5 Phrases That Kill Marriages – Ladies, Avoid These! Ola, who was not speaking to his wife for days, buried himself in work. On the surface, the Johnson family appeared to be the epitome of the ideal couple, admired by everyone. Their marriage seemed to have been meticulously planned out by the heavens. They were considered as role models for the younger generation due to their top-notch PDA!
However, all of this was merely superficial! Ola Johnson was not happy! They despised each other when alone in the house. Ola would not speak to his wife for days, and Kelly Johnson was confounded as to how her once romantic husband had become so emotionally shut down towards her.
Despite putting on a show for the public, they were wrecked at home. They kept up with social media appearances while their reality was crumbling!
The order of the day was strife. Small actions would result in massive provocations. They both knew that they could not keep going on like this. Ola was unyielding. Their sex life lacked emotion, and the few times they did engage in it, Kelly could practically read a novel in the meantime!
What went wrong?
5 Phrases That Kill Marriages – Ladies, Avoid These!
Yesterday, we discussed “5 Things Men Shouldn’t Say In Marriage.”
Today, we will be examining “5 Things Women Shouldn’t Say In Marriage.” Ola Johnson had been battered by words. Being a chronic phlegmatic, and his wife the sharp-mouthed choleric, he felt the only safe recourse was to resort to intimacy anorexia. He withheld his affection because he felt disrespected, and he believed his wife would not change!
The Ola Johnsons would undoubtedly require therapy!
But what were Kelly Johnson’s mistakes? These are some of the phrases she used repeatedly!
5 Phrases That Kill Marriages – Ladies, Avoid These!
1. ”I feel you are not being a man in this marriage.”
This statement would undoubtedly crush his ego, rendering him powerless since we are dealing with personalities here.
2. ”Why can’t you learn from Mr. So-and-so?”
Never compare your husband with another man. The outcome will not be pleasant.
3. ”With the way you’re going, I’m not sure you can provide for me and the family.”
Avoid making such statements to your fiance or husband. If you know you love him and are led by God, you should intercede for one another.
4. ”You’re just slow and lazy. All you do is sleep and watch football.”
Your fiance or husband will not take kindly to these words being repeated in their ears. Such words will not cause them to change either.
5. ”I made a mistake marrying you. I never had to suffer like this in my parents’ house. Why did you marry me if you knew you couldn’t take care of me?”
If you understand the principle of becoming one flesh in marriage, you will not even speak in this manner!
5 Phrases That Kill Marriages – Ladies, Avoid These!
Refer to 1 Pet 3:2 in the Amplified Version for further insight!
That concludes this morning’s discourse. It is worth noting that this devotional is not intended to justify unhealthy spouse habits, but rather to emphasize that wrong, inappropriate words uttered in marriage can jeopardize the survival of that marriage!
Five Phrases Men Should Avoid Using. Marriage can be a challenging journey, and it requires more than just love to make it work. Communication is key, but not all words are equal in their impact. In fact, some words should never be uttered by men to their wives or fiancées. Why? Because they can be like piercing swords in the heart of your partner, causing irreparable damage to your relationship.
Take the example of Bode and Sade. They got married a few years back, attracted to each other’s different personalities. Bode was the introvert, while Sade was the vivacious one. However, over time, their marriage hit rocky shores, and their once-exciting relationship turned sour. What happened?
It turns out that Bode and Sade had different expectations coming into the marriage. They also had different experiences growing up, with Bode exposed to negative utterances and vituperations, while Sade grew up in a family where abusive words were never used. When Bode dished out harsh words, Sade withdrew into her shell, and the excitement that once attracted Bode disappeared. As frustrations mounted, Bode continued to use harsh words, oblivious to the fact that his words were hurting his wife.
This scenario is all too common in marriages, and it’s essential to be mindful of the words we use. To that end, here are five things that men should never say to their wives or fiancées.
Five Phrases Men Should Avoid Using
1. ”I thought I married a joyful wife. You are obviously a sadist.”
This statement is a classic example of how not to communicate with your partner. By calling your wife a sadist, you are not only being hurtful, but you are also undermining her character. Your role as the priest of the house is to encourage and uplift your partner, not to tear her down with your words.
2. ”I don’t like the way you make stupid mistakes. I am having doubts about this wedding/marriage.”
This statement is a recipe for disaster. By expressing doubts about the marriage, you are creating unnecessary tension and anxiety in your relationship. Instead of attacking your partner, try to understand why they are making mistakes and offer support to help them improve.
