Good morning, married folk out there. God bless your marriage. God is committed until your marriage becomes all it has the potential to become.
Your marriage can work out beautifully well. You can enjoy and have that dream marriage you always desire. Don’t for once ever feel it can never happen.
If you believe it can never happen, gosh, you just announced it won’t happen. Don’t give up, but be willing and obedient to do and give your marriage all it takes to make it work.
You know married couples should begin to have this attitude of ‘my marriage is personal and I got to make it work’.
You know while growing up, my dad will always say this proverb, ‘ as you lay your bed, so you will lie on it’. Then, I would wonder, why is he worried about how I lay my bed?
I don’t care about how my bed is, once I hit the bed, I don’t have enough time to notice how it is, I just sleep.
Later, I realized it’s not just about my physical bed, but it’s about life generally. Talking about our physical bed, it’s very good to learn to make our beds well and train our kids to do so too.
Someone said, laying your bed before leaving the house every morning gives you a sense of achievement. It may look small, but somewhere in your sub-conscious you feel good, you have at least a good, well laid bed…lol
For us married, the bed is also very important.
Heb 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
My husband will jokingly say, the bed is the most important furniture to the couple. I want to agree with that.
The bed is the legalized furniture for love making. Of course not the only furniture, several others have joined in the quest for ‘orgasmic’ love making.
Now, talking about focusing on your marriage, you have to decide what you want your marriage to look like. No doubt there are a lot of factors that may want to stand against this but you have to stand your ground. Stand your ground to live a worthy legacy for your children and generation yet unborn.
Focus on your marriage to make it work at all cost and against all odds. Lay the bed on your marriage well, so you can enjoy all the beauty in your own marriage. Lean all the principles you need to learn, drop all bad habits you need to drop. Break all pride, cockiness, selfishness, deception and let your own marriage work.
If you are separated, decide what you want, walk with God and let him show you what next to do. Whichever way, God loves you and still wants the very best for you.
How to focus on your own marriage
1. Focus on yourself You are a vital part of that marriage. Discover yourself. Who are you? What are your desires, what makes you come alive, what makes you enjoy living? Love yourself. Be a happy you.
2. Focus on your spouse As a married person, the most important human being on earth is your spouse. Begin to treat him /her as such. Let nothing absolutely come in between that. Let the whole world know, your spouse is so important to you.
Some people treat their wives like ‘one kobo’ and expect her to treat them like ‘ a million dollar’, it ain’t gonna work that way.
Seize every opportunity to let everyone know this one human being is number one on your list.
3. Focus on God Now, it will be very foolish to want to focus on yourself and spouse and leave God out. It can not work. God is the center that holds the pieces all together. God is the vital force that crowns all our efforts with success.
4. Focus on your strength You have strengths. Whether it’s your beauty, your home making skills, your intellect, your being jovial, whatever it is, focus on it. It’s your selling point in your marriage. Don’t let go of your strong points.it is what will make your spouse keep coming back to you.
5. Focus on minimizing your weaknesses Don’t ever make the mistake of pretending your weaknesses don’t exit. Don’t ignore them. Your weaknesses have the potential of destroying the marriage you are building, so destroy your weaknesses before they ever destroy your marriage.
6. Focus on satisfying yourselves Why should you spend your energy, time, money on trying to please or satisfy another man’s wife? That’s called wastage.
Don’t go into an unprofitable venture. Ask yourself, if I satisfy her, how does it add to me or make my own marriage better?
Tend your own garden. When it’s harvest time, you won’t go and harvest on another man’s farm. It is not your own, so focus and build your own marriage.
Pro 12:11 He that tilleth his land shall be satisfied with bread: but he that followeth vain persons is void of understanding.
God bless you and bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage is blessed
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to embrace your love
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isa 49:16 (GW) I have engraved you on the palms of my hands. Your walls are always in my presence.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Focus on your marriage BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY Matthew 4; Luke 4 – 5
We will be looking at communication during love making. By communication, I mean both verbal and non-verbal communication. During love making, should there be talking? Or it should be as silent as a graveyard?
Another question is, should the room or any where you choose be dark, poorly lighted or fully lighted? That another question we will be looking at today.
All these questions are what you may be asking or is on your mind and we will together throw more light on them.
Well, your comments will be highly appreciated and welcome. Let’s know what happens in the ‘other room’. This can help another couple out there.
In my opinion what happens in ‘the other room’ is as the couples want it. However, being rigid to a particular mould is what may not be too good for the marriage. In my own marriage, we do more of non verbal communication to verbal.
Because our foreplay is usually very long (I strongly recommend this for couples except for quickies). We delight ourselves in each other during foreplay, where we get to explore our bodies. This time, we are free to talk, play and tease ourselves. But during intercourse, we don’t talk much, but a lot of moans! And then we also talk after.
My husband feels (and I agree with him because it works for us,) that talking breaks his flow and concentration. We like to savour every moment. It helps us enjoy each other more. That may be entirely different with you! Talking may just be your trigger!
Some people believe all kinds of dirty talks are allowed and that it is those dirty talks that make them reach orgasm. Let’s have your view.
For the second question, do you like it pitch dark, partially or fully lighted?
I remember when we were newly married, I used to like it when the lights are off. That was when I was shy. But I am no longer particular after I have been married for twenty-two years.
My husband has always liked it when the light are on. And his explanation was simple, “Don’t you know that men are moved by sight?”
As I said earlier, variety is the spice of marriage. We have the lights on now and sometimes, partially lighted.
Let’s hear your opinion. What is going on in your own marriage?
