How To Understand That Special Gender. Mrs. Johnson has just arrived from the salon where she had gone to make her hair. Mr. Johnson is in the living room, relaxing and watching the Television.
Mrs. Johnson: (knocks on the door) Mr. Johnson: Who is that? Mrs. Johnson: My dear, it’s me! Mr. Johnson: (Stands up and opens the door, takes a look at his wife, and then his countenance changes)Mrs. Johnson: What is it dear? Mr. Johnson: What is this on your head? Mrs. Johnson: (She didn’t answer, but walked past) Mr. Johnson: What kind of useless hairstyle is this? Mrs. Johnson: But it’s fine now? Mr. Johnson: You have no mirror, right, this thing on your head that makes your head look like that of a chicken?
Well, Mr. Johnson thinks he is being blunt, but he is actually foolish and unwise. Now, this kind of conversation or communication will devastate any woman. It would even be worse if her love language is “words of affirmation.”
It is okay for Mr. Johnson not to like a particular hairstyle. But it is wisdom for him to have first looked at the many hours spent fixing that hair and appreciated that first. After a week or so, he can just give her some money and ask her to change her hairstyle. That is wiser, simpler, and would save the marriage.
What is the point of being in strife because of hairstyle? This is just one of many examples.
In the school of relationships and marriage, communication is the core curriculum. Communication is so important.
How To Understand That Special Gender. Now, there is no effective communication without a language. Even in non-verbal communication, there is “language”
Language is so important that it was the only thing that God needed to tamper with when the human race got ambitious and wanted to build a tower that would reach into the heavens.
God, Himself looked down and said these people are going to succeed because they have “one language”
“And the Lord said, Behold, they are one people and they have all one language; and this is only the beginning of what they will do, and now nothing they have imagined they can do will be impossible for them.” (Gen 11:6, AMP)
The only thing God could do to stop their ambition was to garble their language. And that was what He did. The moment they could not understand themselves, the project was impeded and subsequently suspended.
What does that tell you?
When you don’t speak the proper language, a relationship or marriage will have serious issues.
Good and constant communication is the oxygen that relationships and marriage need.
The tower of Babel came to a halt. God simply “scattered” their language.
However, at Pentecost, there was the restoration of languages.
“Then how is it that we hear, each of us, in our own (particular) dialect to which we were born?” (Act 2:8, AMP)
At Pentecost, they heard themselves in the languages they understood most!
From these, we can see how important languages can be even in the things of the Spirit, how much more in a love relationship?
If your fiancee’s or wife’s love language is words of affirmation, what it means is that she doesn’t really sense any love until you affirm her with words.
The moment you keep ignoring this language, she will never be happy. Love languages are like passwords, so learn to speak her love language.
The greatest mistake is to keep speaking the direct opposite of her love language, which is critical words!
When you keep on doing this carelessly, you will never have the best of her. You may not notice much in courtship, but in marriage, she will never be happy. And that will affect a lot of things.
How To Understand That Special Gender. God wants you to make each other happy. Whenever any of you is unhappy, it can affect or hinder your prayers.
In a relationship or marriage, ladies get hurt through “insignificant issues” These issues are insignificant to men, but they are pertinent issues to them.
A successful relationship or marriage is about understanding the other person and trying to please him or her without displeasing God. That is what makes it work.
If your fiancee’s or wife’s love language is words of affirmation, you have to go out of your way to speak her language.
I am sorry. God bless you. Thank you. You are beautiful You are the best. You are the greatest thing that has happened to me. You are God’s greatest gift to me. Anytime I think about you, I cannot but thank God for His favour on my life. Since I met you, my life has never been the same. You are a fresh breath into my life.
I love this food. You are so great at anything you do!
I once heard Dr. Albert Oduwole said that it takes nine affirming words from you before criticism can be well received! Learn from that.
Words mean a lot to women. Words are powerful.
“Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.” (Pro 16:24, KJV)
But there are also words that can bring bitterness to a lady. Avoid speaking those words to your loved one! Be wise.
