You can’t fix yourself in your own way with your own methods.
You’ve been offered a divine invitation! Respond to it!
Mat 11:28 (KJV) Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Sleeping around and giving yourself to men will not help your self-esteem, it will actually erode it more. Drinking and smoking will not fix your inner struggle, only Jesus would!
Partying, wild living, and careless friendships, will not lead you into a godly marriage. Waiting on God and trusting Him as your shepherd is what will.
Three More Things You Shouldn’t Do 2. Never compare yourself to others
You are uniquely crafted with exclusive gifts that are branded on your destiny. There is something you can do better than anyone, find it and concentrate on that, rather than wear yourself out trying to do something that others are doing. Comparison trap is referred to as foolishness.
“For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” (2Co 10:12, KJV)
Three More Things You Shouldn’t Do 3. Never give up on yourself
You will still have a beautiful marriage. You still have your own children. You will see the travail of your heart. I curse that spirit of fatigue and tiredness hovering over your destiny. I infuse God’s strength into your inner man by the Spirit of God right now. I command the light of God to shine into dark areas of your mind right now, I terminate the activities of the spirits of confusion over your life right now.
I curse the spirits of depression and despair in your life. That spirit that has caused you to hibernate into passiveness and dulled life is cursed in Jesus’ name. Fresh energy and divine strength are bursting from within you now, grace to receive the best of God and to wait for His salvation is released unto you right now in Jesus’ name. Creativity is bursting forth from within you now!
The spirit that wants you to give up, wrap up and quit, we stop its activities in Jesus’ name. I proclaim over your life and destiny right now, God’s word will no longer be prolonged over you. There is a speedy accomplishment over you right now because the hand of the Lord is coming upon you right now. Believe it. Say it. You will see it and people will rejoice with you! These are Three More Things You Shouldn’t Do
Two Things You Shouldn’t Allow. There is a man called Dr. Nick. I am sure you have seen his video. He was born without limbs. No legs. It was a pathetic case, enough for any man to commit suicide. But he didn’t see himself as disabled, rather he sees himself as a complete man, as a servant of God, and thousands of people, gather to see him inspire them, they forget he has no legs and they listen with rapt attention. He is married to a dashingly beautiful lady who didn’t care about his disability because Dr. Nick himself never sees himself as inferior to any other man!
How do you see yourself? What do you call yourself?
“And there we saw the giants, the sons of Anak, which come of the giants: and we were in our own sight as grasshoppers, and so we were in their sight.” (Num 13:33, KJV)
People tend to see you through you! They were not grasshoppers, God did not create them as grasshoppers, but the moment they saw themselves as grasshoppers, the same image was replicated in others who saw them.
If you see yourself as stupid, you will act stupid and people will call you stupid, even though you are smart.
If you see yourself as a nuisance, you will last like that, and definitely when you show up, people will know that the nuisance has arrived.
If you see yourself as rejected and disfavoured, you will do everything to follow the script, and people will surely reject you, even though God’s favour rests upon you!
If you see yourself as blessed and fortunate, people will keep blessing you, even though there is some generational curse, but the curse will simply fail to work over your life
Here are a few things to note.
Two Things You Shouldn’t Allow
1. Never look down on yourself.
You are created in God’s image. Believe it. You are not a mistake. You are not an error. You are not a disaster. You are not a regretful creature. Don’t look down on yourself, for if you do, people will look down on you and they will trample on you.
This is why the scripture advises:
“Let no one despise or think less of you because of your youth, but be an example (pattern) for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity.” (1Ti 4:12, AMP)
Nobody can despise you until you permit them by the way you have despised yourself. Celebrate yourself.
2. Never speak ill of yourself
Words are powerful. Words are so much powerful that whatever you speak about yourself will eventually overwhelm your life and give direction to your life. Your words are like a map and a compass, much more powerful than Google maps.
Mephibosheth looked at himself and called himself a dead dog. No wonder he lived in a deserted place crawling like a dog, yet royal blood flowed in his vein.
When you say, you are not sure you will marry, you are embracing delay in your marital journey. There may be pressures around you, but the ultimate things are what you believe and say with your mouth.
