Let’s take a quick look at how to avoid sexual compromise. Sexual compromises are violations of God’s injunction and will always end up in a loss of favor from God. Since you don’t want this, the next best thing to do is to actively seek to pit the flesh under.
I will talk about Two ways:
(1) Marriage
1Co 7:2 KJV Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
Let’s also check this in the Message Translation
1Co 7:2 MSG Certainly–but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder.
The Bible recognizes that sexual drives are strong. Don’t be holier than God. Simply get married! What if you are already married? Stay married and focus on your spouse!
What is the second way to handle sexual compromise?
(2) Run away.
1Co 6:18 KJV Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
Flee: Greek – “pheugo” – to run away, by implication to shun, and by analogy to vanish. Also means to escape.
Don’t bother to speak phonetics, run
When the Bible says “flee,” don’t say “let’s reason together”
The purpose of your body is that you might serve the Lord, not for sexual antics.
1Co 6:13 KJV Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.
A lot of singles and married couples are often caught up in the hustles and bustles of life and become distracted. Here is a reminder list of what you should do regularly to each other and how to go about it.
1. Pray for him.Pray for her.
Let it be genuine. This helps you to harness the help of God to come to bear for you. Genuine prayers for each other will go a long way to keep you together. Minimize the quarrels and maximize the times for prayers.
2. Call each other daily.
Whether you will see each other later in the day is not the issue, the issue is that communication is the live wire of any relationship or marriage that will survive. Keep in touch. Send SMS. Use chats.
3. Exchange gifts regularly.
It doesn’t have to be expensive! But let it be touching. Notice what I wrote, exchange gifts; not collect gifts! Those little gestures help to keep the fire of your relationship and marriage aflame.
4. Share with him or her what God is dealing with you in His word.
Whatever God tells you in your devotion or in your personal walk with God, will also bless him or her as long as it blesses you. You don’t have to make it look like you are in another service when you want to do that, but you make it as natural as possible.
5. Encourage one another.
You are his number-one fan. You are her number-one fan. Don’t discourage each other. Don’t dissipate your energy on criticism. Be aware that your input goes a long way because you are the closest person.
6. Forgive each other so that your heavenly father will forgive you also.
You are not perfect, are you? So don’t become a judge, rather lovingly overlook and forget any mistakes that are meant to show up.
7. Let corrections be done in love.
Do you know it takes up to nine affirming statements to be able to accommodate and see one criticism as it should be seen? But you know what people do is give nine brutally critical statements and one or none of affirming statements. It will not yield any positive result like that.
8. Seek to help each other in obeying God’s instructions.
You are the greatest influence. Don’t encourage him or her to sin. Stand on the path of truth and help him or her to resist temptations.
9. Don’t feed each other’s weaknesses.
Rather, you should balance him or her out, because you will always have the strength and in areas where he or she is weak. Be available to help him stand. Be there to help her say No to iniquity. Don’t be seen as a partner in crime, or partner in iniquity. Let him or her be able to say, I trust my fiance/fiancee/spouse; he will never compromise. Trust one another and protect your trust.
10. Make sure you have a mentor you talk to from time to time.
Sometimes, the very intense issues and disagreements are dissolved with a few statements. Well, that is the grace of God upon our lives and upon this ministry; to provide positive intervention in crisis-laden marriages and to provide godly counsels for those in courtship.
Accountability to those who have done what you are trying to do is a lot of wisdom. Stay close to these devotionals that have been succor to a lot of marriages and relationships across the world, discuss them from time to time, and keep on making adjustments! So help us, God!
So we went around the rooms welcoming the new students on that wonderful evening. This would play out to be the very first time I set my eyes upon her.
Wondering who sent us that day, but went anyway.
So we got to her room and it happened that we spent the longest time with her, and interestingly, I had the shortest conversation with her because my two other friends had a common ground with her immediately while I had none!
Don Moen just released a hit song at the time and it happened that she was playing that song when we entered her room.
My two friends knew the song, while I did not have a clue, having been raised as a purebred Anglican Church guy.
So they sang along and discussed the song while I just looked on.
