Experiencing a breakup or divorce is not something anyone desires or looks forward to. As a matter of fact, God hates divorce, and it is not His best for His children. However, in some cases, it happens, and the aftermath of such events is usually filled with hurt, betrayal, pain, regret, and heartache. It doesn’t matter who is at fault; what’s essential is getting healed from every hurt. With God’s help, you can overcome the pain and come out stronger. In the name of Jesus, He will give you double for your trouble, and you will forget all your past hurts.
Here are five ways to handle your ‘Ex’ as a single or married person so that you can become a better person rather than a bitter one.
REVIVE CONVERSATIONS now holds on ZOOM!Drop all relationship /marital questions, issues, and troubles ANONYMOUSLY, or just vent and pour your heart out. We will respond and judge the situation together by 9.00pm (Tuesdays and Thursdays) – https://khcng.com/vent/
When Your Ex Won’t Let Go
1. Acknowledge that the relationship has ended
Some people may hold onto the hope that something might happen to bring them back together. However, if your ‘Ex’ is not willing, there is nothing you can do to change that. Denial will only keep you stuck in the past, preventing you from moving forward. You need to let go of the past to embrace the new. Just like God recognized the death of Moses before Joshua could take over, you need to recognize that the relationship is over before you can move on.
When Your Ex Won’t Let Go
2. Minimize all forms of communication
You need to reduce all forms of communication to the barest minimum, such as visits, calls, chats, and texts. Maintaining contact with your ‘Ex’ can lead to double dating and cheating on your new partner, which will only cause more hurt and pain. Some ‘Exes’ might want to continue enjoying your company without committing to you. Don’t fall for this trap, as it will only waste your time and hurt you even more. Avoid checking their social media updates to keep up with their lives or getting jealous when you see them with someone else. Let them be and move on.
NB: Singles and Couples’ Hubs Whatsapp Meeting is Weekly. Use the links below to join and participate
When Your Ex Won’t Let Go
3. Learn from your past relationship
The best way to overcome the pain and hurt from a past relationship is to learn from it. Don’t let the devil have the last laugh by dwelling on the past. Take the time to reflect on the mistakes you made and learn from them. Don’t rush into another relationship or try to prove a point. Instead, go at God’s pace and ask yourself questions like What went wrong? What were the wrong choices I made? These questions are not meant to depress you but to make you wiser. Learn about human behavior and tendencies, how to treat a lover, and put God at the top of your priority list.
For those who have been married once, divorce should not be an option. However, in some cases, it may be necessary when there is violence and abuse involved or when reconciliation is no longer possible. In addition to the tips mentioned above, forgiveness is key to moving on.
Bitterness will only crush you more, so get healed. Do not use your children as a tool to fight back, as this can plant bitterness in their hearts.
In Jesus’ name, I pray that God will give you the strength to fight for your marriage, and may He restore that which is lost and fill your mouth with laughter again.
How To Satisfy Your Wife: Tips for Better Communication, Romance, and Bedroom
Marriage is a beautiful union, but it takes work to keep it strong and healthy. As a husband, one of your primary responsibilities is to make sure your wife is happy and satisfied. In this devotional, we’ll discuss some tips on how to satisfy your wife sexually and emotionally.
How To Satisfy Your Wife
1. Communicate Effectively
Effective communication is key to a happy and healthy marriage. Here are some tips to help you communicate more effectively with your wife or fiancee
a. Empathic listening Listen actively and attentively. Put yourself in her shoes when she is talking.
b. Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements “You” statements can come across as accusatory, so you might want to avoid that.
c. Avoid interrupting your wife My wife, for example, doesn’t like me to interrupt her when she is talking. Even saying “okay” too many times is an interruption for her. It took me years to learn this.
d. Be open and honest Be transparent. Once your wife sees that you are dishonest, you will break her trust and that can really be counterproductive.
e. Respect each other’s opinions and feelings Do not dismiss her opinions even if they sounded “stupid” to you! Please take note of this and thank me later!
REVIVE CONVERSATIONS now holds on ZOOM!Drop all relationship /marital questions, issues, and troubles ANONYMOUSLY, or just vent and pour your heart out. We will respond and judge the situation together by 9.00pm (Tuesdays and Thursdays) – https://khcng.com/vent/
How To Satisfy Your Wife
2. Prioritize Romance
The second thing you want to take note of is this. Romance is an important part of any marriage. Here are some ways to keep the romance alive:
a. Surprise your wife with small gestures, like bringing her favorite snacks or leaving her a romantic poem for her
b. Plan date nights. This helps you to be deliberate about your marriage.
c. Show physical affection, like hugging and kissing. This shouldn’t be difficult. Is that what every man wants?
d. Do things together that you both enjoy. Find mutual activities and dive into it.
Dear singles, don’t even try to take “romance” to the physical level. Be nice, and courteous, and understand that you are the protector of her body, not the violator of it!
How To Satisfy Your Wife
3. Keep the Sex Life Interesting
Singles, keep sex out completely. It’s not even on the menu!
For couples, a healthy sex life is crucial to any marriage. Here are some tips to spice things up in the bedroom:
a. Communicate openly about your desires. Deal with inhibitions.
b. Try new things, like different positions, but don’t break somebody’s daughter’s legs!
c. Take your time and focus on foreplay. She needs an average of twenty minutes foreplay unless you are doing a quickie!
d. Be attentive to your wife’s needs and desires. That helps her to be responsive in bed.
