The Fear and Mercy Of God was taught by Rev. Dunamis Okunowo on the 1st of August 2021 at Shouts of Grace Center, Joke Plaza, Beside Trans Amusement Park, Bodija-UI Road, Ibadan. The first service of the day was on ‘The Fear Of God’ while the second service was on ‘The Mercy of God.’
Some of the points Rev Dunamis made during the first service are as follows:
My son, if thou wilt receive my words, and hide my commandments with thee; So that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom, [and] apply thine heart to understanding; Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, [and] liftest up thy voice for understanding; If thou seekest her as silver, and searchest for her as [for] hid treasures; Then shalt thou understand the fear of the LORD, and find the knowledge of God.
Proverbs 2:1-5 (KJV)
That Scripture talks about several things we are to do in order to be able to understand the fear of God.
Receive
Hide
Incline (set at an angle)
Apply
Cry
Lift up your voice
Seek
Search
It is when you fulfil these parameters that you will come to understand what the fear of God is.
Fearing the LORD is a basic quality every believer must have.
What you do not understand, you cannot do.
The fear of God is awe, reverence… not being frightened or scared or trembling.
What establishes your relevance in heaven is your relationship with God.
During the second service Rev Dunamis talked around The Mercy of God. He made the following points:
You are a product of God’s mercy. You are the one that God has shown mercy.
Rest in God’s mercy. Lean on His mercy.
And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.
Exodus 20:6 (KJV)
But the LORD was with Joseph, and shewed him mercy, and gave him favour in the sight of the keeper of the prison.
Genesis 39:21 (KJV)
The mercy of God sets you apart.
You do not get married by looks, but by the mercies of God.
One of the greatest things God has done for you is mercy.
And Solomon said unto God, Thou hast shewed great mercy unto David my father, and hast made me to reign in his stead.
2 Chronicles 1:8 (KJV)
Mercy has a voice. Inside mercy there is prosperity.
To listen to messages of Rev Dunamis, go HERE or HERE
A point of frustration could be deliberate or not. But if one is faced with the reality of your spouse frustrating you, what do you do?
Well, in this kind of situation, you just have to exercise patience. Have a lot of understanding and don’t react. Reacting will mean retaliating or giving it back to your spouse in the same coin or measure it is given to you.
If the frustration is as a result of some form of sickness or disease, you just have to pray to God for healing and the strength to bear your spouse’s burden.
You may be frustrated because you are not a patient person or because of temperamental differences, background differences or simply male – female differences.
If you are newly wedded, your frustration could be out of misunderstanding of the things you don’t like. Especially if you had a long distance courtship or relationship. The tendency is to want to either retaliate or withdraw from the source of your frustration or pain. Please don’t do this.
In marriage, you and your spouse are a team. United you stand and divided you fall. Know that whatever comes, you are still married and you intend to still remain married.
Let your point of frustration drive you positively to seeking help, change of character and into seeking God. You can start to pray for your spouse every day consciously. Lift your spouse up in prayer and it will be to your account.
When you are also at the point of frustration, don’t keep silent on each other and don’t seek friendship outside of the marriage. Some have done this and regretted their actions. This will only draw a big gap between the two of you. The more you grow apart, the more the gap grows and the more things get difficult.
Just know that marriage requires constant working at it. It requires daily commitment, communication and patience. There are times when all is well and rosy like heaven. There are other times when you just have to keep the flame ablaze and fan the flames.
The bottom line is, don’t give up on your marriage. Don’t make a permanent decision based on a temporary situation. The frustration you are facing is only temporary. That phase will definitely fade away.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not frustrate my spouse. I am patient with him/her.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for grace to be patient with your spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Genesis 2:24, KJV “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Don’t give up on your marriage
We started out discussing this topic yesterday – on the ways we can take care of our parents. We will continue in that light today. Dear child, you have to understand that your parents are the guardians God has appointed over you, here on Earth. They are responsible for you and will give an account of their guardianship over you to God.
Help make their work easy by obeying them. Their actions are meant for your safety – physically, mentally, academically, and spiritually. They are working hard at giving you the life that God wants for you. That is what they are doing! They are not there to do you evil. Your parents do care for you and are making efforts to take care of you
Therefore, do not jeopardize the efforts of your parents and your future by not listening and following their instructions. See what the Bible says in the book of Proverbs:
Prov.4:20 ” my child, listen carefully to everything I say.”
By following the rules and instructions, you will grow into a humble and loving person. These rules and instructions, also, will help you discover, develop, and put to maximum use your God-given talents and potentials.
