Stress can simply be defined as a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances.
This definition helps us to understand that stress is a tension or strain and it could be mental or emotional. It could also be physical or spiritual.
Jesus talked about those who are weary and heavy laden
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 NLT
Usually, since we are spirit beings, any strain on our spiritual life will have a way of impacting our whole being. Whatever affects our relationship with God affect the whole of our being.
Chief among the things that causes stress or strain on our relationship with God is sin.
So it’s possible, to have an unconfessed sin in your life and be doing through stress as a result.
Or maybe we fail to put our trust in God, or maybe we are walking in the flesh or not following the leading or guidance of the Holy spirit. All this causes us stress which will eventually cause a strain in our marriage.
A good example of this is when Abram and Sarah decided to get pregnant by Hagar and gave birth to Ishamel. There was so much strain and tension in the marriage.
Anger, strife, malice, not walking in love and all other works of the flesh also causes stress in marriage
There are some other stressors in marriage that are not as a result of sin but are the once we put on ourselves.
I will mention a few of them.
1. Financial pressure 2. Dealing with in-laws 3. Comparison 4. Doing beyond ourselves 5. Not minding our business 6. Not being able to say No 7. Being Unforgiving to our spouse 8. Not being open and transparent. 9. Unrealistic expectations 10. Ungratefulness
Now let’s handle these stressors one by name. To open our eyes to how these simple issues can bring about and cause a lot of stress to our marriage thereby causing a strain in our relationship with our loved one.
1. Financial pressures and not being able to manage our finances.
We know that money answereth all things
A feast is made for laughter, and wine maketh merry: but money answereth all things. Ecclesiastes 10:19 KJV.
Our ability to cut our coat according to our cloth will go a long way to determine whether we will be putting a lot of stress on our marriage or not.
Delaying gratification, being able to save a little portion for the rainy day no matter his small, being prudent, living on a budget and not being sentimental are all very good virtues.
2. Dealing with in-laws.
This requires a lot of wisdom, tact, patience and working together with your spouse to make sure you are always together on the same page. The most important person in this equation is your spouse. The covenant of marriage places your spouse above your parents.
You honor your parents, bible is very clear about that but you also don’t dishonor your spouse for the sake of your parents or in-laws. There is no one answer fits all but whichever way, follow the bible and follow the Holy spirit guidelines.
There may be times you have to sacrifice beyond what you normally would have, if you are sure God is leading you, obey. God usually rewards such acts tremendously.
Let me stop here today. I will continue tomorrow by God grace.
May God grant us more understanding beyond this teaching.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a wise spouse. I know how to relate with people.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, give me wisdom
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
Lift up your voice, appreciate and bless the name of the Lord.
I will extol You, my God, O King; And I will bless Your name forever and ever. Psalm 145:1
Nation/Church
Father, remember our nation and church in your mercy in the name of Jesus.
O LORD, I have heard Your speech and was afraid; O LORD, revive Your work in the midst of the years! In the midst of the years make it known; In wrath remember mercy. Habakkuk 3:2
Pastors/Parents/Mentors
Father, raise up our pastors, parents and mentors in the name of Jesus.
After two days He will revive us; On the third day He will raise us up, That we may live in His sight. Hosea 6:2
Finances
We ask for restoration, revival and refreshing in our finances in the name of Jesus.
Restore our fortunes, LORD, as streams renew the desert. Psalm 126:4
Family
(SINGLES) – Relationship and settling down.
(MARRIED) – Spouse and Children
Will You not revive us again, That Your people may rejoice in You? Psalm 85:6
Warfare
I receive restoration in the name of Jesus.
Restore us, O LORD God of hosts; Cause Your face to shine, And we shall be saved! Psalm 80:19
Desire this Month
Mention your specific request for the month of May to God in prayers.
Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. James 4:8
Psalm 91 Declaration
Recite the whole of Psalm 91 prayerfully and believe every word in your heart.
Psalm 91
Blood Declaration
I am purified by the blood of Jesus.
And according to the law almost all things are purified with blood, and without shedding of blood there is no remission. Hebrews 9:22
I have access and enjoy communion with the Holy Spirit in the name of Jesus.
