Why Your Lover or Spouse Is Not Talking. The Johnsons are here again. The once vivacious, excited, laughing-out-loud Mrs. Johnson has become a shadow of her herself. She is completely withdrawn into her shell and then sealed the shell with super glue. Her husband couldn’t reach her again. She is not just distant, she is unreachable, akin to the annoying response from mobile phones which says “this number is unreachable!”
Sally on the other hand who is engaged to George is completely frustrated with the new leaf her fiancee has turned. He just won’t talk and comes across as stiff as a board most times.
Why do our lovers and spouses press the mute button? Why do our lovers who were once “always on” hibernate to the inner recesses of their minds where their emotions are iced and the romance’ nervous system shuts down indefinitely?
This is what we will look at today and maybe next few days. I will attempt to give us five reasons why this may be so.
Why Your Lover or Spouse Is Not Talking
They are not hearing anything
When your spouse is hearing nothing, they say nothing!
Take a look at the Scripture we’ve been looking at the past few days.
Mar 9:17 (KJV) And one of the multitude answered and said, Master, I have brought unto thee my son, which hath a DUMB SPIRIT;
When they brought the boy to Jesus, they complained about a dumb spirit. This means he can’t talk. But why couldn’t he talk?
When Jesus would cast out the spirit, he mentioned something more!
Mar 9:25 (KJV) When Jesus saw that the people came running together, he rebuked the foul spirit, saying unto him, THOU DUMB AND DEAF SPIRIT, I charge thee, come out of him, and enter no more into him.
When they complained to Jesus, they said he had a dumb spirit. When Jesus would cast out the spirit, he said “dumb and deaf spirit!”
In other words, the reason he was dumb and won’t speak is that he was deaf!
He wasn’t hearing anything, and so he wasn’t saying anything!
Have you ever spoken for two hours to your spouse and then your wonderful lover replies with “Ok!” What? The reality is that they might not have heard anything!
Psa 19:2 (AMPC) Day after day pours forth speech, and night after night shows forth knowledge.
Speech comes because something has been heard or shown!
As couples, when your spouse who talks before now hardly talks, this could be why?
Are you sure you are really communicating? Why Your Lover or Spouse Is Not Talking
Stop nagging, ranting, lecturing, sermonizing, and screaming, at your lover or spouse! Those utterances are doing more damage than good.
Seek to make your spouse understand lovingly rather than just talk! Your goal should not be to just talk and spill out, but to be understood!
Henceforth, one of the things you should do is to lovingly ask your spouse to talk back to you based on what you have just said. If they are able to, they have listened. If they are unable, then you have not communicated yet! Rather than get angry at that, seek to be understood!
May God grant you more wisdom. We continue tomorrow. See REVIVE Day 14 below and use it to pray for your relationship and marriage!
Foaming, Grinding, Or Stiff As A Board? Mr. Johnson would get the award of “most ranting husband” effortlessly, and uncontested. His wife would get a prize too. “Most withdrawn wife” The anomaly in their marriage is too pronounced. Mr. Johnson thinks he is an expert in communication because he talks! Sadly, communication is not “just talking!” Mrs. Johnson believes she is the most submissive wife because she hardly talks, but sadly too, her withdrawal into her shell is a form of rebellion, not loud but stubborn!
Their marriage is at crossroads, things are falling apart and the center refused to hold.
The event we started looking at yesterday illustrates the situation in many marriages and relationships!
Mar 9:17-18 (MSG) [17] A man out of the crowd answered, “Teacher, I brought my mute son, MADE SPEECHLESS by a demon, to you. [18] Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He FOAMS AT the mouth, GRINDS HIS TEETH, and goes STIFF AS A BOARD. I told your disciples, hoping they could deliver him, but they couldn’t.”
There are relationships that are speechless, but sexual!
There are marriages that are speechless, and survive on sign languages of irritation, frowns, and so on.
There are marriages rather than bringing forth speech, what is coming out are foams.
There are marriages where rather than communicating, it’s just grinding of teeth.
