How To Stop Negative Thoughts. How do you stop negative thoughts from ruining your relationship or marriage as single or married? Too many a relationship and marriages have been ruined by the kinds of thoughts that were entertained.
Thoughts are so powerful that they will eventually overwhelm your life and give your life direction.
Thoughts can be so healthy that they would drive sicknesses away. Thoughts can be so sickening to the point of physical paralysis.
How do you convince a man or woman to become a suicide bomber? They simply work on the thought realm. Once the person embraces the proposition in the thought realm, the rest is easy.
Why would a man jump into a river, commit suicide, and end it all? He has first done so in the thought realm, he only acted out what he had done.
Such is the power of your mind.
No wonder, the method through which God will change you daily into becoming who He wants you to be is through the renewal of your mind.
“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” (Rom 12:2, KJV)
Transformation comes as a child of God as you read, study, and meditate on God’s word.
In the same way, the method that the devil would use if he wants to ruin a relationship or marriage is through thoughts. Precisely, negative thoughts and lies!
All the quarrels in a relationship and marriage first of all start in your thoughts. When you are negative-minded and full of doubts and mistrust, the relationship or marriage in question will be shaky.
When you are negative-minded, you will misinterpret every effort of your spouse. You will suspect every move and you will not give your spouse breathing space.
The next question is how do you stop negative thoughts?
Let’s take a look at the process.
“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;” (2Co 10:3-5, KJV)
1. “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh Negative thoughts are not just about temperaments. It is beyond that. Never ever say something like, “that is how I am, I always think negatively.” You must wake up to the reality that the spirit realm exists and negative forces would often try to influence your thinking culture.
2. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds. We cannot solve the problems of negative thoughts by some psychology or some set of therapies alone, we have to look up to God and make use of the weapons of our warfare. This is because you are dealing with strongholds in the mind. What are the weapons of our warfare? God’s word, praying in the spirit, the blood of Jesus, and so on.
3. Casting down imaginations Negative imaginations will come. Negative suggestions will come, but we must cast them down.
These negative thoughts seek to ride you over, they want to get on top of your thought center, but what does the scripture say? You cast them down!
You deliberately refuse these lies of the devil that he is trying to suggest to your mind. You say with your mouth, “you negative thought, I cast you down in Jesus’ name!
It is not a once and for all exercise, because the devil will not relent in bringing those thoughts. So you keep at it. That is why it says, “Casting…”
4. And every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God That is how you identify negative thoughts. Those thoughts try to exalt themselves against the knowledge of God’s word. They will challenge the truth of God’s word. For example, a thought that comes that, “There is nothing wrong in having pre-marital sex, everybody does it,” is trying to exalt itself against the knowledge of God’s word. You cast it down!
5. And bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ Every thought that comes, you bring into captivity. How do you do that? It means to arrest. You arrest every thought and put it captive under God’s word. You use the word of God to judge it. The word will either condemn such words and sentence them into oblivion or acquit such thought as healthy.
Before you act out any thought. arrest it and bring it captive with God’s word. That way, you will deal with negative thoughts and dwell more on God’s word which will advance your relationship, marriage, and life.
I pray for you this morning, every power of negative thoughts in your life is hereby crushed in Jesus’ name.
All Things Will Be Well. A lady sat before me some three years ago. She told me how nobody ever asks her out. She is worried and thinks there is a curse somewhere. She felt it is abnormal that nobody ever asks her out. I looked at her and told her there was no curse anywhere. I further told her that she would marry a Pastor! She laughed in disbelief. Well today, she is married to a Pastor and with a baby as well.
Pastor, I don’t know what is going on in my life. I don’t understand again. Nothing seems to be working! You know what? God said I should tell you this morning, All things will be well!
2Ki 4:26 (KJV) Run now, I pray thee, to meet her, and say unto her, Is it well with thee? is it well with thy husband? is it well with the child? And she answered, It is well.
Learn to declare it is well regardless of what you are going through! All Things Will Be Well.
Psa 107:1-2 (KJV) O give thanks unto the LORD, for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever. [2] Let the redeemed of the LORD say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy;
You’ve got to keep declaring that all is well. Let the redeemed of the Lord say so! You will eventually have what you say!
Never give in to negative words! Your words are powerful! Where you are today is a snapshot of your words and thoughts in the past!
Declare words into your future. Declare words into your relationship, wedding day, and or marriage!
Declare words over your spouse and children!
Declare words concerning the fruit of the womb and never give in to depression or despondency!
As you do so, you will see the travail of your hearts! I pray for you this morning, God will honor your words in Jesus’ name! All Things Will Be Well.
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Who’s The Lover God Wants For Me? The referee wields a lot of power in the football game. He is the arbitrator and he decides what is clearly a goal or what is a foul.
In life and marriage, there are goals and there are fouls.
When you play to the rule of the game, you will score and your courtship or relationship will lead to marriage.
But when you contravene the rules of the game, it becomes a foul, and the game is affected.
In relationships, there are things God wants and there are things He doesn’t want. They are all clearly spelled out in the scriptures.