Your parents were put in your life for a reason – to teach you all about God and why He created you. God didn’t make a mistake by giving you to them.
Prayer: Pray for your parents: Lord, I declare I’m a good child. I make training easy for my parents. I want them to give a good account of me to you, Jesus name. Amen.
Action point: Be conscious of your actions towards your parents.
Declaration: My children are supportive. They love, value, and appreciate every work I do.
She is a “talk” person, not to be muted! This is very crucial and your understanding of this will save you a lot of marital squabbles.
Allowing her to express herself without fear, trepidation, and inhibition is allowing her to be all that God has created her to be. Allowing her to be all that God has created her to be is fulfillment and prosperity for her and for you eventually.
The greatest misfortune that can befall a man is living daily with a frustrated wife. When she is not allowed to express herself, she would begin to internalize. The more she internalizes, the more it can really become dangerous and you will not be happy about that.
It’s been said that an average man speaks about ten thousand words in a day. But an average woman speaks about twenty-five thousand words daily! By the time the husband returns from work, he has probably exhausted his quota of ten thousand words at work, with colleagues, with friends, and over the phone.
By the time the wife comes back from work, she probably would have done about ten thousand words as well. But, you see, she still has about fifteen thousand words bubbling in her entrails that she wants to unleash on her husband, children, and anybody available.
Now, this is the reason all the man wants to do is eat, listen to the news, check emails, have Jeru trip, and sleep! This is also the reason why your wife wants to talk a lot and explain a lot of things that the husband deems unnecessary!
So when a man asks his wife, “how was work today?” Bam! That question will be well answered with every detail of what happened since she drove out in the morning while the husband is wondering, ‘Why did I ask this question. What did I ask, what am I hearing?” You need to understand this need of ladies.
It is also the reason why many husbands doze off while the wife keeps talking. And then she asks, “Are you sleeping already,” and you tell a “holy” lie, “no I am listening, dear!” Now, it becomes even more intense when your wife has not started work or she is a housewife! My God, the words are piling up, day in day out, they are being carried over!
This is why as a man, you should sit down with her and talk to her deliberately. Ever wondered why some ladies would be in a relationship with drivers, cooks, and gardeners, and so on, well the reason is obvious. They need to talk and they talk with whoever gives a listening ear. This is why you also need to avoid strife like a plague in your matrimonial home. If you have not been talking to your spouse for days or weeks, that can be dangerous. You are inflating her vulnerabilities because she will find somebody else to talk to, and God forbids that the allegiance shifts!
But what if she offended me and she is wrong? Well, end the strife first, even when you have to apologize for what you didn’t do, then after that, you can discuss intelligently. Ladies are to note, however, that expression of yourself in your matrimonial home as healthy as it is has boundaries. When you cross the line to the dangerous milieu of “Nagging” it can be very counter-productive!
Talking with your husband is different from nagging him! As singles, if you are being muted already, something is not quite right. If communication is defective, slow down and find out why rather than ignore all the symptoms and rush into marriage only to discover it is a mistake!
Singles, never say to your fiancé/fiancée these two words: “Shut up!”
If a lady “shuts up for you and you think you won, you are joking!” Ever seen molten magma before? That is what it is like when a woman shuts up every time. The day the volcanic eruption comes forth, it can be disastrous. Be wise, keep the communication line open. Stop saying you are busy and that is why you have not called her in one week! What is your phone meant for? When you love a person, you want to talk with that person! Single ladies, there is a difference between courting a guy and courting disaster.
When a guy has not called you once in three months, the truth is that you are not in a relationship. Move on with your life, be happy, develop new friendships, and don’t allow anybody to keep your life suspended.
You should learn to take care of your parents. Yes, your parents! The two people that certainly know how to drive you mad. Adults with a boatload of rules, commands, and restrictions. They tell you to clean your room, wash dishes, sweep floors, don’t watch TV, and then say it’s their house and their rules.
They were never teenagers, right? One day they just ballooned into adults straight from infancy. What do they know about being a teenager? They are not nice, right?
Relax. Your parents love you very much and want the best for you. That’s why they put up all the restrictions and laws. Sure, it drives you nuts, but it still doesn’t change the fact that it’s for your own good. So you should learn to care of your parents.
They want to build you into a person with a well-balanced personality, character, and mindset. Their actions help you steer off some life issues that could mar your chances of living a very productive and peaceful life.