I am waiting for your responses.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage is blessed.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to love my spouse unconditionally
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Prov 5:19 (ESV) As a loving hind and a pleasant doe, let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Discuss with your spouse based on the topic of today
Talking about gratitude or being grateful, I think every couple should be overly grateful to their spouse. Not only is it for the woman to be grateful but also for the man. We all owe ourselves a lifetime of gratitude.
If not for anything, that he/she married you. You know how difficult it could be, being married to you. The times you threw tantrums, the times you were ‘mad’ (literally), the time you did not understand yourself, the time you were under pressure, the time you were in debt, the time when you were sick and all these times your spouse stood with and by you.
I think we all should throw a gratitude party and make our spouses the special guest of honour.
But instead, what do we have? A grateful wife and a complaining husband. I think we all should repent. If only we could change roles we would see that it has not been easy.
If the woman changes roles and becomes the man for a while and the man becomes the woman, we would appreciate our spouses more. The truth is that there is a lot of work in being either of the spouses. Let no one blow his/her own trumpet.
But I want to shed more light on how the wife can use gratitude as a weapon to win the battles on the home front. Well not really battles but more of confrontations.
All women have the tendencies to nag and complain. There are so many things the wife wants to change in her husband. She’s an emotional relational being and so sees all the wrong things her husband does.
The route of complaining and nagging will never work. If anything, it will make your husband battle-ready. The role of the wife is that of influence. Before you can adequately influence, you must have accepted him.
Acceptance comes with praise, gratitude, and thanksgiving. Be grateful first for the hundred thousand before complaining that he didn’t give you a million. Be grateful for the trash he threw out even though he didn’t mow the grass.
I can give so many examples and show us many opportunities we have to be grateful for. As a wife, let gratitude be your daily weapon. Let no day pass without you being grateful. Look for something to be grateful for and do it enthusiastically.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will love for my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, grant me more wisdom and grace in my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Bless your fresh–flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man! Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose–– don’t ever quit taking delight in her body. Never take her love for granted! Why would you trade enduring intimacies for cheap thrills with a whore (Proverbs 5:18-20 Message)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to settle all quarrels amicably
Men’s need for respect is almost top of the list. Every man, your husband inclusive need a high dose of it.
Women who know their onions and wish to make a success of this journey called marriage, must learn how to give it.
Respect must be given on the husband terms, not on your own terms.
Some wives even try to resist offering respect to their husbands or only give it when he is well behaved on their terms. Every wife should know that the man is naturally a fighter. You put up a fight, he gives you in doses you never expect.
In the bible, we read about an exceptional, unforgettable lady by name of Abigail. She was so unforgettable that King David couldn’t keep her off her mind until her husband died and he married her. Abigail’s secret virtue was simple. She was respectful.
She knows how to use her words to encourage in a very respectful way. In her conversation with David when Nabal, Abigail’s husband acted foolishly, she called him ‘Lord’ fourteen times.
I mean that is huge. She kept calling him ‘lord’. She even prophesied about David becoming king. I believe when you are giving respectful encouragement, God will even put prophecies in your mouth like normal conversations.
The world is already full of discouraging words, which your husband has heard all day long. He needs to come home, to a haven, a resting place of peace where the wife showers him with positive words.
Let every woman on this platform make a new commitment to be the number one cheerleader and encourager of her husband. Don’t worry about the words to use, God will honor your commitment and give you utterance.
And I believe your husband will see your efforts and also appreciate it. But if he doesn’t, don’t worry, God is a rewarder and He will reward you.
You can ask your husband to tell you in what ways you need to show respect to him. What are the things you do that are disrespectful to him and what are the little gestures you can do that mean a lot of respect to him?
May God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am my husband’s best encourager.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, I ask for wisdom to know the right words to use that show respect to my husband.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:23 (MSG) The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing.
The issue of in-laws is a very important one. If you have in-laws and they live in the town where you live, proximity should be handled with care.
In laws ought to wish their children the best at least to the best of their knowledge.
I believe it is best before marriage to prepare your heart to accommodate your in-laws in a cordial relationship. It is also good to accept them for who they are.
I am so blessed, when it comes to my in laws. My father, brother and sisters in law are so warm, I couldn’t have asked for anything more.
Both in laws live in another town from us and it’s a blessing (although it has its own disadvantages).
So when some of our married couples begin to say their issues about in-laws I just wonder. Nonetheless, it’s an issue that affects our home and marriage and so has to be addressed.
Here are some helpful hints.
1. It is wrong to discuss your spouse with your parents and in-laws.
2. Getting in touch and staying in touch has to be done by the couple at both ends.
3. If an in-law has to stay with you, it has to be your joint consent. If your spouse is not in agreement, you have to pray about it. Until there is consent, don’t go ahead.
4. If your in-laws need financial support (brother or sister) you should decide together how much you will give.
5. It is your responsibility to send financial support to your parents and in-laws every month or otherwise as the case may be.
6. In the event that a sick parent or in-law has to stay with you, you must give your wife all the support she needs, emotional, physical and financial. Make her comfortable taking care of them.
7. Don’t let any in-law come in between you. You are married and nothing should change that.
8. In case you are parents in waiting, don’t allow the pressures of your in laws to tear you apart.
9. No one should encroach on your privacy. Don’t allow or permit it. You are married to your spouse.
10. You must put your foot down when it comes to protecting your spouse. But you also need the wisdom of God. So make sure you pray for wisdom and God’s help.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have God’s wisdom
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God strengthens you to make the right decisions
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Hosea 14:4 I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely: for mine anger is turned away from him.
