The Hidden Benefits of Affection. The word “affection” naturally comes across as something tender, desirable, and with an air of fondness. I remember back then in high school when you use the word “affectionate” for a girl, you really love that girl.
You can’t be in love with someone without being affectionate, but you can be affectionate without being in love!
We have been looking at ten qualities that all singles and couples will need in their relationship or marriage!
Trust
Communication
Respect
Love
Affection
Honesty
Understanding
Cooperation
Commitment
Fun
Today we are looking at the next one which is “Affection!” The Hidden Benefits of Affection
Before I go on, a quick announcement. Today is that exciting weekly meeting for singles and married on WhatsApp!
Below are details of the meeting, kindly help us send fliers and community links to as many as you can so we can reach more people! Last week, was such a blessing from the feedback we got! And guess what? I will personally be taking both singles and couples’ sessions respectively. Below the page, you will see a youtube link to last week’s edition.
Find details and materials below:
SINGLES HUB
Topic: Let’s Talk About Sex Venue: WhatsApp Singles Hub Time: 7.00pm Community link:http://bit.ly/3VSuXpY Right Click on the Image to download and spread the word.
COUPLES HUB
Topic: Sex in Marriage: Learning from the Prostitutes Venue: WhatsApp Couples’ Hub Time: 9.00pm Community link:http://bit.ly/3VSuXpY Right Click on the Image to download and spread the word.
Back to our devotional. The Hidden Benefits of Affection
We looked at love yesterday. Is there a difference? Yes, there is. Love is very deep and it’s a commitment. Love is at the very foundation of any successful relationship and marriage.
However, affection can be described as love displayed. Affection is the resulting feeling arising from love.
For example, you should not fall in love with a same-sex, as you fall in love with your spouse, but it is possible to have affection towards the same sex. You can also have affection for siblings and parents. See an example
2Pe 1:7 (AMPC) And in [exercising] godliness [develop] brotherly affection, and in [exercising] brotherly affection [develop] Christian love.
Now bringing this into our relationship and marriage, we are supposed to have affection for our fiancé or spouse!
Affection will help you demonstrate your love to your loved one.
Affection is a gentle feeling of fondness and likeness, caring and kindness towards your spouse.
So, notice here that affection is a behavioral display.
For example, a parent disciplining his child is showing love, even though the child can’t see any love because he doesn’t understand. It is called tough love. However, in other, for this discipline or reprimand to be effective, affection must be displayed in the midst of that tough love.
This is what couples have to understand.
I learned this too. There must be a melange of affection and tough love before correction can be effective.
Start showing affection by fondness, playing, gisting, talking, touching, hugging at every opportunity, smiling, and whatever you can do!
Affection is needed to keep the fire burning! These are some of The Hidden Benefits of Affection
Start today by asking your loved one to list five ways they want affection shown to them. Use REVIVE prayers below to pray Affection into your marriage.
Am I In Love Or Not? Love is so powerful in its attributes, sacrifice, indescribable kindness, and benevolence that God adopted it as His nomenclature.
There are different kinds of love, Eros, Philos, and Agape. Agape is the unconditional love upon which marriage is based. Only this unconditional love can guarantee a marriage that will last. In another way, you can also say there is lust, passion, and commitment.
Why is agape or unconditional love the ultimate? It is so simple, the frailty of man will ensure that your partner will often offend you or step on your toes, sometimes deliberately, sometimes ignorantly and sometimes to prove a point. It takes Agape to keep forgiving.
We started looking at ten qualities that should be in every relationship some days back.
1. Trust 2. Communication 3. Respect 4. Love 5. Affection 6. Honesty 7. Understanding 8. Cooperation 9. Commitment 10. Fun
Today, we continue with the next which is Love
Am I In Love Or Not? How do you even love?
I will attempt, in an inexhaustive way to highlight some qualities that show love and that do not show love. This will go for singles and married except in a few cases, which will be noted.
Am I In Love Or Not?
Pray for each other
Do you pray for that loved one? Do you pray rather than condemn? Your deep-seated love will often be expressed in committing that loved one regularly to God. You become each other’s intercessor and genuinely watch out for one another. When you forget to pray or you don’t even pray for your loved one, that love needs “servicing!”
Am I In Love Or Not?
