Dating is one of those things that everyone has advice about. Some people make it sound casual, like it is not that deep, while others overcomplicate it. But here’s the truth: dating matters because your heart is involved, and who you give your heart to can shape your life.
God never meant for dating to feel like guesswork. He gave us principles to protect us, not to cage us.
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.2 Corinthians 6:14
Let’s talk through some very practical “do’s that can help you keep God at the center while protecting your heart.
1. Pray first, not last.
Too often, people start dating and then only run to God when things get messy. But prayer should come first. Before saying “yes” to someone, talk to God about it. While you are in it, keep praying.
Prayer keeps you sensitive to warning signs, helps you see beyond emotions, and anchors you when things get shaky.
2. Be yourself, don’t fake it
Do not try to act like someone you are not just to impress the other person. If you are passionate about your faith, say it. If you have boundaries, be open about them.
Pretending only leads to disappointment later. The right relationship will allow you to be fully you without shame.
3. Watch their actions, not just what they say.
It is easy for someone to say all the right things, but words without action are empty. Pay attention: Do they live out their faith, or is it just talk?
Actions will always reveal character more than sweet promises.
4. Push each other closer to God.
A godly relationship should make you grow spiritually, not shrink. If praying together, studying Scripture, or encouraging each other in your walk with God feels awkward in your relationship, pause and think.
The best relationships are the ones that don’t just make you happy but also make you holy.
Boundaries are not about fear or being “too spiritual.” They are about respect—for yourself, for the other person, and for God. Talk about them early. Stick to them.
When you cross them, regret often follows. When you honor them, peace follows.
6 Smart Ways to Support an Insecure Fiancé Before Saying ‘I Do’
Insecurity in a relationship can show up in many ways — jealousy, control, fear of losing you, constant suspicion, or a need for reassurance. If you notice your fiancé struggles with insecurity, don’t ignore it. It’s better to face it now than to fight it later in marriage.
Here are six practical ways to handle it wisely:
1. Don’t Take It Personal — Understand the Root
Insecurity often has a root — past hurt, rejection, family issues, or low self-worth. Instead of getting defensive, take time to understand where it’s coming from. Ask gentle questions, listen, and show empathy.
A soft answer turns away wrath. – Proverbs 15:1
Instead of saying, “You’re too jealous!”, you can say, “I notice you get worried when I talk to others; is there something I can do to help you feel more secure?”
2. Reassure Him — But Don’t Feed the Fear
Everyone needs reassurance, but constant validation can create dependency. Be affirming without encouraging insecurity.
Encourage one another and build each other up. – 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Occasionally remind him that you love and value him, but also encourage him to find his confidence in God, not in your attention alone.
3. Set Clear Boundaries Early
If insecurity leads to controlling behavior (checking your phone, monitoring your moves, isolating you), set healthy boundaries now. It’s a red flag if it goes unchecked.
Let your ‘Yes’ be yes and your ‘No,’ no. – Matthew 5:37
Explain that trust is the foundation of love, and boundaries are not rejection — they’re protection for both hearts.
4. Pray Together About It
Bring the issue before God in prayer. The Holy Spirit can do what words cannot. Insecurity is often a heart issue that only God can fully heal.
Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you.– 1 Peter 5:7
Make prayer a regular part of your relationship. It keeps hearts open and teaches both of you to depend on God, not each other.
5. Encourage Personal Growth and Healing
Don’t try to fix him — encourage him to grow. Suggest counseling, mentorship, or personal reflection.
The truth shall make you free. – John 8:32
If he’s open, suggest premarital counseling or reading books on emotional maturity together. Growth before marriage brings peace after marriage.
6. Know When to Pause or Walk Away
If insecurity turns toxic — constant suspicion, verbal abuse, or control — don’t ignore it. Marriage doesn’t cure insecurity; it magnifies it.
Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. – Proverbs 4:23
Seek godly counsel. It’s better to delay a wedding than to live in lifelong emotional bondage.
