This is not an absolute and ‘one answer fits all’ situation approach. There is always an exception to the rule. That is why the best thing that can happen to any married couple is to be filled with the Holy Spirit, to be a child of God, and to walk with God and know His voice.
It is a privilege to have access to the wisdom of God and He can always tell you what to do in your own peculiar circumstances.
I have witnessed the Holy Spirit help me through certain difficult times in my marriage and I am so grateful for those times.
We are talking about husbands and I believe by God’s Grace, I will also write about the wives.
We have four basic temperaments and other temperament blends. We also have modifications of our temperaments based on different factors such as our background, the environment we were raised in, our parents, their beliefs, exposure, the schools we attended, our religious beliefs, circumstances surrounding our childhood, childhood experiences, etc.
Now, you have to understand who you have married. Without understanding, you cannot be an effective helpmeet, and then it’s impossible for you to submit.
These are some qualities of a choleric husband and how to live with him based on knowledge.
1. A choleric is goal-oriented
That means he lives for achievement. He must achieve something. It is not impossible he cancels luxury at home just to cater for his goals.
Join him in whatever he wants to achieve and support him all the way. Encourage him. Don’t fight him or his goals. A choleric fight to finish and makes it a goal to accomplish.
2. A choleric is an obstacle crusher
A choleric crushes whatever is on his way to achieving that goal. Join him don’t criticize him.
3. A choleric is sharped tongued
It is not impossible he is seen verbally abusing his wife and lashing at her. Gently correct him when the event has passed.
4. He is egocentric
Don’t touch the ego. Help massage it especially in the way you talk. Talk to him in a soft tone and he will listen.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
5. A choleric maybe inconsiderate and selfish or self-centered
Whenever he is like this, point his attention to what he is doing.
6. He may defer helping
He may not help out in his wife’s project if it is not his project
Make sure you are not offended. Stand your ground but please be open.
7. A choleric husband makes coarse jokes or comments.
Guide against being offended. Be mature and don’t let his sarcasm get at you. Bear your mind out not in a fight but in honest conversation, maybe later, so that he won’t see you as contesting his ‘simple’ joke.
8. He wants to be in control and he is authoritative
See the good part of this. See it as being a strong leader and celebrate that he is being a man.
Don’t become a jelly under his authority. Enjoy him leading you. You don’t want to be in a position where the wife takes decisions.
There are more, but basically, you handle being married to a choleric husband not by being hurt, in strife, contention, or bitterness, you handle this by being honest and sincere with the way you feel.
God bless our marriages.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am supportive of my husband in all areas.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to be supportive of my husband in Jesus’ name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to look at areas you can give your support and begin to give it.
”What about Deacon Joshua, you said he asked you out as well?
“That one doesn’t have money joor” Is it only preaching we will be eating after marriage?”
“Uhmmm…”Who else asked you out?”
“Brother Tomi, he is too short.”
“But it is not in heights?”
“Why is your own husband tall?”
“Susan!”
“Brother Bode also asked me out, but his mouth is too sharp, he talks too much like somebody that has mouth diarrhea!” Brother Tola is too tall, and he is bent over like somebody that is sick. I cannot marry him.” Brother Chiefo is too old for me. He is nearly forty-five. I am not sure if he is a real man.
Brother Sanmi is too busy playing the keyboard. He will not have time for me. Brother Bubu is okay but the way he smiles reminds me of my primary school teacher that nearly killed me with beating. Mr. Tony is an ideal man, but the way I see him, he will turn me into a housewife. Brother Steve said he wants to become a pastor, I cannot marry a pastor.
Brother Faith seems to like women a lot, I cannot be competing with other ladies in my matrimonial home. Brother Eze is okay, but his bow leg is a concern. Mr. Smith would have been it, but the way he walks like a village man will not befit my destiny. Brother Love is too dark like God forgot him in the oven or something like that. Mr. Scoot is too light, if both of us are light, will our children not become albinos? And Mr…..”
We started this topic yesterday. Let’s go further as we unravel the mystery behind having a model marriage.
1. Be supportive
The role of the wife is that of support. Support in what? Support in whatever and everything your husband is doing? In the small things as well as the big things, serious or not so serious things, relevant or not so relevant things.
It is difficult to say what is relevant to him or not because women and men are wired differently. That is why you need to make up your mind to be supportive in all areas.
This cannot be overemphasized. Our role is that of support. As a wife, you have to learn it, pray it into your life and ask for Grace to be a supportive wife.
