How To Avoid Or Deal With Gaslighting . We started looking at Gaslighting in relationships and marriage yesterday! Certainly, it is not a good habit to live with as it will eventually ruin any relationship or marriage. It is a defective situation and it will certainly produce undesirable effects.
Singles can avoid gaslighting by simply walking away from a persistent situation. Married couples are to deal with it. How will this be done?
Before I go on, REVIVE Conversation was awesome yesterday! If you missed it, you can check the recap on YouTube using this link – Yesterday we looked at and treated the following:
Proper Or Improper – My Husband Betrayed My Trust
Tired Of Being Single
He’s quiet and doesn’t talk
My Minister Friend Got Involved With A Female Member
My Husband Does Not Give Me Money
Check the responses HERE Tonight we continue on Episode 3 by 9.00pm GMT + 1.
You can ask your questions, pout your heart out, vent, or seek advice HERE and we will respond accordingly!
How To Avoid Or Deal With Gaslighting
Back to our topic of the day, Gaslighting can be a destructive and deceitful form of manipulation, but it is possible to protect yourself from its harmful effects.
As singles, Listen to the Holy Spirit to guide you!
Your inner witness will be a warning sign in the relationship! The moment you have that unsettling feeling about going on with the wedding, do not ignore it. Find out why! Ask questions. Communicate with your intended spouse and don’t just fill every moment with sex. Aside from the fact that it is sinful, it actually destroys meaningful conversations! When you see yourselves, all you do is pounce on yourselves, things move quickly from verbal to sexual.
As couples, you will certainly need to seek counseling or therapy! The situation will need more than some one-hour counseling, because gaslighting is rooted in some mindset that began usually in the distant past and usually the person may not even know that they are abusive or manipulative! Reach out to me via Whatsapp for intensive therapy once your spouse cooperates to deal with it. A lot of digging into the past has to be done to find out where it emanated from! h It will take a lot of humility! That is why accusing your spouse will not work. It is also mostly not planned, it just happens because the person does not know better or it has simply become a habit!
But you see, the other person on the receiving end would not be enjoying it at all.
How To Avoid Or Deal With Gaslighting
It can even get more dramatic and unfortunate when the other partner decides to gaslight as well in a retaliatory effort to preserve their sanity! The kids will pick up the habit and their own marital life becomes defective even before it starts. That will not be your portion in Jesus’ name! So you see, this is not something to accommodate! The consequences can be generational!
Gaslighting in Relationships and Marriages. Gaslighting is a deceptive form of psychological abuse that often goes unnoticed. It is a manipulative tactic used by someone you trust, such as a partner, friend, or family member, to question your memory, perception, and sanity.
As singles, it is better to open your eyes and see any such tendencies and run for your life. Don’t even think you want to change anybody. You are not the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the one that convicts. God has helped you by showing you tendencies you will romance with after the wedding, why are you still holding on blindly?
For those who are married, you are in already! Is gaslighting possible in marriage? The answer is Yes.
Now it is possible for a partner to be doing without even realizing the damage they are doing. It can often come from a defective or abusive background. The hurt always ends up hurting others. In the event of this, it is strongly recommended that both of you seek counsel or therapy, so that this dangerous habit can stop!
The manipulator may deny things you know to be true, make false claims, and twist facts in their favor, leading you to doubt your own reality. Mental issues can arise from persistent gaslighting.
Gaslighting in Relationships and Marriages
To recognize gaslighting, watch out for these red flags:
1. Denial of events Your partner denies things that you recall happening, leaving you feeling confused and uncertain.
2. False claims They may try to convince you that your memory is flawed or that things are not as they seem.
3. Fact-twisting They may present facts in a way that supports their position and leaves you doubting yourself.
4. Isolation They may try to limit your interactions with friends and family, in an effort to control and manipulate you.
5. Reality-doubt The constant barrage of false claims and twisted facts can leave you feeling like you’re losing your mind.
The idea here is not to cause a fight or go ahead and accuse your spouse. That will even cause more problems and bring a wedge between you. It is to lovingly approach this and seek counsel on how to move forward.
