore the perverse, which would often come with dire consequences.
My advice for couples in this group is that they seek help as soon as possible.
3. Two people where one is born again and the other is not Here is another scenario that doesn’t always play out well, except with a lot of patience, prayers and perseverance.
I always advise singles, don’t think of getting married to someone who doesn’t have a relationship with God. It would always be filled with challenges that you might have to fight alone, because you are not agreed on your choice of weapons.
You want to pray, but he or she thinks you are just being fanatical. That can be very disconcerting, to say the least. It is always a good combo when both are agreed and are going in the same direction in terms of belief systems and practices.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will grow in my relationship with my spouse.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 2 Corinthians 6:14 (KJV) Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to be faithful to your partner
Hypocrisy 101 is judging others. Let’s look at the story of Tabitha. Tabitha looked left then right, sure that no one could see her, she scooped two more pieces of meat into her bowl and covered them with some spoons of rice. She smiled to herself, congratulating herself for being so smart.
Later in the day, she found her sister eating more than the usual share of chocolate. She knew her sister had taken them without their parents’ permission.
“I will report you” she told her sister.
That’s hypocrisy 101!
A hypocrite is someone who condemns someone for doing or saying something that they also are doing or have done.
Just like Tabitha who stole meat from the pot and accused her sister for stealing chocolate and even threatened to report her to their parents.
Doesn’t it make you angry at Tabitha? How dare she do that? You would like to call her out this instance and call her a hypocrite!
See what Jesus says about hypocrites
“Why do you notice the little piece of dust that is in your brother’s eye, but you don’t see the big piece of wood that is in your own eye? You say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take that little piece of dust out of your eye.’ Why do you say this? You cannot see that big piece of wood in your own eye! You are a hypocrite! First, take the piece of wood out of your own eye. Then you will see clearly to take the dust out of your brother’s eye. Luke 6:41-42 ICB
When you judge others, you are saying that you are perfect and without any sin.
The bible makes us to understand that no one is without sin. Only God is without sin and that’s bwhy He doesn’t want us to live in sin.
Don’t foolaround with a strange woman! Go and settle with your spouse!
Why go on a regular and consistent lunchtime with someone you are not married to?
Why keep having special moments together with someone apart from your spouse? You will trap yourself like that once your emotions are involved.
Some men will go ahead and say they are strong and they are spiritual.
Well look at verse 26 in King James Version:
For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her. (Proverbs 7:26 KJV)
Beware! You say you are spiritual? Is that why you will go and drop her off at her house and then talk for about two hours everyday while your wife is waiting at home? That is not a wise thing to do! By the time you will gladly give her money and yet refuse to provide for your family at home, she already had you!
Dear Pastor, when you are always with her, in the office, behind close doors, she is your P.A, she is your secretary, she is your organizer, she accompanies you to meetings, and you spend more time with her than you do with your spouse, you enjoy talking with her and she makes you laugh while you think your wife is a bore, I don’t care how spiritual you are or how many visions you see per day, you have just set up yourself for a great fall!
The other time, I had to handle a case of the pastor who was sleeping with his wife’s younger sister regularly, and would still preach on the pulpit against fornication and adultery! The wife would go to work and leave both of them at home.
The man was far-gone, on the expressway to hell, but didn’t know! The younger sister kept saying it was the Pastor forcing him, yet she refused to leave the house! Strange! The man had to be referred to his spiritual father to help restore him.
What are you still doing in that kind of relationship where you keep trampling in the principles of God and then coming up with lame excuses that she was the one?
Take a cue from the last verse:
Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death. (Proverbs 7:27 KJV)
If her house leads to hell and chambers of death, simply quit going there! Disconnect from that sinful relationship! Lobatan! Relationship is by choice, not by force!
Ladies, when somebody is asking you out in a lesbian relationship, it is strange! Run for your life! That is not God’s order!
May God deliver you from the strange woman.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am delivered from the strange woman.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, deliver me from the strange woman.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Soon she has him eating out of her hand, bewitched by her honeyed speech. (Proverbs 7:21 Message)
You can be free from wrong spirits in relationships. Yesterday, I showed you how these spirit works with various examples. Today, I will show you how deliverance comes from the word.
You see there is interplay of money and jeru trip. There is dual operation of the spirits of mammon and perversion. The prostitute gives her body to get money. The man gives his money to get a lady. The student offers her body to get money for school fees. The young man sleeps with older men to get money. The employer sleeps with potential employees to give them job. Young men give their body to older women abroad to get money and citizenship. Guys join gay clubs to get business deals and it goes on and on. The pastor uses the grace of God over his life (or is it disgrace now) to lure innocent souls looking for help!
But the scripture above advises:
Let your character or moral disposition be free from love of money [including greed, avarice, lust, and craving for earthly possessions] and be satisfied with your present [circumstances and with what you have];
You should not allow greed and love for money to determine your character and moral disposition! There is deliverance in God. After getting the money and losing your soul, what then? That is the question, what then!
