I have often been asked why guys often delay in marriage. From ladies’ expectations towards court marriage, church marriage, or traditional marriage, there have been so many disappointments and sudden cancellations.
Oftentimes, people enter relationships without marriage counseling of any form. These days, there are many good and godly marriage therapists especially in form of online marriage counseling.
The single, as well as the married, are supposed to take advantage of all these in order to ensure that mistakes are avoided.
Here are some reasons why men often delay or develop a sore foot when it comes to getting married.
1. They are actually not ready Most of the time, the guys are not ready. So when you start talking about marriage, they hear you with one side of the ear and allow it to escape through the other.
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They will usually ask you to wait or even get angry when you bring up the subject. Don’t waste your time trying to beg him, he is simply not ready. If you successfully push him into marriage, he would complain for a long time at any slight pressure.
2. They are scared of responsibilities Another reason is that an average man is just scared of the responsibilities involved especially if he has gone through the trauma of being raised in a broken home or by a divorcee.
It all has a way of influencing his perspectives on marriage. Only God’s word can bring renewal of mind and a balanced outlook to what marriage really is.
3. They are not ready to raise a family They may just not be ready to raise a family. In his mind, someone is still raising him as far as he is concerned. He is still Mummy’s boy.
If you marry a mummy’s boy, the mummy will rule your home, in reality, or by proxy.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will marry rightly. I will not meet with men who will delay me.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, deliver me from men who want to delay me.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 30:21 [KJV] And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.
In marriage, our intentions don’t count as much as our actions. So verbalizing our affection to our spouse is very important. Learn To Verbalize Your Love To Your Spouse
It does something to the wife hearing from her husband that she is the best cook in the world. Honestly, she will want to live to the expectation of her husband and the name he has called her.
Of course, what is good for the goose is also good for the gander. Husbands also respond to words spoken to them by their wives. If you call your husband unromantic, you are right because the little ingenuity he has will be lost and he will be very unromantic. Call your husband romantic, and I believe he will go out of his way to see to it that he is more romantic. All in all, we all respond to words whether negatively or positively.
There is a king and a beast inside every husband. It is the one you call that will come forth. As wives, we should always try to call and address the one that makes you happier. Some wives address the beast and their husbands behave like one.
Also, inside every wife is wisdom, folly, a queen, virtues as well as a beast. Address the one you want. Not just occasional but learn to do it always. If you want the queen, then address her gently and with sweetness. You will see her behavior change.
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This is a principle in marriage that I believe God wants us to practice.
In Genesis, where the first marriage existed, we saw Adam using the same principle.
And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Gen 2:23-24
In verse 23, God was the one that took a rib from Adam and made a woman, but it was Adam that spoke up and called the woman bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.
He called her my intimate friend, the one that is like me, the one who meets all my needs perfectly like no one else would. As a result of his confession, the cleaving process was now possible and then they could become one flesh.
The principle is very simple but it requires our commitment.
Say good things that you want to see and believe God has put inside your spouse and you will begin to see your spouse manifest such.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I speak positive words to my spouse.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY God teach me how to love my spouse with all my heart
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gen 2:23 [TLB] “This is it!” Adam exclaimed. “She is part of my own bone and flesh! Her name is ‘woman’ because she was taken out of a man.”
While studying the Bible, you can decide to study female Bible characters. The Bible records stories of them. There were the good and bad ones.
Apart from giving birth to children and keeping the home, they also played key roles in many important situations.
Read up on them. What did they do? How did they behave back then?
You could study the story of Deborah, a prophetess in the bible. There’s Esther, a Queen that saved her people from genocide. Women also supported the apostles in spreading God’s word.
Check what God says about women, how he spoke to them, what He did to them.
This is a great way to discover God’s purpose for women.
What are his priorities? Would he watch football instead of going to church on a Sunday? Believe me, you don’t need such lukewarmness over your head! The fire in you will die slowly when your faith is constantly belittled, trampled, and disregarded.