Final Thought:
True love is not built on fear but on trust. You can support your fiancé, but he must also take responsibility for his healing. Build your relationship on God’s truth, not insecurity.
6 Smart Ways to Support an Insecure Fiancé Before Saying ‘I Do’
For singles, the “talking stage” can be exciting. You’re getting to know someone, conversations feel endless, and hope is high. But many hearts have been broken here—not because of love lost, but because of love assumed.
Guard your heart. Don’t start calling someone “my man” or “my woman” just because you’ve been talking for a few weeks. Clarity protects emotions. Don’t assume, seek clarity. Ask, “What are we doing?” Someone who is serious will not be afraid to define their intentions.
Couples, guarding your heart matters too. You’re married, yes—but guard it from distractions, from emotional bonds with others, from careless comparisons. Affairs don’t usually start in the bedroom; they start with unchecked conversations… they start in the mind.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.Proverbs 4:23
Guarding your heart in the talking stage is not about suspicion; it’s about wisdom.
Whether single or married, don’t let emotions outrun clarity. Protect your heart so it remains whole for the one God has truly given you.
Life’s storms are inevitable i.e financial struggles, health challenges, misunderstandings, or external pressures. But when a couple stands firm together in Christ, these storms do not destroy; they strengthens.
Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. (Matthew 7:24–25)
The key to standing firm is building your relationship on the solid foundation of God’s Word. A marriage built on emotions or convenience will falter when trials come, but one anchored in Christ remains unshaken.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. (Isaiah 43:2)
God’s presence sustains couples in their darkest hours.
Storms also reveal the strength of unity. When husband and wife choose to face trials together, praying, encouraging, and lifting each other up, they overcome what would otherwise break them apart.
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. (Psalm 46:1)
Every storm is an opportunity for growth. So, instead of focusing on the hardship, focus on what God is teaching your marriage. Challenges can deepen intimacy, build faith, and produce testimonies that inspire others. With Christ at the center, couples can declare with confidence: The storm may rage, but our foundation is unshakable.
Falling in love is beautiful, but sustaining it after saying yes is where real work begins. Whether you’re single, preparing for marriage, or already married, love needs daily nurturing to thrive. Here are practical steps to keep that flame burning.
1. Keep God at the Center
Every lasting relationship stands on a solid foundation. That foundation is God.
Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it – Psalm 127:1, NKJV.
Praying together, studying the Word, and seeking God’s guidance create spiritual unity. A relationship built on Him can weather storms.
2. Communicate with Openness and Grace
Love flourishes in honest, kind communication. Don’t bottle up feelings or expect your partner to read your mind.
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt– Colossians 4:6, NIV.
Speak truthfully, listen patiently, and respond with empathy.
3. Choose Forgiveness Daily
No relationship is perfect. Offenses will come, but forgiveness keeps bitterness from taking root.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you– Ephesians 4:32, NIV.
Holding grudges only builds walls; forgiveness builds bridges.
4. Keep the Spark Alive
Intentional effort is needed to keep romance vibrant. Plan date nights, share surprises, laugh together, and celebrate small wins. For singles, this means learning to nurture love beyond the butterflies—through acts of service, patience, and consistency.
5. Grow Together, Not Apart
As life changes, keep evolving together. Support each other’s dreams, pray over each other, and face challenges as a team.
Two are better than one… for if they fall, one will lift up his companion – Ecclesiastes 4:9–10, NKJV.
Final Thought
Saying “Yes” is just the beginning. Sustaining love is a journey of daily choices—anchored in God, seasoned with grace, and strengthened by intentionality. Whether single or married, commit to nurturing your love story so it reflects Christ’s enduring love.
Unspoken assumptions or mismatched expectations create unnecessary conflict. Whether it’s differing views on finances, family, or future plans, failing to address these issues early on sets the stage for disappointment.