How To Satisfy Your Wife
4. Show Appreciation
Showing appreciation is an important part of any relationship. Here are some ways to show your wife how much you appreciate her:
a. Compliment her. Do this deliberately, Single or Married.
b. Say “thank you” Do not take her for granted, no matter how “little,” you think the effort is.
c. Do things for her without being asked. Be creative.
This is where we will stop today!
By following these tips, you can improve your relationship with your wife and keep your marriage strong and healthy. Remember to communicate effectively, prioritize romance, keep the sex life interesting, and show appreciation for your wife.
If only men can take their place, if only they can be responsible, if only they can lead rightly, we will surely have fewer broken marriages and damaged hearts!
Men are important! Daddies are precious. Fathers are golden!
Most young ladies today have serious defects in their lives because of absentee fathers or non-existent ones, and they, in turn, take this pain and transmit it in raising their own sons thereby perpetuating an anomaly into generations!
Oh that men would realize that which is committed unto them
Oh, that man would know that their carelessness does not end with them but initiates a crazy network of consequences that affects the wife, the children, and everybody around!
Where are the men?
Our text today which inspired all I have written above is taken from
Song of Solomon 2:3 (KJV) As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
My Husband Stands Out Like An Apple Tree
Let me quickly point out three things here:
An apple tree among other trees
An apple tree is different from all other trees because of the uniqueness of immense benefits encapsulated in the apple. So should men be!
When a single guy is like an apple tree, he is not like other guys who just want sex, who are just looking for fun, and who don’t mind taking advantage of ladies.
When a married man is like an apple tree, he is different from all other trees, he wouldn’t cheat on his wife and he would not violate the sanctity of their marital covenant!
My Husband Stands Out Like An Apple Tree
2. I sat down under his shadow with great delight
As a man, your shadow should bring shade and comfort to that lady, not the agony of heart!
The lady should find a great sense of security and peace under the protective covering of her beloved. She should feel sheltered and shaded; that she is no longer at the mercy of others, but now under his care.
My Husband Stands Out Like An Apple Tree
3. His fruit was sweet to my taste
The fruits of his spirit should align with the fruit of the spirit. His character should be sweet to her taste!
The remembrance of every single guy should be a sweet taste to the fiancee, not memories of abuse, rape, and violence!
The remembrance of every husband to his wife should bring sweetness to the palette, not regret and acute bitterness!
Lord, give our singles ladies men like apple trees among other trees!
Lord, make the husbands of our women, choice men, apple trees among other trees, bringing security and peace, sweetness and bliss in Jesus’ name!
In your journey of life, you are going to meet “destiny opposers!”
They just don’t like your face or anything you stand for!
It doesn’t matter if you are nice or not, as a matter of fact, some of these opposers are those you have been benefactors to one way or the other, which even makes it more painful.
Those you brought help to who are now bringing hell back to you!
They are all over the place in life and in marriage!
They could be your exes, mentees, or even mentors. It could be whichever way!
What about if you are very close to God? Oh, that is even when you attract them like bees.
Well, in one way, it’s also an orchestration of the devil to keep you distracted, un-focused, and disorganized.
If you wait to fight the set of people or pay them some attention, you might end up slowing yourself down.
How do you deal with this set of people?
Apostle Paul had someone like that! How did he deal with the person?
Let’s take a look.
2 Timothy 4:14-15 (KJV) Alexander the coppersmith did me much evil: the Lord reward him according to his works: [15] Of whom be thou ware also; for he hath greatly withstood our words.
So much evil was done to Apostle Paul. It must have been very painful for him to document it.
But what did he do? He handed him over to God.
Why is this the best thing to do?
It is the best to do because that will keep you away from unnecessary hurts and bitterness, which of course can hinder prayers.
It is also the best thing to do because God is a righteous judge and He can be trusted to retribute back to men according to His justice system, which cannot be faulted.
Did you learn something today? Have a fantastic day ahead of you!
Fireworks to Fizzle: Why Love Wanes and Butterflies Die
Comfort and Danny were so much in love when they met on campus. Their love seemed so genuine as they richly engaged in the public display of affection.
Their love was contagious such that those who saw them fell in love with their love!
It was a story of “till death do us part: until they got married and discovered that death is even weak. There were other things that “did them part!”
No need to wait for death again, they were ready to part!
Fireworks to Fizzle: Why Love Wanes and Butterflies Die
The love has waned. The butterflies have injured their wings and some have died. The wine of love is dissipated and nobody wants to refill. The fickle feelings could no longer be tickled.
Their mere appearance to each other used to lighten their countenance now brings gloom.
What happened?
One of the things that happened to Danny and Comfort is that their love was purely romance-based. They did not understand Agape love.
So when different things kicked in, the romance flew out of the window and their love collapsed like a pack of cards.
While Romance is essential, do not ignore the book of Romans!
Fireworks to Fizzle: Why Love Wanes and Butterflies Die
The agape love is God’s kind of love that is unconditional!
This love is so powerful because it is the very nature of God. It is a love that forgives quickly, that doesn’t do tit for tat, that loves irrespective of weaknesses.
The Agape loves decides to love whether there is feeling or not.
The agape love can’t see side chicks. The agape love is too focused to entertain any distraction.
The agape love doesn’t cheat. The agape love simply loves their spouse without apologies.
This is what sustains marriage after a wedding! The wind may blow, the storm may rage, and the butterflies may disappear, but ensure you stay grounded on agape love and you will be good!
agapaō
Definition: of persons: to welcome, to entertain, to be fond of, to love dearly to love, value, esteem, feel or manifest generous concern for, be faithful towards; to delight in, to set store upon
