In Ephesians 5:22-33, the Apostle Paul provides profound guidance on marriage that reflects Christ’s relationship with the Church. For husbands, the call is clear: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).
This command challenges men to lead not through authority or control but through sacrificial love—a love so deep it mirrors Jesus’ ultimate sacrifice on the cross. Loving your wife means putting her needs above your own, serving her with humility, and nurturing an environment where she can flourish spiritually, emotionally, and physically.
For wives, Paul writes, “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22). Submission here does not imply inferiority or blind obedience; rather, it reflects trust in God’s design for order within the home.
Just as the Church submits to Christ’s leadership, a wife’s submission involves respecting and supporting her husband’s role while trusting God to guide their shared journey.
It’s important to note this mutual submission is rooted in love—both partners are called to honor one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21).
These roles might seem challenging, even counter-cultural, yet they point us back to the Gospel. Husbands are reminded that true leadership looks like laying down your life—not demanding respect but earning it by loving selflessly.
Wives are encouraged to embrace submission not out of fear but from faith, trusting God’s wisdom in His design for unity and harmony.
Ultimately, these instructions aren’t about power dynamics but about reflecting God’s love story.
When husbands love sacrificially and wives submit respectfully, they create a picture of Christ’s covenantal love for His bride, the Church. As Colossians 3:14 reminds us, “And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
Let us pray for marriages to reflect this divine model—that homes may be places of grace, joy, and testimony to God’s unchanging love.
Whether you’re a husband striving to love well or a wife seeking to submit faithfully, remember that God equips you to fulfill His purpose when you walk in obedience to Him.
I have come to realize that choosing a spouse is not as spookyas some people make it to feel. If you can just follow God all through, the journey will be less complicated.
Also, I have realized that more often than not, your spouse is very much around you. Godis not just about to create your spouse. You just need to be discerning to know where he or she is.
Ex 32:1(KJV) And when the people saw that Moses delayed to come down out of the mount, the people gathered themselves together unto Aaron, and said unto him, Up, make us gods, which shall go before us; for as for this Moses, the man that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we wot not what is become of him.
After Moses had gone for a long while, the children of Israel became impatient and demanded a god. Where would they get the raw materials to fabricate a god? Remember, they were in the wilderness.
See what Aaron said.
Ex 32:2-4 (KJV) And Aaron said unto them, Break off the golden earrings, which are in the ears of your wives, of your sons, and of your daughters, and bring them unto me. 3 And all the people brake off the golden earrings which were in their ears, and brought them unto Aaron. 4 And he received them at their hand, and fashioned it with a graving tool, after he had made it a molten calf: and they said, These be thy gods, O Israel, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt.
Aaron made the golden calf with the earrings he found around him.
Who would have thought something good could come out of those earrings?
I mean, they wear these earrings every day. They see it every day. They use it every day. It was looking too common in their eyes, so they couldn’t see the golden calf in it.
And that is how this marriage thing is. You are probably seeing your spouse every day. You are probably interacting with your spouse every other day. The issue is that you may not know. It took Aaron, the priest, to see that something good could come out of the earrings. Likewise, it will take a priest to see if something worthwhile will come out of that lady or gentleman lurking around you.
However, as believers, we don’t need any Aaron. You are the Priest and Prophet over your life.
You are the one who will look beyond the physical and go for what you want.
You are the one who will cry to God to open your eyes that you may see what others are not seeing in that person.
Everyone saw a woman with five husbands, but Jesus saw an evangelist.
Everyone saw gold earrings, but Aaron saw a golden calf.
Everyone saw something whitish, but Moses saw food for the Israelites.
Dear people, let’s talk about something real: Song of Solomon 8:4 says, “Don’t wake up love before its time.” Basically? Love isn’t meant to be rushed, forced, or treated lightly. It’s sacred—and so are you.
Our world often tells us to “go for it” when it comes to relationships, but God’s Word offers a better way: chastity.
This isn’t about rules or shame. It’s about protecting your heart (and someone else’s) like a treasure. Think of it like this: if love is a beautiful flower, chastity is the fence that keeps it safe from being trampled.
Choosing purity isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it. Every time you say “no” to pressure or impulsive decisions, you’re saying “yes” to God’s best plan. It’s like training your heart to trust Him, even when feelings get messy.
And guess what? God doesn’t leave you hanging. He gives you people to lean on, Scripture to guide you, and His Holy Spirit to remind you that you’re never alone.
Here’s the truth: your body and heart matter. They’re not meant for casual use but for a love that’s deep, committed, and timed by God. So set boundaries.
Pray for courage. Surround yourself with friends who lift you up. And when you mess up? Remember, grace is bigger than any mistake.
