Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and do you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
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Yesterday, we considered why love feels heavy. If you missed yesterday’s article, you can read it HERE.
Today, we will take a step further to look at practical things to do when love feels heavy.
1. Don’t fake peace. Be honest with God.
You don’t have to pretend to be okay when you’re not. God already knows how you feel. Share with Him where it hurts and what’s wearing you out. There’s no healing in pretending.
2. Pause, don’t panic.
Feeling pressure doesn’t always mean there’s something wrong with your relationship. Take a moment to reflect. What’s really bothering you? Is it something they did? An unresolved issue within yourself? Or maybe it’s the fear of losing control? Slow down and pinpoint what’s really going on before you misinterpret it.
3. Anchor your peace in God, not the relationship.
You love them, but they aren’t your source of happiness. If your mood hinges on how they treat you, you’ll always feel unstable. You weren’t designed to base your emotional balance on another person. Only God can carry that weight.
4. Ask God for wisdom before you act.
Not knowing what to say or do next is perfectly fine. When you’re confused, take it to God. Ask Him, “Lord, what’s the right thing to do here? Help me respond rather than react.” He promised to provide wisdom to those who seek it (James 1:5). Lean on that promise.
Conclusion
The pressure you’re feeling right now doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed or that you’re messing it all up. It might just mean that you’re being refined and that God is teaching you how to love better. You could very well be growing out of emotional immaturity. You’re learning to stay grounded even when your partner isn’t perfect.
So you might feel pressed, but you’re not crushed. Because God isn’t just watching your relationship; He’s in it with you. Supporting you, guiding you, helping you grow, and loving you first so that you can love well.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and do you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
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There are days when love feels like a lot to handle. Not because your feelings have changed, but because you’re tired. You’re putting in the effort, showing up, trying to communicate, praying, overthinking, making adjustments, and still, there’s this tension. Something feels off, and you can feel it.
This part is not often talked about. When you’re trying to love someone the right way, it stretches you thin. It’s not about a big disagreement or some obvious issue; it’s the emotional toll of striving to be consistent, patient, forgiving, and open all at once. It can start to feel overwhelming.
That’s why this scripture resonates with me so well, it says;
“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair.” — 2 Corinthians 4:8 (NIV)
Paul wasn’t necessarily addressing relationships here, but this verse really speaks to them. Love can sometimes feel like a heavy load. When you love someone, especially in a way that reflects God’s heart, it will expand what you can handle. And every now and then, it makes you wonder what’s really going on.
So Why Does It Feel This Heavy?
Here are three reasons love feels heavy, even when it’s genuine:
1. God uses love to grow you.
It sounds good in theory, but in real life, it means you’re going to be stretched. To love someone well, you need patience, self-control, humility, and forgiveness, and those qualities don’t just appear out of the blue. They develop through struggles. True love will expose parts of you that might still be selfish, reactive, insecure, or scared. That’s not a failure but a sign of growth.
2. You’re carrying more than just the present.
Often, the pressure isn’t solely about what’s going on right now. It can stir up past experiences. Maybe it’s a fear of being hurt again or a response to something traumatic. Perhaps your need for control is rearing its head. So, the pressure isn’t just emotional, it’s layered.
3. You’re trying to love from your own strength.
We tend to do this more than we realize. When you try to love without refreshing your spirit through God, you often end up feeling drained. What starts as effort can morph into resentment. Care becomes anxiety, and soon your relationship feels more like a burden than a joy.
Tomorrow, I will tell you what to do when love feels heavy. Don’t miss it.
How Integrity Can Change Your Relationship and Marriage
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader who lives in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
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How Integrity can change your relationship and marriage
In simple terms, integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching. When both people practice it, love grows in a safe and trustworthy environment..
1. Trust Becomes Solid
Integrity means you say what you mean and mean what you say. When your words and actions match, your partner knows they can trust you. Trust is like the foundation of a house—without it, everything wobbles.
2. You Become Safe for Each Other
When you keep your promises and stay truthful, your spouse or partner feels safe with you. They know you won’t betray their confidence or play games with their emotions
3. It Reduces Unnecessary Fights
Most arguments in relationships come from misunderstandings, half-truths, or broken promises. Integrity clears that out. When you are honest, there’s less drama and less suspicion.
4. Respect Grows Naturally
Integrity commands respect. When your partner sees you living out what you say—whether in finances, friendships, or commitments—they naturally respect you more.
5. It Sets a Standard
Living with integrity sets the tone for the relationship. It inspires your partner to also be truthful and upright, making your relationship stronger and more stable.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader who lives in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
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To my future wife, whoever and wherever you are—this letter is for you. Though we may not yet know each other, I want to speak honestly about the journey ahead of us. Marriage is a sacred covenant, not just between two people but also with God (Malachi 2:14). It requires preparation, humility, and intentionality from both sides. So before our paths cross or our vows unite us, let me ask: Are you really ready for me?
1. Are You Ready to Partner in Purpose?
Marriage isn’t just about romance—it’s about partnership. Amos 3:3 asks, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Before we can walk side by side, we must first agree on the direction we’re heading. Are you pursuing God’s purpose for your life? Do you understand that marriage amplifies ministry, calling us to serve Him together as one? If we’re both aligned with His will, our union won’t just be a relationship—it’ll be a mission field.
