We started looking at this topic yesterday. We mentioned some things about the right woman.
1. She will truly love you. 2. She will truly and regularly intercede for you. 3. She will truly add to you and not deplete you.
What other ways can you know the right woman for you?
4. She will truly behave appropriately How do I mean? A lady that truly loves you will not aid and push you into sin. In courtship, she will not demand for jeru trip neither will she ‘supply’ it when it is being demanded. She will behave in a spiritually appropriate way. She will not trap you or manipulate you. She will not become a spiritual nuisance or distraction to you. I know guys can be forceful, manipulative and stubborn sometimes, but when a lady wants to say No, she knows how to say it.
In marriage, she will behave appropriately. She will not defraud her husband! That’s what the Bible calls it. When you deny your husband in marriage, it’s fraud!
Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. (1 Corinthians 7:5 KJV)
This doesn’t mean husbands should not allow their wives to rest, right?
Don’t go and tell your wife, ‘Pastor Dunamis said even if it is five times daily, you should be good to go!” In reality, never sex-starve your husband. It is not supposed to be a tool of punishment or reward.
5. She will be truly faithful. A lady in courtship that truly loves you will not double date. She will not live in deception. She will not be caught in betwixt the triple operation of greed, money and sex. She will remain faithful. That is all about fearing God.
In marriage, she will not cheat on you or hide things from you. Do ladies who are believers cheat on their husbands? Yes. How do I know? Through counseling! It starts with emotional affairs, nursing secret desires and keeping it away from your spouse. You see, iniquity is perpetuated in the atmosphere of secrecy. The power of iniquity is broken when it is exposed. When you are capable of hiding things from your husband, well, you don’t love him like you should, and a seed of adultery can be planted, because all it takes is your ability to do things and hide them.
Well, if you find some defects in your courtship, you might want to lovingly discuss them and make adjustments. You might also want to talk to a mentor or a counselor. You might also want to pray and ask God for wisdom. I pray that God will give you wisdom on how to make it right in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I know the right person to marry
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask that God leads you in the right direction
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Prov 18:22(KJV)Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.
I purposelydid not use the word ‘Love Language’ but used your wife’s ‘Language’ so that you can see the similarities. It is easier for us to relate to ‘your wife’s Language’ than it is to relate to love language.
Just as you can never think of marrying a wife who does not speak your language, it is ridiculous for you not to speak your wife’s love language.
Every woman has a love language. That love language is what she understands, is used to, and can relate to. In this language, she understands and can sense love.
Until you speak this language, she cannot sense or understand that you love her. It is like speaking Japanese to an English woman. It does not make any sense, and you sure are not making sense to her.
A woman knows that you love her when you communicate this love in a language that she understands. The problem is that most men are communicating this love to their wives in another language.
Note that there is something in every woman that craves being loved by her husband. Yes, she can be loved by her colleagues, friends, or siblings but there is something about the love of her husband. It may be because it is the way God ordered it from the beginning.
Eph 5:33 Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife [see] that she reverence [her] husband.
If husbands want to be found fulfilling their primary and basic role in the marriage covenant, it is good for each husband to learn to speak his wife’s language.
It makes a lot of sense if you at least become conversant with your wife’s language. It helps better communication in the marriage institution. Just like in our illustration of the English woman and the Japanese language speaking to her.
There are five basic love languages. We will look at each one so you can get a good understanding of each of them.
1. Words of affirmation
2. Quality time
3. Service
4. Gifts
5. Physical touch
All these love languages are to be understood if you want to love your wife on her own terms (in her own language) and not yours.
1. Words of affirmation.
If this is your wife’s love language, that just means that she likes to be spoken to. She may or may not be quiet, it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that your words mean a lot to her. You have to be constantly speaking words of encouragement to her.
Appreciating her by commenting on her efforts, looks, achievements, and verbalizing your love must be regular.
She senses love when she’s been constantly spoken to. Her energy to move on comes by appreciating her and saying sweet words to her. When you don’t speak kind words to her, she doesn’t sense your love towards her as a husband. Your words must be kind.
If on the contrary, you speak harshly to her, she senses harshness rather than love and sensitivity.
We will continue tomorrow.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am patient.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray for wisdom in your marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “In the same way you married men should live considerately with [ your wives ], with an intelligent recognition [ of the marriage relation ], honoring the woman as [ physically ] the weaker, but [ realizing that you ] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [ Otherwise, you cannot pray effectively. ]” (1Pe 3:7, AMP)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Find out what her love language is
Today, I wantto encourage us to keep on asking, keep on seeking and keep on knocking. Help is on the way, Help is closer than you think. Don’t give up on your spouse, don’t give up on your children. Help is on the way
Matt 7:9 says, ‘Ask and keep on asking and it shall be given you; seek and keep on seeking and you shall find, knock and keep on knocking and the door shall be opened to you’.
