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I want to talk about how crucial integrity is in marriage.
Faithfulness is so rare that even the writer of Proverbs attested to it by saying
Most men will proclaim every one his own goodness: but a faithful man who can find?
Pro 20:6 (KJV)
The Message Translation says:
Lots of people claim to be loyal and loving, but where on earth can you find one?
Every man must stand to tell God, “Here I am!” It is a personal decision to be brutally honest. It will not come easy, but it is what God expects from us.
Your ability to be faithful, honest, open to your spouse is a quality that will advance your marriage in no small measure.
Another translation says:
Pro 20:6 (CEV)There are many who say, “You can trust me!” But can they be trusted?
Ask yourself that pertinent question:
Can I be trusted? Can my spouse trust me? Can I even trust myself?
These are questions that demand answers that should be given to your God.
Before Jacob could be blessed, he was confronted. He decided to own up and be responsible for his nomenclature. It was only after proclaiming who he was that God could bless him.
Your identity has to be confronted by you and with relevant changes made accordingly. This is what growing is. This is what maturity is.
I pray today as you commit to integrity and honesty that God will grant you grace to be a brutally honest person to God, to yourself and to your spouse.
Why don’t you start by having a long discussion with God and then with your spouse, bringing every hidden things into open.
Good morning!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I attract a man/woman of integrity.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Ask that the Holy Spirit reveals the intent of the heart of your lover
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 20:6 (KJV)Most men will proclaim every one his own goodness: but a faithful man who can find?
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Ask your lover direct questions.
It’s beautiful seeing newly wedded couples. The love spark is amazing.
There is love wave, love current and all the love vibes around them. They set out professing their eternal love for each other.
They are deeply in love and could never imagine hurting each other not to talk of harming themselves whether emotionally or verbally.
The question is what happened? At what point did they start to deviate from the zone?
Really, no husband or wife starts out over night from being loving to being rash, unkind, abusive and insensitive.
There must have been little actions or in-actions here and there, that crept into their affair.
The Bible talks about little foxes that destroy the vine, the tender vine.
Our marriages are like these vines that are very tender. Little foxes are like poisons slowly released that will eventually destroy the marriage. We therefore, need to place close attention so that we don’t allow these foxes.
Here are three things not to do if you want to keep love alive in marriage.
1. Don’t blame
‘It’s his fault’ ‘She very disrespectful’ ‘He’s not kind and loving’ She’s lazy and overly sensitive’ ‘He’s always hurting’
Stop the blame game. You have a choice, either you keep blaming and remain hurt, bitter and full of regret and revengeful.
When you keep on blaming the other person you focus on their negatives.
You become blind to their positive sides and you put him/ her on edge.
Remember, when you were in love, it was because you were blind to their negatives and only focused on how good, handsome & lovely they were.
Do the same now. Blaming your spouse continuously is poisonous.
I am not asking you to keep completely silent on your spouse’s weakness but rather confront each other respectfully and lovingly.
Remember you have your own faults too. Forgiveness and mercy is reciprocal in marriage.
CONFESSION FOR TODAY Love is kept alive in my marriage.
PRAYER FOR TODAY Help me to love my spouse unconditionally.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY Song of Solomon 2:15 (KJV) Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines: for our vines have tender grapes.
Therefore shall a man LEAVE his father and his mother, and shall CLEAVE unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Gen 2:24 (KJV)
The word “Leave” means to loosen, relinquish, permit, and forsake It is a total departure. But it is never a disconnection.
The man has to do the leaving. Without leaving, there will never be a successful marriage. All undue interference and control from the parents must be minimized.
The word “Cleave” means cling or adhere; to catch by pursuit: – abide, follow close (hard, after), be joined (together), and pursue hard
Allegiance must shift from parents to your wife. This is what marriage is.
Your wife comes first from the wedding day. Your spouse becomes your priority. Your mum is another man’s wife, not your wife. Your own wife must be your priority.
Cleaving means to catch by pursuit, so you never stop pursuing your wife. You keep at it, even after the wedding. In the pursuit lies the cleaving. The man is to cleave unto HIS OWN wife! An attempt to cleave to another man’s wife will usher in a marital crisis.
It also means to follow close. Be joined and connected to her emotionally and otherwise.
When things seem not to be going right, you don’t quit. This is what it means to cleave. You don’t pack your stuff and start singing songs of divorce when there is a little provocation.