While there, God told me point-blank she would be my wife. While she was stunningly beautiful, I was not in love. I admired her, but there was no desire then.
I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I do believe in a “knowing at first sight’ This was exactly what happened to me.
You know, the Holy Spirit informed me of what was to happen but did not ask me to go and ask her out immediately.
And this is where we often make mistakes. We often jump out and the lady is not ready and you get a resounding No! When God speaks to you and you have a burden, find out whether it is a burden for PREPARATION or PERFORMANCE.
Do not follow your feelings, follow His voice! That is where peace is and that is where fulfilment lies!
By divine orchestrations, we found ourselves together at Ogun State University, Now known as Olabisi Onabanjo University. I came in 1991/92 session and she came in 1993/94 session.
I was two years ahead of her, in 300 level while she came in as a new student.
Most of my friends had girlfriends, I had none. They would often bring girls to the hall and the girls would spend days and sometimes weeks!
I was always amazed, like, what did they tell these “fine girls” that made them abandon their own schools and classes and relocate to another school to play the role of “small Mummy?”
And yes, you should never do this as a young lady!
Listen to me, every time you do that, it will always culminate in some regret!
You are never able to “hold” a man or secure him, by subjecting yourself to such “affliction!” That is the only thing I can call it!
I call it an affliction because on one of the occasions, one of the guys who had “camped” a girl for two weeks straight took a belt and beat up his girlfriend! I was the one who went to collect the belt from him! Wasn’t that an affliction?
It was one of the reason I did all my best to get a “one-man-room” because guys who brought in girls easily “de-roomed” their roommates. This means the roommate had to look elsewhere to sleep!
The parents of these girls would never imagine where their daughters were and the parents of the guys too would never imagine their wonderful sons were already on that lane! The more reason as parents, you consciously start inculcating the right values in your children!
Back to how I met her! On her very first night, my self and two other friends went round to welcome the new students that we referred to as “Jambites!
So what happened?
I will continue from tomorrow! Leave in comment section if you want me to continue tomorrow!
Happy new month! This month will be glorious for us all. We started writing on this topic three days ago. Did you miss them? Not to worry! see them below.
Another dangerous combo is ‘two people who are deceptive.’ They both operate under the delusion of grandeur. They tell themselves lies and refuse to confront each other. They sweep things under the carpet and live under illusions. They deliberately flout God’s principles hoping that somehow things will work out. Everybody around them wonders why they can’t see the obvious. They are unapproachable and unreachable. But the scripture is very clear:
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. (Galatians 6:7 KJV)
No matter how we pretend, we cannot mock God. You can do all of that with humans, but not with God. At the end of the day, it is not worth wasting time on what would not work.
7. Two unforgiving people
Lastly, two people who refuse to forgive one another easily can block the blessings of God in their marriage, home, and life. Bitterness of heart is a blessing blocker. If one of the couples is forgiving and praying for the other, it can be easier to resolve the issues, but when both parties are hurt and bitter from time to time, they are not helping themselves, they are not helping their home and of course, the inflow of God’s blessings and favour will be truncated.
Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; (Hebrews 12:15 KJV)
The root of bitterness in a marriage will eventually spring up and get everybody including children defiled.
The way out
So what do you do? Seek help. Don’t keep quiet and watch things degenerate. Re-connect to God and pray a lot. Seek wisdom from pastors or mentors. Seek to understand your spouse and see how he or she is thinking to have the right perspective. I pray concerning every storm in your relationship and or marriage this morning, be still in Jesus’ name! I speak the peace of God, Shalom, not missing, nothing broken over you and yours in Jesus’ name!
3. Two people where one is born again and the other is not
Here is another scenario that doesn’t always play out well, except with patience, prayers, and perseverance. I always advise singles not to think of getting married to someone who doesn’t have a relationship with God. It would always be filled with challenges that you might have to fight alone because you do not agree with your choice of weapons. You want to pray, but he or she thinks you are just being fanatical.
That can be very disconcerting. It is always a good combo when both agree and are going in the same direction in terms of belief systems and practices.