So, the next time Mummy or daddy says to you “wash your clothes often”, know that it’s for your own good. They don’t want you to be a dirty person. When your clothes reek of sweat and are dirty, people will not want to associate with you and you could get teased or mocked at school by your mates. This could affect your self-esteem, making you withdraw from others. You see that? So you parents love you, and so you should take care of your parents.
Even the Bible encourages us to keep clean as it portrays the state of our hearts before God.
Take your evil deeds out of my sight; stop doing wrong. Wash and make yourselves clean. Isaiah 1:16 NIV.
Again the Bible tells you to obey and honor your parents that it might be well with you. This also translates to taking care of your parents.
Ephesians 6:2-3 GW “Honor your father and mother, that everything may go well for you, and you may have a long life on earth.” This is an important commandment with a promise.
God bless you well as you do so. Amen.
Prayer: Almighty Father, help me to honor my parents by listening and obeying them. Help me to understand that all they do is for my own good. Amen.
Action Plan: Take time to appreciate God for your parents and seek to understand them, and seek to take care of your parents.
Declaration: My children are full of gratitude. They know and value us as their parents.
Finally, we have come to the end of our discussion about love languages. Every husband should have been able to discover to a large extent what his wife’s love language is by now.
You must have discovered that the way you speak your wife’s language is by speaking her love language. It is the language she understands.
God is not an author of confusion, so God would have put on your inside the ability to speak this language which is your wife’s love language. How often you speak this love is how often your wife feel loved. The extent to which you stubbornly refuse to speak this love language is the extent to which your wife feels unloved. So if you want your wife to feel unloved, you can go ahead and not speak her language. But if you are tired of quarrels and you want to experience peace in your home and life, then you have to learn these love languages and speak them.
The five love languages are:
1. Words of affirmation 2. Quality time 3. Service 4. Gifts 5. Physical touch
We are looking at the last love language which is:
5. Physical touch Here, the wife loves you to touch her. She feels connected to you when you touch affectionately. You must learn to hold her hands whether in public or in private.
Research has found out that there is a number of touches you give a woman daily and this will prolong her life span.
A husband who instead of touching his wife complains that she is immature is not being smart. He is only pulling trouble by the hands. Your touch must be meaningful. It does not have to be sexual, but meaningful.
Your touch must be special and mean more to your wife at all times. It must communicate love, tenderness, hope, appreciation, fondness, care, security, friendship, companionship, togetherness, spiritual covering, playfulness, thoughtfulness, blessing and all the good things you can think of.
Another aspect of physical touch is praying for your wife. Each husband must learn to hold hands with his wife and pray. There is the power of agreement when you hold hands and pray. He should also lay his hands on her head and proclaim and release blessing.
You have not touched your wife in days except when it comes to jeru trip, it does not work that way.You should be able to sit down side by side, hold hands and even kiss in public.
If your wife has her love tank filled up, she will not be tempted with looking elsewhere for love. This will eliminate to a large extent the problem of infidelity.
Satisfy your wife by speaking her love language to the best of your ability and stop complaining that she is difficult. No woman is difficult. Her love language is like her password. Once you know it and use it, you have her doing everything you want.
Love covers a multitude of sins. That means when you learn to speak your wife’s love language, that action covers up her sins even if they are many. You don’t have to see your wife’s sin, just focus on speaking her language.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am the most loving husband to my wife
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, open thou the eyes of my understanding in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Son 4:11 Thy lips, O [my] spouse, drop [as] the honeycomb: honey and milk [are] under thy tongue; and the smell of thy garments [is] like the smell of Lebanon.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Speak your wife’s love language
God hates divorce. It is not always God’s best option.
Here is the scripture:
“I hate divorce,” says the God of Israel. God-of-the-Angel-Armies says, “I hate the violent dismembering of the ‘one flesh’ of marriage.” So watch yourselves. Don’t let your guard down. Don’t cheat. Mal.2:16 MSG
I must however be quick to say that there are genuine instances where divorce is recommended. God intends that a man and woman should be in marriage as long as they are alive, but He has also made exceptions and this is what we want to look at from the scriptures.
When people remarry under the circumstances that we will be looking at, they should not entertain any condemnation again from the devil.
1. The Question of Marital unfaithfulness The first exception for divorce that God made has to do with unfaithfulness. This has to do with adulterous sin or any other sexual sin.
