Sandy and Bobby have been married for only seven months and yet Sandy is completely frustrated.
‘I will never be able to please this man. I don’t understand him. I thought we courted and I knew him.’ Their marriage has been characterized with daily quarrels, anger tantrums, and bitterness towards each other. Sandy doesn’t know what to do again because according to her, ‘this man doesn’t really love me!’
What was Sandy’s issue? She went into marriage not knowing who a man is! She was involved in jeru trip and that distracted her from the real preparation of the heart. Part of the preparation of the heart is to read wide, study hard, ask questions, stay under mentors, and so on.
Every man, whether he is born again or not has some peculiarities. When he has a relationship with God, has the fear of God and his mind is renewed, he is better able to handle these peculiarities.
Unfortunately, most ladies walk down the aisle in sheer ignorance of some of these peculiarities and after a few months, they really want to retrace their steps and walk up the aisle and out of the marriage.
If you are still single, these are some of the things you should know and probably read more about. This is what we try to achieve by God’s Spirit on KHC, if you can follow these devotionals, which are inspired by the Spirit of God, and you can follow the instructions passed across, you will succeed in your marital endeavors.
Why do I say that? That is the grace and unction upon the ministry, to raise a standard, to set things aright in courtships, and to restore dying marriages.
What are these peculiarities? The list is not exhaustive, but these seven are the pertinent ones.
1. Be ready to massage his ego 2. Be ready to respect him 3. Be ready to satisfy him sexually 4. Be ready to cook for him 5. Be ready to dress for him 6. Be ready to pray for him. 7. Be ready to help him
Tomorrow, we will pick these seven issues one by one.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the wisdom to make my relationship work
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask that God will give you wisdom.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 4:7(KJV) Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
Sister Faith was spiritual! While on campus, she was everywhere. From prayer group to the Choir and then the missions, she tirelessly served God and it was obvious God’s hands were upon her. She counseled younger ladies, prayed for them, and ensured new converts were established in the fellowship. The fellowship missed her like “Mississippi” when she left.
At the one-year national orientation camp, the fire continued to burn, but not for long! The news soon filtered, she got involved in a relationship with someone who is not born again. All the attempts of other ‘brethren’ to stop her were futile. In later years, she was not happy. Her rich husband would not allow her to work or serve God. She became a permanent housewife, disappeared from church, and later entered into depression. Needless to say, she did not enjoy her marriage.
The question of destiny! This one cannot be over-emphasized. As singles, you cannot be involved with a man or woman that has no sense of destiny in God! In these days, and for whatever reason, you should not go into a marriage with someone that will hinder or stop your relationship with God. There are dream killers and destiny destroyers. When you marry such people, whole destinies can be swallowed up.
I feel like I’ve got a trumpet in my mouth to sound a warning to this generation about emotions and sexuality. You see, God cannot be mocked! Marriage is not what you fall into like a lamb being led to the slaughter because you are in love. Marriage comes with pressures, and those pressures are amplified when you get married to someone with no sense of destiny.
With marriage, dreams can come alive, and dreams can die, literally vapourize until you become a shadow of yourself. With marriage, the heavens can be opened, and with it, the heavens can also become iron. With marriage, you can move to your next level in God and you can be reduced to the level of your partner. With marriage, you can enter into unbelievable rebellion and bite the fingers that fed you, and you can honour those who have contributed to your life positively. With marriage, you can find your rhyme, come alive with hidden gifts bursting out into manifestation and divine expressions, and gifts can also be wrapped up and buried in the tomb of unbelief and depression.
Why is marriage that powerful? You see it is a covenant. In the book of Proverbs, the Bible says God’s word will keep you away from evil men and strange women. So, there are evil men and strange women. There are Delilahs whose mission is to destroy. There are Jezebels whose mission is to use you. There are Samsons who are anointed but are full of lust and will not mind sleeping with you before marriage and then preach the next day. There are Herods who don’t see anything in killing infants and will take to abort over and over.
In marriage, destinies are wedged together. Like the dog whose jaws are locked when it bites, there are people you kiss and your jaws are locked. In marriage, blessings and afflictions become intertwined and your issues become his\her issues.
In today’sdevotional, we’ll be looking at two very important things every wife should do to their husbands, lets’ delve in.
