Have you ever been unresponsive to your husband’s playful advances? I have been several times. That was before I learned that part of my role as a wife is to be responsive to him and to be his playmate every time and any time.
Do I respond every time? No. I still consider my husband playful and don’t join, thankfully we have three boys who can play with him.
My husband sometimes considers me as being too serious. I never grew up with a sanguine in the house so having fun was not a regular thing. We were quiet in our family and our idea of fun was little laughter here and there.
My husband is not so much of a Sanguine but his Choleric tendencies have made him an extrovert at least to me. He seems quiet when he wants to but when he is in his rhyme, he really wants to talk and play.
Sometimes he wants to play, sing *winks*, be funny, talks, disturb me and all the rest. He is just full of energy and he wants to release some.
The one thing that men don’t leave behind from being boys is playing and having fun. They love to have fun and as their wives, you have to learn to have fun with them.
You may be pushing your husband out to look for a playmate. You must learn to be jovial. Be responsive to his jokes. Laugh with him. Laugh at him. Your role as his wife is not to stop him from playing, it is to play with him.
Don’t stop him from watching his football games or any other games, join him in. Don’t be too busy for him. I know you have a lot to do especially when you don’t have help. The idea is to let your husband occupy the first place and every other thing will find its place.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am my husband’s playmate
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Help me Lord to cast my care upon you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:23 (KJV) For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be responsive to your husband’s play and jokes.
Well, we have finally come to the end of our series on handling stress in marriage.
In our final series, I will be talking about
Ungratefulness
The whole bible is from the old testament to the new testament has several instances where gratitude, Thanksgiving, the gratefulness of heart is encouraged and even commanded.
The human heart has the capacity to be ungrateful and to forget where we were and where we were coming from. Once we get relieved, we are quick to forget the hands that held us up.
Now, I would like to write today about gratitude to God and gratitude to those who were there for us and how it helps in handling stress in marriage.
If we don’t learn to show appreciation and train ourselves to be thoughtful enough to show gratitude, we will stress our partners.
No matter how difficult your spouse is, we can still choose to be grateful to God for them. Someone said, don’t complain you have an headache, thank God that you even have a head.
How true this is. On matter our condition, the place of praise and thanksgiving will still remain intact. We may however, choose not to see it or cease the opportunity to be grateful.
Let check out few places in the bible we were admonished to live a thankful life.
Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise his name. Psalms 100:4 NLT
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Philippians 4:6 NLT
And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Ephesians 5:20 NLT
And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Colossians 3:15 NLT
We are encouraged in scriptures to show gratitude to God in everything and at all times.
If you think, you will be able to thank. If you think that you didn’t create yourself, you can’t sustain yourself, the breadth that you breadth you didn’t provide it for yourself, the hair on your head, you didn’t put it there, that you go to work and come back meeting everything intact is because God is a merciful God.
So when you think of all the goodness of the Lord you should return gratitude to Him.
If you are grateful for the many things God has done for you, it will also flow also in gratitude to others. It is the same heart it takes to be grateful to God that it takes to be grateful to others.
A spouse who is always complaining and has an entitlement mentality is a pain in the neck.
When a couple learn to appreciate each other in little things and show gratitude for efforts and every little attempt to improve, there will be bliss.
It takes a heart of understanding to give thanks. Someone said when you are thankful your tank will be full. This is the one of the best things to do when handling stress.
Everything dries up in an atmosphere of complaint.
Don’t put the strain on your marriage rather put the strain off your marriage.
I hope we have learnt one or two things from our series.
Your marriage is a living entity, and as such you don’t want to do things that will quench the fire of passion.
I pray if any marriage is being besiege by stress or its effect, God will cause peace to reign in Jesus name
I will continue from where I stopped yesterday. We have been looking at different types of stressors and how we can avoid them. How these stressors cause stress and strain in our relationship with our spouse.
We looked yesterday at how unforgiveness can be a sources of unhappiness in marriage. It can cause a lot of tension between couples.
Today, we are moving on to
8. Not being open and transparent.
Marriage is translated H.O.T, honest, open and transparent. Husband and wife should be naked and not ashamed.
And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
Genesis 2:25 KJV There should be no shame whatsoever between husband and wife. If both understand their position in covenant and how God sees them.
There should be zero inhibitions. We should be 100%/vulnerable to each other
It is very stressful when as husband and wife you censor what you have to say, walk as though on an egg shelf, hide, be secretive, tell packaged truth, sometimes tell little lies, structured lies, and all manner and shades of lies.
It is frustrating to have a spouse who is always suspecting you.
I want us to know that the devil is at the root of every kind of suspicion. If this is happening in our marriage, God will grant us victory and every storm will cease in Jesus name.
The devil hates marriage and unity between husbands and wives. This kind of stress can cause strain on the marital union. It could be handled by both husband and wife working together correcting their wrongs and trusting God for the covenant of oneness to be appropriated in their lives and marriage.
9. Unrealistic expectations.
These are the things we expect from our spouse which cut across as being over the board or giving the present situation may be difficult to meet.
Our spouse should try and they are under obligations to meet our needs. But there are some needs that are not humanly possible.