Solution: Communicate openly and honestly about your beliefs, goals, and boundaries. Discuss practical matters like career aspirations, parenting styles, and financial management to ensure alignment.
2. Cultural Influences Over Biblical Principles
The world promotes ideas about love and relationships that contradict God’s design. Casual hookups, cohabitation before marriage, and prioritizing physical intimacy over emotional and spiritual connection undermine lasting bonds.
Solution: Anchor your dating practices in Scripture. Study passages like Ephesians 5:21-33 and 1 Corinthians 7 to understand God’s blueprint for relationships. Reject cultural norms that dishonor His plan for love and marriage.
3. Neglecting Personal Growth
Healthy relationships start with healthy individuals. If you’re not actively growing spiritually, emotionally, and mentally, you risk bringing immaturity or baggage into dating.
Galatians 6:4-5 calls us to test our own actions and carry our load responsibly.
Solution: Focus on becoming the best version of yourself before pursuing a partner. Develop qualities like patience, kindness, humility, and self-control. A strong foundation prepares you to contribute positively to a relationship.
Final Thought:
Dating doesn’t have to flop—it can be a meaningful journey when approached with wisdom, intentionality, and reliance on God. By avoiding common pitfalls such as unclear purpose, emotional infatuation, ignoring red flags, and neglecting personal growth, you position yourself for success.
Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.Psalm 37:4
As you seek first His kingdom and righteousness (Matthew 6:33), trust that He will guide you to the right person—or help you embrace singleness as a season of preparation and blessing.
Whether you’re currently dating or preparing for future relationships, commit to honoring God in every interaction. Let love flow from a place of obedience and faith, knowing that His plans for you are good and His timing is perfect. After all, true love doesn’t just happen—it’s cultivated through surrender to His will.
How to avoid pitfalls while dating is a continuation of yesterday’s devotional. If you missed it, you can read it HERE.
1. Prioritizing Emotions Over Commitment
Modern dating culture often emphasizes “testing the waters” through casual relationships, which can lead to broken hearts and damaged trust.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 highlights the importance of seasons—there’s a time for everything, including serious commitment.
Solution: Approach dating with seriousness and integrity. Avoid playing games or stringing someone along. If you’re not ready for marriage, consider waiting until you are before pursuing romantic relationships.
2. Failing to Involve God
When God isn’t at the center of dating, decisions become self-centered and shortsighted.
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.Jeremiah 17:9
Relying solely on emotions or personal judgment leads to poor choices.
Solution: Pray consistently for discernment and direction. Invite God into every step of the process, trusting His timing and provision. Seek partners who prioritize their relationship with Him above worldly desires.
3. Rushing the Process
Impatience often sabotages dating. In our fast-paced world, there’s pressure to find “the one” quickly, leading to premature commitments or unrealistic expectations.
Isaiah 40:31 encourages us to wait on the Lord: “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.”
Solution: Be willing to invest time in getting to know someone deeply. Allow relationships to develop naturally, focusing on building trust and understanding rather than rushing toward milestones.
4. Settling for Less Than God’s Best
Fear of being alone or societal pressures can cause people to settle for partners who don’t align with God’s standards.
Malachi 2:15 reminds us that God seeks godly offspring and desires marriages rooted in holiness.
Solution: Hold out for someone who reflects Christlike character and shares your faith. Don’t compromise on non-negotiables like purity, honesty, and spiritual alignment. Remember, God’s best is always worth the wait.
Dating is often seen as the gateway to finding a lifelong partner, but for many, it ends in disappointment, frustration, or heartbreak. While dating itself isn’t inherently wrong, its misalignment with biblical principles and godly intentions can lead to failure. If your dating experiences have flopped, it’s worth examining why—and seeking God’s wisdom to navigate relationships His way.
Here are some common reasons dating falters and how to avoid these pitfalls.
1. Lack of Clear Purpose
Many people enter dating without a clear understanding of their goals. Are you dating casually, seeking friendship, or pursuing marriage? Without purpose, dating becomes aimless and prone to confusion.
Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways.Proverbs 4:26
Solution: Define your intentions before entering a relationship. Ask yourself;
“Am I ready for marriage?”
“Does this person share my values and vision?”
Seek guidance from Scripture and trusted mentors to ensure your motives align with God’s will.
2. Emotional Infatuation Over True Compatibility
Infatuation—often mistaken for love—is fleeting and based on feelings rather than substance. It thrives on superficial attraction or excitement but lacks depth.
Song of Solomon warns against rushing into romance without wisdom (Song of Solomon 2:7).
Solution: Focus on building a foundation of friendship and shared values before pursuing a deeper commitment. Evaluate whether the person demonstrates spiritual maturity, character, and compatibility beyond physical appeal.
3. Ignoring Red Flags
Sometimes, we overlook warning signs because we’re blinded by emotions or desperate for connection. Behaviors like dishonesty, disrespect, or unresolved baggage should never be ignored.
Matthew 7:15-20 reminds us that bad fruit reveals unhealthy roots.
Solution: Trust your instincts and seek counsel from wise believers if something feels off. Don’t justify harmful behaviors or hope they’ll change overnight. Healthy relationships require mutual respect and accountability.
How Men Can Handle Their Fiancée’s Insecurities Before Marriage
1. Reassure Her Constantly
Insecurity often grows where there’s uncertainty. Be intentional about reassuring her of your love and commitment. Tell her often that she’s important to you, not just in words but through actions.
Perfect love casts out fear. — 1 John 4:18
When love is expressed genuinely, it helps silence her fears.
2. Be Consistent and Transparent
Avoid giving mixed signals. Consistency builds trust. Keep your promises, show up when you say you will, and be open about your friendships, plans, and priorities.
If she doesn’t have to guess where she stands with you, her insecurity will begin to fade.
3. Listen to Her Feelings Without Judging
Don’t dismiss her insecurities as “drama” or “immaturity.” Listen to understand, not to argue. Many women just want to be heard and understood.
Ask, “What makes you feel this way?” — and truly pay attention.
Empathy disarms insecurity faster than correction.
4. Set Clear Boundaries With Other Women
Respect builds safety. Let her see that she’s the only woman who has your emotional attention. Avoid flirty or secretive behavior with other women, especially online.
Abstain from all appearance of evil. — 1 Thessalonians 5:22
Protecting her heart from doubt is part of loving her well.
5. Help Her Grow in Her Identity in Christ
Encourage her to see herself the way God sees her — loved, chosen, and valuable. Pray with her and speak life over her.
Send her a scripture or affirmation like, “You are fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14).
Remind her that her worth isn’t based on comparison or fear but on God’s love.
6. Be Patient as She Heals
Insecurity may come from past heartbreak, rejection, or low self-esteem. Don’t get frustrated if she’s not “fixed” quickly. Healing takes time, and your steady love can help her bloom.
Love is patient, love is kind…— 1 Corinthians 13:4
Before marriage, your role is to create an atmosphere of trust, love, and spiritual growth. If both of you overcome insecurities before saying “I do,” you’ll build a stronger, more secure foundation for your future home.
Tobi and Amaka had just argued. Tobi knew he was wrong, but pride kept his lips sealed. Amaka waited for the words “I’m sorry,” but instead she got silence. Days passed, tension grew, and what started as a small spark became a wall between them.
Does that sound familiar? For some, saying “sorry” feels harder than climbing a mountain. But here’s the truth: apologies heal wounds faster than silence ever will.
Dear Singles, don’t ignore this in dating. If the person you’re with never admits fault, pay attention. A heart that cannot bend in humility will eventually break under pride. The ability to say “I was wrong” is a sign of maturity, not weakness.
And you, too, are you humble enough to apologise?
Couples, hear this: stop waiting for the other person to blink first. If you were wrong, say so quickly. Even if you were not wrong but your words hurt, apologise for the pain caused. Forgiveness flows where humility leads.
