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God hates divorce. It is not always God’s best option.

Here is the scripture:

“I hate divorce,” says the God of Israel. God-of-the-Angel-Armies says, “I hate the violent dismembering of the ‘one flesh’ of marriage.” So watch yourselves. Don’t let your guard down. Don’t cheat. Mal.2:16 MSG

I must however be quick to say that there are genuine instances where divorce is recommended. God intends that a man and woman should be in marriage as long as they are alive, but He has also made exceptions and this is what we want to look at from the scriptures.

When people remarry under the circumstances that we will be looking at, they should not entertain any condemnation again from the devil.

1. The Question of Marital unfaithfulness
The first exception for divorce that God made has to do with unfaithfulness. This has to do with adulterous sin or any other sexual sin.

But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery:and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. (Matthew 5:32 KJV)

When there is marital unfaithfulness and sexual sin is involved, the marriage covenant is broken. As a result of this, the other spouse is freed. There have been cases where the spouse is willing to forgive and move on especially in instances where he or she has indirectly contributed to the spouses’ infidelity.  But in cases where the spouse is unrepentant from the unfaithfulness, divorce becomes valid.

The reasons are obvious. A man or woman who is sexually and unrepentantly promiscuous can bring home a sexually transmitted disease. This cannot be God’s will. I once watched a documentary of seven women who all tested positive to HIV and the disease was already at an advanced stage. In each of the instances, the woman had been faithful, but had been unfortunately married to an unfaithful man who transmitted the disease! They faced their deaths because they were married to sexually irresponsible men!

2. The Question of Abandonment or Desertion
The next scenario is when the spouse is unsaved and really wants to end the marriage. This often plays out by the uninterested spouse walking away from the marriage and abandoning his or her spouse. In such cases, the spouse is not obligated to stay.

But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. (1 Corinthians 7:15 KJV)

When the person abandoned gets remarried, it is not considered adultery. I have had to handle cases where some women’s husbands have abandoned them for upward of ten years! The emotional trauma and sense of isolation is tremendous and some of such women have gone on to become women of easy virtue because of the obvious vulnerability. When a spouse walks away for some five to seven years, something is definitely wrong somewhere. He keeps promising he is going to come back, but he might never! You need to answer the questions above.

3. The Question of Intense brutality which can be physical, mental, and or sexual abuse
This is another valid reason for divorce. It is not easy to live with a man who you are not sure of his love for you. Having to live in the same house with a man who can strangle you and end your life before daylight can be very crushing. When either spouse has been brutalized, this is often seen as equivalent to ‘desertion.’ It is often called constructive desertion.

When your life is no longer safe, when you have been battered over and over again, it is not worth it in such marriages. Not a few women have lost their lives in the hands of abusive spouses. If your spouse attacks you physically and then apologizes and stops, please kindly embrace him back. It is not appropriate to jump to a conclusion and head for divorce because of a mistake he makes after you aggravated him.

But talking candidly to men, never raise your hand against your wife. It is not manly and it is not godly. That woman was given to you so that you can protect her, not end her life. I know some ladies can be very sharp-mouthed and extremely rude, but when you see her as one with you, you will patiently resolve all issues rather than resort to violence.

When your spouse forces you into sexual sins and into perversions, don’t keep quiet. Seek help and seek counsel. Ask him questions.

In conclusion, I will still tell you that divorce is never the best! Do all you can to fight for your marriage until it becomes absolutely impossible to continue in that marriage! This also means that such flimsy excuses as irreconcilable differences, lack of love, incompatibility, different career goals, and so on are not valid grounds for divorce.

For singles, you can prevent divorce by not rushing into a marriage with a man you don’t know. You don’t go into marriage haphazardly; you go into it deliberately, intentionally, and consciously following God’s plan and injunctions.

Happy new month!

I ask the right questions.

Lord, help me to ask the right questions

Mal 2:15 (GW) Didn’t God make you one? Your flesh and spirit belong to him. And what does the same God look for but godly descendants? So be careful not to be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.

Ask questions.

Mal 2


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