When a marriage becomes strained by conflict, unmet expectations, or harmful behaviors, it’s natural to wrestle with difficult questions: Should I stay and endure the challenges, or is it time to leave? The decision to remain in a troubled marriage or walk away is deeply personal and often fraught with emotion. However, as Christians, we are called to approach this dilemma through prayer, wisdom, and reliance on God’s Word. Let’s explore how to navigate this complex issue with grace and discernment.
1. Understand God’s Design for Marriage
Marriage is a sacred covenant ordained by God (Malachi 2:14). It reflects Christ’s relationship with the Church—a bond meant to be enduring, sacrificial, and redemptive. While divorce is permitted in cases of sexual immorality (Matthew 19:9) and abandonment by an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:15), Scripture emphasizes perseverance and reconciliation whenever possible.
Before making any decisions, consider whether your struggles fall within biblical grounds for separation or if they stem from misunderstandings, sin patterns, or unresolved conflicts that can be addressed through effort and counseling. Leaving should never be the first option—it should only follow sincere attempts at restoration.
2. Evaluate the Nature of the “Nonsense”
The term “nonsense” can encompass a wide range of issues—from minor annoyances to serious offenses like abuse, infidelity, or addiction. Minor irritations require patience and forbearance (Colossians 3:13), while more severe problems demand immediate attention and protective measures.
Ask yourself:
Is my spouse willing to work on our issues together?
Are there signs of repentance and a desire for change?
Am I facing behavior that threatens my safety or violates God’s principles?
If the nonsense involves physical, emotional, or spiritual harm, staying may not be healthy or godly. In such cases, seeking professional help, legal protection, or temporary separation may be necessary to ensure safety and accountability.
3. Commit to Prayer and Seek Wise Counsel
Proverbs 15:22 says, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed.” Before deciding to leave or stay, bring your situation before the Lord in prayer. Ask Him for clarity, strength, and guidance. Surrender your desires and fears to Him, trusting that He will lead you toward His best for your life.
Additionally, seek counsel from mature believers, pastors, or Christian counselors who can provide objective insight. Avoid isolating yourself or relying solely on emotions when making such a significant decision. A trusted community can offer perspective and support during this challenging season.
4. Consider Efforts Toward Restoration
God delights in restoring broken relationships. Hosea 6:1 reminds us, “Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces, but He will heal us; He has injured us, but He will bind up our wounds.” If both spouses are willing, pursue reconciliation through humility, forgiveness, and intentional steps toward healing.
This may involve:
Attending marriage counseling together
Setting boundaries to address harmful behaviors
Practicing forgiveness without enabling destructive patterns
Committing to personal growth and spiritual renewal
However, restoration requires mutual effort. If one partner refuses to acknowledge the problem or take responsibility, reconciliation may not be possible—at least not immediately.
5. Know When to Set Boundaries
In some situations, staying in a toxic environment may do more harm than good. Abuse—whether physical, emotional, or verbal—is never acceptable and contradicts God’s command to love and honor one another (Ephesians 5:28-29). Similarly, chronic unfaithfulness or substance abuse can create an unsafe and unstable home.
Setting boundaries doesn’t mean giving up on your marriage—it means prioritizing your well-being and protecting yourself and your children, if applicable. Temporary separation or other interventions may be necessary to create space for reflection, repentance, and potential restoration under healthier conditions.
Deciding whether to leave a marriage or cope with its challenges is one of the hardest choices anyone can face. As you weigh your options, remember that God values unity and redemption, but He also cares deeply about justice, safety, and wholeness. Lean on Him for wisdom and surround yourself with godly counsel.
Ultimately, the goal isn’t just survival—it’s thriving. Whether you choose to stay and fight for your marriage or step away to protect yourself, trust that God is with you every step of the way. Psalm 34:18 assures us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” No matter what path lies ahead, His grace is sufficient to sustain you and guide you toward healing and hope.
Every wife desires certain core elements in her marriage that foster love, respect, and emotional security. While individual preferences may vary, universal longings are rooted in God’s design for relationships. Understanding these desires can help husbands create a nurturing environment where their wives feel cherished, valued, and supported. Here’s what every wife truly wants in her marriage.
1. To Be Loved Deeply
At the heart of every woman’s longing is the desire to be loved deeply and unconditionally. Ephesians 5:25 instructs husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church—sacrificially and wholeheartedly. A wife yearns for love that goes beyond words; she wants to feel seen, known, and treasured for who she is.
This kind of love involves expressing affection through both actions and words. Small gestures like holding her hand, leaving encouraging notes, or simply saying “I love you” regularly remind her of your devotion. Love isn’t just about grand romantic gestures—it’s about consistent care and attention.
2. To Feel Respected and Valued
Respect is foundational to a thriving marriage. Peter 3:7 urges husbands to treat their wives with honor as co-heirs of the grace of life. Wives want to know that their opinions matter, that their contributions are appreciated, and that they are equal partners in the journey of life.
Respect means listening without interrupting, valuing her input, and supporting her dreams and goals. It also means avoiding criticism or dismissive behavior. When a wife feels respected, she feels safe to express herself fully and contribute meaningfully to the relationship.
3. Emotional Connection and Communication
Wives crave deep emotional intimacy—the kind that comes from open, honest communication. They want to share their thoughts, fears, joys, and struggles with their husbands and feel understood and supported. James 1:19 reminds us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.
Active listening is key. Put away distractions, make eye contact, and engage genuinely when she speaks. Ask thoughtful questions and validate her feelings, even if you don’t fully understand them. An emotional connection builds trust and strengthens the bond between husband and wife.
4. Leadership Rooted in Love
A wife looks to her husband for spiritual and relational leadership—but not domination. She desires a leader who leads with humility, gentleness, and wisdom, following Christ’s example (Colossians 3:19). This kind of leadership creates a sense of stability and protection within the marriage.
Spiritual leadership includes praying together, studying Scripture, and making decisions that align with God’s will. Leading with love means prioritizing her well-being, seeking unity, and modeling Christlike character. A loving leader inspires confidence and admiration in his wife.