2. Are You Ready to Embrace Imperfection?
Let’s get real—I’m far from perfect. Neither of us will enter this marriage without flaws, struggles, or areas where growth is needed. Ephesians 4:2 calls us to bear with one another in love, “being completely humble and gentle.” Can you embrace my imperfections while challenging me to become better? Likewise, am I willing to do the same for you? Love isn’t blind; it sees clearly yet chooses to stay committed through grace and forgiveness.
3. Are You Ready to Communicate Openly?
Healthy communication is the backbone of any strong marriage. James 1:19 reminds us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. Are you ready to share your heart vulnerably, even when it feels uncomfortable? Will you extend patience when misunderstandings arise? Honest dialogue fosters trust, intimacy, and unity—the pillars of a thriving relationship.
4. Are You Ready to Prioritize God Above All Else?
Our marriage won’t succeed if it’s built solely on feelings or convenience—it must be rooted in God. Matthew 6:33 tells us to seek first His kingdom, and everything else will fall into place. As much as I long to love and cherish you, nothing should come before my relationship with Christ—and the same must be true for you. When God is at the center, our love becomes unshakeable because it’s anchored in eternity.
5. Are You Ready to Fight Together?
Marriage isn’t always easy; there will be seasons of joy and seasons of struggle. But here’s the truth: We won’t fight against each other—we’ll fight for each other. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” With God binding us together, we’ll face challenges as a team. Are you prepared to stand firm, pray fervently, and never give up—even when the road gets tough?
Final Thought:
My dearest future wife, I write these words not to intimidate but to inspire. Marriage is a beautiful journey, but it demands readiness—from both of us. As you prepare your heart for this lifelong commitment, remember that love is more than a feeling; it’s a choice, a sacrifice, and a reflection of God’s unwavering devotion to us.
If you’re reading this, take courage. Whether we meet tomorrow or years from now, I trust that God is preparing you just as He’s preparing me. Let’s commit to seeking Him above all else, knowing that He will guide our steps toward each other in His perfect timing. Until then, keep growing, keep praying, and keep believing—for the best is yet to come.
When Love Gets Tired: Understanding Emotional Fatigue in Relationships
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register on this link – https://kissesandhuggs.com/conv2025
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If you think love is always butterflies, then I’m sorry to let you know that it isn’t. Love is not always butterflies and long phone calls. Sometimes, love gets tired. Yes, it happens!
Love does get tired. Not tired of loving, but tired of carrying too much weight emotionally.
As a single, maybe you have poured your heart into someone who barely gave anything back. You’re always the one texting first, checking in, holding the conversation—and now you feel drained. That’s emotional fatigue. It’s your heart telling you: “This isn’t balanced” (or “e no balance!”)
My dear, it’s okay to step back. Real love shouldn’t feel like a performance where you always have to audition to be chosen. You deserve a relationship where the effort is mutual, not one-sided.
As married couples, emotional fatigue mostly creeps in silently. The busy routines, the endless responsibilities, the unspoken hurts—they simply just pile up. And before you know it, one day, one or both of you will feel like you’re running on empty.
What can you do?
1. Check in emotionally: Don’t just ask “How was your day?”—ask “How are you, really?”
2. Share the load: If one person is always giving and the other always taking, someone will burn out.
3. Create space to breathe: Sometimes, a short walk together or a quiet evening without screens can do a lot more for your marriage than a vacation.
4. Speak up early: Don’t wait till you explode. Learn to say, “I’m feeling overwhelmed” instead of pretending you’re okay.
Emotional fatigue is real, but it’s not the end. It’s a signal—an invitation to pause, recalibrate, and refill your emotional tank.
Yeah, even love needs rest. And when you honour that, your relationship becomes not just a place to give love, but to receive it too.
Cheers!
To healthy and fulfilling relationships and marriages.
I declare over you today:
You will marry well in the name of Jesus!
May the remaining part of this year bring you pleasant surprises in the name of Jesus!
That which has stood against you works for you now in the name of Jesus!
The Silent Struggle in Relationships and Marriages
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and do you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
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Dianna struggled deeply with masturbation. She was new in her faith, and it all started when a guy made her feel wanted through flirty chats and sexual conversations. He spoke to her in ways that made her feel special, then convinced her to explore her own body. Before she knew it, self-pleasure had become a habit.
Eventually, guilt overwhelmed her. She said:
“I feel so condemned… like God is angry with me.”
Maybe you’ve felt the same, whether you’re single or married. But here’s the truth: God is not waiting to punish you. He’s waiting to restore you.
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”Romans 8:1 (NIV)
God doesn’t hold your sin over your head when you come to Him with honesty.
“Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.”Hebrews 10:17 (NIV)
So… Is Masturbation Really a Big Deal?
In today’s world, it’s often seen as completely normal. “Everyone does it,” they say. Teens, singles, and even married people use it as an emotional or physical escape.
But the real question is: Is it helpful or holy for someone who wants to follow Jesus?
Sex was created by God for intimacy and unity in marriage. When we take it outside that purpose, whether with another person or by ourselves, we often end up with lust, shame, and distance from God.
Masturbation feeds the flesh but leaves the spirit starved.