The grace (favor and spiritual blessing) of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the presence and fellowship (the communion and sharing together, and participation) in the Holy Spirit be with you all. Amen (so be it). 2 Corinthians 13:14
Healing
I receive my healing now in the name of Jesus.
For I will restore health to you And heal you of your wounds,’ says the LORD, ‘Because they called you an outcast saying: “This is Zion; No one seeks her.”‘ Jeremiah 30:17
Favour/Mercy Today
Father, cause your goodness and mercy to follow me in the name of Jesus.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the LORD Forever. Psalm 23:6
We are constantly on a journey of improving ourselves better and our skills as husbands and wives. I said skills because it takes mastering the skills of living successfully with each other.
There’s an art of talking, listening, being tolerant, handling in-laws, handling finances, being romantic, being kind and generous, being submissive to one another, praying together. They are all arts that have to be mastered in marriage.
Always remember that the marriage is made up of individuals with different ideas, opinions, viewpoints, and different ways of reasoning. Give each other space to express their individuality in the context of marriage.
Challenging each other to be better is first of all recognizing each other’s uniqueness. It is not about making your spouse your puppet, where all initiatives are dead, but about recognizing your differences and appreciating them.
You should draw each other closer to God. A closer walk with God will make the couple better, they will make one another better spouse. Encourage each other on their daily study of the word, meditation in the word, obedience to the word which is very important.
Obeying the word you read or doing what God ask you to do is more important than reading the word. Encouraging each other to have quality time alone with God is very essential not just in becoming a better christian but in becoming a better spouse.
‘And we beholding him are being transformed from one level of glory to another as by one spirit’. That is God’s word. The transformation occurs in our spirit and it is evident in our outward lives.
Rom 12:1 (Amp) “I appeal to you therefore, brethren and beg of you in view of (all) the mercies of God, to make a decisive dedication of your bodies (presenting all your members and faculties) as a living sacrifice holy (devoted, consecrated) and well pleasing to God which is your reasonable ( rational intelligent) s ice and spiritual worship.
As you obey God, your marriage will begin to take a new toll. Marriage in the eyes of God cannot and is not meant to be lived by an non-spiritual person. It takes being spiritual and dead to the flesh to have a successful marriage.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will be exalted because God exalts the humble.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, surround me with people that will aid my destiny in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. (Proverbs 13:20 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Discuss who you will be accountable to.
Sade stood afar watching how the crowd pushed towards the table stand where some girls stood, sharing fliers for a singing audition. She loved to sing but wasn’t so sure she would make an audition. Her toothbrush was her microphone and her younger brother was no help at all. So it was as though her faith was low. She moved towards the crowd, biting her lips and clenching her fists.
“Here goes nothing”, she told herself as she got closer.
There was a lady in the bible who felt just the way Sade did. A woman with a long-standing health issue stood where Jesus was. She had heard of how Jesus had been healing people and wondered if He would heal her. But she had faith!
The woman thought, “If I can even touch his coat, that will be enough to heal me.” Mark 5:28 ICB
After much deliberation, she found her way through the thick crowd around Jesus and touched the hem of His garment. Instantly she was healed and Jesus knew someone had touched Him. He asked who had, the woman came forward, told Him her condition and He further prayed for her (Mark: 5:29-34). Now that’s faith there!
I’m sure the woman too said, ” Here goes nothing”, as she went ahead to touch Jesus’ garment. Just like Sade did too.
You never know what will happen if you don’t take that much-needed step. Are you still unsure of taking that step forward to accept Christ as your Saviour and Lord? You think He will reject you or that you are not good enough for Him? Jesus Christ will never reject anybody that comes to Him. He loves you more than you could ever imagine. Simply have faith.
So, take a bold step today and touch the hem of His garment, let Him help you. May the help of God always find you, Amen.
Prayer: Lord, Jesus, like the woman with the issue of blood, I hold on to the hem of your garment. I have faith, and I receive all that I need right now. In Your mighty name, I pray, amen
Action plan: Reach out to Jesus today and always. Touch His garment daily and as much a stout need to.
If as singles not yet married, you are not cool at all!