It can be frustrating to have to choose a man over God. That kind of relationship or marriage is packaged to fail from its very inception.
10. Anger Issues
Finally, does he have anger issues? Everybody gets angry regularly, but there are dangerous levels of anger that is not healthy for a family.
Anger and foolishness walk hand in hand. An angry man would always make foolish decisions.
He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly:..
Pro 14:17a (KJV)
The hotheaded do things they’ll later regret…
Pro 14:17a (MSG)
As a matter of fact, the scriptures advise that you should not fall in love with an angry man. This is because an angry man is very much likely to revert to domestic violence.
Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go
Pro 22:24 (KJV)
What if he has anger issues and he is working on it? Then check for peace. If peace is there, you can proceed.
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However, the Bible minces no word about dealing with angry people. Angry people can murder their spouses. They can wipe out the family and then kill themselves.
I will like to stop here this morning but I am sure you have enough stuff to think on and meditate on.
It is almost a curse when a man pairs up with a wrong set of bones. It would bring pain and agony, in the inner crevices of the bones, in the very marrow.
Adam said this is the bone of my bones…I pray you will find your bones and not another man’s bones!
In Ezekiel 37, something amazing happened.
Eze 37:7 (KJV)So I prophesied as I was commanded: and as I prophesied, there was a noise, and behold a shaking, and the bones came together, bone to his bone.
Bone came to his bone!
I prophesy as I am commanded this morning, bone will come to his bone in your marital pursuit in Jesus name!
Have a blessed day!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will marry rightly. I will ask the right question.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to ask the right question.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 30:21 [KJV] And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Ask for the utterance to ask the right question.
The Bible says husbands enjoy the wife of their youth. This means enjoying yourself while you have strength as a young couple. Don’t be too serious at home and learn to live together as best friends. Don’t allow the pressure of finances, raising children, in-laws, and others to destabilize your togetherness.
Your spring water is for you and you only, not to be passed around among strangers. Bless your fresh-flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man! Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose — don’t ever quit taking delight in her body. Never take her love for granted! Why would you trade enduring intimacies for cheap thrills with a whore? for dalliance with a promiscuous stranger?
Prov 5:17-21 [MSG]
Between the two of you, one person will be more playful. Let the playful one take the initiative and the other follows suit.
The Holy Spirit knows what He’s saying when He says enjoy the wife of your youth. Be deliberate in making each other happy. Do not make others outside your home or marriage happy at the expense of your spouse.
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Read books together and discuss them. Invest in each other.
I pray your marriage will be beautiful and filled with new wine.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse and we enjoy life together
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord help us to enjoy ourselves now
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ecc 9:9 Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.
Listening is also a way of showing that you care about your parents and their feelings. It’s a way of showing that you honor your parents. It’s hard enough being parents to you and your siblings, juggling work, church, the home and so many other parts of their lives.
One good way to appreciate your parents is by truly listening to them when they are speaking to you. Don’t be too quick to talk back, interrupt, grumble, or be rude to them. When you keep quiet and listen to them, you get to hear what they are saying, and what they want you to do.
Give them room to breathe by just hearing them out. They think they are old-fashioned or country bumpkins. They were once teenagers like you and understand you more than you know or can imagine.
After they finish speaking, then you can speak and tell them what you feel. Every parent loves to hear their children air their views.
Apologize if you have to and mean it. This way, you get to listen and they get to listen to you too. Both parties have a win-win situation.
“My child, guard my sayings; store my commandments with you.”
Prayer: God, please teach me to listen so I can understand what my parents are communicating to me.
Action plan: The next time your parents are talking to you about something you did wrong, listen and don’t argue. Apologize when you should and need to.
Declaration: My children are good listeners. They don’t speak back to me. They are very cooperative.
Are you still following the series? These questions are necessary to ask before you conclude that you’ve met your soul mate.
7. Habits
What are his habits? Be specific and ask directly.
Do you drink?
Do you smoke?
Do you club?
If the answer to the above is in the affirmative, you obviously are not on the same page.
Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark?
2Co 6:14 (MSG)
There is nothing to pray about, there is no need to pray that God would change him for you because nothing can happen until he makes up his mind.
If he says no, he doesn’t do all of these and then you discover later, run for your dear life.
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Run because he has the capacity to be untruthful. Insincerity and adultery are cousins! They hang out together.
If he says, yes, but he would change later after the wedding, he is unlikely to change! Marriage is not a change agent.
Also, be careful of those who want to change because of you, not because they feel it is wrong. They would go back there later!
Also, be careful of people who say you should change them. You cannot change anybody. You are not the Holy Spirit.
8. Sexual Compromise
What is his disposition to sex before marriage?
If he believes there is nothing wrong with it, he is more or less telling you that he would defile you before the wedding day. He is already telling you that he would put pressure.
Nothing is as frustrating as loving a man that doesn’t love God. Nothing is as agonizing as to have given your heart to a man who has not given his heart to God.
To be Continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will marry rightly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to ask the right questions.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 30:21 [KJV] And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.
The ability to enjoy whatever God has given to us despite imperfections is the maturity that takes for happiness in life and marriage. It is in loving our spouse unconditionally that makes marriage beautiful and fulfilling. We all have so many buts, we can choose to or choose not to consider in our spouse.
The Bible says love covers a multitude of sins. It means if we choose to walk in love, we can ignore or better still, hand our spouse’s flaws to God.
This prayer becomes handy; Lord give us the Grace to change the things we can change and the courage to leave the ones we cannot.
When we hand over such things to God, we should know that God is capable of handling them in His own way. Once in God’s hands, we should rest and trust in His love.
What most people do is that they give God and then collect it back. God knows what best to do to change a man. There is no overnight transformation. Even God appreciates the process of gradual change or transformation.
Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God—what is good and is pleasing to him and is perfect.
Rom 12:2 GNB
Am I asking us to keep quiet and suffer in silence? No. Neither am I justifying wrong behaviors or any character flaws or defects. Most of the character flaws we see in marriage were already there as singles. It only became amplified in marriage.
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An irresponsible man had always had those tendencies. It was only fully expressive in marriage.
If we will not focus on the temperamental differences of our spouse, we would have done well.
So far as what we complain about are our differences, fear not. God will always see us through. The opposite will always attract. You found yourself attracted to your spouse and eventually married him/her because he was different from you.
If you are a fast person, you will be attracted to a quiet, easy-going person. A serious person will marry a playful person. It is these same differences that later repels, annoys and, gets us aggravated.
Some couples say, I love my spouse but she talks too much, but she is lazy, but she is careless. I love my spouse but he is aggressive, but he works too much, we can’t even go for vacation….and on and on.
What we should do is appreciate and thank God for the difference. Know that God put the differences there so you can accomplish much in your marriage. Try and let love, understanding, and patience have their full course in your lives.
You have to understand that neither you nor your spouse is correct or wrong, it is just about being wired differently, having different opinions, and seeing things from different viewpoint and perspectives.
So if you are hoping and thinking, ‘I love my spouse, but…’, you have to begin to remove the ‘but’ from your marital dictionary and begin to love your spouse despite their faults. Learn to forgive and forgive fast. Never allow issues to linger for long before seeking to forgive. Don’t allow ego or pride to finish your marriage.
I know a couple whose marriage is fast heading for the rocks. The wife has chosen to believe she is right and is waiting for her husband to come rolling on the floor begging. The husband too is unwilling to bend, saying she is fond of doing that and that he is tired of begging.
The wife has refused to listen to counsel. It is their differences that the devil wants to use to scatter their marriage. We are to walk through our differences allowing God to mature us.
May God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse and my sin covers his/her flaws
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me enjoy the wife of my youth
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 12:2 GNB Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God—what is good and is pleasing to him and is perfect.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study your spouse and learn to accept your differences
Having your Bible is great. I remember my first bible. It was a teenager’s bible with many illustrations, quizzes, puzzles, a place to write my name, favorite verses and bible characters, and a lot more.