“Dear friends, I urge you… to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul.”1 Peter 2:11 (NIV)
This isn’t about shame. It’s about spiritual health and freedom.
So Why Do We Do It?
Sometimes it’s boredom. Sometimes loneliness. Sometimes, emotional pain. In some marriages, it might come from unmet needs or a lack of connection.
Whatever the reason, here’s a better question: What’s feeding the desire?
Porn? Romance novels? Late-night scrolling? Who are your influences? Friends? Online content? Even a spouse can sometimes encourage unhealthy habits.
“Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.”1 Corinthians 15:33 (NIV):
So, How Do We Break Free?
Start with Jesus. Not in fear, but in honesty.
“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you.”Ezekiel 36:26 (NIV)
That’s a promise. And He means it.
Fill your time with scriptures, prayers, worship, community, and accountability.
And yes, cut off triggers. Don’t keep the door open to things that keep you trapped.
Also—talk to someone. A mentor, a spiritual leader, someone mature in faith. Healing begins when we bring things into the light.
You Can Be Free
Don’t believe the lie that you’ll always struggle with this. You won’t. The power of Jesus is greater than your habits.
You are not alone. You are not too far gone. And you can live free.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
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Loving Someone Who Isn’t Ready Yet
There’s a special kind of ache that comes from loving someone who isn’t ready. You see the potential, the prayers you’ve prayed seem to be forming in them but they’re not quite there yet. You’re emotionally invested, but spiritually torn. And so, you wait. Now, the real question is: did God ask you to wait?
Many times, we romanticize waiting. We tell ourselves we’re being patient, loyal, and long-suffering. Meanwhile, love without wisdom is an idol, and you may unknowingly be putting yourself in the place of God. If they’re not ready for commitment, consistency, or growth, then you need to call yourself back. If you keep hoping they will change, you have to ask: Is this faith or fear of letting go?
God’s kind of waiting always brings peace, not anxiety. He doesn’t keep us in emotional limbo. When God says “wait,” it comes with assurance, clarity, and purpose, not confusion or heartbreak. “For God is not the author of confusion but of peace…” (1 Corinthians 14:33).
It’s okay to love someone or something deeply and still choose obedience. God will never ask you to lose yourself while trying to prove your love to someone else. If they are not ready, that’s it. No amount of waiting can make them become who only God can shape them to be.
Sometimes, the most powerful display of love is letting go and trusting that if it’s God’s will, He’ll bring it back matured, whole, and aligned. Until then, choose your peace, clarity, and God’s timing over emotional desperation. “He has made everything beautiful in its time…” (Ecclesiastes 3:11).
Here are five steps to detach from someone who isn’t ready yet:
1. Accept the truth
Stop holding on to their potential. You may see glimpses of who they could become, but love must be rooted in reality. God doesn’t call us to wait on maybes. If they’re not showing up with clarity, commitment, or growth, believe what you see, not just what you hope for.
2. Pour your emotions out to God
God can handle your heartbreak. He can bring the tears, confusion, and disappointment to Him without filters. This is where healing begins. “Cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)
3. Create a healthy distance
Love doesn’t mean unlimited access. Guard your heart by setting boundaries emotionally, mentally, and even digitally. Muting, unfollowing, or creating space isn’t cruelty; it’s wisdom. You can’t heal while staying where you’re constantly triggered.
4. Reclaim your identity and purpose
You are not less because someone wasn’t ready for you. You are still chosen, loved, and whole in Christ. So, refocus on who you are and what God has called you to do. Your worth is not tied to their readiness.
5. Surrender the outcome to God
Let go of the emotional control. Trust that if it’s truly God’s will, it will return whole, healed, and aligned. Until then, choose obedience and peace over those pressures.
Dear KHCites, love is a beautiful thing, but it must be mutual, mature, and God-led. If they’re not ready, don’t stay stuck. Trust God with your heart. He knows how to restore, redirect, and reward those who obey even when it hurts.
How to Fight for Your Relationship as a Single Person
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
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Being single doesn’t mean you’re sidelined in the journey of love—it’s an opportunity to prepare, grow, and actively position yourself for the relationship God has designed for you. While society often pressures singles to “wait” passively, Scripture encourages us to take intentional steps toward the future He has promised. Here’s how you can fight for your future relationship while still single.
1. Fight for Your Own Growth
The foundation of any healthy relationship starts with you. Use this season to become the best version of yourself spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Focus on developing qualities like patience, kindness, humility, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). Invest time in personal hobbies, education, or skills that align with your purpose. When you prioritize growth, you not only honor God but also prepare yourself to contribute positively to a future partnership.
Proverbs 4:7 says, “The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom, and whatever you get, get insight.” Wisdom and maturity are gifts you bring into any relationship, so start cultivating them now.
2. Fight Through Prayer and Fasting
One of the most powerful ways to fight for your future relationship is through prayer and fasting. Ask God to prepare both you and your future spouse. Pray for clarity about His timing, protection from unhealthy relationships, and guidance toward the right person. Fasting adds spiritual intensity to your prayers, demonstrating your dependence on God rather than your own efforts.
Matthew 7:7 reminds us, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Trust that God hears your cries and is working behind the scenes to align everything according to His perfect plan.