4. Two sentimental people
When two sentimental people get married, their lives will be devoid of principles that are meant to keep them focused and energetic in their marriage and home. Two sentimental people will always judge a situation from a sentimental point of view rather than principles. They can ruin themselves in no time because you cannot go very far living and swimming in the ocean of sentiments. They would not be able to achieve much because they would have excuses for their mediocre lifestyles.
5. Two angry people
Two angry people in a relationship and marriage cannot go far. See the scriptures:
Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul (Proverbs 22:24-25 KJV)
The scripture here advises that you should not get involved with somebody who has anger problems and who refuses to work at it. An angry man can take a knife or gun one day and end it all. An angry wife can ruin things in seconds. Take a look at the Message Translation:
Don’t hang out with angry people; don’t keep company with hotheads. Bad temper is contagious–– don’t get infected (Proverbs 22:24-25 Message)
As singles and married couples, you are to deliberately work things out in your relationship or marriage and with the help of the Holy Spirit.
Here is what the scripture says:
Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. (Philippians 2:12 KJV)
In a relationship and or marriage, you are to work things out. A relationship or courtship does not lead to marriage automatically, you are to work things out in your disposition, attitude, and reactions. A marriage does not just succeed; you are to work things out between yourselves.
Now some combinations will surely crack along the way. When you find yourself in these spots, you need to seek help prayerfully and with a lot of wisdom to address the lurking issues.
Here are those combinations:
1. Two people who are unbelievers
Two people who are unbelievers may love themselves and may be committed to each other, but when the storms of life come, they will fight their battles alone and you know, some of those battles can be very fierce. They will not have God’s support since they don’t have a relationship with God. They will not have the benefit of a relationship with God and it can be very intense! They need to connect with God!
2. Two people who are believers but refuse to grow
The second group of couples may be believers but whose minds are not renewed. The only thing is that they already have a relationship with God, but apart from that, they are still carnal. They still do their stuff like unbelievers would do. They still want to have fun in forbidden areas and they still want to explore the perverse, which would often come with dire consequences. My advice for couples in this group is that they seek help as soon as possible.
Thoughts or mindsets are very powerful. The mind rules the man. Where the mind goes, the man follows. Victory in life is so much as the victory in your mind.
If you can master your mind, then you can positively channel it for a victorious living. Your level of victory in life is directly proportionate to the level of victory you have in your mind or soul.
Now your mind is the seat of your will, thoughts, emotions and your intellect.
3Jn 1:2 (KJV) Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.
The soundness or health of our minds or souls is so important that we should constantly be checking on the state of our minds.
You need to constantly check your thoughts. Are your thoughts leading you to victory in your relationship, marriage, and life?
You must see these negative thoughts as they truly are. They can destroy your relationship and marriage if you don’t destroy them.
The Bible teaches us how to handle our thoughts, especially the negative ones that can destroy our lives and marriages.
2Co 10:4-5 (KJV) (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) [5] Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
Every negative, ungodly, selfish thought must be cast down. They must not be allowed to govern your marriage, home, and life.
You have to take up that responsibility because nobody will do it on your behalf.
How do you handle negative thoughts? You use godly thoughts to cast down those negative thoughts or mindsets.
Here are ten wrong mindsets or thoughts that can ruin your marriage.
1. My spouse hates me and only shows he loves me when he or she wants something from me.
2. There is no ‘God’s perfect will’ in marriage. Just marry anybody, bear his name, and don’t expect too much.
3. There are no blissful marriages. It exists only as a figment of one’s imagination.
4. Husbands don’t have the ability to love their wives.
5. As a wife, I refuse to allow my husband full authority over my life. He will still end up hurting and cheating me.
6. Faithfulness in marriage is not real. Just pretend everything is okay and pray you don’t get caught or catch your spouse in adultery
7. You don’t have to be one hundred percent sincere, open, or transparent, it’s not worth it.
8. Without money in marriage, there is no love.
9. The Bible, God’s principles, or learning about marriage is not necessary or very relevant to having a blissful marriage.
10. Once my children are okay, that is okay. Expecting my husband to love me unconditionally is asking for too much.
If you have any of these mindsets, it is time to throw them away and discard them.