Pre-marital sex for example is a foul in the game. It affects the game, really. You lose God’s favour and support when you do what you are not supposed to do. One will just be dribbling up and down with no goal to show for it.
In marriage, being unfaithful to your spouse for whatever reason is a foul. It will tamper with the marital covenant and the consequences are rife.
Thank God because He is a forgiving God and He will forgive and forget when you repent genuinely.
The Bible talks about umpire or referee. Take a look.
“And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [ deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state ] to which as [ members of Christ’s ] one body you were also called [ to live ]. And be thankful (appreciative), [ giving praise to God always ].” (Col 3:15, AMP)
Who’s The Lover God Wants For Me? Do you have questions arising about who to marry? Are you unsure whether he is the one or whether she is the right person?
Do you have anxieties about what to do as a married man or woman or what career path to follow?
The scripture says that there is something that can settle with all finality and tell you exactly what to do.
This is what is called the peace of God.
The presence of this peace tells you that you are taking the right decision.
The absence of this peace tells you that you are about taking a wrong decision or you are already in the wrong decision.
Who’s The Lover God Wants For Me? What are the feelings you have when there is peace of God about a decision?
1. You will have a feeling of “all is well.” 2. You will have a deep sense of wholeness and assurance that God is with you. 3. You will have an unexplainable calmness that you are taking the right decision
Why do I say unexplainable?
Here it is:
“And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” (Php 4:7, KJV)
It passes all understanding. It cannot be logically decoded, in fact, it oftentimes defies logic.
It may be difficult to explain, but you will know it is there.
That is what happens when you don’t like the financial status of a loved one, yet you feel the peace of God that all will be well.
Who’s The Lover God Wants For Me? The next question is what feelings do you have when the peace of God is not there?
1. You will have a feeling of “all is not well.” 2. You will have a red card issued in your heart just like the referee issues a red card in a match. 3. You will have unexplainable fear about your decision. 4. Each time you think about the decision, you will have an uneasy feeling.
This is like the feeling you have when all seems set in terms of finances, and the job security of the person you are considering, and yet, this fear that something is wrong deep in your belly exists.
Never ever ignore this feeling. Never ignore the referee!
You see, as a child of God, He doesn’t want evil to befall you, so He will warn you before taking a decision that would not end well.
The peace of God within you shows you His will for you. He leads you into His will by His peace.
What happens when you can’t sense anything or when emotions have taken over and you cannot hear God?
You will need to separate yourself in the place of prayer with fasting and then, you will surely hear God. You will also need to fill yourself with God’s word regularly.
If you are already married, and you feel you are outside of God’s will, the immediate thing to do is not to walk away from your marriage but to commit it into God’s hands for His intervention.
Trust me, God answers prayers, when you believe.
I pray that God will give us more understanding on this subject. Who’s The Lover God Wants For Me?
God’s Leading And Who To Marry. Sally wanted what would prevent her from falling in love with the wrong person and wasting her time on what is not going to work. She wanted to save her emotions from roller-coaster rides that lead nowhere. She doesn’t want to spend so much time and resources with George for years and then discovers she’s been hobnobbing with the wrong person.
Note that the wrong guy or lady is not always a bad person. Someone can be so cool, gentle, born again and spirit filled and yet not meant for you. Mr. Good is not always Mr.Right, but Mr. Bad would never be Mr.Right.
So, the question of praying over an unbeliever is out of it, the scripture is clear on that.
Why should I expect to be led before deciding on my choice of who to marry? God’s Leading And Who To Marry
He promised to lead us!
For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. (Romans 8:14 KJV)
You know you are a son or a daughter of God because you are led.
You know you have a relationship with God when He leads you.
The next question is how does God lead?
If I can know how God leads, then I will be able to follow Him. Wouldn’t it be nice to know the wrong man or the wrong lady right away?
What is God’s leading as it relates to relationships and marriage?
God can lead you into a relationship without hearing a single voice or seeing any vision!
The way you will be led is the same way you know you are a child of God!
How are you sure you are born again? How do you know Jesus Christ really came and died for you? How do you know there is a heaven and God is there and Jesus is seated with Him? Have you been there? Did you see Him? You didn’t see Him and meet Him one on one! But the reality of His existence is so deep within you that nobody can talk you out of it. How did you become so sure? It is so simple. The Spirit of God bears witness with your spirit that there is God. It is what is referred to as an inner witness.
Because you simply know within yourself that God is. You may not be able to prove it, but you just know in your ‘knower’ that God exists. You know in your ‘knower’ that Jesus died for your sins. You were not there in Golgotha with him physically, but you just know it happened deep within you.
That is what is referred to as an ‘Inner witness.’
It is an unexplainable knowing, a deep-seated assurance that resides within you!
Don’t let the devil come to you and tell you that the reason you have a troubled marriage is that you didn’t have any dreams or hear a voice!
Even if you have a hundred dreams, you are not supposed to take an action without that inner witness and God’s leading! You see, the devil can manipulate your dreams if you are not grounded, but He cannot manipulate your inner witness. It is either you have peace or you don’t have it about a decision.
