How To Overcome Fear. Sally and George are in courtship and looking forward to marriage. But Sade is full of fears and questions. Will I be able to give birth? Is marriage meant for me? Will I be rich or wallow in abject poverty? What will the future look like? Will I live long? Her questions are endless and unending, fueled by constant fear.
The Johnsons on the other hand are married, but John is not exempted from a morbid fear that literally gripped them by the jugular.
How To Overcome Fear Will our kids be safe in school? I hope my little girl will not be abused in school. Each time he drives on the ever-busy road to his work, incessant flashes of accident scenes involving him would persist. Fear would often grip him so much that he sometimes needed to wipe his brow in an air-conditioned car!
Fear is never fair. It is more than a feeling, it is a demonic grip. That is why there are thousands of different fears and an innumerable number of phobias that the devil uses to hold men to ransom.
Fear is bondage and some people are actually bound all their lifetime in this weapon that the devil often wields, especially the fear of death.
“And also that He might deliver and completely set free all those who through the [ haunting ] fear of death were held in bondage throughout the whole course of their lives.” (Heb 2:15, AMP)
The above scripture says as a child of God you have been delivered and COMPLETELY set free! In relationships and marriage, several fears come through the devil into our minds.
Never entertain them!
You see, the devil cannot impose anything on you unless you permit him by embracing fear through the fearful thoughts he suggests in your mind.
He comes around and tells you that you will never get married. You look at yourself at over thirty years of age, and then you believe the fear. The moment you believe that fear and embrace it, then it actually becomes your experience!
What are you supposed to do?
You are supposed to reject it and refuse it!
Refuse to be entangled! Take a look at the scripture here:
“IN [ this ] freedom Christ has made us free [ and completely liberated us ]; stand fast then, and do not be hampered and held ensnared and submit again to a yoke of slavery [ which you have once put off ].” (Gal 5:1, AMP)
In practical terms, you refuse his fears by confessing what God says! That is why your inner man must be filled with God’s word constantly. The word of God that you read daily is not for fun, rather it will infuse strength into you such that when the devil ones with his attacks, God’s word, and Spirit will raise a standard against it.
As a single guy, I was harassed daily with the fear that I would never be able to father children.
Thank God for the little I knew then. I ran into God’s word and searched for what God said about childbirth. That is how to deal with fear!
The devil said something about fear. But what did God say? Whose reports will you believe?
So I saw a scripture and I wrote it out and I kept saying that, it must have been millions of times.
“Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table.” (Psa 128:3, KJV)
I said it so much until the fear was rendered null and void and I knew I would have children. I told my fiancee, then to keep confessing it without telling her why.
That is what God’s word does. It would fill you with hope and faith and when the devil comes with his fear, you will just laugh at his face!
God’s word works!
After the wedding, the first pregnancy we had actually went down in miscarriage and that fear returned. The devil told me, you see, it didn’t work! You are infertile and your wife is barren!
But I stood my ground! I went back into God’s word. I saw there that none shall be barren.
“there won’t be any miscarriages nor barren women in your land. I’ll make sure you live full and complete lives.” (Exo 23:26, MSG)
All the while, I never told my wife about the fear I had and constant fearful dreams about not having children. That fear persisted in my head, but I did not allow it to enter my heart.
Since it wasn’t in my heart, it couldn’t come out of my mouth, for out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
I refuse to verbalize it. When you say something, you empower that fear. Rather than speak the fear, speak the word.
I simply went back into God’s word. That word never fails. And it didn’t fail us. Today, we have three, and we could have had more if we wanted.
Whatever fear you have can be dealt with this way, God’s word in your heart and in your mouth! It works. This is How To Overcome Fear
This morning, I curse the spirit of fear in your life! I proclaim you free in Jesus’ name from every weapon of the evil one. God’s word over your life will stand and you will have victory in Jesus’ name.
Knowing The Lover Who Is Spiritual. This morning, we continue from where we left off yesterday. How do you know the lover who is spiritual and the one who is not?
3. Availability and willingness to serve
What about the brother or sister that is always there to serve? Morning, afternoon, and evening, he or she is always there serving. Well, the thing is that there is something called “eye service!”
So, this is ruled out as well.
This cannot be exclusively used as a parameter for spirituality.
4. Closeness to Pastor
Brother George is so close to Pastor, which means he is very spiritual! Well, you cannot use that alone as a yardstick as well. Some of the closest people to pastors can be worse than unbelievers in their dispositions. Remember Judas was close the Jesus. He was a trusted ally and he was the treasurer, but the guy kept stealing!
5. Insight and Revelations
What about a brother or sister that can share revelations and has a lot of insights into the scriptures? Yes, it can often determine how spiritual but not always. I have seen some deeply insightful preachers who are unrepentant adulterers! I have seen some very religious habitual sinners who will give you insight into why they can fornicate and still be anointed.