God, help me slow down and trust Your timing. Give me the strength to honor You with my choices, and remind me that true love is always worth waiting for. Amen.
Purity isn’t about being “perfect”—it’s about being purposeful. Protect your heart because God’s plans for you (and your future relationships) are always good.
This is one of the most important lessons anyone can learn in life, relationships, and marriage.
Deuteronomy 30:19 [KJV] I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:
Our text today tells us we can choose life. In order to live and enjoy life, we have to choose our lives. We must exercise our power of choice.
For many years, I was led by my feelings and emotions. I must admit I was a very slow learner. Thank God He never gave up on me. I allowed my feelings to direct my moods, feelings, thoughts, actions, and inactions.
This got me into a lot of trouble—troubles I could have avoided. If someone hurt me, my day was literally ruined. I wasted years on this roller coaster of emotions. It was as though I was stuck.
I was where the devil wanted me. A place where my emotions were in control. I didn’t know how to allow my spirit and the word of God to control my life. If I woke up feeling bad or down, my whole day was going to be bad. How many opportunities have we allowed to slip by as a result of not managing our emotions?
But thank God, our God is a restorer. He will restore the year that the caterpillar has eaten and destroyed. We can be in control and in charge of our emotions and say No to the voice of our feelings.
Let the Word of God dwell in you richly. Choose to live above your feelings. When you choose to obey God rather than your feelings, your feelings will catch up with your decisions and eventually line up. As you do this, you will begin to experience the quality of life God has for you.
As women, the fact that we are emotional beings doesn’t mean we should be controlled by our emotions. People can hurt you with their words and actions, but move past it. Forgive, forget, and love on. You get better off for doing this.
Am I saying you will not be hurt? On the contrary, move past it with the help of the Holy Spirit and be in control. Tell yourself you are in charge here.
Experience a richer life by not living by the dictates of your flesh and feelings.
We usually love “love” when it’s easy—when there’s laughter and romance, and everything feels right. And we can be tempted to think that’s all love is about. But what if I tell you that love can be inconvenient? What if I tell you love also demands patience, sacrifice, or even choosing to stay when walking away seems easier?
As singles, it’s easy to chase relationships that feel good in the now, even when you know the person is wrong for you. It’s easy to run at the slightest pressure. It’s easy to define love by “butterflies in the tummy.” But real love isn’t always convenient. It requires waiting on God’s timing, it requires walking away from the wrong person even when it hurts, and it requires choosing to love with wisdom instead of emotions. It requires staying strong even in valley moments. If someone only “loves” you when it’s easy—when you agree, when you look your best, or when you are crushing milestones—that’s not real love. Run, my dear, run for your life.
As married couples, you have to CHOOSE to love even through difficult seasons—when viewpoints differ, when tempers rise, when stress comes, when flaws are exposed. You must choose to love, forgive, communicate, and to fold your sleeves and get to work as you labour together for a better tomorrow. This is what real love is—real love can be tough. Tough love it is. The popular John 3:16 says:
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”
God loved us, and He died for us! Tough love, I say—a love that gives, even when it’s costly.
Is your love just in the feel-good times? Or are you willing to love, even when it’s not convenient?
P.S.: Dear singles, this is not about you staying even when the red flags are glaring! Please don’t get it twisted. Shalom.
Marriage, they say, is the only institution where you receive a certificate even before you start. It is a lifelong journey, and the person you choose to walk with determines where and how you end up. Your spouse has a significant impact on your future, destiny, and purpose in life.
The question of whom to marry is a crucial one that requires sincere answers. Many people seem good, kind, and caring, but that does not necessarily mean they are God’s best for you as a life partner.
When I say “marry from your tribe,” I’m not referring to ethnicity, nationality, or cultural background. I’m talking about the tribe of Christ, which is the body of believers.
The Bible clearly states
[Amos 3:3] “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”
A partner who does not share your faith and convictions will eventually create division, which will make walking in unity difficult.
Your tribe is not just someone who goes to church but a true believer in Christ. Someone who shares the same understanding of salvation, grace, and the Lordship of Jesus.
“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14)
Being in the same church does not mean you share the same faith. Someone can be religious without being saved. True compatibility in Christ goes beyond attending services together. It means having the same foundation in faith.
If you believe in living a life of holiness, prayer, and service to God, marrying someone who doesn’t share those values will only bring conflict.
For example:
If you are convicted about modesty, don’t marry someone who believes otherwise, hoping they will change. Or if you belong to the no ornaments tribe, don’t marry someone who loves jewelry, expecting them to abandon it after marriage.
Yes, change is possible through God, but some changes require deep personal conviction. Marriage is meant to be enjoyed, not endured.
“Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.” (Psalm 127:1)
Steps to Marry from God’s Tribe
1. Be a Part of the Tribe First
Before looking for a godly spouse, ensure that you are rooted in Christ. You cannot find the right person if you are not the right person.
“Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” Matthew 6:33
2. Pray for Divine Guidance
Marriage is not just about emotions; it’s a spiritual covenant. Seek God’s direction before making a choice.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
3. Observe Their Fruit, Not Just Their Words
Jesus said, By their fruits, you will know them. Matthew 7:16
A godly spouse should exhibit the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Galatians 5:22-23.
4. Check for Doctrinal Agreement
Do you both believe in salvation by grace? Do you both understand the role of faith, prayer, and obedience to God? Differences in core beliefs can create future conflicts.
5. Seek Godly Counsel
Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety. Proverbs 11:14
Involve spiritual mentors, pastors, or mature believers in your decision-making process.
Marriage is a journey that should bring joy, not sorrow. You can either enjoy marriage or manage marriage. Let your standard go beyond the physical. Choose wisely and within the tribe of God.
These tips are applicable not only in the context of relationships and marriage but also in business, careers, and everyday life.
1. Pray First, Not Last
Many people decide who they want and then ask God for God’s blessings. They get emotionally attached first, then pray later, hoping for a divine confirmation that matches their feelings.
When your heart is deeply invested, it’s hard to hear God clearly. Instead of seeking God’s will, you start convincing yourself that what you want is what He wants. At that point, it’s easy to mistake His permissive will (what He allows because of your insistence) for His perfect will (what He truly desires for you).
That’s why discernment begins before emotions get involved. Instead of saying, “God, I really like this person; please make it work,” the prayer should be, “Lord, is this your best for me? Show me what I can’t see.”
God is not silent; He will give you an answer, but God won’t force His will on you. If you truly want His best, seek Him first, not after your heart is already entangled. A relationship led by emotions alone may feel right at the moment, but only God’s perfect will brings lasting peace and purpose.
2. Don’t Ignore Red Flags
Love isn’t meant to blind you. If you notice things like dishonesty, emotional instability, lack of accountability, or controlling behavior, don’t overlook them. What seems small now will only grow bigger in marriage. God’s best will never require you to ignore important issues just to “make it work.”
“The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it.” (Proverbs 22:3)
3. Listen to Wise Counsel
Sometimes, the people around us can see things we’re too emotionally invested to notice. If your trusted, godly friends, mentors, or family members have serious concerns about your relationship, don’t dismiss them. God often uses wise counsel to confirm His direction.
“Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” (Proverbs 11:14)
4. Give It Time
If something is truly from God, time will reveal it. You don’t have to force, chase, or manipulate anything. Patience allows you to observe a person’s true character and consistency before making a lifelong commitment. If it’s right, time will only make it clearer.
“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.” (Psalm 37:7)
One of the hardest things is waiting when you feel ready for love. But remember, God’s best is worth the wait. Instead of settling for what’s available, trust that He knows what you need and when you need it. A rushed decision may bring short-term happiness, but God’s best brings long-term fulfillment.
When it comes to choosing the right partner, I hear people say a lot. I want a God fearing man. He or she must be a Christian [I wonder if you want to consider an unbeliever before]. I want someone who can demonstrate the gifts of the spirit, and so on.
While you may be entitled to your choice, there is an important factor I would love you to consider in your prospective fiance or fiancee.
Marriage is a whole lot. It would be wise for you, if you can, to reduce the issues you would face in marriage.
When the bible says you should not be yoked with unbelievers, it is to your advantage. Apostle Paul says marriage comes with additional stress in an already stressful life. How do you want to add that to a partner who doesn’t share your spiritual values?
Back to my discourse, the very first thing I feel you should consider before saying yes is integrity. Does this person have integrity? Is he or she a person of his/her words? Do they mean yes when they say yes?
When the disciples were to choose the seven deacons, the first criteria was honesty.
Acts 6:3 [KJV] Wherefore, brethren, look ye out among you seven men of honest report, full of the Holy Ghost and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business.
They chose integrity before they mentioned being full of the spirit.
Acts 6:3 [AMP] Therefore, brothers, choose from among you seven men with good reputations [men of godly character and moral integrity], full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we may put in charge of this task.
What does that tell you?
Don’t be swayed by the gifts of the spirit you see manifesting in that person’s life. Check for integrity. Check for honesty. You can’t afford to get married to someone who doesn’t value truthfulness.
Even God honors His words above His name. That is integrity!
Ps 138:2 [NKJV] I will worship toward Your holy temple, And praise Your name For Your lovingkindness and Your truth; For You have magnified Your word above all Your name.