5. Quality Time Together
Time is one of the most precious gifts a husband can give his wife. In our busy world, it’s easy to let responsibilities overshadow relational priorities, but Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds what is good.” Investing time in the relationship demonstrates that she is a priority.
Quality time doesn’t have to be elaborate—it could be a quiet evening at home, a walk together, or a shared hobby. What matters most is being present and intentional. Regular date nights or moments of undivided attention reassure her that she holds a special place in your heart.
While every wife is unique, these core desires—to be loved deeply, respected, emotionally connected, led with love, and given quality time—are universal. Meeting these needs requires effort, patience, and a willingness to prioritize your wife above other distractions.
Husbands, remember that loving your wife well reflects not only your commitment to her but also your reverence for God. As you seek to fulfill these desires, pray for wisdom and guidance, trusting that God will bless your efforts to honor Him in your marriage.
Ultimately, a happy wife contributes to a happy home. By nurturing these aspects of your relationship, you’ll build a strong, joyful, and God-honoring partnership that stands the test of time. After all, “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22).
Life is unpredictable, and there may be moments when it feels like everyone has turned their back on you—friends, family, or even people you trusted deeply. But here’s the unshakable truth: God will never abandon you. His presence is constant, His love unconditional, and His promises eternal. Let’s explore why you can trust that God will always be by your side, no matter what you face.
1. God’s Covenant Promises Are Unbreakable
Throughout Scripture, God establishes covenants with His people—promises that reflect His unwavering faithfulness. In Deuteronomy 31:6, Moses reassures Israel: “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.”
This promise isn’t limited to ancient Israel—it applies to you today. God’s covenant with us through Jesus Christ ensures that His presence remains steadfast. No matter how dark the night or overwhelming the storm, He keeps His word. His commitment to you is unbreakable.
2. Jesus Paid the Price to Be With You Forever
The ultimate proof of God’s refusal to abandon you is found at the cross. Romans 5:8 declares, “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Jesus willingly gave His life so that you could have an eternal relationship with Him. Through His sacrifice, He bridged the gap between humanity and God, making it possible for His Spirit to dwell within you (John 14:16-17).
Because of Jesus, you are never alone. The Holy Spirit lives inside every believer, guiding, comforting, and empowering you daily. Even in your weakest moments, God’s Spirit is there, reminding you of His love and presence.
3. God’s Nature Is Faithful and Steadfast
Malachi 3:6 reminds us, “I the Lord do not change.” Unlike human relationships, which can falter due to circumstances or emotions, God’s character is immutable. He is faithful, compassionate, and merciful—always ready to embrace you with open arms. Lamentations 3:22-23 echoes this truth: “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.”
No matter how far you feel from Him, God’s heart toward you remains unchanged. His love doesn’t waver based on your performance or mistakes. It’s rooted in who He is—a loving Father who delights in being near to you.
4. God Sees You in Your Struggles
Psalm 139:7-10 beautifully illustrates God’s omnipresence: “Where can I go from Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence? If I go up to the heavens, You are there; if I make my bed in the depths, You are there.” There is nowhere you can hide from God’s watchful care. Whether you’re soaring in success or sinking in despair, He sees you and knows your pain.
Even when you feel invisible or forgotten, God notices every tear, hears every prayer, and counts every sigh. Isaiah 41:10 assures us, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” You are never out of His sight or beyond His reach.
5. God Works All Things Together for Your Good
When life feels chaotic or unfair, it’s easy to wonder if God has abandoned you. But Romans 8:28 offers profound comfort: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” Though you may not understand His plan in the moment, God uses every trial and triumph to shape you into the person He created you to be.
God’s absence is never the reason for your struggles—instead, He walks beside you through them, using each experience to refine your faith and draw you closer to Him. Trust that He hasn’t left you; He’s working behind the scenes for your ultimate good.
God’s promise to never abandon you is woven throughout Scripture and sealed by His very nature. From His unchanging faithfulness to the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit, He proves time and again that He is always with you. When loneliness creeps in or doubts arise, anchor yourself in His promises. Speak them aloud, meditate on them, and let them renew your hope.
Deuteronomy 31:8 concludes with these powerful words: “The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Whatever season you find yourself in today, rest assured that God is holding you close. He won’t let go—not now, not ever.
Life has a way of swallowing up our best intentions. Between deadlines, responsibilities, and unexpected curveballs, passion can quietly slip into the background. Not because love is gone, but because busyness has a way of pushing connection to the side.
Whether you’re married or preparing for marriage, here’s the truth: passion isn’t self-sustaining — it’s like a fire. If you don’t feed it, it fades.
Here are some steps to keeping passion alive:
1. Make time, don’t just wait for it.
Schedule date nights, walks, or even ten minutes of undistracted conversation if you’re married. If you’re single, start practising intentionality in your friendships and courtship. You won’t “find time” later if you don’t learn to make time now.
2. Keep the playfulness alive.
Married? Send a light, affectionate message or give a warm compliment. Single? Learn to keep joy and humour alive in your interactions — it keeps relationships fresh and enjoyable.
Playfulness says, “I still choose you” (or “I’m glad I’m getting to know you”).
3. Share more than tasks.
Married couples can get stuck in to-do list mode. Singles in courtship can get stuck in “just the facts” mode.
Either way, connection grows when you share your dreams, fears, and funny little stories. Emotional intimacy fuels every other kind of intimacy.
4. Touch more.
If you’re married, small touches — holding hands, a hug in the kitchen — keep the bond alive. If you’re single, you can’t “practise” this physically, but you can practise warmth and kindness in your body language and expressions.
5. Protect your special space.
For married couples, your bedroom should feel like a sanctuary, not a storage room. For singles, your personal space (home, desk, car) should reflect peace and care. The way you treat your space impacts how you treat relationships.
6. Pray together.
Married couples can pray as one before God. Singles can pray together as friends or in courtship, building spiritual intimacy the right way. Prayer aligns hearts and keeps relationships God-centred.
7. Keep learning each other.
Married? Your spouse will change over time — stay curious. Single? Keep asking questions and discovering new layers about the person you’re getting to know. Relationships thrive when you keep exploring.
Passion doesn’t vanish overnight — it fades slowly from neglect. Whether you’re building a relationship or nurturing a marriage, choose to feed it deliberately.