But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery:and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. (Matthew 5:32 KJV)
When there is marital unfaithfulness and sexual sin is involved, the marriage covenant is broken. As a result of this, the other spouse is freed. There have been cases where the spouse is willing to forgive and move on especially in instances where he or she has indirectly contributed to the spouses’ infidelity. But in cases where the spouse is unrepentant from the unfaithfulness, divorce becomes valid.
The reasons are obvious. A man or woman who is sexually and unrepentantly promiscuous can bring home a sexually transmitted disease. This cannot be God’s will. I once watched a documentary of seven women who all tested positive to HIV and the disease was already at an advanced stage. In each of the instances, the woman had been faithful, but had been unfortunately married to an unfaithful man who transmitted the disease! They faced their deaths because they were married to sexually irresponsible men!
2. The Question of Abandonment or Desertion The next scenario is when the spouse is unsaved and really wants to end the marriage. This often plays out by the uninterested spouse walking away from the marriage and abandoning his or her spouse. In such cases, the spouse is not obligated to stay.
But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. (1 Corinthians 7:15 KJV)
When the person abandoned gets remarried, it is not considered adultery. I have had to handle cases where some women’s husbands have abandoned them for upward of ten years! The emotional trauma and sense of isolation is tremendous and some of such women have gone on to become women of easy virtue because of the obvious vulnerability. When a spouse walks away for some five to seven years, something is definitely wrong somewhere. He keeps promising he is going to come back, but he might never! You need to answer the questions above.
3. The Question of Intense brutality which can be physical, mental, and or sexual abuse This is another valid reason for divorce. It is not easy to live with a man who you are not sure of his love for you. Having to live in the same house with a man who can strangle you and end your life before daylight can be very crushing. When either spouse has been brutalized, this is often seen as equivalent to ‘desertion.’ It is often called constructive desertion.
When your life is no longer safe, when you have been battered over and over again, it is not worth it in such marriages. Not a few women have lost their lives in the hands of abusive spouses. If your spouse attacks you physically and then apologizes and stops, please kindly embrace him back. It is not appropriate to jump to a conclusion and head for divorce because of a mistake he makes after you aggravated him.
But talking candidly to men, never raise your hand against your wife. It is not manly and it is not godly. That woman was given to you so that you can protect her, not end her life. I know some ladies can be very sharp-mouthed and extremely rude, but when you see her as one with you, you will patiently resolve all issues rather than resort to violence.
When your spouse forces you into sexual sins and into perversions, don’t keep quiet. Seek help and seek counsel. Ask him questions.
In conclusion, I will still tell you that divorce is never the best! Do all you can to fight for your marriage until it becomes absolutely impossible to continue in that marriage! This also means that such flimsy excuses as irreconcilable differences, lack of love, incompatibility, different career goals, and so on are not valid grounds for divorce.
For singles, you can prevent divorce by not rushing into a marriage with a man you don’t know. You don’t go into marriage haphazardly; you go into it deliberately, intentionally, and consciously following God’s plan and injunctions.
Happy new month!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I ask the right questions.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to ask the right questions
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mal 2:15 (GW)Didn’t God make you one? Your flesh and spirit belong to him. And what does the same God look for but godly descendants? So be careful not to be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.
Yea, we aregetting close to the end of discussing love languages and I hope you are getting blessed. If you have questions you may ask and at the end of the topic we will try and answer them.
It bears repetition, that it is the husband’s responsibility to love his wife. God commanded the husband to love his wife. What God commanded the wife is to respect and honor her husband.
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Maybe it is because naturally, a wife loves her husband. What is not natural is for a husband to love. Men find it more difficult to show or express love. Women find it easy to love but difficult to respect. So God says focus on what is unnatural with you to do and get better at it as I give you strength. It is not going to be easy but once you are prepared to love your wife and ask God for strength, He will give you.
Your wife will sense love when you speak any one of these love languages. There will be one or at most two of these languages that will readily resonate with your wife. Be very tactical in discovering which one it is and start speaking it.
Note, it is not that you cannot express love by using any one of these languages, but we are looking at the one that best describes your wife’s love language.
The 5 love languages are:
1. Words of affirmation 2. Quality time 3. Service 4. Gifts 5. Physical touch
We will look at the next one.
4. Gifts
In this love language, you have to be a giver and enjoy it. If this is your wife’s primary love language. It is a love language for the giving husband or let’s say the thoughtful husband. Even though not all rich husband express their love in this way. It is advisable to show your wife love this way if you want her full cooperation.
Here, the gift does not have to be expensive. It just has to be a gift. A box of chocolate, a bar of candy, something for her hair, a roll-on, soap, perfume, earrings and the list goes on and on.