This usually happens when either of the spouses is selfish and inconsiderate. If for example the husband or the wife already has a particular mould he/she wants for his spouse and then try to force the spouse into that mould. That will be an unrealistic expectation.
This is capable of causing frustration. I will stop here today and continue tomorrow on these stressors by God’s grace.
May God grant us the spirit of forgiveness to all that has offended us in Jesus name.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a wise spouse. I know how to relate with people.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, give me wisdom
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
We are continuing on our series, how married couples should handle stress in their marriage. We are looking at different stressors, especially those that are self-induced, and how to handle them.
We have looked at the following:
1. Financial pressure
2. Dealing with in-laws
3. Comparison traps
4. Doing beyond ourselves
5. Not minding our own business
6. Not being able to say No.
And today,
7. Being unforgiving to our spouse.
One of the most important ingredients in having a happy marriage is when couples forgive each other quickly.
The bible is so clear on the issue of forgiveness and also tells us he dangers of unforgiveness.
Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32 NLT
Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Colossians 3:13 NLT
When you release an offence you open the prison doors. Unforgiveness puts us in a prison that puts stress in our marriages
To err is human and to forgive is divine. When we forgive our spouse, we invite divinity and all that heaven has to offer. We invite peace, joy, and prosperity.
When we allow unforgiveness, no matter how grievous the offense, we give place to the devil and all that is associated to him.
If anyone is walking in unforgiveness, I urge us to please forgive. Let go and let God. God is not just asking us to close our eyes to the offense, he is asking us to give Him the pain and hurt of the offenses
He says vengeance belongs to Him.
Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Romans 12:19 KJV
God wants to work our vengeance for us in a most beautiful way. He want to compensate us. Most of the time when we avenge ourselves, we don’t compensate the hurt. That’s what God wants to do.
The issue of forgiveness is so big that we can either ruin our lives and lives of our children by not forgiving our spouse.
Families that were once cordial have been separated by the spirit of unforgiveness. Couples who were once loving have been set apart through unforgiveness. Children have become victims of their parent’s unforgiveness.
I understand that it is very tough when your spouse does such grievous and demeaning things. Yet we must let God be true and every man a liar.
Forgive and see the unbelievable release of God’s power towards your marriage. It is almost like magic. It is a miracle.
God comes to defend you in ways you could never have imagined. Favor works for you, you enjoy peace, health, prosperity and the likes.
I will stop here today and continue on this topic of handling stress in marriage tomorrow by God’s grace.
May God grant us the spirit of forgiveness to all that has offended us in Jesus name.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a wise spouse. I know how to relate to people.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, give me wisdom
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
We are still continuing our series, how couples can handle stress in marriage. We have looked at different stressors and if handled well will never be a source of strain on our marital union.
Today, I will be addressing the issue of:
5. Not minding our business.
As easy as this may be for some of us by virtue of our background. It’s so difficult for some of us to simply mind our business.
It is interesting to know that every way we should live our lives as Christian couples is already addressed on the bible, either directly or indirectly.
The bible didn’t mince words when it told us not to be busybodies but to mind our own business.
Yet we hear that some of you are living idle lives, refusing to work and meddling in other people’s business. We command such people and urge them in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and work to earn their own living. 2 Thessalonians 3:11 – 12 NLT
For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies. 2 Thessalonians 3:11 KJV
And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not. 1 Timothy 5:13
But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men’s matters. 1 Peter 4:15 KJV
From the above scriptures, we can infer that those who are busybodies are idle not being productive with their time and that there is suffering meant for whoever practices being a busy body.
As a married person, you should have enough on your plate. Bills to pay, children to look after, spouse to take care of, a home to tend, prayers for your destiny to pray, self-development, business to start or improve, etc.
As couples, you should have enough to keep you busy. Just find work for yourself. An idle hand is the devils workshop.
It’s when you are not minding your business that you begin to give unsolicited advice, visit places you are not celebrated or wanted, gossip, and eventually bring undue curses over your life.
You leave your own issue and begin to dance around other people’s issues. You dissipate your energy, strength, and your focus. You become distracted with other people’s matters that you are not graced to solve.
You even become a judge over other peoples affairs that is none of your business.
You leave your home, children and spouse exposed while you busy yourself with issues that don’t concern you.
Desist from doing this and you will be focused on the home and marriage God has given you. You will also have greatly minimize stress in marriage.
6. Not being able to say ‘No’.
‘No’ is not a weak word neither does it show a sign of weakness or cowardice. It only means you are courageous enough to face the fact about your limitations.
Some people simply cannot say No. They lack the sense of judgement to differentiate between what they can do and cannot do.
Learn to say No and don’t feel bad about it. Some people by not being able to say No have entered the trap of the enemy. Don’t be sentimental about issues.
As couples, learn to say No if what you are asked to do violates your conscience. You are not under any obligation to please anyone. You are only under obligations to please God.
Learn to place your priorities right. For example, no one comes before your spouse in words, thoughts, and actions. Put God above all else, your spouse, your children, and then any other person.
Let your Yea, be Yea and your Nay be Nay.
I will stop here for today. Tomorrow is another day to join me as we continue on this very imprortant topic for married couples.
May God grant us understanding and give us wisdom to avoid stress in marriage.
God bless our marriage
.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a wise spouse. I know how to relate with people.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, give me wisdom
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