Love may be a gift from God, but keeping it vibrant is a daily choice.
In our hyper-connected world, love stories are everywhere. Your Instagram feed showcases picture-perfect proposals, your friends announce engagements with ring selfies, and dating apps promise instant connections. It’s no wonder that many of us find ourselves measuring our romantic journey against these highlight reels.
Comparison quietly robs you of joy and makes you question God’s timeline for your life.
“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9)
Consider the diversity of love stories even within Scripture:
• Isaac and Rebekah: An arranged marriage that blossomed into deep love (Genesis 24)
• Jacob and Rachel: A seven-year courtship marked by obstacles and waiting (Genesis 29)
• Ruth and Boaz: A widow who found love through faithfulness and divine providence (Book of Ruth)
• Mary and Joseph: A couple called to extraordinary circumstances requiring tremendous faith (Matthew 1)
Each story was different, yet perfectly orchestrated by God’s hand.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9)
Some relationships blossom quickly, like spring flowers after the first warm rain. Others take years to grow, like mighty oak trees that require deep roots and patient seasons.
Some people meet their future spouse in church during a worship service, others in the workplace over shared projects, and some only after walking through a long season of singleness that prepared their hearts.
None of these paths are “less spiritual” or “more blessed” than the others. They’re simply different chapters in God’s bigger story.
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1)
Here are Practical Steps to Trust God’s Timeline
1. Limit Social Media Consumption
If scrolling through engagement announcements consistently leaves you feeling discouraged, consider taking breaks from social media or unfollowing accounts that trigger comparison.
2. Practice Gratitude
Keep a gratitude journal, noting the good things God is doing in your life right now, regardless of your relationship status.
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
3. Invest in Personal Growth
Use this season to become the person God wants you to be. Read books, attend counseling if needed, develop your gifts, and pursue your passions.
4. Serve Others
Sometimes, the best way to stop obsessing over our own timeline is to invest in others’ lives. Volunteer, mentor someone younger, or find ways to use your gifts in ministry.
5. Surround Yourself with Like-Minds (Community)
Find friends who will remind you of God’s faithfulness and your identity in Christ, especially during seasons of waiting.
God is writing a beautiful story with your life, including your love life. Trust the Author who knows the perfect beginning, middle, and end. Your chapter is coming at exactly the right time, and it will be more beautiful than anything you could have planned for yourself.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Forgiveness and Forbearance in Relationships and Marriage
In any relationship—whether romantic, familial, or platonic—conflicts and offenses are inevitable. Human beings are imperfect, and even the closest bonds can be tested by misunderstandings, hurtful words, or unmet expectations. However, forgiveness and forbearance are two powerful tools that God provides to restore unity, deepen love, and sustain lasting relationships. Let’s explore how these principles play a vital role in nurturing healthy connections.
1. Forgiveness: Releasing the Debt of Offense
Forgiveness is the act of letting go of resentment or vengeance when someone wrongs you. It doesn’t mean excusing their behavior or pretending the offense didn’t happen; rather, it’s choosing to release them from the “debt” they owe you. Ephesians 4:32 instructs us, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
In marriage and relationships, forgiveness is essential because no one is immune to mistakes. Holding onto grudges creates bitterness and erodes trust over time. When we forgive, we model Christ’s grace toward us (Colossians 3:13) and open the door for healing and reconciliation. Forgiveness isn’t always easy—it requires humility and strength—but it’s necessary for true intimacy.
2. Forbearance: Bearing with One Another’s Imperfections
While forgiveness addresses specific wrongs, forbearance involves enduring ongoing challenges or irritations without becoming resentful. Colossians 3:13 says, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.” Forbearance means having patience and tolerance for your partner’s quirks, weaknesses, or differences—even when they frustrate you.
Marriage especially requires forbearance because living closely with another person inevitably highlights areas where you clash. Perhaps your spouse leaves things messy, forgets important dates, or struggles with emotional expression. Instead of reacting harshly, choose to extend grace, remembering that you, too, have flaws that require patience from others.
3. The Role of Communication in Forgiveness and Forbearance
Effective communication is key to practicing both forgiveness and forbearance. Misunderstandings often escalate conflicts, so addressing issues calmly and honestly is crucial. James 1:19 advises, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”
When an offense occurs, take time to process your emotions before responding. Approach the conversation with a desire to understand rather than accuse. Use phrases like “I felt hurt when…” instead of “You always…” This helps foster constructive dialogue and prevents defensiveness.
Likewise, when practicing forbearance, communicate your needs kindly. If something bothers you consistently, share it gently rather than bottling it up until resentment builds. Healthy communication strengthens both forgiveness and long-suffering in relationships.
4. Modeling Christlike Love
Forgiveness and forbearance reflect Christ’s unconditional love for us. He bore our sins on the cross, offering full forgiveness despite our unworthiness (Romans 5:8). As believers, we’re called to imitate His example in our marriages and relationships.
In moments of conflict, ask yourself: How would Jesus respond? Would He withhold grace or offer mercy? By keeping Christ at the center of your interactions, you’ll find it easier to forgive quickly and bear burdens patiently. Love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8), and when love leads, forgiveness and forbearance naturally follow.
5. Building a Culture of Grace
Forgiveness and forbearance shouldn’t be rare occurrences—they should become part of the fabric of your relationship. Create a culture of grace where apologies are freely given and received, and imperfections are met with understanding. Proverbs 17:9 says, “Whoever would foster love covers over an offense.”
Celebrate small victories, like apologizing promptly or choosing not to react angrily during a disagreement. Over time, these habits build resilience and deepen your bond. A marriage rooted in grace becomes a safe haven where both partners feel valued and accepted.
Forgiveness and forbearance aren’t optional in relationships—they’re foundational. Without them, wounds fester, walls go up, and hearts grow distant. But when practiced faithfully, they create space for restoration, growth, and deeper connection.
Remember, none of us deserves God’s forgiveness, yet He lavishes it upon us freely. In the same way, extend that same measure of grace to those you love. As you commit to forgiving fully and bearing patiently, you’ll experience the beauty of a relationship anchored in God’s love. After all, “Love keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:5)—and neither should we.