Marriage is one of life’s most significant commitments, and it requires careful preparation, self-awareness, and a strong foundation. Before jumping into this lifelong partnership, it’s essential to assess whether you’re truly ready emotionally, spiritually, and practically. Below is a quiz designed to help you reflect on your readiness for marriage. Answer honestly, and use the results as a guide for further growth.
1. Do You Have a Deep Relationship with God?
Marriage should be grounded in faith, especially for Christians. A strong relationship with God equips you to navigate challenges, make wise decisions, and prioritize love over selfish desires. If you feel distant from God or unsure about His role in your life, consider investing more time in prayer, Bible study, and spiritual growth before committing to marriage.
2. Can You Communicate Effectively?
Healthy communication is the cornerstone of any successful marriage. Are you able to express your thoughts, feelings, and needs clearly? Can you listen actively without becoming defensive? Misunderstandings and unresolved conflicts can strain relationships, so mastering communication skills is crucial before tying the knot.
3. Are You Emotionally Mature?
Emotional maturity means understanding and managing your emotions while showing empathy toward others. Do you handle stress well? Can you take responsibility for your actions and apologize when necessary? Emotional immaturity can lead to unhealthy patterns in marriage, such as blaming, controlling behavior, or avoiding tough conversations.
4. Do You Know Yourself Well?
Self-awareness is vital for building a healthy marriage. Are you clear about your values, goals, strengths, and weaknesses? Do you understand what you bring to the table—and where you might need improvement? Knowing yourself helps ensure that you enter marriage as a whole person, not someone seeking completeness through another.
5. Are You Financially Responsible?
Money is one of the leading causes of conflict in marriages. Do you have a basic understanding of budgeting, saving, and financial planning? Are you free from excessive debt or reckless spending habits? While no one expects perfection, being financially responsible demonstrates maturity and readiness to manage household responsibilities together.
6. Have You Resolved Past Hurts?
Unresolved issues from past relationships or family dynamics can resurface in marriage if left unaddressed. Have you worked through any lingering pain, trauma, or bitterness? Healing these areas ensures that you don’t carry unnecessary baggage into your new life together.
7. Do You Share Core Values with Your Partner?
While differences can enrich a relationship, core values like faith, family, career, and lifestyle priorities must align for long-term harmony. Do you and your partner share similar beliefs about raising children, finances, and commitment to God? Compatibility in these areas lays a solid foundation for lasting love.
In conclusion, if you answered “yes” to most of these questions, congratulations—you’re likely ready for marriage! However, if some areas need improvement, take the time to grow and prepare. Remember, entering marriage prematurely can lead to unnecessary struggles. Trust God’s timing, and invest in yourself and your relationship. After all, a successful marriage isn’t just about finding the right person—it’s also about being the right person.
How do you know who is truly right for you? With so many voices from family, friends, culture, and even your own emotions, it can be hard to tell the difference between a good option and God’s best. The truth is, not every good person is God’s person for you.
Someone can check all the boxes on paper, but they still may not be the right fit for your purpose. That’s why discernment is so important. It’s not just about what you want, it’s about seeking God’s wisdom and letting Him guide your heart.
What a Relationship from God looks like:
1. It Aligns with God’s Word
God will never bring someone into your life who pulls you away from Him. If a relationship is leading you to compromise your faith, walk in disobedience, or put someone else before God, then it’s not His best. A godly relationship should strengthen your faith, not weaken it.
“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.” (2 Corinthians 6:14)
2. It Brings Peace, Not Confusion
You may not have all the answers when something is from God, but you will have peace. This doesn’t mean the relationship will be perfect, but it won’t leave you in constant anxiety or emotional chaos.
“For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.” (1 Corinthians 14:33)
3. It’s Rooted in Purpose, Not Just Feelings
Being attracted to your partner is great, but that isn’t enough to sustain a godly relationship. God’s best for you is someone who aligns with your purpose and encourages your growth. A person can be kind, loving, and even a Christian, but if they don’t align with what God has called you to do, they may not be the one.
“Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” (Amos 3:3)
I believe the death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ provides a level ground of play for everyone who has been redeemed. Jesus had already paid the ultimate price for us.
There are some things that should not be. They are aberrations. Both things we engage in and the things we permit in our lives, relationships, and marriages.
Let me zero in on today’s topic on the negative use of our tongues.
Our tongues are very powerful. We are created in God’s image, and we know that God is a speaking God.
We change the course of our lives and destiny by the proper use of our tongues
Our text this morning admonishes us to use our tongues positively.
If you are in a relationship and your fiance or fiancee has a bad mouth and tongue, that’s a red flag.
Don’t take this lightly, trivialize, overlook, or dismiss them, as they will change after we are married.