He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.Proverbs 28:13
Don’t let pride kill love. It’s not about who wins—it’s about keeping the bond alive. “I’m sorry” might just save your relationship more than you realise.
Marriage is not only about companionship and love; it is also a calling to serve God together. When two people unite under Christ, their home becomes a platform for ministry. Joshua declared, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15). This statement captures the essence of a Christ-centered marriage that serves God as one.
When couples view marriage as a shared ministry, they see beyond their personal desires and embrace kingdom purpose. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says that “a cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” The third strand in every successful Christian marriage is Christ, who strengthens the bond and empowers the couple to fulfill their divine assignment.
Serving together does not always mean standing on a pulpit. It can mean raising godly children, showing hospitality, giving generously, or simply being a light to neighbors and colleagues.
Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. (Romans 12:10–11)
Marriage as ministry requires intentionality. It means praying together, setting spiritual goals as a family, and using your unique gifts in unity. When couples serve God together, their marriage becomes more than a partnership; it becomes a testimony of Christ’s love. Such a marriage not only strengthens the couple but also impacts their community and generations to come.
Emotional maturity is most times overlooked, but it is crucial in any healthy relationship. It shows itself in the ability to handle conflict calmly, take responsibility for mistakes, and respond to stress without resorting to hurtful words or actions. Someone who is emotionally mature does not overreact to small setbacks, can communicate their feelings clearly, and demonstrates patience and empathy toward others.
Choosing a partner who is emotionally grounded allows the relationship to grow in trust, understanding, and stability, rather than becoming a source of constant tension or drama.
4. Intentions and Goals
Before entering a relationship, it is important to understand why the person wants to be with you and what they hope to build together. Are they looking for a deep, meaningful connection that aligns with God’s purpose, or are they simply seeking convenience, validation, or temporary companionship?
It is also vital to consider whether their long-term goals—career, family, lifestyle, or ministry—complement your own. Misaligned intentions or incompatible goals often lead to misunderstanding, frustration, and heartbreak. Clarity in these areas ensures that your time and heart are invested wisely, with purpose rather than uncertainty.
5. Influence and Environment
A person is shaped by the company they keep, the habits they cultivate, and the environment they move in. Before pursuing a relationship, observe the people who surround them and the choices they make in daily life. Are these influences positive, encouraging, and aligned with godly principles? Or do they promote compromise, distraction, or unhealthy behaviors?
The environment someone lives in can subtly shape their character and decisions, which in turn impacts the relationship. Choosing a partner whose life reflects godly values strengthens the foundation of your connection and helps both of you grow closer to God.
Conclusion:
Relationships are not just I like you, you like me, they go beyond that, they are also about discernment, wisdom, and alignment with God. Take the time to reflect, observe, and pray deeply before allowing someone into your heart. A relationship entered with care, clarity, and guidance from the Spirit can strengthen your character, honor God, and lay a foundation for a healthy, lasting partnership.
Not every connection or attraction is meant to become a relationship. Many of us rush in, driven by feelings, loneliness, or the pressure of what others expect, without stopping to carefully consider whether the person and the timing align with God’s will.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. – Proverbs 4:23
A relationship is more than companionship; it has the power to shape your life, your character, and your spiritual walk. Before you allow someone to take a place in your heart, here are five important things to look out for
1. Character over Charm
It is easy to be drawn to someone’s charm, but charm alone is never enough to sustain a relationship. Words, gestures, and attention can be impressive at first, yet the true measure of a person lies in their character—how they act when no one is watching, how they treat people who cannot benefit them, and how they handle difficult situations.
Someone with strong character will be honest, reliable, and consistent, even when it is inconvenient or when mistakes are made. Choosing someone with genuine character protects your heart from unnecessary pain and lays a foundation of trust that charm alone cannot provide.
