I promised to write on the topic “How To Handle A Choleric Wife” especially to help young couples understand themselves and know why their wives act the way she does.
She is not just intentionally bossy, she has an inborn ability to want to lead. She means no harm when she wants to take charge and be in control.
If you have choleric for a wife, you are blessed but only if you know how to manage her well. She will handle things well and you can go to bed if you put her in charge of anything.
The choleric temperament is often tempered with some other secondary temperaments, making the choleric a little subdued.
Here are some of her other strengths and weaknesses and you can best deal with her.
Remember, in marriage, we all make adjustments and we deal with each other according to knowledge.
1. She is energetic, an extrovert, and a goal-getter.
She is never laid back, always in the forefront wherever she is. Her extrovertish nature makes her loud. She always wants to achieve something worthwhile.
Don’t try to keep her down. Try to harness her energy into something the family will benefit from. Celebrate her achievements and praise her for a job well done.
2. She could be inconsiderate, selfish and sharp-tongued
These are some of the weaknesses of the choleric temperament. Rather than being meek and calm, considerate and thoughtful, she is all out to achieve her goals and will do anything or step on any toe on her way. Her sharp tongue is needed to achieve.
Rather than fight her when she is inconsiderate and sharp-tongued, correct her by showing her it is wrong.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
3. Her being extrovert makes her have a lot of friends
She has no secrets and will often bear her heart out to friends. She may talk about her husband, their sex life, and anything that can be said to her friends, mother, sisters and anybody that hat cares to listen.
Don’t rebuke her too harshly. Some of her friends can actually be of help later in the future.
Teach her the dangers of having too many friends and not holding some information. We are meant to make the Holy Spirit our best friend.
4. She finds it difficult to submit
People who have lived with choleric ladies know that a choleric does not submit to anyone except maybe the person she respects greatly
5. She is opinionated
She has to be heard. She states her case intelligently and wants to win the argument all of the time. She wants people to do her bindings. If possible, she would conquer her husband and make him submit to her.
She knows how to talk and may be over-confident, which makes her husband uncomfortable.
You have to teach her from the Bible that every wife that must successfully live with her husband must make her husband feel secured
I will stop here today.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am supportive of my wife in all areas.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to be supportive of my wife in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to look at areas you can give your support and begin to give it.
Every sheep that will get the best from its shepherd must learn how to be still. Being still means to trust in the shepherd’s person, that he would never lead them to a place of danger or harm nor will he leave them in the face of trouble.
They trust him to take them to where the choicest grasses are and the cleanest of water is.
The Lord is my Shepherd. I have everything I need. He gives me rest in green pastures. He leads me to calm waters. Psalm 23:1-2 ICB
They follow behind him, and when he stops, they stop too. An obedient sheep knows to stay within the safe boundaries created by the shepherd.
It is not in the sheep’s place to teach the shepherd what to do but to watch, listen to and obey the shepherd at all times – to be still and follow the shepherd.
Do you obey your parents at home? When they tell you not to do something because of the bad things that could happen to you, do you listen to them? Or you do as you like, thinking you know what’s best for you?
A sheep doesn’t know what’s best for it. Only the shepherd does. Are you a good sheep following Jesus as your shepherd? Do you obey Him by obeying your parent’s instructions? Learn to be still and follow Jesus.
The most important question that you need to ask yourself right now is this—have you accepted Jesus into your life as your Lord and Saviour? If yes, are you obeying His leading?
If not, then say the prayer at the bottom of this post.
Prayer: Lord Jesus, I believe you are the son of God. Thank you for dying on the cross for me. I accept you into my life as Lord and Saviour. I want to be a sheep in your flock. Please be my shepherd. In your mighty name, I pray. Amen.
Action point: Look through this series and see where you can improve on.
Declaration: The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want
Today is Oil For Today – Day 204. Let’s lift up our voice one more time as we pray to God! Watch Video on Youtube HERE. Check other days HERE.
Scriptures For Today
Oil For Today – Day 204
Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.
3 John 1:2 KJV
Prayer Points For Today
Oil For Today – Day 204
1. Begin to thank the Lord for today.
2. Let the wish of the Father be done in my life and situation in Jesus name
3. Let there be an increase, advancement, and moving forward in my spiritual walk with God in Jesus name
4. Let me prosper in my mental capacity in Jesus name
5. Let here be financial increase and advancement to enable me to carry out my God-given assignment in Jesus name
6. Let me prosper in my body, fill my mouth with good things and renew my strength like the eagle n Jesus name
7. Let me prosper in my relationships, quality and God-ordained relationships that will advance my life in Jesus name
8. Let the blessing of the Lord be upon my life in Jesus name
9. Let the supernatural dimension of Gods power and anointing change my life in Jesus name
10. Begin to thank the Lord for answered prayers
Confession For Today
Oil For Today – Day 204
I prosper in my mind. My mindset is renewed to enable me to receive all the dimensions of God’s blessings. I have quality relationships, God-ordained covenant helpers of destiny are attracted to me. The blessing of the Lord that makes rich and adds no sorrow is upon me. I rejoice, laugh, and dance. My joy is intact. Today is an awesome day.