You are just stupid! You are a dunce! I regret the day I met you! You are a strange woman, you’ve brought bad luck into my life. You are so ugly, I am just managing you! And so on.
Those kinds of words will tear any relationship or marriage apart. It is a matter of time.
Find out what her love language is and keep speaking that language. It will eliminate a lot of unnecessary friction.
Read this slowly as I conclude this morning:
“The same goes for you husbands: Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God’s grace, you’re equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don’t run aground. Summing up: Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless—that’s your job, to bless. You’ll be a blessing and also get a blessing. Whoever wants to embrace life and see the day fill up with good, Here’s what you do: Say nothing evil or hurtful;” (1Pe 3:7-10, MSG)
Did you get blessed, go ahead and share! How To Understand That Special Gender
The Greatest Investment For Your Lover or Spouse. Sally and George talked into the night. The love between them was palpable. As they gazed away at the sky dotted with stars that seem to cooperate with their emotions, Sally turned and looked at George. George was expecting a kiss. At last, she was going to yield.
Thoughts raced through his mind. The earth seems to stand still. George has been transported away in the rapturous romantic setting as he imagined what it would be like locking lips with Sally…and he was enjoying it until his fantasy was rudely interrupted by a question from Sally,
He woke up from his fantasy adventure, rather disappointed.
“George, what do you think would be your greatest investment into my life?”
“Hmmm…”
George had no idea what response Sally wanted exactly and he didn’t want to say something that will douse the romantic fire of the night.
“It would be your quest for knowledge. It would be an ongoing investment in your mind! Sally said.
Chai! This girl doesn’t know the times and seasons at all! George thought!
He sheepishly nodded his head in agreement with what Sally said. “Yes, the mind!” He said.
The Johnsons, who got married a few years back have not been enjoying their marriage as they expected. They couldn’t place their hands on what could be wrong.
Rather than search for answers, they kept on blaming themselves. The quarrels became incessant.
The reality is that every couple comes into the marriage with their baggage. These items of baggage are filled with experiences, opinions, outlooks, and so on.
However, the place of marriage is a place of learning and unlearning!
You have to be open to knowing more and also realize that you don’t know a lot!
What is The Greatest Investment For Your Lover or Spouse?
It is your quest to know more that ensures you will keep working on your marriage, making adjustments, and investing heavily in knowing more! This is The Greatest Investment For Your Lover or Spouse
Who is that woman you are married to?
Who is that man you want to spend the rest of your life with?
Who is that guy you are walking the aisle with?
Who is that lady that will bear your children and be their mother?
How can you keep pleasing each other?
Like the scriptures says:
Pro 1:20-23 (AMPC) Wisdom cries aloud in the street, she raises her voice in the markets; [21] She cries at the head of the noisy intersections [in the chief gathering places]; at the entrance of the city gates she speaks: [22] How long, O simple ones [open to evil], will you love being simple? And the scoffers delight in scoffing and [self-confident] fools hate knowledge? [23] If you will turn (repent) and give heed to my reproof, behold, I [Wisdom] will pour out my spirit upon you, I will make my words known to you.
Wisdom is everywhere. They are in the books. They are encapsulated in people around you!
This is what Kisses and Huggs Club devotionals attempt to do. To daily bring the wisdom of God to you for your relationships and marriage! Bringing to you The Greatest Investment For Your Lover or Spouse on a daily basis
Make up your mind to invest in your relationship and marriage today! It is The Greatest Investment For Your Lover or Spouse
Spirituality And Reality Of Soul Ties. Sally and George have been engaged for only three months. But in the short time they were together, they could not remember as many times as they had been intimate. When they quarreled after three months, they parted ways and went differently.
Somehow they kept thinking of each other. They had moved on differently and each of them even have new relationships but they kept on thinking of each other.
What happened to them? Why couldn’t they move on? Spirituality And Reality Of Soul Ties
The Johnsons, on the other hand, married a few months back and have their issues as well. Mr. Johnson couldn’t enjoy intimacy with his wife without importing the thoughts and images of his exes. He would have to disconnect from his wife and reconnect in his mind to a certain ex before he can reach the crescendo.