This is what cleaving is. It is just like your relationship with God. You are to cleave unto Him and not try to leave when things seem not to be going your own way. Leaving God and refusing to cleave will complicate issues, and that is the same thing in marriage.
You are to cleave for life! Any attempt to leave is a tearing part that would be painful.
Stay with each other no matter what. Cleaving means that you are dedicated to each other. It means sharing with each other on the deepest level. It means enjoying each other and supplying warmth for yourselves.
Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?
Ecc 4:11 (KJV)
I pray that God will grant understanding. Your marriage will not suffer a crisis. Your marriage will not lose that godly steam. I pray that God will pour new wine into your marriage and cause the love between you to come alive!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I choose to cleave to my spouse only
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Help me to cleave oh Lord.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gen 2:24 [MSG]Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh.
1. Don’t ignore her needs When you ignore the most importantneeds of your wife over and over again, she is going to get hurt and eventually feel that you never loved her.
This feeling can degenerate to a point where she comes up with an emotional defense, and the peak of that is closing her spirit.
You see, in loving your wife, you have to do so in God’s term and her own terms and not in your own terms. This is basically because the needs of a man are miles apart from that of a woman.
So, in meeting her needs, it is often easy to interpret her needs based on your own, but it is not often so. Priorities are at variance, especially at emotional levels.
Let her communicate her needs to you, you will be amazed that what is important to her is non-issue to you!
And so, the challenge is to focus on what is insignificant to you but is a big issue for her. That is selflessness!
Her greatest needs are always towards attention and quality time!
2. Don’t make her feel stupid and dumb When you are always insinuating that your wife is dumb and stupid, she will get hurt.
Sometimes you don’t say it, but it shows in your body language and the way you dismiss whatever she tries to suggest.
Sometimes, a husband doesn’t even want to hear her opinion. She is to be seen and not heard. That is never the plan of God for marriage. The reality is that she is your helper. Her “dumb” or “stupid” suggestions would have saved you a lot only if you had listen.
You see, she may not be logical, but she is intuitive.
You know the man you want to go into business partnership with because he has all it takes, but she will tell you by reason of intuition that the man will mess things up. She has no evidence, not precedence, but she has intuition!
Don’t ignore that intuition!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse on God’s terms and theirs.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will teach you how to love your spouse.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Cor 13:7 [CEV] Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Carry out the above tests on your potential partner
Do you know that some of the greatest puzzles and enigma in your heart can be dissolved by God’s word? Do you know some of the hidden things that seemed oblivious and far-fetched can be unraveled and brought to the fore by God’s word?
All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.
(John 1:3 KJV)
Here are some things that God’s word will do for you.
1. God’s word will clean up your past It doesn’t matter what your past looked like, the word of God, anointed in and of itself will wipe the slate clean for you! It is almost unbelievable and incredible to the human mind, but in one stroke of sacrifice, Jesus paid the price on your behalf.
The past should never hold you to ransom again. You have been made free. The mistakes of yester-years can no longer bear their fangs at you today!
2. God’s word will birth hope for your future After your past is forgiven and forgotten, the same word of God will birth hope in you. This hope is a necessary ingredient to help you receive the fullness of God. All of a sudden, light dawns on your heart and hope comes alive, that it is not over, after all.
3. God’s word will produce faith in your heart to conquer the world. Faith comes by hearing God’s word. As you hear and read more of God’s word, faith will rise in you. Why is faith so important? It is with faith that you will get victory in God!
Every God–begotten person conquers the world’s ways. The conquering power that brings the world to its knees is our faith.
(1 John 5:4 MSG)
Did you see that? Faith that comes through God’s word has the power to bring the world and its systems to its knees! Glory to God!
4. God’s word will become light and direction to help you choose as a single There is rigor in direction. Life is about decisions, but that is not all to it, the good life is about making the right decisions. The frailty of our human nature is overcome when we rely on God to lead us in our choice of marriage partner.
‘The Lord is my shepherd’ becomes a living story of our life when we embrace His word.
5. God’s word will bring stability to your relationship and marriage. As you put God’s word in your heart, it will help your discernment in knowing the right people and the wrong ones. In a relationship, you need stability. You need God’s help to have a successful marriage.
You need wisdom from above that will not make your marriage follow the usual pattern of separations and divorce.