Pay for each other
Love gives! The one you love is really the one you want to spend for, sometimes at your expense! Love is so much interested in making the other person comfortable. Do you say you love that person and you never bought anything for them? Your love is in doubt nine, not cloud nine!
Am I In Love Or Not?
Play with each other
Love wants to stay in fun with that loved one. Love wants to talk, gist, play, laugh together and spend time with each other. When you detest communication, when you hardly laugh, when you claim loneliness right in the midst of your loved one, that love is contaminated, that love has been compromised and that love has been negotiated.
When last did you laugh together? That is one of the expressions of deep-seated love. That childish, innocent, hard belly laugh, till some drop of tear come out of the corner of your eye! That is love.
1Co 13:4-8 (MSG) [4] Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, [5] Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, [6] Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, [7] Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end. [8] Love never dies.
Signs there is no more love
Am I In Love Or Not?
The butterflies are no longer found
When the wings of the butterflies have been broken, their jokes that used to make you reel in laughter now irritate you. The once-creative jokes are now dumb and stupid. Love has flown away to a far far land!
Am I In Love Or Not?
When the bedroom fire dies
For couples, sex used to be explosive and satisfying, but now you could be reading a novel while at it. The love is evaporated.
For singles, when it is all about sex, with some sprinkles of manipulation that “there is nothing wrong, everybody is doing it” then you know that it is not based on love, but on sex and such relationships will not last.
3. When love is based on money
This love can’t endure. What happens when he or she goes broke? Love evaporates.
Heb 13:5 (CEV) Don’t fall in love with money. Be satisfied with what you have. The Lord has promised that he will not leave us or desert us.
There are more but I will stop here this morning! Use REVIVE prayers below to intercede true love back into your relationship and marriage.
Respect Can Turn Your Marriage Around. Relationships and marriages thrive because those involved are deliberate. Nothing just happens, as Bishop T.D. Jakes would always say. There is always cause and effect A dating and courtship situation doesn’t just morph into marriage like in a painting with strokes of the brush. A good marriage is not automatic.
We started looking at ten qualities that should be in every relationship
1. Trust 2. Communication 3. Respect 4. Love 5. Affection 6. Honesty 7. Understanding 8. Cooperation 9. Commitment 10. Fun
Yesterday we looked at the first two. Today, we continue with the next!
3. Respect
Respect Can Turn Your Marriage Around. Mutual respect is key in every marriage! I usually tell singles, that man that they can’t respect is the man they should never marry!
Respect should be both ways in marriage, but respect is more of an issue for the man!
Do you know when you respect your spouse, you won’t dabble in emotional affairs, not to talk of full-blown affairs?
It is disrespect to your spouse and the marriage covenant, and ultimately to God when you harbour, nurse, and pursue feelings, leading to affairs with anybody aside from your spouse!
Heb 13:4 (CEV) Have respect for marriage. Always be faithful to your partner, because God will punish anyone who is immoral or unfaithful in marriage.
Some ladies have perennial issues in marriage because they simply don’t understand what respect is in marriage.
They were never taught growing up. All they watched growing up is parents fighting and mum talking down at dad every time.
The modeling they saw growing up becomes tattooed in their brain and they unwittingly treat their husband even worse. They come into the marriage with attitudes, always defensive and unable to cooperate in marriage. Within, they struggle and feel that cooperating, adapting, and submitting to one’s is servitude or stupidity.
Conversely, some husbands are also unable to respect their wives. All they observed growing up is dad ordering mum around like a slave. All they saw was dad barking out instructions and sometimes “decking” mum with fatherly blows!
They come into marriage, with that notion. God help them if they marry a wife who is equally stubborn and recalcitrant! That marriage will not last!
The only hope then is a renewal of mind from the scriptures! Respect Can Turn Your Marriage Around
Both parties have to follow the word. They have to die to themselves! They have to be “stupid” for things to work sometimes.
It is not every statement that must be replied to. It is not every angry word you match fire for fire. That is why the Scripture says
Pro 15:1 (MSG) A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire.
It is not every utterance you must meditate on and expand till it explodes your relationship and marriage!
Let me stop here this morning! I will continue tomorrow. Use REVIVE video below to pray on what you’ve just read! Good morning!