3. Fight Against Negative Mindsets
Society bombards singles with messages of inadequacy, loneliness, and impatience. Combat these lies by renewing your mind with truth from Scripture. Remind yourself daily that your identity isn’t tied to relationship status—it’s rooted in Christ (Ephesians 2:10). Refuse to settle out of desperation or fear of being alone. Instead, embrace singleness as a gift (1 Corinthians 7:32-35) and use this time to deepen your walk with God.
Philippians 4:8 encourages us to focus on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. Fill your mind with these truths instead of doubt or discouragement.
4. Fight for Healthy Boundaries
Even as a single person, boundaries are essential. They protect your heart and ensure you’re pursuing relationships that honor God. Set clear standards for the type of person you’ll date—for example, someone who shares your faith, values, and commitment to Christ. Avoid compromising just because you feel pressure to be in a relationship.
Proverbs 4:23 advises, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Establishing boundaries demonstrates self-respect and attracts partners who value you appropriately.
5. Fight by Building Strong Friendships
Healthy friendships lay the groundwork for strong romantic relationships. Surround yourself with godly men and women who model Christlike character and can offer wise counsel when needed. Learn how to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts, and show empathy within friendships—skills that will serve you well in marriage.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 highlights the importance of community: “Two are better than one… If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” Cultivate meaningful connections that reflect God’s love and prepare you for partnership.
Fighting for your relationship as a single person means trusting God’s timing while actively preparing yourself for the blessing He has in store. It’s not about sitting idly by but engaging in the process of becoming ready—spiritually, emotionally, and relationally.
Remember, Psalm 37:4 promises, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” As you focus on growing closer to God and living purposefully, He will align your life with His plans, including the right relationship at the right time. So keep fighting—not out of desperation, but out of faith. Your future begins today.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and do you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
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You know how it feels to think, “This time is different,” only to have it turn out exactly like the last time? Different person, same cycle. You begin with optimism. They look promising. They make the appropriate statements. However, the warning signs appear later on. You feel drained and confused. You begin to wonder once more, asking yourself why you keep ending up here.
Now let’s be honest. It is not that you do not know better. It is not that you are desperate. But if you look closely, you will probably notice a pattern. You keep falling for people who do not choose you the way you deserve to be chosen. People who take from you more than they give. People who feel good in the moment but never bring you peace. And when it keeps happening, you wonder if the problem is you.
Sometimes, it is not that you want the wrong thing. Something deep inside you still responds to what is familiar, not what is healthy. For example, if you grew up never feeling emotionally safe, chaos might feel normal to you. If you never felt seen or affirmed, attention from anyone—even the wrong one—feels like love. And without knowing it, your wounds start picking for you. You are not choosing from a place of wholeness; you are choosing from a place of lack.
Breaking the Pattern in Relationships
There are also spiritual parts to this. Sometimes, the reason the same kind of hurt keeps coming back is because there are still doors open. It might be a soul tie, even if the relationship was not sexual. You gave someone access to your heart, and they still have influence over how you see love. Or maybe you made a quiet vow in your heart after being hurt—something like, “I will never need anybody” or “Love never stays”—and now you unknowingly live from that place. Those things do not just go away on their own. You have to bring them to God and let Him break them off your life.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” – Proverbs 4:23
Now, here is what to do. First, slow down and ask the hard question: “What in me keeps being drawn to what keeps breaking me?” That question is not about shame—it is about self-awareness. Until you understand the root of your patterns, you will keep blaming the people, but never actually heal. Second, you need to take back your heart from past connections. You do not need a special service or anointing for this. Just sit with God and say it clearly: “God, I give back to you every part of my heart that I gave away. I break every emotional and spiritual tie in Jesus’ name.” Say it even if you do not feel different yet. Freedom starts with obedience, not feelings.
Also, maybe it is time to quit relationships or stop dating while you are still starving for love. A starving heart cannot choose well. Everything looks like a meal when you are hungry. Take time to be with God. Let Him retrain your heart. Learn to recognize what peace feels like. Learn to recognize what healthy love looks like. Just because someone gives you butterflies does not mean they are from God. Peace is not boring. Peace is safe.
Lastly, be honest about your “type.” If your type keeps breaking you, maybe it is time to let God change your taste. You do not need someone who keeps you on edge. You need someone who keeps you grounded. But until you believe that you deserve more, you will keep accepting less.
This is not about getting it perfect. It is about getting honest. God is not mad at you for how many times this has happened. But He is inviting you to pause, reflect, and let Him heal the reason you keep ending up here. You do not have to keep repeating this cycle. You are not too far gone. You are not too damaged. You can learn a new rhythm. And when your heart is healed, your choices will start to look different, too.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader who lives in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
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In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (KJV)
Whether you’re preparing for love or already walking in it, gratitude can dramatically shift the atmosphere of your relationship. Gratitude is more than a polite “thank you.” It’s a posture of the heart that opens your eyes to the beauty in others, softens your reactions, and builds a deep emotional connection.
1. Gratitude Shifts Your Focus
Instead of dwelling on what your partner (or future partner) isn’t doing, gratitude helps you focus on what they are doing right. For singles, this cultivates contentment and healthy expectations. For couples, it eases tension and increases appreciation.
