Two Signs of A Toxic Marriage. Similar to how an ailment can afflict an individual without becoming evident for some time, a marriage can be unhealthy without the obvious manifestation of underlying issues.
Nonetheless, signs are bound to reveal themselves. Although there are numerous warning signs, we shall examine a few this morning.
Two Signs of A Toxic Marriage
1. Lack of a Spiritual Connection
A marriage in which the couple does not have a spiritual connection with God is likely to deteriorate with time.
Building a successful home necessitates the involvement of a higher power.
Psalm 127:1 (KJV) states, “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.”
It is only through the intervention of God that a house can become a home.
It is not enough to have a passing relationship with God; it must be built and nurtured.
This concept also applies to singles who are preparing to meet or are already in a courtship with their beloved. Falling in love with someone who does not have a profound spiritual connection is ill-advised.
It is effortless to discern whether an individual has a spiritual connection with God or not. His actions, words, choices, and priorities reveal the kind of person he is.
Don’t settle for just a good-looking partner; aim for a spiritually mature and deep individual.
A man who genuinely knows God will not resort to hitting or beating his wife, while a woman who is familiar with God will not be a perpetual source of annoyance to her husband.
Why did I say this is toxic? A person without a deep relationship with God will have no restraint and will eventually mess things up.
Two Signs of A Toxic Marriage
2. Lack of Accountability
An unaccountable couple is perched atop a keg of gunpowder that could detonate at any moment.
Wisdom is the foundation of life, and every error and setback is a manifestation of foolishness lurking within.
Accountability provides a means to learn from older couples and those who have been in your shoes before.
Falling in love with an unaccountable person is the most dangerous thing one can do in life. To those who have ears, hear now!
The saddest part of counseling is often the conversation that goes like this:
“Who is his/her pastor?” “He does not have a pastor.”
“What about his parents?” “His parents cannot speak to him. He won’t listen.”
“Does he listen to any of his friends?” “None of his friends can talk to him.”
“Then who does he listen to?” “He listens to nobody!”
Once an individual has alienated themselves from all authority figures, isolated themselves from any help, and disconnected themselves from those who can provide guidance, the situation becomes complicated.
Therefore, it is prudent to consider only those who are accountable when seeking a partner. For those already married, it is essential to address accountability lovingly and prayerfully.
This is toxic because marriage without accountability will resort to manipulation and the like, with nobody to correct the ignorance and arrogance that come with a life that is not accountable
May God assist us all.
These are two of the warning signs of an unhealthy marriage. I will be concluding here this morning.
Deconstructing the Significance of Saying ‘I Do’. When you said “I do” on your wedding day, something incredible happened. It’s almost crazy to think about it! Your body is no longer just your own; it now belongs to your spouse.
A powerful fusion takes place in the spiritual realm, so intense that even God declared, “let no man put asunder!”
God bears witness to this union, and any attempt to come between it is an attack on God Himself.
Deconstructing the Significance of Saying ‘I Do’
As believers who are rooted and grounded, the devil’s tactics against you are strategic.
If you’re a weak believer with no firm foundation, he can easily tempt you with adultery and infidelity, leading you astray from God.
But even for those who are firmly grounded, the devil still has tricks up his sleeve. His weapon is to keep you divided, to torment you with negative thoughts and perpetual strife.
Even though you may not be committing adultery, your negative thoughts can be just as destructive.
This negativity will infect your whole family because your thoughts have magnetic power and will affect everything around you.
Deconstructing the Significance of Saying ‘I Do’
How can you pray and agree together when one spouse’s mind is full of doubt, contempt, and dislike for the other?
This is the devil’s work, and it often shows up in small ways. Your spouse may seem happy and engaged when talking to others but then become easily irritated when it’s just the two of you.
The friend you fell in love with during courtship may seem to have disappeared!
Sometimes, this shows up as singles in courtship too. Unexplainable and perpetual irritation from one party could be an indication of deep-seated issues.
If you’re experiencing this, take responsibility for your own actions and ask God for help before blaming your spouse.
Blaming each other is like a General Manager who blames his employees for losses and the employees who blame the Manager for their ineffectiveness. It creates a stalemate!
Stop playing the blame game! It’s a trap from the devil. Instead, humble yourself and seek God’s guidance.
Deconstructing the Significance of Saying ‘I Do’
It is not a prudent use of your time to engage in fruitless endeavors, as there is a plethora of things to do!