And wisdom and knowledge shall be the stability of thy times, and strength of salvation: the fear of the Lord is his treasure.
(Isaiah 33:6 KJV)
You will make it in Jesus name, amen.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY The word is my guide. I will not stumble.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray for the diligence to study the word.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY John 1:1 [AMP]IN THE beginning [before all time] was the Word (Christ), and the Word was with God, and the Word was GodHimself.
Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
Pro 14:1 (KJV)
Women are just simply powerful. And that is how God created them. This is why they are also called helpers. And the only other person that was referred to as helper in the entirety of the New Testament is the Holy Spirit.
Every other time, you will hear about the prayers of mothers. Hardly will you hear people talk about the prayers of their fathers. That tells you there is something about women.
Dear wife, there is a lot of power and accompanying responsibilities that lie with you. Your decisions, prayers, and actions will eventually build your home or tear it down, therefore, you cannot afford to be foolish. Be wise and cooperate with what God is trying to do in your life.
How do you do this?
Avoid all the strife, bickering, quarrels, and the like for that is how a foolish woman tears down her home. Avoid emotional affairs. They are distractions.
Now, since it is the woman building the house, what then is the responsibility of the man?
Build the woman!
That is what the man should do. Build the woman.
Dear men, build your wife so that your wife can build the house.
Invest in your wife. Support her endeavors and career. Be interested in her passion and you know what, she will give it all it takes to pray for the family.
May your marriage be blessed.
CONFESSION FOR TODAY I chose to honor my spouse.
PRAYER FOR TODAY Pray for your wife.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY Pro 14:1 (KJV)Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
1. The verbal expression of your love to your wife
This may sound insignificant to men, but I can tell you it is a big issue for women.
Saying the words “I love you” could be the solution to the crisis rocking your home. She wants to hear it from you as often as possible.
As a lady, she will definitely get compliments from outside. The problem begins when the compliments she is getting from outside outweigh the ones her husband is giving her at home.
Women go through a lot and struggle so much with their emotions, that is why they always carry a mirror everywhere they go.
As a man, learn to affirm your wife as often as possible. It will go a long way to make her feel loved.
2. The regular attendance of same church
The bible encourages us not to forsake the gathering of the brethren.
As a man, take the lead and find a bible believing church to attend.
It is important for you and your wife to be hearing the same thing. Attending different churches when you both are in the same location is a no-no for me.
Grow together.
Study together.
Pray together.
It will strengthen the marriage.
3. The refusal to assault your wife
Resist the urge to hit your wife. Never do it, for whatever reason.
That is what separates the men from the boys
Yes, she can be disrespectful, stubborn, arrogant, or whatever.
Hitting her will not be the way out.
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
1Pe 3:7 (KJV)
Make up your mind never to physically assault her.
Decide to honor her, protect her and take care of her.
That is how to be a man.
May God bless your union.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I walk in love towards my spouse.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that the love of God fills your heart.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:7 (KJV) Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
In marriage, it is our money! Marriage fuses two individuals together, and they are no longer two but one!
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Mat 19:6 (KJV)
The Passion Translation puts it this way:
From then on, they are no longer two, but united as one. So what God unites let no one divide!”
Mat 19:6 (TPT)
There is nothing like “My money!”
Marriage wedges two destinies together, wherein you are naked and not ashamed.
In marriage covenant as ordained by God, there should be no secrets, no coded businesses or relationships, no hidden agendas, no side relationships, and so on.
Life has to be lived like an open book, the moment there are things you shield from your spouse, some form of compromise is already knocking.
As husband and wife, decide jointly on how money should be budgeted and administered.
This agreement means you are not putting your spouse in the dark as regards financial matters. There should be proper communications and involvement in all financial decisions. This will create a sense of belonging and it will be difficult for the devil to bring in assumptions and create confusion for the family.
You see, assumptions are the lowest forms of knowledge. They are mostly wrong. You need then to ensure there is proper communication so as not to render your spouse vulnerable to assumptions.
Don’t yield to that suggestion from the devil to hide any information as regards money to your spouse. Each time your spouse discovers you are hiding from him, trust will be broken and once trust is broken, it impacts a lot on the marriage.
I pray God will grant your more understanding.