The Dangers of Sexual Sins in a Relationship or Marriage
The bible makes us understand that God created sex as a beautiful gift, meant for reproduction, intimacy, and bonding within the covenant of marriage. Furthermore, we know that our bodies are not our own; they belong to God and are temples of the Holy Spirit.
When we use our bodies in ways that dishonor Him, we grieve His Spirit. Over time, if we normalize sin, our hearts can grow hard, and the consequences are grave.
God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done.Romans 1:28 (NIV)
If you’ve struggled with an addiction for years, it may feel impossible to stop, but Jesus, the Light of the world, can break even the strongest habit.
If you are a believer and find yourself trapped in sexual sin, the enemy will whisper, “It’s normal… everyone does it.” That’s a lie. Your new life in Christ is pure and righteous.
Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul (1 Peter 2:11, KJV).
No sexual sin is harmless. It wars against your soul, dulls your spiritual senses, and hinders intimacy with God.
Take a moment to ask honestly: Why do I indulge in sexual sins?
Boredom or idleness? Then fill your time with purposeful activities like Bible study, prayer, service, exercise, or learning new skills.
Pornography or sexual media? If you’re trying to break free from sexual sins, yet consume sexual content, you’re feeding the very habit you’re fighting. Jesus said, “If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off”. That means removing triggers without compromise.
Here are practical ways to be free from sexual sins
1. Run to Jesus first: Only He can cleanse, forgive, and give you the strength to walk in purity.
2. Replace bad habits: Read Scripture daily, join a prayer group, serve in your church. Idle hands and minds are the devil’s playground.
3. Remove triggers: Delete sexual content, unfollow tempting accounts, and get rid of romantic/pornographic books and media.
4. Confide in someone mature: Accountability is powerful.
5. Stay persistent in prayer: Victory is often a process. Keep leaning on Jesus daily.
If you are single, you need to guard your mind and eyes, use your single years to grow spiritually and in purpose, not to indulge lust, and above all, learn self-control. It’s the same discipline you’ll need in marriage.
And to the married, understand that sexual intimacy is God’s provision against sexual temptation. If you struggle with sexual sin in marriage, it may signal a deeper intimacy or communication gap. Address it together prayerfully. Also, protect your sexual bond by keeping your desire directed toward your spouse, not self-gratification.
There is a difference between guarding your heart and hardening it, but truth be told, many of us confuse the two. Especially as singles, after being let down too many times, we slowly start to shut the doors of our hearts. We start to believe the safest version of love is to not love at all. We say we are “protecting our peace,” but really, we are hiding behind emotional walls that God never asked us to build.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” — Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)
When God says, “guard your heart,” He is not telling you to lock yourself away. He is inviting you to watch over what shapes you, what you absorb, what you dwell on, and who you allow to influence your soul. Guarding your heart is not about withdrawing from people or burying your feelings. It is about living wisely—with discernment, not with fear. Because everything flows from your heart: your decisions, your relationships, your self-worth, even your prayers. So, if the heart is that central, it makes sense to tend to it with care.
But sometimes, especially when you have loved deeply or been hurt silently, building walls feels safer. Walls protect you from disappointment. From rejection. From hoping again. But walls also block out healing. They keep out the people God may actually be sending. And the thing is, when you shut off one part of your heart to avoid getting hurt, other parts start to go quiet too. You may think you are just blocking out people or pain, but over time, you can start to feel distant from God too. Not because He left, but because your heart is no longer open. Numbness does not come with a filter—it dulls everything, even the voice of the One trying to heal you.
So how do you guard your heart the right way?
It starts with remembering who you are. You are not ordinary, and your heart is not something to be handled casually. You were bought at a high price — the blood of Jesus. That alone speaks of your worth. When you truly see your value, you stop handing out deep access to people who have only shown surface interest. Just because someone is available or attracted to you does not mean they are meant to carry your heart. That is not pride, it is wisdom. Guarding your heart means being careful with what is sacred, not shutting down, but choosing who truly deserves to come close.
Guarding your heart also looks like staying open with God. A guarded heart is not a disconnected one. It is a heart that remains soft in His presence—even if it feels vulnerable. It is crying when you are tired of waiting, journaling when you do not understand what He is doing, and worshipping even when your emotions feel like a mess. It is letting Him touch the places no one else sees. That is guarding with grace.
It also means slowing down. In a culture that rushes relationships and pressures people to define everything quickly, guarding your heart means giving things time to unfold. You are not in a hurry. When something is from God, it will not require you to lose your peace to keep it. You do not need to overshare, overthink, or overextend to keep someone interested. You are allowed to take your time.
Finally, guarding your heart means trusting God more than your fears. Let’s be real: sometimes, we build walls because we do not fully trust that God will protect us if we try again. But His love is not only for eternity. It is for now, too, and if He asks you to guard your heart, it is because He plans to fill it with purpose, joy, and, yes, even love. But He needs you to be whole enough to receive it.
So in conclusion, do not go cold. Just grow guarded in the right way. Not closed off, just careful. Not anxious, just wise. Stay soft, but with boundaries. Let discernment, not fear, lead you. Because fear shuts you in, but discernment keeps you open to the life and love God still has for you.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader who lives in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
Love is more than just words—it’s expressed through consistent actions, attitudes, and sacrifices. While every individual expresses love differently, certain signs reveal genuine affection that aligns with God’s design for relationships. Whether you’re navigating friendship, dating, or marriage, here are key indicators that someone truly loves you.
1. They Prioritize Spending Time with You
Time is one of the most valuable gifts we can give someone. A person who loves you will make intentional efforts to spend quality time with you, even amidst their busy schedule.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is a time for everything.”
When they prioritize you, it shows they value your presence and cherish the moments you share.
This doesn’t mean they’ll always be available, but when they do spend time with you, they’re fully present—listening, engaging, and investing in your connection. Their actions demonstrate that you matter deeply to them.
2. They Speak Words of Encouragement and Affirmation
Proverbs 18:21 reminds us, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” Someone who genuinely loves you uses their words to uplift and affirm you. They notice your strengths, celebrate your successes, and offer encouragement during tough times. Instead of criticizing or tearing you down, they speak life into your heart.