2. Spiritual Alignment
Spiritual alignment goes far beyond attending the same church or believing in the same doctrines. It is about sharing similar convictions, priorities, and a mutual desire to follow God wholeheartedly.
Before you pursue a relationship, consider whether this person will encourage your growth in faith, challenge you to become more Christlike, and honor God in their own life.
A relationship without spiritual alignment may feel comfortable at first, but over time, the differences in values and priorities will create tension and conflict. When both hearts are aligned with God, the relationship has a foundation that is far stronger than attraction alone.
Sometimes the strongest message in a relationship is not what you say but what you choose not to say. Silence can be golden, but it can also be dangerous—depending on how you use it.
For singles, silence might mean learning to walk away from someone who only entertains your emotions but has no intention of committing. You know those kinds of people, right? Silence can also mean choosing not to argue endlessly with someone who clearly doesn’t share your values. It’s guarding your peace instead of wasting words on someone who doesn’t listen.
For married couples, silence can be a tool or a weapon. It is a tool when you hold your tongue in a heated moment to avoid saying things you’ll regret. It becomes a weapon when you shut down communication and use silence as punishment. The first builds trust, the second destroys it.
Just by way of summary: silence should never mean avoidance. If you’re single, don’t keep silent about your boundaries and expectations. If you’re married, don’t bury issues under silence—because silence doesn’t heal wounds; conversations do.
Now let’s talk about how to use silence wisely.
Pause before speaking in anger.
Walk away when someone is baiting you into unnecessary drama.
Take time to think before responding. Then, when emotions have settled, return with words that heal rather than hurt.
In love, silence is not about shutting down—it’s about holding on for better words to come. It’s choosing peace without abandoning truth. It’s waiting for the right moment to speak, so that what you say edifies, not fries. (Smiles)
If you master when to be silent and when to speak, your relationship—whether single or married—will carry less drama and more meaning.
How Men Can Earn Authority in Relationships or Marriage
Yesterday, we started looking at how and why men are losing authority. We will continue in that light today.
How to Earn the Authority You’re Demanding.
1) Master Yourself First
“Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” (Proverbs 25:28)
Get your finances in order
Control your temper
Break free from addictions
Develop emotional intelligence
Take care of your physical health
Grow spiritually through consistent discipline
2) Serve Before You Lead
Find ways to serve your partner or family without being asked
Anticipate needs
Do the unglamorous tasks
Sacrifice your preferences
Put their well-being before your comfort
3) Become a Student
“Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” (Proverbs 4:7 KJV)
Read books on marriage, leadership, and emotional intelligence
Listen more than you speak
Seek counsel from older, wiser men
Learn from your mistakes instead of repeating them
4) Lead by Example
“In everything set them an example by doing what is good.” (Titus 2:7)
Don’t just tell your family what to do, show them. You want them to pray? They should see you praying. You want them to read Scripture? They should see you reading Scripture. You want respect? Show them what respectability looks like.
5) Own Your Failures
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (James 5:16)
Real men apologize when they’re wrong. They admit mistakes. They don’t blame others but take responsibility.
6) Seek God First
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:33)
Your relationship with God must be your foundation. Everything else flows from there.
Biblical submission is a woman’s RESPONSE to godly leadership, not her obligation despite ungodly leadership. When you love your wife like Christ loves the church, when you’re serving, sacrificing, protecting, providing, and prioritizing her good, submission becomes natural. It’s not forced or demanded, it just flows from trust and respect.
It’s time to grow up, earn the authority you’re demanding. It’s time to lead like Jesus led through service, sacrifice, and love. The women are scaling up. The question is: Will you?
There’s a growing crisis in relationships today, and it’s making both men and women frustrated, confused, and bitter. Men are asking, Why won’t she submit? while women are asking, Why should I follow someone who acts this way?
The present generation of men wants the authority their grandfathers had. They want to quote “wives submit to your husbands” while conveniently skipping the part about dying for their wives.