Good morning!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I cooperate with my spouse to move our marriage forward.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray against the works of the devil in your family.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mat 19:6 (KJV)Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Gossip is dangerous! If gossip can tear apart a whole church, then think of what it can do for a marriage.
As couples who are children of God, it is good to make an early decision that gossip will not be allowed in your family, either from friends who have itchy mouths or between yourselves as couples.
Here are few reasons why gossip is dangerous.
1. It is a wound
The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.
Pro 18:8 (KJV)
Gossip permanently blemishes our view of the person being discussed. It births wrong thoughts about that person. Once that picture gets into our minds, it’s very hard to erase it.
2. You will be judged.
For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.
Mat 12:37 (KJV)
Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation.”
Mat 12:37 (MSG)
As a result of the above, you really want to be careful about the words you say!
3. It is destructive and can cause its victim to be suicidal
but the tongue is not able to be tamed. It’s a fickle, unrestrained evil that spews out words full of toxic poison!
Jas 3:8 (TPT)
Gossip is a wildfire gone out of control. We try to put it out. We try to control it. But the gossiper keeps pouring gas on the fire. Gossip takes on a life of its own. The story grows and changes. The story even grows within the mind of the gossiper.
4. Gossip is the language of those who have rejected Christ This can be seen in the fowling scriptures:
And because they thought it was worthless to embrace the true knowledge of God, God gave them over to a worthless mind-set, to break all rules of proper conduct. Their sinful lives became full of every kind of evil, wicked schemes, greed, and cruelty. Their hearts overflowed with jealous cravings, and with conflict and strife, which drove them into hateful arguments and murder. They are deceitful liars full of hostility. THEY ARE GOSSIPS who love to spread malicious slander. With inflated egos they hurl hateful insults at God, yet they are nothing more than arrogant boasters. They are rebels against their parents and totally immoral.
Rom 1:28-30 (TPT)
God bless you. Have a great day!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse to be a gossip or busy body
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for the grace to focus on your spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Prov 26:20 [MSG] When you run out of wood, the fire goes out; when the gossip ends, the quarrel dies down
The phrase ‘pray for your husband’ is not a cliché. It is something you should do as a matter of responsibility. This is because the man, who is the head of the home, is saddled with the responsibility of taking certain decisions from time to time. A wrong decision can put the family ten years behind. Conversely, the right decision can propel the family.
One major area you should focus your prayer on is those surrounding your husband. You see, a man doesn’t just cheat on his wife. Someone close to him must have suggested it to him. A man doesn’t wake up from sleep one morning and begins to beat up his wife. Somebody somewhere around him must have suggested it to him.
It’s good to pray for the business of your husband. How about his friends, business partners? How about those with which he sits on a daily basis to make decisions?
Let’s see a story from the bible.
The king threw a party, and being in high spirits, wanted to show forth his wife’s beauty to all and sundry.
On the seventh day, when the heart of the king was glad with wine, he gave orders to Mehuman, Biztha, Harbona, Bigtha, and Abagtha, Zethar, and Carcas, the seven unsexed servants who were waiting before Ahasuerus the king, That Vashti the queen was to come before him, crowned with her crown, and let the people and the captains see her: for she was very beautiful. But when the servants gave her the king’s order, Vashti the queen said she would not come: then the king was very angry, and his heart was burning with wrath.
Est 1:10-12 [BBE]
The king was very angry, and the next thing he did was consult those who were closest to him.
And the king said to the wise men, who had knowledge of the times,… What is to be done by law to Vashti the queen, because she has not done what King Ahasuerus, by his servants, gave her orders to do?
Est 1:13a,15 [BBE]
Are you trying to tell me the king did not know what was to be done by law? No, he knew exactly what to do. He only needed the input of the wise men who were probably his cabinet members.
If they had advised the king otherwise, he would have done their bidding.
It’s beautiful when you pray for your husband, but don’t stop there. Pray for those surrounding him, so that one day, they won’t advise him to make a decision that will affect you negatively.
“So if it pleases the king, here is a suggestion: Let the king give a royal command and let it be written in the laws of Persia and Media. The laws of Persia and Media cannot be changed. The royal command should be that Vashti is never again to enter the presence of King Xerxes. Let the king also give her royal position to someone else who is better than she is.
Est 1:19 [ERV]
May your royal position not be given to someone else!
