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Marry from Your Tribe

Marriage, they say, is the only institution where you receive a certificate even before you start. It is a lifelong journey, and the person you choose to walk with determines where and how you end up. Your spouse has a significant impact on your future, destiny, and purpose in life.  

The question of whom to marry is a crucial one that requires sincere answers. Many people seem good, kind, and caring, but that does not necessarily mean they are God’s best for you as a life partner.  

When I say “marry from your tribe,” I’m not referring to ethnicity, nationality, or cultural background. I’m talking about the tribe of Christ, which is the body of believers.  

The Bible clearly states

[Amos 3:3] “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”

A partner who does not share your faith and convictions will eventually create division, which will make walking in unity difficult.

Your tribe is not just someone who goes to church but a true believer in Christ. Someone who shares the same understanding of salvation, grace, and the Lordship of Jesus.  

“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14)

Being in the same church does not mean you share the same faith. Someone can be religious without being saved. True compatibility in Christ goes beyond attending services together. It means having the same foundation in faith.  

If you believe in living a life of holiness, prayer, and service to God, marrying someone who doesn’t share those values will only bring conflict.  

For example:  

If you are convicted about modesty, don’t marry someone who believes otherwise, hoping they will change. Or if you belong to the no ornaments tribe, don’t marry someone who loves jewelry, expecting them to abandon it after marriage.  

Yes, change is possible through God, but some changes require deep personal conviction. Marriage is meant to be enjoyed, not endured.  

“Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.” (Psalm 127:1)

Steps to Marry from God’s Tribe  

1. Be a Part of the Tribe First  

Before looking for a godly spouse, ensure that you are rooted in Christ. You cannot find the right person if you are not the right person.

“Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” Matthew 6:33

2. Pray for Divine Guidance  

Marriage is not just about emotions; it’s a spiritual covenant. Seek God’s direction before making a choice.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6  

3. Observe Their Fruit, Not Just Their Words  

Jesus said, By their fruits, you will know them. Matthew 7:16  

A godly spouse should exhibit the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Galatians 5:22-23.  

4. Check for Doctrinal Agreement  

Do you both believe in salvation by grace? Do you both understand the role of faith, prayer, and obedience to God? Differences in core beliefs can create future conflicts.  

5. Seek Godly Counsel  

Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety. Proverbs 11:14

Involve spiritual mentors, pastors, or mature believers in your decision-making process.  

Marriage is a journey that should bring joy, not sorrow. You can either enjoy marriage or manage marriage. Let your standard go beyond the physical. Choose wisely and within the tribe of God.  

Shalom!