Meanwhile, women are waking up, educated, financially independent, spiritually growing, emotionally intelligent, and asking a fair question: “Why should I submit to someone who hasn’t earned the right to lead?”
“Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.” (James 3:1)
If you want authority, understand that God holds leaders to a higher standard. Yes, the Bible speaks about male leadership in marriage and family.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” (Ephesians 5:25-28)
Did you catch that? Biblical authority isn’t about SACRIFICE nor CONTROL. It’s about loving your wife the way Christ loved the church. How did Christ love the church? He died for it. Not occasionally inconvenienced or slightly bothered. He gave everything. He put her needs above His own. He washed feet. He served. He protected. He provided. He led by example.
That’s the biblical standard for male authority. If you’re not willing to meet that standard, you have no business demanding submission.
Time is one of the most precious gifts we can give. Women crave meaningful moments spent connecting with loved ones. Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us that timing matters—making time for her communicates priority and intentionality.
Plan regular date nights, outings, or quiet evenings at home.
Engage in activities she enjoys.
Minimize distractions like phones or TV to focus on each other.
2. Appreciate Her Efforts
Women invest significant energy into caring for others, managing households, and contributing professionally. Recognizing her efforts boosts morale and affirms her worth. Colossians 3:23 says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord.”
Verbally acknowledge her hard work and creativity.
Surprise her with small tokens of appreciation.
Share household responsibilities to lighten her load.
3. Pursue Her Passions and Dreams
God created women with unique gifts, talents, and callings. Supporting her aspirations honors His purpose for her life. Philippians 4:13 declares, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
Encourage her to step out of her comfort zone and take risks.
Provide resources or opportunities to develop her skills.
Celebrate her achievements and cheer her on during setbacks.
To love and respect a woman requires empathy, patience, and a commitment to loving them as Christ does. By prioritizing unconditional love, respect, communication, and support, you create an environment where women feel valued, empowered, and cherished.
Proverbs 31:10 poses the question, “Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.” Indeed, every woman is precious in God’s sight—and by honoring her needs, you reflect His heart for her. Whether you’re nurturing a spouse, daughter, sister, or friend, let your actions stem from a place of love, humility, and reverence for God’s design.
Remember, to love and respect a woman isn’t about perfection—it’s about effort. As you seek to understand and meet the needs of the ladies in your life, pray for wisdom and guidance. Trust that God will use your kindness and care to build stronger, healthier, and more Christ-centered relationships.
Respect is foundational to healthy relationships. Peter 3:7 instructs husbands to treat their wives with honor, recognizing them as co-heirs of God’s grace. Beyond marriage, all women deserve respect for their contributions, opinions, and dignity.
Acknowledge her intelligence, talents, and efforts.
Avoid belittling comments or dismissive behavior.
Encourage her to pursue her dreams and use her gifts.
2. Show Her Affection and Physical Touch
Physical touch—when appropriate and consensual—is a powerful way to communicate love and care. From hugs to holding hands, physical affection reassures women of connection and intimacy. Song of Solomon celebrates the beauty of romantic affection within marriage, while non-romantic touch (like a warm embrace) fosters closeness in friendships and family bonds.
Be mindful of boundaries and cultural norms regarding touch.
Use physical gestures to convey warmth and support.
In marriage, prioritize tenderness and mutual satisfaction.
3. Support Her Roles
Women often juggle multiple roles—mother, wife, professional, caregiver, friend—and need encouragement to balance these responsibilities without losing themselves. Galatians 6:2 says, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
Offer practical help with tasks or errands.
Express gratitude for her sacrifices and hard work.
Encourage self-care and rest so she doesn’t burn out.
4. Help Her Grow Spiritually
A woman’s soul longs for spiritual nourishment and growth. Proverbs 31 describes a virtuous woman whose strength comes from her faith in God. Supporting her spiritual journey strengthens her identity and equips her to face life’s challenges.
Pray with her and for her regularly.