For singles, if you can run, you need to, especially if it is persistent and the person is unwilling to admin and seek help.
Gaslighting in Relationships and Marriages. What do you do when you are intertwined with gaslighting?
To be Continued Tomorrow.
Are you aware we started to REVIVE Conversations yesterday? You will see Video soon below the devotional. We continue today by 9.pm GMT +1
Breaking Free from Emotional Suppression. Emotional suppression and the accompanying tension can be very dangerous on all fronts! Most relationships and marriages have been ruptured because there is oftentimes nobody to talk to! The inability to ventilate regularly can become a marital clog in the wheel and yet one must be cautious where you divulge, or else your issue will be on billboards!
Emotions play a crucial role in our lives. They shape our relationships, influence our decision-making, and impact our overall well-being. However, in some situations, we may feel the need to suppress our emotions, push them aside, and ignore them. This is known as emotional suppression
The inability to express one’s feelings and “pour out” is often referred to as emotional suppression or suppression of emotions. Emotional suppression refers to the act of intentionally pushing emotions, thoughts, and feelings out of one’s conscious awareness in order to manage them in a more functional way.
While emotional suppression can be a coping mechanism for individuals in some short-term situations, it can become problematic when it is used consistently over time.
Breaking Free from Emotional Suppression
This is because it can lead to a build-up of negative emotions and a decreased ability to process and regulate emotions in a healthy manner.
There are many singles and married couples who don’t talk and keep on suppressing emotions. There’s often nobody to talk to because you have been warned by your spouse. This is unhealthy!
Sometimes, it is the guilt of something really unwise that we have done. Despite asking for God’s forgiveness, the guilt reaches its hands like a monster from our past and impedes us on a daily basis.
A guilt-ridden mind can have significant consequences on a person’s mental and emotional well-being. When a person is unable to express their guilt and cannot “pour out” their feelings, it can lead to the following consequences:
Breaking Free from Emotional Suppression. Consequences of emotional suppression may include:
1. Stress and anxiety Holding onto feelings of guilt without expressing them can increase stress and anxiety levels, as the individual feels overwhelmed and burdened by their feelings.
2. Depression and Despondency The feelings of guilt can lead to feelings of hopelessness and sadness, which can contribute to depression.
3. Health problems Chronic stress and anxiety can lead to physical health problems, such as headaches, stomach problems, and sleep disorders.
4. Isolation that leads to desolation The individual may feel embarrassed or ashamed of their feelings of guilt, leading them to withdraw from others and become isolated.
4. Damaged relationships Holding onto feelings of guilt can lead to a breakdown in communication and trust in relationships, as the individual becomes distant and unwilling to share their feelings with others.
5. Low self-esteem The individual may feel a sense of self-blame and worthlessness due to their feelings of guilt, leading to decreased self-esteem and a negative self-image.
6. Difficulty in problem-solving The individual may have difficulty processing their feelings of guilt and finding ways to resolve the underlying problems, leading to further feelings of frustration and helplessness.
What is the way out?
You just must pour out! Kisses and Huggs Club is coming to the rescue through REVIVE Conversations!
Every day, there will be REVIVE Prayers by 6.00 am and REVIVE Conversations by 9.00 pm. Follow on Mixlr to participate! – https://khcglobal.mixlr.com
It is a daily online programme between 9.00 pm and 10.00 pm GMT +1
Here, you will have the opportunity to vent your feelings, and secrets, ask questions, and many more while Pastor Sophia and I attend to you!
The daily programme holds on Mixlr and will be available on YouTube an hour after!
You will be able to drop questions or “vent” anonymously on a platform we have created especially for this!
We will treat all these issues daily on REVIVE Conversations! Go ahead, use the link, and vent all you need to. You will discover that as you release that long age issue anonymously, that infidelity issue, that secret, you will be so light!
Jas 5:16 (KJV) Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed.
See you tonight by 9.00pm!
To be notified, simply JOIN SINGLES’ Hub OR COUPLES Only Hub on Whatsapp. You may also give the link to friends and family as applicable!