If you say you are under a curse and that is why you are not married, things that happen to people who are under influence of curses will happen even though you are not cursed! That is how your words can be powerful. What a man utters carelessly can lead him into the gutter. These are the Two Things You Shouldn’t Allow
Decide to believe the best of God for your life and you will indeed see His best in Jesus’ name!
If I were a Single or Married Lady. This morning, I want to write to all ladies in the house and to all the men in their lives. From the wealth of experiences gathered during counselling times, there are things I would do and things I would never do if I were a lady.
Come to think of it, the lady seems to always be the one on the receiving end and the one that ‘suffers” and bares the consequences of unwise actions.
Think about it:
When a relationship breaks or doesn’t work out, who gets hurt the most? The guy or the lady?
When there is disappointment concerning the wedding, who cries endlessly for days? The guy or the lady?
When there is pre-marital sex, who is afraid of getting pregnant? The guy or the lady?
When pregnancy is anticipated, who starts drowning in pills like a fowl? The guy or the lady?
Who goes for all kinds of tests in the hospital? The guy or the lady?
Who goes through the pain of abortion in the event of that? The guy or the lady?
Who goes through the psychological trauma of murdering a life the most? The guy or the lady?
Who combines psychological trauma with emotional pain and then with physical discomfort? The guy or the lady?
If there were complications in the abortion process, whose body is affected? The guy or the lady?
If a complication arises and life is threatened, who loses her life? The guy or the lady?
If the womb is affected, who won’t be able to conceive eventually? The guy or the lady?
If the decision is to have the baby, whose tummy protrudes? The guy or the lady?
Who goes through the seeming stigma of carrying an unwanted pregnancy? The guy or the lady?
Who goes through all the morning sickness? The guy or the lady?
Whose body adjusts to the different trimesters with accompanying inconveniences? The guy or the lady?
Who goes through labour pain, at that moment when a lady goes through enough pain that would drown any man and make a grown-up man cry like a baby? The guy or the lady?
Hours or days before childbirth, who goes through the cramping, the tightening, the pounding, the stabbing, the back pain, the waves, the pressure, the pushing, and the exhaustion? The guy or the lady?
Who becomes a “single mother?” The guy or the lady?
Who does the breastfeeding afterward? The guy or the lady?
I can go on and on….but wait a moment…
Who ought to be wiser? The guy or the lady?
But really, who seems to be unwise? The guy or the lady? The answer to all of these seems to be The lady!
If I were a Single or Married Lady.
If I were a single lady,
1. I will not indulge in sex. If you can not wait for me, then you can be on your way.
2. I will not use my body to prove any love, because sex does not prove any love. If it does, then every prostitute ought to fall in love with their clients
3. I will not be used as a toy. I am not created to satisfy a man’s lust
4. Any man that cannot wait till marriage is not worth it. If any guy wants to go, I will let him go, maybe his name is Abedne-go!
5. I will be secure in God. It might look like it is taking long, but God will surely do it.
6. I will serve God in my generation. I will pay the price for greatness.
7. I will stay out of every compromise. If I am doing anything wrong now, I will make all things right. I will move out of his house if I am not yet married. I will not go and spend any weekend again. I am not a dry cleaner or house help.
8. I will not run after any man. I am to be wooed, pursued, and valued. Not the other way around.
9. I will focus on God as my Jehovah Jireh, not on some money bag who wants to destroy my life.
10. I will wait for the salvation of God. I will not be ahead of God.
If I were a married lady
1. I will respect my husband and be humble in my home
2. I will seek to please my husband
3. I will pray and find ways to help my husband.
4. I will stay away from any unfaithfulness, knowing it could open doors for the devil
5. I will be open to my husband and I will keep no secrets
6. I will deliberately choose to be joyful, and shut the door of depression and the negative atmosphere at home
7. I will not close up my spirit against my husband knowing it will bring lack into the family
8. I will get healed of any hurts and bitterness and always trust God to make all things well.
I pray that God will send help to you in specific areas where it is needed.
An Excursion Into The Mind Of A Lady Part 2. What does a lady want? That is our subject for today. Here is a typical conversation:
Bro.Zeru – Husband
Sis.Sube – Wife
Bro.Zeru: Hey dear, why are you looking so unhappy? What is wrong again?