These are simply the four most important persons in a marriage or relationship setting that will make it balanced and blissful. We all desire blissful marriages, but have you asked yourself why is it so far-fetched? I think the answer lies in this quadrant of marriage. Know these and know peace
This quadrant includes (not in any particular order)
1. God
2. The person of the Holy Spirit
3. The wife
4. The husband
Knowing each person in this quadrant will go a long way in making a success of your marriage. These four persons are key and are also interwoven. Knowing one at the expense of the other could be detrimental to the success of the union.
It is to be noted that the husband and the wife (fiance and fiancee as the case may be if in a relationship). They are both given the responsibility to first know God, then themselves, appreciate themselves, understand themselves, and celebrate themselves before trying to know and figure out the other person.
As I said earlier the knowledge of all four persons is very important and each has its place.
1. God – the big G
He is the sovereign God who rules in the affairs of men and wants the take the wheel in every life if He is permitted. God instituted marriage and He already figured out that we will have directions and instructions both for our lives and for our marriage. So each of us is to follow this Manual. The extent to which we follow it is the extent to which we will know peace in our home and marriage. God cannot be wrong, so also His word. Follow His instructions to the letter for marriage and you are good to go.
Are you getting blessed? I will continue on this tomorrow by God’s grace. Have a fantastic day!
Character flaws are not death sentences but defects that we should be willing to change. Change doesn’t come easy. However, to grow we all need to change. The only constant thing is change. No one is born with the perfect set of characters, we all learn and cultivate them.
Many character flaws are destructive in relationships and marriage. It is essential to talk about them because once we are in love, we may not realize or pay attention to the signs that character flaws are present in your fiance or fiancee.
Here are four character flaws
1. Pride
Once married you and your spouse are joined together as one and you don’t want to be destroyed along with your spouse. Pride goes before a fall. You will notice pride when your partner has an over-inflated ego, doesn’t listen to correction, thinks he knows it all, and feels they are always the boss. Humility is a virtue and it can be learned. Satan was proud and that was why he was cast down. So if you notice even the slightest trace of pride begin to do something about it. Often the person with the flaw may be ignorant of it.
Job 36:9 (MSG) God tells them where they’ve gone wrong, shows them how their pride has caused their trouble.
2. Insincerity
This is a character flaw that may have been learned from childhood as a coping mechanism. Some use it as a defense mechanism. It is not being truthful. The Bible recommends that our Yea be Yea and our Nay be Nay. When your partner has problems with being sincere you need to pay attention to this character flaw.
3. Laziness
A lazy person is the devil’s workshop. One of the virtues one should look for in a partner is hard work. Not just working hard but also working smart. If you learn to work hard, you will learn to cultivate your garden and grow your barren land turning it into a green pasture. There is dignity in labor while a lazy partner will always find fault with his tools. Fulfilling our destiny requires some level of tenacity and hard work. If you notice your partner is lazy, please pay attention to this character flaw.
Pro 15:19 (MSG) The path of lazy people is overgrown with briers; the diligent walk down a smooth road.
4. Greed
This is another character flaw that will eventually lead to destruction. Yes, one should have the drive to want more in life, but greed happens when there is an insatiable and burning desire for more material things. This is what we call the mundane things. Anyone chasing the mundane things cannot be a God chaser and a chaser of His kingdom. A greedy person will chase shadows at the expense of the real things. A greedy person will neglect his family all in the name of making more money.
Pay close attention to these character defects to avoid stories that touch the heart.
Everyone especially the ladies had a dream marriage in mind, what we call, childhood dreams. (not necessarily a dream wedding). A marriage is far more important than a wedding. Our childhood dreams of a ‘happily ever after’ can come to pass.
How we love to feel loved, is usually expressed in those dreams.
It is best to start preparing for that dream marriage as a single lady or guy.
The problem is that most people do not take the time to pursue their dreams.
Their dreams are not even clear enough to them. They have not sat down to conceptualize their dreams and know what their dreams require.
It remains as a wish and never gets actualized.
I believe the process of writing the vision and making it plain upon tablets that he may run that read (Hab 2:1) is very important.
Habakkuk 2:2 – 3 NKJV [2] Then the Lord answered me and said: “Write the vision And make it plain on tablets, That he may run who reads it. [3] For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, It will not tarry.
