Thoughts or mindsets are very powerful. The mind rules the man. Where the mind goes, the man follows. Victory in life is so much as the victory in your mind.
If you can master your mind, then you can positively channel it for a victorious living. Your level of victory in life is directly proportionate to the level of victory you have in your mind or soul.
Now your mind is the seat of your will, thoughts, emotions and your intellect.
3Jn 1:2 (KJV) Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.
The soundness or health of our minds or souls is so important that we should constantly be checking on the state of our minds.
You need to constantly check your thoughts. Are your thoughts leading you to victory in your relationship, marriage, and life?
You must see these negative thoughts as they truly are. They can destroy your relationship and marriage if you don’t destroy them.
The Bible teaches us how to handle our thoughts, especially the negative ones that can destroy our lives and marriages.
2Co 10:4-5 (KJV) (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) [5] Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
Every negative, ungodly, selfish thought must be cast down. They must not be allowed to govern your marriage, home, and life.
You have to take up that responsibility because nobody will do it on your behalf.
How do you handle negative thoughts? You use godly thoughts to cast down those negative thoughts or mindsets.
Here are ten wrong mindsets or thoughts that can ruin your marriage.
1. My spouse hates me and only shows he loves me when he or she wants something from me.
2. There is no ‘God’s perfect will’ in marriage. Just marry anybody, bear his name, and don’t expect too much.
3. There are no blissful marriages. It exists only as a figment of one’s imagination.
4. Husbands don’t have the ability to love their wives.
5. As a wife, I refuse to allow my husband full authority over my life. He will still end up hurting and cheating me.
6. Faithfulness in marriage is not real. Just pretend everything is okay and pray you don’t get caught or catch your spouse in adultery
7. You don’t have to be one hundred percent sincere, open, or transparent, it’s not worth it.
8. Without money in marriage, there is no love.
9. The Bible, God’s principles, or learning about marriage is not necessary or very relevant to having a blissful marriage.
10. Once my children are okay, that is okay. Expecting my husband to love me unconditionally is asking for too much.
If you have any of these mindsets, it is time to throw them away and discard them.
These are simply the four most important persons in a marriage or relationship setting that will make it balanced and blissful. We all desire blissful marriages, but have you asked yourself why is it so far-fetched? I think the answer lies in this quadrant of marriage. Know these and know peace
This quadrant includes (not in any particular order)
1. God
2. The person of the Holy Spirit
3. The wife
4. The husband
Knowing each person in this quadrant will go a long way in making a success of your marriage. These four persons are key and are also interwoven. Knowing one at the expense of the other could be detrimental to the success of the union.
It is to be noted that the husband and the wife (fiance and fiancee as the case may be if in a relationship). They are both given the responsibility to first know God, then themselves, appreciate themselves, understand themselves, and celebrate themselves before trying to know and figure out the other person.
As I said earlier the knowledge of all four persons is very important and each has its place.
1. God – the big G
He is the sovereign God who rules in the affairs of men and wants the take the wheel in every life if He is permitted. God instituted marriage and He already figured out that we will have directions and instructions both for our lives and for our marriage. So each of us is to follow this Manual. The extent to which we follow it is the extent to which we will know peace in our home and marriage. God cannot be wrong, so also His word. Follow His instructions to the letter for marriage and you are good to go.
Are you getting blessed? I will continue on this tomorrow by God’s grace. Have a fantastic day!
Character flaws are not death sentences but defects that we should be willing to change. Change doesn’t come easy. However, to grow we all need to change. The only constant thing is change. No one is born with the perfect set of characters, we all learn and cultivate them.
Many character flaws are destructive in relationships and marriage. It is essential to talk about them because once we are in love, we may not realize or pay attention to the signs that character flaws are present in your fiance or fiancee.
Here are four character flaws
1. Pride
Once married you and your spouse are joined together as one and you don’t want to be destroyed along with your spouse. Pride goes before a fall. You will notice pride when your partner has an over-inflated ego, doesn’t listen to correction, thinks he knows it all, and feels they are always the boss. Humility is a virtue and it can be learned. Satan was proud and that was why he was cast down. So if you notice even the slightest trace of pride begin to do something about it. Often the person with the flaw may be ignorant of it.
Job 36:9 (MSG) God tells them where they’ve gone wrong, shows them how their pride has caused their trouble.
2. Insincerity
This is a character flaw that may have been learned from childhood as a coping mechanism. Some use it as a defense mechanism. It is not being truthful. The Bible recommends that our Yea be Yea and our Nay be Nay. When your partner has problems with being sincere you need to pay attention to this character flaw.
3. Laziness
A lazy person is the devil’s workshop. One of the virtues one should look for in a partner is hard work. Not just working hard but also working smart. If you learn to work hard, you will learn to cultivate your garden and grow your barren land turning it into a green pasture. There is dignity in labor while a lazy partner will always find fault with his tools. Fulfilling our destiny requires some level of tenacity and hard work. If you notice your partner is lazy, please pay attention to this character flaw.