Sis.Sube: Nothing
Bro.Zeru: Common, I know you now, there is something.
Sis.Sube: I said there is nothing.
Bro.Zeru: Ok, please, let’s talk
Sis.Sube: Is there really any need? It won’t change anything.
Bro.Zeru: Ok, I promise, let’s talk
Sis.Sube: You’ve not been there for me. You are not available. I can’t reach you.
Bro.Zeru: (Surprised) But I spend the whole office leave with you last week. We were together for one week.
Sis.Sube: Did we talk?
Bro.Zeru: But you didn’t say anything either. Will I be talking to myself?
Sis.Sube: You don’t have time for me. I am lonely.
Bro.Zeru: How can you say that? I don’t agree with that. How can you be lonely when I am here for you?
Sis.Sube: That is it. You will never agree.
Bro.Zeru: I am confused
Sis.Sube: When you are not watching movies, you are replying emails. When you are not replying emails, you are chatting away.
Bro.Zeru: I have to work now?
Sis.Sube: Yes, you are married to your work. Your work is more important than me.
Bro.Zeru: How can you say that? You know that is not true
Sis.Sube: That work is your first wife. I am just the neglected second wife
Bro.Zeru: I have to make money now? How would we have eaten?
Sis.Sube: You still don’t get it.
Bro.Zeru: I can’t get it. Very soon now, you will ask me to write you a check for shoes, jewelry, and others. I thought providing money makes you happy.
Sis.Sube: It makes me happy, but not as much as your availability.
Bro.Zeru: I am available, dear.
Sis.Sube: You are available, but I cannot reach you. You are there and you are not there. You are so near, but in your nearness, you are so distant.
Bro.Zeru: Ah! I am confused. Lord, help me. I want to make heaven.
Bro.Zeru is obviously frustrated. What he doesn’t know is that the greatest need of a lady is time and attention.
An Excursion Into The Mind Of A Lady Part 2.
Now I know there are ladies who don’t care a hoot about time and attention and all they want is money from some money bag who may be already married. These types of women are referred to as strange women in the scriptures.
I am talking about an average lady out there who loves God. Her greatest need is time and attention. Men need to understand this so they wouldn’t lose their wives! There are many marriages where the couple is no different from co-tenants or roommates because this great need has been neglected. It is a legitimate need, and every lady needs quality time and attention to function properly in her capacity as a helper.
When you give a lady what she wants, you will enjoy the best of her in marriage. I wish men could understand this and stop being unnecessarily bossy or egotistical.
A lady who cannot get this legitimate need met would be vulnerable to meeting this legitimate need in illegitimate ways. When this need is not met, you open your wife up to temptation from colleagues at work, men she encounters who care less about destroying your marriage.
Due to this serious issue, a lot of wives have closed up their spirits against their husbands, and it would affect a lot of things! It would affect finances, it would affect productivity and even children.
As singles in courtship, the same goes for you. You can easily lose her if you can’t give her time and attention. Yes, you may not be in the same location, but thank God for technology. When you have not called her in a week, she finds it difficult to believe that you really love her. And sincerely, as a man, when you really love a lady, you will want to reach her as often as possible.
Even when you are posted to a place that has no network, you will raise your phone high in the air, climb mountains or trees, and stand by the roof of the house, all in a bid to hear her sweet voice. That is what love is to her!
When you have not spoken to her in weeks, and she does not bother, you can as well know that she is getting emotional fulfillment elsewhere. It may be from other friends, from parties, from church, from children if she is married, but she will definitely find a way to meet her emotional needs.
And that is when it can really get dangerous. If one Casanova walks up to her at such times, she becomes vulnerable!
So what have we learned from our excursion into the mind of the lady today? Never ever neglect her. Give her time and attention! Men, be humble and go ahead and repent! Take her out today and spend time with her. Let her talk to you! Leave your iPad and Newspapers at home! This is An Excursion Into A Lady’s Mind Part 2
An Excursion Into A Lady’s Mind. Most men are frustrated today when it comes to understanding their spouse or spouse-to-be. Most people even believe that marriage is a necessary evil. But it is not like that in God’s word and since the scripture says no evil will befall us, God will not bring an evil institution upon us through marriage.