As a young person, the dream marriage you have always wanted is not meant to just be a dream, it is meant to be pursued.
Knowledge about marriage, application of what you learned, and prayers are 3 important keys to making your dream marriage come to reality.
Whatever stage you are whether you are single, married, having troubles in your marriage or a relationship about to divorce, you can still pursue your dream.
Here are the 3 keys that can help
1. Knowledge about marriage
Marriage is an institution that requires adequate and proper study. You study and never give up. Be a studious student of marriage before you get married and while you are married.
As a lady, study to understand the guy you will marry and study to know and understand yourself and vice versa. Learn about marriage itself. So many people are making a shipwreck of their marriage at different levels because of a lack of knowledge.
How many books do you have or have you read on marriage is a good question to ask yourself
Remember if wishes were horses, beggars will ride.
2. Application of what you have read.
What you read or learn through books, seminars, and conferences is of no use if they are not applied. It is in the doing that we are blessed.
Knowledge creates awareness. We have Awareness, Application, and Accountability where you become accountable to God who gave you the dream and desire of a blissful marriage
3. Prayers
I believe marriage is not meant to be done outside of God. From choosing the right spouse as a single and being the right spouse ( being compatible) to living and becoming one in marriage. You need God all the way. Prayer allows you to commit yourselves to the author of the marriage institution. You receive the needed guidance and help and you learn to talk to God and listen to Him.
Your dream marriage is worth pursuing. Pursue it and don’t give up. Don’t settle for less.
It’s time for a bit of real talk – physical attraction matters. You don’t want to be stuck with someone who makes you cringe when you see them in the morning. Aim for that “Wow, you look amazing” vibe, not the “how did I get here” morning scream.
Go for somebody you are attracted to! You don’t want to spend the next fifty years married to somebody you don’t appreciate or be proud of because of money! You sure want to get married to somebody that will make you happy. If you spend half the time wishing you had married somebody else because of appearance, it will affect your productivity and you won’t be able to give your best as a spouse!
4. Romance 101 – Mutual Love and Romance:
Now, let’s dive into the lovey-dovey stuff. Mutual love and romance are like bread and butter – a classic combo. Do you know the scriptures want you to stay loved up with your spouse after the wedding and to fill your heart with his or her thoughts?
Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose–– don’t ever quit taking delight in her body. Never take her love for granted! (Proverbs 5:19 Message)
5. Life Purpose Jam – Purpose and Destiny Alignment:
Lastly, we’re getting deep into life talk. Make sure your life purposes align. It’s not a business merger, but you want to ensure you’re both heading in the same direction. No one wants to wake up one day and realize they’re lost in a crazy marital maze!
Do you have a definite assignment from God? Make sure marriage doesn’t swallow up your love for God. There is nothing as terrible as being married with total loss of fulfillment and the nagging thought that you are out of God’s purpose.
When you are head over heels in love, these are some of the things to discuss. Purpose and destiny discussions, not sexual discussions. Alignment in the mind, not in the body!
Hey there! So, you’re on the quest for the perfect life buddy? Let’s break down the five must-haves in a potential spouse.
I met my wife when I was twenty-four and she was twenty-one, while on campus, some twenty-eight years ago! And yes, there was something I was looking out for even though I was young then! Let’s take a look at a few of these elements as they will help us in our quest for a godly lover!
The Big G – Fear of God:
Alright, first things first – the fear of God. Not the “oops, I forgot to do my chores” kind of fear, but more like having a super cool and understanding boss. Beauty fades! Beauty is not the first thing. Some strange women are beautiful and some wicked men are handsome.
But if you are blessed with a handsome man or a beautiful woman who also has the fear of God, you are blessed indeed.
Do you know why I have been faithful to my wife? Do you know why I don’t have girlfriends all over the place? The only reason I have not compromised is that I have the FEAR OF GOD! That was what Joseph had and he ran away from free sex. So, go for the fear of God! Beware of people who have the fear of God temporarily just to get what they want.
Keeping It Real – Integrity and Sincerity:
Next up, we’re talking honesty, integrity, and no cheating at board games!