Shalom!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will go the extra mile in praying for my husband.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask God to surround your husband with the right people.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Est 1:19 [CEV]Your Majesty, if you agree, you should write for the Medes and Persians a law that can never be changed. This law would keep Queen Vashti from ever seeing you again. Then you could let someone who respects you be queen in her place.
How do you know a potential spouse that will be unfaithful when you are not married yet? There are tell-tale signs. When you double date, you are simply in a rehearsal for adultery. Simple!
Why is this so? You see, it takes the same heart! The heart that can accommodate and justify double dating will also glide into the dangerous terrain of adultery and extra-marital affairs effortlessly!
Adultery is a killer. It looks sweet initially, but the consequences are undesirable.
Now, let’s look at some scriptures in the book of Proverbs.
When Solomon starts talking to you about adultery, you had better listen. He had it all and you will never be able to break his record! He had so many women in his harem that he must have used tallies or numbers to identify them.
Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.
Pro 9:17 KJV
Adultery seems sweet, but what happens afterwards?
Bread of deceit is sweet to a man; but afterwards his mouth shall be filled with gravel.
Pro 20:17 KJV
You sure don’t want to be served a plate of gravel for food, but that is what a lot of people are cooking for lunch and dinner!
Unfaithfulness in your marriage will also reduce you. It will reduce you to what can be swallowed by the devil. See it here:
For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life.
Pro 6:26 KJV
God frowns at adulterous relationships! It is also a stupid sin because the consequences are staring you on your face and you still go ahead. You know it is wrong, yet like the proverbial dog which refuses to heed the hunter’s whistle, you go ahead.
Your conscience pricks you, yet you refuse to unlock yourself from the embrace of the strange woman or the evil man as the scripture aptly puts it. It is simply a stupid sin. See it here:
But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.
Pro 6:32 KJV
See other translation:
Adultery is a brainless act, soul-destroying, self-destructive;
Pro 6:32 MSG
Let’s see one more translation
But whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks heart and understanding (moral principle and prudence); he who does it is destroying his own life.
Pro 6:32 AMP
What is my advice?
Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Pro 5:18 KJV
See it in the Amplified version.
Let your fountain [of human life] be blessed [with the rewards of fidelity], and rejoice in the wife of your youth.
Pro 5:18 AMP
What is God trying to say here? God is trying to identify one of the causes of adultery. What is that? NEGLECT! Don’t neglect your spouse in any way especially where your sexual life is concerned.
The greatest need of a man is jeru trip. The greatest need of a woman is communication and attention. Give this to each other and enjoy each other!
Protect each other by satisfying yourselves. Jeru trip is not a reward system neither is it a punishment tool! According to the amplified version above, when you satisfy yourselves as a married couple, you will be blessed with the rewards of fidelity.
May God grant us more understanding.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a wise spouse. I will not shoot myself in the leg.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray against the spirit of lust in your family.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 6:32-33 (CEV) But if you go to bed with another man’s wife, you will destroy yourself by your own stupidity. You will be beaten and forever disgraced.
Mrs Adet is almostalways sad. She is not a happy wife neither is she a happy woman. This is because she feels battered most of the time. Not physically, as a matter of fact, her husband has never lifted up his hands against her. But there is a much worse thing being lifted against her, it’s his tongue!
The scripture says
There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health.
Pro 12:18 (KJV)
Her husband is the sharp-mouthed man who speaks so bluntly without emotions or sentiments.
Over time, their marriage was unhealthy. They spoke back and forth to each other using toxic vocabularies.
Mr. Adet has to come into a place of learning how to talk properly to his wife before their marriage could be healed.
Every husband and wife alike must learn how to speak properly to their spouses.
Take a look at the scripture
The Lord GOD hath given me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary: he wakeneth morning by morning, he wakeneth mine ear to hear as the learned.
Isa 50:4 (KJV)
This is where every couple should be!
Use the tongue of the learned on one another and speak words that will strengthen and not weary.
This is what every couple should work towards.
Let’s take a look at another translation as we conclude this morning.
The Master, GOD, has given me a well-taught tongue, So I know how to encourage tired people. He wakes me up in the morning, wakes me up, opens my ears to listen as one ready to take orders.
Isa 50:4 (MSG)
Have a blessed day!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive the strength to speak rightly to my spouse.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for strength as couples
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Job 6:25 (KJV) How forcible are right words! but what doth your arguing reprove?