How To Take Your Marriage To Next Level. In marriage, you have to be deliberate! One such area is in the area of touching one another! Now let me make this clear to singles, leave all the touching till after the wedding! Just follow my advice! Once you start touching, you will arouse sleeping hormones, you will wake up hibernated desires, and you will find yourself doing some incredible things. Then you will repent if you still have a conscience and there you go and do it again! From touching, the graduation ceremony will be held into the next classes including kissing, necking, fondling, oral sex and so many unprintable things! By this time, I humorously say that all angels have flown away so that their eyes will not behold evil!
So all singles, just follow what the Bible is saying here:
Son 2:7 (KJV) I charge you, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, by the roes, and by the hinds of the field, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, till he please.
Take a look ay the Message Translation:
Son 2:7 (MSG) Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem, by the gazelles, yes, by all the wild deer: Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is ripe—and you’re ready.
How To Take Your Marriage To Next Level
For the married on the other, hand, we are begging you, don’t leave “touching till only when you want to make love, rather let the touching be applied all day long, at every opportunity.
And dear wives, stop “fencing off your husband’s hands…especially when he wants to hold those things! Dear husbands, don’t grab or pinch… so you can have unhindered access!
Physical touch is important for overall well-being, as it can release oxytocin, a hormone that promotes feelings of happiness and relaxation.
In general, it is important for couples and partners to engage in physical touch that is consensual, respectful, and feels good to both partners. The reality is that regular hugs, hand-holding, or cuddling helps them feel more connected and emotionally secure, while others may prefer less physical contact.
I love it when my wife rubs my head while driving! What about you what do you love?
Singles, don’t even love anything for now… just love your Bible!
It is interesting how we are asking singles not to touch yet and begging couples to keep touching!
A lot of good news coming to Kisses and Huggs Club! God has been speaking to me since last year about what He wants us to do to be a blessing to your relationship and marriage!
Here are a few things you will love to know!
1. KHC Devotionals will now be referred to as “REVIVE Devotionals for Singles and Married.”
2. REVIVE Prayers will continue to hold in the mornings on Mixlr, from 6.00am – 6.30am
3. This is New! REVIVE Conversations (Which will include conversations, true life stories, Q and A, and more ) will hold daily by 9.00pm – 10.00pm. This begins on Sunday 5th Feb.
6. If you leave in the city of Ibadan, plan to attend a special Valentine Programme. Details later.
7. Finally, our Discussions hold tonight on Singles’ Hub and Couples’ Hub by 7pm and 9pm respectively! Last weeks meeting I did for Couples is available on Youtube! You will love it. https://youtu.be/5LyARv2Le4s
How To Breathe New Life Into A Struggling Love Life. It all begins with love but along the way, life happens and the twinkle in the eyes disappears, the racing heartbeats at the sight of the one you love slow down and take their time, and the butterflies lose colour and no longer flap their wings. The love is dying!
All they professed seemed far away! What are the signs that love is struggling?
How To Breathe New Life Into A Struggling Love Life
Communication goes on strike
This is one sure way to know love is dying! The mute button is applied in the relationship or marriage and you are just going through the motions. As singles, you don’t know whether the path being trudged is the aisle. As married, the once exuberance and ecstasy that enraptures you at the sight of your lover seemed to have vaporized.
You must fight to keep the communication going in that relationship or marriage! When communication becomes strained and conversations become more argumentative than supportive, this could be a sign that love is fading. One thing you can do to breathe new life into communication is the use of gentle soft words!
Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger
What are other signs?
How To Breathe New Life Into A Struggling Love Life
Sad Memories Erupt
If your memories of the relationship become filled with negativity and unhappy experiences, this could indicate that love is fading. If depression and despondency take over, if sadness and forlornness abide in the home, it’s a sure sign love is waning!
Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
You have to deliberately focus on positive areas and move away from all negative vibes!
The reality is that the eruptions of those sad memories flooding your heart are engineered from hell, to keep you down, wearied, and to give up on that relationship our marriage!
You must learn the art of forgiveness or else, you will allow the root of bitterness to take hold. Sure you don’t want this!
I pray that God will heal your relationship or marriage in Jesus’ name!
Something beautiful is starting from 5th February! Watch out! Details later!