The scripture says something powerful: The integrity of the upright shall guide them: but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them. (Proverbs 11:3 KJV)
Now, if you come up with arguments like, there is no sincere man, every man is bad and this and that, that is what you will attract. You cannot attract what you don’t believe exists! Don’t conclude on humanity because of your experience with one man! All men are wicked, you are wrong! All ladies are stupid, you are wrong as well. You need to renew your mind by God’s word and to believe God for the best.
I will conclude this topic tomorrow. Good morning!
How should a person love their fiancee or spouse? That is what I will be looking at this morning. Love is an action word and if there are no actions to show you love her, you don’t love her in the real sense. Just like respect is a big deal for the guys and it is God’s order that their fiancee and wife respect them out of honor to God and not necessarily because he deserves it.
The same way, God expects and requires that every man loves his own fiancee.
One of the marks of maturity is when a man has the ability to overlook the weakness of his fiancee and despite all, still love her unconditionally.
Eph 5:25 (MSG)
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church–a love marked by giving, not getting.
As husbands-to-be, you are to model Christ. Your leadership role is that of a servant leader. Your headship over her is not an authoritarian rule but one marked with sacrificial love.
One that is patient and kind. One that is meant to nurture and bring out the best in her.
Loving your fiancee begins from the time of your courtship and not when you are married. You start walking by the principle of genuine, God kind of love. This love definitely does not include sleeping with her or dishonoring her body. Any guy who sleeps with a lady before marrying her has shown the highest level of dishonor for the lady. That definitely is not love.
I do not condemn any body because most of these things were done in ignorance. But repentance is needed especially now that you know. Not engaging in pre-maritals is the honor you give to God that the marriage institution is ordained by God.
You are to love her like your own body because she actually is. You begin to learn to treat your fiancee as you would treat yourself. Treat her with dignity, don’t shout on her. Don’t shut her up. Don’t ignore her or her opinions. Don’t compare her to other ladies, don’t put attention on her weak areas.
Learn to celebrate her, appreciate her and hold her in high esteem.
Loving her is every man’s God given assignment. Don’t fail in this assignment.
Alright, so let’s dive into this whole respect thing, especially when it comes to your guy and not stepping on God’s toes in the process.
You know how crucial respect is, right? It’s like the glue holding relationships together, making sure everything runs smoothly. But here’s the deal – ladies, we’re good at giving props, showing love, and giving credit where it’s due. But, oh boy, when the guys mess up, it’s like a respect withdrawal party.
Get it. Respect isn’t something you just throw around randomly. It’s earned and deserved. You respect your dad, your boss, your pastor – they’ve got their roles, and you acknowledge that.
Now, relationships, that’s a whole different ball game. Your boo isn’t just a boss or a dad; he’s someone you know inside out – the good, the bad, and the ugly. And let’s be real, he’s probably messed up once or twice, and it stings.
But here’s the kicker – don’t let that mess with your view of him. Respect is like following God’s playbook. When you respect your guy, you’re not just playing by relationship rules; you’re respecting the bigger picture, the whole God-and-marriage thing.
So, how do you do it? How do you respect him without making God frown?
Mind Matters: Respect starts in your head. Accept that your man is the head – it’s not a mistake; it’s by God’s design. Your job? Support that. Remind yourself it’s your duty, and do it with joy.
Learn the Ropes: Some of us didn’t grow up seeing respect in action. You can learn it. Humble yourself, pick up the skill, and show some respect – for God’s sake.
For some ladies, it may not come naturally to them to respect maybe because of their choleric temperament or background. Whichever way, you have to humble yourself and learn to respect him out of respect for God.
Define and Refine: Respect isn’t just a word; it’s an action. Ask yourself, how can I admire this guy more? When you slip up, correct it. Ask, “Is this respect or disrespect?” Treat disrespect like a no-go zone, because, hey, you don’t want to disappoint God, right?
Remember Joseph and his stand against temptation? Well, your ultimate motivation here is not disrespecting God.
Keep that in mind, and respecting your man will be a breeze.
We started on this yesterday! We will continue this morning!