Ever wondered what your husband really wants from you as a wife? Sometimes, most wives are just oblivious of how to please their husbands. This feeling of being at a loss in your matrimonial home is not a pleasant one at all.
Every man expects his wife to respect him
As you might have discovered, respect is a very big issue for men. Every wife should show respect to her husband. The principle of sowing and reaping also comes into place here. As you honour your husband, he will honour you as well.
Every man expects his wife to be homely Caring comes naturally for women. If you, as a woman are not caring, your husband will not enjoy you. You should be able to take care of the home, make good meals, and look after the kids.
Every man expects his wife to pray for him always. Wives, pray for your husbands. Women are very powerful. A praying wife is a terror to the devil. If your wife prays for you genuinely, you will see the advancement it will bring to your life.
Every man expects his wife to look good all the time. Nobody wants his wife looking twice her age because men are moved by sight. I like her looking beautiful for me at all times. Wives, look your best for your husband. Do not get careless with your dressing. There are dangerous ladies dressing to “kill” out there. Be wise.
Every man expects his wife to support him My wife should be my number one fan. I expect her to support me and all I stand for. No husband can go far without a supportive wife.
Every man expects his wife to be active in bed You probably thought I wouldn’t add that. This is important to men. If you want to keep your marriage standing, keep the bedroom hot! It should not be used as a reward or punishment.
Do not refuse and deprive and defraud each other [ of your due marital rights ], except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, so that you may devote yourselves unhindered to prayer. But afterwards resume marital relations, lest Satan tempt you [ to sin ] through your lack of restraint of sexual desire.
How much shouldhusbands and wives love themselves? They should be intoxicated with one another! That is how much!
We see this right in the scripture.
Son 1:2 (KJV) Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.
Take a look at the Message Translation:
Son 1:2 (GW) [Bride] Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth. Your expressions of love are better than wine,
Love is to be expressed. And these expressions or actions are compared with wine and even much better.
What does wine do?
It gets you high and intoxicated, makes you feel happy and animated.
Here, the writer says, the expressions of your love is much better than wine.
As husbands and wives, you are to be intoxicated with each other. You should look forward to one another. You should constantly pray for one another from a genuine heart!
And you know what, you can only do this by focusing on each other.
Do not allow anybody to come in between the two of you. Do not allow a third party to sow any seed of discord into your love. Get drunk of each other.
The ploy of the devil is to cause irritations, quarrels, misunderstandings, animosity and the like. You must be sensitive to avoid all these in your marriage so that your marriage will not be hindered in any way.
Let God’s love rule in your marriage, and this will in turn regulate your actions and reactions and bring out the best in your marital relationship.
Demonstrate your love for one another through expression of kisses. Don’t let the wedding kiss be the last memory of a good kiss!
Get drunk with Holy Spirit, and get drunk with one another.
May God grant you more understanding in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse and I focus on him/her
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for the grace to focus on your spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Song of Solomon 1:2 (KJV) Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Give your spouse a good kiss
Women occupy a major part in the plan of God, in the life of a man and in the society in general. Her role and importance cannot be over-emphasized as this is exemplified in her capacity to cause procreation to become a reality. She is the woman, the man with a womb, The womb-man!
She is the help-meet! The helper for the man. Isn’t it interesting that she and the Holy Spirit are the ones referred to as helpers throughout the scripture?
You grieve the Holy Spirit, your prayers can be hindered. You grieve your wife, your prayers can be hindered as well.
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; THAT YOUR PRAYERS BE NOT HINDERED.
1Pe 3:7 (KJV)
But that is not my emphasis this morning.
I want you to look at a scripture addressed to women here:
…To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Tit 2:5 (KJV)
The scripture is saying as a wife, if you are not discreet, if you are not chaste, if you are not keepers at home, if you are not good, if you are not obedient to your husband, God’s word CAN BE BLASPHEMED!
That is serious!
Consider that Scripture in other translations for more clarity:
…be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don’t want ANYONE LOOKING DOWN ON GOD’S MESSAGE BECAUSE OF THEIR BEHAVIOR.
Tit 2:5 (MSG)
…and to be self-controlled and pure, taking care of their household and being devoted to their husbands. By doing these things the word of God WILL NOT BE DISCREDITED.
Tit 2:5 (TPT)
The word of God must not be looked down on!
