There is a way to love him without unloving God. There is a way to love him and yet be godly. There is a way to make God happy while making him glad. How do you achieve that?
You see the moment you love him to the detriment of your relationship with God, things can really go awry.
Your goal is never to offend God in your bid to make him happy. Let’s take a look at a few things.
How To Respect Your Man
Respect
Col 3:18-19 (AMP) Wives, be subject to your husbands [ subordinate and adapt yourselves to them ], as is right and fitting and your proper duty in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives [ be affectionate and sympathetic with them ] and do not be harsh or bitter or resentful toward them.
Singles:
How To Respect Your Man
Respect is a major issue for men. An average man out there is egocentric. Your ego is always there even after giving your life to Jesus. There is nothing wrong with ego, but being overly egocentric is not too wise; especially when you take it out on her all the time. It is this issue of ego that men have that makes respect a big issue for them. It is not uncommon to hear from men, even when you are not yet married, “You don’t respect me!”
As singles, there should be a limit to which you can be subservient because you are not yet married. You see, until you are married properly, and legally, there are some things that should not be dabbled into. You cannot say in your bid to respect a husband-to-be, you now allow yourself to be trampled over. You cannot lose your virtue in your bid to respect your fiance. Let me explain further with an example. He wants sex. You know it is a sin and God frowns at it.
You are not being respectful when you cooperate with him to disobey God. That is not being respectful, that is being disobedient! You see, you cannot satisfy your fiance at the expense of God. If you try that, you are sowing the seeds that will truncate that very relationship. It is God that will keep your relationship up until your marriage, not your cooperation with sin.
Another example. He has a family function. He asks you to come over and be part of the function. Being your future husband, you obeyed. You went there, and it’s getting late and you ask where you will pass the night. He says you are sleeping over with him. You say, No, you are not yet married and he gets angry. At that point, you are either going to “respect” him or “respect” God!
To wrap this up, respect for him that translates to disrespect for God should never be entertained. Let your respect for him be guided by God’s word. Respect does not mean being stupid or foolish! Anything you try to do to respect him which translates to disrespecting God will backfire. It just won’t work out, and at the end of the day, all your bid to respect him will end in disrespect of your person.
Married Couples:
How To Respect Your Man
For married couples, it is also a major issue. The Bible advises that as a wife, you should submit to your own husband. Respect for your husband is not just a physical issue; it is a deeply spiritual issue. The devil knows this and capitalizes on it. As a wife, if your husband keeps saying you don’t respect him, don’t ignore it. You need to get to the root of it.
Usually, you will not agree with him when he says that and it even hurts you to hear that, but if he keeps saying that, you need to calm down and not flare up. Usually, men are thinkers, and before they say something, they have thought about it and concluded. Of course, their conclusions can be very selfish and wrong most times, but for peace to reign in your home, don’t ignore him when he says that.
What do you do if he keeps saying that and yet you can’t see what he is saying? As I said, men and women seem to be from different planets because they think and process differently. So, what you need to do is to seek to understand what he sees and wants in terms of respect.
What is the specific definition of respect for your husband?
Is it in terms of greeting and genuflecting when you greet? Is it in terms of cooking certain delicacies? Is it in terms of food is ready by the time he gets home? Is it in terms of your cooperation with him in spiritual things? Is it in terms of your willingness and excitement in bed? Is it in terms of your career and business? Is it in terms of the way you answer him back when he talks? Is it in terms of how you treat him in the presence of his friends or your own friends? Is it in terms of finances? Is it in terms of your spending habits? Is it in terms of how you treat the children? Is it in terms of the kinds of friends you keep? And the list goes on!
So you see, why the statement, “You don’t respect me!” should not be ignored? As couples, go out eating or when you are very relaxed, say something like this:
“Dear, You know I love you? I want you to know that. I know you often say that I don’t respect you, but I really want to make you happy. Do you know sometimes, I don’t really understand what you meant by that? Can you explain this to me further? How do you want me to respect you? Tell me in practical terms and give me examples if possible so that I can understand better. I don’t want anything coming in between us, you know you are my crown.”
When you say something like that, watch your tone and your countenance! Don’t raise your voice, maintain eye contact, smile all the while, and touch him while saying that. When he starts trying to explain, don’t get angry. That is not the time to get hurt over one use of a word; it is time to try to get what he is really trying to say. Even if he gets back to raising his voice while trying to explain, allow it, because that shows it is really a big issue for him, so absorb it because your goal is not to argue or defend yourself, it is your goal to let him explain so that you understand what he really wants.
After he is done, and you get what he is really saying, hold his hands and tell him, you are going to work at it. Tell him you will need his help by being patient and gentle with you. When you are done, ask him to pray for you! He might be shy or say he doesn’t know how to pray if that is the first time, but tell him you just want him to bless you because he is anointed as the head of the house.