Phil 4:8 [NIV] Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things
2. Gratitude Silences Complaining
A thankful heart doesn’t murmur. Complaining weakens intimacy. Gratitude builds it. Choose to celebrate small acts—whether it’s a text message, a thoughtful gesture, or simply being present.
James 3:10 – “Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.”
3. Gratitude Invites Joy
Thankfulness releases joy into your relationship. You become easier to be around. When you’re grateful, you’re not bitter, entitled, or always frustrated.
Pro 17:22 [NIV] A cheerful heart is good medicine,but a crushed spirit driesup the bones.
4. Gratitude Softens Conflicts
Arguments lose their fire when gratitude is present. You’ll respond in love instead of anger. For singles, this helps in forming wise, respectful friendships. For couples, it becomes a glue in tough seasons.
Colossians 3:13-14 [NIV]Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
5. Gratitude Honors God in Your Love Life
God is pleased when we recognize His goodness, even in relationships. Whether you’re waiting or already committed, gratitude shows your trust in God’s process and His provision.
Psalm 100:4[NIV] Enter his gates with thanksgivingand his courts with praise;give thanks to him and praise his name.
Questions for reflection:
Am I grateful for the people God has placed in my life?
Do I express appreciation regularly or only see faults?
How would my relationship look if I practiced daily gratitude?
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
5 Types of Lovers Who Are Really Enemies
Not every person who claims to love you has your best interests at heart. Some relationships, though cloaked in affection, can be destructive and toxic. These “lovers” may appear caring on the surface, but their actions reveal a lack of genuine love and respect. Here are five types of lovers who, despite their outward charm, may actually be enemies disguised as partners.
1. The Controlling Lover
A controlling lover seeks to dominate every aspect of your life—your decisions, friendships, finances, and even thoughts. They often justify their behavior as concern or care, but it stems from insecurity or a desire for power. This type of lover disregards your autonomy and diminishes your sense of self-worth. Ephesians 6:12 warns us about spiritual battles, including those fought through manipulation: “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against… the powers of this dark world.” A controlling lover operates out of selfish ambition rather than sacrificial love, making them an adversary to your freedom and growth.
2. The Deceptive Lover
Deception is poison in any relationship, and a deceptive lover thrives on lies, half-truths, and hidden agendas. Whether they’re unfaithful, dishonest about their intentions, or concealing harmful habits, this type of lover erodes trust and creates chaos. Proverbs 12:22 declares, “The Lord detests lying lips, but He delights in people who are trustworthy.” A deceptive lover cannot provide the safety and security that true love requires—they are more focused on protecting themselves than nurturing the relationship.
3. The Selfish Lover
A selfish lover prioritizes their own needs, desires, and comfort above yours. They view the relationship as a means to fulfill their own wants, whether emotional, physical, or material. Instead of serving and sacrificing, they demand and take without reciprocating. Philippians 2:4 reminds us, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” A selfish lover drains rather than enriches your life, leaving you feeling used and undervalued.
4. The Abusive Lover
An abusive lover inflicts harm—whether verbal, emotional, physical, or spiritual—and uses fear and intimidation to maintain control. Their actions reflect cruelty rather than love, violating the biblical mandate to treat one another with gentleness and respect (Ephesians 4:31-32). Abuse is never acceptable, and staying in such a relationship puts your well-being and dignity at risk. Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” Use God’s Word as a guide to recognize abuse and seek help immediately if you find yourself in this situation.
5. The Indifferent Lover
While overtly harmful behaviors like control or abuse are easier to identify, indifference can be equally damaging. An indifferent lover shows little interest in your feelings, dreams, or struggles. They prioritize work, hobbies, or other relationships over you, leaving you feeling neglected and unimportant. Revelation 3:16 describes lukewarmness as something God despises: “Because you are neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.” A truly loving partner invests time and energy into the relationship, while an indifferent lover leaves it to wither away.
Final Thought:
It’s crucial to discern whether someone claiming to love you is genuinely committed to your well-being or merely masquerading as a partner. Relationships should reflect Christlike love—selfless, sacrificial, and uplifting—not manipulation, deceit, or neglect. If you recognize these traits in someone you’re involved with, prayerfully evaluate the relationship and seek godly counsel. Remember, God desires for you to experience love that honors Him and builds you up, not tears you down.
Proverbs 4:23 advises, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Protect yourself from lovers who act as enemies, and trust God to lead you to a relationship rooted in truth, respect, and unconditional love.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
Forgiveness Is Not Amnesia
“Just forgive and forget” sounds great until you’ve been hurt by someone you love. However, it’s important to forgive.
But can we really “forget”? Or what does “forgive and forget” really mean?
Here’s the truth:
Forgiveness is not amnesia. It’s not pretending it didn’t happen. It’s choosing not to weaponise what happened. That’s what “forgive and forget” really means.
Many relationships—friendships, courtships, marriages—break down because one or both parties never learned how to forgive well.
Dear singles, you can’t afford to carry the bitterness of your ex into the world of your future spouse.
You can’t keep your heart locked up and expect intimacy to bloom. Yes, people have hurt you. Lied to you. Played with your heart. But if you don’t forgive well, their offence becomes your prison.