However, the gift needs to be thoughtful. Your wife can’t need a perfume and you buy her a knife. It is not just buying anything. There are appropriate gifts and inappropriate gifts. There are also gifts that speak volumes and the ones that are casual gifts. There are gifts that show your thoughtfulness and there are gifts that reveal your absent mindedness.
You should not buy your wife a gift and you buy a shoe three times short her size. You buy a winter jacket in summer. It has to be meaningful, useful and thoughtful.
If your wife’s love language is expressed by giving her gifts, then it has to be consistent. Buy her gifts regularly, not once in a blue moon. Don’t let her receive one gift now and have to pray in tongues for months before you buy her another. Let it be as consistent as it can be especially since it is not expensive. It is better not to be expensive but consistent than expensive but inconsistent.
Let her special days not end without you buying her a gift. Your gifts mean so much to her. Each time she uses it or sees them, she is happy to know that you bought them for her.When she thinks of how many gifts you have bought for her, let her feel grateful to God for you. Her love tank is full, knowing that you love her.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will love my wife consistently
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, empower me, to love my wife consistently.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 18:16 A man’s gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Buy a gift for your wife today
Why is this so important? If you don’t love yourself, it is not possible for any other person to love you the way they should. They will only be using you rather. It is important to deal with this. You have to love yourself. You have to accept yourself. Loving yourself is key!
1. Discover your potentials One of the ways to love yourself and overcome self-hate is to discover your potentials. If you have not discovered your potentials, you will keep on comparing yourself to another, who in the real sense may be envying you! Your gifting and natural talents are an indication of your potentials and a pointer to your purpose in life! You have to discover what you are created for.
Listen to me, when you discover your potential and the reason you are on this earth, you will love yourself. All the negative feelings of self-hate and self-rejection will vapourize! Nobody is created for fun. We are all created for a purpose!
Your potential or natural talents may not even be in vogue now, but just stay with it! That is part of loving yourself.
In the seventies and early eighties when we go out to play football, our parents would reprimand us and tell us to go and read our books! Today, parents are buying footballs, and telling their wards, you must know how to play this thing! Why? Footballers are heavily paid today!
Some twenty years back, comedy is not a profession as it were in Nigeria. Today, they make millions in the hour! What are your natural talents? You’ve got to discover them because that is where your prosperity is!
2. Develop your potential After you have discovered your potential, the next thing to do is to develop it. Organise your potential for productivity. Equip your potential for profit. How do you do that? Get information about your potential, gifts or talents. Read books on them. Get all you need on it and be adequately informed.
3. Deploy your potentials The next thing to do is to package your potential and deploy it. Step out on it! Start something today. A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step! Stick out your neck and move on! A wet swimmer is better than a dry boat-sitter!
4. Be passionate about what you do Be passionate about your assignment. You see, when you are busy with all these, you will not have time for self-hate or self-rejection or not loving yourself appropriately. The proof of desire is always in your pursuit.
A young man that wakes up by 9.00am has woken up too late. By that time, several people have made their first million for the day! Approach life with passion. Commit to your potential. Write the vision and make it plain that he that readeth may run with it. After you have prayed and prayed, then step out so that God can bless the works of your hands.
Don’t be like the pastor who wanted to organise a crusade. He prayed like no man’s business. Morning, afternoon and night, he was praying and groaning. But he didn’t make a single flier neither was he on T.V or Radio! So on the day of the crusade, all of heaven was aware, but nobody knew except him on earth. The result? The crusade ground was jam-packed with angels, but not a singe human! Warrior angels, praise angels and so many were there, because heaven was aware. But not a single human being knew! Even though he has prayed, and made tremendous power available, his spiritual efforts were not complimented with adequate publicity.
You see, if God will help you, you must be doing something for him to help!
Don’t be like a man who wants to get married but has no job and has no intention of getting one. The wife is supposed to be a help-meet. So, what was she coming to help you with?
5. Be full of praise Finally be full of praise. Be grateful to God for the gift of life! Why would you complain about a simple headache? Don’t you know that it is only people that have heads that can have headache? So thank God for giving you a head first!
You got depressed because your result in school was not that good? Don’t you know the other child whose destiny has been retired to selling and hawking oranges is wishing that he had the kind of opportunity you have? You are sad because you are not yet married? Thank God for your time of singleness and enjoy it because some married people wish they can just be single again to correct a lasting mistake!
It is when you come to God with an attitude of praise, that the heavens open over you to satisfy the desire of your heart!