The rich man acquired and stored up riches and then sat down to enjoy and God said, ‘you are dying tomorrow!’ Lobatan! What then?
So how will I survive? How will I get a job? How will I pay for my school fees? How will I start my business?
The scripture advises futher: Be satisfied with your present circumstances! Then put your trust in God. He is able to meet your needs! Stop every compromise and start all over again!
… be satisfied with your present [circumstances and with what you have]; for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!]
God will not fail you! Don’t reduce yourself to a commercial article tossed from men to men and from bed to bed because of money! Your God is the provider, not any man!
He will not leave you helpless. He will not forsake you. He will not relax His hold on you! Trust him today. Believe Him and believe His word and unleash the blessings of heaven over your life.
For those of you that have kept yourself so far, keep on relying on Him. Refuse to be distracted at the pressures around you!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Lord, I am free from the love of money
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will show you his deliverance
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Heb 13:5 MSG Don’t be obsessed with getting more material things. Be relaxed with what you have. Since God assured us, “I’ll never let you down, never walk off and leave you,”
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Disconnect from all ungodly and sinful associations and influences
As Sandy narrated her present ordeal, she wept profusely because of what she had been through. She was raised in a good home, but she ended up finding herself in unbelievable lifestyle.
It was a lifestyle she once condemned and which she vehemently opposed, but alas, she became a victim of that which she abhorred. It was a lifestyle she hated and yet could not let go.
The more frustrated she became with sleeping around for money, the more the god of money sucked her in.
Her situation was cemented in an intertwining of a sexual life she detested but which offered a financial reward she wanted.
Mr. Andy on the other hand was caught in the thicket of adulterous strings, his money became a weapon in his hands to lure ladies into sexual escapades, he wanted to stop, but the dual influence of the spirit of mammon and the spirit of perversion held him by the jugular! He had not only lied to his faithful wife, he had become a lie, compensating his faithful wife with unfaithfulness!
Lovette and George were engaged and are supposedly the children of God. But they are caught up in habitual immorality, they cry today, only to sin the next day. The whole thing looked like a joke, a cycle of repentance and deliberate disobedience.
Pastor Johnson is called and anointed. But he found himself in a web of self-deception, compromising heavily with people under him that he is meant to lead. He had been bound with a religious spirit, think God must be approving his shameful lifestyle because of the ‘result’ and the anointing he thinks he has. The reality is that he is a dead man walking!
The scenarios could go on and on. Several professed children of God caught up with pornography, masturbation, lesbianism, homosexuality and other sexual perversion!
Hear the word of the Lord today. God is not mad at you neither does he condemn you! But He would not also condone any sin! Is there any reason why He would like you to lose your soul? No! Especially, when the price has been paid of your behalf!
Heb 13:4 AMP Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept undishonored); for God will judge and punish the unchaste [all guilty of sexual vice] and adulterous.
Relationship or marriage ought to be a worthy, precious and great price. It is not a game. It is not an experiment. It is supposed to be held in honor. It is sacred. It is an institution that God himself initiated.
The marriage bed should be undefiled. Don’t dishonour what God has honoured, or there would be consequences! Don’t let the devil tell you that you cannot stop. Don’t let the devil tell you cannot live right. Don’t let the devil tell you everybody is sinning. All those are lies.
Heb 13:5 AMP Let your character or moral disposition be free from love of money [including greed, avarice, lust, and craving for earthly possessions] and be satisfied with your present [circumstances and with what you have]; for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!]
Tomorrow, I will show you the interplay between mammon and perversion.
Don’t miss it.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Lord, I am free from the sport of mammon and perversion.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will supply all your needs
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Heb 13:5 MSG Don’t be obsessed with getting more material things. Be relaxed with what you have. Since God assured us, “I’ll never let you down, never walk off and leave you,”
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Disconnect from all ungodly and sinful associations and influences
This morningour topic is centered around how to stop the operations of the strange woman
Learn to appreciate your spouse
With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him. (Proverbs 7:21 KJV)
I say this to married people all the time; don’t grow weary of each other. I tell wives, don’t be careless in handling your man! Avoid unnecessary quarrels that linger for days. Stop getting hurt over every issue. Work together as a couple. None of you will ever be perfect, but keep improving and keep forgiving each other. That is how to work at your marriage.
Now, ladies, you need to consciously protect your husband from several traps out there! Don’t be careless! Learn to appreciate your husband and praise him!
You need to know that this is the strength of the strange woman! While you are busy fighting and quarreling with your husband everyday over this and that, the strange woman is busy flattering him!
With her much fair speech….with the flattering of her lip!