Putting a ring on someone’s finger does not change anybody. Put your feet down and let him/her be schooled about the proper use of the tongue.
James 3:9-10 [TPT ]We use our tongue to praise God our Father and then turn around and curse a person who was made in his very image! Out of the same mouth we pour out words of praise one minute and curses the next. My brothers and sisters, this should never be!
To the married, Jesus was speaking through James, that the negative use of the tongue ‘should not be’
It is not permissable. In other words, ‘don’t allow it’
As Christians, there are things we should not permit. We should say no to mean words, demeaning words, hurtful words, and abusive words spoken to us, our children, about our marriage, career, finances, health, etc
We have the authority to refuse it. When we rebuke that spirit, it has no choice but to flee from our marriage. We need to take responsibility; Jesus won’t take that responsibility on our behalf.
Remember, this should never be in your relationship and marriage.
Happy New Month! As we enter March, God has given us a powerful word for this season: Total Transformation. As Psalm 23 says, “He restores my soul” (Psalm 23:3). This verse isn’t just a comforting whisper but a clear declaration of God’s restorative power in every area of our lives. In this month, let’s allow Him to guide us to still waters and restore what feels broken or weary within us.
March often symbolizes change—new beginnings, fresh starts, and the awakening of life after winter’s dormancy. Just as nature begins to bloom, so too can our spirits flourish under God’s loving care. He invites each one of us to surrender fully to His plan, trusting that He will transform even the most challenging seasons into opportunities for growth and renewal.
Singles, this month offers an invitation to focus on personal restoration. Perhaps you’ve experienced heartbreak, disappointment, or loneliness. Let me remind you that your worth is not defined by your relationship status but by God’s unconditional love for you. When He restores your soul, He brings healing to wounds you didn’t know were still open.
Take time this month to reconnect with yourself and with God. Ask Him to renew your mind, strengthen your faith, and prepare your heart for all He has planned. Remember, restoration isn’t about waiting for someone else to complete you—it’s about allowing God to make you whole first.
Couples, if you’re in a relationship or married, this month provides a perfect opportunity to recommit yourselves to each other and to God. Relationships naturally go through highs and lows, and sometimes, they need intentional restoration.
Allow Psalm 23:3 to be your guide as you seek ways to nurture your bond. Spend quality time together, pray side by side, and communicate openly about areas where you feel disconnected. The Lord wants to restore joy, peace, and harmony to your partnership. Lean on Him during moments of tension or uncertainty, knowing that He is faithful to bring beauty out of ashes.
Whether you’re single or coupled, remember that His promise to restore your soul applies to everyone. Walk boldly into this month, trusting that God is doing something extraordinary in your life!
When people think about love, they often picture grand gestures—expensive gifts, romantic dates, or the recent ongoing proposal craze. Ehm, all these are good and to be injected into the relationship or marriage. But listen, at the end of the day, true love isn’t proven in those big, glamorous moments but in the ordinary, everyday ones.
For singles, it’s easy to get carried away by appearances and by those exciting moments in a relationship. But let me let you know that even the devil can be a tall, dark, and handsome man who knows how to spoil you with fun. So, don’t allow your emotions to make the decision for you—let your brain function well, too. Beyond the romantic dates and sweet words that juggle your emotions, ask yourself: Can this person love and respect me in the ordinary, everyday issues? Can they be patient when you’re stressed? Can they handle disagreements with maturity? Do they regard your opinions? Do they have empathy, not just towards you but also towards others?
Love that you will enjoy in marriage isn’t built on butterflies but on consistent character. It’s in the small, everyday matters. Romantic date nights won’t happen every day in marriage, right? But you will live and relate with each other every single day. Open your brains, my friend.
For married couples, well, you’re already in. So, take this and implement it in your marriage. Love isn’t just about anniversaries and pulling off surprises; it’s about the little, simple everyday choices and acts—choosing patience over anger, choosing to listen instead of dismissing, choosing kindness when tired, washing the dishes without being asked, sending a thoughtful message in the middle of the day, offering a hug after an argument, instead of banging the door and storming out of the house. These small moments may seem insignificant, but they are the building real VIPs—the real blocks of a strong marriage.
“Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” (1 John 3:18).
Love is a daily decision to love in action—in the daily, little things of life, not just in the grand gestures.
Please, how do I end this now? Ehm, okay: Shalom, everyone! 😁
One of the tools the devil uses against the body of Christ is to capitalize on the believer’s ignorance but the question is; Are believers truly ignorant?
The word of God says in Hosea 4:6 “My people are destroyed from lack of knowledge…” Why should we be destroyed, because we lack knowledge when it can be sought for?