1. Respect your husband Respect is actually a virtue of the heart. It is a value system you place on your husband based on the understanding and acceptance of his headship position. Respect could be verbal, physical, and definitely attitudinal.
You need to respect your own husband. That’s an assignment, you must never fail at. In respecting him, you need to know what respect is for your own husband.
You don’t define what respect is to your husband, your husband defines to you what respect is to him according to God’s word.
You are to specifically ask him what you can do that will make him feel respected. It could be the way to talk, how you serve his food, how you take care of the home, how the kids are cared for, how you sacrifice for him, how you treat his stuff, how you get interested in his business etc.
Don’t assume or guess, ask him, you might be surprised at how simple things could be a big deal for your husband.
2. Pray for your husband One of the greatest ways you can fulfill your assignment as a helpmeet is to pray for Him. Be his intercessor.
Pray for and about every single part of your husband’s life. Nothing is too big or too small to escape your talking to God about.
Pray for him when he is at his best as a father, husband and when he is doing well. Don’t wait for things to get not too good before you start praying. Keep your prayer bank full and God will honour you.
Your husband will also love you more.
There are some issues that God just steps in and defends you without you having to struggle for in your marriage. It’s a spiritual thing and he will just love you more without knowing why. I enjoy this a lot because I keep praying for my husband always.
Helping him is essentially praying for him. He is the head, you are the heart, the engine, and the power room. Never stop praying for him, no matter what.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to love more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;” (Hebrews 12:15, KJV)
Walk in the spirit and you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh. It is in marriage that you can best apply this scripture. There will be many opportunities in marriage to fulfill the lust of the flesh. Our flesh wants to rise big time whenever our spouses do something that we consider unpleasant.
All works of the flesh as described in Galatians 5: 19-21 especially enmity, strife, jealousy, anger (ill temper), selfishness, divisions, envy can all be seen in marriages.
In marriage, we are tempted to pay back evil for evil, tit for tat and it is easier to go by the rule of a tooth for a tooth and an eye for an eye. In marriage, it is easy to enter into strife, to be angry at our spouse, and be bitter against them.
In my twenty-one-plus years of marriage, I have come to note that it is always easier to nip things in the bud before they get out of hand. It is always easier to apologize on time before things get out of hand. It is always easier to talk things over than to let them linger and become bigger.
Galatians 5:22 (Amp), ‘But the fruit of the Holy Spirit (the work which His presence within accomplishes) is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness, gentleness (meekness, humility), self- control (self restraint, continence)
When we allow the fruit of the Holy Spirit in our lives, the resultant effect will be a Spirit-controlled marriage. That is where the Lord wants us to get to. That no matter what happens or whoever it is that is at fault, we are Spirit-controlled. Our lives are controlled and influenced by the Holy Spirit.
This can only happen when we begin to acknowledge the Holy spirit’s presence in our lives individually. When we learn to put our bodies under and allow the Holy Spirit His rightful place.
May God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am Spirit Controlled.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me acknowledge the Holy Spirit’s place in my life
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gal 5:16 (MSG) My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit. Then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin today to acknowledge the person of the Holy Spirit.
One sureway to do this is to let your husband have the final say. Give your husband the honor of having the final say in your marriage.This is how to win the heart of your husband.
The intelligent, opinionated, and strong-willed wives have issues with this. They are choleric, goal-getters, and achievers. They are used to making their own decisions and sticking to them.
Of truth, opposites attract, so usually, a fast and active wife will probably have a quiet, slow, and steady husband. Now the challenge would be being submissive to your husband when you consider him too slow, passive, and weak.
You know what, that is your opinion, but if you want to win your husband’s love, you need to tuck in this opinion and obey God’s instruction to submit to your own husband’s disposition. After airing your opinion, genuinely let your husband have the last say. Remember he is the king of your family kingdom. The king’s words are never to be argued.
So what if I am sure he is in the wrong, should I just look on? Not necessarily, you can pray about it but not argue endlessly.
Give your husband the honor of reigning in your marriage, let him have the last say. Never drag power or usurp authority with your husband. Keep your tongue. Don’t nag about issues or over-flogged things.
May God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will love, respect and honour my husband.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will teach you how to honour your husband.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 31:11 (KJV) The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to honour your husband.