As you do this, you will see some improvements. That statement, “You don’t respect me!” will gradually reduce with time.
Why I have gone to this extent to break it down? I am committed to the success of your relationship and marriage. It is my passion and assignment and God has given me tremendous grace to do that. I pray God will grant you grace to follow His principles which will ensure the success of your relationship/marriage.
Overcoming Backwardness In Life. Sally has been experiencing setback after setbacks. It just seems everything she did never prospered! Even though she is still single, you can see lines of frustration on her forehead. She looks lost on what to do. She is losing count of dates and broken engagements. It would all look promising, only for her joy to be shattered.
The Johnsons who are already married are not spared either. They seem to be revolving around a circle. Like the proverbial rocking chair, they are involved in many businesses and activities, but no progress at the end of the day!
Overcoming Backwardness In Life
You see there is such a thing called backwardness. There is a wicked spirit whose assignment is to bring backwardness so that the saints of God can be wearied and assume a position that nothing is really working.
Once on this lane, it becomes impossible to stay in faith as every effort to believe God is frustrated!
See the reality ion backwardness in the scriptures:
Jer 7:24 (KJV) But they hearkened not, nor inclined their ear, but walked in the counsels and in the imagination of their evil heart, and went backward, and not forward.
It is actually possible for a person to go backward and not forward. According to the verse above, the chief cause of this is a refusal to listen to God, but rather choosing to follow one’s own counsel and imagination!
Take a look at other translations:
Jer 7:24 (MSG) “‘But do you think they listened? Not a word of it. They did just what they wanted to do, indulged any and every evil whim and got worse day by day.
The Amplified Version is even more intense:
Jer 7:24 (AMPC) But they would not listen to and obey Me or bend their ear [to Me], but followed the counsels and the stubborn promptings of their own evil hearts and minds, and they turned their backs and went in reverse instead of forward.
I pray for you this morning, you will not go in reverse in Jesus’ name!
Take these prayer points: Overcoming Backwardness In Life
Every satanic investment in my life is wasted, in the name of Jesus.
Every power that swallows divine opportunities, dies, in the name of Jesus.
I enter into my prophetic destiny, in the name of Jesus.
Betty gave her all to that relationship. It was the very fast time she would fall in love, is it meant a lot to her. She saw nothing other than a glorious wedding, a blissful marriage and wonderful children ahead. She fantasized herself being with Bode, loving each other as married couples.
She nearly failed her exam at a time because she was in love. The love was like drugs to her. She thought about nothing other than Bode. Her friends told her to slow down but she told them they were jealous and its because theirs weren’t working!
“Nobody will mess up my romantic story,” she would say.
As time progressed, quarrels reared their heads. The love story began to develop unwanted twists that nearly ended the story abruptly. But she hung on.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was when Betty discovered that Bode was cheating on her with three different ladies, one of them being her best friend.
Her hearts was shattered, scattered and battered.
“All men are scum!” She said.
She went from anger into hurt and then bitterness. From there she entered acute feminism and she was beginning to sing that “marriage is not for me”
Have you ever find yourself in this kind of scenario?
I have a word of the Lord for you this morning.
Even though you are hurting and bitter, God will heal your soul! Yes, He promised that!
Psa 23:3 (KJV) HE RESTORETH MY SOUL: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
He would not just heal your soul which its battered, He will restore it and reset it! Then He will now lead you into His God’s ordained plan for you maritally.
So when you are hurting, don’t stay in that hurt, Go to God and let God do only what God can do.
For married couples, you have to intentionally forgive. You won’t be able to do much in a state of hurt or bitterness. Will your spouse offend you? Severally? So what do you do? You keep forgiving! You don’t even want anything to block your prayers or render them effective. May our lives not be wasted by unnecessary hurt and bitterness in Jesus name!
I pray for you, healing and restoration will come to your soul in Jesus Name!
Loving more As Singles And Married. There are practical ways to love that special one more whether you are just in a relationship or you are married. There are things you can do to avoid unnecessary quarrels that can lead to break-ups, separation, or even divorce! I will like to explore some of these things with the help of the Holy Spirit. I am sure somebody is out there who will learn something.
So how do you love that special one more? Here we go!
Loving More As Singles And Married
Singles
1. The leading that you cannot do without If you are a child of God, you must be led by Him. That is the best way to love that special one! You are not just in it for fun or for a fling, you are there because there is leading.
You see, there is such a thing as being led by God. He leads you, He directs you, and He shows you who to hang out with and who to discard. He becomes your shepherd.
Some people actually assume that God is not interested in their relationship or marriage. Probably God is too busy. Who says?
Listen to me, God is more interested in your relationship and marriage than you are! That’s the truth. Do you know that marriage was not a man’s idea? It was originally God’s idea!