Look at the Message translation:
Soon she has him eating out of her hand, bewitched by her honeyed speech. (Proverbs 7:21 Message)
I will give you examples: Stop telling your husband, “You are not even handsome again, your belly is protruded, this is not the man I got married to!” Why?
You see, the strange woman will gladly say things like, “This is what I like about you. Your tummy! So rounded like football, O ya, come and lie down, let me rub it for you. That ingrate you have at home doesn’t know what she has!”
When you have been quarreling with your husband, and there has been no communication nor Jeru trips for days, and you know he is neither grounded in the things of God nor spiritual, and you know he is having executive and business meetings in different locations and in hotels, you have just aided the devil in trapping him!
Usually, the next thing that happens is the next verses:
Before you know it, he’s trotting behind her, like a calf led to the butcher shop, Like a stag lured into ambush and then shot with an arrow, Like a bird flying into a net not knowing that its flying life is over (Proverbs 7:22-23 Message)
I give you another example: Don’t tell your husband, “Dear, you have to do something about this your balding head. How old are you that all your hair is fast disappearing? You don’t even look fine again. You look like Papa Ajasco!”
You see the strange woman is ready to rub that head and say things like, “I just like this your head, let me rub cream on it, I just like it shiny!”
The strange woman is ready to tell all the lies, make him feel appreciated until she collects all the money meant for his family!
The concluding verses advises all the men:
So, friends, listen to me, take these words of mine most seriously. Don’t fool around with a woman like that; don’t even stroll through her neighborhood. Countless victims come under her spell; she’s the death of many a poor man. She runs a halfway house to hell, fits you out with a shroud and a coffin (Proverbs 7:24-27 Message).
May God deliver you from the strange woman.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am delivered from the strange woman.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, deliver me from the strange woman.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Soon she has him eating out of her hand, bewitched by her honeyed speech. (Proverbs 7:21 Message)
Judging others – you will receive same! Now let’s quickly read something Jesus said:
Give, and you will receive. You will be given much. It will be poured into your hands—more than you can hold. You will be given so much that it will spill into your lap. The way you give to others is the way God will give to you.” Luke 6:38 ICB This Scripture portrays our topic (Judging others – you will receive same); let’s see how.
Looking at judging others from yesterday, you saw what Jesus said about the topic. Now, this is the continuation of that teaching by Jesus. He said you should give and you will receive just as you have given. What it means is simple: Judging others – you will receive same.
So, you are judging others, but don’t know that some people are judging you as well. Maybe on the assembly ground, you are making fun of people about their clothes, shoes, clothes or something else. There are people behind you making fun of you too. That’s just how it is (Judging others – you will receive same)
As you judge others so shall you be judged (judging others – you will receive same.) This is because no one is perfect. It’s the grace of God that has been at work in your life, that has helped you achieve all that you so far and still at work in your life. So why would you judge or make fun of someone who is not having as good as you are right now?
The last part of the verse says that it’s the way you give that God will give to you. So it is same in this matter too: judging others – you will receive same. If you judge people often without a thought, you will be judged also like that. But if you take some time to think before doing so and not judge, the same will happen to you.
The bottom line is – what you give you will receive! Judging others – you will receive same!
Prayer: Father, I want to receive mercy from you. Help me to show such mercy to others and not judge them. Help me to keep this phrase (“Judging others – you will receive same”) in mind always. Amen
Action plan: Give as much mercy as you want to receive from others, cos judging others – you will receive same!
Are you judging others? There have been times when you have been so quick to judge someone without thinking before you do so. Within seconds you form an opinion of them. But Jesus warns agains the dangers of doing so.
“Don’t judge other people, and you will not be judged. Don’t accuse others of being guilty, and you will not be accused of being guilty. Forgive other people, and you will be forgiven.” Luke 6:37 ICB.
You see one of your classmates with a dirty uniform and quickly you call him or her “dirty”. Well, you might not say it to their face, but in your heart you say it and it shows on your face too. You look disgusted and act snobbishly towards the person. Stop judging others. You don’t know what happened to the person. He could have slipped and fallen down hence the dirty uniform. Or he could have been attacked by a group of bullies who roughened him up.
Are you judging others?
Or you have a classmate who fails terribly at school in exams and tests. Calling her dumb and “empty head” is judging her based on her academic prowess. You don’t know what’s happening at home with her parents. Probably she doesn’t have time to study at home because she helps her mother at their little shop. Unlike you whose parents are not selling anything.
Are you judging others?
The bottom line is this – don’t jump to conclusions about people because you don’t know what happened to them. That’s why Jesus warns that you shouldn’t judge people.
Over the next few days we will look at what Jesus says about judging others. Are you judging others? If yes, it is my prayer that this teachings will help you.
May the Holy Spirit give you a heart that loves instead of judging. Amen
Prayer: Lord, help me to stop judging others. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Action plan: watch your words and thoughts the next time you are quick to judge others.
