Top 56 Valuable Lessons from the 56-Year Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer
Joyce and Dave Meyer have been married for over 56 years. In their Video, Talk It Out, they share candidly about the highs and lows of their journey together. Joyce notes early on in their 5-date courtship, they didn’t truly know each other. Yet through divine intervention, they found themselves bonded for life.
Based on this conversation with celebrated life coach and bestselling author Joyce Meyer and her husband Dave, here are some invaluable insights on how to build a strong, God-honoring marriage.
1. Joyce and Dave Meyer discuss the ups and downs of their early marriage and how their thinking has changed over the years.
2. Dave knew marriage was forever so he never thought about changing Joyce or leaving if things didn’t improve.
3. They had to learn about each other through experiences and God helped Dave deal with difficult situations. Over decades, Joyce and Dave Meyer learned to accept each other fully as God designed.
4. Dave applies relevant scriptures like Ephesians 5:28 to situations rather than dwelling on problems.
5. Joyce explains she came from a difficult childhood which manifested in erratic, emotionally volatile behaviors in their first years of marriage. She recalls giving Dave the silent treatment for weeks at a time when upset.
6. Dave remained steadfast, understanding where Joyce’s hurt originated while navigating ups and downs to learn about her. He displayed remarkable strength and commitment to their vows.
Common Mistakes in Marriage.
7. Trying to change your spouse instead of letting them be who they are. Realizing their unique qualities complement one another affirms God’s plan for oneness in marriage.
8. Joyce acknowledges trying to change Dave was misguided since transformation must come from within.
9. From the start, Dave viewed marriage as permanent, avoiding the “threat” mindset some have of changing or divorcing a spouse.
10. Focusing on what’s wrong with your spouse instead of what’s right is a common mistake.
11. Thinking you have to be happy for your spouse to be happy instead of each being responsible for their own happiness.
Handling Differences of Opinion.
12. It’s normal to have different opinions and likes in a marriage.
13. Compromise by allowing each person to decorate their own space.
14. It’s okay to disagree as long as you don’t think your spouse is wrong for having a different view.
15. Joyce recommends couples make a side-by-side list of each other’s positive and negative traits. For her and Dave, the good vastly outweighed the bad. By shifting mental focus to a spouse’s virtues, small flaws seem insignificant.
Dealing with Financial Disagreements.
16. Joyce and Dave Meyer advised that you talk through finances and goals before marriage to avoid surprises.
17. Needs can change over time so revisit financial agreements.
18. Understand each other’s perspectives and fears around money.
Dave’s Experience with Saving Money as a Youth.
19. Dave shares how he learned the value of saving money from a young age. He explains how at 16 years old, he saved one thousand dollars cutting grass and selling items to buy his first car.
20. Dave emphasizes the importance of prioritizing spending money on important goals.
Accepting Each Other as God Made Us.
21. Joyce and Dave Meyer are different. Dave is more logical while Joyce processes things verbally.
22. One frequent source of disagreement between spouses is having differing communication styles.
23. Joyce mentioned how she likes to verbally process situations by talking through all the angles, while Dave prefers a more direct, logical approach. It’s not that either way is wrong, but recognizing these distinctions is important. They’ve realized God made them this way and focusing on each other’s strengths has helped.
24. When Joyce was unhappy, Dave modeled finding joy regardless through stable faith.
25. As Christians, we are not to let others dictate our moods but lead by example. Joyce was inspired to mirror Dave’s contentment.
26. Misunderstandings often arise when partners don’t understand each other’s methods of thinking and reasoning through problems.
27. Surrender fully to God’s design for oneness. Appreciate differences as completing each other.
28. Apply biblical solutions in tough times, not human reasoning. Prioritize your spouse’s well-being through humility, patience, and consistent prayer.
We will continue with Part 2 of Top 56 Valuable Lessons from the 56-Year Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer tomorrow.
Having a sexual relationship outside marriage is a sin in itself and God doesn’t approve of that kind of arrangement. However, within marriage, withholding intimacy is one way that a person can be abused emotionally, by using withdrawal to control the other person.
In the sanctity of a marriage relationship, you are not supposed to deny each other. The scriptures say that you should not defraud one another.
Married ladies should not use sex to punish their husbands as that may lead to more vulnerability.