Whether it’s a simple compliment, heartfelt praise, or reassurance of your worth, their words reflect kindness and respect. These verbal expressions build trust and remind you of how much you mean to them.
3. They Sacrifice for Your Well-Being
True love involves sacrifice—a willingness to put your needs above their own desires. Ephesians 5:25 calls husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church—by giving Himself up for her. While this principle applies to marriage, sacrificial love is also evident in other relationships.
A person who loves you will go out of their way to support you, whether it’s helping with practical tasks, offering emotional comfort, or making personal adjustments to accommodate your needs. Their sacrifices aren’t motivated by obligation but by a sincere desire to see you thrive.
4. They Respect Your Boundaries
Respect is a cornerstone of healthy love. A person who truly cares about you honors your boundaries—whether physical, emotional, or relational. They don’t pressure you to compromise your values or disregard your limits. Instead, they seek to understand what makes you feel safe and valued.
1 Peter 3:7 instructs husbands to treat their wives with respect, emphasizing that honor is an essential part of love. Similarly, anyone who loves you will treat you with dignity and consideration, ensuring that you feel respected and cherished.
5. They Support Your Spiritual Growth
A godly person who loves you will encourage your relationship with God rather than hinder it. They understand that your spiritual well-being is foundational to your identity and purpose. Together, you’ll pray, study Scripture, and pursue holiness—not out of obligation, but because they want to grow closer to God alongside you.
Hebrews 10:24-25 highlights this principle: “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” A loving partner will challenge you to live faithfully, cheer you on in your walk with Christ, and create space for God to work in both of your lives.
Love isn’t defined by grand gestures or fleeting emotions—it’s revealed through steadfast commitment, thoughtful actions, and selfless care. If someone consistently demonstrates these signs, chances are they genuinely love you. However, it’s important to ensure that their behavior aligns with biblical principles and reflects God’s unconditional love.
As you evaluate relationships, remember 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, which describes love as patient, kind, humble, forgiving, and enduring. True love seeks the best for others and points them toward Christ. May you recognize and appreciate those who love you deeply—and strive to love others in the same way. After all, love is not just something we receive; it’s something we give, reflecting the heart of our Creator.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader who lives in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
Love in relationships can sometimes feel like a fire that’s burning low. Life, stress, busyness, or misunderstandings can make the spark fade. But the good news is—fire can be rekindled. Here’s how:
1. Talk, Don’t Assume
Sometimes, all you need is a real conversation. Share your feelings—honestly but kindly. Ask your partner how they’re feeling, too. Silence can kill love, but open communication can bring it back to life.
2. Do the Little Things Again
Remember when you used to say “I love you” more, send sweet messages, or hold hands? Start doing those things again. Small acts can reignite big feelings.
3. Spend Quality Time Together
Make time for just the two of you. No phones, no work, no distractions. Go on a walk, a date, or just talk on the couch. Being together builds connection.
4. Forgive and Let Go
Unforgiveness is like a wall between hearts. If there’s hurt, talk about it and work on healing. Love grows when you release the past.
5. Pray Together
Invite God into your relationship. Praying together helps you feel closer and rebuilds unity.
6. Be Kind on Purpose
Speak gently. Be patient. Show love even when you don’t feel like it. Love is not just a feeling—it’s a choice you make every time.
Love is not lost—it may just need a little attention, care, and warmth. Don’t give up. The fire can burn bright again if you both keep tending to it.
5 Things to Do When You Know Your Future Spouse (Who Is Oblivious)
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader who lives in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
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It’s an exciting, yet challenging situation: you believe you’ve met the person God has for you, but they seem completely unaware of your feelings or intentions. While it’s natural to feel eager or even anxious, remember that relationships built on mutual understanding and shared faith are worth waiting for. Here are five godly steps to take when you know your future spouse is oblivious to your perspective.
1. Pray for Clarity and Wisdom
Before taking any action, bring the situation before God in prayer. Ask Him to confirm whether this person truly is your future spouse and to grant both of you clarity about His will. Pray also for wisdom on how to approach the relationship without pressuring or overwhelming them.
James 1:5 reminds us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault.”
Your prayers can cover areas such as their spiritual growth, openness to a potential relationship, and protection from misunderstandings. Trust that God is at work, even if the other person isn’t yet aware of His plans.
2. Focus on Building Genuine Friendship
Instead of rushing into romance, focus on cultivating a strong, authentic friendship. Friendships provide a foundation for deeper connection and allow you to demonstrate Christlike character over time.
Proverbs 18:24 says, “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Show them loyalty, kindness, and support without ulterior motives.
As you spend time together, let your actions speak louder than words. Be intentional about learning their interests, values, and dreams. This builds trust and creates space for them to see you as someone they admire and respect—not just someone pursuing them romantically.
3. Discern Their Readiness for Commitment
Sometimes, the reason someone seems oblivious is that they’re not ready for a serious relationship. Take time to observe where they are in life spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Are they actively seeking God? Do they prioritize personal growth and maturity? If they aren’t in a place to commit, forcing the issue could lead to frustration or harm.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 teaches, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”
Respect their journey and timing while continuing to grow yourself. A healthy relationship requires two people who are equally prepared to move forward.
4. Communicate with Grace and Humility
When the moment feels right—and after much prayer—consider sharing your heart with them. Approach the conversation humbly, focusing on your feelings rather than pressuring them to respond immediately. For example, you might say, “I value our friendship deeply, and I feel led to share that I see potential for something more between us. I understand if this is unexpected, and I want to honor whatever your thoughts are.”
Communicating openly doesn’t mean demanding an answer; it means giving them space to process and respond in their own time.
Ephesians 4:29 encourages us to use words that build up and give grace to those who hear.
5. Trust God to Work in Their Heart
Ultimately, only God can change hearts and reveal His plan to others. If the person remains oblivious or uncertain, trust that He is working behind the scenes.
Psalm 37:5 assures us, “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will do this.”
Avoid manipulating situations or trying to force intimacy. Instead, surrender the outcome to God and continue living faithfully in the meantime.