Married couples would have found out, by experience (lol), that forgiveness is not a one-time decision—it’s a daily discipline.
You can’t do life with someone closely and not bump into their weaknesses.
Some days, you’ll need to forgive the tone.
Other days, you’ll need to forgive the forgetfulness.
And sometimes, it’s something deeper.
So here’s what forgiving well looks like—whether in marriage, friendship, or anything in between:
1. You stop replaying the scene to justify your anger.
2. You choose healing over rehearsing.
3. You set boundaries, but not bitterness.
4. You learn to confront with humility, not hostility.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean they were right. It means you’re ready to heal.
It doesn’t always restore the relationship to what it was, but it restores your heart to peace.
You don’t forgive because they deserve it.
You forgive because you deserve freedom.
Relationships only thrive where forgiveness flows freely. Not because we’re perfect, but because we’re learning to love like Jesus.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and do you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
One of the most powerful yet simple acts a couple can engage in is praying together. In a world where marriages are constantly under pressure, prayer becomes a binding force that strengthens not only your relationship with God but also with each other. Prayer invites God into the center of your relationship, aligning your hearts and goals with His will.
The scriptures remind us of the power of agreement in prayer:
Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.”(Matthew 18:19, ESV)
This verse isn’t just about agreement in general, but it speaks specifically to the kind of unity that comes when two people seek God by praying together. When a husband and wife come together before God, they cultivate spiritual intimacy, which naturally spills over into emotional and physical connection.
Many couples underestimate how prayer transforms conflict. When disagreements arise, as they inevitably will, prayer shifts the focus from “who’s right” to “what’s righteous.” It humbles both hearts, encouraging forgiveness and grace.
This is why James said
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.James 5:16 (NIV)
When you pray with your spouse, you are not only fighting for your marriage but also modeling a godly union that your children and others can look up to. You show that your relationship is not based merely on feelings or circumstances but on the unchanging foundation of God’s Word.
A study by the National Association of Marriage Enhancement found that less than 1% of couples who pray together daily end up divorcing. That statistic isn’t magic; it’s the fruit of prioritizing God together. Prayer opens the door to God’s peace, wisdom, and strength, which are all necessary for navigating the ups and downs of life and marriage.
Take a few minutes today to hold your spouse’s hand and talk to God together. You don’t need fancy words, just a sincere heart. Thank Him for each other, lift up your needs, ask for His guidance, and declare His promises over your marriage.
A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NLT)
Let Christ be that third strand in your marriage. When you pray together, you braid your love with God’s power—and that is not easily broken.
This message is for singles, too. Now is the time to build your altar of prayer. Let God shape your heart, your desires, and your expectations. Pray for your future spouse, even if you haven’t met them yet. Ask God to prepare you to be the kind of partner who brings spiritual strength into a marriage. A strong foundation in prayer while you’re single will prepare you to thrive in unity when you’re joined with another.
Some days, love feels like butterflies. Other days, it feels like a sacrifice. If you think godly love is just about how you feel, you’ll walk away the moment the feelings fade.
The truth is, love that lasts is not always powered by emotion; it’s powered by intention.
Feelings come and go. They rise and fall with mood, stress, seasons, and even hormones. But real love, the kind God talks about, is deeper than that. It shows up when it’s hard. It stays when it’s uncomfortable. It chooses even when it doesn’t feel like it.
1 Corinthians 13 doesn’t say love is a feeling. It says love is patient, kind, not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs. Those aren’t emotions. They’re decisions. Daily decisions.
You won’t always “feel” in love, and that’s okay. What matters is what you do in those moments. Do you still choose to honor? To forgive? To pray for them? To show up? That’s godly love.
You see, culture tells us to follow our hearts. But God says to guard it (Proverbs 4:23). Feelings are unstable in everything, especially in relationships.
Even Jesus didn’t feel like going to the cross. He prayed, “If it be possible, let this cup pass from me” (Matthew 26:39), but love made Him stay. Love made Him choose obedience. That’s what godly love looks like. It’s a decision to honor God even when it’s uncomfortable.
Commitment is the only virtue that will take you further than chemistry, so you won’t always wake up with butterflies. I encourage you to choose love, not just when it feels good, but when it reflects Christ.
Love is multifaceted, and when it’s genuine, it manifests in ways that reflect the heart of God. True love isn’t just about feelings or grand gestures—it’s about consistent, selfless actions that demonstrate care, commitment, and character. Here are five types of lovers who truly embody what it means to love deeply and authentically.
1. The Servant Lover
A servant lover prioritizes the needs of their partner above their own desires. Inspired by Jesus’ example of washing His disciples’ feet (John 13:14-15), this type of lover finds joy in serving and supporting their spouse. Whether it’s cooking a meal, running errands, or simply listening after a long day, they show love through practical acts of kindness. Philippians 2:3-4 captures this mindset perfectly: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves.” A servant lover builds trust and creates a foundation of mutual respect.
2. The Faithful Lover
Faithfulness is the hallmark of a lover who truly loves. This person remains steadfast through life’s ups and downs, refusing to give up when challenges arise. Ecclesiastes 9:9 encourages husbands to enjoy life with their wives “all the days of this meaningless life” because faithfulness honors both God and the covenant of marriage. The faithful lover keeps their promises, resists temptation, and chooses loyalty even when circumstances are tough. Their unwavering commitment becomes a safe haven for their partner.