Wake up with praise and gratefulness in your heart and not with complaints and murmurings. Go to bed thanking God for the day and not with emotions of regret. Then, you are qualified for God’s hand upon you afresh and you can love yourself the way God loves you.
Shalom!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love myself. I am loving in my approach.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me how to love and appreciate myself
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psalms 90:14 O satisfy us early with thy mercy; that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be loving to yourself by taking yourself out
Words have power! The power of words can be readily seen in the story of creation, and in our lives too. Let’s look at a brief story of Amaka. Amaka scanned the sea of faces about her as she made her way to the assembly ground. It was her first day at the new school. She put on her best smile as the students passed her, hoping for a familiar face.
“Lord, let me find just one person that I know,” she prayed.
Suddenly someone in a hurry rushed past her and she fell to the ground. She looked at her bleeding knees and felt an ache around her ankle. How was she going to use the power of words?
“This was going to be hard,” she told herself as she got up.
“I hate this school!” she blurted out. “Why did mom even pick it for me?”
The bible makes us understand the immense power of our words. The power of words is real; see what the Scriptures say –
Prov. 13:2 “Be careful what you say and protect your life. A careless talker destroys his life.” (GNB)
This verse cautions us to watch what we say as our words are so powerful to create what we say. Our words can make or break us. What we say is what we see and become. The words you speak have an impact on your life.
The more you keep complaining about a situation, the more it worsens; that’s the power of words. Rather, choose to say positive words about it. You don’t deny that there is a problem, but you choose to look at it through positive lenses.
Use words that show you believe the situation will get better and won’t last forever. You have to keep believing that and let your actions show you believe. Learn to use the power of words to your advantage.
Amaka could have said “I am grateful that my parents are giving me an education. I will meet and make nice, God-fearing friends here. Things will work out well for me.”
This way, she’s is not focusing on what she doesn’t like about the school but rather, choosing to believe that she won’t find it rough there.
Finally, she could have just prayed about it to God. Prayer, also, is how you can exercise the power of words.
So, when next you feel like complaining about a situation or someone, remember to choose your words wisely.
Prayer: Lord God, thank you for your grace that helps me speak wisely. I will continually speak positive, pleasant, and life-giving words as from today. In Jesus name. Amen.
Action plan: What areas have you been speaking negatively about? Write as many as you can remember or know. Start to speak positively about them.
It is important that our children learn how to give. Let’s start by looking at that Scripture in Psalms that talks about how we have been wonderfully made.
Ps 139:14, KJV I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
The bible tells us that we are wonderfully and beautifully made by God. Can you imagine yourself as beautiful and wonderful? Do you see yourself as ordinary? Do you see yourself as someone with no talent or gift, with nothing to give or share with others?
God couldn’t have made you so beautiful and wonderful then leave you empty. No. You are a masterpiece from the Creator’s hands, so you must learn how to give. Even the stones He created give praise to His name when you admire them. When you look at the rainbow in the sky and smile, you are praising God
Your Creator didn’t create you without something to give. No one should complain that they have nothing to give. You have something to give. It could be a thing or an action.
You have a lot to give, children. More than you can ever imagine. You could give out your clothes if you’ve outgrown them, your toys, shoes, or books. Do you know that your smile could be a gift to someone who is down and just needs someone to notice and smile at them? You should learn how to give.
Your time is also a gift you can give to teach a friend or classmate who is struggling to understand lessons at school.
Praying for others is another thing you can give. You can pray for your parents, guardians, friends, siblings, pastor, teachers, neighbours, classmates, and so on.
Helping your parents or guardians at home is another good way to use your time; therefore learn how to give by helping your parents.
Whatever it is you plan to give to others, ensure you tell your parents or guardians.
God bless you as you give. Amen.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank you for how you made me. I am glad that I have more than I give. Teach me new ways to give to others. I learn how to give. Enable me to be a giver, to the glory of your name, Amen.
Declaration: My children learn to give. They do not withhold more than necessary.
I am devoting a lot of time on these love languages because it is a key element in having a fulfilling marriage. Once you understand your spouse’s love language and the God factor is involved in your marriage, at least, a large percentage of understanding yourselves and loving yourselves is guaranteed.
When you understand your wife’s love language and endeavor to speak it, half of the marital issues are solved.
When you love your wife the way she wants to be loved, you will see a new radiance on her. Then she will blossom, she will be more responsive, more cooperative and supportive. She will have more energy and her creative juice will be more alive.