Pro 15:19 (MSG) The path of lazy people is overgrown with briers; the diligent walk down a smooth road.
4. Greed
This is another character flaw that will eventually lead to destruction. Yes, one should have the drive to want more in life, but greed happens when there is an insatiable and burning desire for more material things. This is what we call the mundane things. Anyone chasing the mundane things cannot be a God chaser and a chaser of His kingdom. A greedy person will chase shadows at the expense of the real things. A greedy person will neglect his family all in the name of making more money.
Pay close attention to these character defects to avoid stories that touch the heart.
Everyone especially the ladies had a dream marriage in mind, what we call, childhood dreams. (not necessarily a dream wedding). A marriage is far more important than a wedding. Our childhood dreams of a ‘happily ever after’ can come to pass.
How we love to feel loved, is usually expressed in those dreams.
It is best to start preparing for that dream marriage as a single lady or guy.
The problem is that most people do not take the time to pursue their dreams.
Their dreams are not even clear enough to them. They have not sat down to conceptualize their dreams and know what their dreams require.
It remains as a wish and never gets actualized.
I believe the process of writing the vision and making it plain upon tablets that he may run that read (Hab 2:1) is very important.
Habakkuk 2:2 – 3 NKJV [2] Then the Lord answered me and said: “Write the vision And make it plain on tablets, That he may run who reads it. [3] For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, It will not tarry.
As a young person, the dream marriage you have always wanted is not meant to just be a dream, it is meant to be pursued.
Knowledge about marriage, application of what you learned, and prayers are 3 important keys to making your dream marriage come to reality.
Whatever stage you are whether you are single, married, having troubles in your marriage or a relationship about to divorce, you can still pursue your dream.
Here are the 3 keys that can help
1. Knowledge about marriage
Marriage is an institution that requires adequate and proper study. You study and never give up. Be a studious student of marriage before you get married and while you are married.
As a lady, study to understand the guy you will marry and study to know and understand yourself and vice versa. Learn about marriage itself. So many people are making a shipwreck of their marriage at different levels because of a lack of knowledge.
How many books do you have or have you read on marriage is a good question to ask yourself
Remember if wishes were horses, beggars will ride.
2. Application of what you have read.
What you read or learn through books, seminars, and conferences is of no use if they are not applied. It is in the doing that we are blessed.
Knowledge creates awareness. We have Awareness, Application, and Accountability where you become accountable to God who gave you the dream and desire of a blissful marriage
3. Prayers
I believe marriage is not meant to be done outside of God. From choosing the right spouse as a single and being the right spouse ( being compatible) to living and becoming one in marriage. You need God all the way. Prayer allows you to commit yourselves to the author of the marriage institution. You receive the needed guidance and help and you learn to talk to God and listen to Him.
Your dream marriage is worth pursuing. Pursue it and don’t give up. Don’t settle for less.
Alright, so let’s dive into this whole respect thing, especially when it comes to your guy and not stepping on God’s toes in the process.
You know how crucial respect is, right? It’s like the glue holding relationships together, making sure everything runs smoothly. But here’s the deal – ladies, we’re good at giving props, showing love, and giving credit where it’s due. But, oh boy, when the guys mess up, it’s like a respect withdrawal party.
Get it. Respect isn’t something you just throw around randomly. It’s earned and deserved. You respect your dad, your boss, your pastor – they’ve got their roles, and you acknowledge that.
Now, relationships, that’s a whole different ball game. Your boo isn’t just a boss or a dad; he’s someone you know inside out – the good, the bad, and the ugly. And let’s be real, he’s probably messed up once or twice, and it stings.
But here’s the kicker – don’t let that mess with your view of him. Respect is like following God’s playbook. When you respect your guy, you’re not just playing by relationship rules; you’re respecting the bigger picture, the whole God-and-marriage thing.
So, how do you do it? How do you respect him without making God frown?
Mind Matters: Respect starts in your head. Accept that your man is the head – it’s not a mistake; it’s by God’s design. Your job? Support that. Remind yourself it’s your duty, and do it with joy.
Learn the Ropes: Some of us didn’t grow up seeing respect in action. You can learn it. Humble yourself, pick up the skill, and show some respect – for God’s sake.
For some ladies, it may not come naturally to them to respect maybe because of their choleric temperament or background. Whichever way, you have to humble yourself and learn to respect him out of respect for God.
Define and Refine: Respect isn’t just a word; it’s an action. Ask yourself, how can I admire this guy more? When you slip up, correct it. Ask, “Is this respect or disrespect?” Treat disrespect like a no-go zone, because, hey, you don’t want to disappoint God, right?
Remember Joseph and his stand against temptation? Well, your ultimate motivation here is not disrespecting God.
Keep that in mind, and respecting your man will be a breeze.