3. The Encouraging Lover
An encouraging lover sees the best in their partner and actively affirms their strengths, dreams, and potential. They understand the power of words to build up or tear down (Proverbs 18:21) and use their speech to inspire confidence and hope. When struggles arise, they remind their spouse of God’s faithfulness and encourage them not to lose heart. Hebrews 10:24-25 says, “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” An encouraging lover empowers their partner to grow spiritually, emotionally, and relationally.
4. The Sacrificial Lover
True love involves sacrifice—a willingness to lay down personal comfort, time, or preferences for the sake of the other. Ephesians 5:25 calls husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church—by giving Himself up for her. But sacrificial love isn’t limited to husbands; anyone can embody this principle. A sacrificial lover puts aside selfishness, forgives readily, and invests deeply in their partner’s well-being. Their love reflects the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus, who gave everything for us.
5. The Praying Lover
A praying lover understands the spiritual dimension of love and consistently seeks God on behalf of their relationship. They recognize that human effort alone cannot sustain a marriage or partnership—it requires divine intervention. James 5:16 reminds us, “The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” By praying together and individually, the praying lover invites God into every aspect of their union. They intercede during trials, thank God for blessings, and ask for wisdom to navigate challenges. This kind of love is rooted in dependence on God and strengthens the bond between partners.
These five types of lovers—servant, faithful, encouraging, sacrificial, and praying—are united by their commitment to loving well. Each one reflects a facet of God’s unconditional love for us, reminding us that true love is less about romance and more about action.
If you want to be a lover who truly loves, consider which of these qualities you can cultivate further in your relationships. Whether you’re married, dating, or preparing for future relationships, strive to model Christlike love in all you do. After all, love is not just something we feel—it’s something we live out daily, leaving an eternal impact on those around us.
As 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 beautifully describes, love is patient, kind, enduring, and hopeful. May you embrace these qualities and become the kind of lover who reflects God’s heart to the world.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV) reminds us that love is patient, kind, and never gives up. Love isn’t a one-time vow—it’s a daily decision. Small acts of kindness, honest conversations, and thoughtful gestures are the bricks that build a lasting relationship.
2. Stay Rooted in God, Not Your Feelings
Feelings can fluctuate, but God’s Word is constant. John 15:5 (NIV) says, “Apart from me you can do nothing.” When the love feels weak, plug into the source—God. Let His love fill you up so you can love your spouse or partner from a place of strength.
3. Choose Grace Over Grudge
No relationship thrives without forgiveness. Ephesians 4:32 (NLT) says, “Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Let go of offenses quickly. Don’t let small wounds become wide gaps.
4. Remember Why You Started
When you’re tempted to give up, recall the joy, hope, and purpose that brought you together. Revelation 2:4-5 (NIV) encourages us to return to our “first love.” Revisit old memories, shared goals, and spiritual unity that sparked the relationship.
5. Keep Investing Even When It’s Hard
Love requires continual sowing. Effort, time, prayer, and intentionality are seeds. Proverbs 24:3 (NLT) says, “A house is built by wisdom and becomes strong through good sense.” Relationships grow when you keep watering the garden—even during dry seasons.
Galatians 6:9 (NLT) — “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.
Don’t abandon what God has called you to build. You are not alone—He’s with you every step of the way. Keep loving, keep showing up, keep building. The harvest of a beautiful, enduring relationship is worth it.
Disappointment has a way of lingering. Sometimes you can feel it right there, heavy and obvious. Other times, it just quietly follows you around, sitting somewhere in your chest, showing up how you hesitate, second-guess, and hold back. And when it is time to trust again, whether it is God, someone else, or even yourself, it can feel like you are being asked to jump with your eyes closed.
You might not feel angry anymore. Maybe you’re just careful, a little guarded. You’ve learned to keep moving forward on the outside, but deep down, the weight of what hurt you is still there. It’s not bitterness, it’s just being careful.
And here’s what matters: God gets it.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18 (NIV)
He isn’t rushing you. He isn’t frustrated with you for being slow to trust. God isn’t standing far off, waiting for you to “get over it.” Psalm 34:18 reminds us that God draws close to us when we’re hurting. He sees the part of you that still aches, still wonders, still hopes, yet is afraid to hope all the way.
So, how do you even begin to trust again? It doesn’t happen all at once; it’s not by pretending that you are fine or by ignoring what happened. It starts by letting God into those broken places, and letting Him show you that He is still steady even when life isn’t.
1. Be honest with God.
Tell Him the whole truth not just what sounds good. Be real about how it changed you, about what you still don’t understand. Trust actually starts with honesty, and God is the safest place for it.
2. Separate God from what happened.
Disappointment can make us wonder if God let us down, or if we can even trust ourselves anymore. But sometimes, things just don’t work out, and it’s not a sign that God failed. He’s still trustworthy, even when the outcome is not what you wanted.
3. Let trust be something you practice.
It doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing. Sometimes, trust is just making small choices—praying again, hoping again, showing up, even if you’re still a little scared. Trust grows slowly, with repetition.