Having my own personal bible really fascinated me. I wasn’t going to share reading it with another person and I could read and make notes in the places provided. It was mine.
‘Your word is a lamp to guide me and a light for my path.’ (GNB)
Psa. 119:105
What I enjoyed most about that experience was that God’s words became my own. The feeling that I could pick it up to read and study was the high point of the whole experience. Reading those words felt as if God was Himself talking to me directly.
‘The Almighty God, the Lord, speaks; he calls to the whole earth from east to west.’ (GNB)
Psa. 50:1
As you claim ownership of your things, you should do the same for a bible. Owning a personal bible is a start towards developing a personal relationship with God, knowing His words, and accepting Christ at an early age.
You’ll also know why you need to attend church and the benefits of having friends that are believers like you.
As a child, knowing God’s words helps you to handle the many situations, people, and stages of your childhood. You won’t have to struggle because you can pray and receive answers. Bible verses will be at your fingertips to speak and confess concerning any situation.
‘Then you will know how to behave properly, and your words will show that you have knowledge.’ (GNB)
Prov. 5:2
Do you own a personal bible? Is it according to your age? Ask your parents or guardian(s) for one today. God bless you as you do.
Prayer: Lord, I want to know your words. Help me to cherish, read, and study my bible. Speak to me. Teach me Your words, in Jesus name, Amen.
Action Point: Ask your parents to buy you a bible
Declaration: My children follow what the word says. They are students of the word. They read and understand the bible.
Today, we will continue by looking at more questions.
These questions are not the ultimate deciders, but just to simply guide you on how to engage a prospective lover, and they are better asked before falling head over heels in love.
Once you fall in love, the reasoning capacity to tender questions becomes weak, judgments are beclouded and love shields from reality.
It is even worse when sex is involved, the capacity to ask questions is dead, the mind becomes convoluted, intricately folded into confusion weaves.
This confusion of the soul often works in consonance with soul ties, and it can really make a person take the unwisest decisions ever, only to start regretting later.
Ladies, never proceed into a love adventure without asking questions, for after you have started, the power to ask resets to zero because his pursuit is over, value diminishes and the hunter in him hangs the bow and arrow.
He now owns you!
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Let’s go.
6. Mentors Does he have mentors? Who are his mentors? If he doesn’t have mentors before now, why? Is it more of ignorance on mentoring benefits or defiance and arrogance on needlessness of mentoring?
This has to be sorted. Assuming he never had, is he willing to get one?
In his response being a Yes, is it a quick answer because he quickly wants to get past your questions, or is he genuine in his response?
This is where you need the Holy Spirit to read in-between the lines, to trust God to help you expose any lying and deceptive spirit.
If he says No, he doesn’t need a mentor, then you should know there would be issues. He is not ready to take counsel, he is averse to authority figures over him.
The issue is when he misbehaves, who do you report him to?
Selah!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will marry rightly. I will ask the right questions.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, lead me to the right person for me.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 30:21 [KJV] And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.
One of the foundational ingredients of a successful marriage is being under authority. By authority, I mean good authority because it is possible for someone to be under a negative authority.
It is good when your spouse has someone or people (not too many) that he/she listens to. The importance of this cannot be overemphasized. You should at least have a spiritual authority figure that can speak into your lives as a couple.
When you have questions or you have hot arguments, there must be someone you can run to, someone who loves you enough to correct your wrong and give you the right direction.
This has been the undoing of so many marriages. They have decided to live like an island. There are no custom-made issues in marriage. The problems in marriage are common to all marriages. They may come in a different flavor but basically, they are the same things.
You take the pressure off your marriage when you have someone you can talk to and most importantly, LISTEN to.
The person has to be considered a mentor because he/ she is considered older, more experienced, and more spiritual.
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Your mentors may not be your parents because it has been discovered that parents could be sentimental in their judgments.