What was his issue? Spirituality And Reality Of Soul Ties
Sexual intimacy is created by God for your enjoyment and to bring you closer to marriage. It is the highest level of knowing your spouse. God is so particular about it that He said you must not deny or defraud each other. In other words, satisfy each other.
As a matter of fact, when you starve each other of this great blessing that God has afforded you, you actually make yourselves vulnerable. And the devil is quick to set up such traps in offices and anywhere. So, married couples, learn to satisfy each other, that is exactly what God wants.
The issue that Mr.Johnson has is called soul ties with previous lovers.
For Sally and George, the reality is that they have what is called a “soul tie!”
This is what pre-marital intimacy does! How does this happen? Spirituality And Reality Of Soul Ties
In marriage, it brings a bonding between the couple, because that is one of the purposes of intimacy. It cements the couple and joins them together at the highest possible level. Their souls become knitted together. They become one. They are glued together, and God says nobody should put them asunder.
But in intimacy outside marriage, there is also a bonding. It is just that it is another kind of bonding. It is an illegal bonding that gives access to the operation of demonic entities in one’s life. It is called soul ties.
This is what the scripture is talking about here:
“Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.” (1Co 6:15-16, KJV)
Can you see that?
In pre-marital intimacy, the two people also become one body! They are not married, but there is an illegal bonding that gives access to legal operations of demonic activities because of disobedience.
Message Translation puts it this way:
“There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.”” (1Co 6:16, MSG)
So we see that this is spiritual. As a matter of fact, when you get involved with someone, you are actually having intimacy with everybody that person has had intimacy with! It is not uncommon to see a person suddenly stealing after being intimate with someone that steals!
There is nothing like casual sex. Nothing is casual about it, it is spiritual. There is nothing like a one-night stand. One night stand can lead to an eternity of woes and damnation.
There is nothing like a quickie outside marriage. One quickie and one’s destiny can be quickly set back by five years or more!
This is just the reality! Spirituality And Reality Of Soul Ties
How do you break soul ties from past sexual mistakes?
1. Ask God to forgive you for the mistake 2. Repent and make up your mind not to do it again. 3. Fast and pray and ask God to severe every bonding and soul ties 4. Disconnect from such a person. Stop all the calls and chats 5. Psalm 23 says, “He restoreth my soul!” Ask God to restore your soul 6. Stop living in sin. Jesus told that woman, “Go and sin no more!” 7. Patiently wait for the salvation of God in your relationship. Don’t be hasty. Cooperate with God’s plan. 8. Believe that God has a plan for you and that the plan will become a reality. 9. Keep reading and studying God’s word. Your mind will be renewed over time. For example, if you can follow this devotional consistently, your mind will be renewed in this area and you will get to know a lot of things and be prepared for marriage and as married. A lot of people have testified to that.
I pray for you this morning that God will grant you more understanding.
Right now, I break every form of soul ties that may exist in Jesus’ name. I destroy every plan of hell over your destiny, I declare you free from consequences of past mistakes and I ask in the name of Jesus and by the power of the Holy Spirit that your soul be restored now to God’s desire for you as an individual and in your relationship/marriage….in Jesus name! Spirituality And Reality Of Soul Ties
This Is For Every Lady And Wife. Yesterday, I started writing about how to know if he will not marry you. I will conclude today and I will be writing to singles and married.
4. Authority figures are involved
This Is For Every Lady And Wife
For wives, the greatest thing you can encourage your husband to do is to make sure he submits to at least one authority figure! Such a person will be a mutual mentor to both of you whom you can listen to. There will be days you will need somebody like that to speak into your lives.
Singles, you can be very sure he will not marry you eventually if he avoids any authority figures in your plans.
“Don’t let’s talk to our parents now.”
“I don’t want pastors to know for now.”
“Let’s keep this between the two of us only.”