The word of God must not be discredited!
Go ahead and meditate on that verse and apply it to your life while looking at areas you need to make adjustments!
God bless you!
Good morning!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not grief my spouse.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that you will not grief your wife
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Titus 2:5[ESV]to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
She is simply vivacious! Her smile makesmy blood run! Mr. Bode thought as he reminiscence on the joy that his wife has been in his life. Her electric smile, accentuated by well-placed dimples, could melt any heart as she reveals a beautiful gap in between a well-set of teeth.
She is simply a beauty to behold and she brings beauty into anybody she comes in contact with as well. Getting married to such beauty was a dream come true for Mr. Bode!
He reciprocated this affection and love through a lot of things, including writing her poems regularly, buying her flowers, and taking her out to her favorite Chinese Restaurant!
He just loved it as the smile would light up on her face, and her smiles seem to bring him smiles!
But today is far from what it was. The smile was gone. The dimples have been leveled. He is not sure whether the gap in the teeth has been blocked.
As Mr. Bode sat before the counselor in total frustration and having explained what it used to be, the counselor asked him a few questions.
“When was the last time you wrote her a poem?” Mr. Bode looked into the empty air. Obviously, the poet in him has died!
When was the last time you bought her flowers? Again, the answer never came. Flowers are no longer growing.
When was the last time you took her out? Again, he just stared. Restaurants have all closed down. Not even a Kung-Fu Restaurant!
The words of the counselor hit him like a sledgehammer!
“You stopped doing what you used to do, so she stopped being who she used to be!
The truth hit home hard. He stood up, and left, thanking the counselor and resolving to make amends.
Good morning!
God bless you!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will do all I can to make my spouse happy
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask the Lord to help you see where you need to make amends.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Song of Solomon 1:2 (KJV) “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.”
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Go back to doing what you used to do.
Son 2:15 Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines: for our vines have tender grapes.
I want us to noticethree things from the above scripture.
Take these little foxes.
The foxes are little, insignificant issues.
Our vines, (marriage) have tender grapes.
When we run marriage with godly principles, it has the potential to yield great results.
I want us to note here that godly principles are not necessarily logical.
Below are some logical reasons why either the wife or husband leave their matrimonial bed
My husband or wife snores and sleeps roughly. I can’t cope with not having a good night’s rest.
My wife just put to bed. She needs enough space to nurse our baby.
I need my privacy, so let’s have separate rooms.
I need to teach my wife or husband a lesson, as we have not been on talking terms for a while.
My wife is currently on her monthly period. I will be back when she is done.
However, God’s principles knock out every form of logic you might be thinking of.
Once married, you are now one flesh. Leaving your flesh in one room is not part of the deal. Learn to accept the one you married, for love is patient.
Do not abandon raising your kids to your wife alone. Be with her, especially at night.
You won’t get any privacy by leaving your spouse in one room and going to another. God frowns at such acts.
No matter what issues you have, you deal with them by talking. Staying in separate rooms will only make you go apart.
Having her monthly period is normal. You knew this before marrying her, so stay with her. If you can’t stay with her for 5 days in a month, then you can’t stay with her for life.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not let insignificant issues ruin my marriage
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray for your spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Songs of Solomon 2:15 (TPT) You must catch the troubling foxes, those sly little foxes that hinder our relationship. For they raid our budding vineyard of love to ruin what I’ve planted within you. Will you catch them and remove them for me? We will do it together.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Meditate on Songs of Solomon 2:15 using different translations
1. The Conscious Expression of Love This is a big issue for women. Saying the words “I love you” genuinely could be the solution to the crisis rocking your home. She wants to hear it from you as often as possible.
As a lady, she will definitely get compliments from outside. The problem begins when the compliments she is getting from outside outweigh the ones her husband is giving her at home.
Women go through a lot and struggle so much with their emotions, that is why they always carry a mirror everywhere they go.
As a man, learn to affirm your wife as often as possible. It will go a long way to make her feel loved.
2. The Practice of attending church together The bible encourages us not to forsake the gathering of the brethren.
As a man, take the lead and find a bible believing church to attend. It is important for you and your wife to be hearing the same thing.
Attending different churches when you both are in the same location is a no-no for me.
Grow together. Study together. Pray together. It will strengthen the marriage.