Use this season to deepen your walk with Christ, serve others, and prepare yourself for marriage. Whether this person becomes your spouse or not, staying obedient to God ensures that you’ll be ready for whatever He has planned.
Knowing your future spouse who is oblivious to your feelings can test your patience and faith, but it’s also an opportunity to trust God’s timing and provision. By praying, building friendship, discerning readiness, communicating gracefully, and trusting His sovereignty, you position yourself to honor both the other person and the Lord.
Remember, marriage is a covenant designed by God, and both parties must be willing participants in His plan. Keep your focus on being the best version of yourself and walking in alignment with His purposes. Even if the path seems unclear now, be assured that God is faithful to guide you step by step toward the future He has prepared for you.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader who lives in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
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We love the idea of “potential.”
He’s not there yet… but he could be.
She’s still finding herself… but she’s got fire.
But here’s the real question: Does he or she have direction?
Hear this clearly:
Potential doesn’t build a marriage. Direction does.
Are you considering someone?
Don’t just ask if they are gifted.
Ask: Are they going anywhere with it?
Purpose isn’t a vibe—it’s a vision. It’s waking up with a sense of assignment. It’s building something bigger than yourself.
You don’t need someone perfect, but you do need someone pursuing. Someone who’s submitted. Someone who’s becoming.
Marriage is more than “We look good together.”
It’s “Can we carry destiny together?”
Can we push each other toward God’s call on our lives?
Can we raise children in purpose?
Can we give sacrificially, serve selflessly, and still laugh while doing it?
If you’re already married, it’s easy to throw purpose out of the window (by the time you begin to change diapers and think about school fees). But the pursuit of purpose shouldn’t stop after the wedding—that’s in fact when it becomes real.
So, become intentional. Ask yourselves:
– What are we building together—besides bills and babies of course?
– Are we aligned spiritually, or just surviving practically?
– Do we challenge each other to grow or just tolerate each other’s comfort zones?
Don’t let your marriage become a museum of old dreams.
Make it a greenhouse—where vision keeps growing, where callings are watered, and where you both flourish side by side.
God never creates purpose in isolation.
He pairs people to partner, not just to cuddle. Remember He made a HELP MEET suitable for Adam.
So whether you’re waiting or already walking the journey, remember this:
The right partnership doesn’t distract you from purpose—it propels you into it.
Red Alert:
If your current relationship is taking you away from purpose, that person is not for you. Cut it off!
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader who lives in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
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There’s a reason God sometimes delays the kind of love you think you’re ready for. God is more concerned about your heart than your relationship status. Many people rush into love thinking it will heal the wounds they have faced, i.e, loneliness, rejection, heartbreak, and fear. The truth is, love doesn’t heal you. God is the only healer of body and soul.
When you don’t give God access to your broken places, you will bleed on people who didn’t cut you. You will expect your partner to fill voids only God was meant to satisfy. That’s why some relationships feel like cycles of disappointment because what you’re really craving is healing, not romance.
Before Adam ever received Eve, he was whole, walking with God, working, and worshipping. It was in that place of completeness that God decided it was not good for him to be alone. He didn’t say Adam was lonely. He said he was ready.
Meanwhile, being healed before dating doesn’t mean you’re perfect. It means you’ve let God into the mess to allow Him to make sense out of your story, and you’re no longer depending on someone else to fix you. Relationships thrive when two whole people meet, not when two broken hearts try to make each other breathe.
God is not punishing you by keeping you single. He’s preparing you. Don’t despise the season of healing. It is the foundation for the love story you’re praying for. As Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds.” Let Him bind up yours.
When you let God heal you, you stop chasing temporary affection and start attracting purpose-aligned love, and that’s the kind of relationship worth waiting for.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader who lives in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
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1. Respect His Role
Acknowledge his position as the leader of the home, not because he’s perfect, but because it’s God’s order.
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” Ephesians 5:22
2. Speak Kindly and With Respect
Use respectful words and tone when speaking to him or about him, even when you’re correcting or disagreeing.
3. Appreciate His Efforts
Say “thank you” often – for providing, protecting, leading, and trying his best.
4. Support His Decisions
Even if you have your views, allow him to lead and trust his judgment. Please share your thoughts, but don’t override him.
Practical Ways To Honor The Man
5. Pray for Him Daily
Cover him in prayer. A man carries weight you may never fully see. Prayer shows you value and support him.
6. Don’t Compete With Him
Don’t try to take over his role or constantly challenge his leadership. Work with him, not against him.
7. Celebrate Him Publicly and Privately
Praise him before the children, friends, and family. Speak highly of him, not down.
8. Seek His Input Before Big Decisions
Let him know you value his opinion. Don’t just inform him—include him.
9. Be His Peace, Not His Stress
Let home be a safe place. Choose patience and understanding instead of nagging or criticizing.
10. Believe in Him
Even when he’s not there yet, show that you trust in who he is becoming.
These small actions speak volumes and help build a healthy, respectful, and loving relationship in which both partners thrive.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader who lives in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
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Today, I want to talk about something that doesn’t always get said out loud. What happens when you’ve caught real feelings for someone, and it honestly feels like a gift from God… but then God tells you, “This isn’t it.”
Maybe you met someone who checks almost every box on your list. They love Jesus, they’re kind, they make you laugh, they actually get your weird jokes (on time), they’re responsible, emotionally mature… all the things you’ve prayed for. And you’re thinking, “God, finally. Thank You. This is my person!”
But then something unsettles you. A gentle nudge. A whisper from the Holy Spirit. Or maybe a clear sense that God is saying, “No, not this one, and it’s confusing. Because everything feels right.
So what are you supposed to do when your heart says yes… and God says no?
1. Let Yourself Feel the Disappointment
First, be honest. Rejection hurts, even when it comes gently from God. So don’t fake a smile or pretend you’re fine. God can handle your feelings. He’s not afraid of your tears or your questions.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 (NIV)
You don’t have to be strong all the time. You just have to be real.
2. Just Because It Looks Good Doesn’t Mean It’s God
This part is hard. Because when someone is mostly what you want, it’s tempting to talk yourself into believing it’s God’s will. But “almost right” is still wrong if God says so.