A relationship like this that is isolated and exists only between the two of you is the easiest to end. This Is For Every Lady And Wife
5. Perpetual life of unfaithfulness
Dear wives, do you suspect your spouse is cheating on you? Your response is important at this time.
Fighting, resorting to anger, retaliating by going out too, and such attitudes would not help. The best you can do is to have your spouse’s back which will begin with him being sincere! Sincerity shows a window for repentance. Denial is a bad sign. Talk. Communicate. Seek help.
“But pastor I don’t want to expose him?”
Well, he will soon expose you if you are not careful and everybody will blame you why you kept quiet and allowing fire to keep burning on the roof of your house!
For singles, you have discovered more than once that he is cheating on you. He keeps begging you that he won’t do it again. But you keep discovering from time to time.
The question is what are you doing with such a person? It is just a matter of time. If somebody is committed to you, he will focus on you.
Let’s even assume he gets married to you. He has been trained to be unfaithful, so you will need to live with that.
And then when you catch him again after marriage, he drops the bomb,
“But you know me before you got married to me! These girls are always disturbing me, what do you want me to do?”
He just told you that you will have to live with it.
May God bless our relationships and marriages. This Is For Every Lady And Wife
How To Know If He Won’t Marry You. Sally was downcast. Her whole world seemed to have fallen apart. In the past few hours, she has wept, lamented, and even considered suicide.
She could not believe what happened earlier in the day. Her husband-to-be, whom she loved unreservedly with all her heart, told her that he is no longer interested in marriage.
No reasons, no explanation, and that was it.
For once, she regretted that she allowed him to have sex with her severally. She felt so used and dumped that she couldn’t even pray. She felt small to even approach God in the place of prayers.
She thought about the mockery that would attend to her from friends and foes. She really loved Ade, and there was nothing that suggested that he would make such a shocking decision.
As she sat before the mirror in her room, she suddenly hated the whole idea of marriage. She looked at herself and concluded, “Maybe I am not beautiful enough.”
She even hated God as well. Why would God allow such a thing to happen to her, of all people?
What Sally doesn’t know is that the tell-tale signs have always been there that something like that would happen, but she didn’t take heed.
The second thing she doesn’t know is that pre-marital sex brings confusion into a relationship and you lose your sense of judgment and discernment because of illegal bonding and soul ties.
What are some of the tell-tale signs that a man would dump you later? What are the subtle signs?
How To Know If He Won’t Marry You. I will be talking to singles and married.
1. He will keep on telling you what you want to hear in order to keep you as long as he wants
He has your password. He knows what to say to keep you begging when there are quarrels even when he is obviously in the wrong. He knows how to manipulate your emotions to his advantage. He will always tell you what you need to hear. In fact, he enjoys quarreling with you because he knows you will always come begging, and begging will always culminate in sex
Ladies that fall to this gimmick often have low self-esteem. The guy is logical and he can see that, so he starts feeding that self-esteem in order to keep getting sex
For married couples, you must keep keep telling each the truth, but in love! Be naked before each other and don’t entertain sinister thoughts about each other because of hurts
How To Know If He Won’t Marry You
2. He will evade discussions on wedding plans
He will try as much as possible to evade discussions on wedding plans. If you trouble him enough, he will give you a date that he would not be committed to.
One other way he does that is to get angry whenever you raise the issue of a wedding and settling down.
Since you love him and you don’t want him to get angry again, you too will avoid it as much as possible discussing such again.
It is a sign that anything can happen.
For married, do not evade meaningful discussions. This is the oil of your marital engine. Keep on talking and don’t increase your vulnerabilities with silence and withdrawal
How To Know If He Won’t Marry You
3. He will never make commitments
When you ask him directly about plans, he will tactically avoid your question with no direct answers. You will spend two hours talking and yet there is no headway. He knows what he is doing. His mind is not made up.
When a guy’s mind is not made up, he would not talk, or at most he would tell you lies.
And because you are in love, you so easily believe the lies. But if you think deeply, you will know that something is wrong somewhere.
Married couples, be committed to each other! Focus on one another as no other person exists. Please each other after pleasing God! May God bless your marriage!