This peace of God is what you have when you are being led by God and it is His will on a particular decision. When this peace is not there, then God is not leading you!
This is why it is important to seek God’s leading about a guy or lady before emotions get involved. God’s Leading And Who To Marry
See it described in the scripture
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7 KJV)
I like it, particularly in the Amplified version
And God’s peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Did you see that? That peace of God, that transcends every understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds. Garrison! Mount guard! Those are military terms. That is exactly what happens when you allow the peace of God and you are led by Him. His leading is a like a soldier protecting you. Do you know why? God will never lead you wrong! Glory to God! He will not lead you into misery! Thank God for His leadership.
Let’s see one more scripture that describes this peace as I round up.
“And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [ deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state ] to which as [ members of Christ’s ] one body you were also called [ to live ]. And be thankful (appreciative), [ giving praise to God always ].” (Col 3:15, AMP)
Did you see that? That peace acts as an umpire or a referee in your heart and decides or settles with all finality every question by reason of that peaceful state!
When peace is not there, and you have unexplainable fear, and red light in your heart, you should not go ahead even when everything looks perfect physically!
When everything looks like somehow in the physical, and yet you have peace, you have this feeling that all is well, that you are in His plan, that is a green light that God is leading you.
What if your emotions are already involved and you are unsure? Press the Pause button! Go into the place of prayer, fast, and pray in the spirit for a long time until your spirit can push emotions down and then pick a signal from God on what to do!
God is the one that can re-order our steps when we have made mistakes; He is the one that will lead us into our wealthy place. Stay with God and you will never regret it. Don’t be led by your feelings which can be fickle, be led by the Holy Spirit, and you will be protected! God’s Leading And Who To Marry
Should I Trust my Dreams? What do you do when you have dreams? Are dreams authentic enough to be acted upon?
I remember as a young man in my teen years, I was harassed with so many dreams. I was born again, but I didn’t know my rights. I would dream and find myself eating in dreams. I didn’t know whether it was negative or positive, but I was not fond of it at all.
I approached my pastors for help. They would pray but it continued. I met another pastor who said that I should forget about it and that maybe I didn’t eat well before I slept.
Another said if I take any deadly thing, it would not hurt me.
I believe all that, but I didn’t like that feeling. Should I Trust my Dreams?
One day, I got angry. I would have none of this again. I was a meeting as a University student. The Secretary General of the fellowship then (OVCF) was ministering in the person of Barrister Asorona Lawal.
Under a heavy anointing and word of knowledge, he called me out and said that oppression is over, waving his handkerchief at me.
And indeed, it was over. I use to read Psalm 91 every night then.
All those useless dreams stopped, in their place and I started dreaming about my future, about ministry, and about good things.
The reality was that I had a gift to dream. It is not one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit, but you see it is a vehicle for the gift of the Spirit. For example, a word of knowledge can come through the vehicle of a dream.
I continued to dream, but these were now revelatory dreams. I knew so much through dreams and visions of the night.
In my final years in the university, I had over a hundred dreams of seeing myself ministering in meetings, healing meetings, churches, crusades, and all that. That God was calling me was not in doubt.
Before I proposed to my wife, I dreamt about her over fifty times in a period of over a year in different ways that I was convinced she was the one meant for me.
I had dreams and revelations about anything and everything. I would see myself holding my meetings before the meeting and everything that would happen would have been acted out.
I had dreams about my siblings who wanted to take the wrong steps in marriage. I saw people before I met them.
Then there were times I would have dreams, that practically had no meaning.
I told you all that to let you know that dreams can come from three sources:
1. From God
2. From the devil
3. From you (from a multitude of thoughts)
Gen 37:9 (KJV) And he dreamed yet another dream…
Should I Trust my Dreams? God can reveal His heart to you concerning relationships and marriage, but you cannot rely on your dreams alone!
The primary way that God will lead you is through inner witness.
God can also warn you about taking the wrong step in relationships and marriage in dreams.
But listen to this. You cannot trust all your dreams when you are not filled with God’s word and God’s Spirit.
It is God’s word that can cleanse your dream life. If you are not grounded in the word, the devil will exploit that gift and send conflicting messages to get you confused.
That is why an unbeliever can often have revelatory dreams, but his dream life will be convoluted, with confusing signals because the God factor is missing in his life.
The baseline is this, whatever gift you have, you must stay and live in God’s word consistently to keep that gift untainted.
You cannot build your ministry, life, relationship, or marriage around a gift alone. You cannot go ahead and ask a lady out because of one dream.
Let the word of God stabilize your dream life.
And if you don’t dream at all, you are not less spiritual. You only need to discover the pattern through which God speaks to you and learn to rely more on the inner witness.
God doesn’t love those that dream more than those who don’t dream. God is not partial. Everybody can access God’s plan and heart through the Spirit of God and through that inner witness.
Let me conclude with this:
Never take a consequential decision because of just one dream. Always pray in the spirit about any dream and for God to tell you the full import of those dreams that can often come in symbols, puzzles, and parables.
I pray that God will grant you more understanding.
