God’s word remains the only authentic manual for living a fruitful married life and indeed every other aspect of our lives
Marriage is not meant to be lived without God. How do you get God involved in your marriage except by finding out of His word says in every different aspect?
The issue of forgiveness is very crucial in marriage. We must guide ourselves on how to handle hurts and offenses such that they don’t degenerate into bitterness and finally get to a point where your spirit is closed against your spouse.
Marriage is a union that is meant to multiply our strength. One is meant to chase a thousand and two of us in marriage put ten thousand to flight.
Yet marriage is the place where most offenses occur, mostly because of temperamental differences, background differences, and male/ female differences.
Pressures of different sorts occur in marriage. Unmet expectations, challenges, and changes happen in marriage and all these cause the very foundation of our marriage to be shaken. Arming ourselves with the right knowledge and getting the strength to help us navigate this aspect of our marital journey is very important.
That hurts will not come is living in a fool’s paradise. Let’s look at what God’s word says
2 Cor 6:3 Giving no offence in anything, … We are to make sure we are not easily offended. Don’t easily be offended. Grow a thick skin to being offended. Holding offenses is not even good for our health.
Learn to let go quickly. I know it is not an easy pill to swallow. I also know, that depending on the magnitude of the offense, it becomes really hard to let go. Yet God’s word must be obeyed.
Matt 18:7 Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!
Offenses MUST come. This is a reality in marriage. We are not expecting it but we are armed with how to handle offenses quickly when they show up.
I think that is a fair way to live.
Let’s look at what God’s word has to say about forgiveness
Matt 6:15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses
If we don’t forgive from our hearts, we stand the risk of having God holding our shortcomings against us. We are always in need of the mercy of God. So one of the reasons we forgive our spouse is because we also offend God in so many ways and want Him to forgive us. God counts it sheer wickedness, if we want God to forgive us and yet we withhold mercy from our covenant partner. Forgiveness is a show of Mercy that we give to the offender. When we show mercy to others we will also receive mercy.
I will stop here this morning. It is my prayer that God will grant us the Grace to forgive each other in marriage in Jesus’ mighty name.
In life, individuals, whether single or married, grapple with challenges that test their commitment to God’s path. Let’s explore the stories of Sally, John, Mr & Mrs Balley, and decipher the common thread that binds their struggles.
Sally is a church girl. She goes to church regularly, belongs to the choir, and serves God passionately, but she is also caught up with some habitual sins, which she has not been able to confront for a long time.
John is the fellowship head of his campus fellowship but has sexual relationships with some of the flock he is supposed to keep. He knows his lifestyle doesn’t please God, but he would find himself from time to time doing what he preaches against.
Mr & Mrs Balley want to serve God and they are doing all they can. It is just that they are both compromisers, they are seeing someone else. They know it is wrong, but they continue, thinking that somehow, things will just work out.
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What is common with these people?
They are all involved with what is not going to work. They are all hoping God’s mercy will work for them, and really it will work for a while.
Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. (Isaiah 55:1 KJV)
1. Recognizing the Invitation
Isaiah 55:1 extends an invitation—one that doesn’t require money but a thirsty heart. The principle embedded here is profound: the first step to a successful life, relationship, or marriage is to crave the things of God. Like buying water, wine, and milk without money, investing time and sincerity into God’s word is the key.
2. Thirst for God’s Word
Your legitimate thirst for a fulfilling life, a thriving marriage, and the finer things is acknowledged. However, the solution lies not in temporary gratification but in seeking the waters of God’s word. Quenching your soul’s thirst requires dedication and a heart turned toward God, not indulging in fleeting pleasures.
3. The Pitfall of Compromise
Sally, John, and Mr & Mrs Balley share a common misstep—they hope for God’s mercy while compromising. The invitation isn’t to quench your thirst in worldly traps but in the pure waters of God’s wisdom. Compromise may offer temporary relief, but true satisfaction lies in aligning with God’s principles.
4. Buying Rightly: A Heart Unto God
To navigate life successfully, you must buy rightly—with a sincere heart devoted to God. Spending time in God’s word becomes the currency for acquiring the revelations needed for your journey. The hunger for significance, wealth, and thriving marriage is pacified by honoring God’s invitation, not through fleeting relationships.
5. Honoring God’s Invitation
The emptiness, loneliness, and yearning for more find fulfillment in honoring God’s invitation. Seek His wisdom, not in temporary fixes, but in the enduring principles laid out in His word. Whether single or married, the key to lasting satisfaction is found in quenching your thirst with the eternal waters of divine guidance.
Conclusion: Embracing the Everlasting Solution
In the narratives of Sally, John, and Mr & Mrs Balley, we witness the struggles of those entangled in compromises. The enduring solution lies in recognizing the divine invitation, thirsting for God’s word, and buying rightly with a heart devoted to Him.