3. The deliberateness of not hitting your wife Resist the urge to hit your wife. Never do it, for whatever reason. That is what separates the men from the boys
Yes, she can be disrespectful, stubborn, arrogant, or whatever. Hitting her will not be the way out.
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
1Pe 3:7 (KJV)
Make up your mind never to physically assault her. Decide to honor her, protect her and take care of her. That is how to be a man.
May God bless your union.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love and honour my spouse.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray for a patient spirit.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:7 (KJV) Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
I want to sharewith you this morning a few things I have learnt over time. I want to identify three out of many practices that you should avoid in your marriage. Avoiding them is tactically avoiding unnecessary headaches. May God continue to give is His wisdom.
1. Avoid reporting your spouse to your in-laws or parents or any other third party aside from your mentors/pastors. From counseling experiences, it usually backfires and sets the family more into crisis than bring them out of it. Once the husband realizes he is no longer in charge of his family, he is going to get really defensive. Once the wife sees that her husband takes instruction from his parents while leaving her out, she is going to react.
Reporting to parents or in-laws? It will not end well. It will always not work out. It’s natural for parents to be sentimental to their children. There will be bias and emotions will flare.
Most of the time, you report to them when there are issues but forget to call them back when you settle the issues, so they keep making up their mind.
If the parents are the only persons on earth your spouse listens to, that is when you may involve them. If otherwise, do not do it.
2. Do not report your spouse to your colleagues or boss. The devil is so smart, looking for avenues to deal with you. If you report your spouse to your colleague or boss, the devil can capitalize on it and set you up for an emotional affair.
An emotional affair is just a few strokes away from adultery. You really do not want to thread that path
3. Do not manipulate your spouse emotionally This will affect your prayer life. Once your spouse says or does something that does not resonate with you, you simply withdraw and give an attitude. It’s called silent treatment and it’s not cool in all its shades. That is not the way to grow. Avoid every form of manipulation.
Stay together, pray together.
May God bless your marriage!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am wise. I deal with my spouse according to knowledge
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me the needed wisdom to handle my home
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Pet 3:7 (NLT)In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Look out for the word ‘honor’ in your relationship
Wow, it’s twenty-five million Naira to be won. Which Couple Wants To Be A Millionaire? The couples’ meeting got to an interesting part all have been waiting for! 25 Million grand! It can buy a few cars or build a bungalow!
Every couple present looked out to winning the star prize that night. The moderator’s voice boomed out of the sound system as he announced what it takes to win the money!
Couples could be seen whispering to each other, full of excitement and joy that is welling up from within. Who doesn’t want that kind of money!
Some even went spiritual and began to pray and claim the money. Some began to remind God how they have been faithful with their tithe and how God should not disappoint them. A particular man brought out his rosary and fingered it.
A lady in waiting came out with a bowl that was covered. The moderator pointed to the bowl and said whoever is able to eat and chew what’s in the bowl will win the grand prize. Which Couple Wants To Be A Millionaire?
Some couples rushed to the stage. As one man ran upstage, his wife was screaming Foodie! Foodie! Foodie!
Finally, the bowl was uncovered and it was about twelve pieces of…wait for it… gravel!
What? One by one, they returned to their seat, wondering how the organizers can be so callous. Who is going to eat gravel? And chew it? Nobody volunteered. Nobody wanted 25 Million Grand again.
On the projector screen, they rolled just two scriptures and the lesson hit home and hard.
The lips of a seductive woman are oh so sweet, her soft words are oh so smooth. [4] But it won’t be long before she’s GRAVEL IN YOUR MOUTH, a pain in your gut, a wound in your heart.
Pro 5:3-4 (MSG)
Stolen bread tastes sweet, but soon your mouth is full OF GRAVEL.
Pro 20:17 (MSG)
Adultery is a no go area. It’s like eating gravel. No need to preach. They shared the grace and announced the next date of Couples Meeting.
Everybody went home.
As you read, go home too; the home inside you and check. Check what you are eating that you might not be able to chew or digest.
I rest my case.
Have a great day!
CONFESSION FOR TODAY I will not cheat on my spouse.
PRAYER FOR TODAY Ask for grace to focus on your spouse
THOUGHT FOR TODAY Prov 20:17 (TLB)Some men enjoy cheating, but the cake they buy with such ill-gotten gain will turn to gravel in their mouths.