Study Scripture together or discuss sermons/books that inspire her.
Encourage her involvement in ministry or community service.
Every woman has unique needs that shape her emotional, spiritual, relational, and practical well-being. While individual preferences may vary, there are universal desires rooted in God’s design for women as His beloved creations. Whether you’re a husband, father, brother, son, or friend, understanding these needs can help you love and support the ladies in your life more effectively. Here are some key areas to consider:
1. To Be Loved Unconditionally
At the core of every woman’s heart is the longing to be loved deeply and unconditionally. Ephesians 5:25 reminds husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church—selflessly and sacrificially. This principle applies broadly: women want to feel cherished for who they are, not just what they do.
Show affection through words, actions, and thoughtful gestures.
Celebrate her uniqueness and remind her of her value.
Avoid conditional love (“If you do this, I’ll love you more”) and instead offer grace-filled acceptance.
2. To Feel Safe and Secure
Women desire environments where they feel physically, emotionally, and spiritually safe. A secure relationship provides stability, trust, and protection. Psalm 91:4 paints a picture of divine security: “He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings, you will find refuge.”
Create spaces free from judgment, criticism, or manipulation.
Protect her reputation and defend her honor.
Offer reassurance during times of uncertainty or fear.
3. To Be Heard and Understood
Listening is one of the greatest gifts you can give a woman. James 1:19 encourages us to be quick to listen and slow to speak. Women often express themselves verbally as a way to process emotions, share burdens, and connect relationally.
Give her your full attention when she speaks.
Validate her feelings, even if you don’t fully understand them.
Ask thoughtful questions to show genuine interest in her perspective.
As singles and couples, many of us long for a deep, meaningful connection with a life partner. We may try to create this through our own efforts, strategies, and carefully planned timelines, yet often those attempts leave us feeling weary, disappointed, or uncertain. The truth is, love is not something we can fully control or manufacture. God’s Word reminds us that He is the ultimate author of our stories, and when we place our trust in Him, we discover peace and assurance that His plan is always good.
Scripture gives us this promise:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”(Jeremiah 29:11).
These words reassure us that God sees the bigger picture. While we may feel anxious about whether we will ever meet “the one,” God is never rushed or late. His timing is perfect, and His ways are far beyond our understanding.
Instead of focusing on what we lack, this season of waiting can be an invitation to deepen our relationship with Him. When we draw near to God, we are transformed into the people He created us to be—whole, confident, and ready to love in a Christ-centered way. Trusting God does not mean passivity, but rather an active surrender: choosing to walk in faith while preparing our hearts for His blessings.
Jesus Himself encourages us
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7
When it comes to relationships, prayer is not only about asking for a partner but also about aligning our hearts with God’s will.
Through prayer, we can:
– Seek God’s guidance and wisdom to recognize the right person when they come into our lives.
– Ask for protection from unhealthy or harmful relationships that may distract us from His plan.
– Pray for patience, resisting the temptation to rush ahead of God’s timing.
– Request clarity on our values, priorities, and non-negotiables so that we pursue relationships grounded in faith.
When we consistently bring our desires before the Lord, we open ourselves to His peace. Even if His answer looks different from our expectations, we can be assured that His will leads to lasting joy. Love found through prayer is not built on fleeting emotions but on the steady foundation of God’s promises.
For those who are already married, prayer continues to be a vital lifeline. It strengthens the bond between husband and wife by inviting God to be at the center of the relationship. Couples can pray together for unity, wisdom in decision-making, and grace to forgive and love each other as Christ loves the church.
Prayer also helps guard the marriage against division and selfishness, replacing them with compassion, patience, and understanding. By seeking God together, spouses grow not only closer to Him but also closer to each other, building a partnership rooted in faith and sustained by His Spirit.
As we journey through seasons of waiting or seasons of commitment, may we remain hopeful and faithful, trusting that the One who holds our future also knows the deepest desires of our hearts.
