Sube is a church girl. She goes to church regularly, belongs to the choir, and serves God passionately, but she is also caught up with some habitual sins, which she has not been able to confront for a long time.
Bro. Zeru is the fellowship head of his campus fellowship but has sexual relationships with some of the flock he is supposed to keep. He knows his lifestyle doesn’t please God, but he would find himself from time to time doing what he preaches against.
Mr & Mrs Balley want to serve God and they are doing all they can. It is just that they are both compromisers, they are seeing someone else. They know it is wrong, but they continue, thinking that somehow, things will just work out.
What is common with these people?
They are all involved with what is not going to work. They all hope God’s mercy will work for them, and it will work for a while.
Let’s take a look at the scriptures and see some principles.
Thirst Quenched by the Waters of God’s Word
In Isaiah 55:1 (KJV), God extends an invitation to everyone: “Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price.”
This invitation beckons individuals to seek sustenance that goes beyond material wealth. The “waters” symbolize God’s word, emphasizing the importance of acquiring spiritual insight through a dedicated heart and time investment.
Your legitimate thirst for a fulfilling life, successful marriage, and overall prosperity can only be quenched through genuine devotion and regular immersion in God’s word. Contrary invitations, often enticing but leading to compromise and spiritual apathy, must be declined.
Discerning the Right Invitation
Every life-altering decision stems from an invitation. Whether it’s the pressure to engage in premarital relations or succumbing to compromise, the consequences lie not in the allure of the invitation but in the character of the inviter.
Proverbs 7 vividly portrays the consequences of honoring the wrong invitation, cautioning against being led astray by enticing offers. The invitation may seem appealing, but the aftermath can be agonizing, akin to a calf led to the butcher or a bird ensnared in a net.
Choosing Wisely: Refusing Wrong Invitations
Today, a challenge is to steadfastly refuse every wrong invitation. Your choices dictate your destiny, and embracing God’s invitation leads to the fulfillment of your deepest desires.
Start your day with God’s word, steering clear of sin, and commit to living for God by rejecting compromise. Success is not a result of chance; it is an outcome of intentional actions and choices.
The Ultimate Invitation
As we conclude, consider the unparalleled invitation extended by Jesus in Matthew 11:28-30 (KJV): “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” This divine invitation promises rest for the weary and a yoke that is easy to bear.
In the Message translation, the depth of this invitation becomes even more apparent: “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.” Jesus invites you to walk with Him, learn from Him, and experience the unforced rhythms of grace.
Embracing the Divine Love
In a world filled with conflicting invitations, choosing to accept the invitation from the lover of your soul—Jesus Christ—leads to the embrace of the love of your life. Refuse all other invitations that may lead you astray and embark on a journey guided by the timeless principles found in God’s word.
As singles and married couples, you are to deliberately work things out in your relationship or marriage and with the help of the Holy Spirit.
Here is what the scripture says:
Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. (Philippians 2:12 KJV)
In a relationship and or marriage, you are to work things out. A relationship or courtship does not lead to marriage automatically, you are to work things out in your disposition, attitude, and reactions. A marriage does not just succeed; you are to work things out between yourselves.
Now some combinations will surely crack along the way. When you find yourself in these spots, you need to seek help prayerfully and with a lot of wisdom to address the lurking issues.
Here are those combinations:
1. Two people who are unbelievers
Two people who are unbelievers may love themselves and may be committed to each other, but when the storms of life come, they will fight their battles alone and you know, some of those battles can be very fierce. They will not have God’s support since they don’t have a relationship with God. They will not have the benefit of a relationship with God and it can be very intense! They need to connect with God!
2. Two people who are believers but refuse to grow
The second group of couples may be believers but whose minds are not renewed. The only thing is that they already have a relationship with God, but apart from that, they are still carnal. They still do their stuff like unbelievers would do. They still want to have fun in forbidden areas and they still want to explore the perverse, which would often come with dire consequences. My advice for couples in this group is that they seek help as soon as possible.
A priest at a wedding ceremony captured this piece of advice to the groom. He gave it as the condition to which the groom must fulfill as a husband.
All men in the house, if you want to enjoy your marriage and enjoy maximally the ministry of your wife as your help mate follow these advice.
1. Be the spiritual leader
Your wife needs you to be a spiritual leader in the marriage. Be someone she can look up to in times of challenges, and crisis and someone who gives spiritual guidance.
2. Affirmation and Appreciation
Your wife continually needs rich doses of affirmations and appreciation. Affirm her. Let your words strengthen her. Don’t discourage her. Give her wings to fly. Let your wife become better being married to you. Appreciate her efforts. To appreciate, you must first of all acknowledge her contributions. Don’t be stingy with your affirmations and appreciation. Let your wife be able to say, I married a good man who truly celebrates me.
The first lady in your life needs lots of romance. She will never outgrow little romantic gestures like buying her little meaningful gifts. Being courteous to her. Treating her with respect like listening to her when she speaks. It simply means treating her every way you can as your queen. If you will not talk harshly or rudely to a queen, then don’t do that to her.
3. Intimate Communication
The woman God has given to you needs intimate communication. Let her know how human you are. Don’t paint the picture of a superhuman to her. Let her know she is needed and valuable. Open up your fears to her. Ask her sincerely for her prayers. Let her communicate freely and honestly without the fear of being judged or criticized.