You don’t have to learn from experience. Learn by the wisdom of your mentors. There are a lot of things we assume we know, but we do not know as we ought to know.
So many marriages are achieving below their marital potential. They have denied themselves their great destiny potential because they feel they can handle stuff by themselves.
Even Jesus had to grow, had to be subject to his parents, had to be taught, and had teachers.
I remember an issue we had a while ago. It was so knotty, it was as if the devil was ready to throw in confusion and disagreement into our home. Thank God for our mentors, it was not so much of what was said, it was their intercession for us that solved the issue.
So don’t be afraid of sharing your problems. Some think they have not solved their own problems before they are solving other people’s problems. That’s being childish. Is like saying a doctor is not qualified to help the sick because he has malaria himself.
A doctor is graced and anointed with the wisdom and knowledge to help the sick. Of course, if he doesn’t apply the same principles he is giving to the sick to himself, he will be sick and have to use the same medicine he is prescribing to his patient.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am humbled to listen to the counsel of my mentors.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY God give a listening ear and a receiving heart
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 24:6 For by wise counsel thou shalt make thy war: and in multitude of counsellors there is safety.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Register for KHC Camp meeting
What are you teaching your children? To pray and trust? Or to worry and murmur? Daddy and mommy always sighed when there was no food in the house. Jade, their first daughter wasn’t happy either whenever together with her two brothers, they were sent back home because of school fees.
Ever since daddy lost his job, events like these have been frequent. She wished she could help out, but what can a nine-year-old do?
At church, her teacher mentioned that God hears our prayers. She entered her room, shut the door behind her, went on her knees, and began to pray, “Our heavenly father, I know you hear prayers. Daddy and mommy need your help. Please, provide for them.”
“Pray at all times.” (GNB)
I Thess. 5:17
Children, God hears your prayers much the same way He hears your parents. Your father in heaven wants you to pray always for your parents. Your prayers will release God’s blessings on them.
He wants you to pray to Him not only when things are bad, but always. He is a caring and loving God who hears everyone’s prayers and is ready to answer them.
He is waiting to hear your prayer.
“God made our ears – can’t he hear? He made our eyes – can’t he see? “
Psa. 94:9
Prayer: Lord, help me to pray for my parents. Provide for them as they go about providing for me. Be their helper, in Jesus name. Amen.
Action point: Pray to God about that pressing issue.
Declaration: My children are prayerful. They understand the power in their words. God answers them speedily.
You are asking this to know if his plans will accommodate and complement your own.
There are some career combinations that just would not go together. Find out if you are getting married to a sailor that may not be around several months of the year!
If you are very clingy and you cannot bear seeing people around your husband, then don’t marry a Pastor!
“Is there anyone here who, planning to build a new house, doesn’t first sit down and figure the cost so you’ll know if you can complete it?
Luk 14:28 (MSG)
4. Sisters and Mum?
How does he relate with mum and sisters? It is an indication of how he would relate to you!
If you hear him over the phone shouting and screaming at his siblings, well, the handwriting is clear on the wall what you should expect in a few weeks after the wedding.
5. Values
What are his values in life? If he goes like “I am a free thinker. I only attend church when I feel like.”
That shows some value conflict, right?
If your values are at variance, it is an indication that numerous quarrels and disagreements are in the offing.
On a final note, please understand these questions are not to turn you into a questionnaire!
The intent is not to use questions to disregard God’s direction.
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If all your questions are not properly answered and yet you have the peace of God, please proceed, because it is only God that knows tomorrow.
However, in such cases, you have to make sure it is really peace, and not a feeling.
It is important to ask these questions, pray and seek God’s direction before falling in love.
When you have fallen in love, you really would not care about any questions or answers!
I pray that God will grant us more understanding.
You will not miss it in Jesus name!
Ee o ni bo si owo alawin ni oruko Jesu! (You won’t fall in love with the wrong person in Jesus name)
Be Blessed!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will marry rightly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, lead me to the right person for me.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 30:21 [KJV] And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.