Five Phrases Men Should Avoid Using
3. ”You are too slow for me. With the way we are going, we won’t last in this relationship/marriage.”
These words are not only hurtful but also have the potential to become self-fulfilling prophecies. By speaking negative words over your relationship, you are setting the stage for its failure. Remember, words are powerful, and what you speak, you attract.
4. ”What is wrong with you? You keep making mistakes every day. Are you sure you are okay?”
This statement is a direct attack on your partner’s self-esteem and can lead to self-doubt and low self-confidence. Instead of criticizing your partner, try to understand their struggles and offer a helping hand.
Five Phrases Men Should Avoid Using
5. ”I am not sure you are well brought up. My mum is not like this. She is not lazy and she took care of my dad!”
Comparing your partner to someone else, especially your mother, is a big no-no. It’s disrespectful and can make your partner feel inadequate. Remember, your partner is not your mother, and it’s unfair to hold them to the same standards.
In conclusion, marriage requires intentional communication and a willingness to speak the truth in love. Harsh words have no place in a healthy relationship, and it’s important to be mindful of the impact our words can have on our partners. By choosing our words carefully, we can create a positive and loving environment that fosters growth and happiness in our relationships.
When Enemies Kiss and Friends Wound. Ade met Sally and professed his love. He was all over her. Six months later, Sally was heartbroken. Ade became her enemy. There have been several kisses, but they were kisses of an enemy.
Mr. and Mrs. Johnson got married two years ago. Mr. Johnson had a bad habit that only his wife knows. His wife was on his case until he began to make changes. His ego was bruised, and his pride was punctured, but he got better. He was wounded, but they were wounds of a friend.
The scripture is filled with God’s wisdom. There is enough wisdom in God’s word such that, if followed, crises in relationships and marriages will be minimized.
Let’s take a look at the scripture
Pro 27:6 (KJV) Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
When Enemies Kiss and Friends Wound
There is an obvious contradiction in the verse above. I would have understood if the Bible says “The kisses of a friend and the wounds of an enemy. But the scripture says “Wounds of a friend and the kisses of an enemy.”
The friend comes with wounds. The enemy comes with kisses.
Your lover or spouse will often come with wounds, yet he meant well. Corrections and confrontations will burst your ego, will dissolve your pride, and will challenge your weakness zone! You will feel wounded either in courtship or marriage because that which you are used to is being unsettled.
Never refuse instructions from your spouse because your spouse knows you in and out.
Pro 15:32 (KJV) He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding.
When Enemies Kiss and Friends Wound
Get ready to be wounded by those who love you! The one decorating you with kisses only is actually an enemy! The one that doesn’t correct you and tells you what you want to hear all the time is an enemy.
True love can be tough. God chastises those He loves! It pleased God for Jesus to be wounded so that we might be saved. It took a kiss from Judas for Jesus to be betrayed.
A kiss came from the devil because the Bible says Satan entered Judas. But a wound came from God to Jesus. He was wounded for our transgressions!
Your friend is a “wounder” and your enemy is a “kisser! Know this and know peace!
When you understand these dynamics, you will know that your spouse is not an enemy, the one who is not your spouse but is taking advantage and telling you stuff is actually an enemy!
Love Before And After Wedding: Why Falling in Love with the Wrong Person is Dangerous
Love is a beautiful feeling that everyone desires to experience. However, falling in love with the wrong person can have disastrous consequences. In this article, we will discuss the dangers of falling in love with the wrong person and why married couples must keep the love burning before and after the wedding.
Why fall in love with another person’s spouse?
Falling in love with another person’s spouse is not only immoral but also dangerous. Such desires waste your time, blind you to the original thing God wants to do in your life, and ultimately bring a delay in God’s individual plan for you. Besides, you will be endangering your life, and the wrath of a man or woman whose spouse is being trifled with is not something to experience.
It’s the same when you have sex with your neighbor’s wife: Touch her and you’ll pay for it. No excuses. Adultery is a brainless act, soul–destroying, self–destructive; Expect a bloody nose, a black eye, and a reputation ruined for good (Proverbs 6:29,32-33 Message)
Why fall in love with a person you cannot spend your life with?
Falling in love with someone you cannot spend your life with is a recipe for disaster. If you don’t like him or her, but you are in love, then something is amiss. If you know that he or she doesn’t like you but you are in love, then it’s time to apply the brakes.