6. Gifted and Talented
What if somebody is talented and gifted? He must be spiritual, maybe that is why God gave him or her so many talents. Well, some of the most gifted people are also some of the most careless I have seen. Their gifts become a source of pride and they easily become cocky, and there is nothing spiritual in being proud.
7. Niceness
What about those who are very nice? Does it mean that they are spiritual? Well, I have seen some unbelievers that are really nice as well. And again, being nice is not a fruit of the Spirit!
We can go on and on, but then what is the way to know and recognize a spiritual person?
Here is the answer. It is only by their heart! You know a person by the kind of heart that person has!
Every good thing that a man does comes from the heart. Every bad thing that a woman does comes from her heart.
” A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh. ” (Luk 6:45, KJV)
Now, the challenge is that nobody can see a man’s heart! So what do you do? That is a huge dilemma, but there is a way out.
There are only two ways to know what is in a man’s heart.
1. Through God
Man looks outward, but God sees the heart. Go to God in prayer for who to get involved with
God can see the heart of everybody and anybody. He sees the future of the person. So when He leads you, He cannot lead you wrong. All the above qualities are good to watch out for, but ultimately, God’s direction is what you should follow.
It is only God that knows the one that seems spiritual but is as carnal as anybody can be. It is also God that knows the one that is seemingly carnal but will end up becoming a man of God or woman of God. Let God lead you.
2. Through words
The other way to know what is in the heart of man is what you see in the above verse: out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
Watch his or her words, those are exact pictures of what lies within. His words will betray him.
He or she might say he is joking, but the scripture warns about coarse joking.
For married couples, there are a few things you can do together that will help you grow more spiritually. Attend the same church regularly. Pray together. Share scriptures with each other. Exchange books and discuss them. Have a common mentor you see regularly.
How To Know The Spiritual Lover. This has been a pertinent and persistent question in the heart of many singles. How do you know a spiritual brother or sister?
In the multitudes of the people that attend a church, in their thousands, how do you know who is spiritual and who is right for you?
You’ll get to see different kinds of people in the church, the short, the tall, the dark-complexioned, the light-complexioned, the fat, the slim, the not too fat and not too slim, the quiet and the loud, and so on and so forth.
How do you choose?
How To Know The Spiritual Lover
1. Actions
Can you really get to know a spiritual person by his actions? He is always acting great and gentlemanly.
The problem here is that people can pretend. A lot of people can act and be dramatic to get what they want. So, actions are ruled out! You can’t really conclude about a person based on his actions alone. I have had a lot of young girls call me in regret that their husbands pretended during courtship but are now showing true colours. In effect, a lover can hide true colour with fake colour. It’s simple colour mixing!
How To Know The Spiritual Lover
2. Tongues
What about tongues? The other time, brother Zerubbabel ended his relationship with Sister Sube because Sister Sube’s tongues was always sounding like “Sandal” After waiting for Sister Sube’s tongue to improve for three months but without any noticeable change, he ended the relationship. His thought was that if she was at “Sandal, Sandal…” for months, when will she get to “Shoes!”
But the reality is that you cannot judge spirituality by how a tongue sounds. He that prays in an unknown tongue prays unto God, not unto you. He prays mysteries to God, not to please you. The tongue may sound like a monosyllable for years, but that does not make the person less spiritual than the person whose tongue sounds like a combination of German, Chinese, and Yoruba!
Many people “lose” their tongues quickly when they are faced with pressures. That is when you get to know who is really spiritual.
The one whose tongue is filled with rich vowels and doesn’t know how to cook or be courteous is carnal. Not spiritual at all.
After marriage, you will discover you are not as interested in tongues as you are in having a good spouse, a responsible husband, and a homely wife.
What is the purpose of a wife who speaks in tongues but is denying her husband sex all the time? Nothing spiritual about that!
What is the purpose of a husband who dutifully goes through morning devotion but will do afternoon chatting with different girls?
What is the purpose of being naked before God in prayer but also sending nudes to men?
How To Know The Spiritual Lover goes beyond listening to his or her tongues!
Stop listening to how tongues sound to deduce how spiritual a person is!
I will stop here this morning and continue tomorrow!
When You Hate The One You Love. It sounds like a contradiction, but in no way establishes its dubiety. It is not healthy, but it happens. Nobody wants it, but you sometimes find yourself at loggerheads and you yield to your flesh and just want to stay angry, bitter, and in strife, always to one’s detriment though.
The implications are rife. It doesn’t matter if it is between two people in courtship or between a married couple. The spiritual implications are weighty and are the same.
What could lead to times When You Hate The One You Love? Anything could have happened. Differences in temperament, upbringing, culture, environment, spiritual maturity, and exposure can often contribute to anger tantrums and quarrel spots.
However as a child of God, you cannot yield to the flesh all the time, or else a lot of things would be grounded in your life.
As a matter of fact, the scripture aptly says that your prayer can run aground with strife and bitterness.
