How To Build Up Your Self-Esteem. Low self-esteem has driven many into sexual promiscuity. They really want somebody to affirm them. Such people must be in a relationship overtime because they feel incomplete without a boyfriend or girlfriend. But you see, you cannot get from a man what is designed to come from God and His word.
Let’s find out How To Build Up Your Self-Esteem. It is a “self” thing.
In building up your self-esteem, the first thing I will like you to note is that it is a “self-issue!” That is why it is called “self-esteem!” It is not lecturer esteem or father esteem or boyfriend esteem. It is self-esteem. In having good self-esteem, you are not to seek it from anybody, you can only build it by yourself by giving yourself to study of God’s word which will then strengthen you from within.
“For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” (Psa 139:13-14, KJV)
When you go into a relationship or get married for the sole purpose of building your esteem, it usually would not work out because you would eventually be disappointed. Why is that? It is not a job for man, it is a job for your God.
So it is called self-esteem because nobody can study God’s word for you. You have to do it yourself. It is called self-esteem because you are supposed to build up your personal prayer life instead of looking around for some prophets who will end up deceiving you.
It is not siblings’ esteem, not uncle esteem and definitely, it is not pastor esteem. Self-discovery and purpose discovery are personal journeys you must embark on. When you discover God’s purpose for your life, it will stabilize your emotions and you will not be driven to and fro by the storms and winds of life. When you know God’s plan for your marriage, you will not even consider it when a married man comes around telling you all kinds of lies.
When you have good self-esteem, you will not be persuaded intoner marital sex by guys who are only looking for fun. Now listen to this, you will never be able to build up your self-esteem through sex. That is not what your body is designed to do. Your body is not meant to be used as a weapon to get what you want. Don’t reduce what God calls His temple to what is cheaply available to all and sundry. Raise your shoulder and embrace the dignity with which you are created.
On the contrary, sex offers you a quick temporary feeling of being loved, but the feeling quickly disappears because feelings are fickle. After you are done, you find yourself back in the deep gully of low self-esteem. You then need to offer your body more to get some love and affirmation, but it will always end in frustration because that is not what God designed you for.
For married people, a lot of other issues can spring up from a spouse dealing with low self-esteem. It can be constant irritability when corrected. It can be communication issues. It can be unnecessary inhibitions in the bedroom, and so on and so forth.
Decide to deliberately build your esteem through God’s word, serving Him, purpose discovery, and living that purpose.
In 1996, I proposed and my wife said Yes. We were campus sweethearts. She would always tell me that she said ‘Yes’ in faith! Can you imagine? Is it that I am not fine ni? Today we both laugh over that statement and of course, trust me, I would say, I also proposed in hope since faith and hope work together! Lobatan!
Exercising faith in your relationship and marriage is very important. Faith in God, His word, in the man you are saying Yes to, and in yourself that all will be well.
Doubt and worry are the devil’s attempts and attacks on our minds to steal God’s will and God’s best from us.
What are the 5 Ways Doubt Can Cause Havoc?
1. It can lead to confusion.
Marriage is a faith institution. Its foundation cannot be anything apart from faith. When you doubt, you become unsure of what exactly you are to do. God never configured us to function outside of His leading. An attempt to do so will only lead to confusion. I pray for you this morning, confusion will not be your portion in Jesus’ name 2. It can lead to considerations of alternatives and other options
There will always be alternatives. But the question should be, where will the other alternatives lead you to? That’s when other ladies and guys will look more attractive than God’s best for you. It’s all about your purpose. This singular knowledge will keep you contented. I pray for you this morning, you will not be sidetracked from God’s purpose.
In marriage, there are no more options for you. Simply concentrate on the one you have chosen, and get blessed there.
3. It can make you be double-minded
When you are in doubt, you are double-minded and like the Bible says, a double-minded man cannot receive anything from the Lord. It becomes difficult for God to bless your relationship when you are still in doubt. Today, you are convinced, tomorrow you are no longer sure. Every doubt in your heart is terminated in Jesus’ name.
In marriage, that assurance is needed to keep you standing when the marital wind and storms show up.
4. It can tamper with your focus
Focus is very essential in building a successful relationship and marriage. God really blessed us with a lot of focus while in courtship. We were focused on making things right and doing things God’s way. We laugh now, but more of being grateful to God when we look back and see that we spent most of our courtship time praying and preparing for what God will have us do in the future.