We change so many things in life. We change our cloths, shoes, bags, makeup, etc.
We even change our friends, change our cars, change our jobs, change our houses, change our location, change our addresses etc.
The one most important thing we should change is our mind. Our minds are so important. It dictates and affects everything we do.
Inside our minds lies the seat of our emotions, intellect and will.
Our minds are responsible for our thinking which informs our feelings which eventually informs our actions.
That’s the Bible says as a man thinketh in his heart so he is. Pro 23:7
If you don’t gird the loins of your heart or mind as the bible advise in 1 Pet 1: 13, you will allow all manner of junks in your minds.
We cannot allow our minds to be a refuse dump for all manner of thoughts to just fly into.
Assumptions that are not true or are half true.
The devil puts strongholds in our minds to gain control over our minds and our final actions. He gains control over our lives this way. Like you gain control over a dog you put on a chain. You decide where it goes and where it doesn’t.
Strongholds are strong arguments with evidences to back them up. These strongholds are like walls in our minds.
Bible tells us what we should do to these strongholds. It tells us to constantly destroy strongholds.
For the weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood], but they are mighty before God for the overthrow and destruction of strongholds,
1 Cor 10:4-5 AMP
[Inasmuch as we] refute arguments and theories and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God;
and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One)
We destroy strongholds, refute arguments, and lead every thought captive to the obedience of what the bible says.
All these we do by taking charge of our minds and being in control.
As married couples, the devil seeks to throw husbands and wives apart. He seeks to gain control and dictates what we think which is usually wrong. He seeks to destroy the unity and harmony in our marriage.
We should refuse him by not cooperating with him. That’s why we have to change our minds.
In 2Tim 2:16, bible says we should shun profane and vain babblings for they will increase ungodliness.
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In our marriage, we are to shun vain babblings of the devil in our minds through friends, families, our feelings etc. We are to focus on building our marriage and building unity and harmony.
Shun every arguements that have strong evidences. The evidences are so strong you can almost vouch for them.
Anything that is from base on love or that is not based on what bibles we should think on, don’t entertain them in your thoughts against your spouse. Choose to follow the way of love.
For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them].
Phil 4:8 AMP
I pray God will strengthen us to begin to break every negativity in our minds that is standing in our way of being united as couples in Jesus mighty name.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I give priority to meditating on God’s word and so my mind is renewed and transformed.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to always keep my mind on things that are true, pure, just, and gracious.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Philippians 4:18, AMP For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them].
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY What are the wrong notions that you think you have about marriage. Go into God’s word to find out the truth about that situation
Yes, he is asking you out, you have prayed or you are praying, he is looking more like it, what do you do as the lady before ultimately giving your heart to him?
Well, what you do is to ask questions.
In the process of asking questions, you will conclude whether you are with the right person or not.
His responses to the questions would show his depth, his preparedness, his state of heart, how he thinks, and what he would likely do in certain circumstances.
These questions, essentially are not to knock off God’s direction but to affirm that which is in your heart concerning what God is saying.
The responses to the questions would also wake you up in case you are just in some romantic and unrealistic island of love, or you are just simply hung on a crush.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered. Kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals, kindly go HERE
Gird up your loins now like a man; I will demand of you, and you answer Me.
Job 40:7 (AMP)
“I have some more questions for you, and I want straight answers.
Job 40:7 (MSG)
Face me and answer the questions I ask!
Job 40:7 (CEV)
Here are a few questions to ask him after he has asked you out.
1. Why me? Why not another person? What do you see in me that warranted your decision? The response to this question would show whether his intention is genuine or not.
You see, when someone is telling a lie or pretending, it shows in his speech patterns, when he is saying the truth and communicating from his heart, it also shows.
You must not allow the feelings of love to becloud your judgment in picking out loose ends in the responses.
Let him face the panel. lol…
2. Conviction What is his conviction? The response to this question will help you determine the source of the move and the motive of the heart.
Who told him you are the one? How did he really get to know?