You should not fall in love with a person who violates God’s principles, even if your parents, friends, or pastor approve of the relationship. Remember, you cannot love a person you don’t like.
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Why fall in love with a man because of money?
Money cannot buy love, and falling in love with a man because of money is the wrong purpose for sticking together. Such a man will eventually fail you because man is built to disappoint. Therefore, do not attempt to make a man your Jehovah Jireh.
Married Couples – Love Before And After Wedding
Marriage is a sacred institution that requires deliberate effort to keep the love burning. Married couples must fall in love with each other repeatedly to protect themselves from intense temptations and traps that are out there.
Do not allow the fire to go out in your marriage. Be creative, and never stop wooing each other. Take yourselves out again, toast each other again, get the flowers, and write the poems again! When you make that sacrifice for each other, you will have peace of mind in your marriage and be able to maximize the power of agreement that lies in a good marriage.
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What do you do when you find yourself in love with the wrong person?
If you find yourself in love with the wrong person, it’s time to walk away, run away, or fly away. Do not allow emotional connections to keep you in the wrong relationship.
You must save your soul by delivering yourself as a roe from the hand of the hunter and as a bird from the hand of the fowler (Proverbs 6:5).
Even though it can be uneasy, you must think about the inevitable agony that lies ahead, the consequences of disobedience that are sure to come, the disenfranchising of oneself from the favor and support of God, and the delay of God’s beautiful plan. When you sum them together, you will muster enough strength to fly away and say a “strong NO” to a wrong lifestyle. The beauty of it all is that God will be waiting to embrace you and make all things right!
Conclusion
In conclusion, falling in love before and after the wedding is a beautiful thing that can add depth and meaning to our lives. However, it is important to remember that not all love is created equal, and we must be discerning in our affections.
Falling in love with someone who is already married, for example, is not only morally wrong, but it can also lead to serious consequences and heartbreak for all parties involved. Likewise, falling in love with someone for their money or status is not true love and will ultimately lead to disappointment.
For married couples, falling in love with your spouse over and over again is an essential part of keeping the fire alive in your marriage. It takes effort and creativity, but the rewards are immeasurable.
And for those who find themselves in love with the wrong person, it is important to have the strength to walk away and choose a better path. By doing so, we can find true love and happiness in God’s plan for our lives.
Wrong Sources of Marital Advice. Marriage is an institution built on trust, respect, and communication. When two people decide to spend their lives together, they vow to be there for each other in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad. However, sometimes things can go wrong, and communication can break down. When this happens, it is not uncommon for one or both partners to turn to other people for advice or support. But how do you know if you are seeking advice from the wrong voices in your marriage? In this article, we will explore some of the signs that you may be seeking advice from the wrong people and offer some tips on how to find the right ones.
Your friends are biased
It is natural to turn to your friends for advice, but sometimes their advice can be biased. Your friends may have their own issues in their relationships that they are projecting onto your situation. Alternatively, they may have always had a negative view of your partner, which could color their advice. While your friends may mean well, it is essential to recognize that their advice may not always be objective.
Wrong Sources of Marital Advice
You turn to family members
Family members can also be biased. They may have their own issues with your partner or their own agenda. For example, if your parents went through a bad divorce, they may be overly protective and want to steer you away from any potential problems. While family members can be a great source of support, it is important to recognize their biases and take their advice with a grain of salt.
You seek advice from online forums
The internet can be a great resource for advice, but it can also be a breeding ground for misinformation. Online forums are often filled with anonymous people who may not have any qualifications or expertise in relationship counseling. It can be challenging to know who is offering sound advice and who is just trolling.
Wrong Sources of Marital Advice
You consult with co-workers
Your co-workers may be great people to commiserate with, but they are not necessarily relationship experts. Additionally, office politics can come into play, and your co-workers may have their own agenda. It is essential to keep work and personal life separate and not let office gossip influence your decisions.
You turn to social media
Social media can be a great tool for connecting with people, but it is not always the best place to seek advice. Social media is often filled with people who may not know you or your situation, and they may be quick to offer their opinions without having all the facts. Additionally, social media can be an echo chamber, where you are only hearing opinions that confirm your biases.
So, if these are the wrong voices, who are the right ones? The right voices are those who have experience and qualifications in relationship counseling. These may include licensed therapists, counselors, and coaches. Additionally, couples who have successfully navigated similar issues can be a great source of support and advice. Finally, it is essential to communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Your partner is the one who knows you and your situation the best, and they should be your primary source of support.