You are more like carrying fire in your bosom!
Okay pastor, show me in the scripture where kissing is wrong!
Well, you will never find anywhere in the scripture where the Bible says ‘thou shall not kiss! In fact, if the Bible says anything about it, it is the fact that we can kiss one another with a holy kiss! Why then do we make so much issue and big deal on what the scripture says we are advised or commanded to do?
So, let’s take a look at the scriptures.
Greet one another with an holy kiss. (2 Corinthians 13:12 KJV)
Greet all the brethren with an holy kiss. (1 Thessalonians 5:26 KJV)
Salute one another with an holy kiss. The churches of Christ salute you. (Romans 16:16 KJV)
It is true that the Bible says, we should kiss one another with a holy kiss, but you need to understand the cultural context under which that is said!
The Jews normally kiss one another with a kiss.
If you remember, Jesus was even saying at a time nobody offered him a kiss. That is because a kiss at the side of the mouth is a form of greeting in Jewish culture.
Thou gavest me no kiss: but this woman since the time I came in hath not ceased to kiss my feet. (Luke 7:45 KJV)
If you also see the scriptures above, they use the word “greet” and “salute” with a kiss. This Jewish cultural practice dates back to the Old Testament days.
And his father Isaac said unto him, Come near now, and kiss me, my son. (Genesis 27:26 KJV)
Having established that this is a Jewish cultural practice, we can understand that this is not our culture in this side of the world. The western world is also a little bit disposed to greeting with a kiss without lust attached. But in a place like Nigeria, we don’t greet with a kiss!
In our culture, (even though this is fast disappearing) when a boy wants to greet his father, in some part of Nigerian culture, he prostrates. A girl kneels down! As the lady grows older, she is taught to genuflect when she wants to give something to an older person.
My point? There are holy kisses and there are unholy kisses! The Jewish kiss is holy because it is a form of greeting! The Nigerian kiss is unholy because it is not a form of greeting! Period!
If I walk into a meeting to preach with my wife beside me, and one of the ushers grabs my wife and plants a kiss saying “welcome ma,” I am going to remove my suit and fight real good!
Somebody will say, “but you are a pastor,” and I will say “Yes, and that is why I am fighting!” Why is that example funny? Because we don’t greet with kissing in this part of the world!
That is why we often do it behind doors!
If I am kissing my wife behind the church and you bump into us, you will have to apologize. If I bump into you kissing a girl you are not married to, you are still the one that will apologize!
The problem with kissing as we see it in this part of the world and why we say you should avoid it as much as possible, is that it will lead you into some other sexual sins! Before you know it, you are involved in Jericho trap!
Whatever you did the last time you met, will not satisfy you the next time you meet because intimacy will increase when two people are in love, which will keep calling for more physical expression. That is what the law of progression says. Sincerely, there is nothing wrong with a peck, but the question is will you stay on that alone? Your body will call for more!
I usually tell ladies, you cannot submit your lips to a guy for kissing like you are submitting a paper in the exam hall. If the guy is hungry, let him go to the market and buy Kpomo (a type of meat from cowhide). Must it be your mouth he turns into food?
As Married Couples, don’t stop kissing one another in marriage. Do it regularly and at all times!
Singles, wait for your time, okay? Don’t fan the embers, stay off every form of iniquity!
A lady came into my office years ago with her mouth doubled up like she’s been hit. I said, “what’s wrong with you, who hit you?” She hesitated and she knew she couldn’t lie. So she said, “it is one rough kisser!” Can you imagine?
That one is not a Jewish kiss, nor Nigerian kiss, that is a German kiss! Just kidding!
When you are married, if you like, you can decide to kiss from morning till evening. God will say, “Well done!” But not before marriage!
The power of life and death lies in your mouth, keep it well. Your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost! Respect it!
Married Couples, don’t stop kissing one another in marriage. Do it regularly and at all times! Singles, wait for your time, okay? Don’t fan the embers, stay off every form of iniquity and God will help you.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I discipline myself. I put my body under.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for grace to stay chaste in thoughts, words, and deeds.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Corinthians 9:27 (KJV) But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.