In every season of the believer’s life, the right knowledge is needed. It’s about time we understand the authority we have and use it to our advantage.
Jesus Christ said, “Behold, I give unto you power” That power given is meant for use and not to be kept.
Why should you wake up from a dream frightened, when there’s an authority you have in Christ as a believer?
Why is our attitude to positive dreams so calm, but when it’s a negative dream, you can wake up suddenly and pray for hours, just to terminate it, why can’t we pray those positive ones into reality also?
The first authority we have is our identity in Christ. The life of Christ has been given to us to become the sons of God, who have been transformed into the kingdom of His marvelous life. Jesus Christ said on the cross, “It is finished.”
The word of the enemy over our life is finished, the grip of sin over our life is finished, the power of sickness over our life has come to an end, whatsoever that is not of God in our life came to an end when He said, it is finished.
These are the things the devil doesn’t want you to know. The day you know the truth, there’s a freedom that comes with it, and then the application of this truth is peace, dominion, and breakthrough.
Another authority we have is in His word. Hebrews 4:12 says: “The word of God is quick and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword…” It’s deeper than we can ever imagine, the Bible says, the words I speak, are Spirit and Life. This word will only be life for us when we know the life-giver Himself.
The efficacy of the word is activated by God. The word is beyond mere words, you must read it till it becomes the life that awakens your spirit man.
These words established the world, and that’s the authority we are talking about, even the dry bones in the valley received life by the word.
Irrespective of the bad reports that look like the end, the word of God can give life back to it.
Believers, it’s time for us to arise and take our stand. Enough of giving the devil an upper hand over our lives, it’s time to take charge and authority.
Begin to speak those same words into your life now believing it’s done.
The state of the heart is very important because that’s what God will see. When God looks down from heaven, he looks straight into your heart.
Unlike man, God doesn’t see the pulchritude or outward appearance, he looks inward.
Only God can see how desperately wicked a man’s heart is.
Only God knows the lady winking at you this moment but is plotting your downfall.
Only God sees beyond the nose.
Only God that sees the heart that loves you now and will love you some twenty-three years from now.
1 Sam 16:7 But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.
When God looks into your heart, what does he see? Will he see pride, arrogance, bitterness, rebellion, and all sorts?
Will he see perversion, scheming, devilish plots and what have you?
If God gives you the go-ahead to do what you have in mind, what will it be?
2 Sam 7:1-3 KJV And it came to pass, when the king sat in his house, and the LORD had given him rest round about from all his enemies; 2 That the king said unto Nathan the prophet, See now, I dwell in an house of cedar, but the ark of God dwelleth within curtains. 3 And Nathan said to the king, Go, do all that is in thine heart; for the LORD is with thee.
See another person;
John 13:27, 30 (TPT) And when Judas ate the piece of bread, Satan entered him. Then Jesus looked at Judas and said, “What you are planning to do, go do it now. 30 So Judas left quickly and went out into the dark night to betray Jesus.
If God gives you the go-ahead to start that relationship, will it be a disaster? Think about it.
God did not have respect for Cain’s offering because he saw his heart. God knew he had the capacity to give more, but he decided to withhold it….and God said it would have been better for you not to have given at all.
So God is saying if all you want to be doing is taking selfies at cinema halls, I think you should still remain single… hehe…
If all you want to be doing has no kingdom relevance, God will just be shaking his head from heaven.
Ps 24:3-4 KJV Who shall ascend into the hill of the LORD? or who shall stand in his holy place? 4 He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.
Can you see how God lays premium on the heart?
Watch what enters your heart this season. Be deliberate and intentional. Guard your heart with all diligence. Don’t train your heart to accommodate heartache…it can make the heart sick. Your heart is sacred. Don’t make it a dumping ground.
True love is a concept that has been romanticized in movies, songs, and literature, but its essence can only be fully understood through the lens of Scripture. In a world where relationships often prioritize self-interest and fleeting emotions, God’s Word provides a timeless blueprint for what true love looks like.
At the heart of biblical love lies 1 Corinthians 13 , often referred to as the “Love Chapter.” Here, Paul describes love as patient, kind, humble, and enduring. It does not envy or boast, nor does it demand its own way. This passage challenges us to move beyond surface-level attractions and focus on character-driven affection.
True love, according to Scripture, is rooted in sacrificial commitment rather than emotional highs.
Another key example of true love is found in Jesus Christ Himself. John 15:13 says, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
Through His death on the cross, Jesus demonstrated ultimate love by giving up His life for humanity. For Christians, emulating Christ’s selfless nature should be the foundation of every relationship—whether romantic, familial, or platonic.