This kind of question helps you to know if it is just a playful thing he has in mind or the real deal.
Who wants to be walking up and down the aisle without ever getting to the altar to receive the ring? God forbid.
So, you are nearing thirty, and you really don’t have time for some adolescent fling that will lead nowhere!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will marry rightly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, lead me to the right person for me.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 30:21 [KJV] And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.
It is not just the wife that needs to be schooled on how to respond, husbands also need to know how to respond in a way that is not offensive.
We all come from various backgrounds and as said a number of times, our background usually affects the way we behave, our value and almost every other thing.
Some of us have the bad habit of responding in ways that may boomerang into a negative behavior from our spouse. Example, some give the silence treatment, some respond in anger, some with tears, some by shouting, some by being judgmental, critical, shaming and rejecting their spouse.
It should be noted that it is our response to our spouse’ verbal and non verbal communication that will inform whether the communication will be sustained or not or whether it will turn to an argument.
My husband talks more and plays more than I do. He used to tell me that I give him the silence treatment. I had to be schooled that not only is silence treatment rude, it is so unpleasant. I had to change my behavior.
Change is the only constant thing and we must not be rigid but always willing to change. We change to suit our spouse and our spouse also changes to suit us. That is the work that marriage entails.
We can get away with some of our negative responses based on our spouse temperament. You can’t compare how a Choleric will react to how a Sanguine will react to a negative response.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
For every single issue, event, situation and circumstances there is always a good or bad response. We should always keep in mind that in every situation we should learn to be pleasant and be a Christian at least, lol.
We should allow our responses to reveal the fruits of the spirit within us.
Gal 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Husbands and wives be gentle with each other. Being a man doesnt mean you cannot be gentle.
Let us as wives to willing to suffer long with our husband. When the resources are not enough, let us be found still standing by our husbands. When things get better they will respect us forever,( for men that are sane).
Don’t let our response by that of complaint like Jobs wife
Job 2:9 Then said his wife unto him, Dost thou still retain thine integrity? curse God, and die.
What will inform our good responses all of the time is the help of God. We all need God’s help not to blow it. If we do miss the mark we should not build a tabernacle there. Let’s be quick to ask for forgiveness and learn from our mistake.
Let us understand that our response has the ability to hurt our spouse deeply. Our response matters a lot.
My husband told me how much my response affects him and either gives him the energy to pursue or to give up.
Imagine if Dave Meyer has responded to Joyce Meyers call to Ministry in a non Challant way, how would Joyce be so impactful?
Let’s be careful, lest we be found guilty of being an hinderance to our husbands or wives fulfilling purpose and destiny.
May God help us.
God bless our marriage
Confession of the day I walk in the spirit and not in the flesh, so I respond well to my spouse
Prayer for the day Lord, help me yield to the dictates of the spirit
Thoughts of the day My repose is important to my spouse
Action plan for the day Write down 2 areas you want to change your response to your spouse
Children can study the Bible. We can find the stories of children in the bible. They had their own special place in bible times. God used them in ways that moved His plans and purpose forward.
They were children like you, who also faced some challenges like you could be facing right now.
Studying about them helps you know how these children handled themselves and overcame the struggles they faced.
Look at the story of Samuel, Joseph, little Jesus, and others. How were children treated back then? Who were their parents? What did God say about them? This is how children can study the Bible.
Prayer: Thank you for showing me how You can use me as a child for Your plans and purpose. I bless Your Holy name. Amen
The faith of your lover. His faith is important, mostly because his faith will influence yours.
It is his faith in God that will cause him to have the fear of God. If he has the fear of God, he will never cheat on you.
He would rather protect you and care for you. He would have the wisdom to live with you and raise a godly family because the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.
Never ever get married to a man who has no regard for God. It would be the greatest mistake of the century.
Perhaps, the Holy Spirit is leading me to write on this because someone is out there at the crossroad of a decision. Well, no matter how much you love him, no matter how much preparation you have made, no matter how much has been spent, if he does not have a relationship with God, pick your bags and bolt!
