Ask yourself these questions before saying ‘I do’. Ask these questions before you fall in love, and every sense of reasoning disappears!
1. Can I see myself in the picture of his future?
What’s his future like based on what he is doing now? What is he doing now? Who is she? What kind of work or job is he/she into? Does this person love God? Is he protective of my virtue or does not mind me compromising?
2. Do I love him/her enough for marriage?
Can I live with him till death do us part? Do I really love him or her or am I just going into this marriage for something I can get like money or some influence?
3. Am I proud of him/her physically, mentally, and spiritually?
Do I like his or her appearance? Would I be embarrassed introducing him or her to friends?
4. Will my kids be proud and approve of him/her?
Would he be a great example? Is he a man of his word? Does he have integrity? Would he influence my children to drink, smoke, and to some other vices? Would she be a good mother? Is he a loafer or very hardworking? Is she enterprising?
Let’s continue tomorrow.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I possess wisdom, wisdom directs my actions. I am not blindly in love that I do not apply wisdom. I am patient to find out what I need to find out before saying ‘I do’.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to do my part and follow your leading in my decisions, especially in the area of my relationship. I receive fresh wisdom from you to direct my path in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ask (questions), and the answer shall be given you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. –Matthew 7:7
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take a pen and paper and write down all the questions you are going to ask the person you intend to marry, whether he/she is already around or not. Be prepared, so you are not so much in love that all sense of reasoning is gone.
In these days and these times, you fall in love deliberately and with your eyes open, not hopelessly and thoughtlessly!
You don’t fall in love or walk down the aisle in marriage without taking into considerations some pertinent questions in order to protect yourself and to be sure you know what you are doing!
Gone are those days when you should fall in love blindly and go into a marriage without your common sense!
Well, if you are still with the slogan that love is a blind, I have news for you, marriage is an eye opener. Reality settles in after marriage.
It is for this reason careless marriages end few months after! Trust me, I get calls every other day, of brides who are still supposed to be in the moon taking some honey, crying and weeping profusely and talking about regrets.
I get calls of ladies who are married for less than six months and they want to walk out of the marriage because they never knew ‘he was like this!’
There is a popular saying that God gave us brains that He may rest! It is true because after God finished the work of creation, the bible says God rested.
I believe God is resting because everything is completed, all we need for life and Godliness is already provided.
The same is true of our relationships, everything we ever need is already available, we only need to look within us and draw it out.
Part of drawing all we need, I believe, is asking ourselves certain questions.
Questions are very powerful, what they do is that they draw out wisdom from within us or from people around us who are graced with such wisdom.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I possess wisdom, wisdom directs my actions. I am not blindly in love that I do not apply wisdom. I am patient to find out what I need to find out before saying ‘I do’.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to do my part and follow your leading in my decisions especially in the area of my relationship.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY ‘Ask (questions), and the answer shall be given you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you’. –Matthew 7:7
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take a pen and paper and write down all the questions you are going to ask the person you intend to marry, whether he/she is already around or not.
I have been married for over 20 years and I can categorically tell you, love is not blind at all.
Love is a serious business, that you engage in with all your five senses intact and even the sixth one.
Sometimes ago, I was revisiting the marriage vows taken from a wedding I attended. I thought to myself, most people taking these vows don’t understand half of what they are saying. Then I felt like the wedding day sermon should be spent on explaining a little about the vows.
Many couples spend most of their time together praying. Is it that prayers or praying together is not good? Absolutely, it is 100% good.
Many other couples spend most of their time talking. Is it that talking is not good, (depending on what they are talking about). Absolutely, good.
Marriage is both spiritual and physical, so we have to take care of the spiritual aspect as well as the physical aspect. Talking to God will handle the spiritual aspect while talking together about issues will handle the physical aspect.
We cannot enjoy the marriage and maximize our full marital potential by engaging in one at the expense of another. We have to pray as though our marriage depended on our prayers and we also have to talk as though our marriage depended on it.
When I mean talk, I mean talk to yourselves, not about something or someone. All most couples do is talk about events, news, something or someone, they hardly talk about themselves. They simply gossip and that is all they do.