Signs of Abusive Relationships Part 2
9. Words like arrows
Another sign of emotional manipulation is when you are called names, given unpleasant labels, derogatory nicknames, and the use of biting cutting remarks.
Words are powerful and you are what you hear everyday. A guy goes to Medical school, listens to medical classes for seven years and then becomes a Medical Doctor. The same thing with a lawyer.Invariably, you are what you are hearing. You should therefore not allow anybody to constantly pull you down and trample on your esteem all in the name of love.
Love will not constantly put you down! Love will not crush your esteem day after day. If one or more of these signs are prevalent in your relationship, you may need to pause and review it.
Listen to me, marriage does not change abusers. It is better to remain single and wait for the right person than to rush into a marriage with an abuser because of the pressures around you.
When the abuse takes a toll, all the people putting pressure will not be seen around you.
The last day you would see most of them is on your wedding day to eat your food!
As my wife would always says, you will live with your choice!
Signs of Abusive Relationships Part 2
10. Personal information
Lastly, abusers can often resort to using your personal information and secrets against you and to control you. This is why you have to beware of people who are always asking for your nude pictures.
Why would a person who claims to be a child of God be asking for your nude pictures?
There is something perverse about that.
Is it to masturbate or what? Or to sell the pictures? Young ladies, don’t ever send you nude pictures to anyone in the name of love.
He would eventually use your pictures to manipulate and control you, and when you call his bluff, you would find your nude pictures all over the internet.
Several young girls have committed suicide when they couldn’t bear with the shame of having their nude pictures and videos all over the internet. So, don’t ever make that mistake.
Remember the scripture we saw earlier? Your souls has escaped like a bird out of the snare of the flower!
Fly away from all demonic and manipulative relationships.
Pro 6:5 (KJV) Deliver thyself as a roe from the hand of the hunter, and as a bird from the hand of the fowler.
Cut off that relationship where you are being oppressed.Let the wrong person go so that the right person can show up! I pray that God will grant you more understanding!
We began an interesting topic some days back – understanding God as our ever-present help. And we are exploring Psalms 46:1-3. I told you I was going to take my time to explain the words in the scripture and help you understand what the bible was saying.
We started with “God is our refuge”
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth gives way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. – Ps 46:1-3 NIV
The next phrase we will be considering says
God is our strength
The word strength can be defined as the quality or state of being strong. This simply means in God, there can never be any form of weakness.
This scripture comes to mind whenever you feel weak, inadequate, incapable, or inefficient. All you need to do at such times is to roll out this scripture over and over again until you literarily feel strength first on your inside, then in the physical.
See another verse of the bible that you can draw strength from.
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. – Philippians 4:13
Dear children, do not fret or feel weakened. The God you serve has promised to be a source of strength to you.
May I also add that the word strength can also mean a source of mental or emotional support. This implies God can be your source of support whenever you feel drained emotionally.
Face your day with this kind of confidence and you will see God come through for you.
Prayer: Dear Father, help me to always trust in your word. Amen.
Action point: Dedicate time to meditate on God’s word
Declaration: God is my refuge and strength, my ever-present help in trouble.
Take a look at your family. Find out the greatest source of income for your family. Focus on it and add your strength to that.
Don’t get competitive with yourselves, you are one! A competitive heart will hinder your prayers.
Love each other genuinely and be committed to your spouse’s success. The success of the husband belongs to the wife and vice versa.
It is so important that you rally around yourselves.
Trying to be successful in other to “show” your spouse is nothing but yielding to the flesh.
Oh, Pastor, what am I supposed to do? You sure don’t know my spouse! Well, my dear, you are supposed to walk in love.
Love will always bring victory.
Be committed to doing it in God’s way.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
Obviously, some things did not work beforehand. Some ways of doing things did not work. They are not likely to work this time as well. So, you need to make changes. Adjustments.
What is family altar like? Do you pray together daily? It’s so important. Those are some changes you need to make.
Take a look at your family. Make those changes and expect the best from God.
I pray that every marital storm be abated in Jesus’ name.
God will extend peace to you like a river in Jesus’ name.
May God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR TODAY The Lord is our strength
PRAYER FOR TODAY Father teach us to walk in love
THOUGHT OF THE DAY By their fruits, ye shall know them.
ACTION PLAN OF TODAY Make a decision to leave old unprofitable habits today.