What rationale exists for subjecting oneself to a forty-day fast, only to subsequently engage in four days of discordant behavior that serves to discredit one’s previous efforts?
What purpose is served by dedicating years to cultivating the growth of seeds, only to then carelessly uproot them with a thoughtless and egocentric tongue?
Decide to align yourself with a unified front in the face of the adversary that seeks to undermine the well-being of your soul.
From the moment you enter into holy matrimony, the prospect of achieving success through individual means is rendered null and void.
Therefore, it is incumbent upon you to eschew minor disputes and disagreements, and instead adopt a harmonious approach that enables both partners to partake in God’s favor.
For those in the courtship phase of a romantic relationship, the continued indulgence of contentious attitudes represents a gross misapplication of personal power and potential.
May the grace of the Almighty bless your relationships, marriages, and households, now and forevermore.
Unveiling The Hidden Passions Of Every Woman. This morning, I want to enter the shoes of a woman and write as though I am a woman. Are you ready?
Did you know that men and women are wired differently? Yup, we are! So, as a lady, I can tell you that there are some things that we all desire deep down. Here are five of the deepest desires of every woman, expressed in a more relatable manner:
1. Read my body language, babe!
Ladies can be complicated creatures, but that doesn’t mean you can’t try to understand us better! We’re not always the best with words, but we’re experts at non-verbal communication. So, if you really want to make us feel loved and understood, pay attention to our body language and try to pick up on our needs. Trust me, we’ll appreciate it!
Unveiling The Hidden Passions Of Every Woman
2. Slow down and show me some love!
Okay, guys, let me be real with you. Sometimes, you guys can be a bit too quick to get to the good stuff. But us ladies need a little more time to warm up, if you catch my drift. So, slow it down, take your time, and give us some extra attention and affection before we get down to the bedroom business. Trust me, it’ll be worth it!
Singles ladies you don’t need foreplay for anything! You don’t need any play!
Follow this advice here:
Son 2:7 (MSG) Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem, by the gazelles, yes, by all the wild deer: Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is ripe—and you’re ready.
It is clear from that scripture. Don’t stir anything up. All those making out, kissing, and smooching are nothing other than afflictions.
Unveiling The Hidden Passions Of Every Woman
3. Tell me I’m beautiful, baby!
We all have days where we don’t feel our best, and that’s when we need our man to step up and remind us just how beautiful we are. So, don’t just think it, say it! And don’t just tell us we look pretty, tell us why you think we’re beautiful. It’ll make all the difference, trust me!
For singles in courtship, it is okay to use good words and proclaim what you want to see in your future wife. Words are powerful, so use them to your advantage.
4. Surprise me, sugar!
There’s nothing quite like a surprise to show us how much you care. It doesn’t have to be anything big or expensive, just something that shows you were thinking of us. Whether it’s a thoughtful gift or a spontaneous outing, it’ll make us feel special and loved.
Unveiling The Hidden Passions Of Every Woman
5. Pray for me, honey!
Finally, one of the deepest desires of every woman is to feel spiritually connected with her man. So, don’t forget to pray for us, guys! It’s one of the best ways you can show us you care and it’ll fill us with confidence and peace. And trust me, we could all use a little more of that in our lives! How about prophesying into our lives regularly? That can be romantic too!
Singles, pray more than have fun all over the place. The cinemas, the beach visits, the outings, and the Ice creams are all good, but they should not be done at the expense of spiritual exercises like praying!
Three Must-Have Commitments In Marriage. When the fateful day arrived and you encountered that special person who made your heart sing, the sensation of fluttering butterflies in your stomach was undeniable. The thrill was almost tangible, with euphoric moments that intermingled in a delightful whirlwind.
However, after a few months, those once-vivacious butterflies had withered away, their once-vibrant wings broken and incapable of soaring. The colors that once illuminated your life faded, leaving a monotone existence. The cute smiles and tender laughter that previously sent shivers down your spine had now given way to frowns and curt, impolite body language and responses.
Poems were a thing of the past, and inspiration had simply vanished into thin air. Flowers were no longer gifted, and chocolates had been banned. Even ice cream had become a health hazard, and there was no time for cinematic or romantic excursions. Candlelit dinners had been replaced by the harsh glare of a light bulb. Simple gestures, like opening car doors and exchanging affectionate kisses, were things of the past.