4. She needs you to betransparent
Some husbands keep important information from their wives. They feel their wives won’t be able to handle such information. On the contrary, your wife is made to handle the truth and do something about it. She may be emotional about it, but once she’s done she looks for ways to handle it.
So be open and very transparent with your wife. When you need her comfort, her attention let her know, don’t throw tantrums. Talk, don’t sulk.
5. She Needs Home Support
Make sure she and her children are well catered for. Don’t let her feel her demands are too much. It is your responsibility to fix every need in the house. She assists when she can. Please don’t see it as a right to demand, but be grateful for every support she renders. Her comfort is your responsibility. Ask her how you can make her more comfortable. Don’t be unconcerned about her struggles.
7. She Needs Someone Who IsCommitted to the Family
Family commitment is a very important need for your wife. She must know that after God she comes next. Put the needs of the children and hers as top priority. Let every other person come only after your wife and children. Make sure you verbalize your commitment to your wife and your children.
Make sure your wife and children flourish and thrive under your watch. Build up courage and strength in your wife, who will be your support system. Invest in whatever may be her shortcoming. Build strength consciously into your children, they are the ones that matter most because they bear your name and are like arrows shot into the future. Take time to explain things to them. Let them be free to ask you questions and set up conversations with them. Be transparent with them, let them know where you stand.
Do all these and you will have built a strong support system for yourself spiritually, emotionally, financially, socially, and otherwise.
We have been looking at couple types and last week we had four different posts on couple types. If you missed them see them below!
Couple Types: Vocal Husband, Vocal Wife
This morning, we are looking at an explosive combination, probably the most volcanic of couple types!
Vocal Husband, Vocal Wife!
As uncommon as it could be, this coupling type exists!
Well, Pastor, you said opposites attract, so what happened in this scenario?
Well, there is every possibility they started as vocal and quiet, but as time goes on, the other quiet spouse adopted being vocal as a coping mechanism with a vocal spouse!
This person assumes the only way they can survive in that marriage is to match their spouse, word for word, trouble for trouble, and vice for vice!
Couple Types: Vocal Husband, Vocal Wife
This type of couple is very explosive, they fear one another, and the house is usually one of shouting matches.
The spouses are unwilling to give in to one another. There is no mutual submission and any form of submission is seen as a sign of weakness on their part.
In some cases, they get violent with each other and sometimes destroy things!
This type of couple is sitting on a gunpowder and it is a matter of time before it explodes on their faces.
They are both angry and volatile with their emotions.
I am sure you remember the case of Simeon and Levi .
Gen 49:5-6 (KJV) Simeon and Levi are brethren; instruments of cruelty are in their habitations.  O my soul, come not thou into their secret; unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united: for in their anger they slew a man, and in their selfwill they digged down a wall.
Two angry people in a marriage is never recommended!
In the Amplified version, it says
Gen 49:5 (AMPC) Simeon and Levi are brothers [equally headstrong, deceitful, vindictive, and cruel]; their swords are weapons of violence. [Gen 34:25-29]
Note the word, EQUALLY! No marriage can survive where the couple is equally vocal, vindictive, troublesome, and angry!
For this marriage to survive, they have to be willing to die to their flesh and sacrifice for one another.
In Proverbs 20:6 (KJV), the question echoes through time, resonating with those navigating the complex landscape of relationships: “Most men will proclaim everyone his own goodness: but a faithful man who can find?”
The Illusion of Proclamation.
Most men will ‘toast’ you and promise you heaven and earth, but a faithful man who can find? This proclamation of virtue often masks the true essence of fidelity. As we explore this timeless challenge, it’s essential to dissect the layers beneath these surface affirmations.
Decoding ‘Faithful’: Trusty or Trustworthiness. The term ‘faithful’ finds its roots in the Greek word ’emun,’ denoting trustworthiness. Essentially, the question emerges: amidst good toasters, who can be trusted?
The Dilemma Explored.
David, in Psalm 12:1 (KJV), adds another layer to the complexity: “Help, LORD; for the godly man ceaseth; for the faithful fail from among the children of men.”
A Quest for Good Husbands
Are there good husbands in this age? Will one ever find a man that will love God and love his wife as well? The quest for a partner embodying both godliness and spousal devotion raises its head.
Are there still men who will not compromise and cheat on their wives? The perennial challenge of fidelity in the face of tempting situations emerges. Can one find a man who remains faithful despite the availability of temptations?
Well, there are still faithful men! Elijah’s encounter with God reveals that amidst perceived scarcity, a multitude remains steadfast, refusing to bow to societal pressures. Trust God to lead you and don’t trust your brain and calculations alone!
The danger lies in concluding that “all men are evil.” Such a mindset perpetuates a cycle, attracting the very negativity one fears.
Trusting in Divine Guidance.
There are still faithful men, and there is a man that God has for you! Trusting in divine guidance becomes pivotal. When decisions align with God’s plan, the journey to finding a faithful companion becomes clearer.
The Pitfall of Self-Will.
But if you decide to do it your own way, try to buy your way into a man’s heart by offering your body, it usually wouldn’t work out because that is not God’s order. May God grant you more wisdom.