You can give your support in very numerous ways. Be observant and sensitive you will know where to support your husband.
You may also have to ask him from time to time, how you can support him now because seasons in marriage change. So don’t be rigid. Support him with your finances. Don’t detach your support from your finances.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
2. Be prayerful
As a wife, if you don’t pray for your husband, who or what do you then pray for? We should be praying for our husbands daily as top priority.
And when he was at the place, he said unto them, Pray that ye enter not into temptation. And said unto them, Why sleep ye? rise and pray, lest ye enter into temptation. – Luk 22: 40, 46
When you pray, you guide yourself from entering into unnecessary temptations. If your husband is anointed, he needs prayers. If he is not so anointed, he needs prayers. Whichever way you want to look at it, he just needs prayers.
He needs prayers to take the right decisions. He also has authority over you.
I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; For kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty. – 1Ti 2:1-2
When we pray for our husbands, we are also praying for ourselves because only then can we live a peaceable and quiet life.
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a supportive and praying wife.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to do all that is needed to have a model marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Luk 22:46 And said unto them, Why sleep ye? rise and pray, lest ye enter into temptation.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to look at areas you can give your support and begin to give it.
I almost can hear someone say, ‘can one really have a model marriage?’ My answer is an absolutely yes. You can have a model marriage, but you have to be willing to work at it. Marriage is work, but God promised that our labor of love will be rewarded.
The work requires the input of both the husband and the wife. It is not supposed to be the sole responsibility of one spouse to do all the laboring. Both should labour for the marriage but in different aspect of the marriage.
Marriage requires hard work, commitment, sacrifice and like someone puts it, you have an appointment with 4 things,
1. Appointment with losing
2. Appointment with dying
3. Appointment with sacrifice
4. Appointment with suffering
All these look negative but in reality, they are just God’s way of developing our faith muscle and causing us to die to the flesh.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
It is not only women who need to lose, die, sacrifice and suffer, but both the husband as well as the wife.
A wife loses her life just to care for her children. So it’s not really losing, dying, sacrificing in terms of punishment but to gain something higher and worthwhile.
So also, you have to die to your own convenient ways or your opinions if things will work out In the marriage.
Tomorrow, I will point out some things the wives can do to have a model marriage.
God bless your marriage!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am supportive of my husband in all areas.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to be a supportive spouse in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:22 For wives, this means being supportive to your husbands like you are tenderly devoted to our Lord.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to look at areas you can give your support and begin to give it.
We stated in our devotional yesterday that there are some things that would not just work. As far as we are called ‘wife’ and we want to fulfill our destiny as godly wives, we must stay away from doing such things.
Yes, I agree that some of these things are the normal reactions that women find easy to do. They flow naturally with being women. Naturally, a woman finds it easy to want to disrespect or give the silent treatment when she is not pleased with her husband.
Remember, God has not called us as wives to do what flows with us or comes to our flesh as a natural behavior, but to be spirit controlled and mortify the deeds of the flesh.
For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live – Rom 8:13
Yesterday we looked at two out of the five things not to do as a wife. They are
1. Disrespecting your husband
2. The silent treatment
Let’s conclude.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
3. Don’t Usurp Authority
Because women are multitasking, there is a natural tendency for them sometimes to want to fix everything. The mother hood instinct wants everything-to be in order. There is also a tendency in men to want to sit back and relax especially when the wife decides to step in and fix it all. The man is the head and the family should be run as a team work. Each person must have their roles to play and function in it. So as a wife, don’t usurp authority.
Let your husband remain the husband and you the wife. Stay at your duty post, don’t leave your duty and focus on the duties of your husband. If you do, you will end up being overwhelmed.
4. Don’t disobey your husband
This is very crucial. Your husband must be obeyed at every time. That is why every wife should be very prayerful. What prayer does is that it brings God to the affairs of your home to intervene. God has instituted it that the wife is protected in her obedience to her husband. As you pray and are ready to obey your husband, God will intervene in your affairs.
5. Don’t deny your husband Jeru trips
What jeru trip is to a woman is different from what it is to a man. Jeru trip is very necessary for men and guess what, you must be prepared for this task. It is the only task no woman can help you or assist you. Don’t reject him and don’t refuse him for no matter the reason.
So heed my advice now and do as occasions serve you.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will respect my husband publicly and privately.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for the grace to be a good man/woman to your spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. – Rom 8:28
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Show some respect to your spouse