Ten Undisputable Qualities You Must Have. The qualities we imbibe in our relationship or marriage in deliberate ways are what will be responsible for our overall health in that relationship or marriage! I want to quickly identify this morning ten qualities that should be in every relationship and marriage! They include:
1. Trust 2. Communication 3. Respect 4. Love 5. Affection 6. Honesty 7. Understanding 8. Cooperation 9. Commitment 10. Fun
Let’s discuss this briefly! Ten Undisputable Qualities You Must Have
Trust
This is the backbone of every relationship and marriage
Pro 31:11 (MSG) Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it.
Trust should be both ways in marriage! Protect that trust by not violating it repeatedly! Once trust is broken repeatedly, it becomes a loophole for the devil to initiate more chaos! Our relationships and marriages will not be chaotic in Jesus’ name!
Ten Undisputable Qualities You Must Have
2. Communication
How can I emphasize the importance of this one? It is so crucial!
Marital communication can improve the health of your relationship by bringing you and your spouse closer together.
Also, on a personal level, talking to your partner about your problems and wishes can help reduce your stress. It can help you sort out your feelings without worrying about the future.
Don’t bring temperament into marriage and then keep saying you are the quiet type. So who is the talking type? Relationships and especially marriage should be a place where you are excited to share and talk constantly.
Also, it is communication that will help you build trust eventually.
Stop thinking your spouse or lover will just know things without talking! It is only the Holy Spirit that has that capacity and your lover or spouse is none of that! Laugh together! Rejoice together! Talk freely with one another!
When you communicate, conflicts are resolved! When you internalize, you are a breeding ground for offense because the devil will ensure he expands the issue in your thought realm till you actually come into a place where you begin to hate and get irritated at the one you are supposed to love!
Don’t allow that in your relationship or marriage! These are two of Ten Undisputable Qualities You Must Have
3 Tips for Finding and Keeping True Love. This is for both single and married. There is no one-size-fits-all answer to the question of how to find a spouse, but there are some things that everyone should keep in mind when looking for love.
First, it is essential to be open to the possibility of love. Secondly, it is important to meet new people and to get out of your comfort zone. Finally, it is essential to be patient and prayerful.
How to Find a Spouse: 3 Tips for Finding and Keeping True Love
If you’re wondering how to find a spouse, you’re not alone. The search for true love is a journey many people go on, and it can be difficult, especially without God But, if you keep the following three things in mind, you’ll be well on your way to finding the partner of your dreams.
3 Tips for Finding and Keeping True Love
1. Be open to the possibility of love.
Too often, people get caught up in finding the perfect partner and end up closing themselves off from the possibilities that are right in front of them. It’s important to be open to the idea of love, even if you don’t think the person you’re currently with is the one. You do this without being emotional or suggestive. You never know when love will find you. Most often, we have allowed our past love failures, broken relationships, and broken hearts, to close up the fact that true love exists. You have to be open and believe in God without compromise. Allow God to do a new thing!
Isa 43:19 (MSG) Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands.
As married couples, let go of past mistakes and errors and be open to the possibilities of a new day in your marriage! Don’t dig up the past all the time for that will surely hinder your love from growing!
3 Tips for Finding and Keeping True Love
2. Get out of your comfort zone.
Oftentimes, the people we end up falling in love with are those that we never would have thought to give a second glance. That’s why it’s important to meet new people and get out of your comfort zone. You never know who you’ll meet or where you’ll find love. You can’t be praying for a spouse while you stay in your room all the time. You have to go where you can be found, for example, decent social gatherings, meetings with friends, and so on. Clubs, wild parties, and the likes are the wrong places to look for a spouse!
Pro 13:20 (CEV) Wise friends make you wise, but you hurt yourself by going around with fools.
For married couples, create fun in your marriage. Do new things together. Be creative in the bedroom without toying with perversions. Enjoy yourselves and avoid continual tantrums and quarrels
3 Tips for Finding and Keeping True Love
3. Be patient and prayerful
The right person will come along when the time is right. Just remember to keep your trust in God, and the rest will fall into place.
Stay prayed up. Prayers have a way of protecting you from falling into traps!
Luk 22:40 (MSG) When they arrived at the place, he said, “Pray that you don’t give in to temptation.”
As married couples, never underestimate the power of prayers! Pray in other to keep the devil off your marital turf! Rather than get hurt all the time and stay in strife, learn to have conversations with God!