In the journey of matrimony, your words are more than mere expressions; they are catalysts for change. God, a speaking spirit, designed us to release creative power through speech. Don’t shy away—speak with wisdom, propelling your husband to take giant strides. Ensure you use the power of words to steer your marriage in the right direction by choosing to speak respectfully and with wisdom to your husband
7. Avoid Silence, Be a Person of Influence
While being a person of few words is commendable, silence has no place in your relationship. Don’t be a piece of furniture; instead, be a strategic communicator. Your role as a helper is amplified when your words are infused with wisdom and purpose.
8. The Power of Genuine Prayer
As a helpmeet, embrace the role of an intercessor. Connect with God on behalf of your husband, bringing his burdens and dreams to the divine realm. In genuine intercession, you’ll find a source of strength that transcends the earthly realm.
9. Crafting a Haven: The Art of Homemaking
Wives are natural multipliers; utilize this creative power to enhance your husband’s life. Transform your house into a home, a place of peace and rejuvenation. Let your homemaking skills become a testament to your love and commitment.
10. In His Shoes: Understanding Every Aspect
To truly be a part of your husband’s life, delve into every aspect of it. Understand his finances, relationships, challenges, dreams, and more. Whether accompanying him physically or supporting from afar, be intimately involved in his journey. Do not be emotionally detached!
Acknowledge the unique role you play in managing your husband’s passions. In marriage, find creative ways to satisfy his needs, ensuring anticipation and excitement. This role is exclusive to you—embrace it with love and openness.
In embracing expressive communication, heartfelt prayer, and active involvement, you become the architect of a flourishing marriage. May understanding and love continue to thrive in your relationship.
Maintain a firm hierarchy in your life—God first, your husband second, followed by your children, and only then any other relationships. This order should resonate in your actions, words, and thoughts. Ensure that your communication with your spouse surpasses any other conversations; anything less might be a misalignment of priorities. Don’t talk more to anybody than you talk to your spouse. It’s a misplaced priority.
2. Innovative Approaches to Respect
Recognize that respect is not just invaluable but also alluring and seductive. Respect is not only priceless, it’s attractive and sexy. Forge creative ways to express respect to your husband, intertwining your hearts and fostering a magnetic connection that keeps him returning to you repeatedly. It makes your husband’s heart knitted to yours
3. Embrace Your Role as a Helpmeet
Understand that your role is a life-long commitment. Embrace it with dedication, finding fulfillment in fulfilling it. This partnership is integral to the harmony of your life.
4. Cultivate Friendship with Your Husband
Invest time and energy into developing a profound friendship with your husband. This investment will yield substantial returns in the future. Strive to be intimately connected, so absorbed in pleasing your husband that trivial matters hold no significance in your busy life. Be as close to your husband as much as possible.
5. Acknowledge His Leadership Role
Recognize and treat your husband as the leader in your marriage. Approach him as royalty, and you will naturally assume your place as his queen. Treat him as a king and you will automatically find your place as a queen beside him. Be the sovereign companion he seeks, eliminating any need for him to look elsewhere.
Today’s insights end here, with more to come tomorrow.
May understanding abound, and may our marriages be blessed in the mighty name of Jesus.
A robust marriage demands effective leadership. Much like the head guides the body, your role as a leader shapes the entire relationship. Cultivate a positive mindset and take strides to enrich your well-being. Just as physical exercise maintains the body’s fitness, continual learning and staying informed contribute to a robust and flourishing marriage.
Cultivate Transparent Communication
Keep your partner informed at all times. Share your plans, both immediate and long-term. Transparent communication is pivotal. Discuss your financial status openly and invest time in understanding your partner’s preferences. A deep understanding of your partner aids in making well-informed decisions about financial matters.
Articulate Your Partner’s Love Language
Expressing love in a manner that resonates with your partner is essential. Grasp and comprehend their unique love language, tailoring your expressions of love accordingly. It’s about fulfilling their emotional needs in a way that holds significance for them.
Assume the Role of a Protector
In the covenant of marriage, your partner is your ally. It becomes your responsibility to shield them emotionally, psychologically, and in all other aspects. Stand beside them, defend their interests, and ensure they feel secure within the relationship.
Harmonize Your Aspirations
Mutual goals serve as the bedrock of a successful marriage. Collaborate towards shared objectives, such as nurturing a family with strong values. Embrace the philosophy that “two are better than one,” and strive for a unified partnership that reaps the rewards of joint endeavors.
Conclusion: Constructing a Everlasting Marriage
Steer clear of unnecessary conflicts by prioritizing mature, constructive communication. Confront the trials of marriage with a united front, recognizing that your joint efforts contribute to a satisfying and enduring relationship. May your understanding of each other deepen, and may your marriage be blessed by the grace of God.