4. Remember that healing and answers don’t always show up together.
You may not get all the answers you want, but you can still find peace. Sometimes healing is found in letting go of what you can’t figure out, and letting God carry that weight for you.
If you’re still carrying disappointment, remember this:
You are not too broken to trust again.
Being hurt doesn’t mean you’re weak; it means you’re human.
God is still with you.
You can trust again, slowly, fully, deeply, because your safety is in Him, not in any outcome.
It’s not titles, talent, or even how committed a church worker one is.
There are things that make relationships work, and one of them is emotional maturity.
You can’t build a healthy love life with someone who looks and sounds spiritually deep but emotionally shallow.
Someone who prays in tongues but pouts when corrected.
Or fasts for 21 days, but gives you the silent treatment for 21 days when upset.
Our journey with God ought to influence our walk on the earth!
Emotional maturity is being able to feel deeply without falling apart.
It’s the ability to hear hard truths without turning them into a war.
It’s saying, “I was wrong. I’m sorry,” without needing a three-day warm-up.
Singles, emotional maturity should be high on your list.
Don’t just ask if they are financially stable— ask if they know how to handle anger. If not, you will “chop” money and also “chop” slaps. You will eat spaghetti bolognese and also eat the silent treatment bolognese.
Find out.
Do they apologise or always shift the blame?
Do they shut down when corrected, or do they grow from it?
You’re not marrying their talent or their looks — you’re marrying their emotional patterns.
Married couples, it’s time to grow up emotionally.
Love isn’t just “feeling butterflies” — it’s being emotionally responsible.
Here are some ways to be emotionally mature:
1. Pause before reacting. Just because you’re upset doesn’t mean you should unleash it.
2. Stop keeping score. If you forgive it, don’t resurrect it with every argument.
3. Don’t use emotion to manipulate. Tears are not tools. Silence is not a weapon.
4. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Don’t say “I’m fine” when you’re clearly not — that’s not maturity, that’s avoidance.
Emotional maturity doesn’t mean you never feel pain. It means you know how to handle it without destroying people in the process.
Let’s grow. Let’s mature. Let’s build love that doesn’t just feel good, but actually works.
These days, I’ve noticed that many young people struggle to be thankful. A lot of people are upset, tired, and always complaining.
I get it. There are so many reasons to feel frustrated or even sad, especially if you live where I am. But there is something important that never changes:
God will always be God. Nothing will ever change that. You can be angry, ignore Him, or even say you don’t believe in Him, but He is still God and will always be God forever.
So the wisest thing you can do is to stay close to the One who made the world, the One who created you, and who knows everything from start to finish.
But knowing about God isn’t enough. Almost everyone believes there is a God somewhere. What matters is truly trusting that He knows what He’s doing with your life.
No one understands you better than God—not even you. Some people might say this sounds like preaching. Maybe it does. But the truth is, if you want your life to have real meaning, you must have a personal connection with God.
The devil doesn’t have real joy to offer. Money or things can make you happy only for a short time. Even marriage or dating can become disappointing if God isn’t part of it.
So why am I saying this? Because I want to encourage you as a single person: always be thankful. If you’re still unmarried at 35 or 40, it doesn’t mean God has forgotten you. He’s not some delivery service that gives you everything you want right when you ask. You were created for His purpose.
You are worthy, O Lord our God, to receive glory and honor and power. For you created all things, and they exist because you created what you pleased.Revelation 4:11 (NLT)
You keep asking God for things, but have you stopped to ask what He wants from you? You dream about loving your future husband or wife. Well, you should first learn how to build that kind of loving relationship with God. My pastor used to say the most romantic people are those who spend time in the book of Romans. It sounds funny, but it’s true.
For in him we live and move and exist.Acts 17:28 (NLT)
Don’t let ingratitude steal tomorrow’s joy. Focus on what really matters. Stay close to the Holy Spirit.Remember, God doesn’t owe you anything, so let’s not act like He does.
You started the relationship with joy. The butterflies were flying, prayers were loud, and everything felt like a dream come true.
But slowly, your devotion to God started fading. Your prayer life grew cold. The fire you once had started burning low, all because of love.
Get on the seat and let’s gist. Look, it’s easy to get so caught up in someone that you forget the One who gave them to you.
Dating was never supposed to pull you away from God; it’s supposed to pull you both closer to Him. Any relationship that weakens your spiritual life is not a blessing; it’s a distraction.
Romans 12:11 says, “Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.” That means even while dating, your fire should still be burning. Your altar should still be alive.
If your relationship is costing you your connection with God, it’s too expensive. Love shouldn’t make you skip devotionals. It shouldn’t make you hide. It shouldn’t silence your convictions. True love doesn’t compete with God.
Don’t fall for the lie that says, “It’s just a season” or “It will get better.” Many have carried spiritual dryness into marriage because they never checked it during dating.
Pray together, yes. Also, pray alone.
Talk about your future, yes. Also, grow in your personal walk.
Love them deeply, but love God deeper.
You don’t have to choose between love and fire. You can have both when the relationship is built on the right foundation.
So, if you feel your fire slipping;
Pause
Reconnect
Return to your first love.
No matter how amazing they are, only God can satisfy your soul. You’re not just dating for fun, you’re dating for purpose, and purpose starts with staying connected to the One who holds it all together.