You will not be distracted in Jesus’ name
5. It can take genuine love from your relationship.
Pure, genuine love will have no room to entertain doubt and worry. Love needs to grow in an atmosphere of certainty, clarity of purpose, oneness, and single-mindedness. Fear has torment but perfect love cast out fear. Once you are in doubt and unbelief, you cannot even attract God’s help because you don’t trust him enough to be sure He will take care of you. You will be reluctant to give your full commitment. For a successful relationship, a hundred percent of your heart and commitment are needed. These are the 5 Ways Doubt Can Cause Havoc
May God help us in Jesus’ Name. May His word take root in our hearts to build strong faith in our God.
CONFESSION I will not succumb to worry and doubt in my life
PRAYER Lord, teach me to rely on you and put my trust in you in Jesus name
Don’t Just Give Up Yet! This morning, God asked me to tell you; Don’t Just Give Up Yet
Why should I wait a little bit more, Pastor?
1. I have been living right and nothing is happening! I am tired.
By faith Enoch was translated that he should not see death; and was not found, because God had translated him: for before his translation he had this testimony, that he pleased God. (Hebrews 11:5 KJV)
There is translation and relocation, coming your way. No, you won’t die; you will have victory. What can we learn from Enoch? He pleased God. You cannot please God and then be pissed at the end. He walked with God and he was no more experiencing the failures and the disappointments of this world.
Stay with God, walk with God and decide to please Him, in a moment of time, like a twinkling of an eye, He will turn your captivity around. I see a transformation wherein you will be as one that is dreaming; I see a testimony on your way, which will fill your mouth with laughter.
Single or married, decide to walk with God. Start your day by talking to Him. Spend time worshiping Him and you will see His glory in your life!
Don’t Just Give Up Yet
2. I don’t have a clue about what God wants to do, I have been obeying Him and I am discouraged
By faith Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed; and he went out, not knowing whither he went. (Hebrews 11:8 KJV)
Stay in obedience. If you can stay in obedience even when it doesn’t make sense, you will have victory. Do you know that God doesn’t make sense? Rather than question His instructions, simply obey Him! Too much analysis can lead to paralysis. Just obey. When He asks you to give, just give because He has a harvest in mind. When He asks you to move without giving you a destination, just move first. When He asks you to start a ministry or a business, just start because until you start, you will not provoke the supply.
Abraham went out, not knowing wither He went. That has been the story of my life and this ministry, I don’t care what people think, I care what God is saying. When you listen too much to people, your dreams will be ruptured.
Don’t Just Give Up Yet
3. Time is going and I am getting frustrated.
Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she judged him faithful who had promised. (Hebrews 11:11 KJV)
She judged God faithful. She called God faithful. It looked impossible, but she hung on the rope of God’s faithfulness. God will never be late, yes, there might have been a delay, but there will never be a denial.
This morning, I pray over you, receive strength to conceive. You are not barren, you have the eggs right there in your womb, this morning, receive the word of God as seed to fertilize your dreams and vision, and let there be a conception.
Your dream of a good marriage; a handsome godly husband, receive strength now, to conceive, by God’s word coming your way this morning.
Your dream of a good wife, a beautiful anointed helper meet, receive strength right now to conceive and let there be conception.
Your dream of carrying your own baby in your hands, receive strength in your inner man this morning and let there be conception in Jesus’ name.
You see in times when there are fertility issues, low sperm count issues, womb anomalies, and tube block issues, you simply allow the Almighty to overshadow you as He did for Mary, it was the seed of the word that caused conception. As God’s word comes to you this morning, I declare every biological anomaly in your body to be corrected and made ready for conception in Jesus’ name!
I remember the lady that called me from Qatar, who has gone to see her husband. She is returning to Nigeria and she wanted to get pregnant because she doesn’t know when she would see her husband next but nothing was happening. She called and I said some simple prayers over the phone. Did God do it? She conceived.
I remember the lady that called from the UK who was having conception issues. I prayed for her and God honoured His word.
What about the lady I prayed for in Ibadan, she was my classmate in Masters Degree programme in University of Ibadan in 2005. She wanted to conceive because she had only one daughter and no more. I remember she wept as I prayed for her. Fast forward a few years, and she wanted me to reverse the prayers because God has added two more in quick successions! Receive strength to conceive this morning in Jesus’ name! Lay your hands on your belly, whether it be the fruit of the womb, or the reality of your vision, and pray in the spirit.