In Ephesians 5:25, husbands are instructed to love their wives “as Christ loved the church.” This verse emphasizes the importance of serving and caring for others before oneself. Similarly, wives are encouraged to respect their husbands, fostering mutual admiration and partnership. Together, these principles create a balanced, God-centered union built on trust and devotion.
For singles, true love begins with loving God first (Matthew 22:37-38). When we prioritize our relationship with Him, we develop the capacity to love others unconditionally. Instead of seeking perfection in a partner, we learn to embrace imperfection while extending grace—a hallmark of divine love.
Ultimately, true love reflects God’s character. It is steadfast, forgiving, and eternal. By grounding ourselves in Scripture, we can cultivate healthier, more meaningful relationships that honor both God and those around us.
We spend a lot of time praying for the “right person” to come our way, but how often do we ask God to make us the right person ourselves? We have long lists of qualities we want in a life partner, but are we becoming someone who embodies those same qualities?
Finding the right person is only one part of a godly relationship; the other is becoming the kind of person who can sustain it. Instead of worrying about when you’ll meet your future spouse, see this season of singleness as an opportunity for God to shape you into the best version of yourself, spiritually, emotionally, and in every area of life.
How to become the right person:
1. Build a Strong Relationship with God
Before you pursue a relationship, your first priority should be deepening your relationship with God. The truth is, no one can complete you or fill a void that only God was meant to fill.
Have you ever had this thought that “If only I had a relationship, I would be happier”? This is a lie the world tells us. True fulfillment comes from knowing God first. A relationship should complement your life, not complete it because in Christ you are already complete.
“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33 (ESV)
The more you invest in your relationship with God, the more you become the person He created you to be, and the more prepared you’ll be for the right relationship when the time comes.
2. Let God Shape Your Character
To be very honest, no one enters a relationship as a flawless, perfectly put-together person. We all have our struggles, habits, and past wounds that, if left unchecked, can spill over into our relationships. The problem isn’t having flaws, it’s refusing to let God work on them.
A relationship won’t fix insecurity. Marriage won’t heal emotional wounds. A godly partner won’t erase unhealthy patterns. Only God can transform you from the inside out. Instead of waiting for someone to “complete” you, allow God to refine you.
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” — Romans 12:2 (ESV).
God isn’t asking for perfection, He’s asking for willingness. So, instead of just praying for the right person, pray that “Lord, make me into the person You’ve called me to be.”
3. Grow in Emotional Maturity
Love is more than just an emotion. When things are going well, it’s simple to feel in love, but true love isn’t about fleeting feelings. Love is a choice, a daily decision to be kind, patient, and dedicated even when things aren’t going well
Strong relationships need maturity, self-control, and sacrifice. Feelings alone will not get you through disagreements, or misunderstandings. That’s where commitment comes into play, the determination to stick around, the intentionality to work through problems, and keep choosing the other person.
Maturity is that you know how to apologize, take responsibility, and handle your emotions in a healthy way. It means you’re prepared for love beyond the honeymoon phase, the kind of love that mirrors Christ’s love for us which is unconditional.
“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.” (1 Corinthians 13:11)
4. Build yourself
A relationship isn’t some shortcut to wholeness. If you’re not making progress now, marriage won’t magically fix it. So instead of waiting, start building.
“Prepare your work outside; get everything ready for yourself in the field, and after that build your house.” (Proverbs 24:27, ESV)
Before stepping into love, take time to build yourself first. Build your career, and skills, and pursue your goals. your purpose isn’t on hold until marriage. Make progress, develop your gifts, and embrace the season you’re in. In this way, you’re not just waiting for the right person, but becoming the right person.
Conclusion
This season of singleness isn’t a waiting room, it’s an opportunity. So embrace it, grow through it, and trust that when the time is right, God will align you with the right person. Until then, keep becoming the best version of yourself in Christ!
I want to write to those who are experiencing any form of delay regarding settling down.
Ex 32:1 And when the people saw that Moses delayed to come down out of the mount, the people gathered themselves together unto Aaron, and said unto him, Up, make us gods, which shall go before us; for as for this Moses, the man that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we wot not what is become of him.
Have you been here before? All your mates are married and it seems your spouse is delaying. Hasn’t he received you yet? What is she still doing on the mountain?
I heard a story sometime back when a guy was given a resounding slap after proposing to a lady. The lady was said to have wondered what took him so long.
In the passage above, the Israelites were frustrated that Moses delayed, so they sought other options. You too might be frustrated that your biological clock is ticking and no one is in view. My admonition to you is that you should not settle for other options. Don’t settle for a married fellow, a pervert, or an abusive person just in a bid to change your status.
In the New Testament, some people also experienced delays as the bridegroom decided to take his time.
Matt 25:5 KJV While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept.