She will be happy and the home will be more calm and peaceful. Your wife will be that joyful wife you have always dreamt she will be. There will be unity among you and you will be able to fulfill God’s mandate of one chasing one hundred and two of you chasing ten thousand.
The 5 love languages are:
Words of affirmation
Quality time and Attention
Acts of Service
Gifts
Physical touch
Let’s look at another love language today.
3. Acts of Service This is a beautiful way of showing that you care and love your wife. But don’t try to speak this love language if this is not your wife’s love language. A wife may get irritated at your wanting to help her do her “duties”.
A wife may frown at the idea of her husband coming to the kitchen or cooking dinner. She may even put up a fight, saying that her husband thinks she is a lazy brat that cannot cook. She may even say her husband thinks her food is not sweet.
Any woman that feels that way, definitely her love language is not acts of service or maybe she prefers the acts of service in another way. You will know it is your wife’s love language when she demands that you help her do stuffs.
She will always call on you to help her do things, unlike the wife who has all the energy and will do everything so that even if you want to help, there is nothing to help with.
You communicate love to a wife whose love language is acts of service by doing things for her. You help her with dishes, the kids, laundry, throwing the trash, cleaning the house, cooking, packing her clothes and everything that she needs help for.
Here, the husband must enjoy helping her before she can sense love. If you are too busy, you have to employ people that can help her out. In her frustration, she may cry out that she is slaving herself for you.
Some wives are satisfied when you do things for them. They don’t even want gifts as such. Once you are doing things for her, she’s okay.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am becoming a loving husband
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, teach me to understand my wife.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:25-26 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Pay attention to loving your wife
Apart from the points we discussed yesterday, how else will a man show his love for you?
Let’s go…
4. He will never raise his hands against you. A godly man that truly loves you will not lift his hands against you. Ladies, hear me and hear me well, if he is already donating slaps to you and you are gladly receiving them in love, it won’t stop after marriage. In fact, he will take it to the next level, and turn you into his punching bag. But he said ‘he will change!’ Why can’t he change now? Marriage doesn’t change anybody! In fact, it amplifies who you are because there is pressure of living with somebody now.
If you are courting a man that beats you regularly, that is nothing more than courting disaster. Deliver yourself like a roe out of the hands of the hunter and fly away before you become a prey. I know there are soul ties because of sexual involvement which is disobedience in itself, but the reality that you might be beaten all the days of your life should severe any soul ties and make you wake up! It is not God’s plan for you to be in a relationship where you are being physically abused consistently!
5. He will not draw you into sexual perversion. A godly man that truly loves you will not pull you into the world of sexual perversion where unimaginable things are being perpetrated. Don’t allow yourself to be treated like a jeru trip object, because you are not one.
He will not suggest to you things that you know are ungodly. He will not satisfy his lust at the expense of your relationship with God. He will not be asking you to send nude pictures. For what purpose would that be? He will not pull you further into the miry clay of sin where you keep slipping into iniquity. He will pull you up. He will be an encourager. He will be a positive motivator. Don’t settle for less.
6. A godly man that truly loves you will be accountable. He is not the alpha and omega of his life and home. He has mentors and authority figures over him that he is submissive to. Ladies, never get involved with a guy who has no authority figures over him. Anything could happen, and there would be nobody to talk to.
7. A godly man that truly loves you is a giver. He gives and he supports God’s work. He does not argue about paying tithes. He gives to God and he gives to you! What if he has not started work? Giving has nothing to do with the amount, it has a lot to do with the gesture and the heart!
May God grant you more understanding in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not fall in love with the wrong man.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God leads you to the man who will love you genuinely
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Ask questions about your relationship and take decisions.
Winning In The Mind was taught by Rev. Dunamis Okunowo on the 28th of July 2021 at Shouts of Grace Center, Joke Plaza, Beside Trans Amusement Park, Bodija-UI Road, Ibadan.
In his teaching, Rev. Dunamis made mention of the following important points:
Dear ladies,
Don’t marry a man you don’t love
Don’t marry a man you cannot submit to
Don’t marry a man whose correction you can’t take
Feminism is from the pit of hell; it is against the principles of God.
An average lady comes with her stubbornness.
It is sacrilegious for a husband/wife to confide in their friend or family about what the spouse knows nothing about.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
Genesis 2:24-25 (KJV)
The devil works through one major avenue – suggestions through your thoughts.
(For the weapons of our warfare [are] not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
2 Corinthians 10:4-5 (KJV)
The devil has strategy meetings over your life.