CONFESSION I will not give up on God
PRAYER Lord, I receive strength to conceive today in Jesus name
1. God knows what He is doing God knows what He is doing about your life and in your life and He is not confused. If you are single and you are worried about who your spouse is, well, your spouse is somewhere right now. Be patient, be focused, and trust God as a father that He will lead you and guide you.
Never ever allow the devil to push you into a corner and tell you that something is wrong with you. All you should do is trust God, and you will rejoice in the end. Don’t compare yourself with others; we all have different timetables. The fact that somebody arrived before you does not mean the person is more favoured, there are times and seasons and your prayer should be, Lord, help me to be sensitive to your leading at all times.
If you are already married and you are not happy in your marriage, talk to God about it. God has a way of bringing succor to every storm of life. He knows what the situation is in your marriage. He knows exactly the solution to any imbroglio. Get close to Him and talk to Him.
2. Don’t stop reading God’s word You know what? That word of God is your life. Don’t joke with it. Don’t play with it. Stay with it and believe it. Embrace it and meditate on it. The word of God is anointed of itself and by itself to come to pass. Whatever you are passing through right now, the answer is in God’s word. There is no special Bible for singles and another for married. In the Bible is encapsulated everything thing you will ever need in life. Your spouse, your children, and your prosperity are right inside that word.
3. Sin and compromise will slow you down Stay away from all compromise. If you are single, don’t slow yourself down through compromise. The pressure is mounting daily but you must learn to put your body under and remain disciplined. The scripture says that sin shall not have dominion over us. The pressures in this generation will not be an excuse for any character defect.
Married Couples focus on your spouse and spouse only. Stay away from all compromises!
4. There is a place for mercy and His grace If you have made mistakes, don’t condemn yourself because God does not condemn you. What He wants from you is repentance and if you run to him at such times, He will cleanse and restore you. Psalm 23 says, He restoreth my soul. I pray for you this morning, every area of your life that has been tampered with, let there be restoration now!
5. Don’t stop giving If you will break the back of poverty and lack in your life, you have to give. You have to be delivered from greed and you have to stop being materialistic. True wealth from God will always include sowing seed consistently!
These are the 5 Truths Single And Married Should Know. May God give you more understanding.
PRAYER Lord, help me to stay sensitive to your leading
CONFESSION I am not confused. God’s greatness lies in me. He has a plan for me. That plan will come to pass
50 Ways To Love One Another Part 2. I wrote the first 25 yesterday. I will complete them today
Feelings are fickle. Do not rely on feelings because they can fail
You must move from feelings to commitments
Genuinely care for your spouse. Be deliberate. Don’t take each other for granted.
Do not pursue men. Men can sense desperate women, and they can often take advantage of them
Do not lie to your loved one. A reputation of a liar is not cool in marriage
The truth sets free. Learn to be truthful
God did not lead you wrong, it is situations that pull you in the wrong directions
Don’t love your gadgets more than you love your spouse
Avoid pornography as singles. It awakens unnecessary cravings
Avoid pornography as couples. It will open doors for demonic spirits in the home
Do not sleep over at a guy’s place when you are not yet married.
If he loves you he will wait for you
If she loves you, she will be proud of you
Avoid borrowing. You will eventually drag your loved one into its consequences
Cuddle one another to sleep as married couples. Papa Kenneth Hagin of blessed memory said his wife would sleep in his arms every night. That is powerful.
Avoid every form of sexual perversion as singles. Oral sex and the like are forbidden areas.
Avoid sexual perversion as married couples. There is nothing you are learning from Kama Sutra or soft porn other than the door opens for demonic spirits
The best way to raise your children is to model love to them. Love each other and express the love before them
Double dating is a rehearsal for adultery. It takes the same heart and God is not excited about it
Hurts and wounds for your ex are often taken into the next relationship. Forgive deliberately
When you lose your peace and your joy departs in a relationship, they are warning signs for you
Adultery doesn’t come with two horns on the head. It comes with all forms of subtlety. Be cautious with the opposite sex
You are not the Holy Spirit. Stop trying to help everybody while your spouse suffers the brunt emotionally. That game will end faster than you think
Life zooms past more speedily than a bullet train. Whatever you want to do, do it now. Stop postponing taking care of one another. Do it now.
Put God first in all you do. Love God first before loving any man. That is the order.