Some people have actually given up on the possibility of getting married to their God-ordained spouse. Some people have slumbered and slept off in the process of waiting.
In some cases, the delay is caused by the people involved. In other cases, the delay is from the bridegroom. Whichever case you fall into, there is something you can do rather than resign to fate.
Matt 9:15 KJV And Jesus said unto them, Can the children of the bridechamber mourn, as long as the bridegroom is with them? but the days will come, when the bridegroom shall be taken from them, and then shall they fast.
Yes, fast and pray. When it looks like you’ve done all you know how to do, yet your spouse is not forthcoming, you go into fasting. Why fast?
God will not just create your spouse the moment you begin fasting. Fasting will not change God either. It will humble your soul. It will discipline your flesh. If you are sincere with it, God begins to show you areas you need to work on. God begins to open your eyes. Your spirit man comes alive. You get downloads straight from above. You suddenly realize your partner has been hanging around ever since.
So what are some of the things I think you should know before you march down that altar to say ‘I DO’?
1. Marriage is a Covenant
“Yet you ask, Why does He reject it? Because the Lord was witness [to the COVENANT MADE AT YOUR MARRIAGE] between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously and to whom you were faithless. Yet she is your companion and the WIFE OF YOUR COVENANT [made by your marriage vows].” Malachi 2:14 AMPC
Did you see that?
Marriage is not just something that is carnal or merely physical… marriage is deeply spiritual and a serious business, with serious implications.
So the first thing you must understand about marriage is that marriage is a covenant!
Having this understanding will give you some ‘sense’ so that you don’t just handle your marriage matter, ranging from the choice of a marriage partner to the marriage itself, with a light hand.
You understand that you’re entering into a covenant with anyone you marry, so you can’t afford to just marry any Tom, Jerry, or Jeff that comes your way! Or any Cinderella, Queenette, or Jessica that comes along your path! You choose wisely, by the Spirit.
Why?
Because you know you’re entering a covenant!
Having this understanding will even help prepare your heart way ahead of your marriage to remain faithful (in thought, word, and action) to your partner. So you start knowing that infidelity is not an option… like your heart gets locked on the matter way before you start your marriage.
Listen. You don’t prepare for battle in the midst of battle! What majorly keeps us in the face of battle are the preparations we made before that battle!
So pondering on these things right now, before you ‘I DO’, will help give you the right posture to have a successful marriage when YOU DO.
Can you talk to yourself now? Say:
“Ogbonnaya (of course you put your name there), marriage is a covenant! You have to be deliberate about it.”
Everyone is looking for where the grass is greener. And subtly, somewhere in our minds, we keep our eyes on other people’s lands. But remember the 10th commandment?
“Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.” Exodus 20:17 [KJV]
It’s easy to look at other relationships and think they have it better. Whether single or married, the temptation to keep looking at other people’s lives, believing that something “better” is out there, can creep in. But the truth actually is:
The grass isn’t greener on the other side; it’s greener where you water it.
For singles, social media can make it seem like everyone else is in a perfect relationship, while you wait. And you may start thinking, “Am I a spoon?” But don’t let comparison push you into desperation. Rushing into the wrong relationship because you feel left out can lead to heartbreak. Instead of searching desperately for the “greener grass” of a change of relationship status, focus on making yourself greener—growing yourself emotionally, spiritually, and mentally—so that when the right person comes, you’re ready.
For married couples, it’s easy to become dissatisfied when you start noticing flaws in your spouse. The excitement of the early days fades, and you might be tempted to think, “Maybe I married the wrong person.” Or worse still, you look at another marriage and begin to fall in love with another person’s spouse. But remember, we don’t fall in love like that, rather we fall in alignment with the angel of our destiny. (Laughs)
Every great marriage you admire was built—not found. Instead of looking outside, invest in what you already have. Communicate, forgive, appreciate, and keep nurturing your love.
Dear couples, let me even add another thought for you to ponder: the grass always looks greener on the other side until you come close. That person you’re now lusting after, whether subtly or overtly, has flaws too—maybe even greater than those of your spouse. The difference is that you’re close to your spouse but far from the person—so you see all your spouse’s flaws and not one of the other person’s. It’s easy to admire a person from afar, but when you come close, you find that there are flaws.
Listen, don’t destroy your marriage thinking the grass is greener elsewhere. Fight that distraction destroying your marriage. Stop looking at another man or woman. Focus on your spouse. Stop comparing. Focus on your marriage. Make it work.
Finally, dear singles and married, the devil thrives on making us believe that joy is always somewhere else. But true fulfillment comes from gratitude, contentment, and commitment. So, be grateful and content with where you are and what you have. And learn to water the grass in front of you—that’s where the greener grass is.