There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death. Proverbs 14:12 (NIV)
God sees the full picture.
3. God Isn’t Being Cruel. He’s Being Kind.
It might not feel like it, but God saying “no” is often one of the kindest things He can do. He’s not trying to ruin your happiness. He’s protecting your future.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you… Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
That person might be great, just not God’s great for you. He knows the road ahead. You don’t.
4. Don’t Try to Force What God Is Gently Closing
One of the biggest mistakes we make? Pushing through red flags because “we prayed about it” or “they love God too.” We try to write the story our way.
But forcing something that God is closing will only wear you out.
Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Psalm 127:1 (NIV)
Let Him build your love story. His version is better than anything you can try to hold together with your own hands.
5. Peace Is Often Louder Than A Yes
You might not get a booming voice from heaven. But you’ll know when you’re in step with God because there’s peace. Real peace. Not butterflies. Not adrenaline. Peace.
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts… Colossians 3:15 (NIV)
If you have to constantly convince yourself it’s right… it might not be.
God sees you. He knows what you long for. He knows what you need. And when He says no, it’s not rejection. It’s redirection toward something fuller, deeper, and far more lasting than your feelings today.
So what do you do when God says no to your feelings?
You pause. You listen. You trust. And you let Him love you through the ache.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
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There is that space between “I’m working on myself” and “I think I’m ready to love someone,” but you’re also dealing with memories, soul ties, silent temptations, past mistakes, and the fear that you might not get it right.
I used to think I just needed to wait, pray, and stay busy. But healing and wholeness go beyond that. There are layers to it, things you won’t post about. Areas where it’s not about doing devotions or attending programs—it’s more about dealing with the stuff you’ve been ignoring:
That situationship you never fully healed from.
The attention you still crave from people who aren’t serious.
The guilt from compromising, even when you knew better.
That fake confidence you put on to act like this season isn’t hard sometimes.
“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” — Matthew 5:8
So yes, wholeness before romance. No pretense whatsoever. Rather, you are you, just growing to become the best version of what God has ordained you to be.
Areas of wholeness
Wholeness here means you’re no longer depending on people for validation. It means your heart has been checked, your boundaries are clear, and your peace isn’t easily shaken just because someone left or didn’t choose you. It’s learning how to guard your heart without hardening it, and that takes real growth, not just time.
Spiritually, it’s about more than reading your Bible or showing up to church. This is about whether your life is actually built around God, or if He’s just someone you run to when your plans don’t work out. If your connection with God rises and falls based on your emotions or your relationship status, something’s off. Being spiritually whole means your identity is rooted in what God says about you—not how lonely you feel, who left, or how long you’ve been waiting. You’re not searching for someone to complete you spiritually; you’re learning to walk with God daily, not just when it’s convenient or when life gets hard. That kind of stability matters, especially when emotions get involved.
Sexually, it’s not just about whether you’re sleeping with someone or not. You can be physically abstinent and still be struggling. Sexual wholeness has more to do with mindset, discipline, and how you respond to pressure, temptation, and loneliness. Are you having conversations you shouldn’t? Are you feeding thoughts and fantasies that slowly wear you down? Are you excusing small compromises because “it’s not that deep”? This is where honesty matters. Sexual purity isn’t just about rules—it’s about not giving yourself away in pieces because you’re tired of waiting. It’s about choosing discipline even when nobody’s clapping for it, because you know your body is not a bargaining chip—it’s sacred. And even if you’ve messed up before, sexual wholeness is still possible when you let God deal with the root, not just the symptoms.
Before bringing someone else into your life, there are certain areas you have to be honest about. Not because you have to be perfect, but because if you’re not whole in these parts of your life, you may end up carrying confusion, frustration, or even damage into the relationship.
Emotionally, it’s easy to think you’ve moved on, until something small exposes the fact that you haven’t. You may not be dating anyone, but your emotions are still tied to someone you stopped talking to months ago. Or you find yourself getting anxious, overly attached, or shutting down quickly because of unresolved issues from your past.
In conclusion
Wholeness isn’t about getting ready for someone—it’s about finally showing up for yourself. The emptiness you feel isn’t fixed by being chosen; it’s healed by letting God into the parts you’ve avoided. Love won’t save you. But God will. And that’s where real healing begins.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and do you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
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Relationships demand more than fleeting emotion. They require something deeper, sturdier, and often uncomfortable, which is tolerance. It’s not flashy, and it rarely gets applauded. Yet, the quiet strength keeps relationships from crumbling under the weight of human imperfection.
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2 (NIV),
That phrase, “bearing with one another,” holds within it the heart of tolerance. It doesn’t mean putting up with abuse or neglect. It means making room for the rough edges of another soul, edges God might still be shaping.
For the married, this is often tested in the daily rhythm of life. How your spouse leaves the kitchen after cooking, how they process stress, or even how they express affection may not align with your preferences. But tolerance says, “I choose grace. I choose to love you as you are today, not just as I hope you’ll be tomorrow.”
Singles aren’t exempt from this refining process. Whether it’s in friendships, dating, or family dynamics, there’s always an invitation to practice humility and gentleness. Culture often encourages quick exits when discomfort arises, but Scripture calls us to lean in instead.
“bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”Colossians 3:13 (ESV)
The root of tolerance is love laced with patience. It is recognizing that others are works in progress, just like you. It’s resisting the urge to reshape people into our image and allowing God to do His work in His time.
There is also the other side: allowing others to tolerate us. That means being aware of our own weaknesses and accepting grace when it’s given. That’s humbling. But it levels the ground in any relationship, keeping pride in check.
For the single person waiting for marriage, or the married person weathering seasons of frustration, here’s a truth worth holding onto: Tolerance isn’t settling, it’s sowing. You are planting seeds of mercy, humility, and steadfastness that mirror the very nature of Christ. It won’t always feel rewarding in the moment, but it will shape your heart and your relationships into something deeply resilient.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
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Every healthy relationship has conflict. Yes — even the godly ones. Even the mature ones. And even the “we finish each other’s sentences” ones.
The difference between couples who grow stronger and those who grow bitter isn’t the absence of fights. It’s simply how they fight.