3. Out of all my girlfriends, you are the best
This is often a logical way to manipulate the emotions of the lady. As a lady, I don’t know what you are doing with someone who tells you out-rightly that you are not the only one he is seeing.
Are you encouraging adultery after marriage and giving him the go-ahead? Men don’t change after marriage! When a man has the guts to tell you that he has several ladies as lovers including you, then as a lady you should have the guts to walk away from such affliction!
4. We don’t have to tell anybody about this relationship
When a guy begins to make this statement, your antenna should go up! Something is defective right there. There are no commitments when he hides the relationship from friends and family.
There may be occasions when the parents are not interested in marriage and it is wise to keep quiet for some time, but at least, he should be willing to notify his pastor. What if he doesn’t have a pastor? The answer to that is another question. What are you doing with such a person?
5. I am just managing you and you should thank your stars
When a guy doesn’t love you, he will verbalize it one day, one way or the other. If you are sensitive, you can pick it up from his words. When a guy says he is just managing you, that sounds like wickedness to me.
Probably the lady in question has a self-esteem issue, but as a lady, you don’t have any business with anybody who doesn’t value you or appreciate you as a person. After marriage, you don’t want to be treated as a doormat, you want to be valued as a help.
Problems don’t just erupt like a volcano in relationships and marriage. They have always been there. Sometimes, we close our eyes to all the warning signs and red lights because we are in love. It is however wise to be alert and be open to take heed of all these warning signs.
God is not a wicked God. He will attempt to talk to you through His Holy Spirit and try to warn you about some of these things. It is always good to pay attention and try to listen to what God is trying to say! Here are some statements that are symptomatic of deeper issues!
1. There is nothing wrong with sex. Everybody does it
One statement that reflects deeper issues is when a partner tries to justify premarital sex by saying “there’s nothing wrong with it, everybody does it.
When a guy begins to pressurize you to compromise using logic and persuasion tactics, it shows he doesn’t love you. All he wants is your body and once he gets that, anything can happen. As the lady, you are responsible for preserving your virtue by insisting on waiting till after marriage.
A guy who truly loves you will be willing to wait as against satisfying his rush of adrenalin at your disadvantage. God’s word is so clear on premarital sex and any guy that loves you and fears God should be looking for ways to obey God, not the other way.
2. I may not call you or send SMS often. You have to understand.
Another sign to consider is when a partner is distant and fails to communicate regularly.
When a guy loves you genuinely, he wants to be in touch. He wants to call, send SMS, or chat. He just wants to stay in touch one way or the other. I know there are times he can get so busy depending on the intensity of his work or the level of attention needed, but I also believe he should be able to talk to his loved one daily, even if it is for five minutes.
A brief conversation or text message can demonstrate thoughtfulness and caring, and a partner who is genuinely in love will prioritize staying connected regardless of external factors
The only tenable reason is when he is working where there are no networks, which could be rare. Even at that, a guy who is in love will climb mountains; go to the top of buildings, and hold his phone high in the sky searching for network!
Overall, these signals indicate potential relationship issues that should not be dismissed. Recognizing and addressing them early on can help maintain a healthy and loving connection. It’s essential to value and respect oneself, and to seek a partner who shares the same values and is willing to invest in a mutually fulfilling and loving relationship.
You know, when I read Ephesians 4:32, it got me thinking about something really important for couples.
Eph 4:32 (KJV) And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
The verse suggests three key things: being kind to one another, having a tender heart, and forgiving each other. I think these are super crucial in marriage and can help iron out a lot of issues, you know?
Imagine having a kind and gentle partner – it’s like having a shield against unnecessary arguments. And being tender-hearted? It’s all about treating each other with the same love and care a mom gives her newborn. What if we could be that tender in our relationships? I bet there would be less yelling and definitely no hurtful words thrown around.
Then, there’s the part about forgiving one another. This one’s powerful. Holding onto bitterness can be toxic, so why not just forgive quickly and completely? I like how The Message translation puts it: “Be gentle with one another, sensitive, and forgive as quickly and thoroughly as God forgave you.”
Taking on this attitude of compassion, understanding, and love can change the game. It can put a stop to shouting matches, violent tendencies, and all the negative stuff. I hope that this understanding and love will seep into your marriage and overcome any challenges that come your way.