“Pray for God’s will. Pray for God’s perfect will for you. God’s perfect will is not always a Mr. Perfect!”
“What if he doesn’t look handsome enough?”
“What if he looks dashing and handsome and after the wedding, after you have fed him well, he departs from your definition of handsome and six-packs become amusement park? Will you divorce him?”
“So, how do I choose now?”
“First, know that God will never lead you wrong.”
“Secondly, it is only God that knows the one you will love now and will still love in another fifty years.”
“Thirdly, your brain is not designed to know the best spouse for you, Only God can help you decide who is the best person that is not only physically dashing but also spiritually prepared for your destiny.”
“Fourthly, stop looking for inadequacies, look out for God’s direction.”
“Fifthly, if he is born again and filled with the Holy Spirit, with no character flaws or habitual sins, the only thing that remains is God’s leading.”
“So, ask God to lead you. Ask him to help you. Ask for the leading of the Holy Spirit. He is the helper. He knows the best for you.
“Wow!”
“Stop using your brain to judge!”
“What if God shows someone to me and he is not physically attractive?”
“God is intelligent. He is not an author of confusion. God is love and He will never lead you to someone you hate and loathe. On the contrary, it is your feelings that can deceive you that you are in love with someone that you will really hate tomorrow!”
“I understand now!
“So I could have missed my man?”
“Possibly, but all hope is not lost. You just need to get back in God, trust His direction and He will have mercy on you!“
“But in all of these, know that an unbeliever or a believer with habitual sins/character issues is a no-go-area.”
“Thanks, Joy! I’m blessed!”
“I pray that God will lead you indeed!”
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open my eyes to the realities of life.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Romans 14:17 [KJV]For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.
This is not an absolute and ‘one answer fits all’ situation approach. There is always an exception to the rule. That is why the best thing that can happen to any married couple is to be filled with the Holy Spirit, to be a child of God, and to walk with God and know His voice.
It is a privilege to have access to the wisdom of God and He can always tell you what to do in your own peculiar circumstances.
I have witnessed the Holy Spirit help me through certain difficult times in my marriage and I am so grateful for those times.
We are talking about husbands and I believe by God’s Grace, I will also write about the wives.
We have four basic temperaments and other temperament blends. We also have modifications of our temperaments based on different factors such as our background, the environment we were raised in, our parents, their beliefs, exposure, the schools we attended, our religious beliefs, circumstances surrounding our childhood, childhood experiences, etc.
Now, you have to understand who you have married. Without understanding, you cannot be an effective helpmeet, and then it’s impossible for you to submit.
These are some qualities of a choleric husband and how to live with him based on knowledge.
1. A choleric is goal-oriented
That means he lives for achievement. He must achieve something. It is not impossible he cancels luxury at home just to cater for his goals.
Join him in whatever he wants to achieve and support him all the way. Encourage him. Don’t fight him or his goals. A choleric fight to finish and makes it a goal to accomplish.
2. A choleric is an obstacle crusher
A choleric crushes whatever is on his way to achieving that goal. Join him don’t criticize him.
3. A choleric is sharped tongued
It is not impossible he is seen verbally abusing his wife and lashing at her. Gently correct him when the event has passed.
4. He is egocentric
Don’t touch the ego. Help massage it especially in the way you talk. Talk to him in a soft tone and he will listen.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
5. A choleric maybe inconsiderate and selfish or self-centered
Whenever he is like this, point his attention to what he is doing.
6. He may defer helping
He may not help out in his wife’s project if it is not his project
Make sure you are not offended. Stand your ground but please be open.
7. A choleric husband makes coarse jokes or comments.
Guide against being offended. Be mature and don’t let his sarcasm get at you. Bear your mind out not in a fight but in honest conversation, maybe later, so that he won’t see you as contesting his ‘simple’ joke.
8. He wants to be in control and he is authoritative
See the good part of this. See it as being a strong leader and celebrate that he is being a man.
Don’t become a jelly under his authority. Enjoy him leading you. You don’t want to be in a position where the wife takes decisions.
There are more, but basically, you handle being married to a choleric husband not by being hurt, in strife, contention, or bitterness, you handle this by being honest and sincere with the way you feel.
God bless our marriages.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am supportive of my husband in all areas.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to be supportive of my husband in Jesus’ name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to look at areas you can give your support and begin to give it.