There are relationships and marriages where the individuals are stiff as a board where commutation is concerned.
Foaming, Grinding, Or Stiff As A Board?
Rantings, complaining, murmuring, and internalizing are all anomalies that can be referred to as foaming, grinding of teeth, and going stiff as a board.
Now you can’t go to your loved one and say “You see, you’ve been foaming or you’ve been grinding your teeth” That will be counter-productive.
However, these actions are what the devil uses to replace actual healthy communication!
Remember what I told you before? True communication involves the 7-38-55 rule. The rule states that 7 percent of meaning is communicated through spoken word, 38 percent through tone of voice, and 55 percent through body language.
So, remember when the tone is wrong, and the body language is wrong too, the remaining thing which is words is just 7% of the whole deal. That is why many words spoken in anger, and without love end up ineffective because they are akin to foaming and grinding of teeth and which elicit a stiff-like-a-board response!
Foaming, Grinding, Or Stiff As A Board?
I pray for your relationship /marriage that every communication anomaly is removed in Jesus’ name! Use the video for REVIVE Day 14 and use it to pray!
Confronting The Deaf and Dump Spirit in Relationships and Marriage. Sally is engaged to George. They are so much in love or so they thought! They are planning to get married soon, however, Sally began to notice that George hardly wants to talk. She did all the talking on the phone while George simply listens. Sally was happy because she felt she was getting married to a perfect gentleman and would easily have her ways and excesses sponsored without much drama!
Eventually, they got married and discovered that the package is a two-edged sword. George does not talk much and also would not listen! He does what he wants to do, and his stubbornness has no second part!
Sally became both the talker and the listener and she eventually became frustrated!
The reality is that relationship can go on a little bit without communication but marriage cannot survive without good communication!
Confronting The Deaf and Dump Spirit
I call the cause of this anomaly in relationships and marriage, a deaf and dumb spirit. Pastor! Which one is this again?
Sometimes, the husband takes the deaf part while the wife takes the dump part, or one spouse takes both. Whichever way, the end result is mega frustration and can truncate a good love story.
Take a look at the scripture:
Mar 9:20, 25 (AMPC) [20] So they brought [the boy] to Him, and when the spirit saw Him, at once it completely convulsed the boy, and he FELL TO THE GROUND and kept rolling about, foaming [at the mouth].
The goal of the spirit is to keep your relationship or marriage to the ground! Your marriage will not be grounded in Jesus’ name!
Jesus has to address that spirit directly!
[25] But when Jesus noticed that a crowd [of people] came running together, He rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, YOU DUMB AND DEAF SPIRIT, I charge you to come out of him and never go into him again.
Here Jesus addressed the spirit as dump and deaf spirit.
Confronting The Deaf and Dump Spirit
I am not saying your spouse is demonized if he or she is quiet or does not talk, but I am showing how this spirit can operate in a relationship or marriage!
Your lover hardly talks.
Your spouse never listens.
Your spouse hardly talks.
Sometimes, we blame this on temperaments!
But you know what, when you are in love, you talk!
When the marriage has near zero communication, that marriage is dying!
Refuse the operations of that spirit in your relationship and marriage and startConfronting The Deaf and Dump Spirit!
Be friends with each other. Talk about everything and anything! The moment you internalize and keep secrets, you open the door. So talk and talk! Be your spouse’s fan and keep talking!
There are many aspects to this, and I will continue tomorrow. Use Prayers on this topic on REVIVE Day 12 which you can find below!
I See Rain For Singles and Couples In 2023. As I waited on the Lord for what this new year pretends, all I saw was rain! Wow! The heat of life will not burn you! As others suffer from heat, you will remain refreshed in Jesus’ name! It’s our year of refreshing and divine outpouring!
This is the first day of the year! Go ahead and confess these words in relation to there word God has given us this year!
According to God’s Word that says:
Deu 28:12 (MSG) GOD will throw open the doors of his sky vaults and pour rain on your land on schedule and bless the work you take in hand. You will lend to many nations but you yourself won’t have to take out a loan.