“For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.” (Jas 3:16, KJV)
A relationship or marriage that will succeed has to be devoid of strife.
When you make a decision to stay off strife as a single or married, you are actually bringing honour into your life. Take a look at the scripture:
” It is an honour for a man to cease from strife: but every fool will be meddling.” (Pro 20:3, KJV)
What leads to strife? When You Hate The One You Love.
Anger, quarrels, hurt, bitterness, unforgiving attitudes, and the like.
But Pastor, must I sweep things under the carpet just to avoid strife?
No!
So, what do you do?
Confront issues, but forgive quickly!
It is interesting, but really, we get hurt the most by the ones we love the most! We find ourselves momentarily hating the one we love.
Why is that?
The reason is obvious. With love comes trust. But when that trust is ruptured, the heart is punctured and the wound can be so deep because trust has been violated. The wound can be so deep that no balm can heal, but thank God there is a balm in Gilead!
Now, you need to analyze issues.
The event that led to mistrust, was it a genuine mistake or a deliberate habit being used to manipulate and toy with your emotions?
If an action is habitual, while you are the victim all the time and you are still single, the idea is not to keep forgiving and stay there until your esteem is completely plundered and your dignity is trampled. Sometimes, the way out of such strife as singles is to forgive the person and then end such relationships, because the person in view is far from repentance. The stark reality is that you can’t change anybody!
When they got in strife with Isaac over the well he dug, what did he do? He left them and moved on and eventually dug another well where there were no contentions.
“And Isaac’s servants digged in the valley, and found there a well of springing water. And the herdmen of Gerar did strive with Isaac’s herdmen, saying, The water is ours: and he called the name of the well Esek; because they strove with him. And they digged another well, and strove for that also: and he called the name of it Sitnah. And he removed from thence, and digged another well; and for that they strove not: and he called the name of it Rehoboth; and he said, For now the LORD hath made room for us, and we shall be fruitful in the land.” (Gen 26:19-22, KJV)
It is only in marriage that you cannot just wake up and walk out of your matrimonial home over trivial issues. You are to stay there and fight for your marriage unless your life is threatened and you are no longer safe.
As singles, we must also know that the incessant strife and quarrels would be a result of either two things:
You are out of God’s will, so things are not working
You are in God’s will, so the devil is contending your togetherness.
The best thing to do in such scenarios is to go and pray and find out from God exactly what to do. This will then help you to pray and make your decisions.
As married couples, get your mentor or pastor involved, in prolonged anger and strife, sometimes what has been a persistent source of bickering in your home is just a statement away from its solution when you ask people ahead of you. This is what to do When You Hate The One You Love.
I pray for you this morning, may every storm in your relationship, marriage, and life be stilled in Jesus’ name!
Finish The Doubts! So how will Sally avoid doubts? How will she minimize doubts? This is our subject for discourse today as we continue from where we stopped yesterday.
Finish The Doubts!
1. The first thing to note is that you should never take a step until you are sure of God’s plan! That way, you are rock solid when doubt surfaces because you already know what you are doing. Let doubts come from a thousand ends, you remain steadfast because you already heard God and His word that you heard would stabilize you and become an anchor to your soul.
2. Don’t fall in love anyhow. Fall in love with common sense and with your eyes open.
3. Do not despise the wisdom of authority figures in your life. They may not always be right, but God can often use their voice to speak to you and keep you from making costly mistakes.
4. Read God’s word regularly. That is what will stabilize your soul. Pray as well and speak in tongues a lot.
What do you do if you are already in doubt?
1. Take time to go back to God in prayers and listen to Him talk to you again.
2. Fast if necessary and spend time in God’s presence until you hear Him
3. Clean up your life from all forms of sexual compromises. Pre-marital and other sexual sins will usually bring confusion and with confusion, there will be huge kettles of doubt in your mind.
4. If you are married and doubt keeps coming, the solution is not to walk out of your marriage. Instead, stay with your spouse and refuse to entertain doubts. Go to God in prayers and renew your covenant with God. See doubt as an attempt from the devil to render your prayers ineffective, so guard against it. Finish The Doubts!
Lastly, how can one be sure that a decision is of God?
The acid test is what is called “peace”
Take a look at this scripture:
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7 KJV)
Amplified Version: “And God’s peace [ shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace ] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (Php 4:7, AMP)
Did you see that? This peace that comes as an assurance of God’s voice concerning a decision will become like an army officer to your soul, It will mount guard and disallow any doubt from accessing your mind. Glory to God!
My prayer for you this morning is that you will indeed hear God. I speak against every confusion in your life, no more in Jesus’ name! I come against every plan of the devil, every intent of hell, every strategy of the evil one, no more in your life in Jesus’ name! Finish The Doubts!
I speak peace to every storm in marriages, and I pray for God’s divine intervention in Jesus’ name!