Most of your time together must be spent on talking about yourselves, leave the remaining to talk about other events or issues.
Love is no longer blind. Some of us had loose ends before marriage that has left us as prey to the enemy. We should not be afraid to talk and trash out issues after all, we get to know ourselves by asking and answering questions.
There has to be a balance between praying and talking. No matter how long you have been married, we should go back to asking ourselves pertinent questions, and write our discussions down. At least God wrote down His thoughts.
These serves as our projections, our values, our commitment. We get to know and understand each other’s expectations.
One of the major causes of problems in marriage is unmet expectations. We have expectations our spouse didn’t even know anything about. They are not aware of those expectations not to talk of meeting them.
Talk, ask questions. What are your expectations in marriage? What do you want from me? Were you in cult when you were in school? What is your vision in life? What do we do to avoid divorce? What do we do to have a blissful marriage? What can I do that you will never forgive me? And so many questions.
Keep asking questions and talking all through your marriage. Your words together coupled with your prayers are knitting your hearts together until the Twain became one flesh, and nothing will be able to put you asunder.
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. – Mat 19:6 (KJV)
May God grant us more understanding in Jesus name. May God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My eyes of understanding are open.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me in every you can in the name of Jesus
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. – Mat 19:6 (KJV)
You are asking this to know if his plans will accommodate and complement your own.
There are some career combinations that just would not go together. Find out if you are getting married to a sailor that may not be around several months of the year!
If you are very clingy and you cannot bear seeing people around your husband, then don’t marry a Pastor!
“Is there anyone here who, planning to build a new house, doesn’t first sit down and figure the cost so you’ll know if you can complete it?
Luk 14:28 (MSG)
4. Sisters and Mum?
How does he relate with mum and sisters? It is an indication of how he would relate to you!
If you hear him over the phone shouting and screaming at his siblings, well, the handwriting is clear on the wall what you should expect in a few weeks after the wedding.
5. Values
What are his values in life? If he goes like “I am a free thinker. I only attend church when I feel like.”
That shows some value conflict, right?
If your values are at variance, it is an indication that numerous quarrels and disagreements are in the offing.
On a final note, please understand these questions are not to turn you into a questionnaire!
The intent is not to use questions to disregard God’s direction.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered. Kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals, kindly go HERE
If all your questions are not properly answered and yet you have the peace of God, please proceed, because it is only God that knows tomorrow.
However, in such cases, you have to make sure it is really peace, and not a feeling.
It is important to ask these questions, pray and seek God’s direction before falling in love.
When you have fallen in love, you really would not care about any questions or answers!
I pray that God will grant us more understanding.
You will not miss it in Jesus name!
Ee o ni bo si owo alawin ni oruko Jesu! (You won’t fall in love with the wrong person in Jesus name)
Be Blessed!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will marry rightly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, lead me to the right person for me.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 30:21 [KJV] And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.
What time is it? What’s the time now? When are we leaving? When should I take my drugs? When should I eat? When is the test starting? When is mummy coming back? When is the party starting?
These are just some questions people ask because they want to know when to do something or go somewhere. And knowing when to do or go somewhere is a deciding factor on how successful what they want to do or go will be.
In the bible, the book of Ecclesiastes speaks about this subject, saying that there is a particular time for everything. Yes, there is a time for everything in this world. God is the master at this; He knows when is right for any thing that is to be done. He knew when it was right for you to be born. He chose the date, country, and place for you.
Understanding how to manage your time well will help you a lot in life. Knowing when to speak, not speak, act, not act and more will help you get out of some situations.
There’s a time for you to study as there’s when it is okay for you to watch cartoons. There’s also when it is right for you to sleep, and also when it is right to wake up and prepare for school. There’s when to eat and when to fast. Understand all these facts and you will be very good in managing this precious gift.
Above all, God wants you to use your time well, especially for Him. May God teach you how to manage this gift well. Amen.
Prayer: Lord, teach me how to use my time well. I don’t want to waste this gift in Jesus’ name, amen.
Action plan: Pick a jotter and pen and start to plan your day.