Keep on asking, seeking and knocking on a continual basis day in day out 365 days a year, so that we may keep receiving what we need.
How long do we stay awake all night wrestling with our issues and losing our sleep? Instead of simply casting our cares upon Him by asking Him and trusting Him.
Maybe your spouse has a weakness and you have talked to him/her about it for a long time and he doesn’t seem to listen.
Maybe your spouse even agrees to change but finds it difficult to change. Your children are wayward and they seem impossible.
You are having a difficult time maintaining a close, godly relationship with them. Just don’t give up or maintain the status quo.
You must know how to stay with what you want. Jesus already promised in His word that (Luke 11:13) …how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him”.
God wants us to trust Him with our request. He wants to see how much we trust Him and how much we can stay on what we want without shifting grounds.
You have to keep asking till your marriage becomes what you want it to be. You have to keep on knocking until your children become what they should be.
Never give up on God and this goes for everything. Never give up until you are rich, until you have your children, until you get that job.
God is committed until it is completed.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not give up
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord make right everything wrong in my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psa 128:2 (KJV) For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee.
In today’s devotional, I’d be speaking mainly to our women, but men can still learn a thing or two from this. We’re looking at how you can influence your husband as a wife. A woman isso influential- that her role or her absence in a man’s life can be easily felt. Have you ever thought of why most men will eventually remarry after their wife dies? No matter how much he claims to love his wife. Even if he stays without remarrying for a long time or mourns her for a long period of time. He will still eventually get married.
For the women, it is not so. Usually, a woman will stay unmarried after her husband dies. The men will always have one excuse or the other, who will help take care of the kids? But even if the kids are all grown up they still remarry. They would say, who will they talk with? The truth is that a man cannot do without Jeru trip for long. He needs that release for him to be okay and complete.
So if a wife is that important to a man’s life, let wives use their influence well. Don’t let us just reduce it to the other room, taking care of the children and the kitchen. As a wife, you can use that power to positively challenge your husband to move the family forward.
Here are some areas that a woman can influence her husband positively;
1. A wife can encourage her husband to be more spiritual. It is known that women are more spiritual than men, at least they have a heart for God. A woman can encourage him for bible reading, daily devotions, and prayer time.
2. A wife can encourage her husband to go to church.
3. A wife can influence her husband to be committed in God’s house and serve God.
4. A wife can encourage her husband to make financial investments.
5. A wife can influence her husband to build a house and start a business.
6. A wife can encourage her husband to be a nice person.
7. A wife can influence her husband to live healthily and have a healthy lifestyle.
8. A wife can encourage her husband to treat in-laws and family members rightly.
9. A wife can influence her husband to get better at what she knows he can do. e.g get a better education, study a course, pass his exams.
10. A wife can encourage her husband to start something innovative and develop his dreams, talents, aspirations, achieve his goals and start something altogether new.
There is no end to the influence of a woman. Women have been known to influence kings, defeat nations and do near-impossible feats.
God gave you the power to influence. Find out what it is that your husband is called to do and influence him positively. Influence him to be the best in his field of endeavor. Be known for something and let it be a positive influence.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a positive influence on my husband
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be a positive influence on my husband.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A woman shall compass a man
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to deploy your power of influence.
This morning we’ll be looking at the topic “This is what your husband wants from you”
If youthink anticipating Jeru trip with your spouse is a sin, then you are holier than God. When a man craves, longs anticipates, imagines, and sends SMS to his wife for the eventual Jeru trip later in the night, there is nothing wrong with that.
Religion may tell you that it is wrong. And then this need of the man becomes suppressed and then finds himself in some sexual sin with another.
You see, marriage does not address the lust problem. After you are married, these Jeru trip feelings will not go. You will see other ladies that are still beautiful, and you will still be barraged in your mind about exploring.
If you lack self-control; you will still find yourself messing around with other ladies. That is the quickest way to ruining yourself and your family.
So, what God does is to train you and to teach you how to put your body under. He trains you how to say “No” to compromise.
That is how to live long. That is how to preserve your family. That is how to please God. And this is why he tells you, don’t do it before marriage.
But in marriage, He says, don’t deny each other. What is unavailable to you as a single becomes always available after marriage!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to be faithful to my spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 8:37 (KJV) Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study agreement in the scripture. Use a concordance