I declare in the name of Jesus, The Lord is opening unto me, in these days of waiting on Him and thereafter, His good treasure, the doors of God’s sky vault are thrown open on me to pour rain upon me on schedule and to bless the works of my hands. I will lend to many nations and I won’t have to take a loan for anything. I will not lack because God is my sufficiency! I See Rain For Singles and Couples In 2023
According to God’s Word that says:
1Ki 17:14 (MSG)
This is the word of the GOD of Israel: ‘The jar of flour will not run out and the bottle of oil will not become empty before GOD sends rain on the land and ends this drought.'”
I declare in the name of Jesus,
This is the word of the Lord unto me, My jar of flour will not run out. I will not draw a blank. I will not be stranded. I will not be ashamed. My bottle of oil will not become empty. There is rain on my land. God sends rain on my land. There is money in my Bank account.
In this time of waiting on God, I am drenched with God’s rain and blessings. Every part of me is partaking of it.
According to God’s word in
Job 5:10 (MSG)
He gives rain, for instance, across the wide earth, sends water to irrigate the fields.
I declare in the name of Jesus, God gives me rain across every part of my life, He sends water to irrigate my fields and I am nurtured and growing in every area of my life.
My relationship or marriage is irrigated with God’s rain! I See Rain For Singles and Couples In 2023
According to God’s word that says:
Isa 30:23 (MSG) God will provide rain for the seeds you sow. The grain that grows will be abundant. Your cattle will range far and wide.
I declare in the name of Jesus, there is rain upon my seeds sown. The grain that grows in my life will be abundant. My business and the works of my hands are multiplied and extended to nations. I range far and wide in my career in the name of Jesus!
According to God’s word in
Eze 34:26 (MSG)
I’ll make them and everything around my hill a blessing. I’ll send down plenty of rain in season—showers of blessing!
I declare in the name of Jesus, everything around me and mine are blessings! God is sending down plenty of rain in this season of waiting! There are showers of blessings upon me in the name of Jesus.
Listen to me, the devil has lost over your life this time around. You will have the victory. The heavens are open over you. I See Rain For Singles and Couples In 2023
We are in agreement with you, we are standing with you and interceding for you, God’s word will prosper over your life. You will not miss out on God’s goodness. You will not be ashamed. You will not be disgraced.
Heavens will stand for you, God will honour you and His name will be glorified in your life. This year will be beautiful for you!
Today, being the last day of the year is significant!
Like they often say, he that is not grateful is a great fool! I want to quickly show you just one reason out of many why you should be grateful today!
You are alive!
Psa 150:6 (MKJV) Let everything that breathes praise Jehovah. Praise Jehovah!
Regardless of what your experiences have been, you are still alive! If there is life, there is hope and there is a way!
Do not hold back in thanking God today! You Should Be Grateful Today!
Oh, I don’t even know how to give thanks! Let me give you an example!
Rev 5:13 (MKJV) And I heard every creature which is in the Heaven and on the earth, and under the earth, and those that are in the sea, and all who are in them, saying, Blessing and honor and glory and power be to Him sitting on the throne, and to the Lamb forever and ever.
Say “Blessing and honor and glory and power be unto you, O Lord! Then begin to reel out all He has been to you this year! Verbalize your gratefulness to Him and let Him hear your good words.
Oh, maybe you forgot, a lot of people have been laid aside this year! A lot of people have been buried and probably forgotten! You Should Be Grateful Today!
But Pastor, I could not realize all my dreams this year! Oh, is it just about “realizing?” Are you aware that for some, the dreams and the dreamer went six feet below, buried, and never to show up again on this side of the world?
Isa 38:18 (MSG) The dead don’t thank you, and choirs don’t sing praises from the morgue. Those buried six feet under don’t witness to your faithful ways.
You Should Be Grateful Today! Thank Him throughout today! Refuse to complain. Decide to end this year on a good note and give all the glory to God throughout today! Enter the new year with gratefulness to God because He”s got your back!