The devil has perverted the institution and has almost succeeded in selling the lie to the generation. You will thus find many people saying, it is better to stay unmarried. The problem with that is that such people often end up in a life of promiscuity.
A wife is not supposed to be a knife, she is supposed to be a helper. But most times, she is not fulfilled and does not have an enabling environment to be who she ought to be.
With over two decades of speaking, teaching, and writing on relationships and marriages, I have some ideas that can help you when it comes to how women think. Hundreds of young ladies, middle-aged ladies, and older ladies have spoken to me in counselling scenarios. Most of them would weep profusely as they narrate their ordeals. When guys call me, they are usually trying to find out how to choose a good lady, but when ladies call me, they are trying to get healed and get broken hearts mended. This however does not mean that men are incapable of experiencing broken hearts.
So, this morning, I want to take you by the hand, and let’s go on an excursion into the mind of a lady.
What do they think? What do they want? Why is she always moody? Why is she happy at this moment and then the next she is depressed? Why is she disinterested in sex sometimes? Why does she like to buy things? I can go on and on and there are so many questions. Let’s Take An Excursion Into A Lady’s Mind.
She is deeply emotional
Now, that is just plain difficult for guys to understand because again, you are trying to process emotionalism with logic. A lady is emotional, but a man is logical.
That are two different worlds.
Let me give you an example.
A couple is driving home after church service in their beautiful car when they suddenly sighted a young girl who appears homeless. This is a likely conversation that might ensue.
Wife: Oh Jesus, look at that little cutie. What is she doing on the road?
Husband: What is she doing? Obviously, she is homeless.
Wife: Can we take her home?
Husband: Take her home? Just like that?
Wife: But she is homeless and she needs help
Husband: So I should just park like that and ask her to hop into the car?
Wife: At least, let’s park and help her first
Husband: I am not parking. I don’t know her.
Wife: You are heartless
Husband: But I am not stupid
Wife: You are heartless. That is how you deal with me as well.
Husband: Why do you always like to pick up fights with me? What is your business with that child?
Wife: And you are coming from church. Is that what you are being taught?
Husband: What has church got to do with this for God’s sake? Why are you just difficult?
Wife: It is you that is wicked
Husband: (tunes in to car radio)
Wife: (Sobbing) That is how you always ignore me.
That is how a simple event can escalate and get the couple on edge because she is an emotional being.
What this means is that a guy and a lady will never think the same way, will never see things the same way, and will never say them the same way. They are thinking from different sides of the brain.
In courtship scenarios, the following type of conversation can ensue:
Guy: (Calls his fiancée who lives in another state) Hey, Baby, how are you doing?
Lady: (Answers unhappily) I am fine
Guy: What’s wrong? You don’t sound good
Lady: Are you just noticing?
Guy: But I just called now! There you go again. What is wrong this time?
Lady: Nothing
Guy: How can you say “nothing?”
Lady: Nothing
Guy: Ok, I will call you later
Lady: So, you want to hang up the phone?
Guy: But you said there is nothing?
Lady: I have always known you don’t love me!
Guy: Baby, I love you
Lady: If you love me, you would have called me yesterday
Guy: But I told you that I would be in class throughout yesterday
Lady: Whatever happened to SMS and chats?
Guy: I told you my phone would be with a repairer
Lady” Why can’t you borrow a phone? Am I not important to you?
Guy: Oh God. You just feel like picking a quarrel. So that’s the issue?
Lady: Yes
Guy: Ok, I am sorry
Lady: You are always sorry. Every time, you are sorry.
Guy: What do you want from me? So what do you want now?
Lady: Nothing
And they can go and on without any meaningful conclusion.
This is An Excursion Into A Lady’s Mind
The first thing I will like you to know this morning is that guys and ladies think differently. So, in a relationship or marriage, you don’t set out to win an argument, you simply try to understand each other.
Something that is insignificant to you can be a passionate issue for her and you need to deal with her with a lot of understanding. She is not logical, which sometimes makes her use too many words, but you need to know that she is intuitive.
CONFESSION I will live with understanding
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me by your Holy Spirit in my areas of ignorance
