In the world of Christian service, it’s easy to celebrate spiritual gifts like preaching, singing, prophesying, healing, and teaching. These gifts are beautiful, powerful, and God-given. But there’s something even more important in God’s eyes: the fruits of the Spirit.
Galatians 5:22-23 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control…” These are not glamorous abilities we show off on platforms. They are quiet proofs of maturity. They reflect who we are, not just what we can do.
You can be a firebrand preacher and still be proud. You can sing like angels and still lack patience. You can prophesy accurately and still treat people with contempt. Sadly, we sometimes place more value on being “gifted” than being Christlike.
God desires our character before charisma. The gifts draw men, but it is the fruit that keeps them. You may attract a spouse, an audience, or an opportunity with your talent, but only fruit will sustain relationships, influence, and favor.
The Bible warns in Matthew 7:16, “By their fruit you will recognize them.” Not their gifting, not their title, but their fruit. This means our love, humility, gentleness, and faithfulness are what truly matter to God.
In your walk with God, aim to bear fruit before chasing platforms. Let people say, “She is kind,” “He’s gentle,” not just “Wow, they’re anointed!” Because when gifts fade or slow down, character will still stand tall.
So, let’s seek to be fruitful first, and then let the gifts flow. Meanwhile, a life rooted in the Spirit will naturally grow into both.
Being a great husband isn’t about perfection—it’s about embodying qualities that reflect love, commitment, and selflessness. A godly husband strives to honor God in his marriage while nurturing and cherishing his wife. Here are five qualities that make a great husband, inspired by biblical principles and practical wisdom.
1. He Loves Unconditionally
A great husband loves his wife with an unconditional, sacrificial love that mirrors Christ’s love for the church. Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This kind of love doesn’t depend on circumstances or emotions—it’s steadfast, forgiving, and enduring.
A husband who loves unconditionally creates a safe and loving environment for his wife to thrive.
2. He Leads with Humility
True leadership in marriage is not about control but about serving with humility. A great husband leads by example, putting his wife’s needs before his own. Philippians 2:3-4 reminds us, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves.” Humble leadership fosters respect, trust, and unity in the relationship.
3. He Communicates Openly and Honestly
Communication is the foundation of a healthy marriage. A great husband listens actively, speaks kindly, and resolves conflicts maturely. Proverbs 18:21 teaches, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” His words should build up, encourage, and affirm his wife, creating emotional intimacy and understanding.
4. He Is Faithful and Committed
Faithfulness is a hallmark of a great husband. Whether it’s staying loyal through trials or honoring the covenant of marriage, his commitment never wavers. Malachi 2:16 declares, “The Lord God hates divorce,” emphasizing the sacredness of marital vows. A faithful husband demonstrates unwavering dedication to his wife and their shared future.
5. He Supports and Encourages Growth
A great husband believes in his wife’s potential and supports her dreams and aspirations. He celebrates her strengths and encourages her spiritual, personal, and professional growth. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” By uplifting his wife, he helps her become the best version of herself while strengthening their bond.
Oftentimes, people walk away from toxic relationships, unhealthy attachments, or bad habits, thinking that the battle is over. But leaving is only the first step. The real challenge is filling that empty space with something better. It’s easy to think that once you’ve cut ties with the wrong person or situation, everything will automatically be fine. But if you don’t intentionally fill your heart with positive, God-centered things, you might find yourself slipping back into old patterns even after you might have vowed that it would never happen again.
“When an unclean spirit goes out of a man, it passes through dry places seeking rest, and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when it comes, it finds it empty, swept, and put in order. Then it goes and brings with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man is worse than the first.” — Matthew 12:43-45 (NKJV)
This is the very point Jesus was making in Matthew 12. A man was freed from an unclean spirit, but when the spirit returned, it found the house empty. Without something better taking its place, the man’s situation worsened. It’s a pattern we see in relationships, too. If you leave one behind but don’t fill your life with healing, purpose, and spiritual growth, you open yourself up to emptiness and vulnerability. This emptiness can lead you to crave the wrong things: unhealthy attention, distractions, or even another toxic relationship.
Instead of just walking away from bad relationships, it’s crucial to intentionally build a life that’s full of what truly matters—God’s wisdom, His love, and a deeper sense of purpose. Focus on nurturing your relationship with God, growing emotionally, and investing time with people who help you grow in faith. Stay busy with purpose, serve God like never before, and pursue personal growth. When you fill your life with the right things, you create a strong foundation, leaving no room for the wrong things to creep back in.
Leaving behind what’s wrong is an important step, but the real work begins after that. If you don’t fill the empty space with God’s truth, His presence, and a sense of purpose, you are at risk of falling into that same cycle. Today, make the decision to fill your life with His presence so that when love comes, you are not settling out of emptiness but embracing something beautiful because you are whole, ready, and aligned with God’s perfect plan for you.
As a single man or lady, you sometimes are all about yourself alone. Certain decisions are made without considering anyone. When you get married, that narrative will change. Whatever you do, you put your spouse first.
What to eat, what to wear, when to return home, where to go, how much to spend, what to buy, etc.
When taking such decisions, you will have to consider your partner.
Mk 10:8 [ESV] and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh.
2. Forgiveness.
There is no place where offence is frequent other than marriage. The reason is clear. You get hurt by the one you love so dearly.
Marriage is not a place to keep malice. As a matter of fact, in marriage, you forgive ahead.
Who do you think can offend you 490 times in a day?
Who? Your spouse. You don’t believe, right? Ask a married person beside you.
Mat 18v22 [NIV] Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
3. Assumptions.
Assumption is the lowest level of knowledge. In marriage, couples don’t just make babies; they talk.
They talk about everything.
What you discussed in courtship, you discuss again in marriage. Life happens, and seasons change, so the conversation you had last year may need to be revisited this year.
The moment communication dies, assumptions set in.
You can’t live your life based on hearsay. Always ask.
Oh, I am not the talking type. Really? And you want to get married?
If you don’t talk to your spouse, someone else will do the talking.
Gen 3:1 [ESV] Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?”
4. Teamwork.
Marriage is not a competition where you want to find out who the better parent is. You are a team. It is both of you against the world, not against each other.
You don’t have to always have the final say; that’s why you are a team.
Carry him along. Carry her along. That way, it will take extra effort for anyone to come between you.
I am an independent person. I like to do things my own way. That is very good for your level, but the moment you agree to sign the dotted lines, that mentality has to change.
Gen 2v24 [NLT] This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.
There are a few things that add spice into your marriage. Apart from praying and doing all the spiritual aspects, the things you do physically matters too.
We need to remind ourselves of some of these things. They are so simple; in fact, some of us vowed to do these things while single, but life happens to us, and then we get overcome by events.
There is no way you can start doing these things and stay committed to doing them that your marriage will not be better and grow intimately.
Let’s take a look at some of those things.
1. Take time to touch daily
a. Hugs – aim at 3-4 hugs per day for atleast 20sec
b. Hold hands for at least 10 mins per day
c. Cuddles – at least 30 mins everyday
d. Massage – at least 10-15 min per day
e. Intimate touch – kissing, caressing & lovemaking.
Physical touch reduces stress and anxiety. Oxytocin release hormones of bonding. It promotes feelings of attachment, closeness & bonding
2. Find something to laugh about daily
a. Schedule laughing time – Set aside time to see a movie
b. Find the humor, laugh at yourself
c. Be playful – playful activities & games that bring laughter & joy in your relationship
d. Share funny stories: funny stories about your past.
These tips are simple yet practical and profound.
God bless our marriages in Jesus’ mighty name, amen.