Run for your life. Preserve your destiny with your choice.
Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark? [15] Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands?
2Co 6:14-15 (MSG)
There is no greater partnership than marriage. Destinies are wedged together. Souls become tied together. Afflictions are intertwined and shared. Blessings are shared as well.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered. Kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals, kindly go HERE
In marriage, there is a “knowing” at the highest level as love is consummated. The husband becomes the cover and the head of the family. God forbids that the head is sick, for he would only transfer the sickness. He can only give what he has.
God forbid that the head is foolish, he would only disseminate the foolishness and no more. He would make foolish decisions and it would affect the wife and the children, and sometimes, the children’s children!
The mouth of the foolish poureth out foolishness.
The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.
Pro 15:2 (KJV)
Take a look at the Message Translation:
Knowledge flows like spring water from the wise; fools are leaky faucets, dripping nonsense.
Pro 15:2 (MSG)
May you not have a leaky faucet of a head, dripping nonsense over your destiny!
I tell you, as a counselor, that can be frustrating!
How beautiful is it, to have a praying man over your life, to have a man who is faithful to you, who will never cheat on you, not because he doesn’t feel like it but because he fears God!
Go for a man that fears God. Go for a God-lover! Go for a God-chaser!
It would put your mind at rest. You wouldn’t need to add the unrest, the suspicion, the insecurity, the disagreements, and the bickering that goes with knowing your spouse is cheating on you to your daily pressures.
Go for peace of mind.
Be blessed today and always in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will marry rightly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, lead me to the right person for me.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 30:21 [KJV] And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.
What makes a marriage powerful is not the living together of a man and a woman under the same roof. It is the sacred vows shared on the wedding day.
What makes the vows powerful was that it was said before God.
Many don’t even realize the sacredness of what they were doing exchanging marriage vows. A marriage covenant was enacted the moments those vows were said to each other and more so, God being a witness to the vows.
There is no marriage without an officiating minister conducting the marriage. In fact, the priest has to read the vows for the intending couples. The presence of the priest, representing God and doing the joining, proves that God is involved in the union.
Mal 2:15 [KJV] And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.
Mal2:16 [Amp] For the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I hate divorce and marital separation and him who covers his garment [his wife] with violence. Therefore keep a watch upon your spirit [that it may be controlled by My Spirit], that you deal not treacherously and faithlessly [with your marriage mate].
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
God put a lot of premium on treating your spouse well in marriage. Not only is God against cheating but everything that is an appearance of evil.
Dealing with your spouse treacherously also means not having an understanding of your spouse’s temperament and love language.
God asks us in order to fulfill our marital vows to watch our spirit and let it be controlled by His Spirit. When we are controlled by God’s Spirit, we will not walk in the flesh.
Such things as anger tantrums, silent treatment, criticizing, shaming, conterminous your spouse will not be there. Rather we will look out and fulfill our roles as leaders (for husbands) and helpmates (as wives)
Even God recognizes the fact that it takes Him by His Spirit to help us. The marital journey can never be fulfilled on our own.
Seek God’s help in every area. Whatever is the peculiar need of your spouse, receive Grace to satisfy it. Remember, your spouse will always to the opposite of you.
Some spouses complain my wife/husband like Jeru trip too much, my spouse is too shy, my spouse is too slow, my spouse is tight-fisted, my spouse is careless, my spouse is too spiritual, my spouse likes food too much etc, the list goes on and on
Remember, God has equipped you with whatever your spouse needs, just as whatever will fulfill your own needs he will meet. You have what it takes to satisfy your spouse. Use it well. It could be demanding but do it anyway rejoicing.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will love my spouse rightly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to honor my marriage vows.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mal2:16 [Amp] For the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I hate divorce and marital separation and him who covers his garment [his wife] with violence. Therefore keep a watch upon your spirit [that it may be controlled by My Spirit], that you deal not treacherously and faithlessly [with your marriage mate].