Here’s how to fight fair — and still hold hands after:
1. Don’t aim to win; aim to understand.
If your goal is to “win” the argument, someone else has to lose. And when your partner loses, your relationship loses. (LOL)
Ask more questions. Don’t assume. Clarify things. Aim to understand.
2. Watch your tone, not just your words.
Saying “What did you say?” can mean five different things depending on how your eyebrows are positioned.
Tone creates safety — or shuts it down. Use it wisely.
How to Fight Fair and Still Hold Hands After
3. No name-calling. No character assassination.
You can challenge a behaviour without attacking their identity.
“Leaving your clothes everywhere frustrates me” is not the same as “You’re so lazy.”
4. Take breaks if needed; but don’t disappear.
If things get too heated, say, “Can we pause and talk when we’re both calmer?”
Storming out or going silent for days creates fear, not resolution.
5. Pray together, even if it’s awkward.
Nothing humbles a tense heart like holding hands and saying, “God, help us.”
While conflict invites pride, prayer invites peace.
6. Make up well.
Say “I’m sorry” without excuses. Hug. Talk through what you’ve both learned. Then move on. Don’t keep recycling the same argument.
Conflict doesn’t have to end in cold shoulders and quiet dinners.
It can end with better understanding, deeper connection… and yes, still holding hands.
And remember, love isn’t proven by how sweet your date nights are. It’s proven by how kind you are in the middle of a disagreement.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register on this link – https://kissesandhuggs.com/conv2025
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Choosing a life partner is one of the most significant decisions you’ll ever make. This person will walk beside you through joys and trials, share your dreams, and help shape the legacy you leave behind. But this decision shouldn’t rest solely on human wisdom or fleeting emotions—it must be guided by God’s direction and design. Here’s how to discern who your life partner is with God at the center of the process.
1. Surrender Your Desires to God
Before seeking a spouse, surrender your desires and expectations to the Lord. Often, our vision for “the perfect partner” is shaped by societal standards, past experiences, or unmet needs. However, Psalm 37:4 reminds us, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” When you delight in God above all else, He aligns your heart with His plan, replacing selfish ambitions with godly priorities.
Pray and ask God to reveal His will for your future spouse. Trust that His timing and choice are far better than anything you could orchestrate on your own.
2. Seek Wisdom and Discernment
God promises wisdom to those who ask (James 1:5), so seek His guidance as you navigate relationships. Look beyond surface-level attractions and evaluate character, values, and spiritual maturity. Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” Notice the emphasis on finding someone who reflects goodness—a reflection of God’s nature.
Ask yourself: Does this person exhibit fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23)? Are they committed to growing closer to God? Do they honor others and demonstrate integrity? These qualities matter far more than external appearances or temporary chemistry.
3. Set Boundaries and Standards Based on Scripture
As you wait for God’s leading, establish clear boundaries and non-negotiable standards rooted in Scripture. For example:
A shared faith in Christ (2 Corinthians 6:14)
A commitment to purity and holiness (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5)
Alignment in core values like family, finances, and ministry
Boundaries protect your heart and ensure you don’t settle for less than God’s best. Remember, compromise on foundational principles can lead to long-term struggles in marriage.
4. Involve Godly Counsel
Proverbs 11:14 states, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors, there is safety.” Surround yourself with trusted mentors, pastors, or spiritually mature friends who can provide objective insight into potential partners. They can help identify red flags you might overlook due to emotions or infatuation.
Additionally, observe how the person interacts with their family, friends, and community. Their behavior outside of your relationship reveals much about their true character.
5. Trust God’s Timing
Patience is key when deciding who your life partner is. It’s easy to feel pressured by cultural timelines or comparisons with others, but Ecclesiastes 3:1 assures us, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Rushing into a relationship without divine confirmation can lead to heartache, while waiting on God ensures alignment with His purpose.
While you wait, focus on becoming the kind of person you hope to marry. Use this season to deepen your relationship with God, serve others, and grow in wisdom and maturity.
Deciding who your life partner is isn’t just about choosing someone—it’s about allowing God to guide you to the right person at the right time. Keep Him at the forefront of your search, trusting that He knows what’s best for you. As you pray, seek wise counsel, and set godly standards, rest assured that He will lead you to a partner who complements your journey and shares your commitment to glorify Him.
Remember, marriage is not only a union between two people—it’s a covenant involving God Himself. Let your decision reflect reverence for His design and dependence on His direction. With faith and obedience, you’ll find the joy and fulfillment that come from partnering with both God and the person He has chosen for you.
Proverbs 19:14 concludes, “Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.” Trust that your life partner is a gift from Him—and trust in His perfect timing to bring it to pass.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and do you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. spread the word!
No one talks about how scary it is to fall out of love with someone you thought you’d love forever.
One minute, they’re your answered prayer; the next, you struggle to feel anything. You smile less and withdraw more. The connection that once lit up your world now feels like a flickering flame.
But before you make any rash decisions, pause. Love is a commitment, not an emotion. Feelings fade, but godly love doesn’t. The Bible says, “Love bears, believes, hopes, and endures all things. Love never fails…” (1 Corinthians 13:7–8). So the spark isn’t gone, maybe it’s just buried under disappointment, unmet expectations, or unspoken frustrations.
Falling out of love doesn’t always mean the relationship is over; sometimes, it’s time to rebuild.
Ask yourself:
Have we stopped communicating?
Have we stopped praying together?
Have we grown apart because we’ve stopped growing with God?
Many relationships drift because people stop being intentional. Love can’t thrive where neglect lives.
What if you’ve done all you can and the feeling is still gone? Then you need to be honest with yourself, with them, and with God. Staying in a relationship out of guilt, fear, or obligation is not God’s will. He wants you in a relationship that brings peace, not confusion. “God is not unjust; He will not forget your work and the love you have shown…” (Hebrews 6:10).
If you’re in this space where you’re no longer sure, don’t run, reflect. Also, don’t settle; seek clarity from the One who knows your heart even when you don’t. God is not afraid of your silence, confusion, or breaking point. He specializes in restoring what feels lost. However, He also gives you the grace to walk away when love is no longer aligned with His Will.