Her once-charming dimples had melted away, and her smiles had lost their luster.
Couples who were once smitten with each other were now worlds apart, with a single phone call per week considered a luxury. What caused this change? Network disruptions and unpaid salaries had contributed, but the real issue was a lack of commitment.
Every couple should have commitments to one another that are verbalized, documented, and reiterated on a regular basis. These commitments must be deliberate and consciously made.
Three Must-Have Commitments In Marriage
What are some of these commitments? According to Ephesians 4:2 in the Amplified Bible, couples should “live as becomes you with complete lowliness of mind (humility) and meekness (unselfishness, gentleness, mildness), with patience, bearing with one another and making allowances because you love one another.”
Here are a few examples of these commitments:
Three Must-Have Commitments In Marriage
“I will always love you, dear.”
This should not be a mere platitude uttered out of boredom, but a sincere commitment that comes from the heart. This love should be unconditional, not dependent on attitudes, assumptions, or behaviors.
“I will never cheat on you.”
This particular commitment will have an immeasurable impact on your life and marriage. Adultery is a destructive force that works against your own well-being.
As the scripture states, “he that commits adultery lacks understanding.”
“I will always be there spiritually.”
How blessed it is to have a spiritual spouse! A spiritually sensitive spouse is not only a prayer warrior, but a lifelong partner who does not hold onto grudges and wounds.
Nothing in this world can replace a spouse who is attuned to the frequency of heaven and feels the heartbeat of God. How fortunate are those who are married to a God-chaser?
If you uphold these three commitments, the butterflies in your stomach will continue to dance!
Four Types of Men Women Don’t Want. In today’s dynamic world, change and adjustments are crucial. The purpose of this devotional is not to castigate men, but to emphasize the responsibility that God has entrusted to us as the head of our households. It’s an enormous responsibility that requires our utmost attention.
If you belong to any of the categories of men listed below, it’s high time you reevaluated your actions and made the necessary changes.
Let’s explore the three types of men that women don’t want.
Four Types of Men Women Don’t Want
1. The Nocturnal Husband
Gone are the days of being a bachelor. You’re now married, and you need to come to terms with this new reality.
Why do you persist in staying out late? It sends the wrong signal and is generally frowned upon. If your spouse is uncooperative, seeking counseling or a viable solution is a better option than engaging in late-night shenanigans.
It’s inconsiderate to keep your wife up at night, especially if she needs to rest. Avoid environments that can potentially lead to infidelity.
Singles, take note – you don’t automatically change your habits after marriage. Therefore, it’s best to eliminate any negative habits while single.
Four Types of Men Women Don’t Want
2. The Manipulator
This type of man uses money or other material possessions to coerce his partner into submission.
In the end, this behavior breeds resentment, bitterness, hurt, and a wounded spouse. These traits are detrimental to any relationship, particularly a marriage.
Such relationships are abnormal and not in line with God’s plan for healthy, loving relationships that provide a conducive environment for raising children.
As a single person in a relationship, avoid introducing money or gifts as rewards or punishments. It only fosters a money-driven relationship that lacks true love.
Four Types of Men Women Don’t Want
3. The Non-Spiritual Husband
This man is reluctant to provide spiritual guidance for his family. He’s evasive, makes excuses, and doesn’t prioritize God in their lives.
He doesn’t read his Bible or pray. Without a deliberate and conscious relationship with God, a man is handicapped in providing spiritual leadership.
The head is where the eyes are located, and as the head of the household, a man is expected to provide vision and insight to his family. He is their compass and navigation system.
However, a man without a relationship with God cannot see beyond his nose. His vision is impaired, and his capacity for insight is limited.
Singles, be mindful of the person you’re committing to. Ask questions and take the time to get to know them properly.
In conclusion, these are the three types of men that women don’t want. May your marriage be blessed.
Four Types of Men Women Don’t Want
4. The Abuser and Gas-lighter
These types of husbands are insecure. His insecurities are exhibited in being a control freak. He can’t allow his wife to have friends as everybody is a suspect. He resorts to abusive words and mental torture to put his wife under. He barrages her with words, constantly eroding her self-esteem till she believes she is good for nothing.
In some cases, domestic violence is involved as he would often go to any extent to tame his wife. This type of abuse may continue until he seeks help for his defects which he never sees or agrees with. This is why every marriage must have a mentor.