That is why I wonder about those who are attempting to redefine marriage. They are trying to alter what they did not initiate. Confusion is bound to be the order of the day!
Be led, my dear people! There are a lot of things attempting to lead you. Your adrenaline will want to lead you. Your emotions will want to lead you. Your environment will want to lead you. Your friends will want to lead you. Your parents will attempt to lead you.
But listen to me, there is no leading like that leading of the Holy Spirit. He can never lead you wrong. His leading will end in joy. His leading is His perfect will for you!
Oh, what peace engulfs you when you are led by God? It is the peace that passes all understanding!
“And God’s peace [ shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace ] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (Php 4:7, AMP)
Loving More As Singles And Married. God is the only one that knows the person that will love you now and will still love you in another forty years! He is the only one that knows the person that will be okay with your intelligence, creativity, and sometimes foolishness and stupidity!
You cannot even see beyond your nose. It pays to follow His leading!
How do you know His leading?
It begins with a relationship with God Himself. If you distance yourself from God and His fellowship, you will miss his leading. Then you need to get filled with the Holy Spirit with the evidence of Speaking in tongues. That is very important!
When you do that, He would begin to speak to you through His Holy Spirit. When you are with the wrong person, He will tell you. When somebody is deceiving you, He will tell you! He will warn you against the wicked man and froward man whose mouth speaks perverse things. He will warn you against the strange woman who flatters with her mouth but whose path leads to death!
Make up your mind to be led by Him. That is how to avoid heartaches and unnecessary agony!
Married
Loving More As Singles And Married
If you are already married, make sure you continue in His leading in every other area of your life. That would guarantee unending peace. Your continual seeking of His face brings peace into your marriage. Oh yes, I know there are some of you who are married and you think you are with the wrong person. What do you do? Leave such a person? No! God does not want divorce or separation unless you can no longer help it.
You can go back to God, and God can re-write your history. You can fight for your marriage and home in the place of prayer.
Do you have an erring husband? You can handle him in prayer. Do you have an uncooperative wife? Take it to the Lord in prayer.
A lot of God’s children are no longer conscious of the power they possess, and that is in the place of prayer. When last did you go on your knees concerning your spouse? When last did you besiege the heavens, and the angels of God will have no choice but to move in your favour?
You bought her pieces of jewelry and she is still depressed and you are wondering what happened? It is because you didn’t pray in the morning. Loving More As Singles And Married
Fight for your marriage, not by refusing to cook for him or by ignoring her, but by going into your prayer closet.
I tell you, heaven will hear you, and earth will cooperate with you!
When God created Adam, the first thing he saw was work. God told him to dress the garden. He bonded with work. Since all humanity was in Adam, we inherited the same disposition. That is why that man around you will always get his fulfillment from work.
When God created Eve, the first thing she saw was a man “toasting” her and staring at her beauty! That is why that woman around you loves to be “toasted,” and gets her fulfillment from home and family.
The man is work oriented and the woman is relationship oriented.
Why Are We So Different?
When a man is out of work or is not working, it affects his self-esteem. When a woman’s love life or family is in disarray, it affects her self-esteem.
When a man meets his friend after many years, the first question is “where do you work now?” When women meet each other after many years, they are showing pictures of the family from their phones!
A man is fulfilled after a good day of work. A woman is fulfilled if she has been loved up with tender loving care since morning!
Why Are We So Different?
Husbands who are workaholics need to be careful. It is a point of quarrel in your home and you may not really know! Ladies who neglect home and care for family need to be careful as well. It will always lead to issues when you fail to care for your home.
Men, leave work at work and don’t bring work home. When you are coming home, think family, think about your wife, be romantic, and your marriage will get better.
Ladies, show interest in your husbands while they work! It will work wonders! Men, go and talk to her while she is getting food ready in the kitchen. She is likely to find that romantic!
There must be balance! Don’t allow her to see your laptop as her rival. Study her love language and speak that language.
Ladies, guys are logical. Be involved in his thoughts. When you are disconnected from him, he gets jealous and he actually begins to think you are someone else!
Keep communication open. Talk about what has been bringing frustration and confront them, rather than sweep them under the carpet.
Why Are We So Different?
Be sincere with each other, and do not hide things from each other. Talk about how you feel, and don’t expect your spouse to be the Holy Spirit that knows all things.
Work like a team and don’t be grouchy over everything. Don’t get hurt by every statement. Be calm, and be patient. Lock the devil out of your home by walking in love with each other and praying for one another.
The same principles work for singles who are in courtship. Make sure there is balance. You can’t say you are busy at work and have not called her in one week! There will be issues. Also, you can’t expect her to be very happy when you are not working and yet you are planning a wedding. What if a man can’t find a job in time? Then find work to do. You may be out of a job, but never be out of work. Simply find something to do and while you are at it, heaven will kiss the earth on your behalf and help will arise for you!