If he can’t get you as a single, he’ll wait for you in marriage.
We all have bundles of issues in our mind. The more you solve these issues without denial, the better the quality of your life.
Winning in the mind is very important if you must make progress in life. This starts with the renewal of the mind. Your mind must continually be under transformation, with the Word of God.
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, [which is] your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
Romans 12:1-2 (KJV)
To listen to messages of Rev Dunamis, go HERE or HERE
We startedyesterday talking about how important it is for you to speak your wife’s language. I also stated that language here means your wife’s love language.
If you didn’t read yesterday’s post, I will implore you to go ahead and read it.
There are five basic love languages which are:
1. Words of affirmation 2. Quality time and Attention 3. Service 4. Gifts 5. Physical Touch
We have looked at Words of affirmation. Let’s continue from where I stopped yesterday.
2. Quality time and Attention It is good to know that basically, it is the responsibility of the husband to learn his wife’s love language. It is God’s order in a marriage that the husband loves his wife while the wife respects and honors her husband.
It is not a case of “my wife is too demanding, she always wants me to speak her love language while she doesn’t attempt to speak mine.” Husbands must concentrate on loving your wife.
Quality time as it suggests means spending quality time with her. Here, quality time could mean different things to different women. To some, it could mean spending time with her when she is in the kitchen cooking, it could mean going on vacation together, having weekend trips, going to the movies, shopping, just spend time with her.
It means you are spending time and giving her attention. You let her know your plans, your whereabouts, investments, meetings, friends, and everything. You don’t keep secrets.
Your wife may be crying for your attention and you are busy working yourself out to stupor trying to provide for the family. She will not sense your love until you slow down and spend some time with her.
If you are a busy husband, schedule time consciously to be together. We had to plan that into our marriage. Call it me and you time. Let nothing interrupt this time. You may need to switch off your phone or do a get-away for two.
It doesn’t have to be expensive or far. If the children are still young, find a friend’s place you can keep them for a few hours to just go. Your wife will appreciate you more for your effort.
Many quarrels go on in marriage because we don’t know where to focus our resources and energy. Once you discover your wife’s love language, go ahead and start speaking it and improve on speaking it.
Your wife may be throwing tantrums just because she doesn’t feel your love. She feels your love when you speak her love language. She will adore you and respect you the moment she can sense your love.
Try and pay attention to her and seek to find out her love language. What does your wife complain about all the time? It is a clue to what her love language is. You may have to try different things before you finally discover which one it is.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have wisdom for my marriage
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “In the same way you married men should live considerately with [ your wives ], with an intelligent recognition [ of the marriage relation ], honoring the woman as [ physically ] the weaker, but [ realizing that you ] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [ Otherwise you cannot pray effectively. ]” (1Pe 3:7, AMP)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Find out what her love language is
Can there be stress in children? Now stress is a daily part of our lives. We can’t hide from it but can only find ways to minimize its effects on us. A little stress though is good for us.
1 Sam 3:8 (KJV ) And the LORD called Samuel again the third time. And he arose and went to Eli, and said, Here am I; for thou didst call me. And Eli perceived that the LORD had called the child.
Children also experience stress. There can be stress in children – it could be a bully at school, a harsh teacher, or even an uncomfortable classroom. At home, it could be rifts between siblings, parental discord, or the death of a family member or friend.
Older children often are able to identify something that is bothering them, unlike younger ones who have not acquired the capacity to do so.
Children don’t and can’t manage stress the way adults do. It shows through their words, actions, and behaviours. There you must learn how to identify stress in children so you can help them.
Little Samuel heard God calling to him but didn’t know what to do. He ran to Eli every time he heard God’s voice asking if the old priest was the one calling him. Eli identified that it was God calling little Samuel. He then told Samuel what to say when next he heard the voice.
The bible doesn’t record that Samuel experienced any stress but it was a situation that was new to him. He couldn’t process it and went to the only person he knew that could help. And Eli was able to help him. Older adults can therefore help manage stress in children.
Parents must be observant to notice any change in their children. Children won’t tell you what is disturbing them immediately, even when you ask. Only by observing can a parent find out. Parents must give total attention to children when they are speaking.
Declaration: My children are not stressed. They learn to speak out. They are surrounded daily by the right people.
Prayer (parent): Lord, help me to be truly observant about my child(ren). Help me to notice the changes in them no matter how subtle they may be. Help me to identify stress in children. Amen.
PrayerChild: I will speak out when I have an issue bothering me. I will ask for help.