I wish you all the best and pray that every obstacle in your marriage gets crushed. Here’s to a blessed and loving marriage journey!
Let’s dive into the respect pool, especially regarding our men. Like, seriously, why is respect such a big deal for them?
It’s not about whether your guy is a superhero or not. It’s more about God’s grand plan – respect and honor are the secret sauce to keeping the relationship vibe alive.
Living life by God’s rules is like sticking to a recipe. No arguing, no adding your secret spices – just follow the script. And guess what? Your opinion doesn’t get a starring role. It’s all about playing by God’s rules.
Now, for all you single ladies out there, respect isn’t just a married folks’ thing. It starts way back in courtship. If you’re dissing your dude-to-be now, turning into a respect queen will be difficult after tying the knot.
And hey, respect and submission are not forced on anyone. The Bible’s like, “Respect and submit to your hubby.” Simple, right? So if a guy is not who you can respect, honor, and admire to the point of submitting to him, DON’T marry him.
Marriage is like a legal pact, and breaking it is a big no-no. So, if you’ve decided to say “I do,” it’s like signing a respect contract.
All attention is placed on the head because that is where the seat of decision, thinking, sight, speech, smell, hearing, and eating is. All vital action takes place in and on the head. Beauty and radiance, intellect, and reasoning are all found on the head.
Yes, the body is very important too. But by design, the head gets the full attention and responsibility rises and falls on the head. The lady or wife is equally important.
Let’s say she is the heart. We know there is no life apart from the heart. The head honors the heart because of its life-giving ability. But the heart is secured and protected because of its makeup and vulnerability.
That is God’s design. And it makes a whole lot of sense, both logical and spiritual sense.
Respect is:
a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
To help you learn respect go through the definition and synonyms of respect and note where you are lacking.
Synonyms: esteem, admire, think highly of, have a high opinion of, hold in high regard, hold in (high) esteem, think much of, approve of, appreciate, cherish, value, set (great) store by, prize, treasure, look up to, pay homage to, venerate, revere, reverence, adulate, worship, idolize, put on a pedestal, lionize, hero-worship, honor, applaud, praise, favor
Eph 5:22 -24 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their husbands in everything.
In the realm of matrimony, there exist certain indispensable elements that serve as the lifeblood of every successful union. Let’s dive into the nitty-gritty of what makes a marriage thrive
1. Keep the Chatter Flowing
Picture this: a friend once asked, “What are the three crucial things in marriage?” The reply echoed, “Communication, communication, communication!” Couldn’t agree more, right?
When the art of communication wanes, it’s like opening the door to a host of unwelcome guests—assumptions, suspicions, lies, and deceit. A marriage truly blossoms when both partners can freely articulate their thoughts and feelings. So, let’s make a pact to hear each other out!
Remember, when a man speaks, it’s often for a logical explanation. On the flip side, when a woman shares, it’s not merely an explanation; it’s an emotional release. Silencing her voice stores up tensions, akin to the silent magma beneath the earth’s surface—seemingly calm, but a volcanic eruption could be lurking.
2. Revitalize the Romance
In the marathon of marriage, pit stops are crucial. Take breaks from the daily grind and rediscover the magic that brought you together. Recall those pre-wedding sparks? Reignite them! Besides the spiritual recharge from prayer and Bible reading, spice up your life with moments of relaxation.
3. Seek Counsel
No marriage is an island; it thrives with the wisdom of mentors. Couples married for decades possess a treasure trove of insights. Seeking counsel isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a beacon of wisdom. Let’s drop the facade of self-sufficiency and embrace the humble act of seeking guidance.
4. The Power of Transparency
Sincerity and openness are the glue that holds marriages together. Imagine marriage as an open book club; discuss everything, leaving no room for secrecy. Hiding the plot twists only breeds mistrust. Adultery finds no foothold where transparency and honesty prevail.
As couples, let’s take note of these pillars—communication, rekindled romance, wise counsel, and transparent dialogue. They are the threads that weave a resilient and enduring marital fabric. May our unions be a testament to the beauty of connection and understanding!
